


Vanilla Is For Ice Cream

by xotragician_child



Series: Vanilla [1]
Category: Gerard Way and the Hormones, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Aftercare, Anal Sex, BDSM, BDSM contract, Blow Jobs, Character Death, Cock Rings, Comfort Sex, Gay Sex, Heavy BDSM, Hesitant Alien Gerard, Jealousy, Kinks, Kinks galore, M/M, Masturbation, Mentions of Marquis de Sade, Mentions of Paraphilias, Mentions of Rape, Office Sex, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Paraphilias, Punishment, Punk Bullets Frank, Restraints, Rimming, Self-Bondage, Sex Toys, Smut, Spanking, Urination, fetishes, intense BDSM, intense smut, mentions of abuse, mentions of child abuse, mentions of torture, vanilla smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-04-25 18:42:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 46
Words: 316,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14384766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xotragician_child/pseuds/xotragician_child
Summary: Based off the one shot, Mr Way Will See You Now, by me (parahutes) but now there's a twist. Co written with my partner in crime, xotragician-childFrank is just an inquisitive you adult with a penchant for politics and a boyfriend in the loop. Gerard Way is just a congressman with a bright suit and even brighter hair. Frank just can't get enough of the older man and the way he walks and talks and glances. When Gerard finally lets Frank in, it unleashes something in both of them that neither would have expected in ways that neither counted on. But it's all a secret now because Gerard's a very important man and of course, Frank's just a kid.





	1. Prologue: Defenseless and Needy Like a Pup in Heat

**Author's Note:**

> So this story is back. I am nothing more than a complete and utter idiot and here we are, doing this one last time. This being the last time I make stupid mistakes and end up doing shit that I regret.  
> Hopefully you guys know the drill by now. Chapters are rotated between us unless split. Parker has to prologue, I have chapter one and then so forth yada yada yada. I will add additional tags as this goes up because I know there was a definite slip up with warnings on a later chapter the pervious time so I will tag and warn accordingly to the story. Hope you enjoy guys. I honestly do love this story. I reread it over the past week while I finished off and started one of my latest chapters and really, I love these characters and I love this story so I really do hope you guys enjoy too.

"I am severely disappointed in you, Frank." Gerard said simply, his voice low, etched with a stern, deadly warning that had a tingle running down Frank's spine, the same kind of feeling you get when you're walking alone at night. Gerard ran his skilled, pale fingers through his windswept, slightly greasy, orange locks.

Frank couldn't reply however, he was more preoccupied with staring up at his master, the submission piling over his senses like molasses. He tugged on the rope on his wrists, the tight, thick rope that bound each of his limbs to each of the bedposts, exposing and sprawling him out like a fur rug ready to be trampled on.

Frank let out a small whimper around the ballgag in his mouth, tugging again as he craned his neck to look at Gerard, who had his arms crossed over his chest, still dressed for work.

Gerard had sent Frank home early, getting more and more enraged with the young boy. But it was all on purpose. Frank had decided that morning that he had had enough of Gerard being so boring. Considering that boring was Frank's usual spanking and degrading. And Gerard just wasn't getting the hint that his submissive wanted more, nor would Frank say he wanted more lest he wanted a violent and unpleasant literal kicking in the ass.

So that was when Frank had begun to mess up, spilling Gerard's coffee on the floor, misspelling on his notes and wandering around like a lost fart. However, the cherry on the bondage-frosted cake was when Frank had pretended to be listening to music, well aware that the phone was ringing off the hook. And he heard Gerard all but blow a fuse and storm out of his office looking exactly like Frank had pictured. He was livid. And the dominant, death-like glare was doing something and everything to Frank's insides.

Gerard ripped the earphones from Frank's ears and grabbed the twenty-two year old by the ear, hoisting him up onto his feet. He told Frank that he was excused for the rest of the day and when Gerard got home, he was expecting Frank to be on the floor by their bed and he wanted visible marks on Frank's knees that he had been sitting there the entire time.

But of course Frank went home and took a nap instead, falling asleep with a smirk on his face. He did however get into position a couple minutes before Gerard got home, anticipation thrumming under his veins as he stripped down to nothing and waited, perched excitedly on his knees, eyes trained on the door like a puppy awaiting his owner.

Frank did not have marks on his knees and Gerard looked even more pissed off, and this was how Frank ended up in his current position, staring up at Gerard, who hadn't even gotten out of his clothing, only having shed his blazer, still dressed in his prussian blue slacks, his crisp white shirt still tucked in, sleeves rolled up and his black tie loosened.

"So disappointed," Gerard repeated, "What's gotten into you?" Gerard asked as he unfolded his arms, the riding crop coming into Frank's view again, immediately making the younger boy's asshole clench.

Frank let out a muffled sound in reply and Gerard frowned, snapping the crop down, hitting Frank's big toe and making him jerk.

"I didn't give you permission to answer me, did I boy?" Gerard said simply and Frank shook his head, feeling the sweat beading under his fringe from the constant panting and straining, his core muscles aching as he continued craning his neck to look up at his God, his worshipped Master, the man he based his life upon, keeping him high on the shiniest golden pedestal

Frank flopped back, giving up for a moment, letting his body rest as he tried to calm his insides, his heart that threatened to potato gun out of his rib cage like a flea on acid, his stomach that continued to do jumping jacks against his colon and his diaphragm, and his brain that had whited out of reality minutes before when Gerard had grabbed him by the hair and thrown him into the mattress as though he were throwing a misbehaving dog outside.

"I don't know what I'm going to do with you..." Gerard tutted, lowering the riding crop down, trailing it over the sole of Frank's foot, making him squeeze his eyes shut and his leg jerk as the intense tickling ran up his body. Frank bit down on the gag, trying his best not to kick and jerk and scream as the torture continued.

Frank glanced down at Gerard between his feet, who was watching him solemnly, his eyebrow raised a fraction as he leaned an arm on the bedpost and slid the leather tip of the crop up and down over Frank's foot.

Frank fell back again, his eyes widening before they shut as he clenched his fists, panting, feeling hot tears running down the sides of his face as he held on to whatever sanity he had left.

And eventually he couldn't take any more of it, any more of Gerard's excruciating torture and he let out a loud shriek, kicking his foot away, knocking the crop from Gerard's hand and sending it flying, skittering across the hardwood floor.

Frank froze, his chest rising and falling, coming to terms with how badly he had just fucked up. He stared up at Gerard; slurping slightly at the saliva that was now mingling with the tear stains that had run over his face in a fluid mess.

"Now why did you go and do that, boy?" Gerard asked quietly and Frank let out nothing but a shaky breath, watching Gerard's eyes darken, "That wasn't clever, was it?"

Gerard walked over, picking up the riding crop and examining it as though it were a priceless jewel before he set it down, "You really are being a recalcitrant today, aren't you boy?"

Frank whimpered, knowing that Gerard's words and grammar got more and more fancy and eloquent as his temper rose, Frank didn't even know what the fuck Gerard had just called him but he knew it wasn't good.

"I'm going to have to do something about you and your lack of savoir-faire." Gerard said simply as he brought the riding crop down on his palm in a hard slap, making Frank jump. The latter frowned and Gerard smirked, "Such an ignorant boy. Your lack of tact and behaviour, dog."

Frank sighed softly, flopping back, already asking for some deity he didn't believe in to take the wheel, just let him die already. As much as he was protesting, as much as he didn't want to be punished, he was fucking riveting. He was fucking pumped for it, his anticipation teetering on the edge because he had been waiting for so long to have Gerard looking at him like that again.

And, oh god, Frank had any and all scenarios playing out in his head of what Gerard would do to him, but he didn't want to know.

"So what am I going to do..." Gerard trailed off, undoing his tie and slipping it from his collar before he rolled it up, walking over to place it neatly in the top drawer where the other thousands of ties resided. He turned back, his eyes meeting Frank's own fearful gaze, "I could always give you a nice caning, hmm?"

Frank's eyes widened slightly at the thought of Gerard bending him over, making him touch his toes, holding onto his ankles as he aimed solid, full-armed swings at Frank's ass with a thickened cane.

"Oh that got your attention, did it?" Gerard asked, a dark amusement on his face as he wandered closer, "Or how about I string you up and whip your pale ass. Give you a nice twenty five, make you cry and beg, boy."

Frank let out a high-pitched yelp, the mental image making his stomach tighten almost like he were to vomit. Staring at his Master in fear, shaking his head slightly.

"No? You're telling me no, are you, dog?" Gerard asked, leaning over the side of the bed, his head hovering over Frank, who was officially trembling in fear, "How about a solid fucking belting, huh? Put you in your place when I put you over my knee. Or I make you stand, don't I? Make it impossible for you to sit, you'd like that, wouldn't you, you heedless little poach?"

Frank let out a groan, the venom in Gerard's voice practically dripping over his face like a large predator salivating over its weakened prey, about to kill and devour.

"Or I'm gonna fuck you. Fuck you raw, unstretched, over and over and never ever let you come. How does that sound, hmm? Fuck you for hours, having you sobbing in silence and you can't do a single thing about it like this, can you, boy?"

Frank swallowed hard, staring up at Gerard, his body all but melting into the bed when Gerard narrowed his eyes, smirking as he got up and walked to stand at the end of the bed.

"Aren't we in a predicament, now?" Gerard asked with a sneer, his hazel eyes glinting despite being ringed by sleepless circles as he untucked his shirt from his pants and slowly, teasingly slowly, unbuckled his belt and unfastened his pants, pausing to stare at Frank.

Gerard continued his undress, unbuttoning his shirt slowly before unrolling his sleeves and shrugging the shirt from his shoulders, letting it fall from his pale and unmarked body. Frank sucked a breath in through his nostrils as he took in his Master's skin, wishing to savour the touch of his God, of his Golden Calf to worship and follow.

Gerard smirked, looking down at himself and at Frank, "Oh you wish, don't you?"

Frank nodded, letting out a desperate whine but Gerard scoffed lightly, "Should have thought about that before you decided to continue with your transgressions."

Frank cursed himself internally, staring at Gerard as the latter bent down, kicking his shoes off and pulling his socks off before he straightened up and unzipped his pants. He let them fall, standing there in the tightest pair of black boxers that left absolutely nothing to Frank's imagination.

The younger male stared at Gerard with a burning hunger in his belly, trying his best to ignore his own aching erection, eyes scanning, no matter where he looked, his gaze would continue to travel back to Gerard's crotch, the black material and the way it stretched over Gerard's dick.

Gerard stepped out of his pants before he crawled onto the end of the bed and inched forward, sitting between Frank's legs. They locked eyes again for a moment before Frank looked away, knowing he would get in even more trouble if he looked his Master in the eye. He stared up at the ceiling as the weight shifted and Frank felt Gerard's body hovering over his, Gerard's face suddenly coming into view.

"Look at me, boy." Gerard commanded and Frank swallowed, looking at his Master, who was staring down at him with a solid, stoic face, "I'm going to wreck you. For hours." Gerard bit his lip, "Oh, you're not going to be able to do a thing about it... Helpless, useless... Weak."

Frank whimpered softly and Gerard leaned back before a slow stream of spit landed on Frank's face, running down his mouth and his cheek, their eyes locked as Gerard actually spat on him.

"Weak little boy." Gerard muttered, "Look at you, hmm? Defenseless and needy like a pup in heat."

Frank scrunched his eyes closed, pretending that all of the insults and the disgusting words weren't getting to his insides, that they weren't making his stomach tighten in knots over and over, that it wasn't making his heart race and his dick ache even more than it was.

He wanted to be angry about Gerard spitting on him, he wanted to be offended, but he couldn't. Frank never knew he needed it, he never thought that something as simple and disgusting as the saliva of his Master would get him going as much as it did.

He could feel it running down his neck and he shuddered, looking away from Gerard, who took Frank's jaw in his long fingers, gripping it before his slicked digits slid down to Frank's throat, squeezing it tightly before he let go.

Frank gasped slightly around the gag and Gerard lifted him up, sliding a pillow underneath Frank's lower back with a proven skill before he lifted Frank up, pushing against him with a smirk.

"You better pray, boy. You're going to wish you were dead when I'm done with you."


	2. Chapter 1: When a Date is as Painful as Pulling Teeth, but There's an Early Night

Frank was late. There was absolutely no getting around it or out of it, he was late. By about fifteen minutes now. It wasn't much, but it was enough to have Frank cursing under his breath, knowing that Ryan was probably pacing at home, waiting for him.

 

It wasn't like Frank to be late. Not saying that he was the kind of guy who was always on time or even always late to a degree that it was expected of him to be tardy. He usually kept track of the time pretty well, especially when it came to a certain day of the week.

 

But Frank had lost track of time at work, so deep in work that when realised what time it actually was, he knew that he was going to have to do a number on explaining himself when he got home.

 

Home which was still a fifteen minute drive away. Traffic wasn't going how Frank wanted it to and he swore that the lights were against him because he had been far too immersed in what he was working on, which had been left discarded on his desk, but still, at least he was trying.

 

Trying to say the least as the fourth red light forced him to stop, cursing under his breath while time ticked on.

 

Eventually he got home, forcing his key into the lock so quickly that he was surprised that he didn't snap it in the process. Frank walked through the door so fast, breathless from the jog he did from his car to the front door. Panting slightly as he threw his bag down, tossing his keys into the bowl on the table by the door before looking into the front room.

 

No sign of him, that wasn't good. 

 

Frank stepped into the kitchen, catching his breath back quickly before he saw him. He saw Ryan sat at the table, arms folded across his chest, watching him quietly, eyebrow cocked up with curiosity, wondering what Frank was going to say was his reason as to why he was nearly half an hour late. Not saying a word while Frank pieced together his explanation in his head, smiling weakly, apologetically for a moment.

 

Ryan wasn't cross at him. He assumed that Frank had probably lost track of time at work. He knew that happened sometimes, especially when Frank got stuck into a piece that he was fully immersed in. It was just that Ryan knew what they did on a Tuesday night and Frank did too. Of all the days of the week he had to run late from work, why in the whole world did it have to be that he ran late on a Tuesday? Frank knew Tuesday nights were date night. Frank knew that Ryan didn't like to run late. 

 

He was the one out of the two of them that was the timekeeper. The one that liked everything to run smoothly and exactly how it should do, every time. He was the one that liked everything to go to plan, it was just sometimes that Frank didn't help with the plan. 

 

Not that Ryan was mad at him, but still, he sat waiting, not moving, watching Frank while he pointed towards the door like it was going to be the one thing that explained everything as to why he was late.

 

“I'm so sorry,” Frank apologised instantly, hoping that Ryan wasn't going to be mad at him for running late. Five minutes was fine. Ten minutes was fine, possibly, anything longer and even Frank knew that Ryan would not be impressed over how late he had ended up being, “I got caught up at work-”

 

“It's fine,” Ryan spoke quickly with a sigh, smiling softly, giving Frank some relief when he realised that he wasn't mad at him, “I assumed you were just running late from work.”

 

“Traffic was so bad. I kept hitting all the-”

 

“Will you relax,” Ryan cut Frank off, unfolding his arms from his chest, sorting out a flyaway strand of hair that had gotten into his eye from when he had styled it nearly an hour ago, “I don't need every detail. You’re here now so...it's cool.”

 

“I’d be mad at me if I were you.” Frank snorted, going to the fridge quickly to grab something to drink.

 

“Well I'm not mad at you,” Ryan reassured Frank in a second, “You're here now so, let's not ruin the evening.”

 

Frank didn’t want to feel like he had ruined the evening, but he couldn’t help it. Tuesday nights to them were the night of the week when they took time for themselves. Took time to spend time with each other because sometimes work got a little too much. Sometimes life was just too hectic, but Tuesday nights, it had been set a long time ago, pretty much since they left school and got a place together, that one night a week, they would at least take the time for each other. Bond and connect and be who they were to each other. Boyfriends.

 

It had originally started out as something that Ryan had suggested. A date night for the two of them. One night out of the whole week that meant that the two of them could do something together for the both of them. Make the time for each other. Do something different together, be it going out for dinner, or catching a movie, just anything. It didn’t matter because it was a Tuesday night and it was just the two of them.

 

The thing was, the variety soon left the one night of the week that the two of them spent together. Dates out to the movies became few and far between and eventually, it became easier to just go out to dinner. They had found a restaurant that the two of them had liked. More Ryan liking it because it felt comfortable. Eventually it stuck and date night just turned into them going out to dinner. Same restaurant. Same table, even the same food for Ryan because he liked the same and he liked the security of it being their reoccurring thing to do.

 

He liked it. Frank may have found it somewhat dull and wished that they mixed it up a bit more often, but Ryan was happy so he didn’t feel the need to rock the boat, trying to get him to branch out into more things that they could do.

 

“You look nice.” Frank commented as he shut the fridge, looking over at Ryan who was still sat at the table, checking his watch because they were running late. Not just because Frank had been late. Also because they had their reservation at Chateau Rouge. Table was booked for seven, same table, every week to the point that they probably didn’t even need to make the reservation anymore. It was close to seven already. They were not going to make it there for seven. That made Ryan anxious because he knew that Frank was still going to have to get ready. Change, shower, get himself ready to go. He could feel himself twitching over the idea of being late, even though Ryan smiled at Frank, appreciating the compliment that he had been given.

 

“Thanks,” Ryan responded, running a hand over his striped shirt and open buttoned shirt over it, fingers eventually resting and gripping lightly on the necklaces he had on around his neck before watching Frank slip a finger into the knot on his tie, pulling it free before tugging it away from the collar of his shirt, “Are you going to take long to get ready?” 

 

“Nah,” Frank told Ryan, beginning to make his way towards the stairs to go and change out of his work clothes, already unbuttoning the top few buttons on his shirt, “Quick shower, change. I'll be ready in no time.”

 

Ryan wanted to believe that Frank would be  _ ready in no time,  _ but he also knew that Frank tended to get distracted while getting ready. Doing his hair, choosing his outfit, just generally taking more time than was needed to get ready. There was no way Frank would be ready in no time and Ryan knew it while he watched Frank, noticing the shirt he was already wearing.

 

“You gonna wear that shirt again tonight?” Ryan asked, wondering how he hadn't noticed that Frank had put it on to wear while he was at work. It had been a shirt that Ryan had bought for Frank as a present. Off white with small intricate blue patterns on it. Not exactly a Frank type shirt, but Ryan had loved it and he thought that Frank would love it too, which he did. He usually wore it out on date night because he knew that Ryan liked it when he wore it out, but today, for some unknown reason, Frank appeared to have worn it to work and Ryan honestly didn't know why or even understand why Frank had done that. All he knew was that he hoped that Frank was going to wear it out tonight. 

 

“Probably not,” Frank told him, standing in the open doorway of the kitchen, holding off on heading upstairs to go and get ready while he talked, “I wore it to work today.”

 

“Oh, okay,” Ryan said flatly, trying not to show that he was disappointed in the fact that Frank wasn't going to be wearing the shirt out on date night tonight. “Just don't take too long getting ready, okay?”

 

“I’ll be five minutes.” Frank told Ryan with a smile, even though he knew that he was going to be at least five minutes in the shower. Then he also had to decide what he was going to wear tonight. Frank knew that he would at least be ten to fifteen minutes. Ryan knew that too, but Frank honestly didn’t want to keep him waiting, especially when he looked anxious already.

 

Twenty minutes later they were finally out of the door. Frank had taken a little longer than usual to get ready, much to Ryan's dislike. He sat in the passenger seat of Frank's car, chewing on his nail nervously. They were so late. Ryan hated being late. Frank was being a lot more casual about it, seeing as they always went to the same place on a Tuesday night now. The guys who ran the place knew them by name. They could probably just turn up without a reservation and get a table, just because it was them. But that didn’t stop Ryan being so nervous about the fact that they were running late. It didn’t stop him worrying that their table might have been taken because what if they thought that they weren’t coming? Of course they were, but what if they just assumed and gave their table to someone else? What if they turned up and would have to sit elsewhere? What if they turned up and there was nowhere for them to sit? Ryans mind was racing with different possibilities, making him worry more. Frank however was still casual, driving, eventually noticing the fact that Ryan looked tense sat next to him in the car.

 

“Will you relax,” Frank smiled at him, reaching a hand over to give his thigh a squeeze, “It won’t matter that we are a little late.”

 

“You took so long getting ready,” Ryan grumbled, giving Frank a sideways glance because really, he was the reason why they were running this late. Even though Ryan wasn’t cross at him, Frank couldn’t help the fact that he got out of work late, he still could have been a little quicker when it came to getting ready for this evening, “I’ve never known a person to take so long getting ready.”

 

“I didn’t take that long,” Frank protested, looking down at what he was wearing. Fine, yes he had taken a little longer because he couldn’t find the black shirt that he had wanted to wear with the dark grey jeans he had put on. He didn’t just want to go out wearing a t shirt and be too casual while Ryan looked nice in his shirt and jeans. Frank had eventually found the shirt at the back of the wardrobe, but it had taken him a few minutes longer to get ready, but not so long that they were going to lose their reservation. Frank knew that they barely needed to even reserve a table by now, but still, he felt the need to do it because it kept Ryan calm. Even if he wasn’t so calm now as they got closer to their destination, “I took a normal amount of time to get ready.”   
  
“I just hope we haven’t lost the table,” Ryan sighed, not wanting to walk into the restaurant to find out that they had given their table away. He didn’t even know what to do or think if they had done that by the time they got there, “We are so late.”   
  
“Ry, please just relax,” Frank smiled at him again, turning the car down the road, “We are minutes away. They will not have given our table away.”   
  
“You sound so confident.”   
  
“Because we are there every week,” Frank smirked, “They know who we are. They practically know what we order. Just relax and have a nice evening, okay?”

 

Ryan tried his best to relax. It was hard, especially as he checked his phone, seeing that they were half an hour or so late. But he took in a deep breath, trying to reach the same level of casual calm that Frank was at. It was just hard though because Ryan hated being late. Punctuality was practically his middle name, “Alright, I’m calm.”

 

“Good,” Frank nodded, turning the car into the same car park that he did every Tuesday. Practically the same parking space by the wall, not so much the same time as every Tuesday, but at least they were here now as he parked the car, “So what if we are late? We are here now so it doesn’t matter.”   
  
“Okay,” Ryan spoke, not sounding too confident while he unclipped his seatbelt, but Frank did have a point. They were finally where they were supposed to be. Fine, they were late, really late, Ryan tried to not be too nervous about it while he got out of the car, pulling his shirt around him for a second to keep warm, “You can explain why we are late.”   
  
“We don’t need to explain anything.” Frank said with a sigh, locking up the car once he was out, pocketing his keys before holding his hand out to Ryan. He took it, giving it a squeeze while the two of them made their way towards the restaurant. 

 

When they walked into the place, that was when Frank realised that maybe he should have called ahead like Ryan had said to do when they first got in the car. It wasn’t that the place was busy, there were free tables dotted around the small restaurant, but it was the fact that some of the tables had been moved around, forming a long table down one side of the restaurant. Waiters were laying the table as they walked in and Frank knew that he really should have called ahead, especially seeing as their usual table that was near the window was now nowhere to be seen. Probably part of the long table that was in the process of being set up.

 

“What’s going on?” Ryan asked, standing next to Frank, frowning at what he saw.

 

“Nothing,” Frank answered fast, clearly knowing that it wasn’t nothing, it was just the fact that he didn’t know what to say to Ryan who clearly was panicking now because they were here, be it half an hour or so late, and their table was nowhere to be seen, “I-I don’t know.”

 

Frank honestly had no idea what was going on. He wished that he could tell Ryan to allay his fears, but with the fact that their usual table had clearly been moved to make room for a bigger table, he had no idea what was going on. Maybe they had been too late? Maybe Frank had made them run so late that they really did think that the two of them weren’t going to show tonight like they usually did every week. He felt bad now, looking towards Ryan, ready to apologise before Ryan took it upon himself to find out where their table actually was.

 

“Hi,” Ryan said to a passing waitress, grabbing her attention, “We had a table booked for seven? Sorry...we ran late.”

 

“Oh,” The waitress said, surprised to see the two regular customers who they honestly thought weren’t coming tonight, “We didn’t think you guys were going to show…”

 

“Like I said, we ran late,” Ryan smiled at the waitress before shooting Frank a look of  _ this is why you call when you run late.  _ Frank raised his hands up innocently. He didn’t think that they had run late to the point that there table had been given away, “Can we still eat? Our usual table seems to be...missing?”

 

“Like I said, we thought you weren’t coming tonight,” The waitress explained, pointing towards the long table that was still being set up, “We have a group of twenty coming in so we had to rearrange.”   
  
Ryan was not happy at that. In his head, it was like all of the possible outcomes of what was going to happen because they had run late all mashed into one and in his head, what was comfortable and regular for him suddenly scattered everywhere. It wasn’t like he was panicking. Ryan liked to believe that he didn’t panic. It was just that he wasn’t calm like Frank had told him to be. How could he relax and enjoy their evening when their table had clearly been given away for a group of people that were probably only going to be here for one time only.

 

Frank could sense that Ryan wasn’t okay with this. He could see the look of sheer panic in his eyes. What they usually did wasn’t going to plan and Frank knew that he was going to have to take control of this so Ryan didn’t have a minor meltdown over the fact that they had run late for their own table.

 

A table was a table. It wasn’t like the exact one was needed to have a nice evening still.

 

“Can we still eat?” Frank asked the waitress with a smile, “We made the reservation-”   
  
“We didn’t.” Ryan muttered under his breath so only Frank could hear.

 

“Look, we didn’t mean to run late, but can we still eat?”    
  
“There is a free table, but it’s not your usual one guys.” The waitress said apologetically, pointing towards a table on the other side of the small restaurant. She knew that they always sat at the same table every week. She also knew that they nearly always ordered the same things every week, except for the one with the shorter hair who always changed his food order. That she knew, but only because they were pretty much their regular customers, “We can set you up there. Shall I bring you over some menus?”   
  
“I don’t know,” Ryan immediately turned to Frank, not liking the idea of sitting somewhere else in the restaurant one bit. It wasn’t like he was out of his comfort zone with the other table that was probably just as good as their usual one. But Ryan was a creature of comfort. He needed his usual spot to feel like he was still going to enjoy himself, even though he was because he was with Frank. It just didn’t feel the same and that made him internally squirm at the idea of sitting somewhere else, “Frank, what do you think?”   
  
“I think a table is a table,” He shrugged, knowing full well that wherever they sat was going to be just fine, but this was also Ryan that he was talking to. What he had said was not the answer that Ryan was looking for and he wasn’t best pleased with him, especially seeing as he was the one who had brought them into this mess, “Look,” Frank backtracked fast, hoping to save the situation, “Just because we don’t have our usual table doesn’t mean that we won’t have a nice time.”

 

Ryan begged to differ, but only because he glanced over that the empty spot where there table had been. Not too close to the window, not in the centre of the restaurant. It was secluded to a degree because it was near the far wall. Plus he liked how the kitchen was open planned so he could see when their food was nearly ready. It was just the fact that their whole evening had been thrown into disarray now over one table. So much so that Ryan didn’t even know if he wanted to stay right now.

 

“Maybe we should just go home,” Ryan suggested, “Get some food on the way home.”   
  
“No,” Frank protested, realising that the waitress was still waiting to find out if they wanted the free table or not, “We are here, there is a table, let’s just have a nice evening,” Frank smiled at him before turning back to the waitress, “We will take the table.”   
  
“But it's not our table.” Ryan complained again under his breath, walking close to Frank so he could hear while the waitress guided them to the table.

 

“Look at it like this,” Frank said after the waitress told them that she would bring over some menus, “It could be our table, What if they rearranged the tables to the point that our table that was once over there, is now right here, and we are actually sitting at our usual table.”

 

Ryan looked skeptical at first, not so sure about the idea, but Frank was already taking his seat, hoping that Ryan would follow suit. 

 

Which he did. Eventually. He pretty much just caved, liking the idea of the table actually being there table. Yes, it wasn't the same, but it could be for one night. Their table had just been moved. Maybe it wasn't in the same spot by the wall so they were kind of out of the way. It wasn't near the kitchen. It was now further away from the window, which was a good thing because Ryan didn't like the idea of being watched whilst eating, so yes, even though the table wasn't technically their table, even though Frank had told him to see it as their table, only rearranged, he still pulled his chair out and sat down.

 

“See,” Frank smiled at him from the other side of the table, “This is nice.”

 

“I guess.” Ryan said, still not feeling quite comfortable with the idea of sitting at a different table, but he was sat down now and the waitress had come back, handing them both menus before asking them what they wanted to drink, “I'll have a soda water with lemon please.”

 

“Single Jack and ginger please.”

 

“You're driving.” Ryan pointed out, hoping and praying that Frank wasn't thinking about getting drunk tonight.

 

Drunk Frank was fun Frank, but there was no way in hell that Ryan would get in the same car as him. Plus he didn't want to fork out a small fortune on a taxi fare home if Frank did decide that he wanted to drink tonight. 

 

They had already decided in the car anyway. Frank was driving tonight. Ryan was the one who could have a few drinks.

 

“It's only one,” Frank reassured him after the waitress had said that she would be back in a moment with their drinks, “Relax. I'm not getting drunk.”

 

“Okay, good.” Ryan nodded, picking up his menu before opening it and looking at it.

 

“Don’t know why you even look,” Frank smirked playfully at Ryan, knowing full well that he knew the menu to the point that he knew what he was going to order.

 

The same thing that he always ordered every week.

 

“I like to look,” Ryan told him, looking at Frank over the top of his menu, “I might want something different.”

 

“Really?” Frank asked, genuinely curious because yes, he too was now looking at the menu, but the thing was, he mixed it up. He always ordered something different. Or at least rotated what he had when they came to eat.

 

Ryan always had the steak, medium rare, with a baked potato and side of vegetables. When his food came he always ordered himself a white wine spritzer. Same thing every week. He was a creature of habit. He never changed what he ordered.

 

“So are you going to order something different?” Frank asked casually before thanking the waitress for bringing over their drinks, practically knowing that Ryan wasn’t going to change his mind, but he was just curious to see if Ryan was going to push the boat out and add some variety to their date night for once.

 

“Nah,” Ryan decided instantly after seeing what he always ordered on the menu. He closed it, setting the menu down before he smiled, “I know what I like, I’ll stick to it. You know what you’re having?”   
  
“I don’t know…” Frank said slowly, eyes scanning over all the choices that were lay out in front of him, “The eggplant steaks sound nice…”   
  
“What did you have last week?”   
  
“God I dunno,” Frank sighed, unable to remember because it had been a whole week since they had last been here. As much as Ryan was one for routine, Frank was definitely one for mixing it up and being a little more exciting with his choices, even if he didn’t remember because he had just been far too busy since he had last eaten out a week before, “Something veggie.”

 

“Well you better hurry up and decide,” Ryan spoke quickly, noticing that the waitress was watching them to gauge if they were ready to order, which she assumed they were when Ryan made eye contact with her, “Think she’s coming over.”   
  
“What can I get you guys,” The waitress smiled after walking back over and rejoining the pair, standing by their table while holding her pen poised against a pad of paper, “You having what you always have?”   
  
Frank looked up then because he knew that the waitress was talking to Ryan. They were known, or at least Ryan was known for never really changing his order when they came to eat. He smiled, wondering if Ryan was going to have a last minute change of heart, but he didn’t when he picked up his menu and handed it to her.

 

“Yeah,” Ryan told her, knowing full well that they knew his order, “My usual.”   
  
“Medium rare steak, baked potato and a side of veg,” The waitress said out loud as she wrote down his dinner order, “Still having your spritzer with your meal?”   
  
“Yeah.”   
  
“Riesling?”   
  
“As always.” Ryan smiled at her, feeling almost quite proud about the fact that he could make minimum effort on his order because the staff here knew. It was so much easier just to stick to the same thing and Ryan liked that. The sheer ease of it all made him smile and feel happy over the fact that they had chosen to stay, even though they weren’t sat in their usual place. 

 

“And you?” The waitress turned to look at Frank, waiting for him to say what he wanted. But he had no idea, still choosing while he ran his thumb over his chin like it was going to help him figure out what he wanted to eat. Not that he knew. He ended up remembering what he had had the week before. Risotto. He hadn’t really enjoyed it too much, not that he would have sad anything. Frank didn’t want to rock the boat, especially when they came here every week, so of course he said that he had enjoyed his food when the waiting staff came over to clear their table.

 

“I’ll have…” Frank spoke slowly, having one finally scan of the menu, seeing Ryan looking at him above the menu, probably wondering why it was so hard for Frank to make a decision. Why couldn’t he just make it simple and order the same thing every week? That wasn’t Frank though. He wasn’t like Ryan with his need for everything to go one hundred per cent perfectly and to have it the same as always because it was more comfortable and there was less stress involved, “I don’t know…”   
  
Ryan groaned audibly then. Frank gave him a look of  _ what, there’s a lot to choose from.  _ He didn’t know and to be perfectly honest, he didn’t want to be rushed into choosing what he was going to have.

 

“You want me to give you another minute?” The waitress asked nicely, still smiling her pink lipstick smile that them before Ryan had to go and pipe up.

 

“We don’t need another minute,” Ryan reassured her politely, “Frank, you know yet?”   
  
“I’ll have the roasted asparagus and tomato penne pasta, please.” Frank finally answered, closing his menu before handing it to the waitress.

 

“Anything else?”

 

“We're good for now.” Frank told her, smiling at her, watching her when she said that their food would be with them soon before she disappeared off into the kitchen.

 

Comfortable was the main word when it came to Ryan. Even though he wished that he was sat in his usual place on the other side of the restaurant, which was now being taken up by the growing group of people who was sat on the long setup table, he still knew that they were going to have a nice time. It was comfortable because this was what they did. Every week when they set the evening aside to make time for themselves, it was always nice for him. The few hours of catch up and reconnecting with Frank. Not that there was a loss of connection, but he liked to think that this was good for them. They had been together since high school. Sweethearts that stuck together after leaving school, scraping together enough money to get their own place together. It was more than perfect for Ryan because he knew from an early age what he wanted to do with his life. Something that he really knew once he had figured out his sexuality and got himself a boyfriend that he loved so much.

 

It was the stability of a relationship. It became more serious when they moved in together, like he knew that what he wanted was what he had, even when Frank had been lugging boxes into their new place two floors up in an apartment complex. He was a settler and what they had, including what they had now, was more than perfect. 

 

Minus the table, but Ryan was looking passed that right now as he sipped on his drink, aimlessly chewing on the straw, letting out a content sigh.

 

“You okay there?” Frank asked, frowning.

 

“I’m good,” Ryan spoke, “Would rather be sat over there,” He pointed towards their usual place across the restaurant which was now being taken up by a group of people who were being overly generous with alcohol, already getting a little too noisy for Ryan's liking, but it wasn't like he could just walk over and tell them to keep it down because they were on date night.

 

Not that Ryan had the confidence to even consider doing that anyway. 

 

“Well we are making the best out of a bad situation.”

 

“One that you created,” Ryan noted, drinking more of his drink before he piped up, “You never did tell me why you ran late.”

 

“Did I not?” Frank frowned, trying to tiptoe around the reason because god, even he knew that why he had run late was the makings of a dull conversation that really wasn't appropriate for date night, “It doesn't matter. We are here now so, that's all that matters.”

 

“But it matters to me,” Ryan pouted slightly, “Tell me, I wanna know.”

 

So Frank began what seemed to sound like the long and arduous explanation as to why he had made them late for their reservation. It really wasn't worth the conversation, they easily could have talked about something more interesting, like what they were going to be doing at the weekend, or even talk about anything else, but no. Frank knew that Ryan wouldn't leave it be until he knew exactly why. He liked to be in the loop and god, even after ten minutes of going through and explaining how Frank had run late because he had lost track of time on some work, even Frank swore that he was getting bored of the sound of his own voice. They really could have talked about anything else and if that had actually happened, then Frank wouldn't have been hating how he thought that he had droned on for too long.

 

“Sorry,” Frank apologised quickly when he swore that Ryan was looking at him with bored and tired eyes, propping his face up with his hand, elbow resting on the table, “This must be boring.”   
  
“It’s not,” Ryan reassured him with a smile, “I’m not finding it boring. I’m just glad that work is going well.”   
  
Work which Frank knew he really couldn’t complain about. He worked for a local newspaper. He had bagged the job not long after him and Ryan had moved in together. Ryan's parents ran the local newspaper so to keep it in the family, Frank had been offered the job because him and their son had been dating for so long now that he was practically a part of the family. Frank enjoyed his job, he really did, but even when the work load got hard, he knew he couldn’t complain to Ryan because one way or another, his complaint would make it back to his boss, his unofficial father in law, so to speak.

 

“So, how was your day?” Frank asked, running through the obvious choice of conversation starters because it was easier and god, even talking to Ryan, which should have been the easiest thing to do, became hard because they were in each others pockets all the time. Frank found it hard, dealing with the silence which Ryan found comfortable and nice because it meant that they were at a point where they could sit in silence and still have a nice time. He just found it hard because had they really got to a point where Frank honestly didn’t know what to say to Ryan? Had it really got to a point in their relationship where Frank had to run through obvious conversation starters just to talk to his boyfriend?

 

Ryan went on about his day at work. The kind of talking and explaining what had happened to him which went into great detail. Frank felt himself zoning out at one point because as much as he was listening and he knew some of the people that Ryan was talking about thanks to last years christmas party which had been a complete downer for him, he still felt his brain going into autopilot mode. Tired of hearing the same dull stories about who messed up the office kitchen and oh wow, what had Spencer done now that was really actually quite boring. Frank didn’t feel bad about it to be honest, he used to, but with how long they had been together and how they had turned out to be at such a young age, Frank sometimes felt himself wandering in his own head while Ryan went on, smiling and laughing when he told the story about some joke which wasn’t actually that funny to Frank.

 

Accountants, they have a really poor sense of humour, Frank thought to himself.

 

He still laughed though. The dry, weak laugh which sounded kind of fake, but because Ryan was in mid flow of talking about his day, he didn’t pick up on it. Neither did he pick up on how Frank was holding his drink, thumb running over the rim of the glass, looking into it before he gazed over at a nearby table, wondering for a second because here he was. They were here yet again on yet another repetitive date night and two people were sat not far from them. A couple of tables over. A man and a woman which made Frank smile.

 

They looked happy. He assumed that they were together as they talked. The man was reaching out, holding onto the woman's hand while he watched her intently. He looked genuinely interested in what she was saying and he laughed when she laughed at something funny. He found what she found funny as well. Plus the way they talked and he leaned closer to her. The way they just seemed to have this amazing vibe coming from them. Like a warm aura of love and affection.

 

Frank loved Ryan, he did. He had loved him from the moment the first love yous were slipped out back in high school, but something was now missing. Frank could sense the spark from the couple a few tables over from them, but it made him wonder where his and Ryan's spark had gone. Was it still there? Was it just buried underneath everything else? All the nine to five routines and far too comfortable nights in and the goodnight kisses at bedtime with no possibility of sex to come from it? Frank hoped that it was somewhere. It had to be. Sparks couldn’t just die and and leave them with a far too normal and far too comfortable for Frank's liking kind of relationship. Comfortable was for shoes, not for love and fires in relationships and wanting to feel like there is so much more to it all than this.

 

“Are you listening to me?” Ryan asked, noticing how Frank looked like he had zoned out, staring off into space instead of putting his full attention onto what he was saying.

 

“I’m listening,” Frank snapped his head back round, looking right at Ryan with complete honesty plastered over his face, even though he hadn’t really been paying attention. He just had a knack for listening when he wasn’t really listening, so he could get away with it, “You were talking about Spencer and the near office  _ lovers  _ tiff that he had had with Scott.”   
  
Ryan had assumed wrong. He honestly thought that Frank had spaced out and was paying more attention to whatever he wa staring at across the restaurant. Maybe Ryan had just looked at him at the wrong time, maybe he had been listening intently all along because yes, he had been talking about the near argument at his office and how he had said that the pair of them, both Spencer and Scott, had been arguing so much and in such a stupid way that they might as well have been lovers who were just having a simple fall out. Frank had been listening and Ryan just sat in his chair, looking at Frank, smirking at him.

 

“What?”   
  
“I thought I’d lost you for a second there.” Ryan said, sipping on his drink slowly.

 

Frank would never admit that he had been looking at the other couple across from them, jealous of them because even from just a quick glance and a quick assumption, their relationship was much more than what Frank had with Ryan. He wished that it was more, but getting Ryan to do anything that wasn’t something that he did regularly, it was hard. He was so set in his ways that for Frank, it was just easier to go with the flow of it all. Go with Ryan because Frank was never in the mood to have falling outs over something so simple and ridiculous as just mixing it up a little every now and again.

 

“With you the whole time.” Frank smiled at him, putting Ryans mind at ease, even though he really had, in his head, floated away from where he was right now, wondering, practically hoping that something would change and brighten up what he now thought was dull.

 

So Ryan continued, talking more about work, talking about his day in general, talking about his journey home from work. Talking about all the minor little details that really didn’t need to be talked about. The kind of stuff that people wouldn’t be interested in, like how Ryan swore that the queue was going to be never ending when he went to get his coffee at lunch time. They way he talked about how he used the vending machine at work and got two bags of chips out instead of one. It really was dull to Frank, but he still pretended to listen and be completely and one hundred per cent interested in what Ryan was saying.

 

Even if deep down, sometimes all he wanted to do was to tell Ryan to shut the fuck up. Hell, even find something more interesting to talk about so Frank could actually engage him in the same conversation. Not just feel like he was being talked at, sighing, finding himself glancing back over to the table that had caught his attention in the first place.

 

They were eating now. Both of them were paying attention to the plates in front of them, but they were still talking. The woman had said something, making the man smile before he responded to her. Actual conversation. Not just one of them being talked at because the one who was being talked at had just been trying to be polite. Fill the silence that would have probably have been inevitable if Frank hadn’t have asked Ryan that simple question.

 

Frank watched for a moment, still feeling jealous of how they seemed to connect on such a simple thing like going out for dinner. Must be a new couple, Frank thought, they don’t look like they have had the excitement sucked out of them in the course of a six year long relationship. Yes, Frank loved Ryan, but it was different now, especially seeing as how Ryan was like an old and comfortable wife in their relationship now. Frank didn’t want them to come across as an old couple at the ripe old age of twenty two, but god, Ryan was the kind of guy who could’ve probably have passed off as over thirty with his behaviour and view on their relationship. Happy with the quiet dinners out. Happy with the bedtime kisses and love yous before rolling over and going to sleep. Happy to just go day in day out without any excitement.

 

Frank missed that, the excitement of it all. He missed going out and cutting loose, getting a little drunk with Ryan before stumbling home and ending up in bed with him, or even in the kitchen with him.

 

How the hell had they gotten so old in their relationship so quickly? Frank didn’t have a clue how it had happened, he just knew that it had and with how Ryan was now, there was no going back to how it used to be.

 

Frank noticed how the guy at the table held out a forkful of food to the woman. He looked like he was trying to encourage her to try his meal, which she did, leaning over and eating right from his fork. Frank couldn't remember the last time that they had even done that. He couldn’t even remember if they had ever done that. It wasn’t that Ryan was funny about sharing food, it was just that it was something that never happened between them. At home, even out at restaurants. It never happened. 

 

“Frank, did you just hear what I was saying?” Ryan said a little louder, making Frank look back at him, realising that he hadn’t been listening then. He looked wide eyed at Ryan, trying to think on the spot. Just say something, anything. An answer that could be valid for whatever Ryan had just gone and said to him.

 

“Yeah,” Frank nodded confidently, “I’m sure it’ll be good.”

 

Ryan huffed then, sitting back in his chair, “You weren’t listening to me.”

  
“I was!” Frank insisted.

 

“So,” Ryan cleared his throat, ready to test Frank, “If Spencer keeps up with the arguing, you think him getting fired will be good?”   
  
Frank opened his mouth to answer, but Ryan had caught him and really, he knew there was no way to prove that he had actually been listening. Frank didn’t care about some guy that he barely knew getting fired. If he was going to get himself fired then it was his own fucking problem. Not Ryan or Franks.

 

“That’s not what I meant…” Frank spoke, trying to save himself.

 

“Oh?” Ryan quirked an eyebrow up at him, watching Frank squirm while he spoke.

 

Luckily something had to go and happen that made Frank realise that he could save himself at least. He knew how fussy Ryan would get if he had been paying attention to him, but thank god. Frank breathed a sigh of relief, pointing towards the kitchen as their waitress started to bring over their meals, “I thought I had seen our food.”   
  
“Really…” Ryan said, not sounding too convinced, but he couldn’t call Frank on it because the waitress had just set down Ryan's meal in front of him, “You got distracted by our food?”

 

“You know me when I’m hungry,” Frank smiled, thankful that the waitress had decided to appear then with food. She said she would be back in a moment with Franks, giving him a window to finally save himself, “Can’t concentrate when I’m hungry.”   
  
“Uh-huh,” Ryan muttered, not sounding too convinced, picking up a carrot from his side and eating it. He didn’t want to cause an argument, not here. God no, not in public, so Ryan decided to let it slide. He knew that Frank hadn’t been paying attention to him. He seemed to have a habit of going away into his head. Lost in his thoughts from time to time, so Ryan just let it go, smiling at the waitress when she brought over Frank's meal and his white wine spritzer, “Whatever you say Frank.”

 

Frank technically hadn’t been lying though. It had been perfect timing in all honesty. He was the kind of guy who couldn’t concentrate when he had an empty stomach. He was also the kind of guy who could happily put up with a few minutes of silence while he started to eat his dinner, realising just how hungry he actually was.

 

Ryan was the same with his meal though. It was like some form of preparation for him. He never put his side onto the plate and he always made sure that everything was separated. Then he would sit there, poised with his knife and fork ready. Frank always watched for a moment, knowing full well that Ryan was taking a moment to decide what he was going to eat first. Never mix it up. He always went for the same thing, even though he did take the moment to consider it. It made Frank wonder, did Ryan just go through the motions of doing this because it was something that he did every week? Did he ever consider changing it up and eating his baked potato before moving onto the steak? Was that what was going through Ryan's head right now? Steak or potato? Am I really the kind of person that cannot eat my food together?   
  
He went for the steak first as always, starting to cut it up on his plate.

 

They talked while eating. Frank was sure that the conversation probably wasn’t the same kind that the couple over from them were having, but Frank tried to push them out of his mind. He was still trying to enjoy their evening out. It wasn’t like one couple could be the people that ended up putting a dampener on the evening for Frank. Ryan was having a good time, he said he was and he said that he was enjoying his food like he always did when the waitress came over to check. Frank nodded at her too, unable to answer with a mouthful of food.

 

It was all well and good that he was enjoying the food. Thank god he hadn’t ordered the risotto again, but deep down, something made Frank sigh. Was he actually really enjoying himself? Had six years really boiled down to the same routine every tuesday night? Meal and then maybe, just maybe, at bedtime, Ryan would suggest something that would put a smile on Franks face.

 

That was if he was lucky. It wasn’t even his birthday anytime soon.

 

“So…” Frank piped up, changing the subject halfway through his meal, sipping on his drink before looking at Ryan. He had talked about his day in great detail, now it was time for Frank to finally announce what he had been told today. What he hadn’t been able to say earlier because they had been running late, “I got given an opportunity at work today?”   
  
“Did you?” Ryan queried, looking excited for Frank because usually when he got an  _ opportunity,  _ it usually came with a bonus of some sort, “What kind of opportunity?”   
  
“To write an article,” Frank explained, smiling because he knew that the opportunity he had been given was something that he was more than happy to do. If anything, he was excited about being given the chance to do what he had been told, “Basically I go and talk to and question someone in politics for like, how they got into it. What they plan to do. Usual questions. Unfortunately I can’t ask how fucked up the system is, but I think we all pretty much know the answer to that without even questioning.”

 

“That’s fantastic! I’m so proud of you,” Ryan beamed, so happy for Frank. Working his way up the ladder in his job. Back when he had started working at the paper, he had merely been like an assistant. Coffee runs and menial tasks. Then he finally got onto editing and for the past year, he had been working on small articles that he was so sure that barely anybody read. But this was big, this was an opportunity and Ryan was so happy that whoever had given him the opportunity, probably his father no doubt, was confident that he could do it. Ryan knew he could do it, Frank was pretty clued up on stuff like this, “How long do you have to do it?”

 

“A week,” Frank said, feeling nervous about it because seven days really didn’t seem like a long time, especially seeing as he didn’t know anyone and he barely had any decent connections. Yes, he knew that he could find people to talk to through work, but actually bagging himself a politician to talk to. Hell, he didn’t know many, if at all any that lived in his area, “They know I have an interest in politics so that’s why they offered it to me. They know I will do a good job on it because I actually really want to do it.”

 

“That’s amazing,” Ryan continued to beam, so happy for Frank. So excited for him. Not the same level of excitement as Frank had because he was the kind of nervous excited that made his stomach churn. Not sure whether he was going to throw up or not over the idea, but hell, he was going to do it and do it well because this was his chance to prove himself, “So do you know who you are going to do the article on?   
  
“I don’t know...” Frank deflated a little then with a sigh, pushing his dinner around his plate for a moment, “I don’t really have any connections to anyone political. I can probably get through to someone at work, but it’s going to be hard to bag an interview with only a week.”

 

“I know someone.” Ryan smiled then, feeling pretty good about the idea of actually being able to help Frank out and have him do so well at work.

 

“What?” Frank stopped dead then, fork of food halfway to his mouth before dropping it back down to his plate. He was confused. Ryan had never said anything about this before. He knew someone? “How? Wh- how have you never told me this?”   
  
“Oh relax,” Ryan chuckled, waving a hand at Frank because he honestly looked like he was trying to remember if this was something that he had been told before and he had just forgotten about it. Ryan had only found out a few weeks before so really, this all seemed like perfect timing for Frank, “I have a friend who got a job as an assistant for someone big in the area. They’re not the brightest person and I’m pretty sure that they won’t last as their assistant.”

 

“Who?” Frank frowned, trying to picture and imagine one of Ryan's friends working for someone in politics. It didn’t seem possible, but the clearly it was.   
  
“Remember Brendon?” Ryan asked, wondering if Frank remembered him from the last time they hung out some months back at some birthday party that Ryan had originally not wanted to go to. He had been glad that he had gone in the end. He got to catch up with his friend and actually for once have a nice time out which didn’t involve the usual Tuesday night routine.   
  
Frank thought for a second, trying to remember who this guy was. Eventually he figured out who Ryan was talking about, “Forehead. Yep, I remember him.”

 

“He is the assistant to someone pretty high up,” Ryan went onto explain, hoping that he was going to be helping Frank out in some way. Even if Frank couldn’t talk to the person that Brendon worked for, then at least he could try and put him in touch with someone who would be available to, “So, maybe I can talk to him and see if he can do something. Do me a favour so you can write your article. Blow my dad out of the water with it.”

 

Frank couldn’t believe that Ryan would do that for him. He didn’t know what to say for a second, mouth opening and closing a few times before finally he found words that seemed like enough, but they probably weren’t, “That would be amazing. Thanks Ry.”

 

“You’re welcome.” 

 

Frank felt so good now. The dull cloud that had been hanging over Frank's head seemed to have lifted now. All thanks to him piping up about how his day had been at work. Fine, Ryan's talk about his day at work had added to the cloud that had hung over Frank's head, making him wonder what the hell was happening to them, but this one thing, Ryan helping him out with his work, it had lifted him up. It had put a smile on his face and filled him with confidence that he was actually going to do okay.

 

Maybe even a promotion? It hadn’t been mentioned, but who knew? Maybe if he did do a really good job then doors would open for him. Maybe even have Frank earning more money finally.

 

“Your food looks nice,” Frank changed the subject again, looking over the table, wondering if Ryan would actually do something that he probably hadn’t done to Frank for a long time. The couple from the table across had put the idea into Frank's head and he knew that he wanted to go through with it.

 

“It is nice,” Ryan agreed with a nod, “One of the reasons why I get it when we come here.”   
  
“Can I try some of your side?” Frank asked, testing the water to see if Ryan would actually do it. Such a simple thing to do. Just put some on a fork and reach across the table. If the couple over from them could do it then why in the world couldn’t Ryan?

 

There was probably many reasons why he couldn’t and wouldn’t do it, but Frank was being optimistic now, waiting for Ryan to do it.

 

“Sure,” Ryan told him, pushing the side across the table so it was closer to Frank.

 

“Oh,” Frank said flatly, really not expecting that Ryan would just bypass the whole ordeal, which wasn’t actually an ordeal, of putting some of the food onto his own fork and feeding it to him. It really wasn’t a thing, but to Frank it bothered him and knocked the wind out of his sails a little bit. Why couldn’t Ryan just be a little more like like the guy from across the restaurant. Why couldn’t he just be a bit more...Frank didn’t even know. Less boring? It wasn’t even about the simple gesture of letting Frank try his food by feeding him, but it was enough to have Frank sighing, just stabbing at the side before pushing it into his mouth, chewing like he was put out by it all.

 

“What?” Ryan questioned, wondering why Frank looked like he had just sucked on a lemon.

 

“Nothing,” Frank muttered, trying not to sound like he was done, but deep down inside of him, there was a small part of him that was.

 

\---

 

“I like this,” Ryan spoke once they were out of the restaurant, the cool night air hitting the two of them after they had finished their meals and had decided to leave.

 

“What do you mean?” Frank asked curiously, walking along side Ryan, instinctively going to hold his hand because that was what they did after dinner on a Tuesday night.

 

“I mean I like what we do,” Ryan reiterated, “Going out like this. Same time every week. It’s nice.”

 

“Yeah,” Frank answered with a sigh that thankfully Ryan didn’t pick up on. Yes, it had been nice to start off with when they first decided that they were going to put one night a week aside for themselves. It had been more than nice because they would go to the movies or they would go and have dinner or they would just do something that would be different and not like what they did every other night of the week. Frank had enjoyed it, and he had enjoyed tonight, but it was dull and doing the same thing every week seemed to use up more energy for him. Tiring, just not what it used to be, like it would never be the same again because Frank was basically doing what Ryan wanted to do. Simple as.

 

He wished that they could mix it up and go out somewhere different. Maybe even find a bar and just chill out that way. Not have Ryan worrying about who was driving home. Not worrying at all while they actually finally connected on a level that fitted them. They were twenty two, not forty two and had been married for god knows how long. They were still young and as much as Frank loved Ryan, he just wished that he would act his age a little more. Stop being the comfortable old man that he was turning into too soon.

 

“You wanna go for a walk?” Frank asked, not wanting the evening to end just yet because if it did end then that was another date night done and dusted. Another night just wasted doing the same thing over and over. Frank wanted to try and push Ryan a little. Push him in a healthy way that might get him into doing something different. Even if it was just a walk to the park that Frank knew was nearby. At least it was something different and that they hadn’t done for a while.

 

Frank just wanted to add something else, that was all. He didn’t want to end up climbing into bed when he got home, kissing Ryan goodnight before rolling over, unable to sleep straight away because he lay there, wondering what the hell he was doing with his life right now.

 

“Nah,” Ryan shook his head, looking down at his feet while they walked, “Think I’m feeling an early night.”   
  
“Oh okay,” Frank said, trying not to sound disheartened because his idea had just been nixed. He couldn’t force Ryan, even if he did wish that he could just give him a little push towards something that was out of the ordinary for his usual routine, “Okay, so...are we just going home then?”

 

“Frank…” Ryan practically purred, realising that Frank hadn't got what he meant by an early night, “I mean, I want go home...and have an  _ early  _ night with you.”

 

It took a second for the penny to drop in Frank's head. When it did drop, it was like a penny dropping in an ocean, causing a tidal wave of thoughts and realisation that made Frank's eyes go wide.

 

“Oh…”

 

“Yeah,” Ryan smirked, “ _ Oh _ .”

 

“So, do we...do you wanna,” Frank stumbled on his words. He hadn't been expecting Ryan to say that to him. It had been a while since they had last been intimate to the point that Frank had gone past the point of thinking that it was just going to happen spontaneously. Ryan didn't have the same drive as him, which sucked for Frank, but when he did end up on the same page as him, Frank honestly didn't quite know what to do. Practically giddy with the idea of it, “Home?”

 

“I think that is probably the best thing to do right now.” Ryan giggled softly, loving how flustered Frank got when he was like this. Adorable and probably instantly horny now that the idea of sex had finally been put on the table.

 

“Right,” Frank nodded, his hand slipping from Ryan's so he could get his car keys out of his jacket, pulling them out as the pair started to make their way towards where he had parked earlier, “‘kay, home.”

 

“You okay there?” Ryan had to ask, watching how Frank was fumbling with the car keys in his fingers when they finally got back to the car. He could barely get them in the lock, far too excited for his own good right now, practically ripping the car door off its hinges when he got it open finally. 

 

“I'm good,” Frank nodded, knowing full well that he was really going to be doing more than okay very soon. He felt like all of his birthdays had just gone and rolled into one because waiting nearly two weeks to have sex with his boyfriend was a long time to go without for Frank, “More than good.”

 

Plus he would have known if it was his birthday. 

 

The pair got in the car and Ryan couldn’t help but chuckle at how eager Frank was being. He shoved the key into the ignition, turning it before looking back, reversing out of the car parking space. Driving out onto the road, putting his foot down on the accelerator a little more than he should have done.

 

What could Frank say? He was eager, but only because the last time they had had sex was a few weeks ago. That was more than enough to drive Frank crazy to the point he had considered just having some alone time in the shower. He hadn’t though and right now, not jerking off in the shower was totally worth it as he drove towards their home, definitely going a little faster than usual just because of what was going to happen once they got home.

 

“Y’know,” Ryan said when he realised that Frank was more than likely driving faster because of what he had said. One of his hands held onto the seat belt that was strapped around him and the other held onto the door, hanging on like Frank was racing, which Ryan wasn’t exactly a fan of, “If you want to get me hot and bothered, making me freak out in a speeding car is not one of those things that is going to do it.”

 

“Relax,” Frank calmed Ryan, reaching over to run his hand a little higher up his thigh than usual, “We will be home in no time.”   
  
“Or we could get home in one piece?”   
  
It was true, Frank wanted to get home in one piece too, but now that he had the one thing on his mind that he had gone and missed for two weeks, there was no way in hell he was going to take his time to get back home.*

 


	3. Chapter 2: Shot Down by Oral Hygiene

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot how much I love what we created at the beginning...the build up and just, I can't say too much or I will give stuff away but yes, I do love this

“Ry- Babe…” Frank whined as he sighed, turning to look at Ryan behind him who was walking into the house at what felt like a snail’s pace now that Frank knew sex was on the table.

 

Frank wished it was on the table, that he could just push Ryan down onto the kitchen surface and have his way with him right there. But Ryan would never, just in case it broke or what if someone saw- or they wouldn’t have a condom or lube in the kitchen, it didn’t make sense.

 

But Frank couldn’t complain. Sex was sex and Frank was getting it. He shouldn’t and didn’t care about the where, only the who or how or when.

 

And when seemed like it was taking forever to come to fruition as Ryan stood in the middle of the kitchen, no more than likely scrolling through the pictures of his food he had taken earlier, looking at the likes and comments he had no doubtedly gotten. 

 

“What?” Ryan looked up from his phone as he set it down on the counter again, looking once at the screen before he walked over to the fridge and stowed his leftovers away, closing the door to look at Frank again, “What?”

 

“You’re taking forever…” Frank whined unhappily as Ryan shrugged his jacket off and hung it over the back of one of the kitchen table chairs- a habit when he was to wear the jacket the next day to work.

 

“I am not.” Ryan muttered simply, walking passed Frank and out of the living room, into the hallway. Frank stared after his boyfriend longingly, his voice ringing in Frank’s head, “You coming?”

 

“God, I hope so.” Frank muttered under his breath as he trotted after Ryan to the bedroom, scampering in to see Ryan at the mirror in the en-suite bathroom, plying toothpaste onto his green toothbrush.

 

Frank stifled a groan as Ryan began brushing his teeth, looking at himself in the mirror, a hand resting on the edge of the basin. Frank stood in the doorway, watching Ryan with a wanting in his stomach.

 

“You’re doing this on purpose.” Frank stated simply, folding his arms when Ryan glanced at him, a frown in his dark brows as he continued scrubbing his teeth leisurely, an arm behind his back.

 

Ryan held up a finger, turning on the faucet before he bent down, spitting the foam into the basin before rinsing his mouth and wiping it on the nearby towel, “What?”

 

“First you tell me you want an early night and you know I’m always up for it and then you take your sweet time getting there.” Frank pouted and Ryan smiled slightly.

 

“Well it wasn’t intentional.” Ryan walked into the bedroom and to their closet, turning to Frank, “But I haven’t changed my mind, sweetheart.”

 

“Thank god.” Frank muttered as he kicked off his shoes and bent down, pulling off his socks, stuffing them into his black trainers.

 

Frank unfastened his old white belt, leaving it in the loops of his jeans as he unfastened the faded charcoal denim and pushed them down, watching them pool to his ankles.

 

He bent down, picking his jeans up when he looked up at Ryan, who was standing there, biting on his lip.

 

“What?” Frank frowned and Ryan merely smiled again and bent down, pulling off his brown loafers and his socks with a small him, “Babe? What?”

 

“Stop asking so many questions.” Ryan straightened up and shrugged out of his flimsy white overtop, opening the closet and tossing the shirt into the laundry hamper.

 

Frank muttered softly under his breath as he unbuttoned his black shirt, watching Ryan tug on his many necklaces and leather tags, pulling them up over his head to put them away in the small box he had on his bedside table. Frank tugged at the cuffs of his shirt, unrolling the sleeves roughly before pulling the shirt off, bundling it up and chucking it into the hamper.

 

Ryan pulled his striped t-shirt off over his head and put it in the wash along with his burgundy jeans, his gaze now on Frank. Frank sucked in a breath as he pulled his white t-shirt off, dropping it on the ground before he walked up to Ryan, his hands on Ryan’s hips, squeezing softly.

 

“Frank?”

 

“What?” Frank frowned and Ryan bit his lip, his eyes glancing between boyfriend and floor and Frank closed his eyes, realising that Ryan was now eyeing the t-shirt he had cast on the ground and not in the basket, “You’re not serious.”

 

“Please?” Ryan eyed Frank uneasily and Frank sighed softly, nodding as he turned and walked back to his t-shirt, “And- And brush your teeth maybe?”

 

Frank put his shirt in the laundry hamper and turned to look at Ryan, who was now walking to his side of the bed, “Is my breath bad? I grabbed a mint from the bowl at the restaurant.”

 

“You need to brush your teeth every night, Frank.” Ryan stated and Frank shrugged and walked over to the bed, climbing onto it from the bottom, slipping between Ryan’s legs.

 

“Is that really what you want, babe?” Frank asked, hovering over Ryan, who looked up with wide, brown eyes.

 

“O- Oh…” Ryan breathed out breathlessly, “No.”

 

“That’s what I thought.” Frank muttered as he leaned down, his lips on Ryan’s in a tender kiss, his insides thrumming at the prospect of finally having sex with his boyfriend after a millennium. Frank scolded himself then, frowning as he deepened the kiss, his hands slowly running down over Ryan’s chest, pushing him back slightly.

 

“W- Wait.” Ryan whispered against Frank’s lips, making him whimper, his hands digging into Ryan’s hips, letting out a shaky breath.

 

“What, babe?” Frank asked softly and Ryan put his hands on Frank’s shoulders, turning them around so that Frank was facing away from the bed, making him frown.

 

“I uh- I wanna…” Ryan cleared his throat slightly, making Frank tilt his head to the side curiously.

 

“You wanna what?” Frank smiled, knowing it took a little coaxing for Ryan to say anything that constitutes lewd, and even then it wasn’t overly obscene for a normal person.

 

“I wanna try something different.” Ryan smiled and Frank felt his whole body suddenly freeze up and back track as though he had heard wrong, looking into Ryan’s eyes, seeing just how sheepish he had gone.

 

“What something?” Frank asked and Ryan bit his lip, clearing his throat as he gestured to the bed. Frank looked at Ryan, his heart thumping against his ribs like a caged cricket in a box, “You- You want me to go and lay down, babe?”

 

“No you…” Ryan went pink again, “Sit.”

 

“Wha? Right here?” Frank asked as he sat down on the end of the bed slowly, looking up at Ryan, who nodded.

 

“I’ll just…” Ryan wandered over to Frank’s bedside drawer, opening it to grab a condom and lube despite both he and Frank both being clean and tested, Ryan had a sense of paranoia when it came to sex.

 

And Frank was more than okay with it. Definitely more than okay. 

 

Ryan wandered back over, dropping the two items on the bed beside Frank, who sucked in a breath, leaning forward to place kisses to Ryan’s pale skin. He heard Ryan suck in a soft breath and he whimpered, his teeth raking over Ryan’s hip, nipping at the elastic of his briefs before he tugged on them.

 

Ryan’s hands clenched as Frank carefully pulled Ryan’s underwear down, letting the tight maroon material fall as his lips carried on, edging their way towards Ryan’s  dick, wrapping a hand around him.

 

Ryan managed a small ‘oh’ at the touch and Frank smirked to himself, his mouth now pressed against Ryan’s dick when the latter moved away. Frank frowned and looked up to see Ryan’s face uneasy.

 

“What?”

 

“Not that.” Ryan whispered and Frank nodded.

 

Of course, Frank felt so silly for forgetting that Ryan didn’t want a blowjob now, Ryan would want to kiss Frank and hated the thought of the two together. Sure, Ryan did like getting the occasional blowjob from Frank, and Frank for a fuck loved giving blowjobs but it was never the other way around.

 

Ryan was not a fan of giving head, having explained that Ryan’s head always reminded him that the dick he was about to put in his mouth had already been in his ass and he couldn’t stomach it no matter how many showers Frank took. Sure maybe to anyone else it sounded a bit selfish but Frank was giving and getting dick either way and it made him clam happy. 

 

Frank merely smiled at Ryan’s uneasy face, wrapping a hand around Ryan, stroking him slowly. 

 

“So is this something different that we’re on the end of the bed or what?” Frank asked and Ryan nodded, making Frank smile, mental noting that that was something new, not different, but he was certainly not about to nitpick with the promise of dick so close, “I have no complaints.”

 

“Lay down…” Ryan whispered and Frank obeyed, leaning back on his elbows, toes digging into the bedroom carpet as Ryan reached down and tucked his fingers into Frank’s boxers.

 

Frank lifted his hips up, watching Ryan slide his scratchy boxers down over his dick and down over his knees. Frank smirked as he held a hand out to Ryan, helping his boyfriend down on top of him, with Ryan sitting comfortably, straddling Frank’s thighs with his own.

 

“You want me to lay you down, babe?” Frank asked with a smile and Ryan let go of Frank’s hands and leaned down over him, their faces inches apart, Ryan’s thick curls casting a thick theatre curtain around their faces.

 

“No.” Ryan whispered and Frank frowned, “I want it like this.”

 

“Like-” Frank was cut off by a loud internal scream of realisation akin to that in a cartoon with mouth open wide and tongue outstretched like a party blower, “You want to be on top?”

 

“Is that okay?” Ryan asked and Frank nodded dumbly, his head up and downing like a bobble figure in Jeep.

 

Hell yes, it was more than okay. Frank hardly ever got to have Ryan on top, like one out of ten times at the most. And Frank only got Doggy-Style on his birthday, unless Ryan was drunk- which was an even lesser occurrence. 

 

Frank couldn’t even remember the last time they had had sex like this, I mean he could barely remember the last time they had had sex in general.

 

Not that it was any different from the other times. It was almost always the same thing of Ryan brushing his teeth, getting undressed and then they’d have sex on Frank’s side of the bed with Frank on top.

 

Oh but this was double different, this was at the foot of the bed, this was Ryan on top and this all had Frank completely thrown for a loop as Ryan leaned down, their lips latching in a tender but lengthy kiss.

 

One of Frank’s favourite things that he got from Ryan was the kisses, those were always in abundance whenever he wanted, doesn’t matter what either of them are doing. And Frank took full advantage of it, getting his fill of kisses whenever he could from Ryan. The kisses always had butterflies rear up in Frank’s stomach, always had his chest inflate, his heart skip, often times reminding him of the love they had in school. It was most likely the reason Frank loved them so much, because it reminded him of what was and it kept Frank going.

 

Frank thread his hand into Ryan’s curls, untying the autumn-coloured band he wore around his forehead, pulling it off carefully, tugging on Ryan’s hair in the process, hearing the latter moan softly.

 

Frank frowned at the sound, whimpering as he deepened the kiss, his tongue toying with Ryan’s as Frank lifted his hips up with a small and silent plea.

 

“Ry?” Frank asked softly and his boyfriend moved away, nibbling on Frank’s pierced lip, eliciting a moan as the tiny action had a sharp tingle effect in Frank’s stomach.

 

“Hmm?” Ryan replied, his hips pressed down against Frank’s slowly, making Frank groan and fall back down onto the bed from his wobbling elbows.

 

“Sin- Since we’re... Doing new things…” Frank swallowed, his breathing quicken in an almost pant, “I- Wouldya…”

 

Ryan stared at Frank with a small frown in his brows and Frank bit on his lip, tonguing at his lip ring before he ran it slightly on his bottom lip and looked down at his dick, lifting his hips up as a indication of what he wanted.

 

Ryan’s damn mouth is what he wanted. And he was hoping Ryan was in a pragmatic mood, hoping Ryan would throw caution to the wind and suck him off. Ryan looked down at Frank’s lap and back up before pursing his lips.

 

“Frank I- You know I don’t like it.” Ryan eyed Frank, “And besides… Your recent, uh… Addition to your body jewelry isn’t going to help.”

 

Frank bit his lip.

 

Perfect.

 

He looked down at the frenum piercing he had gotten about four months prior, looking down at the simple steel bar pierced through the skin on the underside of his dick. Frank looked up at Ryan again with a frown, “I didn’t know you hated it.”

 

“I don’t.” Ryan muttered, “I just don’t like.. Doing that. I know you know that.” Ryan sat up as he ran his hands over Frank’s chest.

 

“I just figured, I mean you’re doing something new…” Frank shrugged, running a hand down over Ryan’s dick slowly, “You sure you don’t want me to?”

 

“I don’t want your mouth on my dick, sweetheart.” Ryan smiled, his hips moving into Frank’s hand.

 

“And if I want to?”

 

“Why would you want to…” Ryan whispered, mortified and Frank put his hand on the back of Ryan’s neck, pulling him down, kissing him, cutting his tangent off before it began again. Ryan let out a small, protesting whimper but melted into the kiss, his tongue flitting in a way that had Frank moan out.

 

“Just…” Frank whispered, “Want you.” Frank breathed out as Ryan nodded, rolling his hips down as Frank lifted up, revelling in just how good it felt to have Ryan pressed naked against him.

 

Ryan pulled away and sat up, grabbing the foil packet from the bed before he frowned, tearing it open. He pulled the condom out and shuffled slowly down over Frank’s thighs.

 

Frank bit his lip, “You- Don’t you wanna prep first, babe?” 

 

“Hold your horses.” Ryan looked at Frank with a grin, “I know what I’m doing.”

 

“I’d rather you hold my horses instead.” Frank grinned back with Ryan giving him a mischievous glance from under his lashes.

 

“Don’t be disgusting.” 

 

“Right now is the perfect time to be disgusting.” Frank countered as Ryan wrapped a hand around Frank’s dick, stroking him slowly. Frank cried out at the touch, his head back on the bed, a hand gripping the side of the mattress in his fist, lifting his hips up.

 

Ryan sat back up on Frank and handed him the half-used bottle of lube with a smile, his cheeks flushed as Frank unscrewed the bottle, squirting some of the clear slick onto his fingers. He dropped the bottle beside him and Ryan eyed it.

 

“If you go and try and close it right now, I’m going in unprepped.” Frank stated sternly, eyeing Ryan, who pursed his lips a the bottle of lube before he leaned down, his lips on Frank’s neck. Frank sucked in a breath, whimpering as Ryan’s lips left a trail of hit kisses, the hair on Frank’s neck and arms raising up at the warmth.

 

Frank’s hand slid down over Ryan’s side, his fingers slowly pressing against Ryan’s entrance. Frank’s brows knitted together as he slipped a finger in slowly, groaning at the warmth and tightness.

 

Frank readjusted, his other hand knotted in Ryan’s chestnut curls as he slid his finger in and out, feeling Ryan’s hips pushing against him. Ryan let out a small moan as Frank carefully slipped in his second finger, twisting his hand as he pumped in and out deliberately, gradually stretching.

 

“Shit…” Ryan whispered softly, the gasp that left his voice only made Frank quicken, only made him pick up what he was doing, parting his fingers as he pushed them into Ryan over and over.

 

Ryan was moaning softly against the heated skin of Frank’s neck, his hips jerking against Frank’s hand. Frank looked at Ryan as he sat up, groaning at the changing in angle of Frank’s fingers inside of him. Ryan ran a hand over his forehead before he grabbed the condom and rolled it on Frank.

 

The feel of Ryan’s hand on him, a tight ring of fingers as Frank moaned, lifting his hips up to meet the warm touch. Frank wasn’t always a huge fan of condoms in any case, he said it always made everything artificial feeling, like there was a barrier between them. 

 

But Ryan always insisted and at first Frank was offended because why would he feel the need to, they had only ever been with each other and Frank felt as though Ryan didn’t trust him. It was later on when Ryan admitted it was more of a small fear to him of not using one in general and Frank made sure he’d get over himself.

 

And it was six years down the line now and he was definitely over it considering just how much he loved sex and how petty his latex issue seemed.

 

Frank let out a gasping breath, being pulled from his reverie as Ryan leaned over him, mouth on his as both hands lay in rest on the mattress on either side of Frank’s head. Frank’s hand had yet to stop it’s movements, had yet to stop fingering Ryan like an obscene rhythm Frank could keep up all day. 

 

Frank slowly pulled his fingers out and wiped them haphazardly on the bed before wrapping his hand around his dick, the other hand going to Ryan’s hip, lining him up.

 

Frank let out a whimper as he lifted his hips up a bit, feeling Ryan lower himself down, meeting Frank’s dick with a hard pressure. Frank couldn’t help the groan in his throat as his fingers dug into Ryan’s skin, pulling the latter down, feeling him sink.

 

“O- Oh fuck.” Frank moaned out, his head tilted back against the mattress, eyes squeezed shut as the warmth of Ryan’s insides wrapped around the head of his dick. Frank could feel the goosebumps rise up over his skin, his brain screaming out as all of him suddenly realised what was going on. He was finally… finally having sex again. Two weeks might not seem like a long time but for Frank it was fucking millenia.

 

Ryan froze for a moment, panting through his soft cherry lips, lips that Frank had been eyeing. His hand slid from Ryan’s hip to his jaw, gripping it as he kissed him heatedly, moaning into Ryan’s mouth as their tongues caressed. Frank could feel Ryan sit further down on him, sliding slick until his pale ass was flush with Frank’s upper thighs, the soft slap of skin on skin had them both moaning quietly against each other.

 

“Fuck.” Frank could feel small clenches of Ryan around him and every single minute tightening made him realise just how close to bursting he already was, how tightly wound he already had been, how knotted his insides had become in these two weeks and just how short it would be right now.

 

Ryan let out a small gasp. Running a hand through his curls as he sat up carefully and looked down at Frank, shuddering at the way Frank’s dick felt inside of him. Frank looked up at his boyfriend, his chest swelling a fraction as his heart thrummed like a metronome on acid in his chest, his skin sparking.

 

Ryan let out a small groan as his hips stirred, his fluid hips like a river, the motions from years of dancing that Frank could watch for hours. He stared at Ryan’s hips as the latter rocked back and forth.

 

Frank’s hands were on Ryan’s hips now, edging him on, trying to get him to go all the more faster. Frank bit on his bottom lip before parting them, managing to exhale a short breath as he lifted his hips, feet digging further into the rough carpet.

 

He looked up at Ryan, whimpering at just how gorgeous he looked in a wave of pleasure, his body writhing and his head back, perfect brows knitted.

 

“Shit.” Frank whispered brokenly, the already tight knots pulling from every angle under his skin, making his toes curl and his thighs shake.

 

And Frank realised how close he already was, how bad it would seem that they had just started and he was almost at tipping point. He couldn’t help his body’s reaction, he couldn’t help just how good it felt but he sure as hell could try and help holding himself off.

 

He dug his hands into Ryan’s hip bones, stilling him, feeling Ryan’ sit flush with him, rolling his hips in slow and grinding circles. Frank closed his eyes again, his hands reaching back to fist into Ryan’s hair on either side of his head. He held Ryan’s hands and tugged, pulling Ryan down against him, skin on skin. 

  
Frank felt his stomach churn at how good it felt to have Ryan inadvertently holding him down against the bed. The feeling of being pressed down into the bed by Ryan only made it worse, only added to Frank’s striking pleasured coil in his lower gut.

 

He let go, a hand on Ryan’s lower back, the other in his hair as they kissed again, lips coated in saliva, tongues fervent and pressing.

 

Frank frowned as he tried to hold off, pressing his hand down on Ryan before the other slid between them. Ryan let out a small mewl, one of the first sounds he had made yet, as Frank ran his palm over Ryan’s achingly hard dick.

 

Ryan making any noise was a rarity, and Frank also knew it had nothing to do with how well he was doing at pleasing him, Ryan wasn’t a vocaliser in bed, he just didn’t always make it known that way. Ryan would let Frank know in other ways, physical ways. Digging nails, lifted hips, furrowed brows and gritted teeth were the things that had Frank reeling.

 

And right now Frank had checked every box, hell, he had even surpassed them all with Ryan’s flustered cheeks and busy hands. Oh, Frank knew that fidgeting hands was Ryan’s way of telling Frank he was doing something way better than ‘good’. When Ryan would try and paw at every inch of Frank’s skin, knead and dig and caress as quickly as possible Frank could almost see the top of Ryan’s head blow off.

 

Frank let out a whimper as Ryan lifted himself up a bit more, hands fisted in the sheets as Frank wrapped his hand around Ryan’s dick and stroked him off quickly.

 

Ryan let out a shaky breath, biceps trembling as his hips stuttered, riding him slowly and deliberately, taking in every inch over and over.

 

Frank ran his hand down Ryan’s dick and back up, thumbing at the slit, his hand slick with dripping precome. Frank let out a moan, looking up into Ryan’s eyes, looking into blown out pupils that had him realising another new thing.

 

The lights were on.

 

Frank took Ryan in again as though not believing he could properly make out his boyfriend on top of him.

 

Ryan had left the lights on. Was it on purpose? An accident? Did Ryan just get so caught up in Frank that he didn’t even realise the lights were on? Did he know and do it on purpose, another semi-new thing to add to the already fresh melange of things Ryan had bombarded Frank with.

 

“Ry- Wait…” Frank groaned out, letting out a small panted breath as he ran his hand from Ryan’s dick all the way up his stomach and chest to hold his shoulder, “Fuck.”

 

Ryan let out a small and breathy whimper in reply and lifted himself up before sliding back down, the sudden motion had Frank crying out and lifting his hips, mouth in a parted ‘o’ as Ryan carried on.

 

Ryan wasn’t listening to Frank this time, disregarding that Frank was trying to get him to slow down, trying to savour their intimacy just in case it would be another who-knows-how-long celibacy stint before they’re together again.

 

Not this time. 

 

Ryan carried on, picking up his pace by only a fraction, his hand on Frank’s knees behind him, squeezing, holding himself up shakily as the other hand was now entwined with Frank’s.

 

“Ry- Baby I- I’m…” Frank groaned out, now on his tippy-toes on the carpet for leverage, threatening to cramp up, his hips lifted up again as his body climbed evermore higher towards its peak.

 

Ryan let out a small moan, his body jerking when Frank moved, obviously hitting the right spot. Frank frowned in concentration, feeling a light sheen of sweat on his skin as he did his best to hold off for more than five minutes.

 

God, he had hoped it had been longer than that. Surely it was. Their usual sex sessions lasted a half an hour minus foreplay and Frank wished he’d at least be nearing that mark.

 

He didn’t want to disappoint and give Ryan all the more reason to hold off again. No, definitely not. 

 

Frank let out a shaky breath, a high pitched keening in his throat as he closed his eyes again, white and blue creeping into the edges of his vision as he squeezed.

 

All he could focus on was Ryan, all of Ryan, every single sinew and pore and every movement as he bounced more gracefully than a normal human should in the throes of passion. 

 

Frank felt his skin all but cave in over his body before the rest of him exploded in heated waves of an intense orgasm. He moaned out in short bursts, coming heavily as he held on to Ryan, pushing and pulling the latter up and down on his dick, riding out his orgasm as he lifted his body up.

 

He panted loudly, whining as the coils of static shot through his body like scurrying mice in his veins. Frank trembled as he felt Ryan riding and grinding down on him, his far-too-short orgasm already worked it's way into overstimulation.

 

He let out a whimper as he pulled Ryan down, rolling him onto the bed. Ryan let out a grunt and a small whimper, biting his lip as Frank fumbled with the condom, tugging it off and chucking it aside. Frank’s lips were on Ryan’s in an instant, sighing out at the cool air on his dick, moaning as he ran his hand over Ryan’s hip.

 

“Babe?” Frank whispered and Ryan looked at him, “I… I really wanna suck you off.”

 

Ryan bit his lip, “Frank, sweetheart.”

 

“Please…” Frank swallowed softly and Ryan pulled him closer, licking his bottom lip before kissing him, “Taking that as a no.”

 

Frank held himself up over Ryan, hovering as he attacked Ryan’s neck in kisses, the feel of Ryan’s lips on his had his thoughts flying from his skull in an instant, his free hand wrapping around Ryan’s dick. Ryan gasped out quietly, lifting his hips up as a hand gripped the sheets and the other dug itself into Frank’s bicep.

 

Frank opened his eyes, splattering wet kisses to Ryan’s face as he pumped him quickly, tugging on Ryan’s bottom lip with his teeth. Frank tightened his grip, stroking a ring around Ryan’s dick with two fingers as the other three ran down over Ryan’s balls, fondling slowly in a way he knew Ryan liked.

 

Ryan bit down on his lip, his hand pawing at Frank’s arm, raking perfectly cut nails over his inked skin. Frank’s fingers slid down, teasing at Ryan’s slick asshole, humming to himself at just how good he knew it was.

 

Ryan’s grip moved to Frank’s shoulder as Frank’s own hand wrapped itself around Ryan’s dick again, stroking him with a stubborn amount of ardor, wanting so badly to see Ryan coming undone.

 

And he didn’t have to wait much longer, he could tell when Ryan was close, his body would tremble as though he was being wound up like a toy. Ryan’s toes curled, his back arched, his head back into the mattress, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down under his alabaster skin.

 

Frank’s other arm adjusted as he moved, hovering over Ryan, pressing his lips to Ryan’s forehead as he tilted his arm, pumping at a different speed.

 

Frank’s arm was taut and cramping as he jerked Ryan off, knowing he wasn’t about to stop with Ryan so close. 

 

Ryan let out a small sob-sounding whimper as he came, lips rolled between his teeth as he panted through his nose, both hands now kneading and pawing at Frank and himself and the sheets. Frank glanced down, watching Ryan’s body jerk and spasm as he came on himself in warm white spurts.

 

Frank let out a groan, kissing Ryan roughly, tongue invading his mouth as he stroked him out through his wave of ecstasy.

 

Ryan wrapped a hand around Frank, stopping him as his body lurched slightly. Frank let go, wiping his hand on the bedspread as he looked down at Ryan, lowering himself down onto the bed.

 

Ryan smiled at Frank as the latter reached out to hold him, but Ryan was already sitting up, a small rat’s nest in his curls at the back of his hair from his head moving back and forth on the bed.

 

Frank frowned as Ryan got up and grabbed the condom, tying it before he chucked it in the bin and walked across to the en-suite bathroom. Frank turned onto his other side and looked at Ryan, who was wiping himself off with a wet wipe.

 

Frank raised an eyebrow, “Where’d you go?” he croaked, his voice cracking after the prolonged silence.

 

“Here.” Ryan replied dryly as he looked himself in the mirror and grabbed his toothbrush and the tube of toothpaste from the cabinet.

 

“Again?” Frank frowned and Ryan nodded as he squeezed a blob onto the white bristles, running it under the faucet before he began brushing his teeth yet again.

 

Frank watched him, smiling slightly with his legs still somewhat off of the bed, arm under his head as Ryan bent down to spit. Frank swallowed at the sight, cursing his perverted brain for making something as simple as toothpaste a turn on.

 

Ryan straightened up, wiping his mouth and stowing his brush away, “You should brush your teeth too.”

 

“I’m comfy…” Frank replied and Ryan put his hands on his hips expectantly, making Frank groan and roll off of the bed, trying to hide his smile under a facade of annoyance.

 

He padded into the bathroom and grabbed his own toothbrush, setting it up with the blue minty paste before he began brushing his teeth.

 

He looked at Ryan in the mirror, looking at the satisfied smile on his boyfriend’s face. Frank rolled his eyes as Ryan leaned in, resting his head on Frank’s shoulder, eyes closed in contentment.

 

Frank moved, wrapping an arm around Ryan, giving his ass a squeeze, hearing Ryan yelp softly and jerk away at the sudden touch, a shy smile on his face as Frank grinned around his toothbrush.

 

“That was different…” Ryan commented as Frank bent down to spit, nodding as he rinsed his mouth out with water.

 

“You bet.” Frank replied as he stood up, wiping his mouth on the hand towel at his side.

 

“It’s a nice change once in awhile, right?” Ryan asked and Frank nodded eagerly, watching as Ryan waltzed passed him into the bedroom again. Frank peered at Ryan with a smirk eyes on his ass before he reminded himself to follow.

 

“We cuddle now, right?” Frank asked as Ryan pulled down his side of the bed and went to grab his pajamas.

 

“Want to cuddle?”

 

“When don’t I?” Frank asked as he climbed into the bed fully naked, watching Ryan get dressed into his plaid pajama bottoms and one of Frank’s old and paint-covered band t-shirts.

 

Ryan walked back to the bed and climbed in, curling up under the sheets, head on Frank’s chest as the latter wrapped an arm around him, squeezing him close.

 

“You should work on your interview soon.” Ryan muttered and Frank merely nodded, grabbing the TV remote from his bedside table.

 

“Don’t you worry about that now. Just love me.”


	4. Chapter 3: A Little Less Vanilla, A Little More Aerated Cream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to mention what I usually (btw this is one of my favourite early chapters of this story)
> 
> Any errors, apologies, but we think we got them all :)

“Can I help you at all?”

 

Frank honestly hadn't realised that he had been standing for so long. What he was doing should have really been the simplest task known to man. About half an hour before he left work, he got a text from Ryan, asking him to pick up some milk. That was it. They had run out, and as much as Frank hadn't wanted to run to the local store on his way home from work, he knew he had to. Especially if he wanted to drink coffee over the weekend.

 

The task of picking up milk was a dull one. It made Frank question where his life had gone and decided to take a massive detour. Never did he think that at the age of twenty two, he would be doing menial tasks like this after finishing work, picking up basics to take home to his long term Ryan. He assumed that at the age of twenty two, his Friday nights would at least be a little more exciting, but they weren't and now, Frank was having a moment in the store, stood in the middle of the dairy aisle where the store assistant had found him.

 

For a second he really forgot where he was. In his own little world, Frank was still reeling from what had happened on Tuesday night. Still riding the crest of a high, feeling like there was some sort of change happening. Ryan had been different. Ryan had mixed it up to the point that Frank hadn’t really been able to wipe the near permanent smirk of a smile away from his face. Since Tuesday, it had really knocked Frank for six. Ryan had technically been so  _ adventurous,  _ choosing to go completely the other way with what they usually did.

 

As much as Frank liked sex, he did find it quite dull when he was always on top. Always on his side of the bed. Always the one doing all the work for the two of them.

 

Not that he minded. Sex was sex at the end of the day, but the fact that Ryan had actually gone and mixed it up for once, especially on a day that was not Frank's birthday, well, Frank wondered if there was a silver lining to all of this. Was Ryan changing? Was he trying to mix it up because he had probably figured out that Frank was bored of the same missionary sex on one side of the bed when it did actually happen?

 

God how Frank hoped, hoped to the point that he had lost himself in the middle of the dairy aisle when something caught his eye. Something that he wondered if he should get because, well, he liked to think of himself as a pretty adventurous kind of guy. He had a head full of ideas. Yes, they were ideas that he didn’t voice because he knew that Ryan would probably find Franks  _ ideas  _ horrifying and perverted, but still, Tuesday night had had Frank thinking and wondering and hoping that changes were afoot and maybe Ryan was trying to put the spark back into their relationship.

 

The same way Frank was, thinking, stood in the middle of the dairy aisle at nearly six in the evening, unaware of the fact that he had been stood still for so long that the store assistant had come over to make sure that he was okay. 

 

Frank hadn’t realised that he had been stood for so long, staring at the shelving with the cans of whipped cream on them. He had seen them and with how he had been riding on a post sex high for the past few days, Frank had thought and had put together this idea in his head that Ryan might have been up for something like that. Spicing up their sex life with something that they had never done before. Food and sex. The idea of it had turned into something great in Frank's head, but still he snapped out of it when he heard the question that had been thrown at him from the woman who was now stood next to him, waiting to find out if he did in fact need any assistance.

 

A young man stood in the middle of the aisle, looking somewhat confused, frowning at the shelving in front of him. Yeah, she wondered if he was in fact okay. 

 

“Uh,” Frank stuttered out, trying not to blush because right now his mind was awash with impure thoughts that the store assistant really didn’t need to know about. He blinked at her, wondering what the fuck he was going to say. He was okay? Of course he was okay, but at the same time, his mind did a number on him, wondering if he really was currently thinking about his sub par sex life in the middle of the store. Could the sales assistant really help him? That probably would have been weird, especially seeing as Frank had been wondering if Ryan would let him use a can of whipped cream on him in bed, “I- I think I’m good.”

 

“You sure?” The assistant asked, making sure, making Frank wish that he hadn’t been away in his head for far too long in front of the thing that had caught his attention.

 

“I’m good, honestly.” Frank smiled nervously at the assistant, ignoring the way she was watching him, chewing gum with hair scraped back into a bun, purple lipstick smiling right back at him, making him more nervous while he reached out and grabbed a can. He stuffed it under his arm, trying to hide the blush that had formed on his face before he walked off, thankful that no one could read his mind or even figure out why he had just gone and picked up the can.

 

It was probably a stupid idea, but Frank was more than up for giving it a go, especially if Ryan was beginning to be more adventurous in the bedroom. Frank would have bought out the whole store of whipped cream if he thought that Ryan was up for it. One would have to do for now though as Frank made his way up to the front, putting down what he was going to buy in front of the cashier. 

 

The milk and the whipped cream. It really did look like Frank was in for a fun night, or at least that was what he was thinking that the person who was serving him was thinking. Making him want to not make eye contact as he grabbed his wallet out and handed over the money quickly, bagging up his two items before departing the store swiftly.

 

And even though it had only been the one other item he had bought, the one thing that had stalled him in the store, the whipped cream that really, Frank was glad that he hadn’t made eye contact with the cashier because god he knew why he was buying it so he didn’t want the person charging him knowing why he was buying it, he found it somewhat exhilarating. From the moment he had lay eyes on it, he had thought and he had hoped to the point that he just went and did it. It wasn’t so obvious, like he had picked up a box of condoms so it was clear why he was buying them. It was more secretive and he knew. Only he knew and something about the whole buying process, even though he wished that the store assistant hadn’t asked him if he was okay, made it much more exciting because it was his thing and nobody else knew exactly what he was going to be doing with said whipped cream when he got home and had Ryan all to himself.

 

That was if Ryan was up for it. Frank hoped he was, really hoped he was as he got back into his car, putting his shopping on the passenger seat. Frank wondered how he could bring it up as he started the car, pulling out of the parking space before driving off. He knew that he couldn’t just surprise Ryan with it. Ryan wasn’t exactly one for surprises, even though this was going to be a surprise no matter how Frank approached it. It hadn’t been discussed. It wasn’t exactly like Ryan had texted him earlier, saying  _ buy some whipped cream so you can eat it off my body.  _ Hell, Frank was more than up for it, but Ryan, he just hoped that Ryan was going to be alright with it. A little more adventurous with it. Just not his usual self when it came to sex. 

 

A little less vanilla. That was what Frank was hoping for. 

 

He hoped so much as he drove home, thinking of how Ryan was going to take the idea of what Frank had gone and bought. Frank honestly had no idea how Ryan was going to take it. The worst thing was that he probably wouldn’t be okay with it, food was food and it should never be mixed with such an intimate thing like sex, but he was hopeful. If Ryan was broadening his horizons with sex, then maybe he would be okay with it. That was what Frank kept telling himself, even as he pulled the car up into their driveway, killing the engine, wishing himself luck because he didn’t know. He hoped that he wasn’t going to need luck to have Ryan wanting to try it out with him. Even try it out now. Yes, it wasn’t Tuesday and it definitely wasn’t his birthday, but Frank hoped that if Ryan was looking to mix it up, then maybe he would be up for mixing it up right now. Frank was more than up for it. Even giddy over the idea of it while he grabbed the bag from the passenger seat, leaving the car to go into the house and greet Ryan.

 

“Hey,” Frank called out as he entered the house, dropping his keys into the bowl, shutting the door behind him, “I’m home.”

 

“Hi,” Frank heard from the kitchen. Ryan was there, stood by the counter when Frank entered the room, smiling back at Ryan while he dropped the small bag of shopping onto the table, going over to kiss him on the cheek, “You took your time.”   
  
Frank frowned at that, “What do you mean I took my time?”   
  
Frank knew he had taken longer than usual. Picking up a bottle of milk from the store was a simple task. Take a few minutes before he was back on his way home. Ryan had clearly picked up on it and Frank didn’t know whether to drop the bomb on what he had gone and done already. Probably not a good idea to go and admit that he had gone and taken his time because he had something else in the bag that he wanted to do with Ryan. Too soon and he probably would have freaked. Or just thought that Frank always had sex on the brain.

 

Which was kind of true, but of course he wouldn’t admit that to Ryan right now.

 

“Thought you would have been back sooner,” Ryan commented quickly, noticing how it had taken Frank longer than he assumed he would to get the one thing that he had texted him to get, “It’s gone six.”   
  
“So?” Frank shrugged, “There were queues.”   
  
“Okay,” Ryan nodded, buying that, still not knowing what else was in the bag, other than the milk which Frank went to grab, putting it in the fridge while his other hand held tightly onto the bag, concealing what was still in there, “Good day at work?”   
  
“Yeah,” Frank breathed out his answer, really not caring about talking about work right now. Yes it had been a good day and yes Frank was glad that another week was over, but his mind was really on one track right now and that track really didn’t involve talking about work. More talking about what Frank had in the bag and exactly what he wanted to do with it and Ryan, “S’good day.”

 

“Good,” Ryan smiled, fighting back the urge to beam at him because he had something to tell Frank. Something that he had done, but patience. As much as Ryan knew that Frank would be happy with what he was going to tell him, he knew that he couldn’t just come out with it as soon as Frank walked through the door. Instantly blab over the fact that he had been on the phone today, talking to Brendon, trying to work something out that would help Frank with what he had been given to do at work, “Glad you had a good day.”

 

Frank could sense that something was going on with Ryan. He quirked an eyebrow at him, trying to figure out why he seemed in such a chipper mood. He hadn’t instantly gone for the  _ now I’m going to talk about work now because I’ve asked you about your day  _ thing that he usually did. Ryan didn’t even breathe a word. He just smiled at Frank and that made him curious. More curious about what was going on with Ryan than he was over the idea of trying to find out if he was up for sex as soon as possible.

 

“What?” Frank asked curiously, hoping that Ryan would spill on why he looked so enthusiastic and excited right now.

 

“What?” Ryan mimicked, still smirking, folding his arms across his chest, hoping that Frank couldn’t figure him out. He would just have to be patient. Ryan even thought about telling Frank the good news over dinner, but could Ryan really wait that long to tell him that he had bagged him an interview?

 

“You just look…” Frank started, trying to find the right words in his head to say to Ryan, try and work him out, but all that was on Franks mind was Ryan, but not in the same way. In more of a  _ just see if he is up for what you’ve got in the bag _ kind of way. More of a  _ lets have sex right now  _ way. Frank brushed it aside for a moment, hand still holding onto the bag which he was attempting to hide by his side, changing the subject because if Ryan wasn’t going to spill, then Frank was more than up for spilling, in more ways than one, “It doesn’t matter. I uh, I got something from the store…”

 

“Oh?” Ryan said curiously, noticing how Frank was still holding the bag that he had got the milk from, “What did you get? We didn’t need anything else.”

 

“I know,” Frank said, feeling himself getting nervous, but he had to do it. He had to give it a shot because if he didn’t, then what would happen? Even if Ryan was up for being more adventurous then good. But if Tuesday night had just been a moment in time that was never to be repeated again, then Frank had to at least give this a shot. Test the water, really test the water because the idea of having Ryan right now was more than good in Frank's head. Especially if Ryan was up for what he was still hiding, “I’ve got something to show you that...I thought we could do…”

 

“Hang on,” Ryan stopped Frank, knowing that he couldn’t wait any longer. He had planned to tell Frank the good news later, but he was far too excited about it to hold it in. Frank would have to wait a second, “I was going to tell you later, but I can’t wait any longer.”   
  
Ryan clearly was excited, Frank could tell. It wasn’t like Ryan to interrupt, so he just nodded at him, giving him the go ahead to say his bit first. Franks thing could wait. Not much longer, but hopefully Ryan wasn’t going to ramble for too long or Frank was just going to have to cut in and cut to the chase sooner rather than later.

 

“So I spoke to Brendon today,” Ryan started, practically smiling from ear to ear while he carried on, “I told him what you had told me. He then went and passed it on and...Frank, I got you an interview.”

 

“Are you serious?” Frank stuttered out, not quite believing that Ryan had actually done it. He had struggled at work, trying to think of anyone and actually finding someone who was willing to spend a short amount of time talking to him. Frank had hoped that he wasn’t going to fail. He had wanted to prove himself and now, well, he was over the moon about it.

 

“Yeah,” Ryan nodded quickly, “So I got you an interview with Gerard Way. He’s gonna let Brendon know when he’s free and then he will let me know and then, yeah, you go and do your thing with him.”

 

“That’s fantastic,” Frank smiled, not quite believing that it was happening, but it was. He wanted to thank Ryan in some way. Thank this Brendon guy too for setting it up, but thank him in a different way. Not the same way that Frank was thinking about with Ryan, “So uh...my thing.”   
  
“Yes?”

 

“I got something at the store…” Frank repeated, pulling the bag into view, digging his hand in. So nervous now. He didn’t get why he was nervous. He had been more than up for it. Still up for it, up for anything right now. It was just the idea of Ryan rejecting what he was about to show him. That was what made Frank nervous because he didn’t want Ryan just to say no from the word go. See it and hate the idea instantly. He still pulled the can of whipped cream out of the bag, holding it, showing it to Ryan because hopefully he wouldn’t have to say how he wanted to use it. Ryan should have got what he wanted to do with it, especially with the way Frank was eyeing him up.

 

Not that Ryan got it. He looked confused, looking at the can before looking at Frank, frowning, trying to figure out why in the world Frank had gone and bought that at the store, “So like...are we making a dessert or something?”

 

“I guess you could call it that, yeah.” Frank chuckled, knowing that Ryan hadn’t got it straight away, but with the way Frank's head was right now, he would have happily have had dessert before his dinner. Especially if his dessert was Ryan and the can of whipped cream.

 

“But,” Ryan stopped for a second, “We haven’t even had dinner yet.”

 

“Let's skip dinner.” Frank said, taking a step closer to Ryan, hoping that he was getting the jist of what he was saying.

 

Ryan wasn’t, but when he went to protest, about to say that he was going to cook, Frank stopped him with a hand on his hip, pushing him against the counter as lips locked and Frank kissed him. He sighed into the kiss, setting the can down on the counter so he had another free hand, deepening the kiss, his free hand getting into Ryans hair. Frank pressed himself against Ryan, groaning into the kiss when Ryan softened up a little bit. One hand rested on Frank's arm, the other gripping the counter he was leaning against. He got why Frank was all up for dessert now. Dessert being sex as Ryans breathing faltered when Frank rubbed up against him, rubbing him in just the right way that he knew would make Ryan melt.

 

This was was a first. Unscheduled sex. This really hadn’t happened in god knows how long, but Ryan seemed up for it. Frank felt giddy over the idea of Ryan actually being up for it right now. His teeth grazed Franks bottom lip and Frank felt like this was actually about to happen. Right now. Hell, he knew that he would even have Ryan on the counter if he could. Fuck going upstairs, here would do just as good, if not better because it meant that it wouldn’t be the same regimented sex that would always happen on Franks side of the bed.

 

But Ryan pushed Frank away for a second, catching his breath back, flushed from the impromptu moment of passion that Frank had started. His hand rested on Franks chest, holding him back, pausing him before Ryan said two words that made Frank feel like he was internally collapsing.

 

“Not yet.”

 

“Really?” Frank asked, annoyed, wondering why in the world Ryan had just gone with him then. He seemed so up for it, so into it when Frank had had him up against the counter. But now he had just brushed him away, moving from where Frank had had him pinned, going about his business like Frank hadn’t just been wanting him and he hadn’t just been a complete prick tease, “Are you being serious? Not yet?”

 

“But I haven’t done the dishes yet,” Ryan commented, making Frank wonder why he thought that that was more important than them getting intimate, “We haven’t had dinner yet-”   
  
“So?” Frank shot back, not quite believing that Ryan was actually putting a stop to them because he hadn’t done a few tasks around the house, “Mix it up a little.”

 

“But I have stuff to do before we do anything like that.” Ryan pointed out.

 

“Fine,” Frank threw his hands up in the air, giving in because he knew that if he begged then it wasn’t going to get him anywhere. When Ryan was adamant that it wasn’t happening, it really wasn’t and Frank would just be left feeling bad because he had begged and really, no person in a long term relationship should have to beg for sex. Or even in a relationship that was new, never should a person have to beg for their partner to have sex with them. But then again, those relationships didn’t involve Ryan so it probably was different. Different because whoever was in the relationship probably hadn’t been started up to be knocked down, pushed away and left wondering if there was even going to be sex on the cards, “Just, whatever. Do what you’ve got to do.”

 

“That’s not me saying no,” Ryan felt the need to tell Frank because he looked annoyed that they had stopped and even though Ryan was one for routine and Tuesday nights were usually the nights when they did do anything, he wasn’t pushing Frank away completely, “Just...later.”

 

“Really?” Frank stuttered out, surprised that Ryan was coming across as being up for it. Unscheduled sex was usually a no for him, but he nodded at Frank, making the pissed off and hard up mood just wash away from him.

Later could not come sooner for Frank. He knew it wouldn’t be long until Ryan said that he was ready to go to bed, but until then, Frank just waited as patiently as possible, still hoping that Ryan would be up for the one thing that he had ended up putting away, waiting until  _ later  _ to try again with it.

 

\---

 

Ryan was sat up in bed, reading. It had been at least ten minutes since he had got ready for bed, teeth cleaned, showered, ready for sleep, but he remembered what he had said to Frank earlier. Frank was nowhere to be seen at the moment. He had said that he would be with him in a minute, getting ready for bed himself. He had changed, throwing his dirty clothes in the hamper, brushing his teeth, getting ready for bed, but he had disappeared five minutes before, saying that he would be back. 

 

Ryan had no idea what he was up to. He knew that Frank knew what was still on the cards for tonight. He hadn’t changed his mind, which was unusual. Sex that wasn’t planned wasn’t usually something that Ryan wanted. He liked to know and prepare himself. The thing was though, even though it wasn’t date night, he still wanted it. The way Frank had kissed him in the kitchen, it lingered with Ryan and yes, he was more than okay for them to do it, he just had no idea where Frank was right now. He had disappeared and now Ryan was just beyond curious as to why Frank was taking so long. For someone who was desperate for sex earlier, he was certainly taking his time to get into bed so that they could get started.

 

Ryan sighed, turning over another page in his book. He wasn’t really reading it now, more looking over at the alarm clock on his side of the bed, wondering if he should go and find Frank, find out what he was doing that was taking him so long to come to bed. Ryan had even considered calling out at one point, but he didn’t. Instead he just waited, sat up in bed, looking towards the bedroom door every now and again, listening out to see if he could figure out where Frank was in the house.

 

Must’ve gone downstairs, Ryan thought. He couldn’t hear him padding around upstairs. God knows why he had gone back downstairs, Ryan had no idea, unless he was up to something, but that made him realise that there wasn’t really anything downstairs that Frank would be up to. He was just taking his time, taking far too much time until Ryan heard the sound of footsteps on the stairs.

 

“Are you coming to bed?” Ryan called out when he realised that Frank was now upstairs. He appeared at the bedroom door moments later, smiling when he saw Ryan sat up, folding over the corner of the page he was on in his book, closing it before setting it down on his bedside table.

 

“I’m coming don’t worry,” Frank told him, walking over to his side of the bed, sitting down before he set down what he had gone downstairs to bring up. What Ryan hadn’t noticed that he was holding close to his thigh. The can of whipped cream. Frank placed it on the floor just for a moment, just in case Ryan had some sort of freak out over the idea of food being in the bed, “At least I hope I’m gonna be coming.”

 

“You are disgusting,” Ryan screwed up his nose at Frank, ignoring the way he giggled as he got into bed, sliding under the covers while Ryan switched his bedside light off, plunging them both into near darkness. The only light coming from the glow in the still half open bathroom door, “Do you have to say crude stuff like that?”   
  
“What?” Frank shrugged like he hadn’t done anything wrong, “I’m just fooling around...like I hope we still will be.”

 

“You’re insatiable,” Ryan shook his head, “Is that all you think about?”   
  
“Not all the time, no,” Frank admitted, even though he knew that with how sparse the sex was when it came to them, he did end up thinking about it a lot. Wanting it. Missing it. Wishing that Ryan would just have a bit more of a drive like he did, “So...are you saying no now?”   
  
Frank hoped that Ryan hadn’t changed his mind. It had been something that had played on his mind for most of the evening, looking forward to it because sex twice in one week, it was like a miracle to Frank.

 

“What do you think?” Ryan looked at Frank, giving him a look that was enough to be the answer that he wanted. Frank smiled at that, twisting in the bed slightly, looking right at him before sliding a hand onto his cheek, pulling him closer. So close until lips met and Frank felt Ryan melt into the kiss.

 

Frank adjusted on the bed, pulling himself even closer to Ryan, sliding his other hand around him, resting it on the small of his back. His hand slipped under the fabric, wanting rid of the item of clothing. Ryan got the hint though, moving along with Frank, fingers going for the buttons on his night shirt. Their kiss broke for a second. Frank tugged his t-shirt over his head, pulling it off as quickly as possible, not caring about where it landed on the floor when he threw it to one side.

 

Ryan however was a little more careful with his shirt. Frank groaned when he went to fold his shirt up. Right now was really not a time for worrying about folding a shirt up.

 

“Are you being serious?” Frank question, “Just put it on the floor.”   
  
“But I’m going to put it back on.”

 

Frank wasn’t having it though. Ryan missed the eye roll that Frank did before he grabbed the shirt, tossing it to the floor. He went to protest, even considering picking it up and tidying it away before anything else, but Frank had other things on his mind that were far more important than a crumpled shirt that was now on the floor. Like stopping Ryan from complaining about the shirt on the floor by kissing him. Stopping his train of thought about the shirt completely by the way Frank moved on the bed, shifting under the duvet to get on top of him.

 

Ryan whimpered as the weight of Frank pressed down against him, reacting to the way Frank rolled his hips down against him. The friction making heat bubble in the pit of his stomach, his hands holding onto Frank's back, nails digging into skin, scratching, the small action making Frank groan into the kiss, needing this. Needing him right now.

 

Frank propped himself up, looking down at Ryan, taking him in in the low light that was coming from the bathroom. The room was practically dark, not like a few nights before when he had left the light on. God how Frank had wished that he would leave the light on again, but he hadn’t and right now, he really wasn’t going to be fussy about the room being lit up while he was propped up over Ryan, rolling his hips against him, watching the way he was reacting.

 

He really did look beautiful in the low glow that was coming from the adjoining room. The way he looked, with his bottom lip pinched between his teeth, the way his hands were gripping onto him, holding him tightly, the way his eyes fluttered shut and his brow furrowed as he let out a breath of a moan. Frank took him in for another moment, licking at his bottom lip, needing him more than anything right now. The burning want in the pit of his stomach was growing more, his erection aching, still in his pyjama pants, pressing against Ryan's own growing erection. Fabric separating them, but the friction only making the coil of pleasure in Frank's gut burn hotter. Need taking over everything else that was in his head right now.

 

Frank leant down, kissing Ryan once more, teeth grazing lip, making his breathing falter underneath Frank. He leant up again then, shifting slightly, reaching over to the bedside drawers, grabbing a condom and the lube, dropping them onto the bed sheets before nuzzling at Ryan's neck, leaving open, wet kisses on his skin. Sucking on the pale spot under his jaw. Frank smiled against his neck when Ryan's hips stuttered against him, a small oh’ left his lips, only making Frank lick and suck at his neck more. Working him up more, hoping that in the utmost heat of the moment, he would be up for what Frank had on his mind.

 

That was when he sat up, leaving Ryan splayed out on the bed beneath him, his legs wrapped around Frank loosely. His chest rose and fell while Frank's eyes wandered over him, taking him in with a hunger in him, his hands going for the elastic on his pants, pulling them down, finally freeing himself before Ryan shifted on the bed, removing his own pyjama pants in the process. The idea sat right at the front of Frank's mind. The spice to add to their sex life while Ryan shifted on the bed, getting into his usual spot on Frank’s side, running a hand through his hair before he tossed the lube to Frank. He didn’t catch it, letting the bottle hit the bedding because Frank was toying with how he was going to bring it up. Like a new kind of foreplay. If Ryan didn’t like the idea of oral then maybe he would have been up for this. Maybe, especially if he had been more adventurous lately, he would be open to the idea as Frank moved on the bed, getting between Ryan's legs, smiling at him with pure lust in his eyes.

 

“I wanna try something…” Frank put it out there, holding his breath while he waited to see if Ryan would react to the news that now he wanted to try something. Ryan had been that person the other night, it was Frank's turn now and he honestly didn’t know if he would be up for it. In Frank's head he was more than up for it, handing him the can himself before he told him to do what he wanted to do with him, but this was Ryan and this was real life and even Frank could see the wary look in his eyes, watching him, chewing on his bottom lip.

 

“Yeah?” Ryan asked, his voice mixed with curiosity and nerves. Frank could sense that, even when he wrapped a hand around him, making a shaky breath leave him. Frank knew he was relying on Ryan wanting to be up for it because it was all in the heat of the moment. God he hoped that he wanted to try it. Mix it up a little bit more. Be more adventurous, just be the boyfriend that Frank wanted to eat cream off his body. It seemed so perfect and dirty in his head that that was all he could think about right now, hoping that Ryan would say yes just so he could do it, “What’s that?”   
  
Frank honestly felt nervous about admitting it. This was still a new thing. Definitely a new thing for the bedroom and as much as he wanted to do it, he also couldn’t help the butterflies in his stomach because what if Ryan said no? What if he shot him down like he always would do for blow jobs. Or even like the time Frank wanted to go down on him and eat him out. Ryan had been completely disgusted about the idea of it, not understanding why Frank would even want to put his mouth there. Frank had wanted to because why the hell not? Ryan however had nixed the idea completely, making sure that Frank knew that he was never going to be up for something like that, ever.

 

Frank just hoped that the same thing wouldn’t happen again as he leant down, his hand searching in the dark on his side of the bed, fumbling for a moment before he found what he had brought upstairs, bringing it into view for Ryan to see.

 

Ryan frowned when he saw Frank holding the can of cream in his hand. He didn’t put two and two together, figuring out that Frank would want to use it while they had sex. He just looked at the can before looking back at Frank, still frowning, not understanding why he was chewing on his smile nervously.

 

“Wh-” Ryan started before words failed him. He was so confused. Frank had said about making dessert. He knew that Frank knew that he didn’t like it when he ate in bed. Food was to be eaten in the kitchen, not in the bedroom right before they were about to be intimate and then eventually go to sleep. What if he got it all over the bedsheets? Ryan knew that he had only just changed the bedding a few days before, there was no way he was going to let Frank make a mess, forcing him to have to change the bedding again before it was time, “Why did you bring that upstairs?”   
  
“Isn’t it obvious?” Frank spoke, trying to nudge Ryan towards why he had brought it upstairs. He didn’t want to have to spell it out. It really should have been obvious as to why he had brought it upstairs and had brought it out right when they were about to have sex. But this was Ryan he was throwing the question to and he still looked at Frank oh so confused, his mouth opening to say something before he closed it again, trying to figure out why in the world Frank was holding the can right now in the first place.

 

“You said about making dessert…” Ryan recalled from earlier in the kitchen before Frank had pounced on him, “But, you never mentioned it after dinner.”

 

“This  _ is  _ after dinner,” Frank sighed, realising that he was more than likely just going to have to come out with what he wanted to do. Ryan was so closed up about anything that could have been made different about their sex life. He was so set in his ways that Frank just sat back on his feet, shaking his head in the low light, really hoping that he wasn’t going to have to do it like this because he was nervous. God he was nervous, but excited still. More excited than anything, it was just that this involved Ryan and the nerves were there because of how he was with how he had sex. So regimented and dull. Frank knew they needed this or god, he didn’t know how he would be if he was going to have spend the next god knows how many years of his life doing the same thing over and over again. They really did need this and Frank just drew in a breath, trying to think of a way to put the suggestion to Ryan without him having a freak out about it, “This is...this is the thing I wanna try.”

 

“You want to eat dessert in bed?” Ryan frowned more, folding his arms across his bare chest while he tried to figure out what in the world Frank was wanting to do right now. He was being so weird right now. Ryan couldn’t figure him out.

 

“I wanna have you for dessert.” Frank said, feeling the nerves erupting in his gut like erratic butterflies. He knew he was blushing for saying that, saying something like that to Ryan for the first time in probably the duration of their relationship. His cheeks felt hot. Thank god Ryan had turned the light off because right now he was really nervous and the idea of Ryan rejecting his idea was something that Frank was hoping wouldn’t happen.

 

There was silence for a moment. Ryan didn’t say anything. He hoped his mouth to answer, but with what Frank had just said, he was still baffled. If not more baffled because he couldn’t understand what Frank wanted to do. He wanted to have dessert? He wanted to have it in bed? Ryan was somehow involved and god, Frank had really gone and picked an odd time to say that he was still hungry. Ryan just looked at him again, confusion really noticeable in his facial features until he finally said something to break the silence, “I...I don’t understand what you want to do.”   
  
“Well,” Frank spoke, hoping that he wasn't going to have to spell it out, but seeing that this was Ryan he was trying to get to experiment with him, he knew that there was going to have to be some form of spelling out. Ryan was so set in his ways. Missionary position every time, no mixing it up, unless it was a rare occasion, even Franks side of the bed had a little dip in it now from the fact that every time they did it, it was always  _ done  _ on his side of the bed. Mattress wore out from the same routine. They needed this. Frank knew this and right now he was trying to think of a way to explain to Ryan what he wanted to do without him freaking out over the idea of him introducing something a little more spicier than vanilla into their sex life, “So I have this...and what I want to do is...y’know.”   
  
“No I don’t know.”   
  
Frank groaned then, really wishing that Ryan was a little more open minded, not just in their sex life but just with thinking outside of the box when he was trying to explain something delicately to him, “Ry...I wanna like, use it on you. Like…”

 

Frank didn’t finish explaining. Ryans eyes went wide like Frank had just put out an idea like he was going to stick the nozzle up his ass and squirt it. He looked horrified and Frank knew that Ryan was probably taking it really out of context in his head.

 

“Don’t look so scared,” Frank reassured Ryan with a smile, setting the can down on the bed, noticing how Ryan's eyes didn’t leave it for a moment until Frank spoke again and Ryan watched him nervously, “I’m not gonna do anything weird with it.”   
  
“What do you want to do with it?” Ryan asked nervously, his mind running wild with ideas. He knew what Frank could be like. Yes he had accidentally discovered Frank browsing history once and it was safe to say that he knew what Frank could be like when he put his mind to it. Especially when it came to late night browsing while Ryan was asleep.

 

“I just wanna, like- don’t look at me like that Ry.”   
  
“I’m not looking at you like anything,” Ryan spoke, even though he knew that he was looking at Frank like he had just produced something so sordid and told him that he was going to use it on him, his arms folded across his chest like he was protecting himself from whatever kinky and weird stuff that Frank was thinking of doing to him, “I just don’t understand why you would want to use it in bed when we are about to be intimate.”

 

“Because I want to use it on you,” Frank explained with a sigh, “Like, spray it on you and then lick it off.”

 

“Why?” Ryan screwed up his nose, “That just sounds far too messy.”

 

“Are you kidding me?” Frank snorted at Ryan's worry of making a mess. Sex wasn’t supposed to be clean and polished. It was supposed to be messy. With sweat and saliva and everything else. Where was the harm in Frank adding to it. It wasn't even going to be that messy. Frank was more than happy to clean up as he went along, “It’s supposed to be fun. I just wanted to mix it up.”   
  
“Well I don’t want to do it.” Ryan said out right. Franks mouth opened for a second, a small noise left him, a deflating sound because as much as he hoped that Ryan would not shoot him down, he had just done it and Frank felt just shit about it now.

 

“Why?” Frank finally asked, wanting a reason because if Ryan's reason was just because of something so silly then Frank knew that he probably could have persuaded him to do it. Hoped that he could have persuaded him, unless Ryan was going to just stick to his guns and tell Frank that there was just no way that it was happening.

 

“Because I don’t want to.” Ryan told him again. His reason sucking far more than he did ever.

 

“That’s a bullshit reason,” Frank said, shaking his head, “You’re just outright saying no? You don’t even want to give it a try?”   
  
“I don’t want to.”   
  
“What if I want to?” Frank asked him, remembering how it had all gone down only a few nights before, “You wanted to go on top the other night and I didn’t say no to you because I didn’t want you to.”

 

“You never say no to a different position.”

 

“Fine, bad example,” Frank groaned, “But...come on Ry, you even kept the light on the other night. You actually had sex with the light on. That, you haven’t done that since when we first started having sex. You got to change it up, why can’t I?”

 

“I didn’t mean to leave the light on the other night,” Ryan said quietly, chewing on his bottom lip, sitting up in bed while pulling his knees up to his chest so he didn’t feel so exposed while they were talking, “It was just, heat of the moment. It didn’t cross my mind until, well, I didn’t realise until after.”

 

“Are you being serious?” Frank stuttered out, not quite believing that what they had done the other night was all just accidental. Frank had loved the fact that Ryan had kept the light on. He had loved that Ryan had mixed it up to the point that he had been on top and they had had sex somewhere that wasn’t Franks side of the bed. It wasn’t like they had had sex somewhere different in the house, but god, the few feet of difference had had Frank's hopes raised up high on a pedestal. He had hoped that Ryan would have been different. He hoped that Tuesday night had been the start of something completely different for their sex life, but no. The proof was now as Frank just looked at Ryan, feeling even more deflated because what he had hoped was new for Ryan was all accidental. It had never meant to be like that, “So that one night where I actually got to be able to see my boyfriend in bed, it wasn’t supposed to be like that?”   
  
“And we are not using that, ever.” Ryan pointed to the can that Frank had set down amongst the bedding while they had talked.

 

“Ryan, come on, just give it a go. Just once, please.” Frank pleaded, hoping to get Ryan to change how he was for him for at least once.

 

“Frank, I don’t want to-”   
  
“Ry please, for me. Just once.”

 

“I said no,” Ryan snapped, making Frank stop with his pleading and begging. The room went silent and Frank just looked at him. Blinked at him with his mouth hanging open. Ryan felt bad for snapping at Frank, he hated raising his voice in the slightest, even though he hadn’t really raised it. But it was the fact that he had had to stop Frank. That was what he felt bad about, but he didn’t stop, even after Ryan had said that he didn’t want to try it the first time. He persisted and that was what lead Ryan to speak out the way he had done, “Look, I’m sorry, but I’m not changing my mind. I don’t want to do it.”

 

“Why-”

 

“I just don’t want to,” Ryan cut in, “Just drop it Frank, please.”

 

“But why?” Frank pushed a little more, wondering why Ryan was being so closed up about the idea of trying something new. Why was he being so boring when all Frank had wanted to do was spice it up a little bit, “I don’t understand why you won’t just try one thing with me?”   
  
“I said drop it.” Ryan said again, not snapping at Frank this time, but he still avoided looking at him, avoiding eye contact when he reached for his shirt, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

 

“What are you doing?” Frank frowned, watching Ryan sit up in bed, pulling his shirt back on. He wasn’t even looking at him, like he was shying away, covering himself up, “Are you getting dressed?”

 

Ryan didn’t answer. He just continued to button up his night shirt before he finally did look at Frank, giving him a look that told Frank exactly what was happening.

 

“Are you stopping this?” Frank asked, struck dumb as he watched Ryan continue to cover himself up, even moving over onto his side of the bed while Frank remained kneeling, wondering if Ryan was really putting a stop to them having sex for the second time in one week, “Ry, what are you doing?”

 

“I’m sorry,” Ryan apologised quietly, “I’m just not feeling in the mood now.”   
  
“Are you being serious?” Frank stuttered out, not believing that Ryan was actually doing this to him. Yes he had done it to him before, but this was different because it was happening right now and Frank swore that Ryan would not do this to him, especially when he was still ready to go, whipped cream or not, “You can’t do this to me.”

 

“I’m just not in the mood now,” He told Frank again firmly, pulling on the rest of his night clothes before getting under the duvet on his side of the bed, “If you hadn’t persisted with that then maybe things would be different, but you took the edge off.”

 

“I can’t believe this,” Frank groaned out, shaking his head, “So you’re happy to just leave me like this?”

 

Ryan knew that he could have apologised to Frank again, but it wasn’t going to make anything better. It wasn’t all of a sudden going to make Frank happy over the fact that he was knelt on the bed with an erection that he couldn’t do anything about. He just sat quietly, feeling bad, but standing his ground over the fact that Frank had actually made it far too awkward for his liking.

 

“You’re being selfish.”

 

“I’m being selfish?” Ryan gasped out, shocked that Frank would even say that to him. He didn’t see himself as a selfish lover, just a guy who really couldn’t keep up with Franks sex drive because he didn’t see sex as the be all and end all of of a relationship. It was a much deeper connection for him and really, Ryan knew that Frank was the one who was being selfish, “You were the one who kept pushing for  _ that.”  _ Ryan said, waving a hand at the cream that still sat amongst the folds of bedding.

 

“Please,” Frank sighed, “I don’t want to argue over this.”   
  
“I’m not arguing, I’m just telling you how it is.”

 

“That I’m the selfish one,” Frank snorted out, “Yeah, sure seems like it to me.”

 

“Will you just drop it and get into bed?” Ryan asked Frank politely, hoping to put an end to this evening and just go to sleep so they could move on from this and start afresh in the morning.

 

“How can I drop it when  _ this _ won’t drop it?” Frank pointed to himself again, still aching because he thought that they were going to be having sex. His dick hadn’t quite caught on to the fact that he wasn’t getting anything tonight and even Frank knew that it would probably take a while before it did clock on. And even then, he was going to be grumpy as hell because he had gotten all wound up for nothing, “How can I get into bed when I know that you are going to do nothing to help me out?”   
  
“Then don’t get into bed.” Ryan sighed, wondering why in the world Frank was still going on when it all could have been dropped now and they could have just gone to sleep.

 

“So I can’t get into my own bed now?” Frank stuttered out, wondering if this was going to be the moment that Ryan would tell him to just go and sleep on the sofa like he usually told him to when he couldn’t be dealing with Frank. He wanted to deal with this, in more ways than one, but Ryan was now being stubborn and Frank was getting more and more irritated with him.

 

“I didn’t say that,” Ryan groaned out, resting his head back against the headboard in exasperation, “I said what I said because you questioned about how you could get into bed now. If you can’t, then don’t.”   
  
“Then I won’t,” Frank huffed out, finally moving from the bed, standing up to reach for what he had been wearing. Ryan watched him, shaking his head at him, wondering if Frank was going to be so stubborn about this right now to the point that he was choosing to sleep on the sofa downstairs instead of in his own bed, “I’ll sleep on the sofa tonight then.”

 

“Frank,” Ryan sighed, “Don’t be like this.”   
  
“Be like what?” He asked once he had pulled his pants back on, trying his best to ignore what they really weren’t concealing right now, “I suggested something, you shot me down. I suggested it because you had been different, but that wasn’t how it was supposed to be. I wondered what was going to happen now and your answer is to just ignore what I wanted because you don’t want it anymore. So I’m going to go downstairs and try to sleep.”

 

“Just get into bed-”

 

“No,” Frank cut him off, pulling his shirt back on, grabbing at the blanket that sat on the bottom of the bed. He rolled it up under his arm before grabbing at the one thing that he had wanted to do with Ryan, the can of cream, but no, it seemed that even Ryan was too vanilla to even consider changing it up even slightly for Ryan, “Can’t believe my own boyfriend cock blocked me.”

 

Ryan said something to Frank, but he didn’t listen. Frank had stormed out of the bedroom by that point, heading downstairs with a black cloud lingering over him now. He was annoyed, probably more annoyed than he would have been if Ryan hadn’t already got him going, but still, Frank was adamant that Ryan was the one who was in the wrong over this and he wasn’t just going to let it go because he was going to be on the sofa for the night. No, Frank was almost happy about the idea of it as he entered his darkened front room, flopping down onto the sofa with a huff, reaching out onto the coffee table for the tv remote. Frank knew he could have found it easier if he just turned on a lamp or turned on the light, but he was far too annoyed at Ryan to even consider getting back up again. He was semi wrapped up in the blanket already, can of cream in the folds somewhere when he grabbed the remote, switching the tv on, turning the volume down so Ryan wouldn’t have to come downstairs and moan at him for watching the tv too loudly.

 

Frank rubbed at his eyes which were starting to get heavy with tiredness, but he knew that he couldn’t even contemplate sleep right now, especially with the fact that a certain part of him was still unaware of the fact that he wasn’t getting any sex tonight, still waiting patiently, still making Frank more irritated because it hurt and there wasn’t anything that could be done about it now.

 

Well, there was one thing, but Frank wasn’t going to be a complete animal and jerk off on the sofa. What if Ryan walked in on him, made some comment about what he was doing. Probably some shitty comment about doing it where they sat and watched tv.

 

And that was making Frank want to do it less because he was getting more frustrated over Ryan. Pissed off over the fact that he had refused to even try one thing that wasn’t even that bad. Pissed off because Frank had been so sure that Ryan was mixing it up more, especially after what had happened on their date night, but no. Ryan was still the same. Everything that Frank had thought was changing for the better, of course it had all been accidental. Of course Ryan was still the same in bed. To be honest, Frank had even been surprised that he had been up for it tonight. Twice in one week, that was highly unusual for Ryan, but it had been too good to be true and now Frank just grumbled under his breath, wondering where they were going wrong if they couldn’t inject a little spice into their sex life. Was it really that bad if Frank couldn’t get a little excitement out of Ryan. He wondered as he started to flip through the channels, trying to find something that he could zone out to.

 

Something to zone out to as Frank reached into the folds on the blanket, grabbing at the can of whipped cream. He turned it over in his hand, wondering why Ryan had been so against it. But he didn’t put too much thought into it. If it wasn’t going to be used like that then Frank knew that he wasn’t going to waste it. He would use it another was as he continued to channel hop, shaking the can before pointing the nozzle into his open mouth, squirting out cream, eating it himself. It tasted good, probably would have tasted better on Ryan, but there was nothing that could be done about that as Frank licked cream from the corner of his mouth, continuing to search for something to watch on tv.

 

Nothing romantic, Frank thought as he changed the channel and landed on one that was showing 500 Days Of Summer. He had seen it once and really, now was not the time to watch that film, especially when the poor guy in the film was wondering where it had all gone wrong with him and his girlfriend.

 

“Oh great, thanks.” Frank muttered at the tv, wondering if someone had done this on purpose to him. He was having trouble with his relationship. Well, he didn’t know if there was trouble in paradise, but it was starting to look like it more and more, especially when he was wondering what had happened to them. Why was Ryan so boring and dull when it came to their sex life? Why was he so keen on keeping it regimented when all Frank wanted to do was mix it up so sex didn’t feel like a chore for him.

 

It really did. A chore that he still loved a hell of a lot, but Ryan was taking the edge off it. He was making it boring and Frank wondered why he was so into it being boring. Was boring his thing? He snorted to himself then because what if it was his thing? Then they were probably the most mismatched couple that Frank had even known. It wasn’t like Frank was into anything weird, not that he knew of anyway, but even as he changed the channel, moving away from that film as quickly as possible, he did begin to wonder if this was it for him? Was he destined to live a bland life with a bland partner and have bland sex for the rest of his life?

 

He really hoped not, but Frank was beyond thinking about Ryan right now as he settled on a channel to watch. Finally. Frank wasn’t exactly a fan of Bridget Jones, but it was an easy film to watch and to be honest, he knew that he wasn’t going to be watching it for long. He yawned, tired, tired of thinking about Ryan because he had annoyed him and Frank didn’t want to be annoyed as he drifted off. He was happier, having polished off the can of cream pretty quickly. He cleared his mind, avoiding any sort of thinking that involved Ryan. That could wait. He was alone downstairs and twenty minutes of him zoning out at the film passed. Ryan hadn’t bothered to come downstairs to check on him. Hadn’t come downstairs to ask him to come to bed. Frank could just imagine that he had probably given up on him for the night, choosing to just roll over and go to sleep. Deal with Frank in the morning, just like he was doing with Ryan. 

 

Frank was glad that Ryan hadn’t come downstairs. Eventually he had finished off the cream, setting the can on the carpet before he sighed. It wasn’t too late, but it was late enough that Frank could feel sleep creeping up on him. He considered staying up for a bit longer, but settling down under the blanket on the sofa seemed like a better option. Trying to get some sleep because Frank knew that Ryan was an early riser, even at the weekends. Frank preferred to stay hidden under the covers for a while longer, having a lie in while Ryan went downstairs to make breakfast. He knew that Ryan would probably wake him up in the morning when he surfaced from upstairs, so Frank knew to get some sleep.

 

That was if he could. He lay down on the sofa, pulling the blankets around him while he tried to find a position that would be comfy, but something was still awake. The one part of Frank that was probably still hoping for some form of action tonight, even though that was really not going to be happening at all. 

 

Eventually it would calm down, Frank knew it, he just didn’t know when as he tried his best to ignore it. Eventually it did calm down, even though Frank was still worked up on the inside. Pissed off, still, but he couldn’t help it. He had been wound up and left right there, how else was he supposed to be after Ryan had stopped it all? 

 

Not in bed. That was a fact and Frank tried his best to deal with it. Even as he drifted off to sleep, he tried his best to ignore just how annoyed he was at how his plan to spice up his boring sex life had transpired.


	5. Chapter 4: Frank Iero was No Hercules When it Came to Sexual Withdrawal

Frank woke up the next morning in a still-as-foul mood, his hand sticky with sweat as it clung to the now empty can of whipped cream. He stared at it before scowling and setting it down on the ground. He grabbed the television remote and turned the screen off, stifling a yawn. The stretch in his jaw finally alerted him to the fact that his neck was killing him.

 

He cringed at the pain in his spine from contorting himself on the sofa and carefully sat up, eyes still heavy and thick with sleep. He looked up at the clock on the wall beside the front door and scowled.

 

It was only seven in the morning. 

 

Way too early to be fully functional or assimilated.

 

Frank let out a small whimper at the realisation, at the sudden coming around of what had transpired last night. Had they really fought over a damned can of whipped cream, had he and his boyfriend really hit the dregs at the bottom of the barrel? Frank sighed as he mentally checked yes and yes.

 

He sighed as he stood up slowly, his joints protesting at the stretch, his arms coming up to reach for the ceiling before he bent over and touched his toes. He stifled another yawn, his muscles sighing in relief as he straightened up.

 

Frank was also now waking up, he was also now trying to fathom whether or not he was still angry with Ryan- angry? Was he angry? Well angry was a rather harsh word situationally. Frank would have to have said he was confused and annoyed more than angry. Confused as to why it was such a damn big deal for Ryan, annoyed at the way Ryan had acted and had not-so-brashly kicked him out of bed.

 

Sure, Frank chose to sleep on the sofa, but it was only because he knew Ryan would cold-shoulder him and make it all the more worse, like a huge crack dividing down the middle of their bed.

 

Frank carefully and quietly wandered back towards the bedroom, taking the stairs one at a time, noting which places to avoid for the loudest of creaks, the house in total silence which meant Ryan was most likely still asleep.

 

Frank peered into the bedroom to see that Ryan was in fact asleep, his back to the door, curls a-matte on his pillow like dark chestnut roots of a tree. Frank sighed, scowling as he tip-toed into the bedroom and walked over to the bed, leaning over to climb in when he paused.

 

Frank usually never got hard in the mornings anymore, as though his body just knew after six years that Ryan wasn’t the type for a morning session. Hell, Frank almost wept real and actual tears the one morning Ryan woke up, rolled over and gave him a sloppy handjob.

 

But this morning, Frank was still on the rebound- physically- from last night and it was evident that his body wanted some sort of release. Frank frowned at the back of Ryan’s head and realised that maybe Ryan didn’t deserve his dick, a laughable thought that Frank tried hard to push down, a smirk fighting it’s way onto his pierced lips.

 

Did Frank really want to get himself off in bed beside his unaware and sleeping boyfriend? Did he really want to stoop so low after the ‘stunt’ he pulled the night before? Frank was still hunched over, one leg lifted, when he looked down under his armpit at the shower behind him, contemplating one hell of a soap up.

 

Was it the fact that it was a shower somehow making it seem less tacky, less wrong? Somehow the adage of some soap and water took away from the fact that Frank was trying to get himself off because he just didn’t want to bother Ryan with his pesky problem. 

 

Or was Ryan the problem?

 

Frank pushed that thought aside almost as soon as it fell into his mind, because no, he wasn’t ready to think of his boyfriend that way. 

 

Frank straightened up and turned, undressing from his pajamas, tossing them in the hamper before he padded into their en-suite bathroom. Frank left the lights off, knowing it would lighten up outside soon enough, and he opened the shower door.

 

He closed the bathroom door behind him before opening the faucet, turning the washer until the water was a decently scalding temperature. Frank grabbed a towel from the rail and flung it over the top of the shower before carefully stepping in. 

 

He let out a small sigh, the hot water was like magic on his shoulders, unravelling knots in his flesh that he didn’t even know he had. He looked down at his feet, closing his eyes as he carefully stepped back into the water and let it rain down on him.

 

He could feel the heated torrents run down over his face and his front before he turned, facing the wall, drenching himself fully. He raised his head up for a moment before hanging it again, running a hand through his hair. It caught on a few knots to say the least, and with Frank feeling as fired up as he was, he couldn’t deny how the accidental tugs made his stomach flutter. 

 

He sucked in a breath, his other hand itching as he ran it over his lower stomach, biting on his lip as he gave one more thought into whether or not this was going to be a slightly longer shower. The prospect of an orgasm being so close but so far would have tempted even the strongest of men- and Frank Iero was no Hercules when it came to sexual withdrawal.

 

He felt his lip tremble at the prospect, giving one last glance at the closed bathroom door before he finally reached ‘fuck it’.

 

Frank wrapped a hand around himself, whimpering quietly under his breath as the simple touch seemed to both relieve the stress and tighten about sixty knots at once. Frank tightened his grip for a moment, sliding his wet palm up over his length and back down, his hand going back to cup his balls. He gasped softly, leaning back against the shower wall with his head.

 

Frank opened his eyes, sucking in a short breath as his hand found it’s way around his dick yet again. But no. Frank shook his head and straightened up, clearing his throat.

 

Frank frowned, grabbing his loofa and his shower gel from the caddy they had hung. He squirted some of the berry scented wash onto the grey washer and began furiously scrubbing his arms. He ran his sponge loofa over his chest, still scowling. 

 

He ran the loofa over his stomach, touching the base of his dick. He felt a spark of electricity in his veins and he looked down at his soapy skin, looking down at his dick still achingly hard.

 

Frank tried again, his fingers stroking at his dick slowly, moaning quietly. He felt each millimetre of touch made another notch in his already heated coil burn brighter.

 

Frank pulled away with a light gasp, whimpering as he looked at the door again with a guilted frown in his brows and a loofa in his hand, other hand- sordid hand- behind him on the wall. 

 

Frank let out a groan, dropping his soaped up sponge, feeling it fall on his foot with a splotch as he wrapped a hand around his dick again, rougher than he had before, stroking quickly, catching himself off guard with a moan.

 

He looked down, his mouth hanging agape, his eyes glued to what he was currently busy with. He tightened his grip, his other hand raking on the tiles as he panted, his fingertips tingling. He felt the hot water on his skin as he carried on stroking, pumping.

 

Frank let out a grunt, his free hand running over his ass when he froze. Did he really just consider it? Would he really be the one to do that to himself?

 

Oh yes.

 

Frank mewled at the touch, his soaped up fingers tracing softly over his asshole, whimpering incessantly at the touch, at the slight burn that came with his teasing.

 

“Oh fuck- shit.” Frank groaned to himself, picking up his pace as his skin began to heat up, his cheeks flushed bright as they always did. Frank arched his back, his knees buckling as a shaky breath made it’s way from his panting lips, his rapidly rising and falling chest. 

 

Frank’s eyes had yet to budge, still staring with a perverted fixation as he jerked himself off. He let out a shallow gasp, shuddering as the heat wormed it's way into his nervous system.

 

Frank so badly wanted to make it last, so badly wanted to keep building his climax for as long as possible, draw out just how good he felt but he knew that it wouldn’t last. It was just too good, it was just way too much from how his fingers were working, both pumping slick and plundering his asshole.

 

Frank hardly ever had the pleasure of Ryan in his asshole, either dick or fingers and Frank had yet to ever experience a mouth on his entrance, one of his greatest mysteries. Ryan would never in his wildest dreams think of something as vulgar as eating Frank out and barely let Frank do the same, his reasoning that if Frank did do it, he wouldn’t kiss him for a week. Frank was already denied sex more than he cared to admit, the last thing he wanted was to have Ryan take away his plump, cherry lips. Frank would die.

 

He let out a groan at the thought of Ryan’s mouth, his knees shaking as he found himself standing up on his toes. A shuddering gasp leaving his chest as he finally remembered to breathe.

 

His orgasm was coming far too quick, his climax burning like a bright burning stake in his lower belly. His gaze finally broke from his vulgar act, his eyes squeezed shut at just how good it felt, his head tilted back as the hot water made him sweat even more than he already was, the steam curling against his tightened skin, in his lungs.

 

He moved his leg, his knee bent as he pushed a third finger in, crying out quietly at the stinging pain that shot into all the right places, pulling every knot and every coil tighter until finally, fucking finally it all unravelled inside of him.

 

His hips rutted, fucking into his soaped up palm as the release hit him right in the gut. He gasped out, moaning quietly in heavy, gasping moans as he came in heated, warm spurts that ran down over his knuckles to the water that circles at his feet. He could feel the exquisite electricity sparking through his body, making him tremble and spasm uncontrollably. His other hand thrusting into himself quickly, roughly, desperately.

 

He dropped back down to his feet, pulling out and letting go with a heavy sigh, the tingle still in his fingers and toes, burning in his thighs as he tensed. He looked down at himself for a moment before he bent down shakily, picking up his loofa.

 

He ran the soaped up sponge over himself carefully, cringing and hissing at the oversensitivity of the loofa over his dick, jumping slightly before he cleaned his hands off and stepped under the waterm watching the suds run off.

 

He cleaned off his sponge, hanging it on the hook before he closed the faucet. He grabbed the towel from atop the shower and ran it over his hair, fluffing it dry before he wrapped the towel around his hips and opened the shower, stepping out into the steaming bathroom.

 

He turned to the mirror and smiled, drawing a smiley face in the mirror for Ryan like he always did before he opened the door.

 

“Enjoy yourself?”

 

Frank let out a yelp, jumping in fright as he came out into the bedroom and sat Ryan sitting up in bed clutching his usual camomile tea in his usual navy blue mug.

 

Frank stood there. His eyes wide as he tried to play it cool, his heart still raging in his chest but now for a different reason. 

 

“I…” Frank ran a hand through his hair as he walked into the bedroom, “I have no idea what you mean.”

 

“Your usual shower is about five- ten minutes…” Ryan took a sip of tea, “You were in there for about a half an hour. I doubt you were existentialising…” Ryan smirked at him and Frank felt himself blush.

 

“I- I wasn’t…”

 

“Oh, you weren’t?” Ryan tilted his head to the side, “You sure about that?”

 

“Yes.” Frank narrowed his eyes as he walked over to the chest of drawers, unwrapping the towel to dry himself off. He set the towel on the end of the bed and opened the drawer, grabbing an old pair of boxers, slipping them on.

 

“You’re lying.” Ryan giggled, “You were jerking off.”

 

“What’s it to you if I was?” Frank turned and looked at Ryan, hands on his hips.

 

He so badly wanted to ask Ryan why in God’s name he was getting more action from his own hand than his boyfriend but no, he decided to hold his tongue despite his best efforts. He scowled at Ryan, who was smirking back at him, his wild curls in a surprisingly attractive mess around his smug face.

 

“I’m dating a pig.”

 

“And I’m dating an anal-retentive seventy-year old man.” Frank opened the closet and grabbed the first t-shirt he could, pulling it on over his head.

 

“That’s harsh.” Ryan frowned and Frank shrugged.

 

“It’s true.”

 

“It isn’t.” Ryan scoffed.

 

“Prove me wrong.” Frank quipped and Ryan set his cup down and turned to Frank.

 

“Get over here and I will.” Ryan countered and Frank raised an eyebrow.

 

“You won’t. It’s not part of your routine.” Frank didn’t move, watching Ryan’s internal struggle seep into his facial expression.

 

“Oh… Go hug a landmine.” Ryan scowled, folding his arms and Frank tilted his head to the side.

 

“Now who’s harsh, Mr Ross.” Frank stated and Ryan sat up and swung his legs off of the bed, getting up before he walked over to Frank casually, looking down at him.

 

Frank looked up at Ryan, who leaned down, kissing him tenderly, surprisingly tender for the moment. Frank stared at Ryan for a moment before he closed his eyes, kissing back, forgetting for a split second of his annoyance.

 

He sighed out as Ryan put his hands on Frank’s hips, pulling him closer, his tongue in Frank’s mouth, teasing.

 

Frank let out a groan, the warmth of Ryan’s body against his was something Frank had wanted so badly but no, Ryan had denied him that pleasure and Frank had yet to let it go.

 

He pulled away and Ryan’s eyes fluttered open, a small frown of confusion in his perfect brows, “What?”

 

“You think kissing me is going to make up for last night?” Frank asked and Ryan bit on his lip, his face set in a line.

 

“I wasn’t planning on just kissing you, Frank. I want to make up for it.” Ryan smiled, giving Frank’s hips a squeeze before Frank wiggled out of his touch.

 

“Y’know what?” Frank held his upper arm, “I’m not in the mood for once.”

 

“Really?” Ryan frowned and Frank shrugged, “That’s new.”

 

“I’m still upset with you.” Frank looked up at Ryan, who was still genuinely surprised.

 

“Because I said no to whipped cream making me sticky.”

 

“You could have just had a shower like you always do.” Frank rolled his eyes and walked away from Ryan.

 

“What is with you?”

 

“Yeah. I’m the problem.” Frank replied simply with a scoff as he walked out of the bedroom and out into the hallway before descending the stairs, stomping unhappily as he decided to keep his foul mood intact.

 

He walked into the living room and grabbed the blanket from the sofa, folding it up haphazardly before he lay it over the back of the sofa, hearing Ryan coming down the stairs.

 

“Frank…” Ryan began, most likely standing in the doorway as Frank fluffed the pillow he had used to sleep with.

 

“What?” Frank replied, frowning as he continued puffing up the pillow avidly, avoiding Ryan’s gaze.

 

“Look at me.”

 

“I’m busy.” Frank lifted the pillow up, fluffing the corners.

 

“Hey…” Frank could hear Ryan was closer and he sigh, turning to look at Ryan, pillow still in hand.

 

“What?” Frank asked with an annoyed sigh.

 

“Come and have breakfast with me.”

 

“French toast right?” Frank asked and Ryan frowned.

 

“I thought you liked my french toast?” Ryan looked confused, a flash of hurt in his eyes.

 

“Not hungry.” Frank shrugged, it was a lie, he was completely starving by now but he just didn’t want to sit in an awkward silence over breakfast with Ryan at the table and try and enjoy it in the mood he was in.

 

Ryan took the pillow from Frank’s hands and set it down, “I’m sorry.”

 

“You’re sorry?” Frank asked and Ryan nodded, “You don’t need to be. It’s your choice. You didn’t say yes so I didn’t do it.”

 

“And of course I appreciate that.” Ryan replied with earnest, making the latter shrug, “But I know now that it meant something to you and I’m sorry for how we handled it.”

 

“How we…” Frank frowned before he sighed, pushing his annoyance down, not wanting to start up a proper, full-blown argument, “Okay. You’re sorry.”

 

“I really am, sweetheart.” Ryan stated with a nod and Frank bit his lip, nodding, “I don’t want aerated cream to come between us.”

 

“Yeah well it should have before you would have.” Frank muttered, folding his arms and Ryan stared at him for a moment before he seemed to blush, a small snort leaving him.

 

“That’s fucking disgusting, Frank.”

 

“Yeah, okay. Apology accepted.”

 

“I’m gonna make some breakfast, you join me if you want to, okay?” Ryan asked out carefully and Frank pushed Ryan out of the living room and into the kitchen, steering him to the fridge, making Ryan giggle, “You should try and work on your interview.”

 

“Hmm?” Frank asked with a frown as he slid into one of the chairs at the kitchen table.

 

“Your interview, Frank. With Congressman Way, remember?” Ryan asked out as he opened the fridge and grabbed the carton of eggs and whatever else he needed.

 

“Oh yeah..” Frank scratched at what felt like a pimple on his chin, “When’s that again?”

 

“On Monday.” Ryan warned and Frank winced.

 

“Shit.” He ran a hand over the just-growing stubble on his chin, “I completely forgot.”

 

“You should work on some questions.” Ryan stated as he put a pan on the stove, switching the plate on before plopping a dollop of butter in.

 

“I already have a heading.” Frank rolled his eyes, “Twenty Questions with Congressman Way.” Frank joked with a small laugh.

 

“I like that.” Ryan smiled as he cracked an egg into a bowl.

 

“I was kidding.” Frank frowned, looking over at Ryan.

 

“But it’s a good heading. I mean if you ask him twenty questions. And it’s catchy in any case.” Ryan stated and Frank mulled out over, biting on the inside of his cheek as Ryan cracked in his third egg.

 

“I suppose. I mean why not, right? I’ve got nothing else for it.” 

 

“A heading is a good start.” Ryan began whisking the eggs, turning ti fac Frank, facing him as he leaned against the counter.

 

“Yeah, I’ll get my laptop.” Frank got up before he paused, “Where is it?”

 

“I put it in the lounge next to the coffee table.” Ryan smiled, grabbing the carton of milk, pouring in a small bit before whisking again.

 

Frank walked out, padding into the living room to grab his laptop bag before returning to the kitchen.

 

“What kind of french toast do you want?”

 

“I have options?”

 

“Well I mean you can have plain, I can maybe put a bit of cinnamon in it or something, some vanilla or honey…” Ryan trailed off and Frank pursed his lips.

 

“Cinnamon sounds good.” He nodded as he pulled his laptop out of his bag and put it on the table and opened it, switching it on.

 

“And by the way, don’t just Google some random question to ask him, actually put some effort into it, Frank.”

 

Frank opened his mouth to answer when he suddenly jumped, hearing his phone ringing somewhere in the house. He got up, walking out, frowning as he strained his ears, listening. He walked into the living room, hearing it slightly louder. He walked to the sofa and dug around, pulling the device out from the cushions, noting it was a number he didn’t know.

 

“Hello?” He answered.

 

“Is this Frank Iero?” A voice asked and Frank frowned, walking back into the kitchen.

 

“Yeah, this is him.”

 

“This is Brendon Urie, Congressman Way’s assistant.” Brendon introduced himself cheerily as Frank slid back into his chair, watching Ryan dip a slice of bread into the egg mix before laying it in the pan with a light sizzle.

 

“Oh hi.”

 

“I know it’s early, I hope I didn’t wake you.” Brendon laughed lightly and Frank smiled, the sound was contagious.

 

“Nah, I’m awake, I’m actually working on the interview as we speak.” Frank replied as he opened up a new document and typed out the heading of his article with one hand.

 

“Oh, well that’s good. Did Ryan inform you of your interview being this up and coming Monday?”

 

“Oh, yeah he did.” Frank nodded.

 

“Is nine o’clock alright with you? The rest of his day is pretty chock-a-block considering he’s busy with his campaign.”

 

“Uh…” Frank frowned, “Yeah, nine should be good. I have nothing else on.”

 

“Oh good.” Brendon muttered, “Good. Do you have anywhere specific you’d like to meet?”

 

“Oh jeez… Uh…” Frank frowned, scratching again at the pimple on his chin, elbow on the table, “No, not really.”

 

“How many do you want?” Ryan whispered to Frank as he flipped the slice over and turned to look at the latter.

 

Frank put his hand over the receiver, “Four slices please.” he muttered and Ryan nodded before Frank continued for his phone call, “Sorry, what was that?”

 

“Can you meet Mister Way at The Brunch Spot?”

 

“That restaurant in North Main?” Frank asked.

 

“That’s the one.”

 

“Yeah sure.” Frank frowned, “Why not at his office?”

 

“Well to be honest now that Gerard is running again, his campaign manager and he feels as though it would be good publicity to see him interacting with the people, creating a rapport especially if it's going to be an interview for a paper. It’ll be good for votes.”

 

“Well uh…” Frank frowned, finding it rather odd that Brendon would admit something like that so openly but he decided not to question it and rather just go with it, “That makes sense.”

 

“So you’ll be there at nine on Monday.” Brendon asked again and Frank nodded to himself.

 

“Wouldn’t miss it.” He bit his lip nervously, “And tell Mister Way that I say thanks for this.”

 

“No problem.” Brendon replied happily, “Enjoy the rest of your day.”

 

“Yeah you too.” Frank looked at Ryan as Brendon hung up.

 

“Where you meeting him?” Ryan asked as he flipped a piece of toast over.

 

“The Brunch Spot.” Frank sighed.

 

“Oh?” Ryan seemed as surprised as Frank was, “I thought it would be at hi office, honestly.”

 

“Yeah, me too. But it’s publicity apparently.” Frank shrugged as he looked at the blank document in front of him, sudden butterflies in his stomach, “Maybe I should do some research on this guy first.”

 

“It wouldn’t hurt.” Ryan replied and Frank opened his browser, typing in Gerard’s name and oh-

 

Frank swallowed, as quite a few articles popped up on the congressman in question, most of them good, boasting about what a good job he’s done for his district and the upkeep and mostly puff pieces that Frank was too lazy to read.

 

“So?” Ryan asked as he lay another slice in the pan.

 

“Gerard Arthur Way.” Frank read as he opened a simple Wikipedia page on the politician, “Whoa- he’s older than I thought.”

 

“How old is he?”

 

“Says he’s thirty six.” Frank snorted.” Jeez.”

 

“I expected him to be older actually.” Ryan stated as he wandered off, putting the pan in the sink before reappearing.

 

“You have to be at least thirty to run for senate.” Frank stated matter of factly.

 

“Really? I didn’t know that.” Ryan smiled as he reached up into one of the cabinets and pulled out two plates, setting them down at the table with the french toast in the middle.

 

“Thirty five to be president and twenty five to be a representative.” Frank carried on as he read up a little bit on the congressman.

 

“That’s pretty cool.” Ryan commented as he sprinkled some icing sugar on top of the slices, “Want some strawberries?”

 

“Do we still have any honey?” Frank asked as he continued scrolling, “Gerard was married as well.”

 

“Oh?” Ryan replied with a raised eyebrow as he opened the pantry and stuck his head in.

 

“Yeah, dunno if they’re still married or not but he married his high school sweetheart.” Frank smiled.

 

“That’s sweet.” Ryan reappeared with the bear-shaped bottle, “Bit like us.” Ryan added as he set it down and Frank bit his lip, suddenly feeling uncomfortable.

 

“Uh-huh…” He muttered simply, scratching behind his ear as he frowned, concentrating on the screen instead of Ryan, the thought of marriage making him squirm.

 

Frank had nothing against commitment, no. He had committed faithfully to Ryan for six years but the idea of marriage had him uncomfortable for one reason. But did he want to admit to himself that he was confused whether it was the thought of marriage itself or the thought of marrying Ryan that made him feel so iffy.

 

Frank didn’t know, and he didn’t want to think about it before he was meant to enjoy a nice breakfast with the boy in question.

 

He pushed the thought of it all from his head with a small shake and tried to refocus on the website ahead of him as Ryan pottered around, grabbing cutlery for them from the draw along with a napkin or two.

 

“I wonder what he looks like.” Frank muttered as he went to click on images.

 

“Breakfast is ready.” Ryan put his hand on the pack of Frank’s laptop and gave it a small push, closing it a bit, making Frank jump as the page was about to load.

 

“Right.” Frank smiled, rubbing his hands together, setting his laptop aside as Ryan sat in the chair across from him.

 

Frank grabbed one of the slices from the plate with a smile, stealing the bottle of honey, drizzling a healthy helping on the slice as Ryan did the same with the blueberry sauce his mom had made them.

 

Frank began eating when Ryan piped up, “So did you think of any questions?” 

 

Frank looked up, mouth full of light and fluffy french toast, wrists resting on the table edge, knife and fork in hand, “Oh uh- no. I drew a blank.”

 

“Want some help?” Ryan offered, “I mean I know jack squat about politics but I could give it a go.” Ryan shrugged, cutting off a triangle of toast, popping it in his mouth.

 

“Sure.” Frank smiled as he did the same, chewing slowly.

 

“Why don’t you…” Ryan swallowed, pursing his lips in thought, ‘Why don’t you ask him about… Well, does your article have a specific theme? Like- is there a general criteria and leitmotif for it?”

 

“I was thinking of something relevant at least. See what his views on it are.”

 

“Well what about health care?” Ryan asked and Frank froze, looking up from his plate in surprise.

 

“That’s actually not a bad idea, babe.”

 

Ryan smiled proudly, looking slightly smug as he bit his lip and cut into his toast, “Yeah?”

 

“I could ask him, like,” Frank bit into another chuck of toast, the honey making a sweet squelch against his teeth, “Like how the government has spent sixty years ‘reforming’ health care for employer-based medical aid.”

 

“Really?” Ryan raised an eyebrow, “I didn’t know that.”

 

“Yeah,” Frank swallowed, “ The government has been "reforming" health-care for sixty years-tax breaks for employer-provided health-insurance, Medicare, Medicaid, encouraging HMOs and managed care, and government health-insurance at the state level in Massachusetts, Maine, Oregon. Government health-care has expanded until it is now more than 50% of all health-care spending. Yet after sixty years of government "reform," the problems with health-care are just getting worse.”

 

“Wow.” Ryan muttered, “What would you ask him about that?”

 

“Well,” Frank grabbed his second slice and the honey bottle, “I’d asked him why we should believe that even more government is the solution? I mean, is it really, y’know?”

 

“I really wouldn’t know but write that down before you forget.” Ryan nodded at the laptop and Frank nodded, licking his fingers before he closed the Gerard tab and opened his document back up, typing out the first question quickly.

 

“There. Nineteen to go.” Frank smiled.

 

“You’ve got this.” Ryan smiled encouragingly as he took his own second slice.

 

“God, I hope so.”


	6. Chapter 5: It All Started with Pink Pineapple Socks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title says it all really I guess. We are much further ahead in the story as of now and I'm holding back on saying stuff in this note because I know if I say anything oh my gosh spoiler alerts sorry sorry lol
> 
> I won't breathe a word I promise 
> 
> Any errors, apologies, but we think we got them all :)

Chapter 5

 

This was it, and even though Frank had fully prepared himself, nothing could have prepared him for how he felt right now. He had set himself up over the weekend, even having received a phone call from Brendon, who had prepped him on where the meeting and interview was going to be taking place. Frank had assumed at his office, or an office, or just somewhere formal. He hadn’t expected for the interview to be happening at a restaurant at nine am. That had thrown Frank somewhat off kilter because he had prepared and he had the confidence in him to do this. It was just that he had expected this to have been a thing behind closed doors. A much more formal meeting than talking in such a public place. So out in the open. On display. That made Frank feel so much more nervous about it all.

 

Almost scared. Frank didn’t think that he would ever be scared about doing something like this. It was his job, it was what he was being paid to do, but fear was residing in him and for the life of him he couldn’t shake it off as he looked out of the passenger window of the car. Looking at his destination while he swallowed.

 

It was like he was face to face with a monster. Frank was the small child coming face to face with the monster that lurked in his closet. It wasn’t that extreme. Frank knew that he was blowing this out of proportion, but with the nervous butterflies fluttering in his stomach, he felt like he had a right to blow this out of proportion. Like he couldn’t tackle this. It felt so daunting, the idea of actually speaking to this person. A congressman. In a restaurant of all places. Neutral grounds. This really had thrown Frank and now the restaurant seemed like the kind of building that he felt like he couldn’t set foot into.

 

He watched the restaurant for a second, ignoring how Ryan was sat next to him in the car, ignoring him because this was huge right now. This was more nerve wracking than sitting outside of somewhere that Frank hated going to. Like the dentist. Frank hated that. And it wasn’t like he was suddenly having second thoughts about all of this, all of a sudden hating this and thinking that he should just cancel last minute. 

 

No, Frank knew that he couldn’t get out of this now, ten minutes before he was supposed to be meeting this congressman who probably had better things to do with his time than sit in a restaurant and talk to some wannabe hot shot writer for a small town newspaper. No, He knew that he had to prove himself, prove to himself that he could do this and that he was going to do this.

 

It was just the idea of it all right now. The different ways that it could pan out. The different scenarios that Frank had going through his head right now. How it could go. Many ways went well in his head, talking to this guy who would probably enlighten Frank at the same time. Someone who was years above him. Far much more experience in life. Wiser, just, that was what Frank was nervous about. Not knowing what to expect right now. He knew that he could easily fuck up the golden opportunity that he had been given, but really, he was trying to be positive. He was trying to be confident, even though everything was going against him right now. The location, the time, the fact that his stomach was churning, not just because he was nervous, but because he had been so nervous this morning that he couldn’t even contemplate having food before this interview.

 

“You okay there sweetheart?” Ryan asked, watching the way Frank was looking out of the car, eyes not really moving until he spoke. Frank blinked then. Ryans question registered in his head and it made his eyes flicker, breaking focus away from the restaurant. Frank turned to look at him, seeing the smile that he was giving him. As much as the nerves were trying to knock him down a peg or two, he still tried to smile back at him, trying to show confidence right now, even though Ryan could tell from the weak expression that he was in fact nervous.

 

“Yeah,” Frank nodded quickly, turning his attention back to the restaurant outside of the car. Across the street from where he was right now. He knew that he could tell Ryan that he was nervous about this, letting him into his head a little so at least he had some support. But Frank didn’t want to make it worst. He believed that he had this. He kept telling himself that he in fact did, so choosing to tell Ryan that he was okay was the safest option. The one option that would stop Frank from wondering if he could actually do this or not, “I’m good.”   
  
“Y’know,” Ryan said to him, watching Frank, watching the way that he was looking out of the car, like he was casing the joint from the outside. His hand was holding onto the door handle and even Ryan could see the way Frankie knuckles were turning white. His nerves were showing to Ryan, even if he was saying that he was okay, “It’s okay to be nervous.”

 

“I'm not nervous.” Frank lied, not looking at Ryan while he said that. He knew that if he made eye contact with him then Ryan would be able to read him like a book. Know full well that he was nervous to the point that he could take even bring himself to open the car door. Why hadn't he looked up this guy? He had done research, of course he had, but he had no idea what this congressman looked like. He could have been in the restaurant already and Frank had no idea. He could have been waiting patiently for him, not realising that Frank was having a small crisis in the car that was parked opposite where they were supposed to meet and talk. Waiting for him while Frank chewed on his lip, trying to bring enough courage for him to even consider stepping out of the car.

 

“I can tell that you're nervous,” Ryan chuckled, reaching a hand across the car to try and get Frank's attention. He rested his hand on his thigh, giving him encouraging affection, but it didn't work. Frank merely jumped in his seat, wondering if Ryan was trying to give him some sort of heart failure right now, “Frank,” Ryan flinched back, having not wanted to startle him, “Take a breath.”

 

Frank did just that, taking in a lung full of air, but it did nothing to calm him down. It was just a bodily function that Ryan had told him to do. He didn't get how people telling him to breathe was supposed to calm him down. The act of breathing, Frank really didn't want to think about how this was supposed to calm him down, especially when his career path was currently sat teetering, dependant on how well this interview was going to go.

 

Hopefully well. Frank was hopeful nonetheless, but still, he knew that it could easily go wrong, or something could happen to jeopardise the interview, or anything could happen. One small thing going wrong and Frank felt like it was all going to go so horribly wrong.

 

“Wanna talk before you go in?” Ryan asked, wondering if Frank wanted to get a load of his chest before he went in. Take some of the stress of this away. Frank looked at Ryan briefly before looking down at his bag in the footwell. The bag that had his questions in it, even though he had pretty much memorised them by now, going over them over and over again, reading and rereading, making sure that they read perfectly. Making sure that he had this in the bag. In his bag he also had the bare essentials. Notebook, pens, recorder. All that he needed for this. He had everything set up. He was ready for this, but mentally he was really starting to wonder if he could have been more prepared.

 

Not that he wasn't prepared. He had researched well enough over the weekend, it was just the panic setting in. Like he had forgotten something that probably would have seemed so small if this had been just some simple job that had been put on his desk for him to do at work. But this was big and Frank knew that he really couldn't have forgotten anything for this. It had to be perfect. This had to go well.

 

“I just…” Frank started before he stopped himself, wondering if he actually wanted to go ahead and voice how he felt to Ryan. He didn't want to come across as some guy who really didn't have this, he just had his fears and Frank felt like that was probably completely normal with how big this was to him right now, “I really don't want to fuck this up.”

 

“You're not going to fuck this up,” Ryan reassured him with a roll of the eyes, “Frank, you've got this.”

 

“I don’t want him to think I’m stupid,” Frank voiced one of the many fears that were starting to crop up in his head right now, “What if, all this hard work I’ve done...he just thinks that it's stupid.”

 

“He won’t,” Ryan reassured him, “You are not stupid. He won’t think that this is stupid.”

 

Frank nodded, feeling somewhat better about it. The mere reassurance coming from Ryan allayed his fears. But still, Frank worried, even as he tugged on the sleeves of the jacket he was wearing. The outfit that Ryan had helped him pick out before bed last night. Frank had no idea about how he was supposed to dress for this. Of course he couldn’t just turn in the clothes that he wore around the house, Frank knew that at least. It was just that he hadn’t had an idea about how he should look for this congressman. Thank god Ryan was there for him. Thank god Ryan had picked out an outfit for him, telling him that he needed to be smart. Frank had thought this morning that he did look smart as he threw on the outfit. The white t shirt and black jumper worked well, especially with his black jeans and the smart black sneakers that he was grateful that he owned. Ryan had picked out his jacket too. Frank had worried that it was too casual, the worn out black jacket was a bit worn around the edges, but Ryan had said that it would be perfect. Frank went with it because at least Ryan had decent fashion sense, it was just the one thing that was bothering Frank right now.

 

Frank had been annoyed with himself because when he was getting dressed, half dressed with his t shirt and jumper on, readying to get his jeans on, he realised that he hadn't got a single clean pair of socks to his name. Annoyed, he knew that all of his socks had somehow managed to sink their way to the bottom of the washing hamper in their room. He had toyed with the idea of just throwing on a dirty pair, seeing as it probably wouldn't matter because they would be hidden underneath his jeans and covered up by his sneakers. But when Ryan found him digging into the hamper, cursing under his breath about not making sure that he had clean black socks for today, he offered to help him out, tossing him a pair of his own socks that he could wear.

 

That was the thing though. Frank felt so self conscious about the socks that Ryan had given him. He was the kind of person that preferred to show his ‘other’ side through the socks that he wore. So plain and bland, yet Ryan always wore a shock of colour on his feet. The shock of colour that Frank felt so self conscious about right now. Pastel pink socks with little pineapples on them. 

 

They weren't exactly formal socks and right now, Frank felt like they were so bright against the dark clothes he was wearing that he wished that Ryan hadn't walked in on him raiding the washing hamper, smelling his own socks to find the pair that had the least funk to them. 

 

He really hoped that this congressman wasn't going to judge his intellect just because he was wearing bright and playful socks. If that was the case then Frank knew that he was going to be well and truly screwed. He just hoped that congressman Way really wasn't going to be paying attention to what he was wearing, more painting attention to what he was going to ask him.

 

“I just,” Frank stuttered for a moment, wondering if he wanted to bring up what was bothering him. He didn't want to hurt Ryan's feelings because he had done a nice thing. He had saved Frank from the possibility of wearing a pair of days old socks, it was just that the gesture was wearing a little thin, especially when Frank wished that he wasn't wearing them, “I just hope that I look okay for this.”

 

“You look fine.”

 

“Am I smart enough?” Frank asked the same question that he had asked Ryan several times before they both left the house. He felt the need to repeat the question, even after Ryan had driven him to his destination. Just ask the question once more, get that reassurance that he looked okay. He had to look okay. He had to look the part. Look professional enough. Just the socks, that was the only part about his outfit that was really bothering him now, making him tug on the knees of his jeans a little, “I mean, the whole outfit...it looks okay doesn't it?”

 

“Of course it looks okay.” Ryan told him.

 

“So nothing stands out as...too garish or totally out place, like, say...the socks?”

 

“What is wrong with my socks?” Ryan asked, frowning, wondering why in the world Frank was picking on the one thing that he had let him borrow so he didn't end up having to wear socks that probably would have stunk out the restaurant. He knew what Frank was like with letting his socks fester at the bottom of the hamper for at least a week or so.

 

“Nothing,” Frank said nicely, even though the wince on his face gave away the fact that this was more than nothing, “It's just...they may be a little too bright.”

 

“But they're my lucky socks. I gave them to you so you would have good luck today.” Ryan pouted, “I was doing a nice thing.”

 

“And it was a nice thing-” Frank cut himself off, wishing that he hadn't brought them up in the first place now, choosing to ignore the bright colours and the little fruits that patterned the fabric, “Just forget I said anything.”

 

“Do you have a problem with my socks?” Ryan pushed his questioning, making Frank groan because god, he wished that he hadn’t brought up the socks at all now. Just ignored them, hoping that Congressman Way wouldn’t see them, or at least wouldn’t notice if Frank felt the need to make sure that they were covered up, trying to do it as discreetly as possible but in the ending just drawing attention to them. The sickly bright socks that Frank wished he wasn’t wearing right now.

 

“I do not have a problem with your socks,” Frank reassured him, laying it on a little thick just to appease Ryan. Ryan sat there, looking like he was about to have a small huff over the socks. But today wasn’t about the socks. Frank wished that he had never brought them up because right now they didn’t matter. What really mattered was when Frank checked his phone and saw how little time he had left, “I’ve got a few minutes…”

 

“You’re going to be fine.” Ryan smiled at Frank. As much as Frank was doubting himself and doubting his ability and that he was going to be able to do this, and do this well, Ryn knew that Frank was going to do this well. More than well. He was going to sail through this interview and come out of it with a big grin on his face, so proud of the fact that he had actually done it and had actually held it together. Like Ryan knew he would. Frank was always good at what he did, even when he was currently sat next to Ryan in the car, looking out at the restaurant while he pulled his bag out of the footwell.

 

“You’re confident.” Frank snorted, rolling his eyes at Ryan. He was far too confident right now. Frank almost felt jealous over the fact that he was so damn confident for him. If only he could be as confident as Ryan was right now, then this interview wouldn’t currently be beginning to make Frank wish that he hadn’t taken this opportunity up when it was offered to him. He had had confidence then so even he knew that there had to be some confidence in him somewhere, even though right now he couldn’t find it.

 

“I am, because I know you can do this,” Ryan told him. Frank felt the urge to fight back for a moment, his nervousness taking charge in the last few minutes before he would leave Ryan, get out of the car and have to face what he had to do, but he didn’t. Frank watched Ryan. Yes he did fight back the eye roll as well because he swore that him and Ryan were just going round in circles now. I can’t do this yes you can do this. It was easier to just sigh and listen to him. Listen to Ryan continuing because he heard Frank sigh and he knew that he had to say something to him. Knock him out of this nervous state that he was in because even Ryan knew that this wasn’t how Frank was usually, “You say that you are nervous, but I know that you can do this. Whatever you have ever been given to do, be it work or something different, you have dealt with it. You are always confident with what you do Frank. You’ve got your head screwed on so you really don’t need to worry about him thinking that you’re stupid.”

 

“Thanks.” Frank muttered out, smiling at Ryan.

 

“I think that we both know that you can do this,” Ryan continued, looking Frank right in the eyes. Yes, Frank knew that he  _ could  _ do this, it was just that his nerves were being a right bitch and for the life of him he couldn’t even bring himself to open the car door. Those nerves were what was bringing him down a peg or two. Confidence knocked, confidence which Ryan was trying to pull back to the surface from deep inside Frank. He knew it was there, he just knew he had to help Frank find it in him, “You’re just not looking at it positively. Remember, this is a good thing. You got given this opportunity because it wasn’t that they are trying to test you. They know that you can do this too. You are going to do so well with this. Trust me, because I trust you with this.”

 

“Honestly, thank you Ry,” Frank blushed lightly because he hadn't expected him to come out with something as sincere as that. He knew that Ryan knew him far too well, sometimes better than Frank knew himself when it came to situations that challenged him, and this situation had practically called for a dash of honesty like that from Ryan. Frank smiled that him, reaching a hand across to hold Ryan's, squeezing it gently, affection between the two of them calming Frank more now, “Feel like I needed that.”

 

“Glad that I could have helped then,” Ryan smiled before checking the time, “Shouldn't you get going? It's nearly nine.”

 

“Probably,” Frank nodded, drawing in a shaky breath, finding at least some form of confidence right now as he glanced back out of the passenger window, taking one more look at the restaurant before turning to look back at Ryan, “You gonna wish me luck babe?”

 

“You've got all the luck you need,” Ryan spoke, looking down purposely, making Frank groan softly as he remembered why he has been given a certain shade of sock that just seemed a little too much for a formal interview, “But still, good luck.”

 

“Thanks,” Frank said, breaking the distance between the two of them to place a kiss on the corner of Ryan's lips. Love yous were spoken before Frank finally got the car door open. Pulling his bag with him, he got out of the car, sliding the bag onto his shoulder, “I’ll see you when I get home.”

 

“Then you can tell me how well it went.” Ryan said before they both said their goodbyes.

 

That was when Frank suddenly felt the nerves creeping back up inside of him. Like he had pushed them down to his feet after what Ryan had said to him. Once the car door was shut and Frank heard the sound of Ryan driving away behind him, that was when he could feel it all building up in him again. The nerves. They weren't as bad as when he was sat in the car, no. He felt like he had them somewhat under control, but it was the little things that were worrying Frank as he started to make his way over the road to the restaurant. The little things that probably wouldn't seem like big mistakes in other situations, but this was a big deal and Frank knew that the slightest thing that could go wrong would easily change the interview. It could all go so horribly wrong.

 

It wasn't even like he was interviewing a local person who was a nobody to the bigger papers out there. No, he was about to take interview a congressman and even though Frank had finally grabbed firmly onto his confidence as he got closer to the entrance of the restaurant, he still worried. He was interviewing such an important person, the slightest mistake and Frank knew that there would probably be no recovery from it.

 

Not that he tried to focus on that. He kept his mind on the positives and the positive outcome that would be a perfect interview at the end of the day, even as he finally grabbed hold of the restaurant door, opening it, taking the first step inside. This was it. The moment that he had been working up to all weekend.

 

The small restaurant was quiet, just as Frank had expected that it would be at nearly nine am. With a name like The Brunch Spot, Frank could imagine that this was the kind of place that got busy before and around lunchtime. Right now there were a few people seated, having breakfast which they served, but it was relatively quiet. It calmed Frank to a degree. If it had been busy then that would have added to his nervousness. Trying to concentrate in a bustling and busy restaurant, he worried that it would have made it harder for him. Too many distractions. Frank did not want that, especially when his main focus was going to be the man that was going to be turning up any moment now.

 

Or was possibly already here. Frank wished that he had checked this congressman out over the weekend. Found out what he looked like because Frank was scanning the restaurant, looking at the tables that were taken, wondering if he was here already. He had no idea if he was here and Frank had hoped to arrive first. He didn't want to keep the busy congressman waiting.

 

A waitress came over to where Frank was standing, drawing his attention to her after he had been eyeing one of the tables. A man was sat there, older, in a suit, eating breakfast while reading a newspaper. Frank had wondered if it was him, mentally cursing himself if it was because clearly this guy had been here a while if he was already eating breakfast and passing the time by reading a newspaper. Frank smiled nervously at the waitress when she spoke to him, “Welcome to The Brunch Spot. Would you care for me to seat you and bring you over a menu?”

 

“Uh no,” Frank stuttered, trying to remember what Brendon had said to him over the phone, “I have a reservation under the name, um, Congressman Way?”

 

Frank had no idea why he made it sound like he was questioning. He knew the reservation, it had been pinned to his fridge since the phone call. A constant reminder every time he went to the fridge to get something. The stupid sunflower magnet of Ryan's holding it up for him. Like he would ever forget what he was doing, but still, Franks nerves were definitely attempting to do a number on him right now as the waitress looked at him. Somewhat startled, but she still grabbed two menus, smiling at Frank before she pointed towards a set of doors, “Right this way sir.”

 

Frank followed the waitress through the restaurant, clutching the strap of his bag against his chest. He breathed a sigh of relief when they passed the table where the man in the suit was sitting, eating his breakfast while reading the newspaper. It wasn’t him. Frank was grateful of the fact that it wasn’t who he thought he was. At least there was still a chance that he had arrived here first. He hoped that he had got here before Congressman Way just because he wanted to come across as more prepared than he was. Even though he was prepared, but the idea of walking up to their reserved table, coming face to face with the person that he was going to be questioning for the next short period of time, Frank hoped that he could prepare himself more at their table before he even got there.

 

The waitress led Frank to a side door, holding it open for him, saying to go this way. Frank frowned, stepping outside, unsure of why their reservation had been placed outside in the small seating area. There were few tables, not as many as there were inside, dotted around, leaving Frank weaving between the wooden tables with the waitress. He wondered where he was going to be seated, looking at the tables with the cloths laid out over them, salt and pepper dotted the tables along with an ashtray in the middle of each of them. Some were situated underneath large umbrellas, providing shade from the morning sun, but the waitress stopped by one of the tables near the black Iron fence that lined the outdoor area. Her hand rested on one of the chairs, asking Frank if he wanted to order a drink while he waited.

 

“Coffee, with milk, no sugar, please.” Frank smiled at her, sitting down, setting his bag on the floor next to his seat while the waitress laid the menus out on the table.

 

“Coming up.” She told him, disappearing off a second later. It was then that Frank sat there for a second, taking in the moment. It all coming to a head in a calming way. He was still nervous, but there was a sense of clarity right now. Ryans words rang out in his head as he reached into his bag, pulling out what he needed, laying his notebook, pens and recorder on the table next to the laid out cutlery, assuming that he was going to be eating. Frank honestly couldn't stomach food right now. Even though he all of a sudden felt calm because he was here and he knew that he could do this, there was still the part of him that was doubting how this was going to go. 

 

He looked in his notebook, going through the questions he had drawn up over the weekend while he waited for his coffee to arrive. Even then his nerves were starting to show more. As he read through the questions slowly, making sure that they made sense, making sure that he hadn't written them wrong, instantly leading him to a possible slip up when he read them out, he was holding his pen between his fingers, twitching, tapping the pen against the table while his bottom lip was pinched between his teeth. The nerves slowly bubbling away under his skin, trying to surface as he continued to tap the pen against the table repeatedly.

 

His notes were perfect, he breathed a sigh of relief with that. The notes had been perfect before, when he had read them through for the fourth time before the book went into his bag last night. The confidence was in him with that part, the main point of why he was here. The thing was though, as the waitress brought out his coffee, asking him if he wanted to order any breakfast, which Frank declined almost immediately, he could still picture it going wrong somehow. Some minor slip up that Frank swore would easily cost him the interview, or make Congressman Way question his integrity. Something so stupid, but it couldn't have been stupid if Frank was worrying about it, picking his mug of coffee up, taking a sip.

 

A few moments passed, the waitress came back outside, asking Frank if he wanted to order any food. He declined, really not feeling very hungry right now while he waited. Any moment now Congressman Way was going to be here and the idea of eating before all of this was turning his stomach. God was he going to eat when this was all over. Probably stick around once he was gone, ordering an early lunch. Brunch even. And he was in the perfect place for it.

 

Frank lost himself in his head for a short while. It felt like ages in his head as he tried to imagine how this was going to be. How he was going to come across when he questioned Way. He didn’t want to come across as a bit of a know it all, even though Frank knew that this kind of stuff interested him so of course he was going to be a bit what he didn’t want to be, just because he had an interest. He also didn’t want to sound stupid, stumbling over his own questions which he kept reciting in his head while he waited, drinking his coffee. He hoped that he wouldn’t stutter and stumble on his words. The very thought of doing that, he worried that he wouldn’t sound confident at all. He worried that Way would probably end up judging him, wondering why this kid had been sent to question him.

 

He didn’t want to be seen as a stupid kid. He knew what he was doing, just getting it out and getting it out perfectly to a very important man, that was what Frank was hoping he would be able to do, sitting in his own bubble at the table, waiting, unaware of the fact that someone had walked out into the area where he was sitting. Totally unaware of the fact that it wasn’t the waitress coming out to see if there was anything else he wanted while he was waiting. Totally unaware of the fact that the person who had come out was coming towards him.

 

“Frank Iero?” He heard. His own name didn’t register for a second to he realised that someone was talking to him. Someone who already knew his name. Frank looked up from his notes, frowning because he wasn’t expecting to see anyone other than Congressman Way. Plus he wasn’t expecting to see anyone who would full name like that. Some guy. Frank frowned, looking up to see a man stood by the table, one hand in his pocket, other hand held out like he was expecting Frank to take it.

 

It then took Frank a second to realise who the man was that was standing by his table. The man dressed in the smart black suit, wearing sunglasses with a shock of orange hair that really caught Frank by surprise. Everything about the person that stood in front of him too Frank by surprise. Not just because he was actually here already, but just, Frank was finding himself a little lost for words right now as he went to stand up, pushing his chair back against the decking, extending out his own hand to shake Congressman Ways.

 

He really wasn’t what Frank had expected. Really so far from what he had imagined in his head. He knew that he was thirty six, but Frank had built up this imagine in his head of some regular looking guy, or maybe not even regular. Just some guy who was probably wiser beyond their years, looking older than they actually were, but no. That was not how he looked though. Stood in front of Frank, practically taking his breath away and melting his thoughts, his mind too scattered to construct anything coherent to say to the spectacle of a man that had finally arrived.

 

“Yes,” Frank finally answered, spitting out a far too simple answer, but from the moment that his expectations had been blown out of the water, he was thrown off guard. He had been preparing for a completely different type of person. Not someone who really looked like they could have had any other profession than the one they were in. The title seemed weird to Frank now, but it didn’t at the same time. He just didn’t seem like the kind of guy who would have gotten into politics, but something about him. Maybe it was the way he seemed to ooze confidence as he released Frank's hand, pulling the empty chair opposite Frank out. Just something about him struck Frank and it rang so clearly. The vibes from him as he shrugged the black suit blazer off and rested it on the back of his chair. Frank felt even more surprised for a second. For a man of his status, Way really was appearing as a man who probably had more hidden than he let on, including the shirt which was the reason as to why Frank was surprised. A white shirt with faded large polka dot spots. Not exactly what he thought he would be wearing. More the crisp white, pristinely ironed shirt with the black tie. Not the dotty shirt which really was just making Frank lose his train of thought for a second, veering off into another direction before he steered back on track, getting those vibes from him again. Frank couldn’t put a finger on it, but there was something about him that gave off an almost powerful vibe. The control he probably had, Frank felt like his head was going to spin as he finally addressed him, “Congressman Way. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

 

“The pleasures all mine,” He said, taking a seat, smiling at Frank who was still stood up, feeling a little dumbfounded right now. All of his planning was hanging on for dear life in his head. Because he was so stunned about the fact that the person sat in front of where was stood was so not what he expected, so surprising, so remarkably surprising, Frank found himself trying to get a grip back on the situation, “You can sit down Frank.”

 

Frank did instantly, the command grounding him back down into the moment, pulling him away from the shock, bringing him back into reality as he sat down, pulling his chair back in. Frank didn’t see it, unaware, but Way was watching him from behind his sunglasses, noticing the blush that was lightly smattering his cheeks. The way his eyes looked down at the table. Gerard cocked his head to one side slightly, taking note in his head, a smirk playing on his lips because of Frank.

 

“Thank you for taking the time to do this,” Frank said, reaching for his coffee, taking a sip, hoping that he was hiding the shake of nerves that had made itself known inside of him. This was happening right now and Frank was trying his best to focus. It was all he had to do, focus because he could not lose sight of why he was here and why he had actually gotten this Congressman to meet him. It was just hard though, especially when Frank could not take his eyes off the bright hair that really was drawing his attention too. Such a shade of orange that Frank swore he would never have expected to see on a Congressman. Orange wasn’t even a strong enough word for Frank right now. It didn’t seem to sit right in his head. For a writer, which Frank hoped that he was, at least a good enough one when it came to his job, anything else could have been more fitting for the shade that was really making him not want to break eye contact for a second. Not even eye contact, he couldn't make eye contact with Way right now. The sunglasses were hiding his eyes, making Frank wonder if he was actually looking at him or not. The wonder making Frank's stomach churn, but his hair. Orange just wasn’t enough to Frank. It was like the last shot of vermillion in the sunset before nightfall, like bright embers hidden in the wood of a campfire. Mesmerising to the point that Frank could feel himself staring and immediately he dropped his eyes down, looking at the paper he had set out in front of him on the table, “I...I understand that you are a busy man.”

 

“Well yes, I am,” Way commented, picking up the menu that had been placed on his side of the table, quickly scanning it before dropping it back down, “But I was happy to make time for this.”

 

Frank smiled at that, feeling a little calmer because he had said that he was ‘happy to make time for this.’ Frank didn't feel like he was completely wasting his time now. Wasting a congressman's time as he thumbed through his notes, “So do you want to start now or-”

 

“A moment please,” Way told him, pausing him with a hand up. The words halted on Franks tongue instantly, his mouth closing as Way turned to smile at the waitress that had come over to their table, asking him if he wanted to order anything, “I'll get a black coffee please, maybe some breakfast. Frank, are you eating?”

 

“Oh,” Frank stumbled, a little surprised about the fast that the person he was going to be interviewing was showing an interest in what he was going to be doing while he fired questions at him, “Probably not.”

 

“Are you sure?” Way pushed, “Breakfast is one of the most important meals of the day.”

 

Frank wondered if he should have just told Way that he had already had breakfast before he left to come here. But seeing as he hadn't felt hungry due to what he was going to be doing today, who he was going to be talking, he just felt himself shaking his head. He couldn't bring himself to just lie and get away with it. The very thought of watching Way eat was making his stomach start to realise that he was in fact hungry and his nerves had subsided enough to let him eat without having horrible repercussions afterwards, “I haven't eaten yet. I wasn't hungry this morning.”

 

“You must eat something,” Way practically instructed, “You can't do an interview on an empty stomach.”

 

“I’ll be fine.” Frank tried to reassure him, drinking a mouthful of his coffee, but Way wasn't having it.

 

“I insist, eat,” He said, his voice a little firmer this time round before he turned to smile at the waitress again, “I'll have the poached eggs on brown toast, please. Frank? What will you have?”

 

Frank picked up the menu that was in front of him, briefly scanning over it before he dropped it back down, “Honestly, I’m not hungry.”

 

“Now Frank, I can’t be the only one out of the two of us eating.” Way tilted his head, looking at Frank over his glasses. A look that made Frank squirm in his seat, almost feeling like he knew that he didn’t exactly have a choice. Way was insisting and there seemed to be no way out of it. Frank had to eat.

 

“Fine,” Frank sighed, giving in because it was easier than arguing with this man. Plus he didn’t want this whole thing to start of badly because the two of them had been bickering over Franks need to eat, “I’ll have…” Frank started, looking back over the menu again, “I don’t know...eggs benedict, please.”

 

“More coffee?” The waitress asked.

 

“Maybe a pot, thank you,” Way smiled at her, handing his menu over before leaning back in his chair. The waitress hurried away then, saying that their food would be with them soon and that left Frank wondering if he could actually bring himself to look at the man that was probably watching him right now from the other side of the table, from behind his sunglasses, “You don’t have to look so nervous Frank. I don’t bite.”

 

“I’m not nervous,” Frank said probably a little quicker than he should have done. Of course he was nervous, he had every right to be nervous as this man who really was doing some phenomenal number on his head already watched him. Watching him from behind those dark sunglasses too. It was unnerving to say the least, especially when he was first naming him already. Frank hadn’t even gotten round to an introduction because Way had just arrived and had gone and said his name when he was stood by the table far too confidently and how was that such an attractive thing, even if the naming already had thrown Frank a little, making him want to question, “I just...how did you know that I was Frank? How did you know that I was the person you were expecting to meet?”   
  
“Well,” Way chuckled softly, leaning forward, resting his elbows on the table, fingers linking together. His chin resting on top of them, giving Frank a side curl of a smile, “I like to know the people in my district.”

 

Frank blinked at that. His mouth opened to respond, but nothing came out. A wave of confusion passed over him before the thought of him already knowing who he was before he even arrived washed over Frank. Like a chill down his spine, Frank felt somewhat disturbed over the fact that Way might have already known him. Known about him. What if he had done a background check on him before he even met up with him. The idea scared Frank a little bit, making him wonder how much the Congressman already knew about him. A small noise left Frank, a cross between an oh and a muffled huh. He just continued to blink at Way, unable to say anything to him.

 

Frank was immediately confused when Way let out a laugh, shaking his head slightly, leaning back again in his chair, “What? What’s so funny?”   
  
“I was messing around with you. Trying to break the tension,” Way told him, continuing to smirk as the waitress brought over a pot of coffee and another mug, “My assistant showed me the paper that you work for. Your picture is in the paper, above your column...which also has your name on it.”

 

“Oh, yeah...of course,” Frank said, feeling relief wash over him because clearly Way hadn’t looked him up and scrutinised who he was and what he did. He just knew because of his work. It wasn’t like he had gone and Googled him like Frank had done in preparation for this interview. That probably would have been an awkward thing if he had done. Or unless he had other ways to find out about Frank. He had such power with who he was, he probably had other means of finding out about Frank, knowing more about him than Frank would have been comfortable with. But it was okay. He hadn’t had a background check done on him. He hadn’t had his personal life searched with a fine tooth comb. Just an ice breaker. A weird one at that, “I didn’t think.”

 

“Don’t look so scared Frank,” Way spoke calmly, his words warming and surprisingly calming for Frank. He nodded at him, watching him pour a coffee out, spooning sugar into the mug before he took a sip, “I’m also glad that you agreed to meet here.”

 

“How so?” Frank frowned.

 

“I expect that you thought that this was going to take place in my office.” He said, bringing what Frank had wondered to his attention.

 

“I had wondered why you had chosen to do this at a restaurant to be honest.” Frank replied.

 

“I see this as a much more comfortable setting to do this in,” Way began explaining, stirring his spoon slowly in his coffee, “Instead of doing this in such a regimented manner in my office, I thought that it could be lighter. Less clerical, more...convivial.”

 

Frank had no idea what the congressman had just said. His words sounded like another language to him. Words that Frank didn't know if he should have asked Way what he meant by them. Frank didn't want to sound stupid if he asked to repeat himself in a way that he would understand. So Frank just nodded, humming in agreement, making out that he was totally on board with what Way had said to him. 

 

“So why did you pick this place?” Frank continued to question, his general curiosity starting to take over. It wasn't that the restaurant was sub par, it wasn't even like it was some fancy place that Frank could totally see this guy dining at. It was just that it was some random restaurant that Frank knew he had driven past on so many occasions. The most unusual place that Way really could have picked for them to meet at.

 

“Well, publicity is always good,” Way chuckled softly, “People seeing me out and about, engaging with the public. But also…” He paused, taking a sip of his coffee before he leant in closer to Frank, “I assume that some people would stir up chatter if we went to some classy restaurant. They would judge based on money and power and all sorts of things like that. If we went to some run-down cafe then they would start a  kerfuffle , saying that I’m trying too hard to fit in with the general public. Plus the food here is amazing.”

 

“Are you trying to fit in with the general public?” Frank asked, wondering, especially seeing as Way had brought it up. He wouldn’t have thought it if it hadn’t been mentioned, but he had to go and say something about it. He had sparked curiosity in Frank because even though he knew who he was and he knew how much power his job entailed, he hadn’t really considered him as much different from anyone else who had an important profession.

 

“Some people may think that,” Way spoke, “In some ways I am, but what it boils down to at the end of the day is that I am just like everyone else. I am just another man. Yes, my job means that a certain amount of people have certain expectations of me, but I’m just the same as, say, you Frank. I do my job, just like you do. It doesn’t make me any different.”

 

“Your salary must make you stand out from the crowd to a degree though,” Frank brought up, wondering if he was going a bit below the belt with bringing up his earnings. Frank had seen how much an average Joe of Congress made. As much as he knew not to bring money into this, he was just curious, “Your wife must be happy. Not just because of the money, but the lifestyle that it may incur.”   
  
“My wife?” Way frowned for a second, wondering where Frank was going with this. He was being clever, he took note of this. He definitely wasn’t what Way had expected. He assumed that someone would have sent him with pre selected questions that he would follow to the law. But this wasn’t even the interview. Frank hadn’t said that he had started and this kind of questioning was probably going to be kept off the records. More general conversation than questions and answers that were going to be published.

 

“Yeah, your wife...Lindsey?” Frank name dropped, hoping to get some sort of an answer from him, “It must be a lavish lifestyle to a degree?”

 

Way cleared his throat, collecting his thoughts for a second because Frank was getting quite personal. Not the kind of personal that Way would have been offended by. He had no idea. Way just knew that he had to answer or it probably would have seemed suspicious if he refused to answer such a question, “It keeps her happy. But we don’t need money to be happy. We have each other so even though I do have what people may consider a high profile and very important job, I guess she keeps me grounded to a degree. And the lifestyle that came with the job, well, we would be happy no matter how we live.”

 

Frank smiled at that, nodding, finishing off his coffee before reaching for the pot, pouring himself another one because thank god he had something to do right now. Way had answered but he still felt that he had gone a bit too personal with his questioning. He was merely curious. A man like him, it must have been interesting in a way, trying to live a normal life with his wife. Just because of his job, it didn’t mean that his marriage would be any different. 

 

The nerves were showing with Frank again though. holding the pot of coffee, pouring it, it hid the shake in his hands to a degree.

 

“So you two have been married for...how long?” Frank pushed, even though he was nervous. It was like he had dipped his toe into the water with questioning. As much as he didn’t want to push Way too far and have him saying that he was being too personal with his questioning, Frank just wanted to know. Off the records. Not being noted down or recorded. This probably wasn't going to make it into his article, but still, it wasn’t like Frank was questioning about his sex life or something much more private. It was just Frank wanting to know, figure him out more. Way was surprising, more surprisingly attractive than Frank had expected. Of course someone would have bagged him up like that. Lucky woman, Frank thought for a second before he pushed the thought well away from the situation right now.

 

“We have been married for eleven years,” Way commented, really wondering where Frank was going with this now. He was curious too, watching Frank from behind his sunglasses. Seeing the way that he was behaving. His hands had disappeared under the table and he was starting to not be able to keep eye contact. He could tell that Frank was nervous. Probably more nervous now because of what he was asking, “You have such a way with your questioning. Is this interrogation a part of the interview?”   
  
“No no,” Frank piped up immediately, looking at Way wide eyed because he didn’t want this to come across like that at all, “I was just wondering. Trying to get to know you as a person before we begin, sir.”

 

“Ah,” Way nodded, narrowing his eyes because Frank had addressed him as sir. Instantly going more formal than he had been. Maybe he now felt that he had overstepped the line because Way had thrown the questioning right back at him. Trying to get inside of his head to a degree. Figure him out, “Well that is good to know. I didn’t want to find out that your inquisitive nature had an agenda.”

 

“No, honestly,” Frank reassured him, “I was just honestly wondering. Like, how does someone get into politics? I mean for yourself, what made you want to get into it? There must have been a reason or a start off point where you decided that this was the path that you wanted to take.”

 

“Well, I could lie and tell you that I loved all of this from a baby, but honestly, I used to find it all a bit boring when I was a kid. It wasn’t until when I got older that I realised I had some form of an interest in it. I took my business degree when I was younger. I moved on to do my degree in political science, but I nearly threw it all away at one point.” Way went on to explain casually, not taking in how Frank gave him a quizzical look over what he had said.

 

“You nearly threw it all away?” Frank repeated his words, hoping that he would go into more detail.

 

“What with the politics of school that were getting to me, seeing as political science is much harder than business was, I was also experiencing ‘politics’ out of school. At home, it was all becoming too much for me,” Way continued, “I couldn’t cope with the pressure, but I stuck out with it.”

 

“What made you stick to it?”

 

“When I was twenty six, that was when I decided that I wanted to do something about the place I love. Where I come from,” Way told him, “Because one night when I was out, I got mugged. I had everything on me stolen, I was beaten up for possessions. It was a horrible experience that no one should ever have to be subjected to. I knew my area then. It wasn’t exactly crime free, but it made me want to change that. It gave me my fire back. I knew exactly what I wanted to do and dropping out of college was definitely not what I wanted to do after my experience.”

 

“So you stuck it out and became a congressman?” 

 

“Well, not straight away,” Way smirked, “It takes time and a lot of hard work to get to where I am today.”

 

“Still, you made it,” Frank pointed out, “Is there anyone else in your family that followed in your footsteps?”

 

“No,” Way chuckled, “When my parents knew what I was aspiring to be, they assumed that my brother, younger brother, Mikey, would follow suit. He was always a little more away in his own head when we were younger. I was too, but I found a purpose. He however, he didn’t find that and as much as my parents wanted him to turn out more like myself, he chose a different career path.”

 

“What does he do?” Frank queried, wondering if this sibling had a job that was similar, maybe not in politics, but if they were of same blood then he probably had a high power job too. Sibling rivalry to a certain extent, even if Mikey hadn’t wanted to get into politics. Still wanting to do as well, if not better than his older brother.

 

“He had a dream and lets just say, I helped him get the job that he wanted.” Way spoke, drinking his coffee.

 

“How so?”   
  
“Well seeing as my  _ baby  _ brother lacks any sort of work ethic, unless it means that he gains something at the end, I helped him to get to where he is today. Getting him started, noticed, helping him to climb the ladder in his profession.”

 

“What does he do?” Frank asked again, seeing as Way hadn’t really answered the initial question he had given him.

 

“He works in the fashion industry,” Way told Frank, smirking when he saw the way Frank had gone and raised an eyebrow at his answer. Probably really not expecting him to have said a career choice like that, “I know. Hard to believe that we have careers that are practically on opposite ends of the spectrum.”

 

“I just never expected you to say something like that.” Frank admitted, trying to reel in his shock quickly.

 

“Well, it’s true. My brother is currently working on next year's summer line. He did some work with Westwood a couple of seasons ago too.” Way added, knowing that Frank probably wouldn’t want to hear that story in great detail like he had done when Mikey had gone and got himself collaborating with one of his favourite designers.

 

“Who?” Frank blanked, not knowing who Way was talking about.

 

“Vivienne Westwood. She is a British fashion designer.” Way told him.

 

“Sorry,” Frank stumbled, looking down at his hands which he had resting on his lap, “I don’t really know much about fashion. My boyfriend does though.” 

 

“Boyf- Oh, the curly haired boy with all the muted colours. What was his name now, Rory?”

 

“Ryan.” Frank smiled and Way offered a lip curl in response, “He’d have probably known who you meant.”

 

“So Ryan knows of fashion then?”

 

“More than me.” Frank shrugged with a scoff and Way looked him over for a moment in their cultivated silence before a finger came up, pushing his sleek sunglasses up further on the bridge of his nose.

 

“I suppose that explains the socks.” Way smirked, knowing that Frank would get what he had said because he had clearly not known who Westwood was and was in a clear violation of some sort of fashion code. But in fact, he had meant it in not just that way, in another way. Meant it because even he had spotted the wonderfully bright pink socks from a distance. When he had first stepped out into the outside area after being told that Frank was here, he had seen them so clearly. The pastel pink socks with a pattern on them, probably supposed to be concealed by his jeans, but they had most definitely been out on display for the world to spot.

 

Frank was about to bring up something else, trying to ignore that his face was turning red and hot with embarrassment.  How long had he knows, though. Trying on another line of questions to better understand the congressman, but just before he was about to speak, their waitress arrived with their food. Setting their plates down in front of them, Way thanked the waitress with a smile that Frank seriously wondered why it was so possible for him to be easily affected by one smile. He wasn’t even smiling at him but it still got to him, making his stomach knot up a little more than it already was with nerves. He thanked the waitress for his food, picking his cutlery up from the table. Frank looked down at the food, internally groaning because food right now probably wasn’t going to sit well with him, but he didn’t want to offend Way, especially seeing as he had been so insistent that he ate with him. He probably didn’t like eating alone when he had company. Or something else, Frank didn’t want to think on that too much as he began to cut up his food. The sight of the bright yellow sauce on top of the bacon, eggs and muffin, it probably wasn’t going to go down too well. Greasy food on an empty and nervous stomach, at least it was something and at least Way seemed content as he began to tuck into his own breakfast.

 

“So,” Way spoke through a mouthful of food, waving his fork in the air towards Frank while he chewed, “Shall we begin properly now? As much as I said that I was happy to do this, I am still on a tight schedule.”

 

“Of course,” Frank nodded, setting his knife and fork down, adjusting his notes, readying himself because as much as it had began from the moment that Way got to him and introduced himself and had sat down, this was now really beginning. His nerves would just have to battle through right now as he cleared his throat, “I’m ready when you are.” 

  
  



	7. Chapter 6: Showing an Interest in Your Internal Organs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so a few things we didn't mention beforehand is that this story is set in 2015. And also, because this story has actual politics in here, I feel the need to say that the political opinions in here are not mine or Parker's but the opinions of the characters themselves, so please don't be offended if there is something mentioned and you are not for it or whatever. 
> 
> Just thought we better tell you guys is all
> 
> Any errors, apologies, but we think we got them all :)

“Well go on, Frank.” Way set his cutlery down and took a small sip of coffee. He unbuttoned the two cufflink buttons on his white and faded black polka-dotted shirt and began to skillfully, deftly roll up the sleeves of his shirt up to beneath his elbows. Frank nodded quickly and reached down into his bag, pulling out his tape recorder, showing it to the older man across from him, “Professional, I like.”

 

“Okay so.” Frank cleared his throat, clicking the ‘play’ button on the recorder before taking in a shaky breath, noting that there were still eyes on him, “Right. The first question I have for you- well almost all of them- revolve around your health-care campaign and the bill that has recently been put up for congress.”

 

“You pay attention to current politics.” The Congressman smiled, taking another sip, “Impressive.”

 

“ The government has been ‘reforming’ health-care for sixty years- tax breaks for employer- provided health-insurance, do you agree, Mr Way, that Medicare, Medicaid, encouraging HMOs and managed care, and government health-insurance at the state level in Massachusetts, Maine, Oregon are all in plateau. Government health-care has expanded until it is now more than 50% of all health-care spending. Yet after sixty years of government ‘reform,’ the problems with health-care are just getting worse. So why should we believe that even more government is the solution and why you?” Frank asked and he looked at Gerard, who was staring at him, a slow smile spreading on his lips as he steepled his fingers and readjusted.

 

“You really know your politics, more than I expected, I might add. Well to answer your question we have to look at why it would take so long, why it would take sixty years to ‘reform’ as you so structurally put it- the health-care issue. Not many people are aware that there are five hundred and thirty five people in total in Congress and,” Way stopped, cutting a piece of toast, popping it in his mouth and chewing swiftly, “Getting them all to agree on one thing is a highly difficult prospect on it’s own. There are a total of 535 Members of Congress. 100 serve in the U.S. Senate and 435 serve in the U.S. House of Representatives. And as far as your question is concerned, boy, I’m well aware of the ‘reform’ of healthcare that the government is trying to put out and personally I believe that the public should grasp onto the idea of more government and involvement simply because of the statement ‘power in numbers’ and with a higher number, it will be a lot easier to enforce a better constituency in the HMO’s and in Medical care than if there were fewer with a more fastened and impermeable mind-set.”

 

Frank nodded, his cheeks still slightly flushed at the compliment he had received, taking a sip of his coffee before he marked off the question on his notepad, “Second question, Congressman.”

 

“Frank,” he interrupted, making the latter look down, “You can call me Gerard.”

 

“Well- Well not in the interview I can’t.”

 

“Saying Congressman every two seconds is a mouthful, though.” Gerard took another stab of egg into his mouth, “Call me ‘sir’ then, hmm?”

 

“Yes, sir.” Frank replied with a nod, biting his lip, “President Obama keeps telling us that he's not trying to get rid of private health insurance. But the current bill being debated in Congress would require all new insurance policies to be offered through a government-run exchange. In saying this the rates that can be charged and the coverage that has to be provided will be dictated by the government's so-called ‘Health Choices Commissioner.’ Employer-provided health-insurance will fall under the same regulations in five years. In your opinion, sir, how is this insurance going to be "private" if the government controls everything about it?”

 

Gerard eyed Frank from over his sunglasses for a mere pause before clearing his throat, “How many questions are you asking me?”

 

“Twenty.” 

 

“Twenty it is.” Gerard nodded, “Well I personally saw to it when the bill had initially been propositioned, having been an unbiased Democrat in a middle-class district and, well, my exclusive opinion on the matter is that insurance for exclusionary and private citizens will be less focused on economic factors and more on the illness itself, dividend fundage being the key in this instance. It just so happens that the government deems the term ‘private’ in this instant more as anonymous than as ‘fancier’ and less class-orientated.”

 

Frank frowned to himself at the vagueness of Gerard’s answer because yes he did answer but at the same time he didn’t. Physically answering the question without giving a proper answer in true political fashion, “Right- Right yeah. Thank you. Nextly, a video on YouTube shows Barack Obama back in 2003- only twelve years ago- saying that he is in favor of a ‘single payer’ system. The ‘single payer’ is government, so this means he was in favor of socialized medicine. And just a few weeks ago, Barney Frank- one of the Democratic leaders in the House- said that he considers the current bill a step toward ‘single payer.’ So when Obama and the Democrats tell us this bill won't lead to a government takeover of health-care, why should we believe them and what are your thoughts on this “single payer” as the congressman of your district?”

 

Gerard raised his eyebrows as he cut off a triangle of fried egg and toast and bit into it, chewing as he thought, “My personal thoughts on a ‘single payer’ bill, and as a Democrat- is that written in the bill that had been worked on it states specifically that Obama and the rest who are in agreement worked on the specifics of the financial sectors and less on government ‘take over’ as a whole. The simple fact being, Frank, is that healthcare is a difficult quandary for a lot of people to grasp. There were many in Congress who stood against the bill, almost sixty percent as a whole because of the financing and would rather see to it that it would be private capitalisation rather than ‘single payer’.”

 

“Wow…” Frank smiled, “You know a lot about previous bills.”

 

“I like my politics, Frank.” Gerard started on his second slice of toast, “ As do you, I’m impressed by your questions.”

 

“Thank you, sir.” Frank smiled, “ Uh- fourth question. Medicare is broke. Social Security is broke. Federal tax receipts are falling, and Congress has already voted on trillions of dollars of stimulus and bailouts in the last year and I’m sure you voted in agreement, sir. The national credit card is maxed out. So how can you justify voting for a bill that will require even more money that we don't have?”

 

Gerard eyed Frank, pursing his lips. “What are your thoughts on it, Frank?” Frank sat up suddenly at the change in direction of questioning, but Gerard continued, “Are you so sure I voted in agreement to spend, as you call it, trillions of dollars for Medicare when it’s obvious that it’s paying out more legality than actual illness? There are people who are filing lawsuits left, right and center against medical practitioners claiming false detriment and you name it. I personally don’t justify voting on a bill that will only result in a higher tax ratio for the public which will ultimately cause more damage than a proper solution.”

 

Frank was dumbfounded by Gerard’s answer, he was so sure that Gerard would have voted for and not against and he could tell that Gerard could see it on his face, making him fidget, “O- Oh uh…”

 

“Calm down.” Gerard smiled as he took a sip of coffee, “What’s number five?”

 

“The health-care bill that is being discussed includes huge taxes on businesses to force them to provide more health insurance for their employees,” Frank cleared his throat “As well as a whole set of mandates telling health insurance companies who they have to cover and what they have to cover them for. This is an enormous increase of costs for businesses and insurers alike, down to the small corner shops and single owner businesses. Have you considered how they're going to pay for all of this, or whether they will even be able to pay for it? How many of these companies will go out of business or lay off more workers after the government forcibly increases their expenses?”

 

“Hmm…” Gerard set his cutlery down, “Well now, boy, I have in fact considered it many a time and it is definitely an extensive amount to pay for for business, both large and privately, tertiary owned. I suppose some will be able to fork out the necessary while others will not depending on their own marking scheme and how well they did both quarterly and annually. The huge taxes on business for health insurance is a valid request from the government, yes, as well as the mandates but it again, vastly de rigueur for the success of a business. It doesn’t help them cutting costs for something this important and then having their vital employees both on layabout from injury or illness, creating an imperceptible slow down that would cost them more money in the end.”

 

Frank smiled at the end of Gerard’s answer, yet again impressed by the Congressman and the fair point he had made, “Well yeah, I agree with you on that.”

 

“You do?” Gerard smirked, “Good.”

 

“The- The sixth question is,” Frank cleared his throat again, thumbing at the page, “ One of the main demands of the health-care bill is that insurers are required to cover people with ‘pre-existing conditions.’. That's like getting insurance on your car after you crash it. It's just a way of getting someone to bail you out for something that has already happened. This isn't insurance, it's a handout. So doesn't that mean that the rest of us will have to pay more for our insurance to absorb the cost of those handouts and what do you plan to do about it, sir?”

 

Gerard snorted slightly, smirking, “A handout. I like that but I don’t necessarily agree with your initial statement, Frank It doesn’t mean that the rest of the working class will have to pay more for your insurance. It simply means that the people with their pre-existing conditions have not to be discriminated against because of it. It also begs the question of what constitutes a ‘condition’ in the first place. Would it be someone with a susceptibility to colds or would it be someone who is HIV positive? That would mean that the company would have to decide which employee deserves the right to a more in depth insurance than the other and it would almost definitely cause a stir. It doesn’t axiomatically mean it’s a handout but a helping hand in funding those who cannot afford to keep their health in check.”

 

Frank looked down, scowling in annoyance at the way Gerard had checked and rejected his ‘handout’ theory even if he made a fair enough point, “Seven. The health-care bill will mandate what costs insurance companies have to cover. For example, they will have to pay for routine check-ups and physicals, or they will have to provide every woman with maternity coverage. But what if you don't want to pay for that extra coverage? Right now, if you're young and healthy and don't need frequent check-ups, you can save money with a high-deductible insurance that doesn't cover them. Or if you don't want children, or already have children, you can save money by dropping the maternity rider on your policy. By taking those choices away from us, won't this bill actually make our insurance more expensive, not less and why do you think so?”

 

“I definitely think it will lessen the cost for those tax deductibles who decide not to cash in their health insurance costs, giving them more money at the end of the month instead of taking it out of their salary per month. Unless the company itself decides differently, it’s more of a freestanding choice.” Gerard nodded as he set his plate aside, cutlery together, wiping his mouth on his napkin as he lifted a hand, signalling their waitress.

 

Frank looked down, realising he hadn’t even started eating. He set his notebook down and unwrapped his cutlery before cutting into his food, “Sorry I-”

 

“Eat.” Gerard stated simply, “You can read and eat.”

 

“A lot of people have been upset about Congress passing bills that they haven't had time to read- and they haven't even finished writing the health-care bill yet. But what I want to know is, with a bill this big and complex, have you taken the time to read it and understand it?” Frank put a bite in his mouth and chewed on it until it was small enough that he was able to talk and be understood, “ Did you yourself read it? Can you really say that anyone has had the time to figure out how all the parts will work together and what all of the consequences will be? With a bill this big, is it even possible to figure out all of that and really know what you're voting for and what we as the people should vote for when voting for you?”

 

The waitress came over and picked up Gerard’s plate, clearing the table, “Can I get you gentleman anything else?”

 

“I’d love a tall glass of orange juice if you please, dear.” Gerard smiled and she gave a nod, turning and waltzing off before he looked at Frank, who had his wrists resting n the table as he ate, cutlery in hand, “To answer your question, I find it perturbing myself when there are bills passed that haven’t been fully read through which is why I specifically take the time to read them and make sure that I completely and fully understand, discussing it not only with at least three Congress representatives but also with my own campaign advisor. Unfortunately I can’t say that everyone has read through the current health bill as a whole what with a lot of Congress fanning about to keep in the running, a lot of things have been neglected. And I personally think that yes, it is possible to figure out all of it and really understand what’s been voting for if everyone has a complete understanding. I mean sure, not everyone is believable with, say, a past history but many people in Congress are actually working at making the government a more presumable and dependable party.”

 

Frank held back a scoff at Gerard’s words, ticking off the question as a tall glass of orange juice was set down in front of the latter. Frank smiled at the waitress as he swallowed a bite of sauced-up egg and cleared his throat, “Can I get a water please?”

 

“Sure.” She walked off and Frank looked at his notes.

 

“President Obama and the Democratic leadership are making us a lot of promises about what we will get and what we won't get from this health-care bill.” Frank shovelled food into his mouth, chewing as he tried to avoid Gerard’s watchful gaze, “But what is or isn't in this one particular bill is not the end of the story. For example, how many times has Medicare changed over the last forty years? As more and more of us become dependent on the government for our health-care coverage, won't we have to worry about what some future Congress or some future bureaucrat will decide to cover or not cover?”

 

Gerard lifted up his sunglasses, sliding them into his hair, his hazel eyes now on Frank without separation of a black UV lens. Frank stared at him for a moment, swallowing hard before he grabbed the water that the woman had set down and took a massive gulp, chasing his food as ice cubes hit his top lip. 

 

“I can’t say for sure how many times the bill has been changed over the last four decades, I’m assuming a fair amount considering you brought it up. As more and more people become dependant on the government for their health care needs it is viable to add in that this question goes hand in hand with your first one, the reason as to why we want to add to the government, make the bill and the mandates more manageable, each piece given to a representative to focus solely on instead of having mistakes made by a massive workload. The future Congress will have to work on the coverage but it seems that there is an increase this year that has people wondering about whether or not the coverage itself is even worth it, making our job even harder as it were.”

 

Frank nodded, noting the allround vagueness yet again to Gerard’s answer as he put one leg over the other, arms resting casually on the arm rest, still leaned in towards the tape recorder, “That’s- Yeah, that’s good. Uh, okay. Um- Number…. Ten.”

 

“Ah, already half way. A shame really.” Gerard mused, taking his juice in his hands before drinking in a fair sip through the straw, “Go on, boy.”

 

“The defenders of the health-care bill claim that it's going to lead to all sorts of savings, not by actually cutting any services or denying care, but just by finding "inefficiencies" that will save money. Do you think this is remotely plausible?” Frank cut into the last bite of his food, “When has anybody ever said, "This project has to be lean and efficient- let's get the government do it"?” Frank looked up as he asked and Gerard twirled his straw around.

 

“Savings? My dear boy, the entire bill is detremount to the possibility of saving costs rather than again, the high tax breaks. Yeah I suppose lean and efficient sounds good in theory but is it really that good of an idea when you really think about it?” Gerard smiled nonchalantly and Frank set his fork down, wiping his mouth on a nearby napkin, finding himself in admiration of Gerard’s answer, that the politician would seemingly give the public an opinion.

 

Frank looked over at the older man, his head still trying to comprehend that this man was somehow, what, fourteen years older than him? Sure it wasn’t a geriatric stretch but Gerard didn’t seem as old as he was, not by a long mile. He didn’t seem to even have a solid wrinkle to his face, merely indents where his eyes would crinkle or where his forehead would frown. Frank looked him over once more before he realised he was meant to be talking and he went bright red.

 

“One of the ways that has been proposed for government-provided health insurance to save money is by substituting Medicare reimbursement rates for market rates when paying doctors and hospitals here in Jersey. You’re from Jersey as I’ve read and the problem here specifically- and in other districts many private hospitals and medical practices have said that if they have to accept these lower rates, they can't cover their expenses, and they will go out of business. So doesn't this bill guarantee an immediate shortage of doctors and medical services and does it affect not only the lower half like the people in Camden and Trenton and the upper class that reside in Chatham and North Caldwell, not just the people in the middle suburbs?”

 

“Wow, now that’s a question. Good for you, by the way.” Gerard smirked at Frank, who smiled sheepishly as he bit into the last bite of his breakfast, beaming inside that a real and proper politician was giving him kudos, and an attractive one at that, “To be honest, I personally think that if the lower rates are in a per capita and are at a stable percentage that the number of practices and hospitals going out of business will decrease. If a specific percentage is found within each state and kept at a plateau then the hospitals are able to manage it with the market rates that would be implemented. But in saying that, not every state is the same considering in the amount of people and salaries provided and each Congressional district would have to find their own rational percentage to cover the substitution of money for the medical care.”

 

Frank put his cutlery down as he swallowed, pushing his plate away before he grabbed his water and took another refreshing sip, again so unwholly impressed by the Congressman in front of him and some of the ideas he had, suddenly not even doubting why Gerard had made it into Congress, be it thirty six or not, he was a fucking genius.

 

Or so in Frank’s eyes.

 

“Twelve.” Frank gave the waitress a small ‘thank you’ as she took his plate away before he continued, “Medicare cuts costs by paying lower rates to doctors and hospitals, who then shift these costs to those of us with private health insurance, who get charged higher rates. But if the government takes over and starts dictating Medicare reimbursement rates for everyone, who will the costs get shifted to then?”

 

Gerard raised an eyebrow, “Oh uh,” Frank felt smug at the sudden hesitation from the Congressman, watching as he took his sunglasses off from his head, folding them and setting them on the table before he ran his hand through his bright hair, his watch glinting in the sun, “Well I think that the costs would most likely get shifted to a multitude of things. Possible tax hikes for one, government intake is also a high plausibility if the bill stands. It may not be a whole cost but a percentage of it, the other tax perhaps? What are your thoughts on it? You seem to have a keen interest in politics.”

 

“Wh- Me?” Frank blurted out, “Shit I- Oh fuck- Sorry I-” Frank sighed, chuckling slightly when he looked up to see Gerard smirking at him in high amusement, “I just swore in front of a member of Congress.”

 

“You did.” Gerard readjusted, swapping a leg over the other, “A rather foul mouth on you, boy.”

 

“I’m so sorry.”

 

“I think, instead of apologising like that…” Gerard took a sip of his juice again as Frank’s cheeks lit up, “Why don’t you answer my question instead.”

 

“But sir…” Frank tilted his head to the side, “This is all about you.”

 

Gerard eyed Frank for a second with a small smile playing on his lips before he relented, sitting back up again, “Well then I’m holding you to it… Some other time.”

 

“Deal.” Frank grinned, “Now, in a previous interview you stated that when the government starting portraying people in the financial industry as villains and started limiting their pay and subjecting them to more regulations, banks reported a "brain drain" as smart and well-educated people left the industry or went overseas looking for better pay and less stress.” Frank looked up rom his notes to see Gerard nodding, stroking his chin absentmindedly, almost mesmerising, but Frank forced his gaze back down, his stomach overly knotted and tense and it had nothing to do with the food, “But the term "brain drain" was originally coined in the 1960s when doctors and medical researchers left Britain to escape socialized medicine. Aren't you afraid we might see the same kind of brain drain from the medical profession here in America and will it affect not only the civilians but people like you that reside in Congress?”

 

“Oh I have no doubt that America is going to end up seeing the same conditionary circumstances. It’s almost inevitable which is rather unfortunate, to say the least. It does happen every few decades because the countries in question start to see a stagnancy or even a decline and it affects a lot more than people want to realise or admit. Especially if, in this instance, it will hit the medical profession harder than the rest and it will definitely affect not only the civilians but the Congress.” Gerard replied simply and Frank narrowed his eyes slightly, noting yet again that the politician was dodging a proper explanation and it was starting to somehow also impress Frank that he was able to think so quickly on his feet when it came to answering questions that way. 

 

How often did he practice?

 

“Right yeah,” Frank took a sip of water, “Fourteen-”

 

“Frank?”

 

“Sir?” Frank looked up, his eyes locking with Gerard for a second before he- for reasons unbeknownst- looked away, unable to keep his gaze, “Yes?”

 

“How old are you again, if I may?”

 

“I’m twenty two.” Frank smiled cockily.

 

“Oh, to be young.” Gerard sighed dramatically, “I thought you were older, you’re rather bright for your age.”

 

“I’m really not.” Frank snorted, “Ryan calls me an airhead with no air.”

 

“There’s a difference between being smart and being intelligent.” Gerard stated with pretension, “Always remember that. Are you sure you’re only twenty two?”

 

“Old enough to have responsibilities like an adult but also old enough to drink them away.”

 

“You like to drink, Frank?” Gerard cocked an eyebrow and Frank cursed himself internally for sounding so immature.

 

“Well I mean, no not really. Once in awhile I guess. I don’t just drink for the sake of it. I don’t hate it but I don’t go out every weekend and get ass-faced.” Frank bit on the end of his pen as Gerard scrutinised him.

 

“Ass-faced, you say?” Gerard’s amusement sparkling in his eyes again, “Have you ever gotten, how you put it, ass-faced before, Frank?”

 

“This- I- I mean.” Frank felt his ears go read, “This isn’t about my drinking. This is about health care to Congress.”

 

“And as a member of Congress, boy, I care about the people and technically, drinking is bad for your health so my asking is a way of improving the general health care of the district, showing an interest in your internal organs.”

 

“My internal…” Frank trailed off with a laugh, grinning brightly, “What a load.”

 

“It is, isn’t it?” Gerard grinned back, “Ask your next question, boy. I jest.”

 

Frank stared at Gerard’s face and back down at his page, the grin still on his face, “Do you know the meaning and significance of the term "quality adjusted life year"? Quality adjusted life year" is a term used under socialized medicine to determine whether elderly patients are allowed to get expensive drugs or treatments, depending on some bureaucrat's calculation of how many good years they have left. Can you, Gerard Way, assure us that the same thing won't happen here in your district?”

 

“Of course I know the meaning. I mean not in complete detail.” Gerard paused then, frowning in obvious contemplation and thought, mulling as he pursed his lips before continuing, “I think I can, with a scrutiable amount of certainty say that within my own district I will make sure that the elderly patients are allowed to get expensive treatments without running the risk of the taxing and calculations that come with it. It’s in my highest regard to take care of the people who live within my jurisdiction and the elderly definitely fall under that category. I find it appalling that it would happen in the first place, putting a time limit on treatment of a human being.

 

Frank smiled warmly at that, trying not to ‘aww’ at the answer he had just been given, finding it comforting that at least this politician was okay with showing a softer side to him instead of a firm shell that most liked to keep on at all times, almost overbearing, “That’s great.”

 

“You think so?” Gerard asked, his head tilted as he took the straw of his juice into his lips and took a long sip, swallowing as he set the glass back down.

 

“Yeah I do, I totally agree with you.”

 

“I’m glad you do.”

 

“You gave out an idea last year in one of your speeches to the public that one of your proposals for how the government is going to save money is that it's going to have a panel of medical experts who will dictate from Washington D.C about what the proper medical practices are that should be paid for, and what practices are supposedly "wasteful" and "unnecessary." but it seems as though nothing came from it. If it did, however come into effect, won't this mean interfering with decisions that would normally be made by me and my doctor? And won't this discourage innovation by requiring any new idea to get approved by a board of establishment "experts" before a doctor can even try it out?”

 

“Interesting thought, Frank.” Gerard nodded, looking up for a moment with a squint before sliding his shades back on, creating that elusive barrier that Frank didn’t like between them, “I don’t think it would interfere. When I made this proposal I had multiple people look it over before announcing it and that even though there would be a panel of medical experts who would decide, it would still be within that person’s rights to decide whether or not they would like the treatment. It would be a Constitutionary right as a human being to decide on their own health and well-being. It would only be for genuinely serious treatments that the panel would get final say of course, if it were exponentially expensive or risky and whoever is involved would be held liable, would it be worth it?”

 

“Good point.” Frank nodded, taking a small drink of water, “Sixteen-”

 

“Frank?”

 

“Hmm?” Frank looked up to see Gerard turned slightly in his chair, resting on his elbow on the table, supposed hazel eyes on him, hidden from view.

 

“It just occurred to me,” Gerard toyed with his straw, “A thought that is, but I think I’m going to ruminate on it for now. Continue.”

 

“What?” Frank frowned.

 

“Questions.” Gerard waved his hands impatiently, smiling, “Ask away, Frank.”

 

“Oh uh.” Frank looked down at his notes, frowning at the weird interruption before he decided it was best to just leave it be, “Six- Sixteen, Government-run health-care is not some new, untested idea. In Britain, it has led to a "postcode lottery," where the medical procedures you are allowed to get depend on where you live. In Canada, it has led to a shortage of doctors and waiting lists for major surgeries. In America, Medicare ended up costing far, far more than anyone expected. Massachusetts and Maine spent enormous amounts of money to extend government coverage to very few people. The Oregon Health Plan may not cover your cancer treatment- but it will cover assisted suicide. Given all of this experience, what makes you think that somehow this will be the exception that will avoid all of the problems that government health-care has always led to and what are your thoughts not only as a Congressman but as a human being on the difference between cancer and assisted suicide and why do you think it is that way?”

 

“What a rather heavy question.” Gerard replied pointedly and Frank looked at him with a raised eyebrow, “A good question as it were, yes. But all the more morbid. My honest opinion is that, well,” Gerard paused, a tiny fraction of a frown in his dark brows, “I know that there are many stated where assisted suicide is legal, but some where it isn’t. I know that it is legal here in Jersey. It’s a sad factor that one of the reasons is that it’s cheaper. Cancer treatment is an ongoing thing, taking weeks and months to do where it’s expensive. Assisted suicide is a once off thing besides the psychologist visits. There are also a lot more people who need cancer treatment than there are waiting for assisted suicide in many states. Funds come into it a lot more than people realise. I don’t, however think this will be an exception in my jurisdiction whether I or my opponent end up being elected as it is a far bigger and more serious suggestion and intention to bring up than, say, helping with health care and litter in the streets.”

 

“Wh- Really?” Frank was taken aback completely by the honesty of Gerard’s answer, looking at th thin line of the older man’s mouth, the gravity evident rather than the playfulness that had resided there. Gerard was serious, “Shit.”

 

“I know.” Gerard ran a hand through his hair, “I do know.”

 

“I uh,” Frank took a sip of his cold coffee, grimacing slightly before he continued to finish the last bit, “ Mr Way, why does "reform" always mean more government? Are you aware of proposals that have been put forward for free-market reforms of health care? You stated congress has already approved Health Savings Accounts, where individuals buy their own high-deductible health insurance and save money tax-free, which they can use for their out-of-pocket health-care expenses. This gives people more control over their spending on routine medical treatments while keeping them covered for a serious illness, and it allows them to keep their health insurance if they change jobs. But this program has been limited in size. Are you open to ideas like this, for free-market reform of health-care for everyone or for a specific class?”

 

“Of course, I definitely think it’s a good idea, I mean what ideas and schemes don’t have slight drawbacks but out of all of the concepts and approximations, this idea of the Health Savings program has far fewer chances of high taxes and liable legal actions with misconduct involved when people are able to save their own money, especially if it’s tax deductible.”

 

Frank looked up to see Gerard holding the pot, arm outstretched in a silent offer that Frank couldn’t refuse. He smiled slightly, nodding, watching Gerard pour him a cup of coffee, “Thanks.”

 

“Milk, Frank? Sugar?”

 

“Uh… Yeah. And two please.” Frank smiled widely at the gesture, watching Gerard make him coffee with skilled hands, “A lot of doctors say that medical malpractice insurance is what is really driving up health-care costs. Doctors have to charge more to cover their expenses, and they also have to practice "defensive medicine," ordering unnecessary extra tests just to make sure they can defend themselves in court if something goes wrong. So why isn't tort reform- for example, limiting excessive jury awards in malpractice lawsuits- being considered as part of health-care reform?”

 

Gerard smiled as he stirred sugar into the coffee idly, “Jury awards? Hmm.” biting for a moment on his lip before he clinked the spoon on the side of the cup and slide it over towards Frank, “That’s certainly an interesting idea but do you think that the public would fork over more money in their taxes to pay people to do their moral duty as a part of the jury? I don’t think asking them for that on top of what they already consider a high tax percentage would go down well even if it’s for medical malpractice.”

 

“True…” Frank muttered, “Thanks.” He took a sip as Gerard signalled to the waitress for the check before looking at Frank pointedly.

 

“What else have you for me?” Gerard smiled politely.

 

“Two left, sir.”

 

“Good boy.” Gerard smiled, “Go on.” 

 

Frank felt his cheeks warm up and he looked down at his notepad, biting on the end of his pen, “What part of your decision on this bill, if any, is affected by a consideration for liberty, individual rights, and the Constitution? Would you consider opposing this bill for no other reason than because it gives more power to government at the expense of the freedom and property rights of private businesses and individuals? Would you consider opposing it simply because it grants powers to the government that are not authorized anywhere in the Constitution and is that only for your district or nationally?”

 

The waitress wandered over, setting the check down in the middle of the table to which Gerard smiled, letting her take their finished glasses.

 

“A large part of my decision is affected by liberty, I mean it’s what the government is meant to stand for amongst other things of course. Individual rights play an integral part of my decision unless treated unfairly and taken for granted. And as far as opposing the bill if it means less freedom and property rights then of course. I mean I stand by my choice but I wouldn’t think of sacrificing something so important for the public and those involved. Yes it is an important bill to do with health care, private or no, but what would the point be if there were no freedom of public to even make that choice?”

 

Frank nodded in agreement, taking a sip of his coffee, smiling slightly at the moment-back recollection and that he would have to definitely tell Ryan that the Congressman made him coffee. He set the cup back down, “Last question, sir.”

 

“Go on.” Gerard smiled.

 

“Thomas Jefferson said, "A wise and frugal government which shall restrain men from injuring one another, which shall leave them otherwise free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labor the bread it has earned. This is the sum of good government." Notice what is not on his list: government-provided housing, or government-provided food, or government-provided health care. And Jefferson's views on the role of government were widely shared by America's Founding Fathers. So my question is: Please explain where you disagree with the vision of our Founding Fathers, and why. “

 

“Why I disagree? He does make a fair point where he talks about not injuring one another and taking from the mouth of labor. But you are right, there are government-inclined regulations that he fails to mention, rather pertinent ones and I tend to both agree and disagree on it based on the fact that government provided housing is important in any district in need. As well as government -provided food or health care.” Gerard took a small pause, “Yes there should be rations and there should be a limit as to how many and who qualifies but it is something that should have been addressed, if it would have been, it could have saved years- if not decades if induced strife- public or government otherwise.”

 

Frank stared at Gerard for a moment, “That- I mean. Wow yeah.” 

 

“Is that all?” Gerard straightened up and Frank nodded, taking the tape recorder from the table, pressing ‘stop’ before checking the tape and putting it in his bag with his other stuff, “I’m glad that I could have helped.”

 

“You have no idea how grateful I am.” Frank replied when he reached for the check, Gerard’s hand touching his to push him away, making him frown, his hand tingling slightly.

 

“What are you doing?” Gerard raised an eyebrow and Frank stared at him in confusion.

 

“I- Paying?”

 

“And why are you trying to do an inane thing like that, Frank?” Gerard asked as he slid the check towards himself.

 

“I always do.” Frank reached over, sliding the check back towards himself, his other hand already clutching his wallet.

 

“Well. I don’t think so.” Gerard put one long index finger on the edge of the receipt and slid it back with a cocky, confident smirk, “This. Is mine.”

 

“But.” Frank watched it go, still frowning heavily, eyes darting, “But-”

 

“Frank.” Gerard stated simply, making the latter look up at him, “I said no.”

 

Frank sucked in a breath and looked down, looking up to argue when he found Gerard’s firm gaze on him still, unwavering over the rim of his sleek sunglasses. Frank scowled, sitting back in his chair, an unnerving twisting feeling in his stomach as he watched Gerard write in the total before opening his wallet.

 

“There.” Gerard stated with an amused smirk at Frank, “Was that so hard?”

 

“I-” Frank opened his mouth to argue when Gerard began unrolling his sleeves, catching him off-guard as he watched his hands with curiosity.

 

“Oh yes.” Gerard sudden said, making Frank jump, “You’re going to vote, I take it?”

 

“Always do.” Frank smiled slightly, relieved at the subject change.

 

“Good.” Gerard reached back into his jacket pocket before holding his hand out to Frank, who reached out. Gerard placed a button badge in Frank’s hand, “It’s just an electoral badge, no train smash.”

 

Frank looked down at the badge in his hand and couldn’t help the snort that left him, looking up at Gerard, “Really?”

 

“I figured if Richard Nixon can be crude and disgusting then so can I.” Gerard grinned confidently and Frank looked down at the sapphire blue badge and written on it, in a plain font were the words ‘Go all the Way, vote Gerard A.’

 

“It’s brilliant.” Frank chuckled, clutching the badge in his hand as Gerard stood up and took his jacket, shrugging it on smoothly, fixing the collar.

 

Frank took it as a cue and grabbed his bag, stuffing his wallet back in it before he, too, stood up, zipping it closed, making sure he had everything.

 

“Here.” Gerard muttered and Frank looked up to see the latter walk around the table to stand in front of him. Frank looked up at Gerard with a frown as Gerard took Frank’s hand in his, making his hair stand on end and his stomach jump. Gerard opened Frank’s hand and took the badge from him again.

 

He smirked slightly as he unfastened the back and took a step forward, taking Frank’s jacket in his hand. Frank sucked in a breath, noting Gerard’s musky cologne, a deep leathery scent that climbed through his nostrils like tendrils.

 

Gerard placed the pin through Frank’s lapel before fastening it carefully, his hands laying flat on Frank’s chest as he smiled, “There. Very smart.”

 

“Thanks.” Frank whispered, his voice cracking in a mortifying manner, making him clear his throat, “Thanks, sir.”

 

“Oh, anytime, boy.” Gerard took a step back and held out his hand.

 

“Great to meet you.” Frank took Gerard’s hand.

 

“The pleasure is all mine.” Gerard purred as he squeezed Frank’s hand, shaking it firmly, his hand warm against Frank’s. Frank shook his hand in reciprocation as his heart rate shot up through the roof, his mouth drying out as he felt Gerard staring him down over the edge of his glasses.

 

“I-” Frank frowned, Gerard’s fingertips gracing over his wrist before letting go.

 

“I have to go. But I can’t wait to read that interview of yours, Frank. You’ll do many a great things, remember that.”

 

Frank was dumbstruck by the random, sudden praise he had received, offering a faltered smile as Gerard put his hand on Frank’s shoulder for a fleeting moment before walking passed him, sliding with ease around the stuttering mess of a boy before walking through the tables with his head held as high as ever.

 

Frank was still stuttering “I- I- I” as his eyes followed Gerard out of the restaurant. Gerard turned, waving at Frank before he crossed the street. Frank waved back, two seconds too late of course, before flopping back into his chair with a shaky breath.

 

He felt bewildered all of a sudden, unable to place what had just transpired in the past few minutes, hell, the past what- hour? He had no idea what had come over him or why he felt like he was running a fever- or that he had run a mile- but he felt completely unnerved.

 

He looked down at the badge pinned to his chest and up and around him, but Gerard was gone. He let out a small groan, laying his head down on the table with his eyes closed. The politician may have disappeared, but Frank didn’t feel any whim of a better than he should have now that it was over. 

 

Fuck knows, he probably felt paramounts worse for some reason, reasons he couldn’t fathom.

 

He opened his eyes, looking down at his shoes, his feet turning inwards as his stomach did the same thing. His hand still tingled from Gerard’s warm touch, still almost like muscle memory feeling the way the older man’s hand wrapped around his. It was an odd sensation, both warm and safe but not. Overbearing, uncomfortable and totally indiscernible.

 

Just like Gerard.


	8. Chapter 7: Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title for this and the next chapter have nothing to do with the chapters themselves, but it's a thing between Parker and myself and we found it hysterical.
> 
> Any errors, apologies, but we think we got them all :)

Frank walked out of the restaurant feeling like he had been put through one of the greatest workouts of his life. The thing was, this time he had been sat down for the entirety of it all.

Congressman Way had left nearly fifteen minutes ago and Frank had found it almost impossible to leave straight away. After having stood up to thank and bid farewell to him, Frank had found himself falling back into his seat, his head hitting the table with a groan leaving him. The job was done, Frank knew that he should have felt good about it, should have been filled with an overwhelming sense of achievement, but he couldn’t help the feeling that resided in the pit of his stomach. A churning sensation that filled him, making him feel someone uneasy in both a good and a bad way. It was a weird feeling that Frank couldn’t quite put his finger on. Somehow he wanted to understand it more but at the same time he just wanted this morning to be over.

It was over, thankfully. Frank had done what he needed to do. Interview Congressman Way. Do it without screwing it up, even though he still felt bad for the fact that he had gone and cursed in front of him. Having Way call him foul mouthed, that set off the feeling in his stomach again, the good and bad feeling that filled his stomach. It was something that Frank really didn’t want to understand or even begin to comprehend right now. All he knew was that he wanted to leave. Finish his coffee and get the hell out of the restaurant. He no longer needed to be there, but what he was going to do for the rest of the day, Frank hadn’t a clue as he downed the last of his now cold coffee. Ryan would have been at work right now. Frank knew that he was going to have to make his own way home now.

But going home early just seemed boring. Even as Frank left the restaurant, thanking the waitress as she chimed to him ‘see you again soon’, he knew that he didn’t want to just go home and spend the rest of his day doing god knows what. Yes, he would have to write up the interview, but he wanted to just relax after what he had gone through. De-stress, not add on to it by going home to work some more.

He stood outside the restaurant, one hand holding onto the bag that he had slung over his shoulder, the other hand stuffed into his jeans pocket. Frank let out a huff of a sigh, wondering what he was going to do with the rest of his day. How could he pass the time now when all he had done for the morning so far was stress and worry that he was going to fuck up in some way. He still felt somewhat riled up. He needed to do something that was going to help him unwind after what he had just been through.

Frank sat himself down on a bench near from the restaurant. He pulled the bag off from around him, setting it down next to him before leaning back on the bench. Another sigh left him while he stuck his feet out, screwing up his nose when those god awful pineapple socks poked themselves out into view. A small part of him wanted to scowl at them, pass the time wondering why in the world Congressman Way had to go and spot the one thing he had been trying to hide from him. Why? That was all Frank kept thinking before he sat up, adjusting his jeans so the socks were again hidden. No one could see them, Way shouldn’t have seen them and Frank now wished that he had gone with what he had been planning to do before Ryan had tossed the socks at him, telling him that he could borrow them.

That was now in the past though. Frank couldn’t do anything to change the fact that he had somehow agreed to wear the hideous pink and pineapple socks to an important interview. Clearly he hadn’t been thinking straight and now Frank just sat on the bench, trying to ignore the one thing that was now etched into his brain as the stupidest thing he could have worn to an important work thing. Just ignore, he kept thinking, focus on what you are going to do with the rest of your day now.

Which was pretty much looking like going home. There wasn’t anything Frank could think of doing in town. It wasn’t like he actually needed to do anything either. So he picked himself up, throwing his bag back on, starting to make his way towards the nearest bus stop so he could go home. As much as he didn’t want to go home, Frank knew that it would be good. He could get his interview written up and done. He wouldn’t sit on it for a few days before panicking, realising that he was close to deadline and without a finished article. At least if he went home now and did it then he wouldn’t have to worry about the panic of getting the work done on time. Especially if Ryan was going to come out with the usual ‘why didn’t you get it done sooner?’ line.

Frank could not be dealing with that at all.

Frank continued on his journey towards the bus stop, thinking about texting Ryan to let him know that he was done. He even had his phone in his hand, unlocking it, getting ready to type out the text before he stopped. Something in his peripherals caught his attention, making him stop so suddenly, not even caring about the text that he had started writing. Ryan could wait as he turned his attention to what had made him stop in the first place.

Frank looked in the shop window, thinking for a second because of course he had to go and stop outside the tattoo parlour. It had been awhile since he had last been in there. Over four months ago Frank had gone and his frenum pierced. The impulsive need to get a part of him pierced had lead to Ryan frowning and telling Frank that he was far too reckless. He should have thought before he decided that he was going to go ahead and get a part of him pierced. His dick especially. Ryan was so sure that Frank had barely thought before he had got it done and then came home a few hours later, telling and showing him what he had gone and done.

And it wasn’t that Frank hadn’t thought. Of course he had to have thought because he had gone and decided that he wanted to get his dick pierced. Ryan obviously didn’t know what he was talking about when he had frowned at the small piece of jewelry that had newly adorned Frank. Plus it wasn’t exactly like Frank had told him that he had to get it done. He had done it to himself because that's what Frank wanted. Ryan frowned all he wanted to, but Frank had still been happy with what he had chosen to do.

Frank was also pretty sure that Ryan was going to be frowning at him some more when he came home from work tonight. Would probably end up calling him reckless and thoughtless all over again because Frank didn’t budge from where he had stopped. His eyes didn’t move as he looked into the tattoo parlours window, thinking. Doing the one thing that Ryan honestly believed that he didn’t do when he was near or in this shop. Really thinking because yes he had been through some pretty hard work this morning and he was looking to let off some of the tension and the stress that he had been holding onto before and after the interview. He felt like he deserved this. A reward for actually doing what he had this morning believed that he couldn’t do. Would be too stupid to do.

Maybe Frank didn’t entirely know what he was going to have done yet, be it piercing or adding to his slowly growing collection of ink that littered his skin, but he didn’t think twice about Ryan as he stepping into the tattoo parlour, shrugging his bag off before he set it down on one of the chairs in the shop.

So many choices, Frank felt like a kid in a candy store right now as he looked over the artwork that covered the walls. he browsed, not entirely feeling getting another tattoo just yet. Yes, he knew he could do if he really wanted to, but nothing was jumping out at him from the walls as something that he was going to desperately want inked on him. As much as he was a spur of the moment kind of guy when it came to things like this, he just wasn’t feeling getting a tattoo done right now while he passed the many folders of designs that he could have gotten done.

No, he was definitely feeling a piercing. He knew that now as he walked up to the front of the shop, smiling at the red head who was sat perched behind it before he looked through the glass counter in front of him. The variety of jewelry had him fixed on the fact that he was definitely getting a piercing, but what? That was what he didn’t know right now as he scanned over what the place had to offer.

He had options, Frank knew that, but choosing from what he could get pierced, well, that was proving to be harder than he thought. This coming from the guy with his lip pierced, nose pierced, dick pierced, ears pierced and wore them stretched. He just didn’t know. Maybe tongue. Maybe. It seemed like a good idea, though to be honest, Frank knew that he was being highly impulsive right now so if he wasn’t careful then he was probably going to walk out with a pierced nipple or two.

“You looking to get something done today?” The red head behind the counter piped up, catching Franks attention because in his head he had kind of decided but he also hadn’t. It was like the final few thoughts before he went  _ fuck it  _ and totally went for it. Thoughts like  _ will Ryan flip out when he sees it?  _ The answer, most definitely yes.  _ Will he tell me how I didn’t think and judge me for my life choice?  _ The answer, of course yes.  _ Is it my body that I’m deciding to get pierced and does Ryan really have a say in what I want to do with myself?  _ The answer yes and also no. Frank knew exactly what he was doing and he now knew exactly what he was going to get done after quickly deciding and thinking about how good it was going to look.

“Yeah,” Frank nodded, “I wanna get my tongue pierced. You think you can fit me in today?”

He didn’t mind waiting. If they told him to come back in half an hour then he would. An hour or two, he would still come back. Hell, he would happily wait if it meant that he would get it done today. He really wanted to get it done now that the ideas was firmly lodged in his head. The only problem was that if they told him to come back tomorrow then the chances were that he would either lose the impetuous to get it done, or Ryan would find out somehow and say how against it he was.

This was a now or never thing for Frank right now.

“Give us time to go through the consent form and then we can squeeze you in,” The red head smiled, pulling out what Frank needed to sign before passing him a pen, “Have you got any identification? Proof of age?”

Frank snorted at the womans questioning. Did he really look like the kind of person who was underage and ready to get his tongue pierced because he wanted to be like one of the cool kids in school. If that were the case then he would have gotten it done years ago. But he wasn’t and he shook his head, smirking, wondering why the woman hadn’t put two and two together to come up with the fact that he was most definitely old enough, seeing as he was sporting a scorpion tattoo high up on his neck.

“Are my tattoos already enough for proof of age?” Frank asked, pointing to his neck, wondering if he should just take off his jacket and show the woman the nearly complete sleeve he had on his arm. She didn’t seem to buy it, so Frank flashed part of his arm and eventually she nodded at him.

“Alright you’re clearly old enough,” The red head spoke, watching Frank sign the form, also noticing the lip ring, his nose ring too. It became clear to her that this guy was probably not a newbie when it came to getting stuff done to him, tattoos, piercings. She took the form from him when he was done before she added to it herself, “Take a seat and then I’ll call you in when I’m all set up.”

“You’re doing it?” Frank asked. He didn’t want to sound rude asking that, he was just curious. He assumed that she was just like an assistant or something, not the kind of person who made their living sticking bits of metal into certain parts of people's bodies. Though she did look the part, what with fact that she too had her lip and her septum pierced.

She nodded at him, “You okay with that?”

“Of course,” Frank said before she disappeared into the back part of the shop, starting to set up for him. He didn’t sit, all of a sudden he felt kind of giddy with adrenaline. This was about to happen and he felt kind of excited about it. In the back of Franks mind, he knew that Ryan was probably going to kill him when he found out what he had gone and done, but this wasn’t about what Ryan wanted. This was what Frank wanted and he was easily ignoring what he could imagine Ryan saying to him the moment that he saw that Frank had gone and got his tongue pierced.

“Ready for you now.” The woman called out to Frank a few moments later. For some reason he felt nervous. God knows why, he had been the one to let someone pierce his dick so this was pretty much going to be a walk in the park for him. This really wasn’t going to be that big a deal but Frank still felt it in him. Maybe it was a combination of what he had been though this morning and right now. It made sense. The aftershock of interviewing a politician followed by letting this woman with bright red hair and quite possibly the most interesting eyebrows Frank had ever seen pierce his tongue. It had definitely been an interesting morning to say the least and he really knew that the nerves were just there because of it all. This was the tension release now. Once it was done he was going to feel so good about his day and himself.

“So,” Frank started, sitting himself where she had directed him to sit. He got himself as comfortable as possible, even though it was quite hard. The table as well, it definitely wasn’t comfy to sit on as Frank rested his hands on his lap while he watched her put on gloves before grabbing some gauze, “What’s your name?”   
  
“You want to know my name?” The girl smirked.

“Well, yeah,” Frank nodded, “I’m letting you stick a piece of metal though my tongue, might as well know the name of the person who is about to do it.”

She chuckled at that, “Rachel. And you are?”

“Frank.” He introduced himself before she instructed him to open his mouth and stick his tongue out. Quickly she dried it off, tossing the gauze in the bin before she grabbed a pen. Frank watched as she went about her business, marking a toothpick before she started to examine his tongue.

“Just checking your veins,” She told him, seeing that he was all good to go, “You must have a very lucky girlfriend.”

“Excuse me?” Frank frowned, not entirely sure what that had to do with what was going on right now. Plus he was gay so having Rachel make a comment like that had really got him confused.

“Well, y’know...” Rachel waved a hand at him, hoping that it should have been obvious what she meant. This was his tongue she was talking about. It wasn’t like she had been the one to pierce his dick and comment on that instead.

Frank got it though, eventually.

“Oh,” Frank now knew what she meant. His cheeks flushed pink slightly while he looked down at his feet, “I don’t have a girlfriend.”

“Oh I’m sorry.” Rachel apologised quickly.

“No, its not something to be sorry about- I have a boyfriend, I’m gay...just wish he liked my tongue.” Frank grumbled, remembering the countless times Ryan had turned him down just because the idea of his tongue going anywhere out of the ordinary on him seemed like the worst thing Frank could ever possibly want to do. What really was wrong with him when he said that he wanted to go down on him? Was there something really warped in Franks mind when he said that he wanted to eat Ryan out?   
  
Frank snapped out of it though because this really wasn’t the time to be wondering why Ryan was so frigid when it came to stuff like that. Rachel held back a smirk before she showed him what he could have his tongue pierced with. Frank picked on, just a simple bar to start off with. Frank tried to prepare himself now because Rachel got him to stick his tongue out again, marking where he was going to get pierced with the toothpick.

“You ready?” Rachel asked, drying his tongue off once more before she clamped it. Frank nodded, shifting on the table again, stilling himself even though his ass was aching from sitting on the table. Rachel got everything she needed ready, setting up, quickly telling Frank to take a deep breath.

When he did, that was when Rachel pushed the needle into the underside of his tongue, piercing it. Frank wanted to say that it didn’t feel too bad getting it done, but when the needle came through the top of his tongue with a pop, that was when it stung. Like a painful pinch that made his eyes water uncontrollably. Frank heard her say _and breathe out,_ which he did before she pulled the needle through the top, the plastic still in his tongue so she could thread the bar through.

Within minutes she was done. The bar had been threaded through the hole and Frank could already feel the swelling. He thanked her when she said that he was done, though the words came out with difficulty thanks to his tongue. There was a lisp and Frank just tried his best to ignore that as she cleaned him up, took him back out to the front counter and charged him.

“So try not to play with it,” Rachel began, taking money from Frank, “No spicy or acidic foods and no smoking or drinking for the first two weeks. No solid foods for the first week while your tongue is still swollen. Ice will help with the swelling and you can clean it with warm salt water. Come back when the swelling has gone down so we can fit you with a smaller bar and then you can change the jewelry in a months time.”

“Thanks.” Frank smiled at her, trying his best to ignore the lisp that was now probably going to be a part of his speech for the time being. his tongue felt sore. Probably not as sore as it was going to be when the rush of getting it done had left Frank, but he was more than happy to deal with it. He thought it looked fucking cool. His tension release had worked wonders and Frank felt so much better now that today had gone so well. Not just with the interview, but this too.

“Hope your boyfriend likes it.” Rachel commented as Frank got his stuff together, getting ready to leave and probably head home now, seeing as there wasn’t much else he could do in town.

Another tattoo seemed tempting, but no. Ryan was probably going to have kittens when he saw what Frank had gone and done to himself yet again.

“I hope so too.” Frank replied. He pretty much knew how Ryan was going to respond, but he at least hoped that Ryan would be somewhat okay with what he had gone and chosen to do with the rest of his morning.

\---

As much as Frank knew not to play with it, he couldn’t help himself. It wasn’t like he was prodding at it or poking it or moving it around. The idea of even touching it right now sent painful shocks through Frank. A precursor. A warning sign. Look but don’t touch, which was pretty much all Frank was doing at the moment in his bathroom. Tongue stuck out, leaning over the basin so he could get a proper good look at his new addition.

His tongue was definitely swelling up now, the muscle hiding most of the bar. Frank admired the shine of the jewelry in his mouth, knowing full well that he could have been using his time in a much more productive way. But he was like a magpie right now. The shiny jewelry that was in his tongue was far more interesting than anything else right now. Yes it was sore and yes Frank knew that he was going to find some painkillers in a second, but to him, this was totally worth it.

Totally worth the pain and the possible agro he was going to get from Ryan and totally worth not eating solid food for a week.

That being said, Frank did wish that he had eaten something a bit more substantial than he had done this morning. Breakfast with way was definitely not enough and as much as Frank was admiring his new piercing, he knew that he was going to have to figure out how he was going to eat properly for the next week.

Did they still have that boxed up blender that Ryan's mom had gone and bought them when they first moved in together? Frank really did hope so. If they did then he could see himself eating his meals blended for the next week. At leas that way he was going to be eating properly, even if it was going to mean that he looked like he was reverting back to eating baby food.

This would probably taste much better though.

Frank finally prized his eyes away from the mirror, closing his mouth carefully so he didn’t catch his tongue. The thing was sore enough already without him catching the metal on his teeth, knocking it, making him let out a shriek because of the way that the soreness would go from ow to one thousand all thanks to his carelessness. He opened up the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, finding painkillers. This was probably going to hurt to try and swallow but the good thing was that he was taking something to stop the pain. This was going to be good for him. He just wanted to take the edge of it so he could try and focus on something else while he waited for Ryan to come home.

He will be back in an hour, Frank thought as he checked the time on his phone. Frank felt grateful that Ryan hadn’t called him on his lunch break today. He had texted saying that he was working through it. He would talk to Frank about how his interview had gone when he got home. That was when Frank was relieved because Ryan wouldn’t hear the way that Frank really had gone and developed the most annoying lisp thanks to the swelling.

He thought he sounded terrible, but there was nothing he could do about it. It was just par of the course. What did Frank expect? To have a piece of metal inserted into his tongue and not have it swelling up? He knew that it would happen, it was just irritating because talking now was tricky and even when he muttered something to himself earlier once he got home, he hated the fact that he had to wipe his chin dry because of spit.

Frank made his way downstairs with the bottle of painkillers in one hand. Into the kitchen he went where he went straight to the fridge, opening it up so he could grab something to drink. Something to wash the painkillers down with. Definitely something cold that would also help the swelling. Frank knew that he was going to have to make some ice up if he wanted to help the swelling go down, but right now all he cared about was the fact that the adrenaline of getting it done had worn off and now he was just sore. He needed to dull the pain so he could focus on something, anything to pass the time before Ryan came home.

Frank grabbed the bottle of milk from the fridge, unscrewing the cap before putting two tablets into his mouth carefully. Even the feeling of the tablets in his mouth made him uneasy, not wanting to cause any excess pain to himself. Frank brough the bottle of milk up to his lips. Frank took a sip gingerly. The cool liquid felt good against his tongue. It wasn’t until he went to swallow. The natural reflex of his tongue, it sent a spike of pain through his mouth, making him hiss and wince while he swallowed the milk and the tablets. Frank wiped his mouth dry, groaning, unable to wait for the painkillers to kick in. He was going to have to wait though. He just didn’t know what to do while he waited.

Maybe do some work. That seemed like the obvious choice. As much as Frank wanted to relax and do nothing for the rest of his day, he knew that he had a deadline to keep with his article. It was due in soon and he knew that he should probably start working on it. Getting it all typed up and ready for print. It was just the idea of listening back to the congressman speaking on his recorder made Franks stomach churn in a way that made him almost nervous to listen back to him. The way he spoke so eloquently, the way he spoke to Frank, it was just something that made him uneasy and comforted all at the same time. It was so weird, so unknown as to why this man had such a strange effect on him, but still, Frank knew that he couldn’t waste his day when he was so close to finishing his work. The hard part was done, or at least that’s what Frank kept telling himself. He knew he had to work. As much as he wanted to laze around on the sofa for the rest of the day watching whatever trash was on, he had to actually be productive and finish off what he had started.

Frank tried to work, he really did. For half an hour he listened back to his recording, going through the notes he had jotted down at the same time. He cringed every now and again at the way he sounded. He thought he had sounded so confident when he was questioning Way, but listening back to him asking and then hearing Way answer him so fluidly and far more confidently, it made him realise just how powerful this man was who he had had the morning talking to. Just the way he spoke to Frank had his mind doing weird things and oh, when he swore. Frank screwed up his face listening back to that. When the first curse slipped out, followed by the second one because he had swore the first time. He groaned, wanting to bang his head on the table because he had let that happen. It made him realise how common he sounded compared to the man he had been talking to. Way had been so refined, then Frank had to go and sully their talk with his potty mouth.

And Way had to comment on his foul mouth. Calling him boy.

There was that churn again, making Frank shut the recording off instantly, rubbing his hands across his face, groaning because the stress he had lost earlier was now coming back in waves. Maybe now wasn’t such a good time to be working on this after all.

Frank pushed everything to one side, reaching for the bottle of milk that he had kept out. The still cold liquid was soothing and he just kept sipping. Frank wished that he could make himself a coffee right now, but that would probably end up being one of the stupidest mistakes that he would make today.

Other than swearing in front of a politician.

And Frank was pretty sure that Ryan would end up having an opinion on what thing that he had done today had ended up being the stupidest.

Frank went to reach for the tv remote, choosing to procrastinate because that was going to be less stressful for him, but he heard the sound of a car engine outside. He heard the crunch of tyres on their driveway. Frank checked the time on his phone and he knew exactly who was pulling into their driveway right now. It was Ryan. He was back from work and moments away from learning about what Frank had done with his day after speaking to the congressman.

As much as Frank wanted to hide it, he knew he wouldn’t be able to. His tongue was well and truly swollen to the point that he wasn’t going to be getting around his lisp. Ryan would know that something was up if Frank all of a sudden went mute in front of him, choosing only to answer him with nods and hand gestures. Either way, Ryan would find out and that was what had Frank worried. Yes, he knew that what he had done was perfectly fine. He had done it to himself and it was his body. He could do whatever he wanted to his body, within reason, it was just that Frank knew that Ryan was going to have some form of opinion on what he had gone and done, getting his tongue pierced barely an hour after his interview.

Frank just held his breath, mentally crossed his fingers and hoped and prayed that Ryan wasn’t going to blow his top over what he had gone and chosen to do.

It was going to go one way or another. Frank hoped that he would just roll his eyes at it and marked it down to being just another crazy thing that Frank had had to do to himself, But this was the Ryan that Frank knew, this was the same Ryan that he was talking about. Not the Ryan in his head that was more than okay with his choice of body modifications and totally okay with all kinds of oral sex.

No. ‘In head’ Ryan and real life Ryan were two completely different people. Frank just hoped that real life Ryan would be a little more chilled out like the one in his head when he found out about the piece of metal that was currently sitting in his tongue.

“Hey sweetheart.” Ryan called out when he let himself in, dumping his key in the bowl by the front door, making his way straight into the kitchen to find Frank, “You home yet?”   
  
Frank didn’t entirely know how to respond. He knew that whatever he said to Ryan right now was going to be affected by his swollen tongue, it was just that he was picking the best thing to say that wasn’t going to be too affected by his temporary lisp. He didn’t want to ignore Ryan but he also didn’t want to draw attention to himself. Make Ryan curious about why in the world Frank was talking the way that he was.

“Hey.” Frank finally called out from the sitting room, waving his hand when Ryan popped his head into the room. He winced at his own voice, but luckily Ryan hadn’t paid too much attention to it right now. As he walked into the sitting room, his eyes fell onto the coffee table, seeing the open carton of milk that Frank had out.

“What have I said about this?” Ryan sighed, walking over to the coffee table, picking up the carton of milk before he grabbed a tissue from his pocket and wiped off the cut spout, “I don’t like it when you drink straight from the carton. Can’t you just pour some out into a glass like a normal person?”

“Sorry.” Frank apologised, wondering exactly how long it was going to take for Ryan to notice that something was up with his speech.

Any moment now. Frank knew it.

And Ryan did notice it, pausing for a moment, still holding the carton of milk. He was about to go and put it back in the fridge, make a mental note to remind himself to open the new milk when he wanted some. But Frank stopped him. The way he had spoken had Ryan pausing, thinking, frowning at him. Wondering what was wrong with him as he set the milk back down on the coffee table.

“You okay there?” Ryan asked curiously, noticing the way Frank looked at him like he was a deer in a set of headlights.

“Mmhmm.” Frank nodded, his hand instinctively coming up to his mouth to hide it. Even though his mouth was closed, he felt the need to just shield himself, like Ryan already knew, but he couldn’t know. But he was going to know. Any moment now, Frank knew that he was going to have to tell him what he had done.

“What is going on with you?” Ryan pushed further, noticing how Frank was covering his mouth. Was he doing it for a reason? Was Frank hiding something from him? “Why are you covering your mouth?”

Frank tried to play it off as cool as he could do, which really probably wasn’t that cool in Ryan’s eyes. He tried to be more casual about it though, not being so obvious over the fact that he was covering his mouth for a reason, but Ryan still didn’t buy it. He went to bat Franks hand away from his mouth, but he was stopped and that just bothered Ryan more.

“Honestly,” Ryan snapped a little, getting fed up with the way Frank was being, “What is going on? What are you hiding from me?”

Frank knew that there was no getting around this. He had known this from the moment that he had got the piercing done. It was just that he had hoped for some time before Ryan started to get all up in his business about it. Who was he kidding though? Ryan was going to notice pretty much from the word go. Even if he didn’t notice the way that Frank had a lisp, then he was going to notice it one way or another. Probably end up spotting it in some way, not that he ever took it upon himself to inspect Franks mouth. Unless he was now going to show an interest. Of course he would now. Frank was hiding something from him.

Not for long now though. Frank sighed, rolling his eyes before he moved his hand. A moment passed until he opened his mouth and showed Ryan what he had gone and done.

“Oh my…” Ryan started, bringing his hand up to his mouth now. He couldn’t even finish what he had been saying. Shock took over and his eyes went wide, looking at Franks swollen tongue and the metal that was now clearly lodged in it, “What have you done?”   
  
“Goth my tongue pierthed.” Frank stated the obvious, giving Ryan a small smile because even though he could tell that Ryan was probably very close to blowing up over this, he was still pretty fucking happy about the choice he had made.

“When did you-” Ryan started but he gave up, sighing, shaking his head at Frank, “Do I really want to know when you got  _ that  _ done?”   
  
“Thith morning.” Frank told him, still feeling quite proud. Ryans negative opinion on it hadn’t fully been voice yet. It was stewing away inside of him and Frank hadn’t let him get to him yet.

“Jesus…” Ryan groaned, shaking his head again, turning away from Frank for a split second before he looked back at him, “I assume this was done after you spoke to congressman Way?”

“No I goth ith done in the middle of the intherview- of courth I goth ith done afther that Ry. Do you think I’m thath thtupid?” Frank snorted out sarcastically, wondering why in the world Ryan assumed that he would have got it done before. If anything, Ryan was being stupid with his questioning right now. He had been with Frank right up until the point that he went into the restaurant to meet him.

“I honestly don’t know with you right now,” Ryan sighed at him, folding his arms across his chest, “From where I’m standing, it looks that way. Sounds it too.”

“Tho you think thath I’m thtupid?” Frank shot his question back, feeling the annoyance rising in him. The tone in his voice changing even though the lisp was doing a very good job at masking it.

“I honestly don’t know now,” Ryan raised his voice a little, starting to get annoyed at the fact that Frank had gone and done this without saying anything to him. It was like the piercing he got done below the belt all over again. One day he’s fine and then the very same day, only a few hours later, if that, Frank walks up to him all pleased as punch because he went and got his dick pierced. It was happening all over again. Not his dick again, but still, the sight of the metal in his tongue along with how it was swollen up, Ryan turned his nose up at it. It looked awful to him, “You look ridiculous.”

“I look ridiculouth?” Frank scoffed, “Nithe to thee thath you approve of ith, noth thath I needed your approval buth y’know, having a thupportive boyfriend ith alwayth nithe to have.”

“I am supportive of you,” Ryan insisted, “Just not when you decide to have parts of your body pierced without saying anything to me.”

“I don’th have to thay anything tho you!” Frank snapped, getting annoyed that Ryan was being like this over it, “Ith my body and I can do whath I wanth with ith.”

“I would never tell you what to do with your own body,” Ryan sighed, knowing full well that Frank was now getting defensive. The kind of defensive where he really fought his corner. He was stubborn as hell and when they both got to the point of arguing, Ryan knew that Frank would not back down easily, “I just wish that you would say something to me before you go and get so impulsive with your choices.”

“Whath?” Frank shot back, “Do I need permithion from you before I go tho do anything thath involvth my own body now? Thorry, Ryan, ith ith okay if I go tho the bathroom? Can I go thake a leak? Can I do thath without having to conthult you?”   
  
“Now you’re just being ridiculous.”

“I’m being ridiculouth?” Frank snorted, finally getting up from where he had been sat on the sofa. He hated the way that Ryan would look down at him when they argued sometimes. He needed to be on the same level or he felt like Ryan was going to get his way. So controlling in a way, but without being obvious. He was the one being ridiculous now because Frank knew that he was a grown man and he could do whatever the hell he wanted to without having to check in with his boyfriend who seemed to just not like anything that he thought about doing, “Tho noth only do I look ridiculouth, I’m now being ith thoo?”

“Don’t blow this out of proportion-”   
  
“No,” Frank stopped Ryan instantly, “You were the one tho blow this outh of proporthion when you firth saw ith.”

“Then why were you hiding it from me?”   
  
“Becauth I knew exacthly how you would be. You never juth thmile and go " _ oh thath nice. If it makth you happy Frank then be happy."  _ No, if Ryan dothn’th like ith then no one can have ith.”

“I just,” Ryan started, really trying to not get cross at Frank right now. He was really on the line of being a total dick about all of this. All Ryan wanted him to do was understand that maybe they could have talked about it first because really, yes, it looked awful t him. Ryan did not like the idea of it. A piece of metal in his tongue. All the germs and bacteria that would get into it because of where it was on Frank. If anything, it was worst than the piercing on his dick, and Ryan wasn’t a fan of that one either, “Look, Frank, I understand that you like to modify your body and yes…” Ryan knew exactly what he wanted to say, but he held back because he knew that if he voiced his honest opinion then Frank was really not going to be happy with him, “Some of them look good. But you’re a person, not a impulsive pin cushion.”

“For god thake, Ry,” Frank whined, wanting to hit his head against a wall, or something, anything because Ryan was trying to be so parental about it and that was just pissing Frank off more. He was twenty two years old. If he wanted to get a new piercing then he damn well could get one. Or two. However many he wanted, he would get them, “I am noth a pin cuthion. It lookth cool.”

“Frank...for shit sake,” Ryan snapped, well and truly cross at Frank now. He wasn't one to swear, but when he did it usually meant one of two things. He was either cross or he was in the middle of being intimate with Frank, and the latter was definitely not happening now and probably wasn't going to be happening for some time thanks to the way that Frank was fighting with him, “I can barely understand a word that you are saying.”

“Noth my problem.” Frank shrugged, brushing Ryan off far too casually which only annoyed him more.

“I just don’t get how you can consider this action as a good life choice,” Ryan pushed on, making Frank roll his eyes because it was all about choices for Ryan. Perfect choices that made everything so much easier for him. If Frank was to disturb it in anyway then all hell would break loose. Like right now. This was something that Ryan clearly didn’t like and here he was, spouting off his opinion which Frank knew wouldn’t change anything. But because it was something that bothered Ryan then he felt the need to be vocal about it, judging him because who in their right mind would do such a thing like that? He even didn’t understand Franks need to get tattoos, but he tried his best to deal with them when Frank would turn up with a new one somewhere on him. Why couldn’t he just deal with this new piercing now like he usually did? He couldn’t, because that wasn’t the Ryan way to go about things, “Not only can you not speak properly, which is going to affect you at work? How do you think this is going to affect us?”

“Ith thouldn’th affecth uth ath all!” Frank insisted wondering where Ryan was going with this. It seemed like such a massive tangent and Frank was just getting more annoyed about the fact that Ryan was trying to make this such a big problem in every part of his life.

“Well,” Ryan snorted with his arms folded across his chest, “Don’t you dare think I’m kissing you with that thing all swollen and disgusting in your mouth.”

“Ith noth dithguthing!” Frank snapped, seeing red over the way that Ryan was being. He just couldn’t form how angry he was at him right now. Words began to fail and Frank found himself flapping, searching for the best response to what he had said, “I can’th believe you’re being like this! Fuck thake Ryan, you’re such... I can’th, God why do you have tho be thuch a queef over all of thith?”

“I’m not being-” Ryan stopped. The room fell silent while he processed what Frank had just said. What he had just gone and called him. The word finally hit him and Ryan blinked at him, shocked, mouth open. Disbelief was plastered across his face. And not only that, with what Frank had said and how his speech was impaired thanks to his action, Ryan just looked at him in total shock because of the fact that he had spat when he spoke. Spit hitting Ryan's shirt which was probably the worst thing that could have happened to him right now. All the germs from that stupid piercing. Ryan grabbed another tissue from his pocket, wiping off his shirt before he threw the tissue away in the bin by the coffee table,“Did...did you just call me a queef...and spit on me?”

“Maybe I did,” Frank spoke, feeling smug over the fact that he had silenced Ryan in the middle of all of this stupid argument, “Tho whath? You’re being a thothal dick abouth thith.”

“And you sound like you have a dick in your mouth.”

“Oh,” Frank laughed, actually laughed because that was rich coming from the man who was so against dick coming anywhere near his or Franks mouth, “Like you’d know.”

“Low blow, Frank…” Ryan shook his head, not believing that Frank was choosing to take shots below the belt over this. It was such a childish way to go about this. How could he do this when he  _ knew  _ Ryans reasonings as to why he didn’t like oral sex.

“Thomething of a foreign conthept tho you…” Frank said, not caring that he was doing this. Ryan had started it. One way or another he was going to end this and if it meant getting personal, then so be it. Nothing and no one, including Ryan, was going to make Frank feel bad over what he had gone and done. What he really liked, even if he did hate the fact that he sounded awful with it right now.

“God sake...I can’t talk to you when you are like this,” Ryan groaned, running his hands through his hair before he paced the sitting room, “And now when you sound like this.”

“You think this ith fun for me?” Frank questioned, “I have ath leatht a week of thith.”

“Not my problem,” Ryan mimicked what Frank had said. Minus the lisp. The smug fucking smile on his face annoyed Frank more than anything that had been said to him, “You shouldn’t have got it done then.”

“Well thanks for being the thupporthive boyfriend,” Frank thanked Ryan sarcastically, so ready to just walk away from this. He could not cope with how Ryan was being. If it meant that he was going to have to sleep on the sofa again because of how Ryan was dealing with this, then he would more than gladly do that. Put up with the uncomfortable sleeping positions and the whole body aches when he woke up just to prove to Ryan that he was being beyond ridiculous about it. It was Franks choice to make. Not Ryans choice to decide if he could go ahead and have his tongue pierced or not, “I hope you can cope with the facth thath I’m going to thound like Thylvethter the fucking cath for the nexth week.”

“I’m sorry, I just-” Ryan stopped because as much as he was annoyed with Frank and what he had done, the way he sounded was getting to him. Plus what he had gone and said, the image Frank had just gone and put into his head, he couldn’t help himself. He couldn’t help the smile that broke out on his lips which was then followed by a laugh. Frank frowned, not getting why Ryan was now laughing at him, “With what you said and how you sounded, that was funny.”

“Ith noth funny.” Frank pouted.

“No, it really is,” Ryan giggled, his anger slowly ebbing away now, “And I’m sorry, but I’m not a queef.”

“You acthed like a queef.”

That just made Ryan laugh more. The lisp had got to him and he couldn’t help himself. As much as he was annoyed, the way Frank sounded was funny. He just couldn’t help himself, “Can you hear yourself?”   
  
“I can, ith annoying.”

“No, it’s funny,” Ryan reassured him. Not being mean about it, it was just the fact that the way he sounded had pretty much nullified how Ryan felt. Frank had actually stopped the arguing which was a rarity, “Honestly, I’m not being mean or anything. You’re just making me laugh.”

And as much as Frank wanted to be annoyed about the fact that Ryan was laughing, he couldn't be. The way Ryan laughed was somewhat infectious for Frank. If he laughed then Frank knew that eventually he would be laughing too. Slowly he was calming down and once he was, then he was laughing along with Ryan, finally finding humour with his temporary speech problem as the two of them calmed down completely.

Frank would have laughed properly, but with the fact that his tongue was swollen, it was hurting just to even move his tongue. The painkillers hadn’t gotten rid of all the pain yet and laughing was just making it worse, which Ryan picked up on.

“You okay?” He asked, looking at Frank with concern on his face.

“I’m fine,” Frank waved a hand at him, insisting, “Juth hurth to do anything thath involvth moving my thongue.”

“Well you did get a metal bar jabbed through it.” Ryan stated the obvious, making Frank roll his eyes

“Thankth, I hadn’th notithed…” Frank snorted before he sighed, looking at Ryan, trying to keep the peace but also get Ryan to not be him over this, “Please don’th fighth me on this.”

“I never want to fight with you Frank,” Ryan said honestly, wishing that Frank didn’t give him reason to get the way that he had been. If he had just said something before hand then none of this would have happened in the first place. Fine, Ryan knew that he was still going to be a bit off about it, but at least he would have been more prepared, “I just wish you had said something to me first. Warned me before I came home and found you like this...lisp and all.”

“Fine, nexth thime I dethide tho geth thomething done I’ll thell you,” Frank promised him, “But you can’th thoot me down either. Ith my body and yeth, if I wanth to be a human pin cuthion then...thupport me?”

“Depends on what you’re getting pierced next…” Ryan narrowed his eyes at Frank, looking up and down him while he tried to figure out what Frank was thinking about having pierced next. That was if he was already thinking about it. This was Frank that he was talking about. He probably had a list of things that he wanted to do and he was slowly working through them, ticking them off as he got them done.

Frank made it look like he was deep in thought, hand on his chin, “I wath thinking of gething a guiche ladder nexth.”

Ryans eyes went wide and the color practically drained from his face, “Please tell me you are joking…”

“Of courthe I’m fucking joking Ry,” Frank laughed, trying to ignore the pain from doing just that, “I’m pulling your leg. Just chill, pleathe, okay?”

“Okay.” Ryan nodded, walking closer to Frank, giving him a hug to let him know that they were both okay now. No more fighting. Ryan really did hate fighting him but right now he just loved the fact that Frank was hugging him back, moving on from their spat.

“Now theeing ath I haven’th theen you thinthe this morning, can I have a kith?” Frank asked with a smile. The last kiss he had gotten from him was before he got out of the car. It was a long time to go without such a simple act of affection that he loved. Frank wanted to kiss and make up. Show Ryan that after everything, they were still okay.

Ryan winced though, pulling back a little even though Frank was still holding onto him, “With that open wound in your mouth. No, god, what if it’s infected?”

“Ith only juth been done. Ith noth infecthed,” Frank reassured him, rolling his eyes at Ryans squeamishness, “Juth, thtop being a baby and kith me.”

“But...Frank…” Ryan squirmed, not totally convinced about it right now. As much as he wanted to kiss Frank, he also didn’t want to get some weird infection from the piercing. God knows what kind of bacteria there was in tattoo parlours. Ryan did not want to find that out for himself.

“I’m not going to thtick my thongue down your throath. I juth wanth a kith.”

“Fine,” Ryan gave in, still feeling somewhat uncomfortable, but it would be okay. If he was really worried, which he pretty much was, then he could just go upstairs and clean his teeth. he just couldn’t let Frank know or he would probably end up being offended by Ryans cleanliness after their kiss, “But if I get sick then I’m blaming it on you and your tongue.”

“And who thayth romanthe ith dead?” Frank smirked before he finally got his kiss. 


	9. Chapter 8: Homer Simpson, Smiling Politely

_ “Well then I’m holding you to it… Some other time.” _

 

Frank sucked in a breath as he leaned forward in his desk chair, fingers steepled as he listened to Gerard’s voice on the recorder, his earbuds in, Gerard’s voice right in his head. He frowned, finding his cheeks warming up at th undertone in the Congressman’s voice.

 

He closed his eyes, ignoring his work surroundings as he thought back to that Monday- it was now Friday- and he felt his stomach clench.

 

_ “Oh I have no doubt that America is going to end up seeing the same conditionary circumstances. It’s almost inevitable which is rather unfortunate, to say the least. It does happen every few decades because the countries in question start to see a stagnancy or even a decline and it affects a lot more than people want to realise or admit. Especially if, in this instance, it will hit the medical profession harder than the rest and it will definitely affect not only the civilians but the Congress.” _ Gerard’s voice was slightly static over the recording but still as silky and smooth as dripping honey, Frank could picture Gerard’s intensely watchful gaze over the rim of his black sunglasses.

 

Frank was so engulfed by the sound that he barely noticed his phone vibrating in his pocket, thrumming lazily against his thigh. He felt a poke on his arm and he jumped, pulling the earphones out, turning to see Danielle Ross- Ryan’s mom and editor standing there.

 

“Your phone, Frank.” She smiled and Frank realised she was right, the generic ringtone chiming from within it’s denim confines. He leaned over, pulling the device from his pocket, noting a number he didn’t recognise.

 

“Frank speaking, hello?” He replied and looked up at Ryan’s mom standing there expectantly, most likely wanting to discuss his article.

 

“Frank.” Gerard’s voice replied and Frank felt his heart skip in his chest and he bit his lip, “How are you?”

 

“I’m- I’m great thanks, how’s the campaign?”

 

“I’m in the lead so far.” Gerard stated and Frank couldn’t help but smile, “Listen, dear boy, I know it’s short notice but do you think you can squeeze me in today? I need to see you.”

 

Frank sucked in a breath at the way Gerard had spoken, making something light up in his lower stomach that was anew, that he didn’t recognise. He glanced up at the clock on the wall, “Yeah I have a lunch break now.”

 

“Perfect, where do you work?” 

 

Definitely not.

 

“Oh uh- we can meet at the coffee shop down the street from me, if that’s okay with you.”

 

“Nice of you for asking.” Frank could almost hear the smirk in Gerard’s voice, almost like a curling infliction in the end of his sentence, “Which coffee shop will that be?”

 

“Cafe Rosini.” Frank smiled, “On Smith street.”

 

“Oh that’s a lovely place. Great cake.” Gerard replied, “I’ll see you there.”

 

“Okay, sir.” Frank found himself replying before he cringed at himself. He heard Gerard hum low on the end of the phone before hanging up and he sighed, setting his phone down, exhaling a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

 

“And that?” Danielle asked, “You know how we feel about personal calls.”

 

“It was Congressman Way, he wants to see me. Probably saw my article in yesterday’s paper.”

 

“It was a fantastic article, Frank.” Danielle smiled, Hubby and I are very impressed with it, I love your questions. Very relevant, very now and very important for the community. I’m so glad Ryan got you that interview.”

 

“So am I.” Frank whispered as he turned in his desk chair, excitement bubbling in his stomach, “So am I.”

 

~

 

Frank walked into the cafe five minutes later absolutely shitting himself when he realised how casually he had dressed for work, his stonewash jeans ripped at the knees, his old converse and a simple black button up- definitely not the clothes to wear in front of a Congressman.

 

A Congressman who was currently sitting at a table already.

 

Fuck.

 

He was sat inside, in his black suit again, a peach coloured top and an interesting red and peach coloured tie. He smiled at Frank when they locked eyes and Frank managed to stumble forward, sliding through tables until he reached Gerard.

 

“Frank. Have a seat.” Gerard gestured to the chair across from him and Frank nodded, pulling the chair out before he sat down, pushing it in slightly.

 

“Hi.” Frank cleared his throat.

 

“So I read your article.” Gerard smirked and Frank froze, feeling the colour drain from his face and butterflies explode through his stomach and lower intestine.

 

“Y- Yeah?” Frank asked and Gerard nodded.

 

“I liked it, you write very well, boy.” Gerard smiled as a waiter appeared, notepad and pen in hand.

 

“Hi my name is Chad, I’ll be your waiter. Can I get you anything?”

 

“I will have a hazelnut latte.” Gerard handed him the menu and looked at Frank expectantly.

 

“Oh no I-”

 

“Frank…” Gerard’s voice stern with warning. “I insist.”

 

“But I-”

 

“You said it’s your lunch break. You need to have something.” He all but commanded and Frank felt himself submit yet again, trying not to whimper like a dog.

 

“I-” He frowned, “I’ll have… Thame I gueth.”

 

Oh no, not now please.

 

“Tell me, Chad.” Gerard steepled his fingers, obviously not noticing, “What cake have you got?”

 

“Oh?” Chad looked at the cake display, “We have double chocolate, red velvet, carrot cake, plain and strawberry cheesecake, lemon meringue and coffee cake.”

 

“I will have a slice of red velvet.” Gerard looked at Frank, who knew he was defeated before he even opened his mouth.

 

“Oh God.” He sighed, craning his neck to look at the display, “I’ll have… That chocolate cake lookth good.”

 

“Two hazelnut lattes, a red velvet and chocolate cake?” Chad asked and Gerard nodding, ushering him away as the latter took the menus and walked off.

 

“Where was I?” Gerard smiled politely.

 

“My arthicle.” Frank lisped again before squeezing his eyes shut.

 

“Why are you... “ Gerard frowned and Frank let out a groan, “You didn’t lisp before.”

 

Frank sighed before he stuck out his tongue, showing off his new addition to his face jewelry and Gerard raised an eyebrow.

 

“I didn’t notice that before.”

 

“It’th new.” Frank groaned, “I’m thorry.”

 

“Don’t. It’s quite adorable. And it looks good.”

 

“No…” Frank groaned, putting his hands over his face, “It happenth and then it dithappears, I can’t control it.”

 

“Isn’t it annoying?” Gerard asked and Frank nodded.

 

“Yeah, it’s really difficult to swallow sometimes.” Frank muttered and Gerard raised an eyebrow, a smirk on his lips.

 

“Oh is it?”

 

“And to eat.” Frank nodded, “I’m not allowed solid food so I’m stuck with liquids for now, my tongue hurts so much..” Frank looked at Gerard, who was staring at him with amusement and intrigue.

 

“You poor boy.” He muttered, “I see what you mean about that pesky lisp, it disappeared there.”

 

“See?” Frank sighed, “Stupid tongue.”

 

“I doubt that.” Gerard smirked, “It just needs to be taught what to do, it’ll learn how to handle what’s in it soon enough.”

 

“Yeah you’re right.” He smiled back at the older man, “It’s a lot better than it was on Monday.”

 

“Here you go.” Chad reappeared with their lattes then, interrupting Gerard as he opened his mouth to talk. Chad set the clear glass mugs down in front of them along with a plate of cutlery and napkins and disappeared again.

 

Frank took two sugar packets, tearing them open and pouring them in, stirring gently as Gerard took a sip of his latte, smiling, “There was another reason I asked to see you besides your fantastic article.”

 

Frank felt his cheeks flood with pink at the praise from Gerard and he couldn’t help but smile and look down sheepishly, setting his spoon down.

 

Frank tentatively brought the mug up to his lips and took a sip, cringing in agony at the extensive heat that invaded his new pierced hole. Gerard eyed him with a slight amusement as though he enjoyed seeing the younger boy in pain but Frank pushed it aside.

 

“What reason would that be, sir?” Frank asked with a subtle head tilt as he lifted the mug up again.

 

“I want you to come and work for me.” Gerard stated simply and Frank jerked in surprise, spitting latte back into his cup as his eyes widened in surprise.

 

He had to have misheard.

 

“I-” Frank set the mug down, “Wait, what?”

 

“I said.” Gerard leaned in, his eyes locked on Frank, “I want you… To come and work for me, boy.”

 

“Y- You want me… T- To…” Frank swallowed hard, “Are you theriouth?”

 

Gerard tilted his head to the side, “Why would I lie to you?”

 

“Well I dunno- I mean.” Frank felt even more butterflies break out inside his stomach and he shuddered, taking in a breath, “Why would you wanth me?”

 

“Why would I not want you, Frank?” He smiled politely, “You have a lot of things I’m looking for, y’know.”

 

“What would I do- I mean…” Frank frowned, “What position would I be in?”

 

Gerard thought silently for a moment, fingers drumming the table top as he took a long sip of coffee, his eyes alight, “Well,” Another agonising pause, “I think you’d do well being my assistant.”

 

“Really?” Frank sat up straighter in his chair.

 

“I could definitely use you around my office.” Gerard nodded, smiling still, “Or wherever I need you essentially.”

 

“That’s-” Frank grinned, “Your assistant. Really?”

 

“Unless you’re not interested.” Gerard raised a poignant eyebrow and Frank shook his head vehemently.

 

“I’m just- I’m athtounded really. Me of all people.”

 

“You know what you’re on about, boy. I like that.” Gerard took another sip, swallowing chastely, “And I think you’ll find that the pay isn’t exactly up to a high standard but I do tend to be a nice boss apparently. I reward well to those who do as I say.”

 

“How so?” Frank frowned, “Like- How so?”

 

“Depends on what you’ve done and to what capacity.” Gerard smiled, “But in saying that, as nice as I am. I’m not a lenient man either, Frank. You do wrong too many a time and there will be consequences. Understand that?”

 

“Oh,” Frank nodded, “Of courth yeah.”

 

“Good boy.” Gerard smiled.

 

“But…” Frank frowned, his excitement ebbing away, “I already have a job. A job I love, with my boyfriend’s family. I mean…” he sighed, “It wouldn’t be right.”

 

“You do have a fair point.” Gerard noted, “Why don’t you discuss it with your boyfriend and see what he says. Frank,” Gerard leaned in, “This is an enormous opportunity for you and you shouldn’t bypass that just for a fair amount of loyalty. If Ryan is as golden as you make him, he would understand that. I can teach you so many things you don’t know yet, in so many ways.”

 

“So- So like…” Frank exhaled heavily and looked down before looking back up, “Thith would further my career in politics.”

 

“If you do right by me, then yes. Further your career and you as a person. Far few have walked into my office doors and I have barely seen the potential in them that I have in you, boy. It’s gravitational to see such passion in things.”

 

“Oh,” Frank looked down, his cheeks flushing beet red as he fiddled with a loose thread on a hole in his jeans, “That’s- I mean.”

 

“Rule one should be on how to take a compliment.” Gerard snarked, making Frank grin sheepishly.

 

“Thanks.” Frank smiled slightly wider when he saw the fond smile that had been reciprocated from the older man across from him. Frank jumped in fright when a sudden slice of cake was set down in front of him, a flash of chocolate catching him off guard, his gaze had been so intent on Gerard’s eyes that he had forgotten where the fuck they were.

 

He muttered a soft ‘thanks’ at the waiter as Gerard did the same, taking his fork in his hand with a small flourish.

 

“Eat up.” Gerard gestured to the massive slice that sat in front of Frank, “It’s good.”

 

“Right.” Frank nodded but didn’t make a move yet, his brain still hard at work, “Hang on. Don’t you have an assistant?”

 

“I do yes. Brendon Urie.” Gerard stuck a piece of red velvet in his mouth, smiling happily at the taste, “But unfortunately we’ve had to let him go.”

 

“Why?” Frank frowned, taking a sip of coffee.

 

“Well he’s rather forgetful and doesn’t know much about politics and I don’t think he's right for the job. He’s a wonderful boy, around your age I think, if not a year or two older but… His passions lie elsewhere and working as my assistant won’t get him there.”

 

“That’s an eloquent way of thaying he’s fired.” Frank snickered and Gerard smiled coyly.

 

“I have a way with my words. Always have.”

 

“I can tell.” Frank finally stabbed at his cake, “It’s a wonder Lindsey isn’t fighting any competition to get to you. You probably have woman melting most days.”

 

Gerard raised an eyebrow at that, fork lazily in his hand, wrist bent, “You think so?”

 

“Totally. Ladies love thoppy shit even when they scream blue bloody murder that they don’t.” Frank snorted and Gerard couldn’t help the chuckle he let out, nodding.

 

“I suppose that’s true.”

 

“To be honest so do I.” Frank found himself frowning, “Ryan used to write poetry for me in high thchool. Doesn’t anymore.”

 

“That’s unfortunate. Was he any good?”

 

“He’s phenomenal.” Frank nodded, “The motht amazing stuff.” Frank froze, suddenly his heart let out a wheeze as he realised, “Why did I just say that to a Congressman? Oh my god.”

 

“People tend to overshare with me. It happens. I guess they feel comfortable around me. It’s okay.” Gerard shrugged, “I’m enjoying your lisp, by the by.”

 

“Yeah I-” Frank’s brows knitted further as he ignored the lisp part, “I guess I do. But I mean, I made myself seem such a soppy bollocks, didn’t I? Poetry.” Frank snorted.

 

“Nothing wrong with admiring something a loved one has done for you.” Gerard stated, “Especially written word.”

 

“I suppose.” Frank blushed, “I mean- I just…” He exhaled again, exasperated with himself, “You wouldn’t think I’d be like that.”

 

“I think you are. You’re more sensitive than you let on.” Gerard eyed Frank, making him freeze up, “But as much as you are, you can still take a bit more, am I right?”

 

“Well yeah.” Frank grinned and pointedly stuck out his tongue, making Gerard chuckle brightly.

 

“There you go, soppy bollocks.”

 

“Oh, you just eat your cake, Mr Politithian.” Frank huffed, trying not to laugh when Gerard raised an eyebrow.

 

“Telling me what to do now? A big boy because you got your tongue pierced?” Gerard asked, his voice chiding and condescending, making Frank instantly go red and look away, his stomach churning.

 

“N- No.” He whispered, his entire body wishing it would combust as his blush spread to his ears and his neck, “I- I didn’t mean…”

 

“What?” Gerard asked simply and Frank winced, looking down.

 

“Nothing. Sorry.” He replied, somehow feeling shameful at whatever had come over him in the past two seconds.

 

Gerard got under his skin way too easily and he couldn’t let it happen. He looked up, clearing his throat, seeing Gerard’s hardened gaze still on him, lips in a firm line, “Sorry what?”

 

“Sorry, sir.” Frank breathed out.

 

“Eat.” Gerard ordered simply and Frank looked at the cake for a moment or two and pressed his tongue against the roof of his mouth, blocking out the wince that would crack open his face. He didn’t want to upset Gerard any further but also didn’t want his tongue to fall off so he sucked in a breath and took a small bit, carefully sliding it into his mouth as he avoided his tongue and all but swallowed it whole.

 

He took in a sip of coffee to wash it down, “Gerard?”

 

“Hmm?” Gerard looked up with a small smile, obviously the moment of disrepute was over now that Frank had done as told.

 

“This job…” Frank began, “Is it a weekday thing or what?”

 

“It’s like office hours, eight to four, no weekends unless it’s overtime, which you get paid for.” Gerard nodded, “And like I said, th pay isn’t much.”

 

“How much is it?” Frank asked curiously.

 

“Fifteen dollars an hour.” Gerard nodded and watched Frank frown, trying to do the mental math, “Fifteen multiplied by eight hours is a hundred and twenty a day. So times that by seven days a week.”

 

“Uh…” Frank stammered and Gerard merely smiled.

 

“Eight hundred and forty a week.” Gerard nodded, eating another bite of cake, “Eight forty multiplied by the three point four weeks you’d work in a month and your monthly salary is two thousand, eight hundred and fifty six dollars.”

 

Frank choked out, alarmed at the figure Gerard had so casually given him, his eyes wide and mouth open, full of cake, “Wh-?”

 

“Sorry if it’s not as much as what you’re earning now. Like I said- I-” Gerard began but Frank was astounded.

 

“Are you kidding. I make fucking peanutth compared to thath.” Frank stammered, “Fuck.”

 

“Well think about it.” Gerard smiled as he waved over the waiter, holding out the half eaten piece of cake and requesting a take away and the check before looking at Frank with a smile, “Lindsey loves red velvet.”

 

Frank smiled back, “That’s sweet.”

 

“I have rare moments, yes.” Gerard smiled, “Aren’t you going to eat?”

 

“I can’t really think about eating right now.” Frank admitted, “I’ll probably get hungry later at the office and sneak pieces from my desk drawer.”

 

“Naughty boy.” Gerard chided and Frank couldn’t help but grin as Gerard pulled out his wallet, Chad reappearing with the cake in a container and the bill.

 

“Can- Can I?” Frank gestured to his own barely eaten slice and the take away container in front of him and Chad nodded with a friendly smile, taking the plate and disappearing again.

 

“Right.” Gerard set cash down and Frank eyed him.

 

“Still not going to let me pay?”

 

“Never.” Gerard smiled back politely, “I do however need to go back to the office. I don’t like leaving my employees unsupervised for too long. Somehow they’re all both adults and children at the same time.”

 

Frank chuckled at that as Gerard got up, straightening himself up briskly as Frank scrambled to his seat.

 

“You will think about it, won’t you?” Gerard asked as he shook Frank’s hand again, eliciting those pesky butterflies once more that found their way into Frank’s lungs, their hands entwined in a professional greeting for way too long.

 

“Of courth.”

 

“Try and let me know by Monday, ponder and mull over the weekend.” Gerard smiled, “But I really have to go.”

 

“Yeah no, I understand.” Frank muttered and Gerard looked down with a small smile, his finger on Frank’s chest, making him glance down.

 

Gerard’s index finger placed on the button badge Frank had received from him earlier in the week, the pin stuck into Frank’s shirt on his chest. Gerard looked up at Frank with an appreciative smile that Frank couldn’t help but blush at.

 

“I await your call, Frank.” Gerard’s voice a lot softer, “I can’t wait to hear from you.”

 

“Yeah I…” Frank muttered as Gerard put his hand on Frank’s shoulder before walking passed him, his steps flawless and graceful, confident as ever as he slid through the tables and out the door, hands in his pants pockets.

 

Frank was utterly bewildered then, his eyes still unwavering as he lowered himself back into the chair.

 

“Fuck.” Frank was riveting with a sudden bubbling excitement and he knew exactly who he wanted to tell first, his heart racing.

 

Ryan.


	10. Chapter 9: When Special Occasions Call...

“Well this is nice,” Ryan smiled contently, sipping on his usual white wine spritzer, looking around the restaurant before he looked at Frank, “I mean, it’s not Tuesday night nice...but it’s nice.”

 

“See, we can have a nice time out without it having to be a certain day of the week.” Frank told him, thankful that Ryan hadn’t kicked up too much of a fuss about eating dinner out on a different day of the week. It was only Friday. It wasn’t like it was really random and totally obscure for it to happen on a Friday night. Yes, this was new for them, going out to dinner on a day that wasn’t Tuesday, but Frank had his reason. The whole reason why Ryan had been pestering to find out why he had such a peculiar smile on his face. Why he was being so secretive all of a sudden? Clearly something had gone and happened at work today, Ryan could decipher that, but he didn’t know exactly what had happened. Frank had been refusing to say anything at all until they went out, insisting that they had to celebrate.

 

Now that they were out though, he was still not saying anything. He had a smug look on his face which he would not wipe off and it was really starting to bother Ryan because all he wanted was to know why Frank had gone and brought him out for dinner on a Friday night. Of all the nights he could pick, why one of the six that they never went out on.

 

Ryan assumed a promotion. It had to be something like that. He had read Franks article and seriously, the work he had done was promotion worthy. If he didn’t get one then Ryan was really going to question why it hadn’t happened after all the hard work he had just finished doing.

 

“I still prefer date night.” Ryan had to go and say. Frank rolled his eyes. Of course Ryan had to go and say that. Not only had Frank gone and taken him to their usual restaurant, making sure that they got their usual table  _ and  _ he had even ordered Ryans usual drink for him, along with what he always ate when they had their date night, he had to go and say that. Take the edge off the whole reason why Frank had come home from work, all smiles and hidden surprises, insisting that they went out because there was no way in hell Frank was announcing his news over the usual Friday night dinner.

  
This was a big deal. It called for some variety in their life for once.

 

Luckily Ryan hadn’t taken the complete edge away from it all. Frank was still giddy over the fact that Congressman Way had offered him a job as his assistant. He had just assumed that he had asked him to meet him so they could talk about the article, not actually come to him and say that he wanted him to work for him. Frank was struggling to contain the news. As much as he wanted to blurt it out and tell Ryan everything, he wanted the timing to be right. He could tell that Ryan was still somewhat on edge over the fact that they were going out for dinner on a Friday night. He said that it was nice, but Frank knew Ryan far too well and he knew that there was going to be a part of him that found this whole new dining out day a little weird. Probably uncomfortable.

 

Hence why Frank had got his spritzer in nice and early. He wanted to calm him down before he announced what had gone and happened today.

 

“Well with what happened today, it could not wait until next Tuesday.” Frank said, smiling at Ryan. 

 

“So what did happen at work today then?” Ryan questioned, wondering what had gone and got Frank like this. He was messing around with his cutlery while they waited for their food to arrive, straightening it up more than it already was, but that smile. Ryan could see that Frank was trying to reel it in a bit, biting on his lip to probably stop the cheshire cat smile from breaking out on his lips. Ryan narrowed his eyes at Frank, trying to figure him out, but he was drawing a blank. He had no idea what had happened today.

 

“I wouldn’t even say that it happened at work,” Frank started, tiptoeing round what had actually happened because even though he was dying to tell Ryan so they could discuss it and consider it or do whatever they were going to have to do with the opportunity, enormous opportunity as his prospective boss had gone and said it was, he could see the way Ryan was getting over not knowing. The smile was on Franks face not just because of the job opportunity, but because Ryan was so impatient when it came to news and Frank just wanted to keep him waiting a little longer, “It happened on my lunch break.”

 

“Are you going to go on about what happened to you before the whole reason we are here actually happened?” Ryan asked him pointedly, hoping that Frank would just cut to the chase and tell him, “Or will you actually just tell me?”

 

Frank wanted to tell him, he really did, and even though he was excited to announce it, there was still a part of him that reminded him that not only was he dating Ryan, but he was also working for his family. Working a job that even though it didn’t pay much, or at least paid less than what he would be earning if he did end up being Ways assistant, he still loved his job. Yes, Frank didn’t want to just brush this opportunity to one side because of loyalty, like Way had said, but at the same time, he had no idea how Ryan would take it. What if Frank announced what had happened and Ryan wasn’t okay with it? What if he thought it was silly and that he should stick with what he knows best. What he already has. Frank didn’t want his excitement and sheer curiosity over actually considering accepting the job offer quashed just because he was in deep and already working for Ryan's family. 

 

“Depends on how you will react to it.” Frank said quickly, sipping on his own drink.

 

“Well that depends on if what happened to you was good or bad,” Ryan commented, knowing that Frank would have to at least tell him if it was good or bad news. Not that he assumed it was bad news. Why would Frank had insisted that they went out for dinner if he was about to drop some bad news on him? It didn’t seem like it would happen. It had to be good news.

 

“Oh it was good,” Frank reassured him, “Really good.”

 

“Then just tell me,” Ryan pleaded, his voice nearly whiny because he was tired of Frank stringing him along with this whole thing. If he had something to tell then he should have just told him, not kept him waiting for hours all because the setting had to be right for his supposed announcement, “Please, I can’t wait any longer.”

 

Frank was about to tell him, words poised on his tongue before a waiter appeared with their food. Ryan of course smiled and thanked the waiter for placing down his usual steak in front of him. Frank thanked the waiter too, hoping that what he had ordered was going to be nice. The eggplant steaks which he had considered eating last week. At least he was mixing it up, unlike Ryan who was going through his usual ritual of pushing his food apart on the plate with his cutlery, making sure everything was separate.

 

“So come on,” Ryan pushed once the waiter had gone, “Tell me.”

 

“Well,” Frank started speaking through a mouthful of food, swallowing, smiling because this was it. He was about to tell and he really hoped that Ryan was going to be as excited as he was, “I got a phone call at work today. It was from Congressman Way.”   
  
“Oh yeah?” Ryan questioned further, curious as to why he had gone and received a call from him. It should have been obvious. He had probably called to congratulate him on the amazing article he had produced after interviewing him, “What did he want? Did he say anything about the article?”

 

Frank nodded, “Yeah, he said it was fantastic.”   
  
“That’s brilliant!” Ryan beamed at Frank, cutting up his potato, “I’m so proud of you.”

 

“Thanks,” Frank blushed, “And, he wanted to see me again so, I met up with him on my lunch break...and…”

 

Frank didn’t understand why he was so nervous about just telling Ryan what had happened. He had been so excited and dying to spit it out all evening but now he was actually about to say it, his stomach churned a little and he took a breath. Took a sip of his drink.

 

“And?”   
  
“We had lunch,” Frank started again, preparing to finally tell Ryan what had happened, “And he said that he wants me to come and work for him.”   
  
Ryan didn’t say a word for a second. He was silent, hand frozen in the air with his fork halfway between his plate and his mouth. That he wasn’t expecting. Neither had Frank to be perfectly honest, but still, here he was, telling Ryan about it. Waiting to see how he was going to react over the news.

 

“He wants you to work for him?” Ryan repeated, blinking, taking in Franks news while he set his cutlery down on his plate.

 

He nodded, grinning now, noticing how it looked like there was a smile beginning to form on Ryan's lips after the admittance. That had to be a good sign. He had to be taking the news well.

 

“That’s…” Ryan started, unable to find words because this seemed like a big deal. It now made sense why Frank had insisted that they went out tonight. Ryan could look past the fact that he had been uncomfortable about the idea of going out on a night that didn’t involve a Tuesday. Of course this was a big deal and Ryan knew that whatever he said about it would fuel Frank on more about it, “Frank, that’s amazing!”   
  
“I know, right?” Frank beamed, not expecting Ryan to lean across the table and randomly kiss him, saying how proud he really was of him. Frank blushed, taken aback by the small random public display of affection. Ryan wasn’t usually the one who would even be up for kissing in front of people, especially in a restaurant, but he just seemed so happy for him right now. Maybe it was a spur of the moment thing brought on by the good news that he had just heard, “I honestly didn’t believe him at first, but he told me that I have a lot of things that he looks for.”

 

“So what would he want you doing for him?” Ryan asked, continuing to eat once the excitement of the news had sunk in.

 

“He wants me to be his assistant,” Frank explained briefly before noticing the frown that sprung up on Ryan's face, “What?”   
  
“But I thought Brendon was his assistant?” Ryan queried, “He’s the one who I set the interview up with because he was working for him as his assistant. Did he get a promotion or something?”   
  
“Nope, he got fired.” Frank said bluntly.

 

“Oh wow,” Ryan said, totally surprised, “So you’re the new assistant then. That’s amazing if he wants you to work for him.”   
  
“I haven’t told him that I want the job yet,” Frank decided to tell Ryan because he could just picture how the cogs were probably working in Ryan's head. Frank had been offered a job so the obvious thing to do would be to take the job. Ryan clearly wasn’t thinking like Frank had been, even with Way, he had been considering and thinking about it. The pros and cons of not only taking the job, but what if he turned it down. Yeah, he knew that he still had a job at the end of the day, a definite pro, but if he turned it down, would he have missed out on a possible once in a lifetime opportunity? Frank honestly didn’t know if he was going to take the job or not. He just wanted to tell Ryan and gauge his reaction over it. Test the water before they could discuss if it was worth him taking the job or not, “He’s giving me until Monday to think about it all.”

 

“But he wants you?”   
  
“Apparently so.” Frank nodded, still not quite believing it himself, but it was true. There was a congressman out there who wanted him to be his assistant. How could Frank say no to a job opportunity like this?   
  
Quite easily actually. Frank already had a job. He had been working for Ryan's family for so long that the idea of going for another job felt bad. Like he was cheating in a way, or being tempted to by the promise of a better paying job that actually interested him more than what he was doing right now. Yes, working for the paper was good, but the idea of actually working for a politician, really getting his feet under the table and prove himself, it made Frank want to waver from what he knew was the right thing to do. As much as he wished that he could call up Way on Monday morning and tell him that he would take it, followed handing in his notice at the paper, he knew that he just couldn’t. He had to think about this and act responsibly. He was working for family. He had to stay with the family, no matter how Gerard had dangled the opportunity in front of his face for him, telling him that he would be perfect for it.

 

Which Frank believed he was, but he also felt like he knew that Ryan's family would not take well to the news of him leaving for some fancy schmancy job working for a congressman.

 

Ryan however was taking the news well which had surprised Frank to a degree. He assumed that he too would have been all over the fact that Frank should have stuck by family. Stuck with what he knew best and what he was good at without risking it all. But Ryan was beaming at him, eating his dinner, so happy for him as he continued to question, “So did he tell you anything about the job like, what you would be doing for him?”

 

“No not really,” Frank answered, “I mean other than hours which would be similar to your. Y’know, office hours. He told me how much I would be getting paid though.”

 

“Oh yeah?” Ryan raised an eyebrow at that, very interested in that part. If Frank was to be working for a politician then he had to be earning a good amount, even if he was just to be an assistant.

 

“Fifteen dollars and hour.” Frank told Ryan, noticing the way his eyes went wide at the figure.

 

“That’s more than what you get at the paper,” Ryan said, his voice sounding so excited. He paused for a moment, counting on his fingers for a second. His lips moved while he figured it out, the cogs in his brain whirring until he figured it all out and he looked up at Frank with excitement in his eyes, “That’s so much more than what you get at the paper.”   
  
“Oh I know,” Frank nodded through a mouthful of food, “I would actually bring a decent amount home each month for once.”

 

“Just think of what we could do if you took the job,” Ryan started, getting giddy, like a small child that had just been handed ten dollars in a candy store. All the things he would be able to get with so much money. Ryan was that child right now as he thought about their future thanks to their new combined salary, “Oh, we could decorate the place finally. Or even, oh Frank, we could finally move into a bigger place.”

 

“What’s wrong with the place we have now?” Frank frowned, “It looks fine the way it is and I like where we live.”   
  
“So you’re telling me if we could afford a bigger place then you wouldn’t want to move?” Ryan chuckled, “We could move into the city if we wanted to and we would be able to afford it.”

 

Frank felt his stomach tighten up a little over the way Ryan was being. It wasn’t that he didn’t mind how Ryan was already spending his proposed salary in his head already, it was just the fact that he was getting so excited about it so quickly. Frank didn’t even know if he was going to take the job yet. He had a devil on his shoulder telling him not to care and to just go for it, but the angel on his other shoulder was telling him to stick with family. Stick with the paper. And if he did stick with the paper, then he didn’t want to disappoint Ryan. He earnt less than him. He brought home enough to live on, what with bills and other expenses, but with the way Ryan was talking, he really didn’t want him to get his hopes up too much, planning ahead like Frank had said yes to Way. Ryan would probably end up so disappointed when he wouldn't be able to afford to decorate, or even move to some dream house that he would find and want to move into as soon as possible. Frank sighed softly, reaching out for his drink while he hoped that Ryan would just move on from the whole salary side of the job offer and properly consider it with him.

 

“Oh my gosh,” Ryan gasped, his hand moving to his mouth, half hiding the smile, but even Frank could see it over the rim of his glass, “We could finally get engaged!”

 

Frank didn’t mean to choke on his drink. It just went down the wrong way when Ryan said the one word that he really hadn’t expected to come out of this whole thing. Engaged. Frank coughed, trying to remain composed as his eyes watered and Ryan asked if he was okay. Of course he had to be okay. Frank nodded, even though the idea of getting engaged and committing right now was something that sent a chill down his spine and made him sweat. Or at least the idea of committing to Ryan in that way was the thing that made the shiver shoot down his spine.

 

He loved him, he really did, but the idea of having the same routine with the same person for the rest of his life. The same mediocre sex life with the same things that would have to be done every time or Ryan would not be comfortable. The same Tuesday night date night for the rest of his life. Frank just felt like he could not go through with that. He had done six years already. He really did love Ryan, but seeing him as the one that Frank would give himself too, that kind of binding commitment, no. He really wasn’t ready for that with Ryan.

 

“Slow down Ryan,” Frank tried to calm him, reaching across the table to take hold of his hand, “Let’s not start planning out our future just yet. I haven’t accepted the job yet.”

 

“Why didn’t you say yes to him when he said that he wanted you to work for him?” Ryan queried. He knew that if he had been offered his dream job, not that he had a dream job, he was very happy with the job he had now, but still, if a dream job was offered to him so easily like it had been done for Frank, he wouldn’t have hesitated. He would have said yes and took it as soon as possible.

 

“Because…” Frank sighed, setting his cutlery down, “I have to think realistically here. I work for your parents. I don’t think they would be happy if they found out that someone was trying to poach one of their staff members, no matter how much of an opportunity it is for me.”

 

“I’m sure if you talk to my mom she would understand,” Ryan continued, “She knows how much you are into all this stuff.”   
  
“ _ Stuff  _ doesn’t pay the bills.”   
  
“ _ Stuff  _ does when it pays you fifteen dollars an hour.” Ryan had to go and point out with an excited smile on his face, “You’ve got to at least consider this. This is such a fantastic opportunity for you.”   
  
“Alright,” Frank spoke, “I’ll consider it, just don’t say anything to your parents, okay? If I am going to take the job, which I still don’t know if I am right now, they can’t know about it until I make my final decision.”

 

“I won’t say a word to them,” Ryan promised, even though he felt like he was bursting to tell someone, anyone about this. He was so proud of Frank right now. Proud of him because this was pretty much a dream job for him. He still couldn’t believe that Frank hadn’t said yes straight away, but that was his decision. As much as Ryan would have shouted out yes if he had been in Franks shoes, he still understood why he was doing it like this. Taking his time, “I promise. I won’t breathe a word to them.”

 

“Thanks,” Frank smiled before continuing to eat his dinner, “I need to be sensible about this, whatever I do.”   
  
“I know you do,” Ryan agreed with Frank, nodding at him.

 

A few moments passed between the two of them. They continued to eat, making small talk. Frank eventually went to ask Ryan about his day had been but he merely shrugged, saying that his day seemed like nothing in comparison to what Frank had been through. Good, but not as good as Franks day. Eventually the usual comfortable silence fell over the two of them. It was something that Frank had gotten used to because Ryan was so content with it. Frank found that silence drove him mad at the best of times, but seeing as Ryan was content and happy with it, he got used to it, letting Ryan enjoy the silence between the two of them.

 

Ryan always used to say that because he found silence between him and Frank so comfortable, he knew that he had found his true love. Frank would always just nod at what he said, knowing full well that he could only bear the silence for so long. Put up with it until he had to break it because it just drove him crazy. Also with what Ryan said, Frank never could understand why, but the soppy words would always get to him, and not in a good way like they used to. Frank could never put a finger on it, but he wondered if he had gone and done now, especially after Ryan had gone and brought up the one word that put the fear inside of him.

 

Frank had been half in and out of his own thoughts, thinking about all the possible outcomes of if he did take the job, if he didn’t take the job. He continued to eat while he thought about it, unaware of his surroundings for a brief moment. Unaware of the fact that Ryan was watching him, smiling at him, totally in his own thoughts that involved Frank and one of the things that they could do if he did take the job.

 

Because Ryan had got his white picket fence. His perfect life with the perfect guy. He knew exactly what would make it all so much more completely perfect for him, and that was Frank finally going and doing the one thing that he had hoped he would do for so long.

 

They had been together for over six years. Ryan swore that it was high time that Frank made an honest man out of him.

 

Frank had been so in his own head that he didn’t realise what was going on when he felt something brush against his leg. He frowned, pulling his leg away because he assumed that he had just shifted and ended up knocking against the table leg. But no, it was there again and for a moment he didn’t know what was going on. It was unusual to the point that when he figured out that Ryan was rubbing his shoe up against his leg, he was a little taken aback. Ryan showing affection in public, again? What was going on? Frank hadn’t a clue, wondering if Ryan had gone and bumped his head or something. Fallen over and ended up turning into this different version of him that Frank was not expecting at all.

 

“What are you doing?” Frank asked, confused. He felt the urge to pull away because in his head he could hear Ryan telling him off for trying to display affection in public, but he was also enjoying it. Ryan was actually showing him affection, in public as well. Nobody could see what Ryan was doing, but still, his action made a blush crawl onto Franks cheeks, totally taken by surprise.

 

“What?” Ryan shot his question back, coming across all coy, smiling so innocently at Frank that it was really making him flustered. Ryan knew exactly what he was doing, and he smiled, loving how Frank was getting so thrown off balance by his actions.

 

Frank wondered if he was being like this because he wanted something. It wasn’t like Ryan to be like this, even when he wanted something. He was more of a  _ straight to the point  _ kind of guy. Like the other date night when he said that he wanted an early night. It was obvious, even to Frank when the penny dropped in his head and he realised that Ryan wanted him to take him home. Was this the same thing right now? Frank couldn’t help how his mind raced then because what if this was why Ryan was doing this? Was he giving him a signal that there was another early night on the cards.

 

God how Frank hoped that there was.

 

What Frank didn’t know though was that Ryan was being like this because he had gone and filled his own head with the idea of it being just them two, forever. Actually having Frank asking him to marry him. It was something that Ryan had honestly hoped for for some time now. It wasn’t like he had hoped that Frank would be the one that he would marry when they first started dating in high school. But as their relationship changed and progressed and adapted to them growing up, Ryan came to realise that he didn’t want anyone else. Why would he want anyone else when he had Frank? 

 

So of course Ryan was way in his own head, admiring his hopeful husband to be from across the table, feeling rather romantic and affectionate right now. The idea of saying ‘I do’ to Frank had a bubble in his chest swelling. God how he wanted it all with Frank. God it would be so much more possible for the two of them if Frank went and took this job working for the politician. Ryan could even picture his perfect ceremony in his head, matching suits, even the perfect honeymoon. Ryan had always wanted to go to Paris. They would be able to afford it all if Frank just said yes to Way.

 

The thing was though, if Frank knew what was going through Ryans head right now, the blush would definitely have left his cheeks. The colour from his face would drain and he would probably have had to excuse himself for a moment before going off to the bathroom to panic over the fact that Ryan wanted to actually go through with what he had said earlier.

 

Frank wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment. Ryan just didn’t know that.

 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Frank asked, noticing how Ryan wasn’t taking his eyes away from him right now. Fixated, Frank felt his stomach twist at the way Ryan was looking at him, all doe eyed while smiling. It was unusual so Frank honestly wanted to know what was going on with Ryan right now. He just seemed different with the way he was acting right now.

 

Ryan just shrugged, still smiling, but finally breaking eye contact to look down at his dinner, continuing to eat while the smile stayed glued to his face.

 

“You’re being weird…” Frank commented, taking a sip of his drink, wondering what the hell was going on with Ryan right now.

 

“Am I?” Ryan spoke so innocently like he wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary. Like the times at work he had caught himself practising his signature if they had gotten married. George Ryan Iero. It had such a ring to it that he liked. Just like the ring that he hoped that Frank would give to him when he went down on one knee and Ryan of course would say yes to him when Frank asked him to marry him.

 

“Yeah you are…” Frank looked at Ryan, narrowing his eyes, trying to figure him out, “What’s going on with you?”   
  
“Nothing,” Ryan answered quickly, doing nothing more than smiling innocently at Frank. The bubble was still sat in his chest. God how he adored Frank and was so proud of him now. Ryan didn’t even stop himself when the words left his mouth because they were true and he just had to tell Frank, “I love you.”   
  
Something was definitely up. Frank stopped dead on the other side of the table from Ryan, mid chew, watching him because had he really just admitted that he loved him in public. The near footsie under the table was out of the blue but this, even with the way Ryan reached across the table and took hold of his hand, squeezing it affectionately. Something was definitely going on with Ryan and Frank was completely caught off guard by it all.

 

“I love you too.” Frank replied, trying to sound like what Ryan had just said to him was completely normal when it came to them being out in public. Had this all come on because of the fact that Frank had been insistent about them eating out on a Friday night? Was Ryan being overly affectionate because of the news that he had told him? Or was Ryan just being different which in time would be a good thing? Frank honestly didn’t know because he remembered trying to be different with Ryan the other week and that had backfired miserably. 

 

Or was being different something that Ryan had to do on his own terms? Frank couldn’t force him into things because he wouldn’t be comfortable. Maybe this was a good thing, Frank just had to get used to it. It still felt weird, thinking about Ryan acting like this, but maybe it was a good thing. Maybe this was how it was going to be from now and to be perfectly honest, Frank could see himself getting used to it, especially if Ryan was going to be different on his own terms in other ways.

 

\---

 

“I’ve had a really nice evening,” Ryan smiled, sitting across from Frank in the passenger seat of his car. He was so content. So happy with everything right now. Maybe that content feeling had been brought on by the fact that Frank had added a couple more spritzers to their bill, but he wasn’t drunk. Ryan was just happy. Warm and happy and totally looking across at Frank in the driver's seat, still smiling at him while they headed home, “Even though it’s not Tuesday.”

 

“Good, I’m glad.” Frank spoke, happy that Ryan hadn’t kicked up too much of a fuss over the fact that it was definitely not their date night. What Frank had told him would never have been kept secret until date night. It had been a now or never situation, never not being an option earlier on when Frank told Ryan that they were going out.

 

Plus Frank had kept it just how Ryan liked it. So what if they had ended up going out on a friday night? Ryan still got to sit at his favourite table, order his usual food and drink. Maybe Frank knew what he was doing when he kept Ryan topped up, but that was only to stop him from worrying about being out on a different night of the week. Loosen him up a little and get him excited about what he was going to find out.

 

Which he had gotten excited. More excited than Frank had imagined. He honestly didn’t know if he was going to take the job or not, but from the way Ryan had been, it was clear that he wanted him to take the job. Ryan had gone and got it all planned out in his head, even now as he sat in the passenger seat of Frank's car, his hand coming to rest on Franks thigh, it was all there in his head, making him smile because wow, it was all really possible if Frank just said yes and took the job.

 

Frank tried to keep his eyes on the road when he felt Ryans hand on his thigh. The unusual contact from him. Frank still remembered the time that Ryan had told him off for touching his thigh while he was driving, saying that he could have caused a crash if he hadn’t been careful.

 

Well, Frank really was trying not to crash right now while he felt hand on his thigh, squeezing a little, the affection that was really doing a number on him right now. 

 

If this was the way that Ryan was saying yes to sex this week then Frank knew that he would be upstairs so fast when he got home.

 

“I’m not saying that we should make this a regular thing,” Ryan went on, his hand still on Franks thigh while he paid attention to the scenery that was going past them in a blur, “Tuesday night is still our night.”   
  
“I know,” Frank rolled his eyes, shaking his head in the near dark while he continued to drive them both home, “This was different though. Special occasion.”

 

“That is true,” Ryan agreed with a nod, “Special occasions do call for routine habits to be dropped.”

 

“Is that so?”

 

“Mhmm.” Ryan nodded, giving Franks thigh another squeeze. The same affection shot through Frank, making him grip the steering wheel tighter, wishing that he could speed to get home. Unfortunately he knew that if he did, Ryan would not be best pleased about it, so Frank just tried to hold it together as best he could. Which honestly was easier said than done, especially when the two of them looked at each other and Frank saw the look on Ryan's face. 

 

He knew. He knew that look far too well now and thank god they were nearly home already.

 

And eventually they were home. Ryan was first out of the car, walking up the path to get into the house. It was cold, he pulled his thin jacket around him tighter, shivering a little, unaware of the fact that Frank was coming up behind him. Of course he knew that he had gotten out of the car, but he hadn’t looked back to see the smile that was on his face. The playful smile that curled his lips. Frank had a plan and Ryan was completely unaware of it as he crept up behind him.

 

Unaware until he felt arms wrap around him from behind. Ryan stumbled a little, stopping himself from falling forward. He heard the giggle that left Frank, face pressed against the back of his neck while he held onto him tightly.

 

“What are you doing?” Ryan questioned, trying to turn his head to look at Frank, but he couldn’t. Frank was far too preoccupied nuzzling his face into the curls of hair on the back of his head.

 

“What does it look like?” Frank spoke against Ryan's hair, smiling as he tightened his grip around him, “I’m hugging you.”

 

“Can that not wait…” Ryan tried to talk, tried to move, taking a step forward, but Frank was making it difficult. Not letting go, he tried to take a step forward with Ryan, making walking that much harder, but also making Ryan giggle at the way he was being, “Until we get inside?”

 

“Nope.” Frank answered promptly, his steps stumbling a little as Ryan continued to try and make his way to their front door. They were making progress. Ryan fumbled for his keys in his coat pocket when he felt Frank press a kiss to the back of his neck, inhaling before letting out a content sigh against him.

 

He may not have liked the idea of total commitment with Ryan, but he did still love him, no matter how hard work he was.

 

“Frank,” Ryan laughed, holding his keys in his fist, fumbling for the right key to let them in, “Frank just let me open the front door, please?”

 

They were there. Right by the one thing that Ryan was going to open to let them both in and continue this where prying eyes couldn't see. But Frank still had his arms around Ryan, holding him, one hand resting his hand on his chest, close to his heart as he continued to plant kisses on the back of his neck. The smell of coconut and vanilla filled his nostrils. Such a typical Ryan smell that Frank had always liked about him. The scent that made Frank want to just not let go of him, which he was doing right now. 

 

“Frank come on,” Ryan insisted, squirming out of Franks grip. He knew exactly what he could be like when he got all huggy and kissy. It would only lead to one thing and there was no way in hell Ryan was letting Frank be that way inclined right outside their front door. They were moments away from being behind said door, so Ryan twisted out of Franks grip, spinning around to face him, “Let me open the front door.”

 

“Fine,” Frank pouted, giving in and sighing. He was only being loving. The playful kind that Ryan used to say was adorable, but he stopped, watching as he spun around and finally got the key in the door, opening it so that they could both get in, “Spoilsport.”

 

“I'm not a spoilsport.” Ryan protested, feigning shock because he knew that Frank was joking. 

 

Even though sometimes Frank did see him as somewhat of a spoilsport, shooting him down on occasion.

 

Blow jobs.

 

Any kind of oral sex.

 

Whipped cream.

 

The list could go on and Frank knew that too well.

 

“Would a spoilsport put it out there that he wanted to have an early night?” Ryan had to go and add, smiling at Frank, watching the way he realised what he was suggesting. It made Ryan chuckle softly because Frank always got flustered when sex was on the cards. He wouldn't entirely know what words to say properly, nodding, agreeing what Ryan before he pointed to upstairs.

 

Well where else would we do it, Ryan thought as he smirked at Frank.

 

“I'll join you in a minute,” Ryan told Frank briefly, kissing him quickly, “I've got a couple of things to do before I come up.”

 

“Don't be too long,” Frank told him as he began to make his way up the stairs, “There's something else coming up that can't wait long at all.”

 

Frank had smirked as he went upstairs, hearing Ryan calling him a pig, but it was just a comment. Ryan wouldn’t be calling him that soon when he joined Frank upstairs, wanting exactly what he wanted to.

 

Maybe not exactly what Frank wanted because he was dying for a blow job. At least they would nearly be on the same page soon enough.

 

Frank went about his business, heading straight for the bathroom because he knew that Ryan would pick up on the fact that he hadn’t brushed his teeth. He had mentioned it the last time and Frank really didn’t want to have to be stopped once he got started. It was easier just to do it now before Ryan even got upstairs.

 

Frank wondered what he was doing while he brushed his teeth. He attempted to listen out, straining to see if he could hear Ryan at all, but he couldn’t hear a thing. He was definitely being weird tonight, Frank couldn’t get over that. Not that Ryan taking his time before they had sex was a new thing or something that Frank should have been concerned about. That was normal for Ryan. He didn’t like to be rushed and he would be with Frank when he was ready to go.

 

Even if Frank was ready to go ten minutes before Ryan even joined him.

 

Frank finished brushing his teeth, spitting the foam out into the sink. He rinsed his mouth out, still listening out, wondering why he couldn’t hear a sound coming from downstairs at all. He couldn’t even hear Ryan making his way upstairs either, so Frank went about his business, changing out of his clothes. He discarded his outfit in the washing hamper, going into his drawers to retrieve his pyjamas.

 

Frank had considered going au naturel, lying on the bed propped up on the bed for Ryan to find him when he finally came up to the bedroom. The thing was, he knew that Ryan would not entirely approve of it. He would probably end up saying he was being disgusting or something, even though there was pretty much no point in putting any clothes on. He was just removing some of the leg work. Why get dressed when they were both going to be naked in a minute anyway.

 

Or a few minutes. Frank had thrown on his pyjamas before sitting on the bed. More time passed and he frowned. What the hell was Ryan playing at? He hoped and prayed to god that he hadn’t changed his mind on this. Frank was going to be more than annoyed if Ryan had gone and blown him off yet again after getting his hopes up. It wasn’t fair, getting him all hyped up for nothing.

 

Five minutes passed and by that point, Frank was getting tired of waiting. He hadn’t heard a sound coming from downstairs. Ryan hadn’t appeared at all and Frank was now wondering what the hell he was playing at. He had obviously got side tracked doing something downstairs. God knows what though. Frank picked himself up from the bed, going to inspect.

 

Once he was out of the bedroom and in the upstairs hallway, he could hear something. It sounded like Ryan was talking, or at least someone was talking. Maybe Ryan had put the tv on for some unknown reason. Maybe he had misunderstood and was now waiting for Frank to come and get him. God knows. All Frank knew right now was that he was confused as to why it was taking Ryan so long to come up to him and also, what the hell was he up to. What could really be more important than having sex?

 

When that was on the cards, nothing was more important than sex to Frank. But this was Ryan and he was downstairs, sat on the sofa when Frank got down, frowning at him, wondering what he was doing?

 

Talking. Frank saw him holding his phone to his ear, listening to him chuckle. Why was he on the phone? Frank couldn’t understand why the phone call was more important than spending time with him right now.

 

“...yeah I know. I’m so proud.” Frank listened to Ryan talking before he cleared his throat. Ryan jumped on the sofa, looking round to see Frank leaning against the doorframe, his arm crossed across his chest, watching him.

 

Ryan paused for a moment, listening to the person on the other end of the phone. Frank had found him. He hoped that he would have been done in no time. It was just a quick call, but clearly he had been longer than planned. Frank had come to find him and now he had been caught. Frank just didn’t know why and who he was on the phone to.

 

Yet.

 

“I’ll...I’ll have to call you back,” Ryan stumbled, looking away from Frank for a second before he ended the call. He set his phone down on the edge of the sofa, avoiding looking at Frank until he looked up and smiled at him, “Hey, I was about to come up.”

 

“Were you?” Frank asked, not quite believing Ryan, especially seeing as how he sounded quite deep in conversation when he found him, “Who called you?”

 

“Oh, um,” Ryan started, wondering if he should tell Frank what he had done. It wasn’t bad. He just couldn’t help himself because of how happy he had been, “It was nothing. Just a quick call.”   
  
“Who called you?” Frank asked again, wondering what was so important that Ryan hadn’t joined him upstairs. Clearly it had been more important them so he really wanted to know.

 

Frank wasn’t letting it go. Ryan had hoped that he would and then they could just continue with what they were going to be doing, but no. Frank looked at him, waiting for an answer.

 

“It was just mom,” Ryan admitted, not able to keep eye contact with Frank. He knew what he had done and he also hoped that Frank wasn’t going to ask what he had gone and done. Ryan knew that he wouldn’t be best pleased about it, “She just called to check up on me?”   
  
Uh-huh,” Frank nodded. Ryan had gone quiet and distant. Unable to look at him. He knew that Ryan wasn’t completely telling him the truth. Tell tale signs that Ryan had lied to him. He didn’t lie often, but when he did, he was so easy to read and figure out, “You sure babe?”   
  
Nothing from Ryan. He just sat on the sofa with his hands in his lap, chewing on his bottom lip.

 

“Did you say anything to your mom?” Frank asked, knowing full well that Ryan had been far too excitable about what he had told him. Yes, Frank knew that Ryan had promised not to say anything to his parents about his news, but still, Ryan was something of a blabber mouth when it came to things that he had to keep quiet about.

 

“No…” Ryan hesitated, “Of course not.”

 

“You sure?” Frank questioned more. He stepped closer to Ryan, watching closely. He looked so nervous. He was definitely holding something back. The way he hesitated with his answer, Frank just  _ knew  _ that Ryan was holding back on him, “You didn’t mention anything about what I told you at the restaurant?”   
  
Ryan didn’t say anything. He knew exactly what he had said to his mom.

 

“Ryan...please say that you didn’t say anything,” Frank hoped. Prayed. If they even knew what Frank had been offered then it was more than likely not going to go down well with Ryan's parents. His employers, “Tell me the truth Ry, please.”

 

“I just,” Ryan blurted out, finally cracking because he knew that eventually Frank would find out, “I couldn’t help it. I was so happy for you. So proud of you. I had to say something to them.”

 

“You promised not to say anything though,” Frank sighed, realising what Ryan had gone and done. He had made everything so much worst just because he couldn’t keep his big mouth shut, “You said at the restaurant...you said that you wouldn’t breathe a word to them. Ryan...how could you do this?”

 

“I didn’t do anything wrong. I just said-”   
  
“What did you say?” Frank cut him off, not wanting to hear some weak excuse as to why he broke his promise. Frank wanted an answer and he didn’t want to fight to finally hear it. he just wanted it now, “What exactly did you say?” 

 

“I just said that, the guy you interviewed...he was really impressed with you that, well, he said that he wants you to work for him.”

 

Everything stopped for Frank the moment Ryan said that. It was like his stomach dropped to his feet and his thoughts came screeching to a standstill. Ryan had gone and done quite possibly the worst thing that he could have done for Frank. Fine, saying that Way was really impressed with him, a big up like that was good. But actually saying that said politician was wanting him to work for him? Poaching staff. That was not going to go down well at all.

 

Frank inhaled through his nose, not quite knowing what to say to Ryan while he paced the sitting room, not even looking at him while he sat quietly on the sofa. Ryan didn’t even dare look at Frank because he had glanced and it was like he could see a red mist coming over Frank. He was angry and Ryan knew immediately that he had gone and done the wrong thing, even though he thought that what he had done was just a good thing. He had been saying such positive things to his parents about Frank. How could they get mad about the fact that he had done such a good job that the guy he interviewed wanted him to work for him.

 

“Frank…” Ryan spoke, hoping that he would understand why he had done what he did. If only he would stop pacing, stop making Ryan feel so anxious, just stop and realise that he had only done it for good, “Please just sit down. I can explain.”

 

“I don’t want you to explain,” Frank snapped, “I’m pretty sure that you did all of that when you were on the phone.”

 

“All I said was that he offered you the job. I didn’t say that you were taking it or anything.” Ryan said, hoping that his optimistic words would calm Frank down and make him realise that he hadn’t done this to hurt him or jeopardize what he already had.

 

“And that is enough Ryan,” Frank said, shaking his head before he ran his hands through his hair, tugging on the strands in frustration, “The fact that you told your parents that this guy wants me to work for him, even if they think for a second that I won’t take the job, it’s still there. You have easily put it in their heads that this guy wants me to work for him and that...god, they will know that I have considered this job offer.”

 

“It’s not a bad thing-”   
  
“It really is,” Frank laughed dryly, wondering how Ryan was being so naive about this. Was he really that short sighted that he couldn’t understand what he had gone and done, “Ryan, how would you like it if I told your boss that you had had some guy ask you to work for him?”   
  
“This is different.”   
  
“How is this different?”   
  
“Because they are my parents and they love you,” Ryan insisted, already feeling his eyes stinging because all he had done was tell his parents how happy he was for him. He was so proud of Frank, he just wanted them to be proud of him too because he had got this politician chasing him, wanting him to work for him. Ryan was that as nothing more than an achievement that had to be told, not hidden away from the people that loved Frank.

 

“They may be your parents,” Frank snorted, seeing that Ryan had done this without even considering the fact that his parents weren’t just Ryan's parents to him. They were his employers. The people that took him in and gave him a job when he left school. Got him into a career he actually enjoyed. Gave him so many opportunities that Frank was beyond grateful for Ryan's parents helping him out. But with what Ryan had told them, it was like Frank could easily have thrown it all back in their face. Not caring about the fact that they had helped him out and got him going with his career. It was like a massive middle finger to the two of them and Frank felt like there was going to be repercussions thanks to their son, “But they hired me. They are my employers and you just told them that Gerard Way wants me to work for him!”

 

“But it doesn’t mean that you are going to take the job.”   
  
“Ryan…” Frank sighed, “You really don’t get it do you? You are so narrow minded that you can’t even see what you have done wrong.”   
  
“But..” Ryan started. It was sinking in. Slowly he was starting to realise that he had done wrong, but in his head he was still thinking that he had only done a good thing. How could being excited about Frank be a bad thing? “I only told them because-”   
  
“Just stop,” Frank cut Ryan off again, shaking his head at him. He turned away, not even wanting to look at him right now because he was so cross at the fact that Ryan had promised that he wouldn’t say a word. Not even an hour later had he gone and broken the promise and now Frank knew that he was going to have to do some fucking amazing number on Monday morning to appease Danielle and George, “Look, I get it. I know you meant well, but I don’t think you realise just how damaging it is for me. I could lose my job over this.”

 

“My parents won’t fire you over this.” Ryan insisted.

 

“They easily could,” Frank shot back at him, “They could think that I don’t enjoy my job. They could think that I am disloyal or that I’m doing this to get more money from them.”   
  


“That’s not the case though.”

 

“No, of course not,” Frank scoffed, “I’m not an asshole. But this, what you’ve done. Fuck, Ry, I hadn’t even decided if I wanted to take the job or not yet.”

 

“Well if you say no to Way then you can tell my parents that,” Ryan smiled weakly at Frank, attempting to find the silver lining on the storm cloud that was hovering over Franks head right now, “You didn’t want the job, turned him down, end of story.”   
  
“But that won’t be the end of the story,” Frank smirked, knowing full well that what Ryan had told his parents had done enough damage already, “Your parents won’t trust me because they will think that I considered leaving the paper to work for Way.”   
  
“But I thought you wanted to work in politics-”   
  
“I haven't decided yet!” Frank shouted at Ryan, sick of what he was saying. Going round and round in circles to the point that Frank felt the need to raise his voice just to shut Ryan up, “And now you’ve taken away the time I had over the weekend to decide. God, I’m gonna lose my fucking job over this, I can tell.”   
  


“My parents won’t fire you.” Ryan reassured Frank again, but his words weren’t doing anything to comfort Frank right now.

 

“And what if they do?” Frank shot back at him, “You’re alright. You aren’t possibly about to lose your job. You don’t have to worry about making ends meet. You don’t have to worry about bills and missing payments because you have a job. And even if you didn’t have a job, you still wouldn’t need to worry either! Your parents would support you no matter what. You will always have whatever you want because you will always have your parents money.”

 

“They won’t,” Ryan repeated, even though what Frank had said to him had hurt. The venom in his voice had shocked him to the point that he could feel the tears stinging his eyes, “Frank, they won’t fire you.”

 

“Yes, yes, you keep saying,” Frank groaned, “It’s all you keep saying and I just, I can’t even look at you right now. You not only broke your promise, you may have just gone and fucked up my career.”   
  
“But you got the job offer-”   
  
“That’s not the fucking point!” Frank shouted, making Ryan yelp a bit at his retaliation. He was only trying to make Frank see sense. This wasn’t all going to be doom and gloom. Ryan was only trying to be positive, but no, Frank really wasn’t having it as he cursed under his breath, sculking off out of the room, making Ryan wonder where he was off to.

 

“Frank?” Ryan called out when he heard him going upstairs. He didn’t know whether to follow him and try to talk to him. Calm him down. Ryan knew how difficult it was to calm Frank down when he was good and mad, so he hesitated. Ryan waited a moment, listening out until he heard footsteps on the stairs again.

 

Frank appeared a second later, still with a sour look on his face, but he had pillows and a blanket in his arms.

 

“Are you sleeping downstairs because of this?” Ryan questioned, confused, “Look, I’m sorry. I meant no harm with what I did.”   
  
“I’m not sleeping down here,” Frank told Ryan bluntly, throwing the pillow and blanket at him, “You are.”   
  
“Are you serious?” Ryan stuttered out once he pulled blanket away from his face, “Frank, we can talk about this.”   
  
“Nope, I’m done.” Frank said, ending it all before he turned and headed back to the stairs. He wasn’t going to be the one sleeping on the sofa tonight. Ryan was the one in the wrong so he could deal with it. Give Frank some space while he hoped and prayed to god that he was still going to have a job come Monday morning. 

 


	11. Chapter 10: Why Did You George Me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of my favourite chapters by my co writer. Okay, a lot of their chapters, if not all of them, are my favourite chapters, but still, I really like this one a lot.
> 
> Any errors, apologies, but we think we got them all :)

“You have got to be fucking kidding me?” Frank asked outright, stopping in his tracks, his phone pressed against his ear as his stomach sank into his almost threadbare socks.

 

“I’m sorry Frank.” the editor in chief of the newspaper that Frank worked at, who also ended up being Ryan’s mom, was definitely not sorry, “We’re letting you go.”

 

“Fuck sake, Danielle- Mrs. Ross- this is all I have, I fucking love this job and you know it.” Frank begged as he flopped down onto the sofa with a small groan, “You can’t do this… Please- I- I love this job.”

 

“I am, Frank. We gave you the job because you were family, you were like a son to us. We let you into our home, treated you as only a loving family would and it didn’t seem to matter after all this time. You broke my son’s heart with the way you behaved, he told us about the things you said.” She replied simply and Frank grimaced, biting on the inside of his cheek.

 

“I didn’t- I mean…” Frank began but he trailed off, having no words to say.

 

What could he have said? That he felt betrayed by Ryan for telling his parents that their employee had gotten a job offer, or that their son’s boyfriend had gotten a job offer?

 

Highly likely to make his situation worse.

 

“Just hand in your notes and your press badge and collect your week’s pay, Frank. We’re letting you go. And Ryan wants you to know he’s not sorry for spending the passed two nights here.” Danielle replied with a sigh before hanging up.

 

Frank looked at his phone as the dial tone beeped into his ear and he sighed, locking it and chucking it beside him on the sofa when he brought his legs up against his chest, his toes curling slightly over the end of the cushion.

 

Ryan had left that night that they had fought over Frank’s job and that Ryan had gone and done what Frank had asked him not to. Ryan would rather have driven forty minutes to his parents to sleep in his old room than bare graces and sleep on their sofa. Frank had expected Ryan to come home the next day but he didn’t, and Frank had held up his reins, fighting the urge to phone Ryan first. Ryan hadn’t phoned him either, not since that Friday night- it was now Sunday morning. 

 

Frank had gotten over himself yesterday when Ryan had left, he had started to get anxious when his boyfriend hadn’t returned and he realised just how much he loved Ryan, but he put his ego first and waited everything out. Apparently Ryan was doing the same.

 

And Ryan was as stubborn as an old mule when he dug his heels in, the slight and slender boy had not a raging temper like Frank did, but had the legs to kick in anyone else’s bravado.

 

Frank wasn’t sure when Ryan would return, hell, he didn’t even know that Ryan had left until he heard Ryan’s car pull out of the driveway, frowning in confusion as he lay in their shared bed all by himself.

 

He was angry, yes, and he had started out being smug about his victory in their argument and then he had realised that maybe he had been a bit harsh to Ryan because he had been with him for so long and he knew how excitable his boyfriend could be.

 

But now two days had passed, but two days that Ryan had been alone with his parents saying God knows what and frank’s suspicions had all come to fruition. 

 

He had been fired. Just as he had predicted much against Ryan’s haphazard nonchalance. And now Frank had to sit back and wonder whether or not Ryan was to blame, had he been so angry and hurt by Frank that he had told his parents to fire him, been the tiny shoulder devil whispering in their ears?

 

Frank shook his head vehemently.

 

Ryan would never do that, Ryan didn’t have a venomous bone in his body- never had and never will. He was a tall and skinny teddy bear. Frank’s heart sank a little bit more then, at the thought of Ryan, and he looked at the clock on the wall of their living room.

 

It was almost noon now.

 

Frank just wanted Ryan to come back. He reached for his phone, deciding that now would be when he was going to call Ryan and make him come home but then he heard the gate of their small house opening, the mechanisms whirring as the gate slid open, the faint sound of Ryan’s electric car as it pulled into the driveway and crunched over gravel.

 

Frank thought he’d be elated to see Ryan but the moment he heard the sound of his stupid Tesla, Frank was fucking furious all over again, his face heating up as he stood up and walked into the kitchen, plopping himself into one of the kitchen chairs with his arms folded. 

 

He seethed, listening to Ryan get out of the car and close the door. He listened to the sound of keys and doors unlocking, to the sound of the door opening and closing before Ryan appeared in the kitchen archway.

 

Neither spoke for the longest of seconds, staring holes into each other with enough acid to burn through tungsten. How dare Ryan be angry with me right now, the latter thought to himself as he pursed his lips, sliding down into the kitchen chair, waiting to see who would break first in their stand-off.

 

“Hi.” Ryan finally whispered, his usual soothing voice now icy and snipped, making Frank raise an eyebrow.

 

“Hello.”

 

“You look tired.” Ryan commented as he slid his satchel off from around his shoulder and set it down on the counter.

 

“Yeah.” Frank replied simply, watching Ryan’s every move, feeling his anger rise even more, wanting only to whack his boyfriend with the nearest object available. The toaster.

 

Frank eyed the toaster for a moment when he heard Ryan sigh out loudly, his gaze jumping back to the latter. 

 

“I can’t fucking believe this.” Ryan hit the top of the counter with his hand and Frank rolled his eyes.

 

“Yeah well believe it, Ross.” Frank fiddled his tongue against the roof of his mouth, feeling the silver ball of his piercing trail over his palet.

 

“You know?” Ryan looked at Frank with genuine surprise and Frank sighed.

 

“Of fucking course I know, why wouldn’t I?”

 

“Well I just didn’t expect them to tell you…” Ryan shrugged, “It isn’t fucking fair!”

 

“Well it fucking happened Ryan!” Frank sighed out and Ryan let out a small whimper as he dropped into a chair across from Frank, looking dejected.

 

“But…” Ryan whispered, “Why now?”

 

“Well I don’t fucking know,” Frank rolled his eyes again, getting all the more irate, “Maybe because you told them?”

 

“What?” Ryan frowned in confusion and Frank scoffed, looking away, “I don’t understand. What did I say?”

 

“You-” Frank froze, “You’re kidding?”

 

“You think this is my fault?” Ryan asked outright, looking horrified as a hand came up to his chest.

 

“Who else’s, asshole?” Frank asked and Ryan looked taken aback before he stood up and pulled his phone from his pocket, “What are you doing now?”

 

“I gotta phone them and ask if I said something to upset them.” Ryan frowned as he scrolled through his phone.

 

“Upset them?” Frank straightened up in the chair, “What about me? You do realise-”

 

“I hope Steve and Wanda aren’t too mad…” Ryan whispered and Frank paused.

 

“Steve and Wanda?” Frank asked with a heavy frown, “What do they have to…”

 

“It’s their restaurant, Frank. Our restaurant.” Ryan looked back at his phone, “I’m so fucking upset that they’re closing down. I- I hope it’s not because of me.”

 

“The restaurant’s closing…” Frank stated simply, more to himself than to Ryan, wanting all the more to grab the toaster. This is what has gotten Ryan so upset? The damn restaurant shutting down? Never mind his boyfriend getting fired because of his stupid actions, never mind pushing his boyfriend into unemployment, no. Their restaurant was going out of business.

 

“Crap.’ Ryan looked upset, “They’re not answering. Oh, it was me, wasn’t it?”

 

“Ryan-”

 

“I feel terrible now, what if-”

 

“Ryan…” Frank tried again, watching his boyfriend work himself into a tizzy, watching RYan start to bite his nails like he did when he was nervous or stressed.

 

“Sweetheart, I can’t believe they-”

 

“Ryan!” Frank yelled, making Ryan jump and launch his phone clear out of his hand, his eyes wide in fright as they looked at each other, “It’s not your fault- the restaurant.”

 

“But you said…”

 

“I got confused. Let it go.” Frank replied calmly, his insides bubbling furiously.

 

“But I just- I can’t believe it… That’s our restaurant, Frank. And it’s going to be gone soon.” Ryan looked angry, “How dare they?”

 

“That’s…” Frank sighed, “Yeah. The world’s coming to an end.”

 

“You don’t seem so upset about it.” Ryan frowned and Frank sucked in a breath.

 

“A lot of other things can happen that are worse than a closing restaurant, George.” Frank began picking at a piece of skin beside his nail.

 

“George?” Ryan frowned, “Why did you George me?”

 

“Because you’re a fucking cunt.” Frank stated matter-of-factly.

 

“That’s not very nice.” Ryan’s head jerked back, his nose scrunching up in disgust, “What the hell?”

 

“I-” Frank got up and walked over to where Ryan was now standing, “Got fired, Ross. Your mother just phoned me- yeah that’s right- she phoned me and told me to hand in my shit. I was just fired, Ryan. Do you fucking understand?”

 

“I…” Ryan suddenly went green, “They really fired you?”

 

“Oh like you didn’t know.” Frank rolled his eyes and walked passed Ryan, but felt a cold hand on his forearm.

 

“Sweetheart I had no idea.” He whispered and Frank turned, eyeing him heatedly.

 

“You spend two days there and have no idea that they were going to sack me? Excuse me while I grab my phone and call bullshit.” Frank scoffed and Ryan flinched, looking away, dropping his hand from Frank’s arm.

 

“I really didn’t. They didn’t even talk to me about it. I honestly didn’t think they would.”

 

“Well they fucking did, Ry!” Frank’s voice raised in volume, “And now I’m jobless!”

 

“I can try and talk to mom,” Ryan offered, “Get your job back if-”

 

“I don’t fucking want it back after they sacked me, Ry!” Frank yelled and Ryan sucked in a breath, “Do you honestly think they would? I’d be lucky if I worked in the mail room. You should have heard the way she spoke to me. Like- Like I was some fucking poisonous insect under her fucking shoe. Not only did I get a job offer with the guy I interviewed, I upset you and sent you running. I’m lucky your parent’s don’t run me out of town with pitchforks and torches!”

 

“They wouldn’t…” Ryan whispered and Frank sighed out before turning to the stairs and walking.

 

“I’m going to take a nap.”

 

~

 

“Frank?”

 

Frank let out a small groan, frowning at whoever was waking him from his seemingly short nap, his head filled with clouded sleep, heavy white molasses now sifting into where his dream was.

 

“Sweetheart?”

 

“Ryan…” Frank groaned, his voice heavy and sleep-filled, “Babe c’mon, I’m tryna sleep.”

 

“But Frank, I wanna talk.”

 

“‘Bout what?” Frank managed, his voice still thick with disuse, his brows in a deep frown, “Can’t it wait?”

 

“I think you should take the other job.” Ryan stated simply and Frank nodded blissfully.

 

“Yeah. Kinda have to.” He stifled a yawn, “We done?”

 

“Talking, yeah.” Ryan whispered, “Frankie I feel awful about what’s happened.”

 

“Y’ should…” Frank kept his eyes closed, holding onto the last shred of sleep he had left, clinging on to it with all he had, “Got me fired, you ballsack.”

 

“Let me make it up to you…” Ryan sighed and Frank let out a groan.

 

“Later, Ry… You can make me dinner.” Frank tried to roll over when he froze, realising his legs were stuck under a weight- a warmth.

 

“You sittin’ on me?” Frank asked, still not ready to open his eyes and face reality, “Why?”

 

“I said I want to make it up to you.”

 

“By making me uncomfortable?” Frank finally blinked and looked down to see his boyfriend sitting on Frank’s knees, straddling his legs, hands rested on his own thighs.

 

“Well no, that wasn’t the intention.” Ryan trailed off and Frank sighed, feeling all the more annoyed at Ryan now considering everything that had happened and now Ryan had woken him up.

 

“Then what was?” He sighed softly and sat up on his elbow, stiling another yawn, “Waking me up and making me grumpy?”

 

“Something I haven’t done for a while.”

 

“Clip my toenails in my sleep when you think I don’t notice?” Frank asked sarcastically as he raised an eyebrow and reached over, taking a sip from the glass of apple juice he had left there.

 

“You knew about that?” Ryan asked and Frank nodded, setting the glass down.

 

“First I was worried cause I thought they weren’t growing but then I figured it out when I saw the nail clippers on your bedside table.” Frank lay back down, hand resting behind his head, “So what is it?”

 

“I just…” Ryan readjusted on his knees before crawling forward slightly, “I haven’t exactly been the most attentive boyfriend lately and I guess I can atone it to work stress-”

 

“And being a queef.” Frank added, making Ryan purse his lips before continuing.

 

“But I also realise that I haven’t been very fair with you sometimes.”

 

“Sometimes, he says.” Frank rolled his eyes.

 

“Can you not be an arsehole when I’m trying to apologies?” Ryan sat up, folding his arms, scowling down at Frank, who merely grinned, “But yes, I guess.”

 

“So?”

 

Ryan leaned in, his lips close to Frank’s, their eyes locking for a second, “I know what I wanna do for you, Frank.”

 

Frank felt his stomach jolt at the way Ryan was looking at him, his heart picking up it’s pulse against his ribs. He could have been imagining the sudden honey-ooze in Ryan’s voice- hell, the kid could literally be offering to reorganise Frank’s closet but Frank was so hard up that he was reading sex into everything.

 

He swallowed, biting on his lip for a moment, “Wh- What you want to do?”

 

“Uh-huh…” Ryan tucked a thick curl of hair behind his ear before sliding back to where he was, not before his lips barely brushed over Frank’s own, the scent of camomile and agave hit him with a pungent subtlety.

 

Frank let out a moan, a quiet sound as he watched Ryan move down, long fingers tracing the elastic of Frank’s underwear.

 

And then he finally pegged.

 

The one thing he had longed for, the one thing he begged and asked for, the one thing Ryan perpetually said no to.

 

A blowjob.

 

Frank sucked in another sharp and shaky breath as Ryan tucked his fingers into Frank’s underwear, the latter lifting his hips as the constraining material was slowly pulled down over his hips and his thighs.

 

Ryan bit his lip, his eyes glancing up at Frank’s bewildered face before they went down to his semi. Ryan reached out, his hand travelling up his thigh to his dick, wrapping a hand around it slowly, stroking. Frank let out a groan, his mouth dropping open as his arm gave out, his head dropping back into the pillow.

 

He felt himself harden in Ryan’s hand, his agonisingly slow handjob draining Frank’s lungs of every ounce of oxygen. He loved Ryan’s hands on him, loved how Ryan’s touch was slow and tight and skilled, knowing exactly what he wanted.

 

Frank lifted his hips up into the touch as Ryan shifted further down, thighs warm against Frank’s buckled knees, his hand tightening as he stroked up, his thumb circling and flitting. Frank gasped out as a warm breath cascaded over the underside of his already sensitive dick, his stomach uneasy with anticipation, his mind already running wild as he thought back to his last blowjob from Ryan. Before Ryan had become so persnickety about sex, about oral in particular.

 

Frank wouldn’t have been so fazed about missing out on a blowjob if Ryan wasn’t so damn good at it. Frank was shoved from his perverse thought as Ryan’s mouth took him in, warm and wet around the head of his dick, cheeks hollowed as his tongue swirled flat.

 

Ten times better than he had remembered it being, whether it was because he had gone so long without or whether Ryan was even somehow better than he had been. What had it been- a year? Frank didn’t know, he didn’t care anymore.

 

Ryan’s mouth slid even further down, Frank’s hips coming up to meet him as he let out a groan, the sensation overwhelming, making his stomach ache, the heated coil cranking into a burning heat of wire and sparks.

 

Frank let out a whimper, his hand fisting in the sheets as the other knotted in Ryan’s curls, pushing him further down. He cried out softly as he felt himself press against the back of Ryan’s throat, the latter letting out a small moan. 

 

“Fuck.” Frank whispered, squeezing his eyes shut as Ryan’s mouth slid up, a warm hand pumping before Ryan took him in again, breathing out hot. Frank looked down, whining low in his throat as Ryan looked up at him, pulling off as he ran his tongue down and back up, his mouth open as he slowly and deliberately ran Frank’s spit-slicked dick over his pouted and pink lips.

 

“Holy shit.” Frank whimpered softly, his eyes widening as Ryan looked away and slid his mouth back down, tongue tracing heavy over the underside, back and forth as his head bobbed, a faster pace that took Frank by surprise. He fell back again, unable to keep himself up as the intense heat began to spread into his limbs, his thigh twitching as Ryan flitted his tongue over the snug piercing.

 

“Oh God, baby please don’t stop.” Frank mewled under his breath, gasping as Ryan sped up, his hand in Frank’s, squeezing as he thread Frank’s hand back into his hair, letting the latter take control.

 

Ryan let out a small moan around Frank, deepthroating him a second time, pausing as Frank’s hips canted, feeling Ryan’s throat constrict only slightly as he gagged and pulled up. He pulled off, his tongue swirling over the head of Frank’s dick and all the way down. 

 

Ryan hollowed his cheeks around Frank again, teeth grazing softly in a way that had Frank cry out and jerk up, cursing under his breath. 

 

Ryan reached up, his fingers caressing and massaging, adding heavy sensation that shot up into Frank’s stomach and his brain, turning every single thought and function to a hot mush. He felt his skin tightening, heating up, his cheeks flushed and way too hot. Ryan picked up his earlier pace, a rapid and rough movement of his head, his mouth working wonders on Frank for God knows how long.

 

An eternity that was way too quick, but realistically almost fifteen minutes of adulteration that Frank had sorely missed in his life. It was pure bliss, Ryan’s mouth his undoing like it used to be, one of his favourites.

 

“Fuck- Ry- I…” Frank tried to coherently form a sentence, tried to tell Ryan that he was already too close- his libido on high alert. 

 

He tried meeting Ryan in sync but his body kept tightening up, kept locking in a tense rigor as it chased the climax. The air around Frank was heavy and thick like a steam that his lungs rejected, the light sweat made his shirt cling to him as he pulled on Ryan’s hair guiding him faster and harder, marvelling at how Ryan just took it.

 

He felt as though his bones were about to shatter, his organs on the verge of exploding and his brain screaming in frustration when the tingles that had built up finally let go. His coil sprung, the fire in his belly shot out like fireworks and he cried out. His knees buckled as intense shudders wracked his every inch, the ecstasy making him weak as he came in Ryan’s mouth.

 

“Oh fuck- fuck- yeah…” Frank groaned, riding out his orgasm as he rutted up against Ryan, grinding into his mouth as the lewd mixture of spit and come coated his dick and ran from Ryan’s swollen lips.

 

Frank gasped as he let go, feeling Ryan pull off carefully, the last shock of overstimulation made him jolt and groan.

 

He blinked, opening his eyes as he looked down at Ryan, his heart hammering violently as his pulse raged in his ears and his toes. Ryan smiled as he carefully got up and walked into the bathroom- no likely spitting discreetly in the sink.

 

Frank knew Ryan was always a spitter but he didn’t care about it, he wasn’t offended, he was just grateful for getting head whether or not Ryan decided to swallow his load or not. Frank lay there, looking up at the ceiling as he panted, his hand on his forehead as Ryan came in, toothbrush in his mouth.

 

Frank smiled at him lazily, chuckling weakly at Ryan’s sudden change in behaviour, his usual nuance of oral hygiene overtaking his lust. Frank didn’t care, he had finally gotten what he had wanted and Ryan was allowed to brush his teeth if he wanted. Ryan had stated before that Frank didn’t taste bad, he was just uncomfortable with the prolonged thought of sperm in his mouth. Initially Frank was dubious but he had learned that after getting a blowjob on the daily back in high school that Ryan was probably telling the truth.

 

Granted Ryan carried a toothbrush in his blazer pocket even then, Frank still maintained that his come was at least on par, pineapple or not.

 

He pushed away from the weird train of thought as Ryan returned, waltzing smugly back into the bedroom before he lay on the bed beside Frank and closed his eyes, obviously proud of himself.

 

“I know what you’re thinking.” He stated simply, “Don’t expect it to be a regular thing.”

 

“A guy can dream.” Frank sighed, smiling widely.

 

“Dream on, lover boy.” 

 

Frank lay there moments later, his brain not quite back to normal as he tried to wrap his head around what had happened, he was still genuinely convinced that it was just a vivid wet dream that his subconscious had dreamt up. He stared up at the ceiling, his body lax as a slow smile crept onto his face again, his post-blowjob haze still yet to wear off.

 

“Phone call.” Frank remembered, reaching over to grab his phone, Gerard’s number still saved in his contacts. He looked at the time, noting it had just gone one in the afternoon- not too later to phone someone on a Sunday. 

 

He pressed dial and put the phone to his ear, hearing it ring as he tried to sort himself out, try to wipe the smile from his face.

 

“Hello?” A smooth as silk voice answered and Frank felt his stomach do multiple backflips and he swallowed, his mouth suddenly drier than a nun’s vagina.

 

“Hi.” He breathed, “It- It’s Frank.”

 

“I was hoping to hear from you, Frank.” Gerard replied and Frank couldn’t help but love the way his name fell from Gerard’s mouth, even over the phone.

 

“Well I- I hope I didn’t catch you at a bad time considering it’s a Sunday.” Frank bit his lip.

 

“Not at all. I was merely busy with paperwork.” 

 

“On a Sunday?” Frank scoffed, grinning to himself.

 

“Oh I’m always buried in something, Frank.” Gerard chuckled, “What can I do for you?”

 

“I- Well, if your job offer is still available, I accept.” Frank nodded to himself, saying it out loud added a sudden air of finality.

 

“Oh do you now?” Gerard mused and Frank resisted the urge to shudder, “Well good. Can you start tomorrow?”

 

“T-...” Frank trailed off, suddenly his brain decided now would be the perfect time to jump back to Ryan’s mouth around him, drawing a blank to the older man on the end of the phone call, “Yeah, oh yeah.” He breathed.

 

“Frank…?” Gerard’s usage of his name had the latter jump back into reality and he felt the blush on his cheeks, “Are you still there?”

 

“Oh sorry, yeah I am, I’m here.” Frank replied.

 

“Did you hear what I said, boy?” Gerard asked and Frank wanted to be honest and say no, say the honest truth but at the same time he knew Gerard would be annoyed, he had no idea how long he had been gone.

 

“The connection is really bad, I caught the jist though.” Frank lied, biting his lip.

 

“Eight o’clock.” Gerard stated firmly, “I expect you punctual, okay?”

 

“Y- Yes, sir.” Frank grinned to himself as he looked over to see Ryan roll over to face him, smiling dopely. He reached over, moving a stray curl from Ryan’s face with his finger, “I’ll be there.”

 

“Good boy.” Gerard muttered before hanging up.

 

“Was that your new boss?” Ryan asked as Frank set his phone down on the end tablet beside him.

 

“Uh-huh.” Frank smiled as he turned to Ryan, “I start tomorrow at eight.”

 

“That’s great, sweetheart.” Ryan smiled fondly as Frank sigh and rolled, pushing Ryan down onto his back as he lay over him, holding himself up, “And now?”

 

“As fucking great as your mouth is…” Frank sat up and pulled his t-shirt off, chucking it beside the bed, “I’m still horny.”

 

“Oh and what am I supposed to do with that not-so-surprising information?” Ryan asked sarcastically as Frank lowered himself back down.

 

“You’re supposed to say ‘oh well then let me help you out, you sexy beast.” Frank grinned and Ryan let out a sudden chuckle, grinning brightly.

 

“Oh well then let me help you out, you sexy beast.” Ryan repeated and Frank nodded, his mouth on Ryan’s neck, sucking softly as he took one of Ryan’s thighs in his hand, lifting his leg to wrap it around Frank’s hips.

 

“I’m surprised at you,” Frank whispered as he let go, looking down at the soft pink mark on Ryan’s pale neck, hearing him shudder a breath when he realised that he was seeing more of the old Ryan, the Ryan he loved in High School, “You’re not pushing me off and telling me it’s not Tuesday.”

 

“I’m in a good mood.” Ryan breathed, “And I guess I’m horny too.”

 

“Oh yeah?” Frank raised an eyebrow at Ryan, who smiled coyly, nodding, “I suppose I didn’t return the favour, did I?” Frank asked, Ryan shaking his head as he pouted.

 

“You did not.” Ryan sighed and Frank bit his lip.

 

“Now who’s being selfish?” Frank tutted at himself dramatically, “Shame on me.”

 

“Shame on you is right.”

 

“Unscheduled sex it is.”


	12. Chapter 11:  It's Not Always About Coming Early

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ngl this title

Frank had come to the conclusion that he was very good at certain things in his life. It wasn’t like he was the kind of guy who could sit down and happily list everything that he believed that he was good at. The idea of listing was definitely something that he wasn’t entirely good at. It was rather dull for him, a waste of time to a degree. All that Frank knew was that he was good at what he knew. He was good at what he did and he was more than happy to admit that.

 

The only few things he wasn’t very good at though, well, they had all ended up happening on Monday morning. The morning when he should have been completely on the ball and with his head screwed on. But no. It was like his head had been screwed on awkwardly and he might as well have metaphorically fallen out of the wrong side of the bed onto his ass. Today was a new week, a new day, a whole new career path for Frank and really, it hadn’t gone well from the moment that his alarm went off.

 

Trusted alarm which pierced through the amazing dream he had been having. The horrendously loud buzzer that persisted to slam against his ear drum woke him with a start. Said amazing dream was lost almost instantly as the shock of the alarm forced him back into reality. The reality where his hand shot out from under the duvet, slapping down on the snooze button atop the wicked device that had gone and disturbed him.

 

Five more minutes, Frank thought as the room fell silent. His alarm had been silenced. A smile curled on his lips while he snuggled back under the warm duvet. There was that comfy spot again. Frank sighed because in that instant, in the moment that he was still half asleep and really not too worried about why he had gone and set his alarm for six o’clock in the morning, he was so content and didn’t have a single care in the world. All that mattered to him right now was the fact that he was comfy and he was warm and he didn’t have to get up yet.

 

“Frank, you up?”

 

Frank groaned. Of course he was up. He was awake. That was as up as he had gotten since he had switched his alarm off. Ryan had called up to him. Frank put two and two together and came to the conclusion that Ryan had heard the alarm from wherever he was. The early bird was up and about, far too energetic for this early in the morning. 

 

Ryan could spring out of bed with a smile on his face and a bounce in his step while Frank, well, he needed at least half an hour for his brain to kick in and realise that he was actually awake.

 

“Frank, you don’t want to be late on your first day.”   
  
Frank groaned again because for a split second to him, he felt like the whole weekend hadn’t happened. In his half asleep state, everything was okay and nothing had gone wrong for him at all. Of course he still had his job at the paper. Of course Danielle and George still thought highly of him. Of course Ryan hadn’t gone and fucked everything up for Frank, making it all transpire to the point that Frank had had to make a certain phone call to a certain someone yesterday afternoon.

 

The split second passed and Frank remembered everything. Maybe one good thing had come out of the weekend, but right now, Frank wasn’t focussing on that. His mind started to work, waking up a bit more to the point that he remembered exactly what had happened over the weekend and why he was having to be up so early.

 

“I’m up.” Frank finally called out to Ryan, propping himself up in bed, rubbing his sleep soaked eyes while a yawn escaped him. Everything started to click into place in his head slowly. Being awake this early started to make sense to him. The whole reason why Ryan was making sure he was awake. The mention of his  _ first day.  _ The fact that Frank knew exactly why he had set his alarm so stupidly early after Ryan had recommended doing it to him. The good idea that seemed so horrible right now. The whole missing out on another hours worth of sleep.

 

The cushy comfortable job had gone now. That ship had sailed and now Frank was fully aware of what was happening today.

 

His new job. The job he had had no choice but to accept yesterday afternoon after Ryan had gone and royally fucked up what he had. What he had had for so many years now. This was a new start for him and once Frank was sat up in bed, the ominous nervous feeling started to settle rather comfortably in the pit of his stomach. Like the first day of a new school, being the new kid. Frank felt like that all of a sudden, sat up in bed, wishing that this feeling wasn’t currently taking hold of him while he tried to pull himself together.

 

“You want some breakfast?” Ryan called up. The idea of breakfast made Frank’s stomach turn. He grumbled to himself over the idea. He could just picture Ryan downstairs, probably making him something special because this was supposed to be an exciting day for him. A new start that Ryan knew he was going to nail because it was like this job offer had been made just for Frank. This job was his dream. A foot in the door of all things political that Frank loved. Frank could even smell that Ryan had been cooking. He had probably made him french toast. His favourite with syrup slathered all over it. Frank immediately turned his nose up at the idea of food. Not now, he thought. Later. He just wanted to get this day underway before he felt like he could even begin to contemplate putting anything in his already uneasy stomach.

 

“I’m good.” Frank called out, throwing the duvet to one side. He rested his legs over the side of the bed, toes curling into the carpet while he ran his hands through his hair. He was nervous, there was no denying that. The idea of being a new person in a job role that he had never properly done before. Of course he had a genuine interest in politics, but actually being in the middle of it all, that made him sigh, hoping and praying, mentally crossing his fingers because this day had to go perfectly. He knew that he could not fuck up on his first day, especially seeing as how he had already slipped up before in front of his new boss.

 

Swearing in front of a congressman. Swearing in front of his boss to be a week ago. Of only he had known then what was going to be happening the following week then maybe he would have planned it all out better in his head. maybe he wouldn’t have cursed and cursed again in front of Way.

 

But it was done now and Frank knew that he couldn’t turn back time. All he knew was that he could redeem himself. Maybe Way would let that initial fuck up slide if he proved to him that he could really do this role.

 

Way believed in him. Frank wanted to believe in himself, but his nerves were really doing a number on him as he finally picked himself up from the bed, heading straight to the bathroom so he could take a shower.

 

In the shower, Frank felt like he had built up some confidence.In his head. He had imagined and planned out just how his first day was going to go. Of course he was going to be the  _ new guy  _ for some time. That was unavoidable. He could have been going into any other job role today and he still would have been labelled as the new guy. But he had pictured his first day going nothing more than swimmingly. He would be shown the ropes, taught what to do. He would probably have to be trained up by someone who was more than capable of doing his job with their eyes closed, but all in all, he imagined that it would go well. He even pictured that Way would have been impressed with him. Like he had made the right choice in hiring him. This new kid was more than capable of anything and he had proved himself on his first day. That was how Frank hoped that it would all go.

 

But Frank knew that there would be bumps in the road. Of course there would be because he was going into a role that he had never properly done before. He just didn’t expect the first bump to come up after he got out of the shower.

 

The confidence began to leave Frank when he was stood by his wardrobe. He held onto the towel that was wrapped around his waist, ignoring the water that was dripping from his hair because this was a problem and he really couldn’t believe that he had gone and hit a problem before he had even set foot out of the door. It wasn’t even seven am for god sake, and here Frank was, feeling like he was going to go into full panic at any moment because as he looked into his wardrobe, he realised that he had absolutely no idea about how he was supposed to dress for his job. 

 

Frank had plenty of clothes, he knew that. He had an abundance thanks to the fact that he had a boyfriend who liked to go shopping and he used to have a job that was somewhat casual about what he wore while he was working. Smart casual, that was always the dress code at the paper. Frank knew then that he could get away with turning up to work wearing trainers and black skinny jeans, but this job was completely different. This was actually a serious job role with a serious boss and Way hadn’t entirely filled him in when he spoke to him yesterday afternoon. Their conversation had been brief. Way had been more than happy that he had gone and taken his offer, but Frank had been zoned out, more happy about the fact that Ryan had gone and been the perfect boyfriend for him with his mouth where Frank had wanted it for far too long. He hadn’t entirely been completely focused on the phone call, in a post blow job haze with a permenant smile on his face. In a second, Frank couldn’t remember if Way had told him him what the dress code was. Had he mentioned it? Frank was ninety nine percent sure that he hadn’t, but there was the one percent of his head that was uneasy. Not sure and really getting ready to panic as he continued to look at the array of clothes he owned. None of them looked even remotely suitable for his first day.

 

The panic started to really set in and it was only apparent when Ryan came upstairs after eating breakfast. He had come up to get ready for work, also hoping to not find Frank back in bed, catching some more sleep when he should have been getting ready. Ryan held onto a mug of coffee, the one he had made for Frank, even though he had never come downstairs for breakfast. Ryan had entered to bedroom to find Frank stood by the wardrobe, in one hand he held a shirt, looking at it like he was trying to decode it and in the other hand he held onto a pair of black jeans. 

 

“You okay there?” Ryan chuckled as he walked over to Frank’s bedside table, setting his coffee down for him before he perched himself on the bed. He watched Frank curiously, missing the jeans when Frank threw them onto the bed as he cursed under his breath.

 

“More than okay.” Frank lied. He wanted to have this completely under control. Internally he was freaking out because he didn’t know what to wear. Jeans with the knees all scuffed up, no, really not a good thing to wear as Frank threw them onto the bed along with the other pair of jeans he had discarded moments before.

 

Ryan could clearly see that Frank wasn’t okay, but he knew that he couldn’t step in and help because Frank was stubborn and if he said that he had got something, even if he hadn’t, then Ryan couldn’t do anything until Frank finally caved and turned to him.

 

“Okay.” Ryan nodded, getting up from the bed because as much as he knew that he could watch Frank rummaging through the wardrobe for god knows how long, he too had to get ready for work. He had to be somewhere and he had offered to drop Frank off on his first day. He went about his usual routine, getting ready for work while Frank continued to silently panic, looking through everything he owned, getting more and more worked up over the fact that he had no idea what he was going to wear.

 

If only it was simple. If only Frank could pick something out as easily as Ryan was. He was already pulling on his trousers when Frank looked over his shoulder to check what Ryan was doing. That made Frank groan, getting more and more worked up until he knew that he had to say something. He knew that if he kept quiet then he wasn’t going to get anywhere. So Frank caved. He let out a sigh which Ryan picked up on almost instantly.

 

“You sure you’re okay?” Ryan asked again, watching Frank’s shoulders relax before he turned and looked at him, clutching two items of clothing that he knew that he wouldn’t be able to wear.

 

“Does it look like I’m okay?” Frank finally said. His voice was full of panic and sheer fear. He was so worried. What he wore today was going to make up break him. First opinions and what not. He wanted Way to look at him and believe that he had gone and made the right choice by hiring him. Not have Way judging and doubting because he really didn’t own anything that was suitable to wear for his new job, “Ry, I have nothing to wear today.”   
  
“I’m sure you have something to wear.” Ryan said encouragingly, coming over to look in the wardrobe as well.

 

“Yes,” Frank snorted, “I’m sure a Dead Kennedy’s shirt is going to be the perfect thing for me to wear. My boss will be so impressed with me…”   
  
“Don’t get sarcastic with me,” Ryan told him as he took hold of the t-shirt that Frank had pulled out to make a point. It was tossed to the side like every other item of clothing that had been pulled out, “What have you got that is suitable?”   
  
“I don’t know,” Frank sighed, taking a step back to sit on the bed while he watched Ryan start to sort through the many hangers that were still in place in the wardrobe, “You know what my old dress code was like.”

 

“It won’t be the same in your new job,” Ryan commented. He thought he had found something, pulling out a hanger. What he had found looked like black trousers, but they were jeans and Ryan really couldn’t understand why Frank felt the need to make nearly every pair of jeans he owned have holes in the knees. It wasn’t like knees sweated or anything and needed extra air circulation. Ryan just screwed up his nose, saying  _ nope  _ to himself while he put the jeans back in place, “You’re going to be working in an office. You’re going to be an assistant. You need to be smart all the time.”   
  
“So no casual?”   
  
“You wish,” Ryan smirked, looking over his shoulder at Frank before he turned back to what he was looking for. What he wasn’t finding. What he was really confused about because he swore that Frank had at least a couple of smart that he could have worn today, “It’s going to be completely formalwear and...how do you not own anything suitable?”   
  
“Because I used to have a cushy job that meant I could wear whatever I wanted to.” Frank smiled at Ryan, earning himself an eye roll.

 

“But didn’t you have a suit or something?” Ryan asked, realising that his searching was futile. Frank had nothing. He couldn’t understand how that was even possible, but it was. Ryan turned to face Frank, confused, folding his arms across his bare chest, “What happened to the suit you wore when my parents hired you?”   
  
Frank shrugged. He had no idea.

 

Unless the suits disappearance had anything to do with the fact that every now and again Ryan liked to have a clear out of all his clothes so he could then go out and buy more. If it had gotten caught up in all of Ryan's old clothes then there was no way that it was even in the house anymore. That suit was long gone.

 

“You looked smart in that suit,” Ryan commented as he remembered how Frank had looked. Yes it had been a little big on him because it had been a quick purchase, but how Ryan had adored how Frank had looked in the black suit. Almost adorable with the way the trousers were a little too long for him, bunched up around his shoes and the blazer hung off him, “Why don’t you seem to have it anymore?”   
  
“You sure you didn’t accidentally get rid of it when you had your routine clear out?” Frank questioned.

 

“Why would I get rid of a perfectly decent suit?” Ryan frowned, not sure what Frank was getting at.

 

He knew. Frank knew because he knew how Ryan dressed and if there had been any doubt in Ryans mind or he had completely forgotten who was the owner of said suit that no longer existed, he would have gotten rid of it. Ryan was not one for black suits. He had to dress formally for work, yes, but his choice in clothing was a lot more colourful than the old black suit that had bagged Frank the job at the newspaper in the first place.

 

Well that and the fact that he was screwing the owner of the newspaper’s son, but that wasn’t something that got brought up in the interview.

 

“Well I’m fucked,” Frank declared, flopping onto the bed. He rested his hands over his face, hiding the  fear that was now obvious on his face, “It's not even seven am and I don’t even have anything to wear.”

 

“I don’t understand,” Ryan sighed, shaking his head at Frank, “How are you so unprepared? I mean, why in the world did you say yes to starting today when you knew you were this unprepared?   
  
“I didn’t know I was this unprepared.” Frank admitted, also avoiding the fact that he honestly hadn’t thought this all through. Blowjob thoughts had still been flitting through his mind when he agreed that he would start today.

 

“Why didn’t you tell him that you needed a few days to get ready?”   
  
“He was persuasive.”   
  
“Really?”

 

Well, the way Way spoke to him was very persuasive. Just the tone of his voice and the way he called him boy, it was enough to have Frank practically begging to start his job on Monday. The previous Monday if he could have. Just the way his new boss spoke to him did a real number on him, making his stomach churn in a way that Frank had to admit, it was rather nice to feel.

 

“Look, let’s just focus on the fact that I have to go start my new job very soon and I really don’t think my new boss will appreciate me turning up in what I’m wearing right now.” Frank groaned, pointing down to the only item that was wrapped around him.

 

“Will you relax,” Ryan told him, walking over to where he kept his work clothes, “I’ve got you.”

 

“How?” Frank asked, lifting his head to watch Ryan, wondering what he was doing as he began to rummage. The rummaging which took a minute or so before Ryan turned around, holding out something that he thought was perfectly suitable for Frank to wear on his first day.

 

“Are you serious?” Frank sputtered out, seeing what Ryan was holding. The wash of so much plaid on a coat hanger made him feel uneasy. There was smart which Frank could deal with, but then there was the way that Ryan dressed for work and that style really did make him question if Ryan was color blind or something. 

 

Or just had really poor taste in fashion. Pineapple socks included. Frank just fought back a grimace as Ryan smiled, laying the trousers and waistcoat down onto the bed next to him.

 

“What’s wrong with it?” Ryan asked, turning back to find a shirt that would go with it, “I wear this to work. It’s smart.”   
  
“I can’t wear your clothes to work.”

 

“What other choice do you have?” Ryan chuckled, pulling out a white shirt. If only it was just a white shirt. Maybe that would have toned down the outfit, but no, Ryan had to go and pull out yet another fashion faux pas of a shirt that Frank really hoped he was just pulling out to get to something different. The shirt was white with off blue-grey stripes and Frank really couldn’t tell if there was beige in there somehow. Not that it mattered. The shirt was hideous and the thought of it being paired with the burnt sienna plaid items that Ryan had handed to him. Just no. Never. Hell, Frank knew he had very little fashion sense, but at least he knew that he should never wear plaid. Ever.

 

“I’m sure he will understand if I turn up in jeans and a shirt-”   
  
“No,” Ryan shook his head, handing Frank the hideous striped shirt, “First impressions are so important. You cannot mess it up. You have to be smart.”

 

“Okay…” Frank said uneasily, taking the shirt in his hand, fighting back the look on his face because he really did feel like this was going to be the worst thing Ryan could have done for him. Lending him socks the other week, fine, they hadn’t been the greatest sock choice, but this was a whole outfit. Frank couldn’t hide a shirt and a waistcoat and just everything that Ryan had handed to him. He was going to stick out so much. Like the new kid at school with the old handed down uniform that was far too big for him and far too obvious. Frank felt like he was going to be eaten alive for wearing something as hideous as what Ryan had given him.

 

“What?” Ryan asked, sensing the tone of the okay. Frank was uneasy. He wasn’t even jumping up the get dressed. He just sat there, holding onto the shirt. He might as well have been holding the shirt at arms length, pinched between two fingers, disgust spreading on his face before he let go of it.

 

“Nothing,” Frank told him, tugging the hanger out of the shirt, “What?”

 

“You look like I’ve just gone and handed you the worst thing possible,” Ryan said as he went back to getting dressed himself, “What’s wrong with the shirt?”

 

“There’s nothing wrong with the shirt-”

 

“Then why do you have the same look on your face like when you mentioned my socks in the car last week?”   
  
Ryan had him there. He had dug himself into a hole with the look on his face. The pure disgust and fear of actually turning up to his first day on the job wearing plaid. Frank just had to save it right now though because even though Ryan had quite possibly the most awful taste in fashion to Frank, he had still helped him and Frank really couldn’t complain. It wasn’t like he was going to have to turn up to work in what he was wearing right now.

 

The towel around his waist look was definitely not a good choice.

 

“I don’t have a  _ look  _ on my face.” Frank reassured him, finally standing up, tossing his towel into the wash basket before he started to get dress. They had to leave very soon so Frank knew that he couldn’t mess around getting ready. He had to be punctual. Frank could not be late on his first day. No no. He didn’t want his new boss being cross at him. Especially with what he had said to him only last week. The whole ‘there being consequences’ if he did wrong. It was best that he didn’t do wrong on his first day then.

 

Frank tried to look casual as he pulled on what Ryan had given him to wear. All in all, it was a horrible outfit and really not something that was going to leave a good impression when Frank stepped into his new job role. Wearing the awful coloured outfit, the mix of beige and blue-grey subtle plaid on red-brown. The same blue-grey as the stripes on the shirt he had half put on, leaving it unbuttoned for a moment while he pulled Ryans trousers on. Frank had no idea how this looked good on Ryan. Wearing it himself, he swore that he looked like someone had gone and thrown up on him. Vomit would probably look much better on Frank right now as he finished getting dressed, pulling the waistcoat on over the shirt. He really couldn’t understand it as he winced at his reflection in the wardrobe mirror. He looked awful yet somehow when Ryan wore it, he pulled it of and he looked good in it. So good in it. It just didn’t make sense to Frank.

 

“You look so smart.” Ryan beamed as he walked up behind Frank, dressed himself, he looked at Franks reflection, loving how he looked good in what he had picked out for him. Ryan skimmed a hand over his shoulder, brushing down the matching waistcoat, not noticing how Frank was wincing at his own unfashionable reflection.

 

He could not be seen in this.

 

He was going to be seen in this. Frank wanted to just not bother at all right now, especially with how Ryan had dressed him, but he couldn’t back out now. Pulling a sicky on his first day. Not a good move at all.

 

“Do I?” Frank asked nervously, hoping that Ryan was just joking. Ryan would eventually realise what he had gone and done to Frank, dressing him up like some personal mannequin. Realised that he just looked god awful, telling Frank that he had made a mistake and that he was ever so sorry for having put him through the ordeal of wearing such hideous clothing for more than five minutes.

 

Of course that wasn’t Ryan though and he really did believe that Frank looked so good in what he was wearing.

 

It was like the pineapple socks all over again for Frank. This could not be happening to him for the second time in a week.

 

“Of course you do,” Ryan beamed, “The pants are a little long,” He commented. Frank looked down and immediately felt himself internally grumble. Ryan just had to go and be taller than him. Luckily they were roughly the same build, but even Frank felt somewhat vertically challenged as he looked down at his socked feet, seeing the bottom of the pants all bunched up and baggy, “But you look so smart. The congressman will be impressed.”

 

Yeah right, Frank thought, but he kept that to himself, choosing to nod at Ryan, forcing a smiled before he bent down to get his shoes. At least he did own a pair of smart black shoes that he could wear. At least those hadn't been gotten rid of amongst all of Ryan's old clothes. Frank slid them on, going to do his laces up until Ryan appeared by his side again, smiling at him.

 

“I forgot something,” Ryan smiled at Frank when he stood up straight. He looked confused, Frank honestly didn’t know what else Ryan could possibly throw at him clothes wise, but the dark grey and white plaid scarf in his hands was just one item of clothing too far.

 

Why did Ryan own so much plaid? Did he think that it was really going to be a good look on Frank today? He knew that he looked awful, be here Ryan was, attempting to layer more plaid that didn’t quite match onto Frank.

 

“I’m good,” Frank said as nicely as possible. Ryan was giving him one of his favourite scarves to wear. It was like the socks incident all over again, but this time Frank knew to be a little more gently. He had to let Ryan down gently because there was no way in hell he was going to be turning up to work wearing that colour scarf with the colour plaid he was already dressed in, “Thanks but, I think I’ll be too warm with a scarf.”   
  
“But...” Ryan pouted. Frank sensed the hurt in his voice instantly. How could he have been offended by that. Frank didn’t want to be too warm. It wasn’t like Frank had thrown the scarf back at him, telling him that it was hideous and that he would never be seen dead in plaid.

 

This coming from the man that wished that the ground would swallow him whole and spit out his remains because of what he was already being made to wear.

 

“...the scarf really does go well with the whole outfit.” Ryan persisted, taking it upon himself to prove to Frank that he was right and no of course he wasn’t going to be too hot wearing the scarf. It was a thin one. All of Ryan's winter scarves were still packed away upstairs so there was no way that Frank was going to overheat.

 

Frank wanted to protest, but he couldn't when Ryan was already wrapping the fabric around his neck, loosening it off and arranging it with a smile on his face. Frank was dead pan. He just stood there with no expression, wondering what he had gone and done in some past life that had made him have to go through this. 

 

“See,” Ryan smiled, “It really goes. Finishes off the whole outfit.”

 

Frank wanted to add that he looked like someone who really did have far too much of a thing for plaid. But he would never be that person because that person was already stood in front of him, smiling so contently because he really did love how Frank looked. All smart and unbelievably handsome in his clothes. Fine, the trousers were a little too long for Frank, but that just made him look adorable as Ryan nodded, happy with how he had dressed Frank for his first day.

 

The first day that Frank was now dreading. He was excited, finally stepping into a career path that actually interested him, but with what he was wearing, it really did take the edge of it. To the point that Frank could not wait to get home and get himself out of the hotch potch of plaid that he was going to have to wear for the entirety of his day.

 

\---

 

“Hi,” Frank spoke nervously, having entered his new place of work, walking up to the small desk that sat in the corner of the hallway. A woman sat behind the desk smiling at Frank once he had spoken, “My name is Frank and I start work here today?”   
  
He hated how he sounded so unsure of himself. He knew that he was supposed to be here. They had got the address right in the car, even though the two of them were unsure of if they had found the right place. They had though. They had arrived at an oversized single storey house which was on the right street and was the right number. Ryan had commented on how it was probably some conversion job. Why have a massive glass office when you could have something more appealing like a house conversion. So Ryan had dropped him off, wishing him good luck along with a kiss on the cheek, but still, he really hated how he sounded. And that wasn’t his fault. It was, because he was nervous and his voice cracked when he was nervous, but Frank really didn’t want to blame himself for being nervous. Ryan was part to blame for the fresh batch of nerves that had gone and settled in for the day in the pit of his stomach. He held onto the strap of his bag across his chest, watching as the woman looked through her computer. She hadn’t batted an eyelid as Frank introduced himself. Maybe she hadn’t noticed the plaid. Maybe she hadn’t noticed the way that Frank had pulled the scarf from around his neck once he was in the building, stuffing it hastily into his bag before composing himself. He had this. Frank believed in himself, he just couldn’t believe that he really did look like this on the first day of his new job.

 

“Frank...Iero, yeah?” She asked, breaking away from the computer screen to look at him. Frank ignored the way that she pronounced his surname wrong. Everyone usually did, so he nodded, ignoring the way his mis pronounced surname jarred in his head. She smiled at him before pointing to her right, “If you go down the hallway just a little, first door on your right. The office manager will get you all settled in.”

 

Frank thanked her then. He did what she had said, walking the short distance down the hallway, trying to ignore how his shoes made an awful squeaking noise on the wooden floor. He took in how big the place was. On the outside the house looked huge, but on the inside it looked and felt so much more like the kind of place that would be worth far more than usual just because of its size. The hallway stretched down to an open plan room with what looked like cubicles in it and it really did make the house look so much longer than it appeared on the outside. The hardwood floors made Frank's footsteps echo a little, coupled with how his shoes were making a racket, the place did feel so big to Frank. The walls were plain, white, a few abstract looking pieces of art that Frank couldn’t figure out in the second that he looked at them dotted the walls. But they weren’t important. What was important was the fact that he had come to the door that the receptionist had told him to go to. He took in a shaky breath, building up the confidence that he hoped he had in him before he knocked on the open door, getting the attention of the man that was sat in the room.

 

“Hi,” Frank stuttered out when he got the attention of the man that was sat at his desk. The man in the red and white floral shirt which really took Frank by surprise. The shirt looked like it should have belonged to Ryan. At least if this guy could get away with wearing what he was wearing then maybe no one would bat an eyelid at how Frank was dressed, “I’m Frank, the-”   
  
“New guy, yeah..we were expecting you. Gerard filled us in this morning that you were starting today,” The man said, standing up from his desk. It sounded weird to hear his first name. Frank had gotten almost used to calling Way sir because it was polite and formal and this guy was now his boss. The man from behind the desk walked over to Frank, extending his hand out which Frank took, shaking it, “I’m Derek, the office manager. I’ll be taking you under my wing while you learn the ropes.”

 

Frank already hated the fact that he had barely been in his new job five minutes and he had already been labelled as the new guy. Yes, he knew it was inevitable, but he did hope that his new co workers would look past the fact that he was so new and shiny and a little lacking in certain skills for his role. He would get this. Frank wanted to believe that he had this and he would prove himself. Prove that he was meant for this job role. 

 

“So, where do you want me?” Frank asked, more than ready to get started. 

 

“Let me show you around first,” Derek said, walking out passed Frank before he signalled for him to follow, “So opposite my office you have filing,” Derek pointed to the room opposite where he had come from, “Then you’ve got your bathrooms…” He continued as he walked down the hall with Frank in toe, “Next on the left you have the kitchen. You’ve got your fridge and the coffee machine and stuff like that. Opposite that is Lindsey's office. She’s the deputy district director and the project and grants coordinator-”   
  
“Wait,” Frank stopped Derek when the name rang a bell in his head. His mind went back to the interview he had done and put two and two together, not knowing if he had got four unless it was just a complete coincidence, “Lindsey works here?”   
  
“Yeah,” Derek nodded, wondering why Frank was questioning that, “She works here.”   
  
“As in Lindsey Way. Gerard's wife?” Frank asked, still finding it weird actually calling his boss by his first name.

 

“Yeah,” Derek nodded again with a sigh in his voice, “They work together. They’re like the Brad and Angelina of politics.”

 

“Or like Beyonce and Jay Z,” Frank commented, feeling a little awkward that he knew this information and that he had just blurted it out. Not correcting, just understanding it in his own way thanks to the knowledge he had learnt from Ryan who was unashamedly a fan of Beyonce, “Y’know, all best friends with the Obamas and all into their politics.”   
  
Derek frowned at Frank. He had no idea what he was talking about.

 

“They just work together,” Derek moved on, leaving Frank feeling pretty smug that he actually knew what he was talking about. Derek had no idea what Frank was going on about. He didn’t know anything about that. This type of information was like pop quiz knowledge that Derek really didn’t have time for when he was trying to keep the office running smoothly, “Anyway...at the end of the hall you have the main work area. The bullpen. Everyone else works here. You’ve got our chief of staff, Ray over there.”   
  
Frank noticed a man with a wildish frizz of hair holding a hand up to greet him because he had heard his name being mentioned. Frank nodded, back, his nerves making a new appearance all over again because he had never expected so many people to be working in this office.

 

“Then you’ve got the deputy chief of staff which is Christa, Ray's wife,” Derek continued with the introductions, letting everyone he mentioned notice that the new guy was here, “Cara is our legislative director. She works with Matt, Alex and Rob over there. Patrick is the press secretary. James on the far right is our computer systems manager.”

 

“Someone's got to keep these machines running.” The man Derek had mentioned chuckled, piping up from in the corner to make Derek smirk.

 

“Old Pete over there,” Derek pointed to a youngish looking man who looked up and took notice of Frank, the new guy who really was centre of attention right now for everyone, “He’s our caseworker. Andy is our constituent services representative…”

 

Frank felt somewhat uneasy when he saw the man in question watching him. He nodded for a second before he went back to what he was working on. 

 

“Our aid is Josh who isn’t here right now. you’ll meet him tomorrow,” Derek informed Frank with a small wave of his hand, “Sarah over there,” Derek pointed out a young woman who looked up when she heard her name, “She’s one of our field representatives who you will also be working with.”

 

“Oh,” Frank said, not really knowing what else to say. He nodded, smiling at the person he was apparently going to be working with, but she threw a scowl back at him. Like he had done something wrong, even though he had never worked with her before, “Okay.”

 

“And lastly our legislative counsel is run by Bob and Joe who...are they on coffee run?” Derek asked, knowing that they were working barely fifteen minutes ago, but they were nowhere to be seen now. Their chairs empty.

 

“Went about five minutes ago.” Cara piped up.

 

“They didn’t ask me what I wanted,” Derek grumbled. He had wanted a coffee and to be perfectly honest, there was no way in hell he was going to touch the coffee that was in the kitchen. It wasn’t exactly nice and if there really was going to be a run to the local Starbucks then he rather would have got one from there, “Anyway,” Derek brushed his annoyance to one side, turning on his feet, waving at Frank to follow him back to where they came from, “You, you come this way.”

 

“Am I not working with those guys?” Frank asked, unsure of where he was going to fit in in this new work environment.

 

“You, new guy, you will be working in the same office as me,” Derek told him before he waved for Frank to join him where he had found him about five minutes before. Frank entered the room, now noticing the second chair on the other side of the desk that ran alongside the wall, another length of desk separating the workspace for the two of them, “You’re desk is all set up. You have direct lines to everyone on your phone, computer all ready to go…”

 

“What do you want me to get started on first? Is there any paperwork I need to fill out because it’s my first day-”   
  
“Gerard will sort that all out with you later,” Derek interrupted him, picking up a stack of papers and files from his desk before he turned to Frank, “For now, I need you to go and files these.”

 

“Oh,” Frank stuttered out, quickly shrugging his bag off before he grabbed what Derek was handing him. Holding all of it carefully so he didn’t drop anything, “Okay...filing...yeah.”

 

“Everything is alphabetized so you shouldn’t have any trouble. But if you do, come and get me,” Derek told Frank simply, not really wanting to go into great detail about how they filed everything. That was time consuming and Derek really didn’t have the time as he sat himself back down in his chair, turning his attention back to his computer, “Okay?”   
  
“Okay.” Frank nodded, confident that he was going to be able to do this without having to come and ask Derek for help. This guy clearly looked like he didn’t have time to be showing Frank the ropes, even though he said he was. So Frank walked out of the office, heading for the room opposite, pushing the door open with his shoulder so he didn’t accidentally drop all of the things that he had been asked to file. Stepping into the room, he hoped that his first task as assistant was going to be quick and simple, but seeing the filing cabinets all labelled in a way that worked for the office, labelled in a way that Derek hadn’t explained to him, Frank knew that he was going to be here for a while. or at least until he figured out how this office did all of its filing.

 

Fifteen minutes later, Frank reappeared. He felt a sense of achievement come over him as he walked back into his new office. His bag still sat on his chair. Derek watched him for a second, setting his bag to the side of his desk before he noticed that he was being watched.

 

“Took you fifteen minutes to file.” Derek commented, looking back at his computer monitor while he pushed his glasses up his nose.

 

“Sorry,” Frank mumbled. He could sense the tone in Derek’s voice. From the way he spoke, it was obvious that he had been slow. He had taken too long to do what was probably nothing more than a simple task for Derek. But seeing as he hadn’t been shown how the filing was done here and hadn’t had someone supervising him, Frank still felt proud of himself because he had done it single handedly. He hadn’t needed to come out and ask Derek for help. He had figured out the order in which everything was filed for the whole office without having to question it. Yes, he had taken longer, but for his first day, Frank felt confident about the fact that he had done it all by himself, “Took me a few minutes to figure out your ordering system.”

 

“You figured it out without having to ask for help?” Derek asked curiously. He hadn’t seen anyone go into the room after Frank had gone in so it wasn’t like he had been able to ask someone else for help. Maybe Frank had come out and someone else had spoken to him. Got to him before he got to Derek so they offered to help him.

 

“Yeah,” Frank nodded, feeling smug because Derek was looking at him like it should have been a difficult task to do without any assistance. It hadn’t been though and Frank responded with a smile, “Your recent files go near the door on the left, older files to the back. You’ve got everything colour coded and in alphabetical order so it was really easy to sort through once I figured it all out.”

 

“Impressive.” Derek tried to sound enthusiastic over the fact that Frank had done it all by himself without any help, but his voice came out somewhat flat and even Frank picked up on the way Derek just seemed a little cheesed off about the fact that he nailed his first task. he should have been proud, but even Frank was picking up on a vibe now.

 

An off vibe, but Frank didn’t care. He was so happy that he had done alright so far.

 

“So now,” Derek started up, turning in his chair so he could face Frank a bit more, pointing towards his computer, “You should all be logged in, if you want to start running through the emails now that would be good. Anything important or urgent will be flagged as such. I’ve cleared some of the inbox this morning but if you want to-”

 

Derek was cut off mid explanation as a door behind them opened. Frank hadn’t even noticed that there was another door. Derek hadn’t said anything to him so Frank had merely focused on where he was going to be working and all the information he had been fed since he had started. Derek barely batted an eyelid over it, but Frank turned and looked, not jumping as such, but surprised that there was another room attached to the one he was in and someone was walking out.

 

Someone who Frank honestly shouldn’t have been surprised about seeing, but he was thanks to the way that it felt like his stomach had just done a full back somersault inside of him, somehow landing perfectly. Yes Frank felt nervous and somehow excited and wow, was he really giddy? He wasn’t sure, but he remained composed on the outside even though in his own head, he was doing a number on himself.

 

Or more his new boss was doing a real number on him.

 

Gerard walked out of his office confidently. Walking tall, Frank couldn’t take his eyes off him. He felt like he should have done, but he really couldn't help himself. The way he walked out into their office, the confidence and authority practically dripping from him. Even in the bright blue suit he was wearing, the charge he took had Frank realising that there was more to this man for him than he originally thought. 

 

Definitely something that made Frank's mouth go dry just at the sight of him, walking over and noticing that Frank was already underway with whatever Derek had told him to do. 

 

Or at least he was trying to be. It was hard to concentrate with such a striking form of a man in his presence. His thoughts right now were definitely ones that he wouldn't be sharing with Ryan tonight when he got back home.

 

“Ah Derek, I see you have already got Frank working,” Gerard mentioned, taking note of how Frank was sat at his desk. Frank felt Gerard’s eyes on him, scanning over him. Frank couldn't figure out the expression on his face. Nerves blossomed in his stomach all over again, knowing full well that how he looked probably stuck out more than a sore thumb. The hideous plaid. Frank hoped that Gerard wasn't judging him because of the fact that he was wearing one of Ryan's suits but he didn't know and didn't want to mention it in case Gerard really hadn’t thought about it at all.

 

“Yeah, showed him around too,” Derek told Gerard briefly, “Done brief introductions with everyone as well.”

 

“Excellent,” Gerard praised Derek before he turned his attention to his newest member of staff, “How are you today Frank. Well rested for your first day?”

 

“Yes sir,” Frank said as confidently as possible, feeling the need to stand up while he spoke to Gerard. Also feeling the need to thank him. WIthout Gerard, he would have been out of a job. Though if Gerard hadn’t approached him last week asking him to work with him, then Frank wouldn’t have lost his job. That was all in the past now though so Frank had to say something, so thankful of this man and his need to have Frank working for him, “Can I just say, thank you for giving me this opportunity. I am more than grateful and I can assure you that I will not let you down.”

 

Derek rolled his eyes then. Sucking up to the boss already, he thought.

 

“Of course Frank. You are my go-to man,” Gerard smiled at him, placing a hand on his shoulder that made Frank internally stumble when he squeezed, “I hope you realise the responsibilities that come with your new title.”

 

“I do sir.” Frank told him, “But uh. What exactly is my new title, sir?”

 

“You,” Gerard straightened up, looking at Derek for a moment before he glanced down at his newest recruit, “You are my Personal Assistant in charge of scheduling, executive inclusion and, what was it?”

 

“Field representation.” Derek added in as he pushed his glasses up on his nose.

 

“Gotcha.” Frank lied weakly.

 

“Good boy.” 

 

Two words that made Frank practically shiver.

 

He went to sit down, ready to continue with the work that Derek had told him to do, but Gerard continued and he felt the need to keep standing. It would be rude if he sat down right now as his boss spoke.

 

“I was informed that you arrived ten minutes early,” Gerard commented. His receptionist had notified him of Frank’s arrival the moment that she had sent him to Derek, “I’m impressed Frank.”

 

“I would rather come early than late, sir.” Frank said in response, hoping to continue to impress his new employer. 

 

“Yes, some people would…” Gerard continued, taking note of how Frank appeared to be trying to come across as trying to impress him some more with his words, “But you must remember, it’s not always about coming early. As much as most people prefer that, I like to believe that coming when asked to is key as well. Listening to instructions and following through with the orders...”

 

“Yes sir.” Frank nodded, feeling almost uncomfortable with the way Gerard's eyes were on him. Piercing him and leaving him so much more exposed than he thought he would be. It wasn’t a bad feeling. Definitely one he could feel him getting used to, especially if Gerard was going to look at him the way that he was with those eyes. Plus the way he looked too. Frank felt like he had more than one purpose now with his job, including being in awe with the man that stood before him.

 

“Speaking of orders,” Gerard began, turning his attention to Derek, “Did I hear right that both Bob and Joe have gone out to get coffee?”   
  
“Yeah,” Derek sighed, wishing that he had been told that they were going so that he could get them to grab him a coffee which he desperately wanted, “They went without taking my order.”   
  
“Didn’t ask me either, pity.” Gerard mentioned, pushing a hand into the pocket on his blue pants. Frank felt himself watching his actions, immediately stopping himself when he realised where he was looking. A blush grew on his cheeks immediately, turning his attention to anything else so it didn’t look like he was just staring at his bosses crotch. He hadn’t been, he swore, but it was the fact that it was so close and he looked so good to the point that Frank didn’t even want to let that kind of thought out because of the implications it could incur. The new assistant staring at his boss, thinking that he was attractive to the point that he wondered if it was possible for any form of cognitive thought to just melt away. Possible for his stomach to feel like it was churning away in the best way possible.

 

This was something that Frank hadn’t experienced for a long time. Since high school. It really wasn’t a good idea to be getting like this over his new boss, but it wasn’t exactly something he was willing to stop either. Call it him having some eye candy in the workplace. 

 

“Would you mind running out and grabbing me a coffee then, please?” Gerard asked Frank, offering him some money, “It won’t take you long and then you can get back to whatever Derek had assigned you to do.”

 

“O-of course,” Frank nodded quickly, taking the money from Gerard before putting it in his own pocket, “What can I get for you sir?”   
  
“Venti latte, two sugars added to it. Ask them not to put the foam on top. Derek, what would you like?”   
  
“You don’t have to get me a coffee-”   
  
“Nonsense,” Gerard cut him off instantly, “They forgot to take your order. What would you like?”   
  
“Grande cappuccino with chocolate,” Derek told him which Frank took note of in his head, hoping not to mix up the way they wanted their drinks. It was simple enough, but Frank knew that he was a bit of a klutz when it came to ordering stuff. Unless it was him ordering something for Ryan, then he really knew what he was doing, “Thank you Gerard.”   
  
“My pleasure,” Gerard smiled at Derek before he turned to look back at Frank, the eye contact making Frank immediately look to the ground because wow, really, those eyes, “Frank, did you have breakfast this morning?”   
  
Oh god, Frank thought, not this question again. He felt like lying and saying that he had done. He didn’t want to admit to Gerard that he hadn’t eaten this morning because he had been too nervous about starting work, but he felt like he just couldn’t lie to Gerard. The way he looked at him, it made Frank want to do nothing else other than tell the truth, “Uh...not really sir.”   
  


Gerard shook his head lightly, tutting, “Here,” He said, handing some more money to Frank, “Get yourself some breakfast. You can’t start the day on an empty stomach. What did I say to you the other week when you interviewed me-”   
  
“That breakfast is one of the most important meals of the day,” Frank cut Gerard off, immediately feeling himself shrink a little because he felt bad for cutting him off. He bowed his head down, looking at his hands before he apologised, “Sorry sir.”

 

“Good boy,” Gerard nodded at him, accepting his apology, “Now run along. Don’t forget to get yourself something to eat, okay?”   
  
“Yes sir.” Frank nodded before he exited the office, hoping that he wasn’t going to get too lost on his way to the Starbucks that he had never been to before.

 

\---

 

Three coffees and a long queue later, Frank was on his way back. It had taken him longer than he thought it would to get the three coffees. Walking into the Starbucks, he had never seen a queue so long before. Eventually he had gotten served though and he got the orders right which made him smile. The grande cappuccino for Derek had chocolate on it like he had asked for. Gerards venti latte had two sugars stirred into it and he even remembered to ask them not to put foam on top of it. He had also gotten a latte for himself, wedged into the carrier that he was balancing in his right hand. In his left hand, he was holding a small bag that contained his breakfast, the muffin that he had seen and wanted to eat. He half thought about eating it on the way back, but something in him made him stop, keeping the food safe while he walked back. Showing Gerard that he had in fact got himself something to eat, it wasn’t like he was trying to impress him or prove to him that he could follow orders. It was just breakfast, but the way that Gerard had insisted that he should eat, Frank just felt the need to show him that he was at least listening to him, starting his day off right a little later than planned by finally having what he should have had before he even got to work.

 

He arrived back at the office with a small smile on his face, walking around to his desk. Frank handed Derek his cappuccino, telling him that there was plenty of chocolate on top which Derek thanked him for. Gerard however was nowhere to be seen. He had been ready to hand his coffee to him, also giving him the small change that he still had before telling him that he had in fact bought himself some breakfast, but Frank paused. He looked down at the larger take out cup that was left in the carrier, wondering what he was going to have to do with it now.

 

“He’s in his office.” Derek piped up, second guessing that Frank had no idea where Gerard was right now.

 

Frank nodded at that information. He just didn’t know if he could walk in, handing over the coffee. Yes he was supposedly his right hand man, but he had manners and he knew not to judge barge in, even if it was with a coffee.

 

“Just take it through to him,” Derek second guessed again, looking and seeing Frank looking at the door that Gerard had appeared from earlier. For a kid, which Derek assumed he was, he didn’t seem to be the brightest spark when it came to what he was going to do with the coffee that Gerard had asked him for, “He’s in there.”

 

“Okay,” Frank nodded, carefully prizing the coffee from the carrier. He held the cup in his hand, walking over to the door before he paused, other hand lifting up so he could knock.

 

Don’t just barge in, Frank thought, he could be busy.

 

Frank waited after he had knocked. He listened out, wondering if Gerard was just going to call out and tell him to come in, or whether he was going to come to the door and see who was wanting to see him. A few seconds past before he heard a  _ yes?  _ coming from inside the office.

 

That was his cue. He had been granted access and took it upon himself to let himself into the room, trying not to stare while he walked in, carefully carrying the latte towards the desk.

 

The inside of the office stood out from the rest of the place that Frank had seen. As he stepped into the room, holding onto the coffee, he took in the interior. Wowed by it, Franks eyes darted around quickly, taking in everything he could as quickly as possible while still trying to walk in a straight line towards the desk.

 

He didn’t want to look like he was gawking. Come across as completely professional even though inside Frank was somewhat amazed by the office.

 

The floors were white, completely different to the rest of the floors in the office, making it stand out more as Frank walked across it. The other thing that stood out was an orange rug that he would never have expected. Maybe he has a thing for orange, Frank thought, knowing not to question even though he did wonder. 

 

A long expanse of window stretched out to his left, showing what looked like a patio area, dotted with one or two potted plants. The walls were white too. It felt far too clean for Franks liking. Ryan probably would have been in heaven if he could have seen just how pristine the walls were. 

 

The wall on the far side from Frank wasn’t white though. Instead, a large mahogany bookcase filled the wall. The wood a deep red brown, completely in contrast to the rest of the room which felt so clinical and appeared so bright. The shelves were filled with an array of things, ranging from books which seemed like the obvious thing to store, going on to ornaments and trinkets, going onto the large painting that was right in the middle of the whole unit. Frank glanced at it. Clearly it was abstract, just like the other paintings that he had seen dotted around the office. This one was different though. A dark canvas with what looked like a smear of a blaze in the middle of it. Oranges from dark to light, lining a bright yellow centre, with white in the middle of it all. The centre which Frank focussed on for a split second before he looked at the one thing he  was heading towards.

 

The oversized desk that matched the bookshelf in colour. Such furniture Frank didn’t even want to consider the price tag that had been attached to the desk once. All he took notice of was the fact that it was modern like the bookshelf too. There was a few things dotted on it, lamp, laptop, paperwork, empty coffee cup which had probably been the first drink of the day. But that wasn’t Frank’s main focus now. No, he peeled his eyes away from looking around the office in a second, finally bringing his attention onto the one thing in the room that made him feel like his stomach was really doing some sort of acrobatic display inside of him.

 

“Your coffee sir.” Frank cleared his throat, announcing what he had brought before he came to a stop about a foot away from the desk. In his head, he knew that he should just put the coffee down and walk away once Gerard had thanked in, but something grounded him and he remained stood still, his hand still holding onto the take out cup of coffee.

 

“Thank you,” Gerard said without even moving from where Frank had found him, sat in his chair behind his desk, one leg crossed over the other while he leafed through some papers. Frank swallowed, watching Gerard for a second, sporting the bright blue suit that stuck out just as much as the orange hair that looked scraped back, like he had run his hands through his hair at some point. The thought alone and the way Gerard looked made Frank feel like he had to pull his eyes away from him, looking down at the coffee in his hand still, wondering if he should just put it down, until, “You can put it down.”   
  
Frank did just that, setting the take out cup down carefully onto the desk, avoiding the phone and other papers that were strewn across the desk. He nodded once he had done it, taking it upon himself to go and carry on with his work because he didn’t have anything else to say or do. He had done what had been asked of him, it was time to get back to work now.

 

“Did you get breakfast?” Gerard asked quickly, finally looking up from the papers to look at Frank.

 

He stopped moving then, turning to face Gerard again, nodding at him, “Yeah, I have food at my desk.”   
  
“What did you get?” 

 

“Just coffee and a muffin.”

 

Gerard nodded at that, finding what Frank had told him acceptable, “Good boy.”   
  
Frank found himself unable to move for a second when Gerard reached out for his coffee, bringing it up to his lips to take a sip. It was a split second in time when Frank thought back to what he had told the barista to make. He knew he had got the drink right, but he still doubted himself, hoping and praying to god that he had got the coffee just how Gerard liked it.

 

Had he said the right amount of sugar? Did he tell them not to put the foam on top? Instantly he just couldn’t remember, feeling nerves in his stomach over a simple latte.

 

“Well done,” Gerard spoke once he had had a mouthful of his drink, setting the cup back down onto the desk, “You have done something right first time which Brendon could not do. A simple latte order seemed to baffle him far too easily.”   
  
Frank didn’t know whether to take that as a compliment. It sounded like it, but the jibe at Brendon threw him off, “Thank you?”   
  
“You’re welcome.” Gerard told him quickly before turning his attention back to the papers that he had been looking through moments before.

 

Frank took that as his cue to leave. He nodded, turning to leave, but something in his head drew his attention back to the orange rug that was splayed out on the floor in front of him. It was the kind of thing that he knew to keep to himself, but for some reason, god knows what, his brain to mouth filter decided to not function. Like it had decided that Frank had got this and he wasn’t about to go and do something stupid. Of course he wouldn’t, it was his first day at work. How in the world would he be able to do anything stupid when he was only just starting, proving himself to his new employer that he was smart and clever and not a complete idiot who really deserved to shove his foot in his mouth, because that was where it deserved to be after the words left his mouth far too quickly.

 

“I see you like orange.”

 

Gerard didn’t say a word. He sat completely still in his chair, looking at Frank who had turned back around to say that to him, the smirk playing on his lips while Gerard looked at him with utter confusion on his face.

 

“Y’know,” Frank continued when Gerard didn’t say anything. He probably didn’t get it. Surrounded by the vivid colour all the time, it was probably normal to him now, “Because you have a lot of orange in your office. The painting...your rug...your hair.”   
  
“Are you saying my hair looks like carpet?” Gerard shot his question back instantaneously, making Frank realise what he had said and how it had probably sounded to his new employer. It had probably been the most stupidest thing he could have ever said. Why didn’t he just keep his mouth shut, walking out of the office to go back to his desk where he could carry on without wishing that he would just die because the embarrassment over what he had said wasn’t killing him quick enough.

 

“No,” Frank blurted out fast, shaking his head while his cheeks heated up, “God no. I was...it was just a comment. I-I meant nothing by it.”   
  
Gerard narrowed his eyes at Frank then, placing his papers neatly on the desk, putting his full attention onto Frank. That made him feel like he was shrinking for a second. Those eyes on him, making him look down because god why had he been so stupid? Why couldn’t he have just kept his mouth shut, “Don’t you have work to be getting on with?”   
  
“I do,” Frank nodded, hoping that this was a sign that he hadn’t just gone and fucked up for the first time in his new job, “I should probably just-” he said, pointing towards the office door.

 

“I think you should,” Gerard agreed casually, making it hard for Frank to tell if he was cross at him or not. He was so complicated to figure out that Frank was just going to take this opportunity and move on very quickly from the stupid thing he had just said, “Don’t forget to eat.”   
  
“I won’t.” Frank said, turning on his feet to leave.

 

“I suppose the good thing is, if you spill your coffee on that suit, we wouldn’t notice because it is so busy.” Gerard commented far too casually, like Frank had done to him. That was probably pay back and Frank knew that he had it coming after what he had said. He sighed, almost being able to picture the smirk that was most likely on Gerard’s face right now.

 

“Trust me, Ryan would notice.” Frank shot back, not even turning to look at Gerard, walking out of the office to go back to his desk. He had work to do and now was not the time to be turning round to show how embarrassed he was over what he had done, let alone turning around to see the way Gerard had raised his eyebrows over what he had said back to him. Just move on, go back to work and hope that this was all going to blow over very rapidly while he kept to himself at his desk.

 

Or he could have banged his head against the desk if Derek wasn’t there. He definitely felt like he needed to do it after how he had gone and fucked up.

 


	13. Chapter 12: There's More Than Meets the Eye When it Comes to Apple Pie

“Frank?”

 

“Yes, sir?” Frank jumped and turned to see Gerard standing in the doorway of the kitchenette of their building, leaning casually against it as Frank stirred milk into his second mug of coffee.

 

“Do you have prior plans tonight?”

 

“Tonight?” Frank frowned, thinking quickly, noting that it was definitely not Tuesday, “Nope. No, sir.”

 

“Good. I need you tonight. I need you to help me out after hours. Is that okay with you?” Gerard raised an eyebrow and Frank swallowed at the way he was being looked up and down.

 

“Perfect, sir.” Frank nodded as he tapped his spoon on the rim of his cup and set it aside, lifting the mug to his lips, “Nothing else to do.”

 

“Good.” Gerard trailed off, looking at him once more, “Good.”

 

He disappeared then, leaving Frank alone and pondering on his words. He now wondered what Gerard needed him for later on as he sat in his chair, leaning back as he sipped on his coffee. It must have been important.

 

Frank glanced over at Derek, who was busy typing away with his earbuds in, obviously Mr Way didn’t mind music in the workplace, Frank needed to remember that.

 

He looked at the clock, realising it was literally almost time to go home, and then he realised that was for everyone else but him. He slid further into his chair, taking another sip as the coffee warmed his hands.

 

He had finished his assigned tasks ages ago, much to Derek’s dismay, and was told to at least try and look busy until Gerard gives him something else to do. And Frank was the king of looking busy, he had perfected that maneuver in high school already.

 

He watched as Derek began to pack away his things, putting his travel mug and lunch box back in his backpack along with the rest of his stuff.

 

“What?” Derek asked when he noted Frank watching him.

 

“Nothing.” Frank shrugged, “Checking out your shirt. It’s really cool.”

 

“Thanks.” Derek smiled awkwardly, pushing his glasses up on his nose, “My girlfriend got it for me.”

 

“Ah nice.” Frank smiled, “You still together?”

 

“Yeah, Lindsey and I have been together for almost two years now.” Derek stood up as he logged out of his computer.

 

“Lindsey?”

 

“Different Lindsey.” Derek remarked and Frank chuckled, setting his coffee down, “Definitely.”

 

“Right yeah.”

 

“What about you?” Derek asked, “Dating?”

 

“I-” Frank was about to answer when someone he didn’t recognise poked their head into his office, making them both stop, a burly man with strawberry blonde hair.

 

“Who’s that?” He asked.

 

“Oh.” Derek cleared his throat, “New guy. Frank that’s Bob.”

 

“Sup.” Frank nodded with a friendly smile as Bob looked him over.

 

“He dresses like a spaz.” Was Bob’s only comment before he looked at Derek again, leaving Frank overly disgruntled and pink in the face, “You coming to Dezzy’s with us tonight?”

 

“We going straight after work?”

 

“As always.” Bob grinned and Frank frowned between the two of them, watching Derek pack up.

 

“Excuse me, gentlemen.” Gerard purred softly from behind Frank, making them all turn and look at him, seeing the Congressman standing yet again in the doorway to his office with a smile on his lips, “Am I interrupting?”

 

“Not at all, sir.” Derek smiled, “We were just making plans.”

 

“Oh well carry on, I can wait.” Gerard smiled, putting his hands in his pockets as Derek looked at Bob again.

 

“Are the guys all coming as well?” Derek asked before he looked at Frank, “And you, new guy?”

 

“Me, what?” Frank stiffened up, looking at Derek when he realised he was now the main focus, his eyes going around the room, “What?”

 

“We’re all going out to Dezzy’s now after work for a drink, d’you wanna come?” Derek asked as he put his bag on his shoulder and walked to the door of his office, standing there as Frank got up.

 

“Well I…” He frowned as he followed them out o the office and into the hallway. He saw the rest of the employees all standing at the door to leave, all looking at their exchange.

 

Sudden indecision hit him as he looked at Derek and Bob and then back at Gerard, who was standing stoic behind him, looking expectant.

 

“Yeah? You coming or what, new guy?” Bob asked and Frank let out a small whimper, looking at Gerard and at his coworkers, his moral compass wobbling as though he were a giant magnet, spinning around between his two major choices.

 

“Frank…?” Gerard asked out carefully.

 

That was what swayed him, that voice was what tilted him. He turned on his heel and looked at Gerard, letting out a sigh, “Yeah. Yeah, I’m coming.” He turned to look at Derek, biting nervously on his lip, “N- Next time, I promised I would work overtime tonight.”

 

“Fine,” Derek shrugged as everyone began filing out, “Your loss, new guy. See you tomorrow.”

 

“Yeah…” Frank muttered, frowning as he stuffed his hands in his pockets.

 

“Frank.” Gerard called from his office, making the latter yelp and rush in, realising he had been standing on the spot for ages.

 

“Yes.” He breathed out, “I’m here.”

 

“Good boy.” Gerard nodded, “Now come here.”

 

Frank walked over as Gerard got up and walked to his bookshelf, scanning over the vast collection as Frank sat himself in one of the chairs at Gerard’s large desk, facing Gerard’s large leathery chair. Gerard returned, setting a book down in front of Frank. It wasn’t a large book, it wasn’t a fancy book, it looked like a simple bound notebook with the word “employees’ written on the front.

 

“One of the most important things there is to know about your job, or any job for that matter, besides your work, is who you work with.” Gerard began and Frank nodded in agreement. Gerard leaned in, his hand on the book when he opened it to the first page, “Tell me Frank, what is your job title?”

 

“Oh!” Frank raised his eyebrows, “I’m your assistant and your scheduler and something about a representative.” He smiled.

 

“Half correct.” Gerard smiled, perching himself on the desk, “I didn’t ask what you did, I asked what your title is.”

 

“I- I don’t remember.” Frank replied honestly and looked down, “Sorry, sir.”

 

“That’s quite alright. I don’t expect you to know the first time. Pop.” Gerard stated and Frank frowned and looked up.

 

“I- I’m sorry?”

 

“P.O.P.” Gerard repeated, “Easy for everyone to remember. Patience, obedience and practice.”

 

“Right.” Frank smiled, “I like that. Pop.” 

 

“Your title, my dear boy…” Gerard smiled, “You are my Personal Assistant in charge of scheduling, executive inclusion and field representation.”

 

“That’s the one.” Frank chuckled, “Now can I ask what that means?”

 

“I’d be insulted if you didn’t.” Gerard nodded, “You’re my personal assistant so you do as I ask of you. You’re my scheduler so you make all of my appointments, tell me about them and manage them in an orderly fashion. And as a field representative, which is very similar to a case worker,, you will act as a liaison between congresspersons, constituents and government agencies or other organizations.”

 

“Right…” Frank whispered.

 

“Now let’s go through who works for me, hmm?” Gerard smiled as he turned the page, showing a photo of a man with light caramel-coloured skin and a bushy mane of hair in almost the same shade, “This is Ray Toro, my chief of staff. Do you know what he does?”

 

“Chief of staff is the highest ranking and usually the highest paid legislative staffer in the office.” Frank bit his lip as he looked at Ray’s formal photo, “They oversee all of us and are in charge of making decisions that benefit the good of everyone here. They’re meant to be the most experienced in politics and policy initiatives.”

 

“Very, very good.” Gerard praised, making Frank smile proudly, “Very good.” He turned the page, showing a photo of a light skinned woman with a short brown bob of curls and ruby lips, “This is Christa Toro.”

 

“Ray’s wife?” Frank asked out and Gerard nodded, “His second in command.”

 

“Very nice. Christa is the Deputy Chief of staff and works as Ray’s assistant in everything. Like a team.”

 

“Right.” Frank nodded and Gerard turned the page yet again, another woman this time with thin gold-rimmed glasses and long brown hair.

 

“Ah, Cara Shaw.” Gerard smiled, “Wonderful girl. I’ve known her since College. She is now my Legislative Director. What does a Legislative Director do exactly, boy?”

 

“Um…” Frank looked at Cara as he racked his brain, realising that Gerard had hopped off of the edge of the desk and was now standing at his side, leaning over to look at the book with him, making his concentration falter, “They… They oversee legislative staff.”

 

“So not all staff like Ray?” Gerard asked quietly and Frank shook his head, “Good. And Cara works with,” Gerard turned the next page to a man with a full, dark beard over a baby face and semi-shaved head, “Matt Olson.”

 

“Who’s he?”

 

“He’s the Senior legislative assistant.” Gerard smiled, “Cara’s assistant. Handles Member’s priority issues, committee, district or mission related. He develops legislation and strategies for legislative priorities; staffs Member at mark-ups and hearings.”

 

“Right…” Frank muttered as Gerard leaned closer, a hand on the back of his chair, making him straighten up and lean in to the book, “Who’s next?”

 

“You’re rather eager, Frank.”

 

“I…” Frank went pink, “I just wanna know.”

 

“Next is,” Gerard turned to a photo of a man with brown hair to his ears and another impressive beard, “Alex Grippo. He’s a legislative assistant.”

 

“But not a senior?” Frank frowned as Gerard shook his head, “So he works under Matt? ANd I think… He handles issues outside the Member’s priority areas, briefs Member on votes and hearings, staffs Member at hearings; meets with constituents, answers constituent mail, prepares speeches and record statements.”

 

“And Cara.” Gerard added and turned the page to see a man with a longer, muscular face with an even thicker beard and squinted eyes, reminding Frank almost of Frankenstein’s monster in a way, but less terrifying, “Rob Hughes. He’s the Legislative correspondent. What do they do, boy?”

 

“Oh!” Frank frowned and leaned in, “My friend is an L.C. They’re responsible for drafting letters in response to constituents’ comments and questions. And legislative issues.”

 

“Good boy.” Gerard smiled, giving Frank’s shoulder a squeeze, making Frank’s leg automatically want to jerk under the desk, ‘Next we have… Ah, Patrick Stump.”

 

Frank looked at the ginger-haired man who couldn’t be much older than him with his slim face and bright eyes, his hair short and fringe slick and a thick pair of black glasses perched on his nose, “What’s he do?”

 

“He’s the press secretary and communications director.” Gerard pulled the book closer, “Know what they do?”

 

“He’s responsible for the relationship between you and the media, the liaison for local and national press. He issues press releases, right?”

 

“Correct.” Gerard smiled, “Very good. You know your stuff.”

 

“I try.” Frank gushed.

 

“Now…” Gerard turned to the next page with a picture of himself, “Who is this?”

 

“That’s… That’s you, sir.”

 

“And what am I?” Gerard looked at Frank, their faces inches apart, making Frank swallow and shudder, “Hmm?”

 

“You’re the congressman.”

 

“And another name for myself would be?” Gerard pried and Frank breathed out shakily.

 

“M- My boss…”

 

“Very good…” Gerard smiled, “But-” He looked away, letting Frank relax slightly, “I’m also the district representative. And in this case I also happen to be the district Director.”

 

“Oh. Yeah- fuck- of course.” Frank closed his eyes, cursing himself at his ignorance, “I knew that.”

 

“I’m sure you did… You’re getting distracted.”

 

“I…” Frank frowned, growing pink, “I guess… Sorry.”

 

“That’s quite alright.” Gerard smiled, “Do you know what I do?”

 

“You... “ Frank frowned again, “A district representative is elected to a two-year term serving the people of a specific congressional district, right? Among other duties, I guess the most important are representatives introduce bills and resolutions, offer amendments and serve on committees.”

 

“Perfect.” Gerard smiled, “Good boy. And as the District Director I manage overall district operation and workflow. I’m responsible for recruiting, hiring, training, and managing district staff; represents Member at events; monitors district issues and politics, conducts staff outreach.”

 

Frank smiled, feeling slightly relieved. The last thing he wanted was to fuck up Gerard’s damn job description and look like a total fucking nitwit, “Thank you, sir.”

 

“Next in the book…” Gerard turned the page to show a blank frame where a photo should be and Frank’s very own title beneath it, “Ah, look at that. Right beneath me.”

 

“Well…” Frank giggled and leaned forward, “I am below you, aren’t I?”

 

“As you should be.” Gerard smirked and Frank chuckled, turning the page himself, looking down at the picture of Derek, clean-shaven this time, an unnerving sight for Frank, “Oh, Derek.”

 

“Derek.” Frank muttered, “What’s he do?”

 

“He,” Gerard leaned in again beside Frank, “Mister Zanetti is the Office Manager and he is also the Staff assistant. The title is rather self descriptive, isn’t it?”

 

“A tad.” Frank chuckled, “He’s in charge of the office, isn’t he? Assists Chief of Staff in managing office functions, complying with CAA and ethics policies, and financial disclosure reporting… Maintains office equipment, furniture, supplies, and filing systems and manages office accounts.”

 

“Smart boy. But as Staff Assistant he does a lot more than that. Once you’ve mastered being my assistant, we’ll see about you taking on that role. They handle word processing, filing, faxing Also responding to general constituent requests, processes tour and flag requests, staffs the front reception area, greets visitors and answers telephones.” Gerard chuckled dryly when Frank swallowed hard, a sudden nervous sinking in his stomach, “Who’s next?”

 

“James Dewees.” Frank stated matter-of-factly, looking at the much older chubby man with his all-over-the-place chestnut hair and his smile, “He’s the… Computer system and mail manager. So he’s the tech nerd who fixes all of the electronic stuff and he also happens to be Postman Pat?”

 

Gerard chuckled at that, smiling brightly at Frank, “Your humour is certainly unique as it were, and nicely timed. Yes he is. And I’ll be sure to tell him if his new nickname tomorrow morning.”

 

“Oh God.” Frank paled, looking up at Gerard suddenly, ‘Wait. No- I-”

 

“He’ll take it in good spirit. What he formally does, however, is that he manages all computer hardware and software systems used by office, maintains office Web site, Internet and Intranet systems. He acts as liaison with vendors and HIR, answers staff’s computer questions and manages constituent mail processing.” Gerard winked and turned the page, smiling widely, “My Lindsey.”

 

Frank looked down at the page with a frown at the woman with the doe brown eyes, bright red lips and her blonde hair back in what Frank assumed to be a hair clip with lengthy strands hanging in a frame around her face.

 

“Ballato?” Frank looked up, “She didn’t take your name?”

 

“She never wanted to. She may be my wife but she’s very set in her ways and found it  unnecessary to take my name when she wants to be known as her own person and not just as a Congressman’s wife.” Gerard smiled, “She’s such an empowered woman.”

 

“I can tell.” Frank pursed his lips, impressed already, “I didn’t see her today.”

 

“She was out with a friend of hers for a lunch today and had appointments out of office. She’ll be in tomorrow. She’s been very excited to meet my new lackey.” Gerard mused, pursing his lips as Frank scowled ruefully up at his boss, “Relax, Frank.”

 

“So what does Lindsey do here?”

 

“Besides keep me happy?” Gerard asked with an almost hint of playfulness if it were at all possible, “ She’s the Deputy district director and the projects and grants coordinator.”

 

“Oh.” Frank scowled, “I- I don’t know what that is.”

 

“She is in charge of and including, she assists in obtaining federal and private funding for constituents, addresses needs of local governments, private and civic organizations and other constituents.”

 

“Wow…” Frank muttered softly, “That’s a lot of shit.”

 

“It is a lot of shit. But she handles it and more.” Gerard turned the page, “Ah, the office clown.”

 

“Pete Wentz?” Frank frowned at the platinum-blonde haired man with his pouted lips and bright eyes, “He’s the… Caseworker.”

 

“You’ll be working with him when you do field rep work. In politics, a caseworker is a type of legislative staffer responsible for dealing with constituent services- services provided to the constituents of a legislator. Caseworkers often deal with individual or family concerns, such as obtaining social services.” Gerard smiled, “Got all of that?”

 

“Most of it, yeah.” Frank answered truthfully as Gerard leaned in again and turned the page to another square-faced man with short brown hair and a gingery beard, “Andy Hurley?”

 

“He works closely with Pete.” Gerard stated simply, “He’s a Constituent services representative. Similar to a caseworker. What’s the difference, boy?”

 

“Not much except the title but a lot of politicians split up the jobs of a caseworker between two because the workload can get hefty.”

 

“Not many people know that.” Gerard seemed surprised, “Why different titles then?”

 

“That…” Frank frowned, “That I don’t know.”

 

“Because they kept wanting to know who was in charge of who so I eventually gave them different titles to stop the arguments every five minutes when one told the other what to do.” Gerard rolled his eyes, “But they’re fantastic at their jobs so I let them have their official titles as is.”

 

Frank couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought of the two men bickering in Gerard’s office while he tried to sort them out. And Frank had no doubt in his mind that Gerard was definitely a man who would sort problems out very quickly.

 

“Our Congressional Aide. A Mister Joshua Dun.” Gerard gestured to the book and Frank looked down to see a scruffy-chinned man near his own age with a bubblegum-pink coloured fluff of a mohawk on his head and dark eyes, “I think you two would get on well.”

 

“Ah…” Frank frowned.

“What does he do here, boy?” Gerard asked and Frank frowned at the photo.

 

“I have no idea.”

 

“Mister Dun is more of a here-and-there man in the office. He works with the other employees doing whatever else needs done. He’s only a temp but he’s been a temp for a couple years now. A congressional aide supports a congressperson in whatever duties are deemed necessary. They perform all duties ranging from research on specific legislative bills to simple administrative tasks such as handling emails for their assigned congressperson.” 

 

“Oh I see. He’s like the office’s ‘every-job’ guy.” Frank nodded.

 

“Exactly.” Gerard smiled, “He did your job for a while but he told me I was very high maintenance and decided to work with the others.” Gerard smirked then, “Lovely boy.”

 

“I…” Frank frowned, “Weren’t you mad?”

 

“Why should I be? He’s right.” Gerard waved a hand, “I’ve had over nine assistants in the past two years. None of them can do what I ask within capacity.”

 

“That’s comforting.” Frank muttered, immediately changing the subject as he turned the page, “Sarah Orz-... What?”

 

“Orzechowski.” Gerard finished, “A small mouthful, I know. She’s going to be working with you as a field rep.”

 

“Ah…” Frank remembered her from that morning, remembered her giving him the dirtiest of glances, “Awesome.”

 

“A field rep updates the Congressman and District Director on district and local issues and just in general keeps a good name for the congressman in public.” Gerard waved a hand, “And lastly are my legislative counsel. I believe you’ve met Mister Bryar?”

 

“Uh-huh…” Frank eyed the photo of Bob beside the photo of a man called Joe who had a mop of dark curls on his head and wide bright eyes, “Well aware of Bob.”

 

“What do they do?”

 

“They’re your council, a council within a legislature which supervises nonpartisan legislative support staff.” Frank shrugged, “In a nutshell.”

 

“Very nice.” Gerard straightened up, “Good. Now you know everyone here.”

 

“Yeah…” Frank muttered as he stretched his legs out under the desk, “That’s good. Thank you, sir.”

 

“Frank?”

 

“Yes, sir?” Frank asked as he watched Gerard walk around the desk and sit himself across in his own leather chair, leaning forward, fingers steepled in front of his face as Frank ran the ball of his tongue bar over his teeth out of habit.

 

“I have a question.”

 

“Of course, sir.” Frank smiled.

 

“Your… Outfit.” Gerard tilted his head, “Where did you get it?”

 

“Oh…” Frank went bright red, “Well I live with my boyfriend and we sometimes swap clothes.” Frank lied quickly, trying to assuage to the fact that he had, in fact, had zero fucking clothing for normal people.

 

“Oh so it’s Ryan’s suit?” Gerard asked and Frank sighed, nodding, “Well if that’s the case, he seems like a very interesting boy.”

 

“Oh please.” Frank scoffed, grinning as he sat back in his chair, rolling his eyes.

 

“What? Did I say something?” Gerard asked, looking concerned as his brows knitted together.

 

“The most interesting thing about Ryan is his clothes and that he bleaches his asshole. That’s it.” Frank snorted, and then frowned, and then looked down and back up all within seconds, “Did I just… Was that…?”

 

“Out loud?” Gerard asked slowly, “I’m afraid so. But that is pretty interesting.”

 

“Oh God, he’s gonna kill me.” Frank groaned, his ears now tinting beet red as he hid his face in his hands, elbows rested on his knees, “Why the hell did I say that?”

 

“Trying to shift the topic off of your fancy suit, I think.” Gerard replied and Frank sat up.

 

“I didn’t want to say that out loud, nor would I sabotage my boyfriend’s asshole in the process.” He stated simply, watching Gerard chuckle.

 

“How noble of you, Frank.” Gerard smirked as he switched his computer screen back on, “It sounds so painful.”

 

“Oh it is…” Frank commented and then suddenly his brain came to a screeching halt, everything slamming on brakes when he realised his second anal-bleach related mistake. His eyes widened as he and Gerard stared at each other, Frank’s pierced tongue pressed flat against the roof of his mouth.

 

Frank wanted to curl up and die right about now, feeling almost nauseated at himself and his lack of control.

 

“Frank, be a dear and spell check those for me, would you?” Gerard casually asked as he slid a pile of notes towards his new and bright red assistant.

 

“Yes, sir.” Frank sighed out in relief at Gerard’s smooth subject change, grabbing the notes and a pen.

 

“I’d love to meet this boyfriend of yours.” Gerard remarked simply, “Get to know a bit more about him.”

 

“Oh I think you know way more than the average human should.” Frank squinted jokingly at Gerard as he grinned.

 

“Perhaps you’re right, I think Ryan should remain a mystery rather, never peek behind the curtain and what have you.” Gerard waved a hand and Frank let out a small laugh.

 

“Especially if that curtain’s hiding painful bleach and paisley.”

 

“Oh definitely, boy. Definitely.”


	14. Chapter 13: Did You Know the Belt is Proper Leather Too?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of my favourite chapters to write. It was fun and I hope you guys enjoy 
> 
> Any errors, apologies, but we think we got them all :)

The panic had set in and in all honesty, Frank was sick of it. He should have been excited about the fact that he was starting a job that he was genuinely interested in. Or at least it was a job in an area that interested him at least. This should have made him so happy and so raring to do well at his new job, but no. That would have been far too simple for Frank. Far too easy and really, easy was not exactly being his best friend right now.

 

Or maybe it was the fact that Ryan, for the second day in a row, had offered to help him out with his attire. Frank had assumed that because he had got his feet under the desk at work after his first day, he could be a little lax the next day with his clothing. But Ryan had been insistent. This wasn’t the newspaper. This was a proper, practically high profile job and he needed to look his best at all times. Whether he was stuck on his desk all day or whether he was out and about doing whatever Gerard was telling him to do, he had to look smart one hundred percent of the time. Ryan pushed that, pushing it more as he did the same thing with the clothes he gave Frank to wear, pushing them into Frank’s arms not long after he had gotten out of the shower.

 

Yesterday's outfit, in Frank’s memory, seemed like the better choice to wear at work. Frank would rather have worn the same outfit again if he could, because today's outfit was so beyond hideous that Frank hadn’t even been able to walk into his office yet. Thank god Gerard wasn’t in yet. Thank god he had told Derek that he would only be a few minutes as he passed him in the hallway, pointing towards the mens bathroom before he disappeared into it.

 

Even Frank had seen the way Derek looked him up and down briefly as they passed in the hall. The up and down glance, Frank knew that it wasn’t a good thing. It wasn’t like Derek had been checking him out.

 

Well, he had, but more of the checking him out because what in the hell was he wearing? Had he got dressed in the dark this morning?   
  
Frank knew that he hadn’t got dressed in the dark. More dressed in the way that Ryan wanted him to look. His own personal mannequin that he could layer all of his favourite clothes onto. It didn’t matter if it all matched, or at least that was what Frank thought was going through Ryans head when he was handing him his outfit for his second day at his new job.

 

And this was why Frank was in the mens bathroom, refusing to come out just yet because god, he felt like he looked awful. Ryan really had done a number today and Frank had felt like he couldn’t say anything. He had done him a nice thing by giving him clothes to wear, so how could Frank refuse, even when the clothes he had been handed were more than hideous.

 

Frank sighed, running a hand through his hair. He almost refused to look at his own reflection in the large mirror that was sitting above the sinks, but he knew he had to. He knew he was going to have to come to terms with the fact that yes, this was how he was dressed and he was just going to have to deal with it in some way. He just hoped that no one else would say anything to him. He barely knew any of the staff that he worked with. Some of the names he had forgotten because there had just been so many to remember, so of course he didn’t want them taking the piss out of him because of what his boyfriend had dressed him in.

 

Frank had already removed the burnt orange red blazer that Ryan had given him to wear. The sickening colour that went alright with what Ryan wore, but on Frank, it looked like he had just gone and dressed up like some sort of tomato. Frank tossed it over one of the sinks, trying not to look at it because he really did despise what he had been dressed in this morning. Too nice, Frank still wore it and now was just the part of his morning where he looked at himself in the mirror, wondering if there was any way he could tone down what he was wearing.

 

It really wasn’t possible, but Frank was a hopeful man, even if all hope had gone, he was still clinging onto it for dear life.

 

Frank had been ignoring the part of his reflection which meant that he was looking at his clothing, but he finally looked down, grimacing because really, he did wonder if Ryan had done this on purpose. Of course he hadn’t, but with how terrible he looked in the orange waistcoat which really didn’t go with the blazer at all. The paisley shirt and tie combination looked like the kind of thing that only elderly people would wear with it's browns and reds and greens. Or maybe even use as curtains. It really shouldn’t have matched and even Frank knew that none of it went together, making him stand out like he had gone and gotten dressed in the dark this morning. 

 

He really did wonder if Ryan had any fashion sense at all. Frank knew that he had to look smart, but there was no way he even remotely looked smart.

 

Who in the world would wear a tie that matched the shirt they were wearing? Ryan apparently. At least he hadn’t given him some god awful garish tie to wear with the shirt. At least the tie pretty much blended in to a degree. 

 

He still believed that he looked fucking awful though.

 

Frank took a step back from the sink he had been resting his hands on, staring at himself, staring at his clothing, wondering if it was possible for clothes to just combust, or change into something more suitable. This wasn’t some dream though, even though Frank felt like he was living in some sort of nightmare now. Cursed to wear the awful combination that Ryan had given him. Frank unbuttoned the waistcoat, shrugging out of it quickly, dumping it on top of the blazer he had already removed. Did that look better? Frank didn’t know as he examined himself in the mirror again. Could he get away with the bad shirt and tie combination? Could he get away with the fact that the shirt really didn’t go with the brown pants and the brown shoes and the bright orange belt in the middle?

 

Even though the patterns were different, Frank felt as though someone had made him an outfit out of Mama June’s wedding dress, orange accessories to boot. At least he wasn’t wearing camouflage. Although right now Frank wished that he were, maybe no one would see him then, not like this.   
  
Thank god Frank had his own smart shoes. Ryan had offered him a pair this morning, saying that they went so well with the trousers. Frank however thought otherwise, especially seeing as Ryan had been handing him a pair of green shoes. 

 

It wasn’t like Frank had outright refused to wear them. Yes, he had, but he had done it in such a way that Ryan didn’t exactly say anything about it. Frank had been so sure that Ryan would have kicked up a stink about the fact that he was going to be wearing a pair of brown shoes that actually matched the slightly too long trousers. He didn’t though. Frank didn’t exactly give him an opportunity to moan about it either. He just remained silent, giving Ryan a look before he slowly reached out for his own shoes, still not saying a word about the horrid green shoes, even as he laced up his own onto his feet.

 

And the one thing that bothered Frank right now, it wasn’t even the fact that he was wearing three different shades of brown on his bottom half, it was more of the fact that he was actually going to have to go through another work day looking like this. Looking like Ryans plaything because he was all dressed up in his clothes. The fact that Ryan had dressed him, even though he had only done it to help him, it made Frank feel like he wasn’t even an individual in his new workplace. Just an extension of his boyfriend. Frank felt like he was lacking who he was, his own personality castrated thanks to the dire clothes he was being made to wear. It sucked. He hated how this was making him feel and really, there was nothing he could do about it for the time being. Frank didn’t have a choice but to continue to let Ryan dress him. At least until he got paid.

 

Frank was practically counting down the minutes until he got his first paycheck. When he finally had money, he was going to be buying himself some decent clothes to wear in the office. Eventually he would be his own person. Eventually he wouldn’t have to borrow his boyfriends clothes which really didn’t suit him. Eventually he wouldn’t be in a situation like this again, hiding in the bathrooms as he tried to figure out what the fuck he was going to do about what he was wearing.

 

There was nothing he could do unfortunately. Frank was coming to realise that now as he looked at his watch, seeing that he had already been hiding in the bathroom for nearly ten minutes. Hiding what he was wearing away because it was like Ryan had dressed him up, ready for his co workers to torture him and kill him like some weak prey. They were the vultures, ready to mock and taunt him and gossip over the way he was dressed.

 

It had already happened once. Fucking Bob, his words ringing in Franks head all over again. The fact that Bob had said that he dressed like a spaz, it was enough to bother Frank. It was the first impression this guy he worked with had of him and he just knew that that was going to stick. Even once he finally dressed for himself, Bob would remember and Bob would probably keep bringing it up, reminding him of the time, making him feel annoyed about the fact that he had let Ryan dress him like that.

 

Frank was about to figure out if there was anyway he could make what he was wearing look any better, but he was interrupted when the bathroom door was opened. He jumped, feeling his cheeks heating up already because he really wished that he could just hide for today. Not been seen at all. Avoid the embarrassment that he was going to have to put up with thanks to his outfit, but it was too late. Someone had come into the bathroom and that someone just had to go and be Derek.

 

At least he had already seen how Frank was dressed today. It wasn’t like it was someone else discovering what he was wearing, eventually leaving the bathroom before they went to someone else, gossiping about him and his bad taste in clothes. Workplace gossip was cruel and Frank really didn’t want to be the reason why his new co workers started gossiping. 

 

“He’s here,” Was all Derek said to Frank. No kind words of sympathy over his terrible clothes. Though Derek didn’t know that Frank hadn’t dressed himself and right now he wasn’t here to think about what he was wearing. He was just here to pass on a message that he had been given, “He wants you.”   
  
The words that made Frank so nervous. Derek really didn’t need to explain what he had gone and said. Those five words in total let Frank know exactly what had happened while had been hiding away. Gerard had come into the office. He had probably seen that Frank wasn’t at his desk and now he probably wanted to see him about that. Question why he wasn’t working on his second day. Frank wanted to die, not just because he was more than likely about to get in trouble, especially after what Gerard had said to him only yesterday. Arriving on time and what not. But Frank also wanted to die right now because of how he was dressed.

 

Gerard had already commented on his clothes last night. He was surely going to have something to say about what he was wearing today. 

 

Frank nodded at Derek, saying okay because he knew that there was no way he could avoid this right now. Gerard was probably already waiting for him, expecting him any minute now. Derek left the bathroom moments later, letting the door shut behind him while he went back to do his work. Frank however wished that he was never going to have to leave the bathroom today. He just knew that that wasn’t going to be possible. He was going to have to leave the small haven he had claimed for himself. He was going to have to face his boss, bad clothes or no bad clothes. He couldn’t hide forever.

 

Frank grabbed his waistcoat and blazer, deciding not to put them back on. He hoped that he looked better without them. He had considered putting them back on but immediately thought against it. Gerard had already gone and commented about his clothing several times now, there was no way in hell he was going to give Gerard another opportunity to make some remark about what he was wearing. Frank honestly didn’t know if he could take it from him. From any of them. But from his boss, that was going to hit him harder as he stepped out of the bathroom with the awful items of clothing draped over his arm.

 

Frank made a beeline straight for his desk, quickly shoving the jacket and waistcoat out of sight underneath it. He noticed how Derek was watching him with a near smirk on his face. Frank just chose to ignore that. Ignore how Derek was probably still judging him for his clothing right now. That wasn’t important. What was important was the fact that Gerard wanted to see him. No matter how badly this was going to go, Frank knew that he had to be in that office right now and Derek and his annoying fucking smirk could just leave him alone right now.

 

Frank knocked on the door, feeling his stomach somersaulting inside of him thanks to nerves. A second passed until he heard Gerard from inside, telling him that he could enter. Frank swallowed, taking a deep breath, hoping that this wasn’t going to go too badly before he stepped inside of the office. 

 

“You wanted to see me sir?” Frank tried to speak as confidently as possible, not wanting to even show that he was nervous. Worried that he had gone and done something wrong. No of course he wasn’t walking into the office like a bad dog with its tail between its legs. Frank was hoping, really hoping that he wasn’t about to get told off. trying to show that with confidence that really wasn’t coming through for him right now.

 

“I did.” Gerard said quickly, setting down what he had been working on. He looked at Frank and in an instant, Frank broke eye contact with him, looking down at his feet because that stare, even though he was nervous about this impromptu meeting, did something to the inside of him. The churn in his gut which really wasn’t needed right now.

 

Frank stood near the still open door, wondering if he should step forward. It wasn’t like he was keeping near the door so he could make an escape if Gerard started yelling at him. The good thing was Gerard hadn’t asked him to close the door behind him so maybe he wasn’t going to get shouted at at least.

 

“Don’t stand so far away,” Gerard spoke from behind his desk, waving his hand at Frank, signalling for him to come over, “Come closer please.”   
  
Frank really didn’t want to, but his feet moved before his brain even registered that he was making his way towards the desk. he avoided eye contact, even though he swore he could feel Gerards eyes on him, watching him oh so intently.

 

“I called you in for a reason Frank,” Gerard began, leaning forward in his chair, resting his arms on the desk while he examined, scrutinised every detail right now, “But first, why did you come to work dressed so inappropriately?”   
  
Frank frowned. Was this really about his clothes? It honestly wasn’t his fault and Gerard should have known this by now. Frank had explained it to him. 

 

“It was rather cold this morning,” Gerard continued, “I do hope you wore more than that today.”   
  
Frank wanted to breathe a sigh of relief for the time being. Gerard wasn’t telling him off as such. Yes he was questioning if he had in fact dressed appropriately this morning. Maybe Frank hadn’t. His jacket had stayed at home. But not the blazer jacket. No, please say Gerard wasn't going to question about that. He wanted to keep that hidden under his desk until he could go home.

 

“I wore a blazer, sir.” Frank told him, hoping and praying to whatever god was up there that his voice wasn’t going to start doing that cracking thing when he got nervous.

 

“Just a blazer?” Gerard raised an eyebrow at that, “Nothing else?”   
  


Please dear god no, Frank thought.

 

“Well,” Frank carried on, feeling his face getting hotter as his mouth worked before his brain could register if this was really a good thing to bring up to his boss who had already questioned his boyfriend's taste in clothing, “I wore a waistcoat as well…”   
  
Gerard nodded. He held his fingers against his chin for a second, eyes narrowing at Frank, still surveying him and what he was wearing right now before he said five words that made Frank want to just die already.

 

“Can I see them please?”   
  
In Frank’s head, he could picture himself saying  _ no you cannot  _ to Gerard. Like he was imagining some alternate universe where he had the balls to talk to his new employer like that. But this was reality and this now and Frank knew that he would never speak to Gerard like that. It was like he had some unknown power over him, not just because he was his boss. Something else that Frank couldn’t put a finger on. Something that made him nod, even though inside he was dying and wanting to just burn the blazer and waistcoat before Gerard could even see them. Never let anyone else see them, even though he knew that Ryan would be more than furious if Frank let anything happen to his clothes.

 

Frank stepped out of the office briefly. He quickly grabbed at the two items of clothing that he had stuffed under his desk, balling them up because god, even as they were, not even on him, they looked atrocious. He wished that he could just keep balling them up until they didn’t exist anymore, but that wasn’t possible and what really wasn’t helping right now was when he leant from underneath his desk, Derek was looking right at him with a smirk on his face. He looked like he knew something, or at least assumed that Frank was going to be more than embarrassed because he had heard what Gerard had asked him to do. He at least knew that Gerard was going to see what he had turned up to work in this morning. The mish mash of clothes that really didn’t go well together at all.

 

This coming from the guy that had a brother in fashion. Frank knew he was more than screwed, even as he walked back into the office, ignoring the low chuckling laugh that left Derek.

 

Fucking shit, Frank thought as he held the items of clothing close to his chest, arms folded over them so Gerard couldn’t see them properly. 

 

This was proof. Frank had hold of them. Gerard didn’t need to know anymore about them. He could be happy about it and just get on with whatever he wanted to talk to Frank about right now.

 

Gerard watched Frank for a second, his brow furrowed when he was the way he was holding the supposed jacket and waistcoat against his chest, “Is that them?”   
  
Frank nodded, not even breathing a word. He was far too embarrassed right now to even consider giving Gerard anything more than the small nod he had already given him.

 

“Can I see them?” Gerard asked, making Frank wish that this really wasn’t happnening to him right now.

 

He held them out gingerly, stepping towards Gerard, assuming that he just wanted to look them over.

 

How wrong was Frank though.

 

“I meant…” Gerard sighed when Frank didn’t understand what he had asked him to do, “Can I see them on you.”

 

In his head, Frank said no. In reality, he really wanted to protest. Frank couldn’t think of anything worse that he had been put through. This was by far the worst thing that he had ever had to do. Show just how awful he looked.  Derek must have said something to Gerard when he got in. Frank knew it because there was no way in hell Gerard would have known what he was wearing today. He had been hiding in the bathroom when he got in so this had to be an inside job. Derek had to have told him and right now, Frank wished that Derek wasn’t this kind of guy. The one that grassed him up to his boss about his dire outfit which still had Derek snickering in their office. Frank could hear him. Frank fucking hated him right now as he still held the blazer and waistcoat out in front of him, not wanting to move a muscle because that meant putting them on.

 

“But sir-”   
  
“No buts. Come on boy, I don’t have all day.”

 

Frank internally groaned, hating what Gerard was making him do. Hated what Ryan was putting him through. He had only been helpful this morning when he handed more of his clothes to Frank, but right now, Frank felt so ashamed, almost humiliated right now as he took the waistcoat, putting it on, straightening it up on his back before he did the buttons up slowly.

 

Frank closed his eyes when he swore he could see a look of disapproval on Gerard's face. He couldn’t bear it, but apparently he had to do this. This had to be the reason why Gerard had called him in. He had talked about his outfits before. Maybe it was like testing the water. Gerard had been making these comments to see if Frank would change how he dressed for work. Maybe it had been the plan all along after he made the first remark about the plaid Frank wore yesterday. Only yesterday. Was Gerard really trying to nip this in the bud that quickly? He really disliked the clothes so much that he was putting Frank through this, what felt like torture as he unrolled the blazer and pushed his arms through the sleeves, pulling the awful thing onto himself.

 

The moment Frank was dressed back the way Ryan had approved of him this morning, he suddenly felt far too on display. Like he was stood naked in front of Gerard. So uncomfortable, even though he was fully clothed and wrapping his arms across his chest, trying to protect himself in anyway. Shield the awful outfit so Gerard couldn’t see it, judge it as Frank kept his eyes closed. He really didn’t want to see how his boss was looking at him, probably wondering what in the world Ryan thought he was doing when he gave Frank these clothes to wear this morning.

 

“Don’t hide, boy,” Gerard spoke, breaking the silence which made Frank’s eyes open, looking at him, seeing the way he was waving a hand towards him, “Hands behind your back. I want to see you.”

 

No, I’m good, Frank thought, but after a moment of fighting with his head and Gerards order, he moved his arms, doing exactly as he had been instructed. He looked down at his feet, the burning embarrassment in him taking over while Gerard examined, scrutinised, his eyes looking Frank up and down while he tried to find something to say over the way his new assistant was dressed.

 

There was no words. Frank heard nothing from Gerard for a moment while he tried to control his thumping heart. Hearing only that in his ears, Frank waited, dying inside because Gerard was looking him all over, Frank had noticed that when he dared to glance up for a second, wondering why Gerard was being so quiet. 

 

The look on Gerard’s face was unreadable. He watched Frank over steepled fingers, mouth opening for a second before he closed it again. He leant back in his chair, was he thinking? Was anything going through his head right now. Frank couldn’t tell and he really wished that he could figure out what was going on inside his head right now.

 

Finally he moved. He twisted in his chair, getting up to walk around the desk. Frank swallowed when Gerard started to make his way towards him, head down, not looking as his shoes resonated on the hardwood floor. He assumed that Gerard was coming over to him for a closer inspection, but he frowned when he didn’t stop. Gerard walked passed him, going towards the office door. Frowning, Frank glanced over his shoulder, wondering what exactly he was doing when he came to a stop by the open door. 

 

Gerard turned to look at Frank, expectant, but Frank didn’t know what he was expected to do.

 

“Well? Come on, pup. This is where you are meant to follow me.” Gerard spoke, making Frank jump into action, feet finally ungluing from the floor so he could walk behind him.

 

The pair walked through the office. Frank caught a glance of Derek watching the two of them. He was still smirking and Frank refrained from scowling at him. Annoyed that he was finding it funny. but Frank just ignored him, blocked him out as he continued to walk behind Gerard, following him out of their office and out of the office entirely.

 

“Where are we going?” Frank asked curiously, not knowing what was going on right now as the two of them stepped outside. He saw the car parked up, the one that Gerard was walking towards as Frank took a moment. God knows what moment, he had no idea what was going on right now. Gerard hadn’t said anything to him. Hadn’t even answered his question. Frank moved when he saw Gerard watching him again, waiting for him by his car, the black Mercedes with tinted windows. Fucking fancy, Frank thought to himself as he made his way towards Gerard, watching him open the back passenger door, signalling for him to get in.

 

Frank climbed in, waiting patiently when Gerard shut the door, walked around the back of the car before getting in on the other side. Frank had noticed the driver in front of him but had yet to say anything, being so confused, he found it easier just to keep his mouth shut until he knew what in the world was going on right now.

 

“Good morning sir,” The driver finally spoke, looking over his shoulder at Gerard. Clipping up his seat belt, he said good morning back before the driver spoke again, “Where to?”

 

“Lentos and Marcos, thank you.” Gerard said quickly. 

 

Frank still remained silent next to Gerard, still not knowing what was going on. He hoped that he would have gotten an idea from where Gerard had told the driver to take them. But nothing. He still had no idea what was going on, even as Gerard cleared his throat and turned his attention onto him.

 

“Frank, we need to address this situation,” Gerard said cooly. His tone unreadable, like his expression still was right now. Frank couldn’t figure out if he was in trouble or not. If he was in trouble then Gerard was really going out of his way to do this to him, “This cannot continue if you want to keep working for me.”   
  
Two days in and already was his job on the line? Frank wondered if it had anything to do with the fact that Gerard had taken it upon himself to inspect him. Was this part of the job? Daily inspections or something that Frank had never experienced before. Fine, he was wearing a bad choice of clothes, but it wasn’t his choice. He had nothing else for the time being and there was no way in hell he was going to get in trouble over the fact that he was only doing what he could to get by.

 

“Where are we going?” Frank asked again, repeating his question, momentarily ignoring what Gerard had said because he wanted to know what was going on. He wanted in. There was no way Gerard could keep him in the dark over this, especially if he had done something wrong. This situation that couldn’t continue. Frank wanted to know what he meant by that.

 

Gerard did not look pleased with Frank’s interruption. He sighed, running a hand through his hair before he spoke, “All in good time boy.”

 

“I just don’t understand why you did what you did in the office…” Frank began, hoping that Gerard would give him some answers, “And now we are in your car being driven somewhere I’ve never heard of.”   
  
“Clearly.” Gerard chuckled to himself, glancing over Frank’s outfit once more.

 

“Am I in trouble or something?” Frank asked nervously, getting to the point now because it was obvious that Gerard wasn’t getting anywhere near it yet.

 

“You’re not in trouble,” Gerard reassured Frank, making him relax a little, “But we do need to do something about your attire.”   
  
“My…”   
  
“Your clothes boy,” Gerard looked him up and down again as he spoke, the one thing that he kept doing which was beginning to get to Frank now, “Well, they’re not exactly…”

 

“Exactly what sir?” Frank asked when Gerard stopped mid sentence.

 

“I don’t have words,” He admitted, shaking his head, “You actually had me speechless in my office.”   
  
Frank wished that that was a compliment, like he had done some astounding work that had Gerard beyond impressed with him. But given the fact that they were in a car and Gerard kept practically looking down his nose at the red blazer, Frank knew that what he had said had not been good and what was going to happen when they got to wherever they were going, that wasn’t going to be good either.

 

“I know they’re bad.” Frank sighed, looking away from Gerard, trying to hide how he was embarrassed.

 

“I think bad is an understatement,” Gerard snorted, “No offence to your boyfriend or his taste in clothes...though I do wonder what went through his head when he dressed you this morning.”   
  
“He meant well.”   
  
“He clearly didn’t dress you well,” Gerard fired back quickly, making Frank close his eyes. Pretend that he wasn't here right now, having his new boss talking to him like this, “Look at me.”   
  
No, Frank thought as he continued to look out of the window, watching the scenery go by as he tried to figure out where they were.

 

“I said look at me boy,” Gerard said more firmly. The tone in his voice changed. It was like he was on the verge of being cross at him now. Disobeying. He didn’t like that, clearly. Frank did look round at him then, but not because he knew he had to. Something about the way Gerard spoke to him, it sent a chill down his spine, making him react and move like he was supposed to, “You don’t ignore me, do you?”

 

“No sir.” Frank mumbled, wanting to avert his eyes from Gerard’s own. He didn’t though because even he could tell when he was at the point of being told off. That would not have been a good thing to happen on his second day in when Gerard had already told him that he wasn’t in trouble.

 

“You need to understand,” Gerard began again, turning to look forward again which gave Frank a break from the eye contact. Relaxing, Frank felt himself untense against the seat, “In this field, you need to be smart at all times. Whether you are out and about or in the office. People won’t take you seriously if you turn up wearing whatever you want.”   
  
“You think that I wanted to wear this?” Frank snorted, pulling the paisley tie free from inside of his waistcoat, “I know how bad I look in this.”

 

Gerard shook his head, “Then why did you let Ryan dress you?”

 

Frank mumbled his answer out, ashamed to admit to Gerard that he had started his new job completely unprepared. That wasn’t his fault though. He thought he owned a suit. He knew he had at one point, it was just really bad timing for him to realise that he didn’t have it anymore on the day that he actually needed it.

 

“Speak up-”   
  
“I said I didn’t have a choice,” Frank cut him off, immediately feeling bad for doing so. he swallowed. Gerard waved a hand at him. Clearly what he wanted to say was coming out now. Gerard could finally hear him so he ignored the interruption, this time at least, “I...I don’t own a suit…”   
  


“Why not?” Gerard frowned.

 

“I thought I did. I know I used to but, I didn’t realise and...Ryan helped me out.” Frank explained as the car turned down a road.

 

“And you let him do this to you? Put you through this because clearly you know that the clothes are bad. I know that they are atrocious.”   
  
“I had no choice.” Frank sighed.

 

“Well, we will need to address this situation then won’t we boy?” Gerard said. Frank nodded at him, looking over at him, feeling jealous because at least he was dressed smartly in his dark blue suit with a white shirt and black tie. He wasn’t the one under fire because his boyfriend had gone and dressed him up like it was a game. Hell, his wife probably had excellent fashion sense so even if Gerard did allow her to dress him, he would still look smart no matter what. Not look like some office clown that everyone else could take the piss out of. 

 

“Are you going to tell me where we are going?” Frank asked again, hoping that this time Gerard would say something. This was clearly about his clothes so what in the world was driving off to somewhere going to do to clear up this supposed situation.

 

“You’ll see soon boy,” Gerard told him briefly, changing the subject swiftly as he turned to look at Frank, “Now tell me, I’m curious…”

 

“About what sir?”   
  
“What made you decide that you were going to take my job offer?”   
  
That question Frank did not expect at all. Curiosity was all well and good, but coming out with a curveball like that when Frank honestly didn’t know if he had his feet at least part way under the table at work yet, he didn’t know what to say. Especially when he didn’t know if Gerard would be able to deal with the fact that the only reason Frank took the job was because he lost his job at the paper the very same day.

 

Frank was grateful for the opportunity that he had been given, he really was. He just didn’t know if telling the truth to Gerard was a good idea. Would he really be impressed with him if he found out that the only reason Frank took the job was because he had no other choice?

 

“You gave me the opportunity,” Frank smiled at him, “How could I turn it down?”

 

“But you told me that you already had another job, your loyalty to, who did you work for again?”

 

“Ryan’s family,” Frank nodded, wincing a little so Gerard wouldn’t notice while he tiptoed around the subject, “I know, but they understood.”   
  
“That was very gracious of them,” Gerard noted while Frank internally snorted. As gracious as  brick. Said brick that had been him getting fired because of Gerard’s opportunity, “I hope that they can see that what talent you have won’t be wasted here.”   
  
“Yeah,” Frank nodded, “I’m sure they can…”

 

The car came to a stop moments later. Frank immediately went to look out of the window, trying to figure out where they were. They were in a parking lot, that was easy to see. A few shops lined one side of the lot and that just made Frank more confused as Gerard chirped up, unfastening his seat belt, “We are here.”   
  
“Where is here?” Frank questioned. Gerard had to say something now. They were apparently at their destination so why couldn’t he just come out with what they were doing here.

 

“Follow me boy and you will see,” Gerard told him before turning to the driver, “We shouldn’t be too long. An hour or so.”   
  
“Not a problem sir,” The driver nodded, “I’ll wait here for you.”

 

“Come on,” Gerard instructed Frank as he opened his car door, “We don’t have all day.”   
  
Frank got out of the car, squinting in the sunlight while he tried to figure out where he was. Definitely still local, they hadn’t been driving for long, but he didn’t know the area too well. They were somewhere and Frank just wanted to know what was going on, following behind Gerard as he walked towards a shop.

 

A shop that Frank looked at and realised what was going on.

 

“Y- You’re taking me to a tailors?” Frank stuttered out as they got in front of the shop that was called Lentos and Marcos. The name that Gerard had told the driver. Frank never would have guessed and now he felt nervous to a degree. Not just because Gerard had brought him here, but because if Gerard was expecting him to buy a suit to wear today then there was no way Frank was going to be able to pay for it.

 

“I said that we needed to address the situation and we are,” Gerard spoke while he opened the door of the shopping, waving a hand for Frank to enter. He nodded, swallowing, feeling nervous as he stepped into the shop, taken aback not only by the size of the place but the class that practically dripped from the walls. There was no way in hell that Frank would ever be able to afford a suit from a place like this, “I brought you to my tailor.”

 

“This is your tailors?” Frank asked, worrying because he knew he did not have the same salary as Gerard. If he could afford high quality suits then there was no way that Frank would be able to.

 

“Well I'm not going to take you to some local discount shop,” Gerard spoke, “Or wherever Ryan buys his interesting clothes from.”

 

Frank sighed at that comment, knowing that he didn't have a comeback for that. What was he supposed to do? Take sides with Ryan and his dress sense right now? Probably yes, but the fact that it was his boss who had made the comment, Frank didn't have a leg to stand on, even if he did choose to fire something back, which he didn't. 

 

“Ah, good morning Congressman,” A salesman said who came from out the back of the shop, smiling warmly at him as he approached. A man older than them both with grey hair and a tape measure around his neck. They shook hands, exchanging brief conversation before the salesman got straight to the point, “What can I do for you today? Need an adjustment? New suit? I have something that I know would definitely suit you.”

 

“Nothing for me today Stephen,” Gerard told him quickly, looking at Frank, “My new assistant here, Frank, he needs a suit for work.”

 

“I can see,” Stephen said, giving Frank the same up and down look that Gerard had done. He was so judging his clothes right now, probably turning his nose at the orange, brown and paisley combination that he was wearing before he smiled, “So a fitting?”

 

“Definitely.” Gerard nodded, knowing full well that the trouser length Frank had on was not meant for him. Clearly Ryan was taller, he got that just from the bunched up fabric around Frank's shoes. 

 

“I may have a couple of suits out the back that may be close to his size,” He said after giving Frank one more look over, “But I will measure first.”

 

“Sir,” Frank butted in, realising that this was spiralling out of control for him. He couldn't be fitted for suits if he was expected to buy them afterwards. Frank just knew that he couldn't say that he couldn't afford them. That would have been rude to the salesman and a complete waste of Gerard’s time. He had totally back out of this in the politest way possible, “You don't have to do this for me.”

 

“If you're going to turn up for work dressed up like someone who regularly gets dressed in the dark then I feel obliged to do this for you.”

 

“But sir-”

 

“I won't hear another word,” Gerard cut him off when the salesman had walked away to get what he needed for the fitting, “The right thing to do is accept an offer when someone gives it to you boy. You don't make a person look like a fool.”

 

“I’m,” Frank stammered when Gerard gave him that look again. The one that made his stomach churn and feel like he was about to be scolded like a bad dog. Why did that make his stomach do the weird thing that he didn't entirely hate. Did Gerard really have such an affect on him this quickly into his new job, “I'm sorry sir.”

 

“Good boy.” Gerard nodded at him, smiling when the salesman reappeared.

 

“If you would like to come this way Frank,” Stephen pointed, directing to an open planned room to the side of the main shop. Frank nodded and Gerard followed closely behind, walking passed a rack of suits that Frank knew probably had extortionate price tags on, “Gerard, can I get you a coffee while you wait?”

 

“That would be nice,” Gerard said as he joined Frank, taking a seat in a chair that was in the corner of the room, “White, two sugars, thank you.”

 

That gave Frank a moment to realise that Gerard was actually going to be present while he had his suit fitted. He didn’t understand why Gerard was choosing to sit through his fitting. Okay, Frank knew that he had never had a suit fitting before, but his boss didn’t know that. He wasn't going to admit that to him, but he still did wonder why Gerard had chosen to sit through this.

 

“You’re going to watch.” Frank asked, watching Gerard over his shoulder from where he had been told to stand, on the small wooden stool near a stretch of mirrors on the other side of the room.

 

“I want to make sure he does a good job. Make sure he treats you right.” Gerard told him, crossing one leg over the other while he looked at him.

 

“If he’s your tailor then I’m sure he will do a good job.” Frank chuckled.

 

“He’s done a good job for myself yes. But he’s never fitted you before so I want to make sure.”   
  
“Of what?”   
  
“What I said,” Gerard sighed, “You must keep up with me boy.”   
  
Frank apologised quickly before Stephen reappeared with a mug of coffee for Gerard. He thanked him, sipping on the drink. Frank watched in the mirror as Stephen came back over to him with a tape measure in hand, asking him to remove his blazer.

 

All the while Frank could feel eyes on him, watching him. He looked in the mirror and could see Gerard watching as Stephen instructed him to not move while he measured his chest, making light work of the task, going on to measure across his shoulders. All the while Gerard watched intently, making Frank feel like he was on display again.

 

The twinge in his stomach again. What was Gerard doing to him?

 

“Are you looking for anything in particular?” Stephen asked. Frank had assumed that he was talking to him about what suit he wanted. Yes he had said that he might have had some out the back that could have fitted him, but what if it wasn’t what Frank wanted. What if it wasn’t going to be smart enough for work?

 

Frank went to answer the question, mouth open to speak. But he was cut off by the answer that came from behind him. Gerards response. Taking charge right now as Frank glanced over his shoulder at him.

 

“I take it anything black, Frank?”   
  
“Yeah,” Frank nodded, agreeing with Gerard who was still looking at him in the mirror, drinking his coffee, “Black is fine.”

 

“What is your usual leg length?” Stephen asked when he went to measure his inseam, noticing just how bunched up around the shoes his pants were.

 

Frank winced at that. He knew that he was asking because of the fact that Ryan was taller so of course his pants were going to be too long for him. Frank just had no idea and didn’t entirely know what to say.

 

“I haven’t exactly been measured like this before.” Frank admitted with a blush.

 

“You’ve never had a suit fitted before?” Stephen questioned curiously before going ahead and finishing off measuring Franks inseam, “No wonder Gerard brought you here…”

 

“I do need him smart.” Gerard spoke up from behind both of them, looking away from his phone at the two of them.

 

“He will be. You don’t need to worry there,” Stephen reassured Gerard with a smile, “I do have a couple of suits that would fit him. Minor adjustments. Would need to take the leg up a fraction. Haven’t seen a leg length like this for a while.”

 

“I know I’m short.” Frank muttered once Stephen had told him that he could get down from the stool.

 

“There is nothing wrong with your height, boy,” Gerard piped up, noticing the pout on Franks face over what Stephen had said before he went pink over what he was now saying, “If anything, its endearing.”

 

Frank smiled weakly at that, still blushing but feeling a little better.

 

“I won’t be long,” Stephen said, taking the measurements with him, “I’ll quickly make the adjustments and then you can try a suit on, yes?”   
  
“Yeah,” Frank nodded, “Thanks.”

 

Waiting in near silence while Gerard worked from his phone, Frank took it upon himself to wander around the shop. At one point he could hear Gerard talking on the phone, asking if everything was okay and that he would be back soon. Frank assumed that he was checking up on the office, calling Derek to make sure that everything was okay. Frank ignored that once he assumed that Derek was on the phone. He hadn’t exactly been the nicest of co workers that Frank had ever worked with, so he chose to not think or care about it while he continued to browse, coming up to a rack of suits that looked quite nice. Gerard would probably approve of these ones, that was if Frank could afford it.

 

Not that he could. Frank practically gasped when he saw the price tag on one of the black Issey Miyaki suits. Nearly three thousand dollars. He knew that he would never be able to afford a suit like that. That was far too expensive for a suit.

 

And Frank was even worrying about how the hell he was going to be able to afford this. There was apparently two suits that were going to fit him. What if Gerard had brought him here on the premise that he was going to have to buy these suits. If he did then Ryan was going to kill him for spending far too much money on so few items of clothing. But if he refused to buy them when Gerard told him too then he was going to get in trouble with him.

 

If he wanted to continue working for Gerard then the situation had to be sorted out. he remembered that and now the situation was being sorted out. Sorted out under duress. Frank had no idea what he was going to do or even say to Gerard once these suits were brought out to him, all ready to go and ready to be paid for.

 

Which eventually happened. Soon enough, Stephen came out with a suit for Frank. Black pinstripe suit jacket and simple black slacks. Frank felt nervous because he honestly didn’t know what kind of price tag would be on this suit. One that had been altered for him too. Would that end up costing more? He had no idea since he had never been put through this kind of thing before.

 

“Do you want to try it on now or shall I just ring it up?” Stephen asked, catching both Gerard and Franks attention while he showed them both the suit. 

 

It was nice, Frank had to admit. He wouldn’t look like a stuck out sore thumb at work anymore, but just, money. That was the only problem.

 

“Why don’t you try it on first boy?” Gerard asked Frank, “Want to make sure it fits you.”   
  
“Okay.” Frank nodded, taking the suit from Stephen before slipped off his waistcoat. He put on the blazer, doing up the buttons while he looked at himself in the mirror.

 

“You do look rather dapper.” Gerard said from behind Frank, watching him in the mirror again.

 

Frank nodded again, feeling rather smug as he smoothed the blazer down against himself. He really did, he just felt a dampener on his mood because there was no way in hell he was going to be able to afford the suit.

 

“Would you like to try on the pants?” Stephen asked, but Gerard stood up, walking towards the two of them, shaking his head.

 

“That won’t be necessary, we are on a tight schedule. If they don’t fit properly then we can always bring them back in for further adjustments,” Gerard said, coming up to Frank, smoothing down the lapels which made Franks heart beat harder in his chest because of the closeness and the contact, “Did you say there was another suit that might fit?”   
  
“There is,” Stephen smiled, “Won’t need any adjustments. Like it was made for you Frank.”

 

Frank winced, not another one. 

 

“We’ll take both then.” Gerard decided.

 

“Will you need anything else with it?”   
  
“Some shirts, white and black ones. Some ties… a belt too. And plain socks, if memory serves.” Gerard began to list, the last item made Frank want to die inside, remembering exactly why Gerard had mentioned them, “Do you have any that he can wear out now?”   
  
“Of course,” Stephen spoke, “How about some shoes to match too?”

 

Frank felt like he had lost control of the situation right now. Gerard was talking like he was shopping for himself and when Frank wanted to cut in, saying that this really wasn’t necessary, he couldn’t because Stephen was already asking him yet another question, what shoe size he took.

 

“Nine.” He said, internally flapping because he knew he had to stop this all before he had to pay for this. He couldn’t, there was no way he was going to be able to and he really didn’t want to waste Gerard’s time and make him look like a fool for doing this.

 

“Frank, why don’t you go and get changed into the rest the outfit,” Gerard waved a hand towards the changing rooms, “I’ll sort this all out.”

 

Sort this out, Frank repeated the words in his head with a frown on his face. He had no idea what was going on now. No idea at least until he saw Gerard pulling his wallet out of his pocket. Then it hit frank what was going on. He wasn’t the one paying for these suits.

 

“Sir,” Frank stuttered out, “You don’t have to do this.”   
  
“Do what?” Gerard frowned, “I am sorting out the situation.”   
  
“By buying me suits?” Frank stammered, sliding the blazer off before he got handed a shirt and a black tie, “Sir, honestly, you really don’t have to do this.”   
  
“I insist,” Gerard persisted, waving a hand, “I need you looking sharp at all times. I can’t have you looking scruffy.”

 

“But sir-”   
  


“Stop,” Gerard raised his voice, make Frank shrink where he was standing, looking down at his feet, “When someone offers to do something highly generous for you, which will help you keep your job, you take it. Do you understand boy?”   
  
Frank only nodded, feeling like if he spoke he was going to get told off more.

 

“Sorry?”

 

Or get more in trouble for not talking.

 

“Yes sir,” Frank said, briefly making eye contact with Gerard before he looked down at the tie he was gripping tightly in his hand, “Thank you sir.”   
  
“Now, go get changed,” Gerard instructed, “We will be heading back to the office after this. I need you ready to get back to work.”   
  
“Yes sir.” Frank said, turning on his feet to go and change.

 

\---

 

Back in the office, Frank felt so much better about himself. There had been a small part of him that worried because they had been gone for so long. It had been over an hour by the time Gerard’s car pulled back up in front of the office. He wondered if anything had been said or talked about. Their whole disappearing for so long without Gerard saying anything to anyone about where they were going, it could have looked suspicious or just plain odd.

 

Frank wasn’t worried too much though. Yes he had worried when Gerard had handed over his card in the tailors, forking out far too much money for Frank and his appearance. Who just goes out and buys their assistant two brand new suits?   
  
Apparently Gerard did and Frank hadn’t been able to do anything about it, unless he wanted to be told off, told he was ungrateful.

 

Which he wasn’t. He was very grateful because now he didn’t have to worry about looking like an idiot and having his new co workers talking about him and his bad dress sense.

 

That wasn’t his fault. It was Ryan's fault, but he couldn’t blame Ryan because he had at least been helpful. At least he had given Frank clothes to wear, even if they did look worse than horrible on him.

 

That didn’t matter now though as what Frank had been wearing was now currently contained in a suit bag. Hidden out of view as he waltzed back into the office with Gerard, wearing one of the suits that Gerard had actually bought him. The other he was carrying in another suit bag, slung over his shoulder while he had a smile on his face.

 

Finally he looked smart. Finally people weren’t going to mock him behind his back over his boyfriends clothes. Okay, they were probably going to talk about how Gerard disappeared off with him and then an hour later he comes back with his boss, dressed smartly, appropriately for the job.

 

They could talk all they liked. Frank thought he looked fucking awesome in his brand new suit, following behind Gerard as he walked into his office.

 

The first person to see Frank in his new suit was Derek. He heard the two of them coming back in, glancing over his shoulder briefly to see them finally. They had been gone so long. He even did a double take when he saw Frank, barely recognising him for a split second because the red blazer had gone and the orange waistcoat had gone and he actually looked like he was a part of the office now. Not some newbie who didn’t have a clue what they were doing.

 

Frank knew what he was doing as he walked over to his desk, smiling at Derek. The kind of smug smile that Derek didn’t like because what the hell had gone on with the two of them? They both turn up over an hour later, Frank’s finally dressed appropriately and Gerard no longer looked bothered. Had he really gone out and made Frank buy new suits? Derek didn’t know and he really didn’t know the truth as Frank hung up the two suit bags before sitting down in his chair.

 

“Before you get too comfortable,” Gerard piped up from the doorway of his office, making Frank swivel round in his chair to look at him, “I need you to sort out some filing for me.”   
  
“Okay sir,” Frank nodded, getting up to follow Gerard into his office. He waited whilst Gerard went through everything on his desk, stacking up what he wanted Frank to put away. While he was doing that, Frank took it upon himself to admire the suit he was wearing. It was just so fancy. It was even nicer than the one he used to own before. The one that disappeared and lead to Ryan having to dress him in plaid and all things awful, “Can I just say...I am grateful for you doing this for me.”

 

“I’m glad that you appreciate it,” Gerard spoke as he sat down in his chair, going through one of his drawers in his desk.

 

Frank still waited, starting to fiddle around with the blazer of his suit. He unbuttoned it, scoping out the inside because wow was it soft on the inside. The whole thing was unbelievably comfortable, a perfect fit and Frank stopped for a second as wonder took over, “Hey, you know this has pockets on the inside?”   
  
Gerard stopped what he was doing, looking up at Frank. He saw the look on his face, like a small child who had just been given a new toy. He smiled, chuckling softly before he answered, “Yes, I did Frank.”

 

His old suit didn’t have pockets on the inside. They had been sewn up because it was cheap. The knock off suit which really was nothing against this new one which Frank didn’t even want to consider how much it had set Gerard back by.

 

Probably not much to him, but to Frank, a hell of a lot.

 

“Did you know the shirt is proper cotton?” Frank added, running his hand over his shirt, smiling because he swore that he had never owned any item of clothing that was this high quality before.

 

“I did indeed.” Gerard answered him going back to looking through his drawers for what he needed filing.

 

“DId you know the belt is proper leather too?”   
  
“I should sure hope so, boy,” Gerard smiled again at him after he found what he was looking for, straightening it up with a few taps on his desk before he held it out for Frank, snapping him out of his little moment of wonder over his new suit, “Now I need these filed away.”   
  
“Of course,” Frank buttoned his blazer back up before taking the papers that Gerard was holding out for him.

 

“Also,” Gerard carried on, making Frank spin on his feet to face him again, “Are you free later?”   
  
“Why?” Frank asked, knowing full well what day it was and knowing full well that if Gerard was going to ask him to do overtime tonight then he was going to have to decline.

 

It was Tuesday. Date night was tonight. Ryan probably wouldn’t be impressed if Frank ditched him for spending time working late.

 

Not that Frank minded if it meant that he got to spend more time with Gerard.

 

“Well I need you to make up for the time we spent out sorting out your suits,” Gerard explained, “I will be working later too, it’s only fair.”   
  
“Sir…” Frank stammered out, holding onto the papers tighter while he tried to figure out how he was going to tell him that he couldn’t do it, “I can’t. It’s Tuesday so I can’t work later.”   
  
“Oh?” Gerard frowned curiously, not understanding why he couldn’t work later on today of all days, “And why is that?”   
  
“You see,” Frank started, “Tuesday night is basically date night for Ryan and I. We go out and we just, well, you know what going out on dates is like. Dinner and stuff.”

 

Stuff that Frank didn’t entirely want to discuss with his boss who probably had a better sex life than him.   
  
“Every Tuesday?” Gerard queried, wondering why this seemed to be so regimented, “And only Tuesday?”

 

Frank nodded weakly, realising how pathetic his love life was if even his boss found it odd that they only went out as a couple once a week, every week.

 

And he was torn. Frank could tell that Gerard clearly bothered about the fact that he had said no to him. He wanted to help Gerard because he was so new to the job and he wanted to prove that he wasn’t disposable, but at the same time he didn’t want to upset Ryan by ruining their routine at such short notice. He could just imagine how Ryan would be if he called him and told him that he wasn’t going to be coming home until god knows when.

 

He had already done overtime the night before. Ryan would probably be annoyed if Frank did overtime for the second night in a row. But Gerard. He really did want to prove his worth to Gerard.

 

“Well,” Frank started, catching Gerard’s attention, but not making the disappointed look fall from his face, “Maybe I can stay for a bit…”   
  
“A bit?” Gerard raised an eyebrow, still annoyed over the fact that Frank had said no to him, he just tried to hide it.

 

“I’ll stay later tomorrow night. I promise sir.” Frank said, hoping to appease Gerard. He felt so guilty about saying no to him that he offered a solution. If he couldn’t do tonight, which he really couldn’t, even though he would stay for a small amount of time, then he would definitely stay behind tomorrow night.

 

“Well I guess I can agree to that.” Gerard nodded, still annoyed about the fact that Frank was choosing Ryan over him, but he cleared his throat, smiling at him as to not show how bothered he was by his reluctance to help out when he actually needed him.

 

Gerard had done him a big favour. The least Frank could have done was return it. Not choosing to run off with lover boy because they had a thing that they did like clockwork every week.

 

“I’ll get these filed away sir.” Frank spoke, hoping that Gerard wasn’t too annoyed at him. It wasn’t Franks fault that Ryan was so used to routine. If only Gerard could understand then it would have been so easier. Frank wouldn’t have felt so bad for saying no to him as he finally left the office, leaving Gerard to mull over and wonder where Frank’s priorities really lay.

 


	15. Chapter 14: You Can Kiss My Ass Instead, George.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another awesome chapter from my co writer. This one is just, again, another favourite of mine.
> 
> Any errors, apologies, but we think we got them all :)

“Hi dear.” Was Gerard’s greeting that caught Frank off guard and made him turn in his chair to the door. He saw Gerard at the door, opening it for the woman Frank recognised as Lindsey. And she was way more attractive in person than Frank had realised. She was slender but not at all skinny, her blonde hair up in a clip, her red lips perfect. And she had tattoos, something Frank had not at all expected.

 

He looked at her three-quarter sleeve with envy, the most of it on show, whatever else was hidden under a bright yellow blouse that was was tucked into a very tight black leather skirt. Frank raised an eyebrow as they kissed chastely and Gerard took her bags for her.

 

“Frank.” Gerard gave a head nod and Frank launched from his chair, coming to a stop in front of them, taking the bags from Gerard’s hands, their fingers brushing had gooseflesh climb up Frank’s arms.

 

“Is this him?” Lindsey smiled brightly at Frank, making him automatically smile back like it were contagious.

 

“Hi.” Frank readjusted the bags and held out his hand, “Frank Iero.”

 

“It’s a pleasure, sweetie” She shook his hand, “I hope my husband hasn’t been giving you a hard time.”

 

“No more than necessary.” Gerard interjected with a small wink in Frank’s direction, making him recount back to this morning.

 

“I’ll just…” Frank gestured with the bags before he turned and walked towards where he knew her office to be, opening the door with his elbow. He set the bags down and looked around at the black glass desk and the beige leather desk chair, the white cabinets built into the wall behind it all with a black shelf decked into the middle. Frank noted the photos of Gerard and her together and realised that there were none in his office, obviously a conscious choice. He looked at the weird long black bamboo separation in the back left corner before he shook himself out of his reverie.

 

He turned to see Lindsey smiling at him, “Like it?”

 

“I- Yes, ma’am.” Frank nodded, “Very nice.”

 

“Good.” She smiled, affectionately putting her finger under his chin for a moment, “Now run along, I have work to do.” She smiled before taking him by the shoulders and firmly steering him out of her office.

 

He turned to look as the door was closed in his face and he sucked in a breath, turning again to see Derek standing there, making him jump, “Jesus.”

 

“Close enough.” Derek shrugged, “She seems to like you.”

 

“You think so?’ Frank asked awkwardly as he walked towards their office, walking in without waiting for a reply from Derek.

 

And then he remembered what he had to do, what he’d been dreading. He pulled out his phone, unlocking it before he dialled the number he knew by heart,

 

“Hello?” 

 

“Ry, babe, it’s me…” Frank bit nervously on his thumbnail as Ryan answered his phone call, the phone call Frank had been dreading, the phone call Frank had hoped Ryan would be too busy to answer.

 

“Oh hi, sweetheart.” Ryan could almost be heard smiling over the line, “This is unusual, isn’t it?”

 

“Yeah…” Frank trailed off.

 

“Oh no, what now?” Ryan’s happy demeanour seemed to ebb lightly and Frank could tell he was pursing his lips like he did when he anticipated bad news.

 

“Well I may be a little late tonight.”

 

“Frank, it- it’s Tuesday.” Ryan sounded outraged, horrified and Frank couldn’t help but want to giggle as he imagined Ryan getting all worked up at his desk surrounded by confused coworkers and books and numbers.

 

“I know, babe. But he- si- Gerard,” Frank jumped at his almost mishap, “Gerard wants me to work a bit late tonight.”

 

“Again?” Ryan whined, “What could you possibly have to do that’s more important than our time together, Frank?”

 

“Whatever he needs me to do really.” Frank shrugged as he looked at where Gerard’s office was, looking at the open door to his right and at Derek’s empty desk, “Whatever he has planned.”

 

“How late is late?” 

 

“Not long I promise. I’ll finish up as quickly as I can and come home to you and we can go.” Frank smiled, “Got a surprise for you.”

 

“A surprise?” Ryan seemed dubious, “If this is another attempt at me putting my hand in your pocket when you get home-”

 

Frank burst out laughing, shushing himself as he put his hand over the receiver, “No I swear, it’s an actual surprise.”

 

“Good.” Ryan smiled again, “How’s work anyway.”

 

“It’s… Interesting.” Frank chose for the lack of a better word.

 

“You can tell me more later, I’m steamed under.” Ryan sighed, “I’ll see you at home?”

 

“‘Course, babe.” Frank smiled slightly.

 

“I love you, sweetheart.” Ryan added in a whisper and Frank scratched at the back of his neck.

 

“Yeah- Yeah, love you too, Ry.” Frank replied before he hung up, sitting back in his chair before he swung out of it and stood up, walking slowly into Gerard’s office, seeing his boss sitting and filling in some papers, “Sir?”

 

“Frank?” Gerard asked with a casual coolness in his voice, “How may I help you?”

 

“I- Well I mean it’s not really important but I told Ryan I’ll be working a bit late tonight.” Frank toed the ground in his new shoes, admiring the shine of them as he put his hands behind his back.

 

“But you didn’t break the news about tomorrow night.” Gerard stated and Frank looked up to see Gerard looking at him with an unreadable expression yet again.

 

“I think one heart failure is enough for now.” Frank smiled, “He’s fine with it.”

 

“Would it change anything if he wasn’t?” Gerard asked and Frank frowned at the weird question he had been handed.

 

“I- Well no. I guess he’d have to learn to live with it if I have to work overtime.” Frank shrugged.

 

“Good. You can’t let him manipulate you with feelings. You do what you feel is right regardless of how your significant other may feel about it, Frank. Always put you first.”

 

“I…” Frank stared at Gerard for what felt like ages, “Th- Thank you, sir.”

 

“Is there anything else I can do for you, boy?” Gerard asked and Frank bit his lip, shaking his head as he smiled politely.

 

“No, sir.”

 

“Good boy. Get back to work. Also I want you to pencil in an appointment for me tomorrow with my dentist some time if he’s free. His number should be in the rolodex I gave you yesterday.” Gerard put his finger in his mouth, “Think I cracked a filling.”

 

“Ouch.” Frank winced, “If- If you’re in pain I used to use clove oil on my teeth as a kid. Or vanilla extract.” Frank shrugged and Gerard looked up, his expression softening slightly.

 

“They work?” 

 

“Like a charm.” Frank nodded, “Just a couple drops on a cotton swab and it’ll numb it for a while. Granted they don’t taste great but…”

 

“Would you make my appointment,” Gerard grimaced slightly, obviously in pain, “And then perhaps run out and find something for me. It’s excruciating.”

 

“Of course, sir.” Frank gave a dramatic half bow before he straightened up to see Gerard smiling slightly at him, “Anything else?”

 

“Just run along with you and your vanilla, boy.”

 

~

 

Frank looked at himself in the reflection of one of the windows outside his and Ryan’s place, eyeing himself in his new suit as the other suit and Ryan’s were slung over his shoulder in bags. He was so excited to show it off, so excited to show Ryan what he had gotten and so damn excited to wear it out on date night tonight.

 

That’s if date night was still happening…

 

Frank glanced down at his watch and grimaced at the time. He had told Gerard that he’d stay only for a little and a little turned into two hours. It was already almost eight in the evening and Frank knew Ryan would not be pleased. 

 

He walked up to the door and pulled out his keys, unlocking the front door before he walked in and closed the door behind him, chucking his keys in the bowl.

 

“Hi babe.” Frank sighed as he looked at Ryan, who was sitting in the kitchen at the table, arms folded and a sour expression on his face, “Ry?”

 

“You’re late.”

 

“I said I would be.” Frank set his suits down over the end of the chair at the kitchen table.

 

“There’s tardy and then there’s this.” Ryan pursed his lips again, “Two hours.”

 

“I know…” Frank sighed softly, “I didn’t mean to-”

 

“What are you wearing?” Ryan raised an eyebrow and Frank stood there awkwardly with his hands in his pockets.

 

“I- Well…” Frank bit his lip as he tried to figure out what to say, “Well Gerard said- Well he- He bought it for me.”

 

“He bought you a cheap suit?” Ryan scoffed, “Why?”

 

“Oh it’s not cheap.” Frank snorted, “It’s a…” He looked at the small label on the inside of his blazer, “Bottega Veneta..”

 

“Wh-” Ryan’s eyes widened and Frank knew Ryan would know who that is, “He bought you a fucking Bottega suit?”

 

“He uh…” Frank bit his lip again, running a hand through his hair as he saw Ryan’s brows knit together, “Bought me two.”

 

“A jacket alone is like two and a half grand, Frank. What the fuck?”

 

“He…” Frank put a hand on the suit bag, “He didn’t think my clothing was appropriate.”

 

“Appropriate?!” Ryan’s voice went higher in octave as he stood up, “How the fuck is he expecting you to pay him back, Frank? Why didn’t you say no?!”

 

“He’s a very difficult man to say no to.” Frank’s voice went quieter, “And…”

 

“And…?” Ryan asked, his voice clipped as he seethed, eyeing the garment bags in front of him with fury.

 

“I don’t need to pay him back.”

 

“Excuse me?” Ryan scoffed, “Like hell.”

 

“What is your problem?!” Frank took a step closer.

 

“This isn’t okay!” Ryan hit his hand on the table, “You can’t just take from a man you barely know, Frank!”

 

“I didn’t take!” Frank yelled back, “He fucking insisted, Ryan. You weren’t there.”

 

“Take it back.” Ryan stated simply and Frank’s jaw dropped.

 

“Oh yeah because that’ll go down well. He didn’t want me looking like a fucking clown at work so he fixed it. He did a fucking better job than you fucking did!”

 

“Wh-...” Ryan’s jaw was now on the floor, “How dare you, how can you not see how weird that is? Most bosses barely buy their employees a coffee and this man knows you as his assistant for two fucking days and he buys you… Are those new shoes?”

 

“So what of it?”

 

“You have shoes.” Ryan seethed, “Just like those.”

 

“He threw them in with the other shit.” Frank turned, folding his arms, “I look fucking great and he did it for me so I’m not doing shit. And I will keep wearing them.”

 

“It’s like he’s fucking grooming you, Frank.” Ryan came around the table and up to Frank, looking down at him, “How do you not see it?”

 

“How do you see this shit?” Frank scoffed, “You’re just fucking jealous.”

 

“Jealous?” Ryan’s voice raised, “What the fuck am I jealous about?!”

 

“Oh yeah that’s right,” Frank’s voice went up again, “You don’t need to have someone buy you shit because you have fucking everything don’t you?! You have everything you want!”

 

“I do not!” Ryan screamed, looking angry, “How fucking dare you!”

 

“No, y’know what…” Frank’s fists curled as he tried to hold back his anger, “Some of us actually have to be grateful for the shit people give us and we have to work hard, Ryan! Not everyone has their fucking parents’ money if they don’t feel like working!”

 

It was a split second later and Frank’s head snapped to the side, a few seconds when his cheek was stinging from the flat contact of Ryan’s palm. Ryan had slapped him. Frank’s mouth opened as Ryan fumed, tears in his eyes, panting with pure rage. 

Frank’s knees went weak as the intense pain of the slap resonated in him, making his breath shudder out as he looked up at Ryan, both of them in an intense and thick moment of tension as they locked eyes.

 

“Frank I-” 

 

Frank couldn’t help it, he couldn’t understand what had happened to him in that moment, something in his head seemed to unhinge only slightly, seemed to loosen as he grabbed Ryan, kissing him roughly.

 

Ryan let out a grunt in surprise as Frank kissed him, hands on Ryan’s chest as he pushed him against the counter. Ryan pushed at Frank for a second, grunting softly as he tried to figure whether or not Frank was losing his mind.

 

Frank stumbled back for a second, panting as the saliva between them pooled onto his bottom lip, his eyes were wide and slightly desperate as a knot tightened in his stomach. Ryan’s eyes looked him up and down for a second before his brows furrowed and he tucked a slim finger into Frank’s pants and pulled him back. Frank let out a grunt, threading his fingers into Ryan’s curls as he kissed him feverishly, moaning against Ryan’s lips.

 

Ryan leaned back against the counter, holding himself up with one hand propped, the other had moved around Frank instinctively to grab his ass, holding him close.

 

Frank let out another moan as Ryan tugged at Frank’s new jacket, pushing it from his shoulders when it slid down Frank’s arms and onto the tiles behind him, Frank’s arms now free of tight constraint as he lifted Ryan up and wrapped the latter’s legs around his hips. Ryan let out a breathy whimper as he tugged Frank even closer by the tie, their bodies pressed tight with no space between.

 

Frank let out a small grunt as Ryan tugged on his lip, teeth on his lip ring before they sloppily made their way over his jaw and to his neck, the saliva cool with Ryan’s shaking pants.    
  


“Whoa- Fuck.” Frank groaned, his hips rutting against Ryan as he pulled at the tie at the back of Ryan’s head, pulling the orange band from in his curls and chucking it aside as he gripped Ryan’s hair in one hand, feeling Ryan’s tongue on his neck.

 

Ryan tightened his grip around Frank, his ankles wrapped in a vice as his hands fumbled with Frank’s tie, tugging it down as he unbuttoned Frank’s shirt somewhat.

 

Frank pulled Ryan from his neck, hearing Ryan grunt softly before they were kissing again, fiery and needy as tongues rubbed and hips rocked in motion.

 

Frank pushed Ryan back, hastily unbuttoning the buttons on Ryan’s red and white plaid shirt, unbuttoning it roughly. Ryan’s hands held Frank’s face, long fingers bent as his fingertips went through Frank’s hair. Frank let out a groan, nipping at the tattoo on Ryan’s wrist, sucking softly on the skin, hearing Ryan pant quietly before he pushed Ryan back on the counter, making him go back on his elbows with a surprised huff.

 

Frank’s mouth started at Ryan’s chest, kissing as feverishly as he had before as he pushed the shirt and brown waistcoat out of his way, feeling Ryan’s fingers in his hair, tugging experimentally. Frank let out a loud groan at the pain in his scalp, biting down on Ryan’s soft stomach. Ryan sucked in a breath, keeping it under Frank’s mouth as Frank tugged at Ryan’s dark blue jeans with his teeth.

 

He looked up at Ryan for a moment, seeing his boyfriend’s head back and eyes closed, his pout lips parted a fraction as he took in what Frank was doing. Frank mouthed over Ryan’s erection with his tongue before he let out a groan and brought his hands up, gripping Ryan’s wrists in his hands before he pulled, watching Ryan fall down onto the counter with a grunt, his head slant against the wall.

 

Frank kept Ryan’s wrists in his tight grip as he kissed up Ryan’s pale body and to his lips, kissing him with a low moan, grinding on Ryan, feeling Ryan’s denim-encased hard-on against his own. Ryan managed a soft gasp as Frank ground down against him, trying to ease the friction that was building up as quick as it was building in Frank’s system.

 

“Fuck- I-” Frank moaned softly, “I need-” He whimpered as he let go of Ryan’s wrists and slid his hands roughly under Ryan’s ass, pulling him closer as they pushed against each other, breath hot and sticky on skin that added to the entire moment.

 

“Frank…” Ryan muttered softly, the simple call falling from his lips made Frank’s knees buckle instantly, his heart jumping at how raw Ryan’s voice sounded. Frank grabbed Ryan even harder and pulled him off the counter, Ryan’s feet hitting the tiles as he took Ryan by the hips and turned him around, pushing him against the counter. Frank reached forward and slipped his hand into Ryan’s jeans as he unfastened them, palming his boyfriend roughly as he pushed himself up against Ryan, grinding slowly, his eyes closing instinctively.

 

Ryan gripped the edge of the counter with one hand, the other pressed against the tiles of the wall ahead of him, fingers bent as his nails scraped pleadingly. Frank let out a shaky moan, wrapping his hand around Ryan’s dick, palming still as the other hand unfastened his new leather belt and his black slacks. He swallowed, the contact of his hand on himself had his body tremble. 

 

Ryan let out a small groan, his hips dipping in against Frank’s hand as Frank stroked him, his other hand in sync as he wrapped it around himself properly, rolling his hips up against Ryan. But Ryan shuddered and turned, surprising Frank for a moment before Ryan’s hand was on Frank’s jerking him off. Frank let out a groan, a loud groan at the touch and let go, rutting into Ryan’s grip, pushing him against the counter with his hips, their bodies slick and shaky.

 

“W’na come all over you…” Frank whispered as he nipped at Ryan’s neck, feeling Ryan’s thundering pulse under his tongue.

 

“Frank- I-”

 

“Better not say no.” Frank let out a soft whine as Ryan sped up, nodding in agreement and Frank knew Ryan would want it in the moment, he knew Ryan was just as desperate to get off and Frank knew a part of his boyfriend wanted it just like he used to when they’d get off like this in the school bathrooms. 

 

“Lucky I don’t fuck you right here.” Frank lifted one of Ryan’s legs up, pulling Ryan’s hips even harder against him, hearing Ryan suck in a breath in surprise, his head lolling back.

 

Ryan’s breath came out strangled then as he tried to swallow, his hips thrusting into Frank’s hand that was sandwiched between them and Ryan’s own fist. Frank could feel himself up on his toes, his legs tense and the rest of his body taut, his eyebrows furrowed as each noise that left him got louder and louder, shorter and rougher.

 

“Frank w- wait…” Ryan gasped as Frank sped up his hand, “Wh- What about dinner?”

 

“Fuck dinner.” Frank groaned softly as Ryan seemed to do the same and picked up his own pace, tightening his grip on Frank’s dick as Frank’s nails dug into Ryan’s thigh.

 

Ryan’s head went back again, his eyes closed as his body shook, his grip slipping from the counter when he came. Frank looked at him, revelling in Ryan’s jerking hips, in his tremors as Frank’s sloppy handjob did exactly what he had wanted. Frank could feel the slick running down his fingers and on Ryan’s pants as he stroked him through his silent orgasm.

 

Ryan pulled his hips away from Frank as the sensitivity kicked in and Frank let go of Ryan’s dick, his fingers in his mouth as he tasted Ryan on his tongue. He let out a moan, goosebumps running rampant over his skin as his brain recollected the taste.

 

Ryan’s slack grip tightened again as his orgasm haze wore off into tingles and Frank gasped at the sudden jerk on motion, his hips snapping forward as he practically humped Ryan, whining desperately as his own release grew with intensity and fire.

 

“Ry- fuck.” Frank moaned, his body tight as Ryan’s other hand went back around to pull Frank closer into him, gripping his ass in a tight hold. Frank hissed softly as Ryan nipped at his neck again, sucking low on the base beneath his tattoo, the soft sound of Ryan’s breathing had Frank’s lungs all but collapse in his ribcage.

 

The tight pull in his lower stomach started a slow leak of fizzles before it broke, exploding like an accidental set of fireworks. He cried out, moaning in quick and short snaps as his hips involuntarily sped up, fucking into Ryan’s tight fist as he came.

 

Ryan bit down, making Frank scream softly, his knees giving in almost as he held the counter and rode out his intense orgasm.

 

He stopped, whining breathlessly as Ryan pulled away slowly, wiping his hand on his still unbuttoned shirt. Frank remained still against the counter, his chest rising and falling heavily as he tried and failed to regain moisture back in his mouth and to his tongue.

 

“I-...” Frank croaked as he straightened up, his legs going like jelly as he tucked himself back into his pants, “I don’t…”

 

“Me neither.” Ryan whispered as he did the same, “I wasn’t expecting that honestly.”

 

“Yeah I didn’t plan it…” Frank whispered as he leaned in for a kiss but Ryan moved back, making the latter frown, “What?”

 

“You- Your mouth…” Ryan stuttered and Frank realised that he had practically dizzy-scraped the come off of his hand in his orgasm-chasing haze.

 

“You’re still not going to relent?” Frank sighed, “Fine.” 

 

“Sorry, I just… It’s gross.” Ryan shrugged, “Not my fault.”

 

“Yeah.” Frank bent down and picked his jacket up from the tiles, dusting it off pointedly, “Whatevs.”

 

“You’re still mad.”

 

“Yep.” Frank picked his suits up, the foul mood settling over for the night.

 

“I’ll kiss you if you brush your teeth?” Ryan offered as Frank walked to the stairs.

 

“Or...” Frank began to ascend the stairs, “You can kiss my ass instead, George.”


	16. Chapter 15: Far Too Cutesy and So Sugary Sweet

As much as Frank wanted to say that he hated filing, there was a part of him that actually liked it for various reasons. It would give him a break from whatever he was working on. Give him a break from taking calls and passing on messages to Gerard. It also gave him a break from being in the same office as Derek. The one person in the office who was watching over him regularly, making sure that he was doing everything how he was supposed to be. Frank knew what he was doing. Gerard had been helping him out so he really didn’t like it when Derek would stand behind him, watching him at work or leaning over the desk that separated then, asking him how he was doing. Expecting him not to be doing okay.

 

He had this. Frank felt pretty damn good about how he had his job pretty much figured out by day three of his first week. That had to be a record. It took him at least two weeks to know what he was doing when he worked at the newspaper. So much pressure then. There was pressure now, but it was different and Frank was handling it a lot better than he expected.

 

Derek had gone and dumped a load of paperwork next to Frank on his desk, making him look up from his computer, pulling out an earbud, bringing himself back into the world while his music continued to play in his right ear. Derek had taken it upon himself to not do any filing now Frank had started working. He was no longer the person that was doing two jobs. Why should he do it when he finally had someone else in his office. Someone newer and less experienced to the point that he could push him around a little bit, telling him what to do and having Frank nod, saying that he would do it because he was too much of a newbie to tell him no.

 

It wasn’t like Frank was bothered about the fact that Derek was ordering him around. He probably should have been, especially with the way that Derek had been with him over the past two days, but Frank just rose above it, ignoring it and getting on with his job. More than happy to do what he had been asked to do as he picked up the stack of paper that Derek had told him to file, putting his earbud back in while he walked to the filing room. 

 

Frank pushed the door open with his shoulder, juggling the paperwork while he turned the volume up on his music. Just a few minutes of peace and not so quiet while he began sorting through everything on top of one of the filing cabinets, having his own routine while he put everything where it needed to go. On top of the cabinets before he put it all away, mouthing along to the song that was playing. Working faster while he had Nine Inch Nails playing in his ears. He always believed that he worked faster when he was plugged into music. If only his high school teachers had believed him after countless times of confistacting whatever music device he had.

 

Frank made light work of what Derek had given him to put away. Separated out, he began to sort out the separate files, putting them away, speeding through everything while he was listening to music. 

 

Thank god for Wifi at work and Derek telling him the password so he didn’t have to drain his data while he worked.

 

His music changed halfway through his task, having him completely submerged into the next song while he worked. Nearly done, Frank thought to himself as he moved around the small room, going to the next filing cabinet where he began to sort through, rearranging in date order, completely unaware of the fact that someone had come into the same room as him.

 

So unaware because he had his music turned up full. Humming along, he only noticed after he caught a glimpse of something in the corner of his eye. Like he had left a cabinet open by accident.

 

No. Turning on his feet to close what he thought he had left open, that was when he realised he wasn’t alone, jumping at the sight of someone else being in the room with him.

 

“Mother fu- shit-” Frank cursed, immediately tugging his earbuds out of his ears as he saw Gerard watching him with a quirked up eyebrow over his burst of profanities. Frank leant back against the nearest cabinet, one hand on his chest while he tried to calm down his heart which he swore had gone and pissed into his lungs over the fright, “Sorry sir. You startled me.” Frank apologised, immediately feeling bad for swearing in front of him again.

 

“I apologise for scaring you,” Gerard said from the other side of the small room, taking a step closer to Frank, “I didn’t realise you had music on.”

 

Oh god, please say he wasn’t about to get in trouble for listening to music. Gerard was looking at him, watching him while Frank tried to pocket his headphones as quickly as possible.

 

“Sorry,” Frank apologised, “I probably shouldn’t have had them in.”

 

“Nonsense. I don’t have any issue with it. I know Derek does it from time to time,” Gerard told him, letting Frank breathe a sigh of relief because after what happened yesterday, he didn’t want to start a tally of things that Gerard didn’t approve of, “As long as the work gets done then I don’t mind. What are you listening to?” Gerard questioned curiously, still hearing the quiet tinny noise from where Frank had stuffed his earbuds into his blazer pocket.

 

“Oh,” Frank stammered, unsure of whether to say what he was listening to as he put his hand into his pocket, fumbling with the headphones inside, “I don’t know if you would know the band…”

 

It wasn’t a bad thing. Frank just said what he had said because Gerard didn’t exactly come across as the kind of person who would be into the same music as him. He didn’t look like the kind of guy who would be into Korn or any kind of music like that.

 

“I may surprise you,” Gerard chuckled softly, “I know I am older than you but I do know a thing or two about music.”

 

Frank nodded at that, knowing full well that Gerard was intent on knowing what he was listening to. Small talk in the filing room, clearly this was happening and there was no getting out of it, “I was listening to Korn.”

 

“Ah, Korn,” Gerard nodded, taking Frank by surprise because he knew the usual look het got when he mentioned anything to do with his music. Usually a frown because they didn’t know what he was talking about or the other look, a look of disgust because who in their right mind would listen to music like that. Clearly Frank and now apparently his own boss, “I will admit, I haven’t listened to them in a while. I always preferred Life Is Peachy over their debut album. It was much more complex and fun to listen to.”   
  
“That’s one way to put it.” Frank smirked, finally shutting off his music so the tinny sound didn’t ring out from the inside of his pocket. Gerard really took him by surprise with what he had said. He hadn’t given him the look that Frank expected. He had actually said something about the music too and that really surprised him. Usually people just disagreed with his taste in music, thinking he was weird, but maybe his boss was turning out to be just as weird as him in that aspect.

 

“I need you to do some things for me...” Gerard started, finally coming out with why he too was stood in the small room with him. Frank nodded, waiting for Gerard to list of the things that he needed him to do for him, but the list never came. It looked like Gerard went into a daydream for a moment, watching Frank, his stare making the pit of Franks stomach churn because wow that really was a stare he had. Not a hard one, but definitely some that Frank knew was definitely doing something to his insides. A moment passed before Gerard snapped out of it, blinking before clearing his throat, “Apologies Frank.”

 

He smirked, trying to ignore the way Gerard looking at him had made his stomach do a thing that he hadn’t felt for a long time, “Thought I’d lost you there.”

 

“It’s just a pleasure to finally see you so smart,” Gerard explained, coming even closer to Frank in the small room. He raised a hand, running it over Franks lapel like it was something that was completely normal. Frank had never had a boss treat him like this before. Two bosses before. Ryan's parents. Yes they had commented on his smartness before, usually at family events, but nearly always out of work because the dress code had always been a little lax at the newspaper. The small compliment made Frank warm up, the hand on his lapel, smoothing it down did more than that to him. The hand which moved, taking hold of his tie. What in the world was Gerard doing? Doing to him while he felt the need to hold his breath, eyes locking onto Gerard’s while he looked down at his tie, adjusting it. That was what he was doing, lining it up before he pulled it a little tighter against his top button, “I hope you appreciate what I did for you boy.”

 

Frank nodded, “Of course I do.” He breathed a sigh of relief because the tension he felt surrounding them suddenly lifted. He was just straightening up his tie. It wasn’t like Frank had numerous things floating through his mind as to why Gerard was being like this with him. Definitely completely different to his other employers, but the weird tension was gone as quickly as it came when Gerard put his hand on his suit. Brushing down his collar, Frank smiled weakly as Gerard felt proud of how smart he had made his new assistant.

 

Frank felt a finger on his neck. The contact alien for a second, cold yet warm at the same time. Pulling his collar down slightly, Gerard frowned until he realised what he had gone and come across hiding half out of sight on Franks neck. The purple blemish on his skin. A definite hickey which definitely wasn’t there before. 

 

“This wasn’t there yesterday.” Gerard commented, tone low and curious as Frank realised what he had gone and found. Honestly he hadn’t spotted it this morning in the shower. Or when he stood in front of the mirror cleaning his teeth. In the heat of the moment last night Ryan must have put it there. Right when he was all up against his neck, pleasure overriding everything else for Frank to the point that he didn’t realise what had been done. What Gerard had gone and found right now as he stepped back from him, his hand instantly coming up to cover the hickey and hide it from sight.

 

“Sorry,” Frank immediately apologised for what his boss had gone and stumbled on. This was not good. Especially on his third day. No boss should have to come across the fact that one of his employees was more than active. Like a sacred bond when it comes to starting a new job. Only how good you are at your new job should come out in the beginning. Not how good you are with your boyfriend behind closed doors. Frank immediately blushed, knowing that a personal line had gone and been crossed, “I didn’t know it was there.”

 

Gerard didn’t say anything straight away. It all of a sudden got awkward in the small room. He wondered if he should have just carried on with the job Derek had given him to do. Move on and wait for Gerard to give him what he wanted him to do, but he couldn’t move. Feet fused to the floor, Frank found himself looking down, ignoring the new look Gerard was giving him because he felt like he was about to be scolded for having a sex life.

 

Was he really that annoyed about the fact that he had a hickey on his neck? His expression gave Frank that conclusion, but he didn’t want to jump to that because what boss in their right mind would be annoyed about the fact that Frank had only done something that was normal. Or at least as normal as having a boyfriend who was frigid ninety percent of the time.

 

“Well it was date night last night, wasn’t it?” Gerard broke the silence finally with a smile that Frank couldn’t read. He had seemed annoyed but he was coming across like it didn’t bother him. Chopping and changing, Frank didn’t know what to think because Gerard seemed to do just that very easily. Frank nodded at what he said, remembering that he told Gerard exactly why he couldn’t work late last night. Not that date night had happened. More argument night which had turned out alright in the end. Maybe Frank was still bothered about the fact that Ryan was so bothered about the two suits he had been bought, but sex. it was as simple as that. Frank knew what he was like and honestly, even right now, remembering how it had all started made him question himself.

 

“Yeah,” Frank stammered out, nodding as he hoped that this awkward moment would just end already. Just tell me what you want me to do, Frank thought as Gerard continued to look like he was annoyed, even though he had cracked a small smile at him, “It was.”

 

“I need you to run out for me,” Gerard spoke, bringing the conversation back on track. The whole reason why he was in the room with Frank, even though now Frank swore that Gerard was suddenly off with him, “I have some dry cleaning I need picking up.”

 

“Yeah, okay.” Frank nodded, making a note to look through all the information Gerard had given him because he knew, buried in it somewhere, he would know where to go without having to ask.

 

“And get me a coffee while you’re out. You know how I like it.”

 

Frank nodded, feeling uneasy as he tried to remember the drink. Venti latte, no foam, How many sugars did he take again?

 

“Now hurry along boy,” Gerard instructed, heading back to the door, “I’m sure you have plenty of work to do once you’re back.”

 

“Yes sir.” Frank said, quickly finishing off the filing before he went to do what he had been asked.

 

\---

 

Frank came back as soon as he could, loaded up with everything he had been asked to get. He had two suits slung over his shoulder. He should have known what he was picking up for Gerard when he said that he had dry cleaning for him to get. Frank hadn’t exactly seen him in anything else and he couldn’t exactly picture his boss in anything else. hell, the guy probably even had a suit that he wore just at home. It was the way he presented himself that made Frank think that as he balanced the dry cleaning and three coffees in a holder in his other hand.

 

Gerard’s latte, exactly how he liked it because thankfully the barista recognised him from the other day, calling out the latte with no foam and two sugars. He had really saved Frank because even once he was in the Starbucks, he just couldn’t remember that last detail of Gerards drink. He also got himself a coffee and as he walked back into the office, somehow managing to get the door open with his foot, he saw Derek down the hallway, looking through paperwork with Lindsey.

 

“Hey,” Frank piped up, heading towards him as quickly as possible without dropping anything. How he had managed to get back without dropping anything he didn’t know. He felt proud, even as both Derek and Lindsey looked at him, watching him come towards the two of them, “Derek.”

 

“Whats up new guy?” He asked, looking at Frank, wondering what he wanted. It had to be important if he felt the need to interrupt the two of them.

 

“I got you a coffee,” Frank told him, coming to a stop in front of them. He adjusted, pulling the dry cleaning higher up onto his shoulder whilst still balancing the drinks holder. Derek saw the cup with his name on it, raising an eyebrow because he didn’t know a drinks run had been done and if it had, why hadn’t he been asked instead of having one thrust onto him without Frank knowing what he wanted, “Cappuccino. How you had it the other day.”   
  
“Thanks.” Derek said uneasily. It was a nice gesture, he just didn’t know if Frank had done this for him for a reason. What did he want if he was suddenly getting him coffees on a whim? Derek took the drink out of the holder, taking a sip before he thanked Frank again.

 

It wasn’t like Frank had done it for a reason. He had, but he kept that hidden. The whole new guy thing, Frank knew that that wasn’t going to be dropped for a while, but he just wanted to fit in. Not seen so much as the new guy. The guy who dressed like a spaz. That was in the past, thank god, so Frank wanted to just move on with the peace offering. Have a coffee he bought out of his own pocket and just move on.

 

“I didn’t know you were doing a coffee run.” Lindsey said, making Frank feel bad because now it looked like he had missed out on everyone else except him, Derek and Gerard, “I would’ve loved a coffee.”

 

“Sorry,” Frank apologised immediately, wondering how he could make it up to her, “Do you want mine?”

 

“It’s fine,” Lindsey waved a hand at him, “I’m sure Bob will be on coffee run soon enough when he realises that you went out and got coffee for you guys.”

 

Frank felt bad then. he didn’t want to be seen as the guy who only got coffee for his boss when he was asked to. He was only doing what he had been asked to do. Fair enough, he hadn’t been asked to get Derek one, plus Gerard hadn’t said that he couldn’t get one for himself, but he was there and he was just trying to be nice. Plus he really wanted a coffee so two birds one stone.

 

“He’s in his office with a visitor.” Derek told Frank, sipping on his drink. Frank nodded at that, knowing not to be too long as he started to make his way towards Gerard’s office.If he was in the middle of a meeting then he knew to keep his head down. But he had to give him his coffee. He had to let him know that he was back so as Frank got to the door, juggling everything again so he could get the door open, he knew to be as quick as possible. Don’t interrupt for too long and just get out. Get back to work until Gerard needed him again.

 

Frank hadn’t seen the smirk on Derek's face as he left both him and Lindsey in the hallway. He didn’t hear what he had said to her as he fumbled with the door, sliding it open. If only he had then he would have been more prepared for what he was about to see as he stepped into Gerard’s office, not even noticing to start off with while he walked straight towards his desk.

 

“Here’s your coffee sir,” Frank smiled at him, setting the holder down on the desk before he swung the carriers from his shoulder, “Your dry cleaning too.”

 

“Thank you Frank,” Gerard smiled at him, leaning back in his chair, “I didn’t know I was to be getting a visitor today. if I’d have known then I would have gotten you to hold back on going out.”

 

Frank frowned at that. He had no idea what Gerard was talking about. He was just his assistant. Any visitors that came in, they only wanted to see one person and that person Frank was looking at right now. Why would he have been needed?

 

He knew when he looked around and saw the one person he was not expecting to see in his workplace. Never before had this happened without him knowing. Of course he knew before because of relations. But this. This had Frank stammering as he looked around and saw Ryan sat in the chair behind him. Arms folded across his chest, smiling at Frank like he was supposed to be here.

 

“Ryan,” Frank stuttered out, feeling like a deer in the headlights as his own boyfriend watched him. Watched Gerard as well from where he was sat, “Wh-what are you doing here?”

 

“I came to bring you lunch.” Ryan smiled at him, holding out the bag that he had brought food in for Frank. He called bullshit, there was no way Ryan had come in just to bring him lunch. After the way he had been so obtuse about what Gerard had done for him, what with getting him two brand new suits for work, Frank knew that Ryan had an agenda for being here. This wasn’t just a loving boyfriend bringing him his lunch. Frank could tell from the way Ryan was looking at him, trying to read him from across the office.

 

“Isn’t that nice,” Gerard commented, making Frank fume internally. This was not nice. This was so far from nice because Ryan was doing this on purpose. After last nights fight, he was just being how he usually got when he was jealous. Frank knew that he was jealous, even if Ryan would come to deny it later at home, again, Frank would call bullshit until he was blue in the face, “I do like it when Lindsey brings me lunch in.”

 

“So thoughtful,” Frank spoke through gritted teeth, eyes locked with Ryan’s, trying to give him a lock that read  _ you should not be here.  _ This wasn’t his workplace. He couldn’t just turn up on a whim. When he felt like it. This was out of line and Ryan should have known this as Frank walked towards him. He should have known that after last night, he was being so out of order that Frank was going to be more than furious with him, “What the fuck are you doing here?” Frank hissed as he leant down closer to Ryan, lowering his voice so Gerard wouldn’t hear him.

 

“I brought you your lunch.” Ryan said far too innocently, voice sickly sweet even though his eyes read otherwise. He glared at Frank, jealousy practically seeping out of every pore while he sat with the man who was apparently more than happy to spend a small fortune on his boyfriend.

 

Frank was furious right now, but he couldn’t show it as he snatched the bag out of Ryan's hand, scowling at him before he stood up straight and turned away from him. Frank couldn’t even bring himself to look at Ryan right now. How did he even think that this was a good thing to do? After last night, didn’t Ryan think that backing down and just accepting that his boss had done a nice thing for him was the best way to go.

 

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” Frank asked Ryan, hoping that he would get the hint that he didn’t want him here. This was beyond embarrassing for him. Like Ryan dressing him up, but worse because right now Ryan was sat in the chair wearing part of the paisley suit that he had got Frank to wear on his first day. Proof that what Frank had worn wasn’t his choice and proof that Ryan really was the kind of person who would do this to him. He was doing it right now. Embarrassing him in front of his new boss by just turning up unannounced and taking it upon himself to sit with Gerard like this was his own office, “What about work?”   
  
“Got a half day,” Ryan said far too casually for Frank’s liking, making him internally groan because what if Ryan had done this on purpose. He hadn’t mentioned anything about a half day at work for a long time. Last time he got a half day was when he had a family arrangement he had to attend to. Clearly he had done this just so he could come in after last night. Probably get the low down on his boss after yesterday, “I wanted to surprise you.”

 

“That you did.” Frank muttered under his breath.

 

“It has certainly been interesting to get to know the person that I have heard so much about.” Gerard said to Frank, giving him a look because Frank knew that he had already said far too much to him about Ryan. Frank hoped that his own boss wouldn’t drop him in it with Ryan. His word vomit from the other night about how Ryan bleached his own asshole, that could not come out and even Frank gave Gerard a pleading look. Don’t do this to me, he thought, hoping and praying that this wasn’t actually happening right now. This was all a dream. Frank had fallen asleep in Starbucks and he was going to be woken up by one of the baristas, telling him to be on his way.

 

“Same here.” Ryan said far too nicely for Frank’s liking. His agenda still hidden. Frank didn’t know that Ryan had been here for at least fifteen minutes by now. Turning up with a hand made lunch to get him into the building, sweet talking the receptionist to let him in because he was here to see his boyfriend. He was here to see Frank, waving the food at her, only to make the receptionist think that he was so sweet and romantic. The kind of guy that she wished she had, only not gay. Ryan had been sat with Gerard, casually talking about Frank because after what he had heard and seen had happened yesterday, to him, it was clear that they both had an interest in the man who was stood between them. Ryan just wanted to make it very clear to Gerard that Frank was his and no amount of fancy fucking suits were going to win Frank over. he wasn’t that easy. Wasn’t that dumb either to throw away over six years just for some clearly wealthy man in yet another overpriced suit.

 

“Lovely,” Frank said, voice dripping with sarcasm as he turned to look at Ryan again, wanting him out now. Out before he even set foot in the office. If only he had held back on going out to do what Gerard had asked him to do then maybe Ryan wouldn’t have even been allowed into the building because Frank would have stopped him and told him to go home, “Well, Ryan was just about to go, weren’t you?”

 

“But we were talking about how you are getting along here,” Ryan said with a pout, pretending to be bothered that Frank wanted him out. He was bothered, but he didn’t want it to come across like that. Not how he was actually bothered because what with the suits that Frank now owned, it was like he was trying to get him out for a reason. Like he was hiding something. Didn’t want him having anything to do with his boss because what if what was being hidden was something more? Clearly there had to be something more if Frank was getting suits from it all, “You’re not throwing me out after you only just got back?”   
  
“Yes, I am,” Frank told him, not even caring that Gerard was watching the two of them right now, analysing the both of them as Frank got Ryan up and out of the chair, “I am busy. Gerard is busy so please, if you could...”

 

Frank pushed on Ryan's arm, directing him towards the office door, absolutely seething over how he thought that he could just do this. Ryan had been bang out of order and no doubt he was going to have something to say about it all once Frank got home tonight.

 

That was if and when he got home tonight. He had promised Gerard that he would do overtime tonight to make up for the fact that he didn’t do any last night. Ryan was going to be more than livid and Frank could already picture just how that was going to start before he could even walk through his own front door.

 

“It was a pleasure to meet you, Ryan,” Gerard piped up from his desk, holding up his latte that Frank had given him, “And thank you for my latte, boy. You know just how I like it.”

 

“Boy?” Ryan spat out as Frank got him out of the office,  looking at him with pure confusion on his face that was mixed in with anger that had been bubbling away inside of him, “He calls you boy?”   
  
“What the fuck do you think you are playing at?” Frank finally shot out once he got Ryan out of Gerard’s office, out of his own office and near to the front door. He didn’t care if the receptionist was behind her desk, looking startled because Frank had stormed passed, holding onto Ryans arm with a look of fury on his face.

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Ryan said like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth, pulling his arm free from Franks grip.

 

“You can’t just turn up at my fucking place of work and decide that it’s okay to sit with my boss,” Frank practically shouted, holding back a bit. He didn’t want to cause a scene, seeing as Derek and Lindsey were still nearby, probably able to hear everything that was going on right now, “Who the fuck does that?”   
  
“Who buys their assistant of two days suits?” Ryan jabbed at Frank, folding his arms over his chest, “Who even calls a grown man boy anyway? Something is real fishy here.”

 

“I don’t know what you think is going on,” Frank started, voice wobbling as he tried to control just how cross he was at Ryan right now, “But there is nothing. I thought you knew that last night. You’ve got to get your head out of whatever ass it is stuck up. Come back to reality and realise you are being nothing more than an over jealous bitch.”

 

Ryan flinched at that, hurt. He was so sure that something was up. Frank was hiding something from him and he had been adamant that he was going to find out what it was. His boss would have said something to him, but he hadn’t. Even in the fifteen he had been sat with Gerard, he got nothing from him. The two were clearly in cahoots and Ryan was damn sure that he was going to find out what was fishy one way or another.

 

“I think I should go.” Ryan said, feeling hurt from the fact that Frank had actually called him what he had done. He had no right to talk to him like that. Frank knew that Ryan had no right to do what he had done today. Both of them believed that they were right with what they had said and done. Only one was and Frank knew damn well that Ryan was completely in the wrong for his actions today.

 

“I really think you should,” Frank told him, so cross at him, clenching his fists, trying to control himself as he still held onto the paper bag of lunch in his hand. Ryan’s fucking kind gesture that came with a hidden agenda. The agenda that was now apparent as Frank pushed him towards the door, “I’m so mad at you right now.”

 

“You’re mad at me?” Ryan scoffed, “That’s rich coming from the person who is clearly up to something.”

 

“God just-” Frank started but couldn’t finish his own sentence. He opened the front door, holding it open as he waved a hand at Ryan, signalling him to walk out of it right now. Leave and just go do whatever he was going to do. Probably stew over this and think that there was definitely something going on with the way Frank had treated him in his own work place. Who treats their boyfriend like that?   
  
Who walks into their boyfriends workplace, thinking that it’s okay to sit with their boss and question them?    
  
How fucking dare he do this, Frank thought as Ryan huffed, taking a step outside. Who the fuck does he think he is, waltzing into my place of work to interrogate me like this, sit with my boss who is a very fucking busy man, Frank thought again as he shut the door behind Ryan, not even wanting to look at him. Not wanting to even think about him right now as he groaned, running his hands through his hair. So frustrated, Frank was so done with today yet he still had over half a day to get through. So done with Ryan, but he knew that he was going to have to face him tonight. Deal with him and sort this whole mess that he had created out.

 

“Hey Frank,” He heard, looking up to see Derek stood near their office doorway. Frowning, Frank asked what he wanted, hoping that it was something that would take his mind off of what had just happened, “You might want to check your desk…”

 

Frank was confused. Last time he was at his desk it was clear. He had been keeping up to date with all of his work. Unless after what had just happened, Derek was dumping a fresh load of work onto his desk, help take his mind off Ryan in the most annoying way possible. He huffed, going to do what Derek had told him to do. Check his desk. If it was work, fine, Frank wasn’t entirely in the mood to be bossed around by Derek right now, but at least it would take his mind off Ryan for now.

 

Which it didn’t because it wasn’t what Frank had been expecting.

 

On his desk sat a bunch of red roses. Actual roses which he assumed that Ryan had put there. Right beside a smaller bunch of coloured flowers to boot. Got here expecting to see Frank, not finding him because he was running errands, so the next best thing to do would be to just leave them there. Leave them along with a lavish box of chocolates which really, Frank couldn’t believe that he had done this. It would have been a nice gesture if Ryan hadn’t gone all crazy over the whole suit deal and just coming into his office to meet his boss. Check out his boss and make sure there was nothing going on, which he still didn’t believe. Ryan had done this and he assumed that he had done it like marking his territory. Telling Gerard to back off because Frank was his. Frank sighed, tossing his lunch from Ryan into the nearby bin, resting his hands on his desk while he looked down at the mess of fucking romance that had been put right where he worked.

 

This was unbelievable. Frank was all for impromptu romantic gestures, but this had been done with jealousy. This had been done on purpose and Frank was more than furious with Ryan right now. marching into his office, leaving him flowers and chocolates for his co workers to see.

 

Laughing at too. Frank heard a familiar chuckle, looking over his shoulder to see Derek stood in Gerard’s office doorway, talking about it with his boss. Gerard looked at him, expression unreadable like earlier, making Frank whine, collapsing down into his chair because this could not be happening. Ryan could not be like this because what if his actions jeopardized his job. What if he had gotten too personal with Gerard earlier and any minute now Gerard would call him into his office and tell him that this wasn’t going to work out.

 

This had to work out. There was no way in hell Frank was losing another job thanks to his supposedly loving yet fucking crazy boyfriend.

 

Frank took a moment to look at the bunch of roses, scanning the box of chocolates before he snapped in his head. This was not going to work. Ryan was not going to be able to just waltz into his office and mark his territory like a pissing dog. Telling everyone, including Gerard, in his office to back away from Frank because he was taken. No, this really wasn’t going to work as he stood up, grabbing the roses and chocolates, picking them up from his desk before he left his office, leaving both Derek and Gerard wondering what he was going to do.

 

Frank didn’t have a clue what he was going to do, but he tried to think on his feet, wondering if he could just get rid of these because fuck Ryan and his roses. Fuck Ryan and his chocolates. Frank was far too mad to even want to keep the roses. Far too mad to even pig out on the chocolates. Ryan didn’t deserve that and Frank just wanted rid of them as he had an idea, knowing full well that one person in the office that he had met would appreciate them.

 

Frank knocked on the door, waiting patiently until he heard  _ come in  _ from the otherside. Placing the box of chocolates under his arm, he opened the door, hiding his anger and frustration as he smiled, seeing Lindsey sat at her desk, working away, “Can I help you sweetie?”

 

“I noticed that your office didn’t have any flowers in it,” Frank said while he stepped into the room. Lindsey spotted the roses, eyes going wide at the sight of them. Red roses. So beautiful as Frank placed them down on her desk, “So I thought I could brighten the place up with them.”

 

“They’re beautiful,” Lindsey gushed, picking them up to smell them before she looked at Frank quizzically, “Why are you giving me roses?”

 

“Why not,” Frank shrugged with a smile, not wanting to tell Lindsey that the real reason was because his boyfriend was a complete tool bag and he didn’t want anything to do with what he had given him, “I just wanted to brighten up your office. Plus you can have these too. Figured you might enjoy them more than I will.”

 

Lindsey didn’t know what she had done to deserve this from the new guy in the office. Frank handed her the box of chocolates with a smile on his face, hiding his annoyance at Ryan so well before he told her that he had to get back to work. Get back to quietly fuming at his desk while he did what he had to do, trying to ignore the fact that sooner rather than later, he was going to have to go home to face Ryan and sort it all out.

 

Frank flopped back down into his chair, sighing as he tried to relax. There was no relaxing now though as he tried to breathe through his anger, stopping when he saw a card and a stupid cuddly toy bear that had  _ I love you  _ emblazoned on it still sat on his desk, another smaller pink bear sat beside it holding a heart in it's hands. There was a pink fluffy photo frame with a picture of the two of them in in.  Far too cutesy and so sugary sweet Frank swore he could get diabetes from it. Just so much stuff that really wasn’t needed. More stuff than Ryan had ever bought him on Valentine's days. More flowers were tucked down the side of his computer. More flowers to give to Lindsey Frank thought as he picked them up and looked at the yellow flowers. There was a card tucked in between the stems and Frank just sighed. More shit that he had missed. Frank cursed under his breath, ignoring Derek next to him. Ignoring the fact that Derek had been the one to witness Ryan offloading all of this stuff onto his desk. Wondering who the fuck he was, leaving all this mushy gushy crap on Frank’s desk. It didn't matter now though. Frank tossed everything under his desk because he really didn’t want to see them. He didn’t entirely have the heart to throw them in the trash, so leaving them hidden under the desk was the next best thing to do as rested his elbows on his desk. Out of sight, out of mind. That’s what Frank was hoping for as he closed his eyes, hands in his hair while he tried to lose some of his frustration.

 

He couldn’t. Ryan had really gone and annoyed him and now all Frank could think about was how he was going to have to deal with his boyfriend who had clearly gone psycho today. Completely out of line, Frank could not shake off his anger while he tried to get back to work.

 

“Frank?”

 

“What?” He snapped, spinning round in his chair to see Gerard stood in his office doorway, taken aback by the fact that Frank had just snapped at him. Even Derek looked at him, surprised that Frank had even spoken to Gerard like that. He immediately shrunk in his chair, feeling awful because he had retaliated at the wrong person, venting out momentarily until he realised who he had vented out to, “God- sir, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to shout at you. I am so-”   
  
“It’s okay,” Gerard cut him off, looking far too happy for Franks liking. If Frank had shouted at anyone above him in his last job then he would have got a right bollocking for it. He had just snapped at his boss. He expected to be pulled into the office to be told off. Told how he should speak to his superiors with more decency. That didn't come though. Gerard just nodded at him with a smile on his face like he got it. he understood and as much as the smile confused Frank, he just felt relieved over the fact that Gerard had said it was okay, “I was just wondering if you wouldn’t mind popping out for me again. I fancy some lunch if you feel like getting some air.”

 

“Okay,” Frank nodded, pushing his chair away from his desk, standing up to go and do his next task. Thank god this was getting him out of the office again for a bit. Getting some air to calm down seemed like a great idea and Frank was more than happy to take it as he walked up to Gerard, “What am I getting you sir?”   
  
“Just a BLT sub from the deli around the corner,” Gerard told him, handing him some money before holding out something that Frank had left in his office, “Don’t forget your coffee.”

 

Frank smiled as he took his drink, telling Gerard that he wouldn’t be long. Though Frank wondered if he could take as long as he wanted. He knew that he couldn’t, but with what he was going to have to deal with tonight, he knew he was going to need some time to figure out what in the world was going to happen between him and Ryan.


	17. Chapter 16: Denial is the Beginning of the End part 1

“You coming this time or what?” Derek asked as he stood in the doorway of their office, looking at Frank, who was scribbling notes down in his journal for Gerard.

 

“Can’t.” Frank muttered.

 

“Date night with lover boy?” Derek snickered and Frank soured, feeling his mood drop yet again, knowing Derek was doing it on purpose.

 

“No.” Frank replied shortly, “I have to work.”

 

“Ah…” Derek muttered, “Should have guessed. Rather you than me.”

 

“Next time.” Frank looked at his screen and then at Derek, “I was supposed to yesterday.”

 

“Whatevs.” Derek shrugged before he turned and walked to the door with the rest of the employees, making Frank’s stomach churn unhappily, a tidy curl of guilt welling up in his stomach.

 

“Ah, I’m glad you’re still here.” Gerard purred, making Frank jump out of his guilted daze and turn in his chair to see his boss leaning in.

 

“I did promise.” Frank smiled, “Ready when you are.”

 

“Good. Go and stretch your legs, we’ll be busy for a while.” Gerard nodded, “There’s a lot for you to handle tonight.”

 

“I’ll be alright.” Frank stood up with a smile.

 

“I insist.” gerard stated simply and Frank narrowed his eyes.

 

“Sir?”

 

“Yes, boy?” Gerard blinked, raising his eyebrow as Frank put his hands behind his back.

 

“Would you like a coffee?”

 

“Was I that obvious?” Gerard eyes Frank, making the latter grin.

 

“Your boyfriend…” Gerard started up a sudden conversation with Frank later that evening once everyone had left work and Frank had gone to get Gerard his coffee, “He’s…”

 

“Whatever you’re going to say, I can think of something more colourful, trust me. Not that he deserves it.” Frank mumbled unhappily as he took the stack of papers from Gerard’s desk and began sorting them into piles around him on the floor at Gerard’s side.

 

“I have no doubt. You looked rather overwrought to see him this morning.” Gerard commented simply and Frank frowned and looked up at him, “Upset, boy.”

 

“Oh…” Frank sighed again, “Well he didn’t tell me. And… I just don’t think it’s right to just pop in at someone’s work. Especially if it’s a new job. And if they’re not there, you leave.”

 

“Well he seemed dead set on seeing me too.” Gerard stated and Frank looked up at Gerard beside him, “He even asked Hayley if he could come in to see me.”

 

“Hayley is…” Frank trailed off.

 

“Our temp secretary.” Gerard chuckled and Frank nodded dumbly, “I was on the phone and he just waltzed in and sat down.”

 

“Oh my god.” Frank buried his face in his hands, letting out a whine, “I don’t know what’s gotten into him.”

 

“Oh I do.” Gerard chuckled slightly as he handed Frank another small stack of papers, “Your little boyfriend is worried. I think he thinks something is going on here, Frank. And I’m almost a hundred percent certain he came in here to check me out.”

 

“I- You know?”

 

“Of course I know.” Gerard took a sip of his coffee, “I’m not an idiot. You’re his boyfriend and I did a grand gesture and he’s worried about the stability of your relationship.”

 

“And I’m worried about the stability of his head.” Frank snarked, making Gerard snort into his cup.

 

“I doubt there is any at the moment. He’s a little jealous, I think. And definitely suspicious like an insecure housewife with an attractive husband.” Gerard signed away on some papers before handing them over, “I doubt you being here after work will help.”

 

“Yeah well…” Frank put them in the correct pile, “I don’t exactly feel like going home even if I didn’t promise to stay after work.”

 

“It’s sweet that he’s so territorial. Although the flowers were a bit much.” Gerard snickered, “I see you gave them to Lindsey. She came in to brag.”

 

“Hope she likes them.” Frank shrugged, “I don’t want them.”

 

“It’s making me look bad.” Gerard smiled, “I haven’t bought her flowers in a while and my assistant one ups me, chocolates and all.”

 

“Sorry.” Frank blushed, “Next time I’ll give them to Derek.”

 

Gerard let out a loud chuckle at Frank’s dry comment, covering his mouth with his hand at the thought, a wide grin hidden that made Frank smile lightly for the first time that day.

 

“Frank, may I ask you something… Slightly intrusive?” Gerard queried and Frank nodded, looking up at Gerard, who had steepled his fingers for a moment, brows furrowed in thought, “Your boyfriend…”

 

“What about the malevolent toad?” Frank asked and Gerard tried to hide the smile on his lips before he cleared his throat.

 

“You mentioned that you boys have date night every Tuesday. Like a routine.”

 

“Yes, sir.” Frank nodded and Gerard pursed his lips.

 

“Is that the only routine between you two?”

 

“Well…” Frank trailed off, feeling his cheeks heat up slightly, “No…”

 

“I was think that.” Gerard nodded, “But Frank, just remember something.”

 

“What, sir?”

 

“Paulo Coelho once said that adventure is dangerous but routine is lethal. Remember that.”

 

“Hi boys.” A voice called out, making them both look up in surprise. 

 

Lindsey had just walked in, smiling to herself as she walked in to the office and looked down at Frank on the floor beside Gerard and at her husband with a raised eyebrow, “Having fun?”

 

“Superfluous amounts.” Frank sighed softly, making her giggle as she set a plastic bag down on Gerard’s desk, “I didn’t want you boys working into the night without food so… I brought you some Chinese.”

 

Frank straightened up at the thought of food, eyeing the bag on Gerard’s desk when he realised something that made his stomach sink. Lindsey didn’t know he was a vegetarian, no one knew, Frank was sure that Gerard didn’t even know. Frank hoped that Lindsey had gotten something plain or else he’d either have to break the news and her heart or tough it out and eat meat.

 

Lindsey unpacked the white take out containers onto the desk as Frank got up onto his knees beside Gerard and had a closer look.

 

“You didn’t have to do this…” Gerard sighed softly, looking flustered, “You’re too good to me honestly.”

 

“Of course I did. I’m not letting my husband starve because he’s a workaholic.” She looked at Frank, “I’m certainly not letting you starve after you bought me such lovely flowers, sweetie.”

 

“So what, uh…” Frank cleared his throat, “What did you get?”

 

“I got Gerard his favourite.” She pushed two containers towards her husband, “Sweet and sour pork and fried noodles.”

 

Gerard let out a small hum as he opened one of them and peered in, smiling happily as Lindsey pushed a container towards Frank, “And for you I got a vegetable chow mein.” 

 

:You…” Frank frowned at the food and at her, “How did you-?”

 

“Gerard told me.” Lindsey smiled as she stashed the plastic bag into her handbag. Frank looked at Gerard with a raised eyebrow, looking at his boss’ all-knowing gaze with complete confusion.

 

“A good boss knows his employees, Frank. And besides…” Gerard took a set of chopsticks from his wife, “Ryan told me.”

 

“He did?” Frank tilted his head to the side, “How did that even come up?”

 

“He was trying to one-up me on you. Telling me that he knows you more than I do, so I decided to use his jealousy for my own gain and asked him what things he knew that I didn’t. And he took the bait and prattled on for a bit. You being a vegetarian was one of the things.”

 

“Oh god.” Frank slid a set of chopsticks towards himself, “Dare I ask what else he said?”

 

“Your favourite colour is green.” Gerard shovelled a bite of pork into his mouth, “You love Dead Kennedys and Korn. Your parent’s split when you were three years old and you have more quick a number of body modifications, tattoos and otherwise. You walked in as he was about to tell me but I got the picture.”

 

“Oh.” Frank went bright red in the face and slightly relieved that his boss wasn’t aware of whatever was going on under his clothing, piercings included, “Right.”

 

“You have tattoos?” Lindsey asked with a smile and Frank opened his his take out and picked it up, sitting back on the floor with his legs crossed before he looked at the pages around him and scooted back on his ass and away from the important files.

 

“Yeah.” Frank then began eating, chewing happily on his noodles, “Quite a few. Not as many as I want though.”

 

“I wish I could.” Lindsey pouted, “Maybe later in life. A lot of people already question what I have.”

 

“Yeah,” Frank swallowed, “It sucks. My first three jobs I got turned down for before I worked at the paper because of my appearance.”

 

“They don’t know what they’re missing.” Gerard piped up as he bit into a piece of pork, eyeing Frank out of his periphery, making the latter blush.

 

“I better get going.” Lindsey smiled, “I’m glad you boys are fed, I bought milk earlier for the fridge so there is coffee for you as well. Do you need anything else, lovely?”

 

“I’m fine, dear.” Gerard smiled, “You’re more than welcome to go back to your TV shows.”

 

“Right.” She smiled, “I’ll see you later.”

 

“Bye.” Gerard watched her leave before he sat back in his chair, setting his food down, “Enjoying yourself?”

 

“Mm-hmm.” Frank managed around his mouthful of food, holding up a thumbs up at his boss, who merely smiled.

 

“Good. I’m glad you’re eating.” Gerard pushed his food aside, “You eat while I carry on, there’s a lot to do here.”

 

~

 

Frank was finally home, he had finally decided that he had to be considering it was just after ten at night. He had finished with Gerard at least a half hour ago and took the slowest drive home in existence.

 

But he couldn’t prolong the inevitable anymore, he couldn’t be out, he didn’t have anything else to do was he walked into the house and shut the door, locking it behind him before he put his keys and wallet in the bowl.

 

Frank looked around, seeing the house was empty, and he sighed as he hoped Ryan would be in bed and asleep. Frank knew he was going to sleep on the sofa anyway but the softer part of him had to at least go upstairs and make sure Ryan was breathing.

 

Frank walked up the stairs one by one, realising with each one just how tired he actually was. He made it though, begrudgingly, and walked into their bedroom to see Ryan sitting there on the bed.

 

“You’re awake.” Frank breathed out in surprise and Ryan turned to look at him.

 

“You’re home.”

 

“I am.” Frank nodded as he shrugged out of his jacket and hung it up in the wardrobe.

 

“Late.” Ryan commented.

 

“A lot to do.” Frank sighed as he loosened his tie.

 

“I bet.” Ryan folded his arms and Frank raised an eyebrow.

 

“What’s pissing in your cereal?” Frank asked as he kicked off his shoes and bent down to pull off his socks that he instantly threw in the hamper, turning to see Ryan still looking sour, “What is it?”

 

“Are you fucking your boss or not?” Ryan asked simply and Frank did a double take, faltering in surprise at Ryan’s blatant and ridiculous question. And at his crude language- language that Ryan was not usually a fan of.

 

“I- you’re kidding?” Frank scoffed and Ryan shrugged his shoulders coldly as he folded his arms, “You’re genuinely calling me out on an affair with the congressman of Belleville?”

 

“Well…” Ryan narrowed his eyes, “It would make sense.”

 

“Make sense?” Frank asked, bewildered as he unfastened his belt, “You do know that we’re in relationship, right? You and me… or have you been dissociate for about half a decade?”

 

“Now isn’t the time for your sarcasm.” Ryan said flippantly, “You’re not saying no.”

 

“Because you’re being ridiculous!” Frank scoffed, “I’m not fucking my boss.”

 

“Then what about the stuff he’s given you.”

 

“Stuff I needed.” Frank replied almost instantly, suddenly feeling repugnant towards his boyfriend, “Stuff I didn’t have.”

 

“Then where have you been all week?” 

 

“At work, Ryan.” Frank pulled his belt from the loops and lay it down in the wardrobe in a tight coil, “Working with my boss on overtime so I can make more money.”

 

“Or suck him off.” Ryan scoffed.

 

“I wouldn’t do that.” Frank stated simply, hearing Ryan scoff, “Mainly because I’m in a relationship but I also don’t want to embarrass myself because I’m out of practice with sucking dick.”

 

“That’s…” Ryan trailed off, “An unnecessary jab at me and you know it.”

 

“Do I though?” Frank asked with an eye roll, “You’re being so dramatic. Nothing is going on.”

 

“I don’t believe you.”

 

“No.” Frank straightened up, getting angry now, “You don’t trust me.”

 

“I do.” Ryan countered and Frank raised both hands in defeat before he turned and walked out of the bedroom to go and make coffee, walking away from his problematic boyfriend for a breather, “Don’t you walk away from me.”

 

“And look at me doing it though.” Frank replied as he walked down the stairs and into the hallway, “Look. I’m still doing it.”

 

“Frank, get back here.”

 

“No!” Frank yelled, “I’ve had a long day as it was without you going all Sherlock Holmes, Private Eye on my new boss! I know what you were doing!”

 

“Which is?” Ryan asked as he reappeared in the kitchen doorway much to Frank’s obvious dismay. Frank merely scoffed at Ryan as he began making himself a coffee, “Don’t ignore me.”

 

“Don’t you dare tell me what to do.” Frank hissed, “I don’t need to fucking obey you.”

 

“Don’t take that tone with me!” Ryan yelled, making Frank grip the counter tightly with white knuckles.

 

“Don’t fucking yell at me!” Frank turned on Ryan, furious and angry bubbles boiling in his stomach, “I don’t need to answer to you! You were there for more than just bringing me lunch!”

 

“And you’re doing more than filing and fetching coffee!” Ryan screamed back and Frank flinched, his hands curling into fists.

 

“No the fuck I’m not!” 

 

“Stop denying it, Frank!” Ryan walked into the kitchen and Frank stepped back, keeping his distance just in case he decided to throttle Ryan, “I know you’re fucking him!”

 

“First off…” Frank seethed, “Even if I was fucking my boss, I would definitely not be topping and secondly… And most importantly-”

 

“Wait-” Ryan interrupted Frank, stopping him immediately, making him sigh out deliberately and put his hands on his hips, “You wouldn’t top?”

 

“Is that really what you’re on about?”

 

“You’re not a bottom.” Ryan scoffed, “You’ve never… Are you?”

 

“That’s not the point.” Frank ran a hand through his hair, “You’re forgetting one major thing, Ryan.”

 

“Answer me.”

 

“Ryan.”

 

“Frank, answer me for fuck sake.”

 

“Ryan! Leave it alone! The man is married for fuck sake!” Frank yelled loudly, startling Ryan, “Do you fucking realise the man is married?!”

 

“W- I forgot….”

 

“And she works with us, Ryan!” Frank seethed, “She was there tonight too. And if you had asked and not just jumped to conclusions then you would have known that, for fuck sakes!”

“That means nothing.”

 

“Not everyone is a fucking cheater, Ryan! What the fuck is your problem?!”

 

“My fucking problem is you fucking your boss!” Ryan screamed back when Frank let out an aggravated scream before he grabbed the first thing he could and threw it, aiming his coffee mug in Ryan’s general direction.

 

“Stop being so fucking stubborn!” Frank screamed as the coffee mug hit the side of one of the top cabinets and shattered in pieces on the floor, sending coffee powder and sugar everywhere and making RYan jump out of the way, “What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

 

“Nothing!” Ryan screamed back as he grabbed his hair with tears in his eyes, “You’re the one who’s lying!”

 

“I’m not fucking lying, Ryan!” Frank didn’t know what to do, feeling his every sinew strung up, his whole body thrumming with fury, “You’re being so stupid!”

 

“No!” Ryan yelled back, “You fucking wish I was! So I wouldn’t see it! I do, I fucking do!”

 

“You’re deranged!” Frank clutched the counter, turning from Ryan, his head swimming in thick and bright red fury-laced molasses, “Just go away.”

 

“No.” Ryan said firmly, “Not until you admit it.”

 

“I have nothing to admit.” Frank forced back tears, “I’ve done nothing.”

 

“Oh no, apparently not.” Ryan said simply and Frank frowned and turned to look at Ryan, “You’re not the ‘doer’ in that relationship, right?”

 

“Oh for fuck sake…” Frank sighed softly, trying to control his shaking hands, “What would you like to do, Ryan? Would you like me to phone him so you can ask him, huh?”

 

“No.” Ryan folded his arms, “He wouldn’t tell me. I can see it from this morning. He’s too smooth to be caught lying.”

 

“You’re being ridiculous.” Frank scoffed, “How dare you?”

 

“You’re resilient.” Ryan narrowed his eyes, “I know you’re fucking.”

 

“Would you like to give my asshole a feel? Would that make you feel better? Any lube, any less tight?” Frank asked as he took a step closer, “It’ll be the first time you ever go anywhere near my asshole so how would you fucking know anyway?”

 

“That’s uncalled for.”

 

“So is this!” Frank ran his hands over his face, “This completely unnecessary intervention.”

 

“I’d rather this were a fucking intervention.” Ryan spat.

 

“If anyone’s on drugs here, it’s you.’ Frank spat, “You’re fucking insane and I’m so fucking hurt that you think that of me, Ryan.”

 

“It’s not you I’m worried about. It’s him.”

 

“But it involves you.” Ryan countered swiftly and Frank shook his head, “Don’t shake your head at me.”

 

“I fucking will. Don’t. Tell. Me. What. To do.” Frank spat, “You’re not the boss of me.”

 

“Bet that’s not what you say to him, is it?” Ryan spat back and Frank felt something in him snap, he felt as though he couldn’t take it. He couldn’t do it anymore, he couldn’t take what Ryan had become. He knew that it would only get worse and that Ryan was like a pitbull, once he locked his jaws in something he would never let it go.

 

“Y’know what?” Frank muttered softly, “Fuck this.” He turned and walked away from Ryan towards the living room.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“I said ‘fuck this’.”


	18. Chapter 17: Denial is the Beginning of the End part 2

Ryan walked into the living room, watching Frank sit down on the sofa. The air was still tense as Ryan came to a halt a few feet away from him, watching him for a second. Frank looked somewhat deflated, worn down and tired while he held his head in his hands, taking a moment to himself, not realising that Ryan had followed him into the living room.   
  
The fuck this that Frank had spat out before he walked away had hit Ryan somewhat harder than he thought it would. Like a punch to the gut that had winded him. Silencing him. Making him actually take a moment to access the situation that had unravelled yet again.   
  
They had been fighting so much recently. Ryan tried not to worry. Couples fought and he knew that, but there was someone that felt so unhealthy recently with their fights. Something that made Ryan feel uneasy, even as he looked at Frank, watching him for a moment in silence because he didn’t know if Frank actually wanted him in the same room as him.   
  
Frank didn’t. He wanted a moment to himself. A moment to just collect his thoughts and figure out what he was actually going to do. What was happening between himself and Ryan, it wasn’t healthy. Their arguments. Hell, their whole relationship seemed somewhat messed up and not normal. Frank knew this and he knew that he had pretty much blinkered himself to the whole situation for so long. But not now. It had all come to a head. Like Frank was standing on the edge of a cliff. He could walk away and everything would remain the same. Or he could jump and change everything. Break everything. Start everything all over again. Open his eyes and realise that this wasn’t working. Probably hadn’t been working for so long but he had just gotten so used to it that it didn’t feel like a problem until right now. Right now while he sat on the sofa, trying to breathe evenly while he collected his thoughts in his head. Remembering so much. All of it beginning to weigh this whole situation up for him.   
  
Frank noticed that he wasn’t alone after a moment of contemplation. He sighed, shaking his head because even after what Ryan had accused him of, he still wasn’t leaving him be. Watching him from the doorway, “You calmed down yet?”   
  
“Are you going to tell me the truth?” Ryan asked, folding his arms across his chest. It was good that they weren’t shouting. Frank was tired of shouting at Ryan. Tired of what they had become recently. What they had was no longer healthy and clearly Ryan was set on believing the nonsense that he had gone and concocted in his head. Frank scoffed, shaking his head again at Ryan before he sat back on the sofa.   
  
“I did tell you the truth.” Frank told him again, hoping that Ryan would listen to him and just drop this whole nonsense. Not that it mattered if he dropped it or not. Frank was at a point where he was so close to making up his mind on the situation. Their relationship. How could it work and stay strong on its foundations if Ryan wasn’t going to believe him?   
  
“I’m sorry,” Ryan started, taking a few steps forward so he could be closer to Frank. Not that he really wanted to be, especially with what colourful imagery he had in his mind. The whole idea that Frank was just casually doing his boss behind Ryan’s back. Ryan found it hard to believe Frank, especially when he was still dressed in some of the clothes that his boss had gone and bought him, “But I find that so hard to believe when you spend most of your nights with him.”   
  
Frank groaned. Not this again, he thought. Why couldn’t Ryan believe him? He could understand if he had ever done something behind Ryan’s back before, breaking the trust in the past. But he had never done anything to jeopardize their relationship. Everything he had done, it had been done with Ryan in his mind. In his heart. Why couldn’t Ryan just get it through his thick skull that he wasn’t cheating on him, “I told you...I’ve been working overtime to make more money. Just because I’ve done that, for us may I say, doesn’t mean that I’m fucking him.”   
  
“I find that hard to believe,” Ryan snorted, making Frank roll his eyes and curse under his breath, muttering out something that Ryan didn’t quite hear, “What did you just say?”   
  
“I said I find you hard to believe a lot of the time.” Frank spoke up, sitting up before making eye contact with Ryan.   
  
“What is that supposed to mean?”   
  
“You know exactly what I mean,” Frank spoke, “The moment someone does anything nice to me, you think that there is something going on behind your back.”   
  
“You’re being ridiculous-”   
  
“I’m being ridiculous?” Frank exclaimed, not quite believing that Ryan was being like this. Shouting one thing at him minutes before and then coming back while completely contradicting himself. Grasping at straws, Frank knew that Ryan was being over the top with all of this. He clearly also wasn’t letting it go and as much as Frank wanted this all to be dropped so they could move passed it, he wasn’t ready to move on from it. At least not the kind of moving on that Ryan was probably expecting when this all died down and he finally got what he wanted out of Frank.   
  
Which he wasn’t going to get because Frank was telling him the truth.   
  
“You’re the one who is letting your boss of less than a week buy you expensive suits,” Ryan said, making Frank groan yet again. This again. It was like Ryan hadn’t been listening to a word he had said to him, “You must be letting him do other things if he is willing to spend an inordinate amount of money on you.”   
  
“I didn’t let him,” Frank reminded Ryan, hoping to jog his memory so they weren’t going to have to have this conversation all over again, “He saw what I was wearing and fixed it. For your information I told him that he didn’t have to do this for me.”   
  
“And he still bought you the suits?”   
  
“He insisted,” Frank told him, “He stopped me. He said something along the lines of when someone offers to do something for you that means you will keep your job, you take it.”   
  
“Yeah, I bet you took it,” Ryan shot back with venom laced into his voice. His comeback, especially after what Frank had said in the kitchen, was more pointed than ever and Frank hated how he had pretty much set Ryan up for that comeback, “I feel like I don’t even know you anymore.”   
  
“So I made one comment in the kitchen and now that is what you are focussing on?” Frank questioned, wondering what in the world was going on in Ryan's head right now. He wished he knew because then he probably could divert away from all of this nonsense that Ryan was spouting out and get to the point. But no, that wasn’t how this was going, “Can you blame me for saying it?”   
  
“Well the fact that you said it proves that something is going on.” Ryan said quickly, making Frank feel the temperature rising in him again. The anger that he had got to calm down was bubbling up again because he was being so ridiculous. How could Ryan be like this when he had so little proof to go on? Frank knew that he had never lied to Ryan before so how could he go from being a loving and trusting boyfriend to the crazy paranoid boyfriend that was standing near him in three days?   
  
“It doesn’t prove anything.”   
  
“Of course it does,” Ryan scoffed, “It proves everything.”   
  
“No, it proves that you are selfish.” Frank fired back, making Ryan stop dead in his tracks, offended that Frank would even suggest that he was anything like that.   
  
Ryan didn’t even respond to that, offended over the fact that Frank had gone and suggested that he was something that he really wasn’t.   
  
“How can you be so frigid when all you’ve done in life is take it in the ass?” Frank questioned when he saw Ryan react to being called selfish. He could tell that Ryan didn’t believe he was what he had just been called, but he was so set in his own routine and ways that he clearly wasn’t aware of how it had been affecting Frank. The dull routine. The same dull and bland sex life that involved Ryan in the same position on the same side of the bed, every Tuesday, that was if Frank was lucky. Of course Frank knew that Ryan was selfish, even if the man didn’t believe it. Frank just knew from the lack of receiving anything and the only time they mixed it up was when it was his birthday.   
  
“I’m not selfish.” Ryan protested.   
  
“Then how come the only thing that's ever been in my ass is my own fingers?” Frank queried, making Ryan screw up his nose at his words.   
  
“You’re disgusting,” Ryan spoke, “Trust you to turn this on to how you supposedly get nothing out of this.”   
  
“Because I don’t!” Frank snapped, finally feeling the need to let go of everything that he had ever held in from the moment Ryan had started with his need for routine and order in their relationship. The tight, held together coils inside of him finally snapped, letting go of everything that he had ever held back on, “For far too long, everything in this relationship has been done for you! Done by you. Your need for routine... it's insane! I have never known a person to be like you, so meticulous with everything in their life, even down to the way you have sex, which, may I say, is a fucking rarity.”   
  
“Here we go,” Ryan threw his hands up in the air, “Frank has brought the topic of conversation onto the one thing he always thinks about. Sex. For god sake...is that really all you think about?”   
  
“When I barely get any, yeah,” Frank snorted, standing up to be face to face with Ryan. Talking to him while he was stood, Frank hated it because Ryan was looking down at him like he was the problem in all of this. Frank knew he wasn't the problem. There wouldn't have been a problem in the first place if Ryan had just stayed how he used to be when they first started dating in high school, “You think I enjoy it when all we do is the same thing over and over again...and not even over and over again because it's not about me when it comes to sex. It’s about you and what you want and when you want it. Only what you want and wow, I get lucky one day a year when you decide that it’s okay to do it differently. When it’s okay to mix it up for once. Literally once.”   
  
“How dare you,” Ryan snapped, raising his voice again which Frank really didn’t want happening. If he shouted then Frank shouted and then it would all just get out of control again and Frank just wanted to sort this out once and for all. Not end up making Ryan cross which in turn would make him cross again, “It is never always about me. If you want it to be different then talk to me. Actually tell me and we can talk about it.”   
  
“That's the thing though Ry,” Frank shook his head, knowing exactly where talking about doing other stuff with him got him before. Lying on the sofa eating a whole can of whipped cream, to mention one occasion, “I bring up ideas to mix it up and you just shoot me down. For god sake, you’re the only gay guy I know who doesn’t even like sucking dick.”   
  
“Excuse me,” Ryan jabbed a finger pointedly towards Frank, “I did last week, or have you forgotten about that?”   
  
“Have I forgotten about the one time my boyfriend actually gave me oral?” Frank shot the question back to Ryan, “No. I don’t forget fucking miracles.”   
  
“Is this really what we are arguing about?” Ryan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose while he shook his head, “You and your lack of oral sex?”   
  
“No!” Frank exclaimed, wondering if Ryan had taken a blow to the head since he had accused him the moment he walked into the bedroom not even half an hour ago, “We are arguing because you think I’ve been fucking my boss!”   
  
“Which you still haven’t denied.” Ryan huffed out, giving Frank a knowing look which made him throw his hands up in the air.   
  
“I told you that nothing is going on!” Frank repeated, finding it astounding that Ryan wasn’t believing him. Over six years had really come to this. No trust? No belief in a word Frank was saying? There was a metaphorical towel and Frank knew he was close to throwing it, “What do I have to say that will make you believe me?”   
  
“You don’t have to say anything,” Ryan told him, “I just don’t know if I can trust you when this man is out there, throwing money at you when you have barely known him two weeks! Frank, he’s grooming you! Clearly he is doing this for a reason and I’m sure that reason involves you giving him something more than money for it.”   
  
“Where the hell are you getting this from Ryan?” Frank questioned, hoping to understand why Ryan was so set on the idea that this was happening behind his back. Had he lost a screw in his head and that was making him believe this bullshit that he had gone and concocted, dead set on finding out the truth when there was really nothing going on, “I can’t fucking work out why you are being like this? What the hell did I do to make you turn psycho all of a sudden.”   
  
“Don’t call me that-”   
  
“Then don’t act like it!” Frank shouted, making Ryan recoil a little because of the volume of his voice, “When I told you about the job, you went full on about what we could do with the extra money. You were so happy about me taking the job.”   
  
“Yeah,” Ryan snorted, “I was. Didn’t know that your boss was going to be grooming you.”   
  
“God sake Ryan,” Frank groaned, feeling like they were going round in circles over this. Frank couldn’t do this. He was getting a headache from just trying to be reasonable with him. Telling him the truth which Ryan was throwing right back in his face. It couldn’t go on like this. Frank couldn’t cope with it and he couldn’t even bring himself to realise that they could fix this. he couldn’t see any other solution. There was only one and Frank found himself pushing more towards it as he started to see that there was no way Ryan was going to back down from this. His stubbornness, that was only going to make things much worse, “I can’t fucking do this.”   
  
“What do you mean you can’t fucking do this?”   
  
“I mean I can’t fucking do this anymore. You not believing me when I’ve been telling you the god's honest truth. You being so adamant that our relationship has to be done your way or no way. I just…”   
  
“What?”   
  
“I can’t do this anymore.” Frank sighed out, giving in to what felt right in his head. Finally admitting defeat after six and a bit years of trying so hard to make this work. It had worked, but those days were gone now. He couldn't see it being worked out, especially seeing as Ryan probably wouldn’t trust him anymore. Even though he hadn’t done a single thing wrong.   
  
“What do you mean?” Ryan asked, frowning, wondering why Frank was giving in like this. Usually he was so headstrong and stubborn when it came to standing his ground. It was like he was waving a white flag, just giving in far too easily which confused Ryan so much.   
  
“I mean…” Frank started, trying to choose his words carefully because he knew that once he said what he wanted to say, there was going to be no going back from this at all. Once Frank was done, he was going to be done for good, “I can’t do us anymore.”   
  
“Wh-what do you mean us?” Ryan stammered out, not quite getting where Frank was coming from.   
  
“I mean…” Frank sighed, shaking his head because it should have been obvious. What with everything that had happened between them recently. The whole dull routine had finally got to Frank. The dull sex life. Knowing that Ryan wanted this forever, plus the fighting recently, he just couldn't take and needed an exit. He had his exit now. The door was wide open, Frank just had to walk through it, “Ryan, look at us. This is not healthy.”   
  
“I don't know what you mean.” He said, voice wavering which Frank recognised immediately. The wobble in his voice was a sign that he was on the brink of crying. Ryan knew what he meant. Frank could tell. He also hoped that Ryan wouldn't break down, even though he knew it was inevitable with what he was doing. Frank just couldn't hold it together when Ryan started crying.   
  
“What we have, had, especially in high school. It worked. We worked then...but recently...it's just not the same anymore,” Frank began because he knew this wasn't just going to be a simple we are done here talk before they both parted ways, heading into the next chapter of their lives as new single guys. Frank tried to avoid looking at Ryan. He could just picture the quiver on his bottom lip without looking at him. Ryan had to know what was going on right now. If he didn't, then he was going to get a shock in in a second, “And now you accuse me, tell me that I'm sleeping with my boss that I've been working with for less than a week? What the hell happened Ryan?”   
  
“I don't know.” Was all he said.   
  
“I could cope with the routine Ry, just,” Frank spoke, glancing at him briefly for a moment before he looked back down at his hands, trying to find the right words in his head, “I did that for you because I know you like your routine. The same things day in day out. Week after week. Month after month. Year- you can see where I'm going with this.”   
  
Ryan sniffed, not saying a word. Frank closed his eyes after he heard Ryan, hoping and praying to god that he wasn't crying already.   
  
“I gave up so much to keep you happy...trying not to pester for stuff that I knew you wouldn't want to do-”   
  
“But you have been doing it recently,” Ryan pointed out, “You made me uncomfortable...bringing food into bed.”   
  
“I was trying to keep us going!” Frank told him, looking at Ryan who he knew was trying to come across as innocent. He had done nothing wrong even though he was the catalyst for all of this. Accusing Frank of something he knew he would never do. He would never cheat on Ryan. Never hurt him in that way. Ryan had got the wheels in motion, even though he was trying to stay in control of right now, “Do you know what it's like to be in a relationship where you don't know when your partner is actually going to want to be with you? Not knowing if it is a good thing or a bad thing if your boyfriend says no to sex on a regular basis?”   
  
“It's all you ever want!”   
  
“Because I'm deprived of it! You took something away from me that we used to love. You took away my freedom with it, telling me how it was going to be, on your terms alone.” Frank carried on, watching Ryan bow his head down, staring at his hands because he couldn't bring himself to look at the one person who was supposed to love him. Now tearing apart what he thought had been working for so long.   
  
Clearly not now.   
  
“I thought you were happy.” Ryan said weakly.   
  
“I was, we were,” Frank told him, taking in a breath, collecting himself before continuing, “But this can't go on like this. Ryan…”   
  
He knew. Ryan knew what was going on, he just didn't want to believe it. Six years for what? This, Frank putting a stop to everything they had. Everything they had been working towards together. Ryan's dream of being with Frank forever. A pipedream now.   
  
“Ry, I'm sorry. I can't do this, I really want to say that it's not you, it's me...but then I would be lying and just…”   
  
“It's over. Isn't it?” Ryan asked. He already knew the answer. The atmosphere in the room and the way Frank was talking, it was obvious.   
  
Frank couldn't even bring himself to say yes. It was over. Frank knew this and Ryan knew this. God knows why he was after an answer, but Frank knew he had to give it to him. At least give him that since he had asked. Not got the hint.   
  
The nod Frank give him, avoiding eye contact while he did it was enough for Ryan. Break up confirmed. It was over between them. Just over six years just gone in one evening.   
  
Neither of them said anything for a minute. The room remained silent as the news sunk in for both of them. Frank was leaving Ryan and he just couldn’t believe it. Frank was leaving Ryan and Frank felt like a weight had been lifted. The tension he had felt recently, especially after the way Ryan had been acting, it lifted.   
  
Frank was preparing himself for what was possibly going to come. He knew that Ryan wasn’t going to take the its over and walk away with just that. Frank knew that he would want reasons, answers. He was probably going to ask so many questions to see if they could fix it. Not him fixing it. The two of them fixing it together even though Frank knew that he had done nothing wrong. Ryan would still try to make out that Frank was partially, if not completely, to blame for this break up happening.   
  
There was no fixing it though. Frank knew that as he got himself ready to explain to Ryan why he had come to this decision.   
  
“So you’re leaving me for him then?”   
  
Frank couldn’t believe what he had just heard. The fact that those words actually left Ryan’s mouth in the first place. He was astounded that Ryan was being so stubborn about this. So adamant that he knew what was going on. That was not the reason why Frank was leaving him. Ryan was the reason why he was leaving him and Frank just stood there, looking at Ryan, watching him in sheer amazement over what he had just said.   
  
“I can’t believe you sometimes-”   
  
“You’re not denying it-”   
  
“I’m not leaving you for my boss!” Frank shouted, making Ryan flinch again, “I’m leaving you because I swear to god you’re fucking crazy!”   
  
“Don’t call me that!” Ryan shouted back, hating it when Frank called him that.   
  
“Don’t fucking act like a crazy bitch then!” Frank shouted again. Voices were raised again. Yet again they were shouting and fighting, even though Frank had already ended it. He assumed that there would be tears from Ryan, but not more of this. Not more of his believing the nonsense he believed. Frank couldn’t take this. How the fuck would they have been able to come back from this if Frank hadn’t ended it all.   
  
Not that it mattered. Ryan was in full swing with Frank. So angry over the fact that he was leaving him. Giving up everything for the creep that was his boss. Giving him up to continue fucking the creep that was his boss. Ryan saw red, needing to vent. Needing to let Frank know exactly how he felt right now.   
  
How Ryan felt made him grab the nearest thing, needing to just have an outburst at Frank. So cross, so upset, so everything that was mixing in him. Every emotion running on high as he grabbed a nearby vase, letting out a scream before he threw it in Franks direction.   
  
Frank luckily dodged the projectile, cursing when the vase hit the wall behind him, smashing into far too many pieces that he would not be cleaning up. Ryan was being so bombastic over something that wasn’t even true. To even think that he was leaving him for Gerard, Ryan had completely lost the plot and Frank had to react. He had to retaliate. Fight fire with fire as he too grabbed the nearest thing to him. The bowl on the coffee table. Frank flung it at Ryan, fighting back.   
  
The bowl flew threw the air, missing Ryan and smashing on the kitchen floor. What Frank hadn’t noticed in his fit of anger, thanks to Ryan, was that the bowl hadn’t been empty. Trust him to go and throw the one thing that was full of Ryan’s fucking stupid potpourri. The shit that was dotted everywhere around the house, it was now all over the floor. All around Ryan as he looked at Frank, completely shocked at his actions.   
  
“The fuck is wrong with you?” Frank shouted at Ryan, taking in a breath, trying to calm himself down. That wasn’t happening anytime soon though. Frank was still good and mad over the fact that Ryan had been the one to throw first.   
  
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Ryan snapped back, still shocked that Frank had actually gone and thrown something at him. That bowl had been a gift from his mother. He was more than furious at Frank right now for what he had gone and done.   
  
“You!” Frank bellowed, anger firing out in his words. Such a release, Frank felt exhausted from all of this. The fight and throwing. The shouting and the ending, he ran his hands through his hair, pacing the room while Ryan watched him, stewing away.   
  
“That could have gone in my eye!”   
  
“Yeah well maybe then you’ll see sense!” Frank shot back before standing still. Standing in the middle of the living room. Silence fell again. The air in the room calmed. There was still tension, but at least they weren’t shouting at each other right now. Frank was grateful for that because Ryan was starting to give him a headache.   
  
“What happened with us?” Ryan asked, breaking the silence. He had taken a moment to calm down, looking at the pieces of potpourri scattered around him on the floor. Looking up to Frank, Ryan didn’t know where they had gone wrong. He thought everything was okay before now. Before Frank moved on from the paper to his new job.   
  
“We grew up,” Frank said, looking back at Ryan, “Maybe we worked when we were in high school. Maybe that was all it should have been.”   
  
“Well,” Ryan snorted at him, “I can safely say that one of us grew up.”   
  
“What is that supposed to mean?” Frank frowned, not sure if Ryan was insulting him or not.   
  
“I grew up,” Ryan pointed a finger at his own chest, “We moved in together and I grew up. I took responsibilities. I became an adult while you just stayed stuck in high school. You stayed exactly how you used to be back then.”   
  
“I grew up!” Frank exclaimed, shocked that Ryan was actually insulting him like this, “I grew up just as much as you did! I took responsibility. I got a job to support us. We moved in and started an adult relationship and I went with it. I grew up for you!”   
  
“That’s the thing,” Ryan sighed, shaking his head, “You grew up for us...but did you actually really grow up for yourself?”   
  
“I did!” Frank reassured him, “I just didn’t become a middle aged man before my time. At least I still have my youth and a fucking sense of humour, unlike you you fucking…” Frank couldn’t think of an insult. So cross, he just said the first thing that popped into his head, “You bitch tit.”   
  
Ryan recoiled at the insult, screwing up his face in confusion, “And what the fuck is a bitch tit?”   
  
Frank scowled at Ryan, annoyed at how he was being so fucking pernickety over the minor details, “It’s a saggy, overused dog tit, you bitch tit.”   
  
“See, this is proof that you haven’t grown up,” Ryan spoke, getting cross at how immature Frank was being. Childish insults, Ryan was not having it, “You’re still the emo kid that I remember from high school. I mean, what adult, in their right mind, goes around calling their other half a bitch tit?”   
  
“An ex other half,” Frank said pointedly, deflating Ryan a little bit, “Fine. Let’s say you grew up more than I did. Do you not see what it did to me?”   
  
“I don’t understand…”   
  
“You grew up wanting everything that life could give you,” Frank started, hoping that Ryan would understand without having to actually spell it all out for him, “I grew up, but I take every day as it comes. I never planned out my future as meticulously as you did.”   
  
“And what’s wrong with wanting to plan for my future?” Ryan asked.   
  
“What's wrong with it?” Frank fired back, “You got so wrapped up in what you wanted, you didn’t take into consideration what I wanted.”   
  
“I always took your feelings into consideration.”   
  
“Oh please,” Frank snorted, shaking his head, “Remember when I told you that I got offered the job? The first thing you went to was commitment. You talked about us getting engaged. You talked about it like you already had it planned out in your head.”   
  
“Is that such a bad thing?” Ryan queried, “I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I knew that. So is it such a bad thing that I suggested us getting engaged? I thought you wanted that too.”   
  
Frank didn’t say anything. He just looked at Ryan, giving him a sad, apologetic look that told him exactly how Frank felt about what he wanted.   
  
“You didn’t want that...did you?”   
  
“I don’t like being pressured into things,” Frank explained, “The fact that I also found your work notebook where you practised your signature with my surname…”   
  
Ryan blushed brightly at that. He had no idea that Frank knew about that.   
  
“...That terrified me because you were ready and I was nowhere near ready for that kind of commitment. You became so full on that you pushed me away.”   
  
“I never meant to.” Ryan told him, his voice small, getting smaller while he fought back on what was threatening to spill from his eyes.   
  
“But you still did...and then the way you reacted over my boss buying me suits…coming into his office and sitting with him, for fuck sake.”   
  
“That’s weird and you know it.” Ryan said flatly, standing his ground on how he felt about that. Looking down at what Frank was still wearing. One of the black shirts and the black pants that Gerard had bought him, Ryan hated the fact that his new boss thought that it was okay to treat his new employee like this.   
  
“It’s not weird,” Frank insisted, tired of this. The broke record which he really wished that Ryan would just drop, “Stop thinking it is. He was just helping me out. And please stop thinking that I’m sleeping with him. I would never do that to you and you should’ve known that.”   
  
“But you’re still leaving me.”   
  
“And I’m not leaving you for him. I’m leaving you because…” Frank couldn’t finish his sentence. he knew exactly why he was leaving Ryan. He had told him, but summarising it into a few words, it just felt so bad. As much as Frank wanted out, he didn’t want to hurt Ryan. Yes Ryan had hurt him, but Frank didn’t need to see the waterworks on Ryan or he too would end up crying.   
  
Six years just gone down the pan. he was leaving Ryan, but this was still hurting him too. Hurting him because Ryan didn’t believe him when he was telling him the truth. Didn’t let him have his way in certain parts of their relationship. It seemed so one sided. That was not how a relationship should have been.   
  
It never would be again for them too as well.   
  
“Because?”   
  
“I told you Ry,” Frank sighed, “You know why.”   
  
“But I wanted a life with you,” Ryan said, showing that even after the way he had been, there was still feelings for him there. Under all the accusations and hurt filled words and broken vase, Ryan still wanted a future with Frank, “You were my white picket fence. I wanted to be your husband.”   
  
“Ryan,” Frank groaned, feeling like they were going round in circles. Was what he said not that long ago not enough for Ryan to realise that he wasn’t on the same page as him, “I don’t want that. The idea of committing for life...that scares the shit out of me. I never promised that I would spend forever with you. I loved you, but I never wanted that kind of commitment. I never wanted to be tied down like that.”   
  
“But I love you…” Ryan said, voice small and broken like he was so close to break down, hoping that his admittance would save them from the inevitable.   
  
“I loved you,” Frank said, “But after what you accused me of and how we have ended up, I just...Ry, can’t you even see how stale we got?”   
  
“I thought we were fine.” Ryan told him.   
  
“We were, back when we first started dating. But recently we’ve just got stale. Our routine and everything…” Frank spoke, remembering what Gerard had told him in the office. The quote that rang so true right now, “I got told once...that adventure is dangerous but routine is lethal. Your routine has killed the relationship. You’re need for-”   
  
“That’s Paulo Coelho,” Ryan cut Frank off, recognising the quote immediately. It took Ryan by surprise, making him narrow his eyes at him. Frank didn’t seem like the kind of person to know anything about Coelho, let alone any of his quotes, “How do you know about him?”

 

“I just do.” Frank answered quickly, knowing that if he told Ryan that Gerard had brought the quote up to him, it would not go down well at all. A sure fire way to make Ryan blow up like a volcano in front of him.

 

“He told you, didn’t he?” Ryan assumed. He knew that Frank didn’t know anyone other than himself who knew about Coelho. It was so obvious. Frank had been spending so much time with his new boss recently that it made perfect sense.

 

Frank didn’t want to answer. He didn’t need to answer. Ryan still blew up, throwing his hands in the air because Frank had been unbelievable.

 

“You’ve talked to your boss about us?” Ryan screamed at Frank, disgusted over the idea of their private lives being common knowledge for Gerard now.

 

“I haven’t told him shit,” Frank lied. If he told Ryan the truth then he knew that he was going to be in more shit than he already was right now, “He asked me about overtime Tuesday night. I told him why I couldn’t Tuesday night and then he came out with that quote.”  
  
“Oh so what we do in our relationship is up for public discussion?” Ryan continued on his tirade, livid at Frank, “You just talk to your boss of what, three days, about us? Did you talk to him about breaking up with me?”   
  
“What the fuck, Ry no!”   
  
“I don’t believe you!”   
  
“Well there's a fucking surprise,” Frank feigned shock over what Ryan had just said to him, “Ryan doesn’t believe me. Ryan doesn’t believe that I’ve come to this conclusion all by myself because you have been a fucking nightmare to date.”   
  
“Do you think it’s been easy dating you too?” Ryan shot back, annoyed that Frank would even suggest that he was a nightmare to date, “What with you and your insatiable sex drive. I swear you have a problem.”   
  
“Are you suggesting that I have a sex addiction?” Frank shot back, flabbergasted that Ryan could even suggest something like that. He knew he was normal. Maybe his drive was a little higher, but that was probably only because Ryan barely had a sex drive at all, “This coming from the person who thinks sex once a week, if that, is completely normal.”   
  
“That is normal.”   
  
“No it’s not!” Frank exclaimed, “You have no interest in sex. It makes me wonder if your asexual.”   
  
“I like sex,” Ryan insisted, “I just don’t like it when I’m pressured into it.”   
  
“I have never pressured you-”   
  
“Bullshit,” Ryan snorted, “Shall I list the times you’ve practically begged me to have sex with you?”   
  
Frank blushed, feeling ashamed of the fact that he was in a relationship with a person and still he had to beg for intimacy. It should never have been like that. Not that he had any other experience with that, but it just seemed logical. Be in a happy relationship, have a happy sex life. Be with Ryan, feel bad for having to ask to be intimate with the person you love.   
  
“You’re still the immature, horny teenager that I remember from high school.”   
  
“Having a sex drive is not a problem!” Frank snapped, “You’re the problem! You’re the reason that I’m breaking up with you.”   
  
“Oh, so if I didn’t grow up and if I still straightened my hair and wore eyeliner then we’d still be together?” Ryan snorted out, mocking Frank.   
  
Frank just stood there, completely bewildered that Ryan even went there with that. It was the stupidest thing he had said all evening. How did he even think that saying something like that would make this situation any better? It did not and Frank just stood there, mouth hanging open in shock while he watched Ryan.   
  
This was why he was leaving him. Along with everything else, this was the nails in the coffin   
  
“I grew up and changed,” Ryan continued, folding his arms across his chest, “I wasn’t your little emo boyfriend anymore. You don’t want me as much because I’m not the same person that you had back then.”   
  
Fucking astounded, Frank could not believe that Ryan was saying this. After everything, it was like he was turning this onto Frank. Making this break up his fault when it really wasn’t.   
  
“Well I can assure you that eyeliner is not going to fix this.” Frank told him, pacing the living room again.   
  
“So this is it?” Ryan asked, watching Frank, “We’re just going to take a break and cool down?”   
  
He was holding onto hope. Frank couldn’t be serious about this break up. They had been together for so long that ending it all now seemed so silly. Starting all over again seemed so daunting, so Ryan clung on, hoping that Frank would see some sort of sense and they could work through this.   
  
“No, Ryan,” Frank spoke, stopping in the middle of the sitting room, “This isn’t us taking a break. This is us breaking up. We’re done.”   
  
Ryan nodded at that, sniffing, fighting back the tears which were threatening to fall now. It couldn’t be over. Frank couldn’t be leaving him. He was, but Ryan hoped that Frank would realise that he had made a mistake. Ryan had made a mistake and all would be forgiven. They would still be together because even after everything, Ryan still loved Frank. That wouldn’t change.   
  
“Ry,” Frank sighed when Ryan couldn’t hold it back anymore. He bit on his bottom lip, trying to fight his emotions, but he just couldn’t when they all came spilling out, tears streaming down his cheeks because Frank had just broken up with him. Ryan was heartbroken, “Please don’t cry. You know what happens when you cry.”   
  
Frank knew too well too. If Ryan started then he would start too. The way Ryan cried, all sobbing and whimpering, it got to Frank so much. Got to him to the point that Frank could feel his eyes stinging already.   
  
“Ryan, please, I’m sorry.” Frank apologies, voice wobbling already as he too lost control of his emotions. Ryan was full blown crying already, nose running and eyes streaming as Frank took a step towards him, “I’m so sorry it had to happen like this.”

 

“You can’t just end us like this,” Ryan said, so sure that it didn’t have to be like this. It was all fixable. They just had to talk. This could not be over after how long they had been together. How much time and effort Ryan had devoted to their relationship, “We have been together for so long. Frank, we can sort this out.”

 

“There is nothing to sort out,” He told him, “I said my bit and I don’t want to do this anymore.”

 

“Frank I am not giving up on us just because you made your mind up,” Ryan pushed on, hoping that Frank would see sense. See that he was going to be making such a big mistake. He would realise it when it was too late, “We can get through this together. Frank, please.”  
  
“Ryan stop it.”   
  
“I will not stop it until we are okay.”   
  
“I said stop it!” Frank snapped, unable to deal with Ryans pleading and begging. Frank knew that it was over, Ryan just had to realise that nothing he said, no amount of begging or pleading or reassuring that everything would be different, would change what had happened. They were done and Frank wasn’t going to back down on that.

 

“I’m sorry Ryan,” Frank apologised again, wiping his eyes dry even though he was still crying. Ryan was full blown sobbing now, lost in his emotions, unable to process that this was actually over between them. Six years, gone, just like that. It hurt him so much, “I just can’t do this anymore and…” Frank reached out a hand to Ryan, “Even if we did stay together, it still wouldn’t work out because we both want different things. You know that Ry.”  
  
Ryan flinched away when Frank tried to put a comforting hand on his shoulder. Scowling at Frank, he didn’t want his sympathy. Both of them were crying now. The break up had turned out just how Frank hadn’t wanted it to end, what with the tears from both of them. It was supposed to be easy, but Frank guessed that breaking up with someone who still claims to love you is never easy. Even after the accusations, this was never going to be easy.   
  
Ryan took a step away, walking away from Frank who was wiping his nose on the back of his hand. He sniffed, scowling at Frank. How could he do this to me, Ryan thought before he went for his coat, throwing it on quickly.   
  
“What are you doing?” Frank asked, fighting through tears to see Ryan going for his car keys, “Ryan?”   
  
Ryan didn’t answer. He didn’t even look back at Frank while he checked that he had his phone and wallet. Within seconds he was stuffing them into his jacket pockets, still ignoring Franks questions before he headed to the door. Opening the door while he still ignored Frank and his tears. Frank and his questioning.   
  
A few seconds later the door was slammed shut and Ryan was gone, leaving Frank alone in the aftermath of what he had done.

 

Frank stood in the living room, not moving a muscle now that Ryan had left. He heard the sound of Ryan's car being started, followed by the sound of tires moving on gravel. He was going. God knows where. Probably just anywhere away from Frank after what he had done. What he had ended.

 

Frank took in a shaky breath, trying to calm himself down so the tears would stop. He knew that he shouldn’t have been crying. He had come to the decision to break up with Ryan all by himself. He couldn’t go on like this forever, just like Ryan had wanted it. But crying was inevitable and Frank knew that. Ryan cried so of course he would also cry.

 

That wave of crying was calming down now though. Frank had heard Ryan drive off and now he was alone in their silent house. No longer a home because of what Frank had gone and done to them. He took a moment to breathe. The tears were drying up now and Frank felt calmer. Much more at ease with what he had done.

 

This had been a long time coming. He knew that. Ryan had just pushed him towards his decision a lot quicker. Being so adamant that he had slept with Gerard, that was the biggest load of nonsense Frank had ever heard. Why would he do such a thing like that? Frank knew he wasn’t a cheater, he would never have done that to Ryan.

 

Frank sighed, finally moving from where he had been standing. He took a moment to assess what had happened. How it had all gone down in such a short amount of time. Frank hadn’t expected Ryan to leave, but he had done and now Frank just walked around. Looking at everything that no longer mattered. Everything that the two of them had bought to make their house a home. It no longer was a home. That sheen had been wiped away now. All dulled down and old, no longer important for Frank now.

 

And the vase. Frank stopped, looking down at the broken shards of the item that Ryan had thrown at him. For a moment, he couldn’t bring himself to take his eyes away from it. Fixated on the small pieces, it was like it had set something off in his head. Fuse lit, the moment took over Frank and he couldn’t shake it from his head. All of a sudden Frank felt weak, his own emotions spiralling faster than he could reel them in.

 

He crumbled. What Frank had done finally set in. Throwing away six years because of everything he couldn’t deal with anymore. The one sided relationship. He was relieved that he was out of it, but he had still loved Ryan. He still felt sad that it was over and that was why he collapsed to the floor, crying all over again. properly crying. Not just because Ryan had cried and set him off. Actually letting go of what he had done. knowing that he was alone now. Single, crying on the floor. Ugly crying as he wiped snot away from his nose. Sat around the bits of potpourri that he threw, staring at the one thing that had set him off, bringing clarity and heart ache all at the same time. The stupid vase.

 

Frank sat there for god knows how long. Ryan never returned and all he could do was continue to cry. Continue to realise that this was it for him. It was over. Relief and pain. Despair and hope. It could only get better from now on, Frank just had to get through this, even though all he could do right now was cry amongst the remains of what they once had.


	19. Chapter 18: Poptart Being Rescued By the Insistent Belly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly love Jamia in this story.
> 
> Any errors, apologies, but we think we got them all :)

_ “You have got to be fucking kidding me?” Frank asked outright, stopping in his tracks, his phone pressed against his ear as his stomach sank into his almost threadbare socks. _

 

_ “I’m sorry Frank.” the editor in chief of the newspaper that Frank worked at, who also ended up being Ryan’s mom, was definitely not sorry, “We’re letting you go.” _

 

_ “Fuck sake, Danielle- Mrs. Ross- this is all I have, I fucking love this job.” Frank begged as he flopped down onto the sofa with a small groan, “You can’t do this… Please- I- I love this job.” _

 

_ “I am. We gave you the job because you were family, you were like a son to us. We let you into our home, treated you as only a loving family would and it didn’t seem to matter after all this time. You broke my son’s heart with the way you behaved, he told us about the things you said.” She replied simply and Frank grimaced, biting on the inside of his cheek. _

 

_ “I didn’t- I mean…” Frank began but he trailed off, having no words to say. _

 

_ What could he have said? That he felt betrayed by Ryan for telling his parents that their employee had gotten a job offer, or that their son’s boyfriend had gotten a job offer? _

 

_ Highly likely to make his situation worse. _

 

_ “Just hand in your notes and your press badge and collect your week’s pay, Frank. We’re letting you go. And Ryan wants you to know he’s not sorry for spending those nights here.” Danielle replied with a sigh before hanging up. _

 

_ Frank looked at his phone as the dial tone beeped into his ear and he sighed, locking it and chucking it beside him on the sofa when he brought his legs up against his chest, his toes curling slightly over the end of the cushion. _

 

That was where it all started, that was the moment Frank had now pinpointed where everything had gone downhill.

 

Frank didn’t want to cry, he wasn’t going to, something inside him hadn’t snapped yet, hadn’t broken him enough to cry yet again. He merely sat there, staring into space at the beige coloured wall ahead of him. It was as though it hasn’t sunken in yet. Even after the fight, the argument, the ways in which Frank tried to explain how he felt to Ryan. He could still remember Ryan’s face, the image burned into the back of his mind as they fought about something so juvenile as a job. Frank hadn’t even considered it properly before Ryan had gone and told. Or the way Ryan had acted about Frank’s new employer. Frank felt as though he was well within his rights to be livid- disappointed? But this was so much worse, things had spiralled way more than it ever had between them.

 

He could still see shards of porcelain from the vase that had almost hit him, a small crack in the wall where it had impacted beside his head. The entire house that had once been so happy and bright now seemed to hold it’s own dark and melancholy cloud above its roof.

 

Frank got up, looking around at everything. At every piece of his life that he and Ryan had started together. It wasn’t like he and Ryan had lived separately before moving in together from their own apartments. They both moved in together from their parents’ houses and bought everything together.

 

The sofa was bought together, the TV set, their bed, every photo frame, every candle and every pillow. Even the cups and plates.

 

Frank wanted none of it, he couldn’t bare the thought of having to look at any of it, or at the house.

 

He had to get away, he had to find someone to help him, someone who would understand, someone he could count on in times like this. And he knew exactly who he wanted. He reached over the back of the sofa and grabbed his phone, opening his contacts before scrolling right to where he wanted to be. 

 

He dialled Jamia’s number, pressing the phone to his ear as he prayed for her to answer, silently begging.

 

“Hey you.” she answered cheerily, making Frank flinch to himself and his bottom lip quiver.

 

“Mia- I…” Frank began, the tears suddenly caught in his eyes, surprising him, “I need somewhere to crash.”

 

“How come? Trouble in paradise?” She asked and Frank let out a whimper, nodding despite being alone in the house.

 

“Y- Yeah…” Frank sniffed, “Ry and I… We..”

 

“What is it, Poptart?” Jamia asked and Frank let out a small sob, sliding down the wall in the living room as the tears spilled over and down his cheeks.

 

“I ended it wi- with Ryan. Or- or he ended it with me. I- I don’t even know what happened. I said all the things but he left...” Frank managed over barely a whisper, being met with silence.

 

“Why, Poptart?” she eventually asked and Frank shook his head.

 

“I just… Please can I stay with you. L- Lost my job and a couple days ago, got a new one but I- don’t wanna stay here. I have no one else.”

 

“Of course.” Jamia said with a smile, “You come around whenever you want, Poptart. You know I’m home now on maternity leave.”

 

“Oh yeah.” Frank sniffed, remembering that his best friend was about to pop, “I’ll pack a bag and see you later.”

 

Frank sighed, instantly feeling guilty. He had completely forgotten that Jamia was pregnant for the moment. He could still remember when she had told him. A week before he had found out about the bun in her oven. It was just after his birthday when Jamia had phoned him in complete hysterics, making him freak out at work and drop three huge files he had meant to be working on all over the floor before he had spent God knows how long picking up and refiling.

 

He had shown up at her house, having begged for a half day, to find the front door wide open and to see her sitting at the kitchen table. She was sitting there, her face red and swollen and her eyes still puffy.

 

She hadn’t spoken for ages as Frank sat watching her stare off into the distance before she finally spoke, telling Frank that her boyfriend had left. Jimmy had been her boyfriend for a little over a year now and they had even talked about moving in together. But that had come to an end when Jamia had come home early from work to find her black fauxhawk-haired boyfriend in bed with her blonde-haired BFF Chantal.

 

She had told Frank how they had argued, how Jimmy had admitted he had been seeing Chantal for almost four months at the time.

 

Frank was furious, he was so angry that he was shaky, ready to lunge on the older guy when Jamia managed to calm Frank down, making sure to explain to him that if Frank went to jail for beating up Jimmy, that she would have no one to be there for her.

 

It worked.

 

For a week.

 

A week later was when Frank found out. He was busy rifling through her trash, looking for the bracelet that had slipped off of his wrist when he had thrown away the massive pizza box. He continued rifling, coming across the two positive tests. 

 

He pushed it aside as he found the bracelet he was looking for, a gift from Ryan for his birthday made out of leather with a steel engraved pumpkin on the front.

 

He went over to Jamia, who was stirring her hot chocolate and held out his hand, the test in his palm. She looked down at it and up at him, her bottom lip quivering as tears welled up in her brown eyes. She jumped him, pulling him into a bone-crushing hug as she sobbed, knocking the test out of his hand, sending it skittering across the floor. Frank stood there, hugging and holding her, consoling her as she cried- not quite registering.

 

Frank had yet again felt fury rising up in his chest at the thought that Jimmy had left her in this state, but he had found out that Jimmy didn’t even know. Jamia had gone to tell him when she had found him in bed with Chantal and she had decided not to rain on his parade even more. And that made Frank even more upset, that Jamia wouldn’t want to tell Jimmy, wouldn’t want to make his living child a burden in his frivolity.

 

Frank wanted to kill him, he had never felt so much hatred for one person before. And he had persuaded Jamia to tell Jimmy.

 

She did.

 

It did nothing, Jimmy wasn’t interested in the slightest, breaking Jamia into smaller and smaller pieces that Frank had spent the past seven months fixing back into place as best he could.

 

And now the tables had turned. It was Frank who was having the relationship crisis, Frank who was close to breaking, Frank who needed a hand and a shoulder. And a bed.

 

Frank pocketed his phone as he looked around, realising that the sun was already coming up and it was Thursday morning and he hadn’t slept a wink, there was no way he would be able to sleep now.

 

Or work.

 

Frank let out a groan at the thought of work and bit his lip, looking at the clock on the wall that was currently reading six-thirty. He pulled his phone out of his pocket again and began typing out a text for his new boss, biting on his lip.

 

He froze in his tracks, reading over his text before he cleared it all, sighing as he pressed dial and set his phone up to his ear, bringing his knees up to his chest.

 

“Frank, good morning.” Gerard answered almost immediately, sounding effectively awake.

 

“Hi, sir.” Frank tried to speak, his voice cracking embarrassingly, making him cringe hard as he withheld the urge to sigh, “Hope I didn’t interrupt.”

 

“Not at all, I just got home from a jog. How can I help you this fine morning?” Gerard asked with a heavy breath and Frank felt his body clench at the thought of telling Gerard what had happened.

 

“I- I don’t think I can make it into the office today,” Frank began, hearing his voice waver slightly and threaten to crack as he paused himself, tears blurring his vision, “I’m sorry- I know it’s bad to take off in the first month of working but I-”

 

“Are you alright, boy?” Gerard asked, sounding the taddest concerned, the sounded inflection in his voice had Frank wanting to cry even more.

 

“I-” He didn’t know how to answer considering the fact that he definitely wasn’t alright, but this was also his boss on the phone and Frank couldn’t decide between lying and honesty, “Y- Yeah.”

 

“Are you lying to me?” Gerard asked simply and Frank shuddered quietly as he fiddled with a loose strand at the bottom of his shirt.

 

“I’m having personal problems that I need to sort out today. I- I would come in if I could but…” He trailed off, unsure of how to tell Gerard that he most likely had to move out of his home of six years because his boyfriend had run out and he, Frank, had finally ended their relationship.

 

“Don’t worry. You aren’t productive at the office if you can’t concentrate on anything. Take today off and get yourself sorted. I’ll have Josh fill in for you- that’s what he’s there for in any case.”

 

“Th- Thank you, sir…” Frank’s voice wobbled at how considerate Gerard was being with him, “I really appreciate it.”

 

“Thank you for letting me know.” Gerard said simply and Frank nodded to himself, “I have to go. Take care of yourself, boy.”

 

“I will, sir.” Frank muttered as Gerard hung up, leaving him in silence again. Frank stared up at the ceiling before he carefully made his way up the stairs and into their bedroom.

 

Frank looked around the room, surveying, realising that he would never sleep in it again, never be in it again. Everything seeming so final now.

 

He reached into the top of the wardrobe and pulled out a suitcase, packing in literally anything he could. He folded up his pants and his shirts and whatever else he could into his one and only suitcase. He went for his underwear in a drawer and froze, staring at a small box that was sitting there hidden in his socks.

 

He had never seen it before and it certainly intrigued him as he slid a finger over the black velvet before opening it. He stared down at the simple platinum band in the box and felt every sinew in his body tense up as tears welled up.

 

It must have been Ryan’s, it must have been for their anniversary that was coming up, whether it was the real deal or just a token of affection, Frank didn’t know. Although he did know now that he was feeling sick.

 

He closed the box, setting it down on the top of the chest of drawers before he piled his socks and underwear into his suitcase. He stopped as the tears dissipated for the thousandth time and looked back behind him over his shoulder at the ring, frowning.

 

If it were a surprise for him from Ryan, what was it doing in his underwear drawer? Unless… Frank straightened up and looked at it, his mind running with possibilities. Ryan could have put it in the wrong drawer, Ryan could have gotten it for Frank to give to him as a hint or Ryan could have put it there before their argument as a guilt trip, a jab at Frank to add to the mush-fest that had awaited him at his office that Wednesday.

 

Either thought made Frank angrier than he was before and he threw the box across the room, sending it flying into the bathroom, hitting the side of the cabinet and skittering out of sight. He stuffed his shoes into the suitcase on top of his clothing with more violence than necessary.

 

He looked at what was left of his clothing that wouldn’t fit into his overstuffed suitcase and wandered back to the wardrobe, grabbing the old duffel bag he had used in highschool for his gym kit. He set it on the bed and shoved whatever else he could into the bag, filling every single crevice before zipping it shut with some difficulty. He lay his new suit and the other empty garment bag on top of his bag- having not even had the energy to change from his work clothes- yet, scowling in annoyance at them before he lay a hand on one of them, feeling an instant shade of guilt over his stomach.

 

He looked around as he took of his bracelet from Ryan and chucked it on the bed, sliding on his watch that had sat on his bedside table. Frank grabbed his laptop bag and checked everything in it before setting it with his stuff, putting his phone charger in the front pocket. He stared at the photo of he and Ryan in high school, looking at the giddy faces of the two younger boys. 

 

He looked at Ryan with his straightened brown hair and thick black eyeliner and he looked at himself with his hideous orange mohawk and he looked away, grabbing the photo in his hands before he threw it with every last bit of his energy before he sunk to the floor in a flurry of sobs, sliding off of the bed that he completely missed, landing on his ass with his legs splayed and bent awkwardly.

 

The tears ran in floods down his cheeks, burning his already tear-stained cheeks and soaking into his black shirt. He whimpered brokenly as his head lolled back on his shoulders, resting on the bed as he cried, his heart aching and seemingly in a thousand pieces in his chest.

 

~

 

“Oh my god, you look like shit.” Jamia waddled out of her house, her stomach protruding a lot more than Frank had remembered. He looked at her in her comfy maternity leggings and a pink polka dot tunic-like top that matched the perennial blush to her cheeks. Frank sniffed, smiling weakly as he cradled her face in his hands before hugging her as tightly as he deemed suitable- and as tightly as he could with such a big preggo-belly between them.

 

“That’s funny, because I feel like hell.” Frank commented, his voice rough and raw from his pathetic cry-fest earlier.

 

“Come on, let’s go inside.” She tried to grab one of Frank’s bags when he swatted her hand away with a scowl, “Oh c’mon, I’m pregnant, not disabled. Let me help.”

 

“They’re heavy.” 

 

“So is this kid.” She scoffed, “Now give.”

 

Frank looked at her insistent face with a sigh, “I don’t want you to get hurt carrying my underwear or something.”   
  


“Give me the damn bag.” She scowled, taking a bag from him with a huff as she turned and walked back to her house. Frank grabbed his suitcase and his duffel before he closed the car door with his hip.

 

Frank walked into the house with a huff, setting his bags down where Jamia had set his other bag in the front hallway. He looked around, realising that in the few months that he hadn’t seen her, the house hadn’t changed at all. There was still a homely feel to everything, there were still dog-related knick-knacks and paintings everywhere and a lot of things were different shades of purple- her favourite colour.

 

“How are you, Poptart?” She asked as she carefully lowered herself down onto the sofa, patting a spot next to her.

 

“Yeah…” Frank muttered softly as he sat beside her, kicking his shoes off carefully, stretching his toes, “I’ve been better.”

 

“What’s happened?” She frowned, tucking a piece of straightened black hair behind her ear as Frank scooted around and lay his head down on her lap, looking up at her for a moment before he closed his eyes.

 

“Ryan and I- We- We broke…” His voice cracked heavily at the end, cutting off his sentence as he felt his eyes sting.

 

“Why? I thought you guys would be together forever.” Jamia sounded genuinely concerned as Frank flinched.

 

“He- He went off the deep end, Mia.” Frank’s breath came out wobbly, “He got me fired from my job at the paper because he told his parents I got a job opportunity.”

 

“With?”

 

“Working as Congressman Way’s assistant.” Frank blushed slightly, “Which I accepted.”

 

“So you work for that ginger hunk of a greek god?” Jamia asked and Frank nodded, trying not to smile at her choice of words, “You lucky bitch.”

 

“He’s…” Frank opened his eyes, “Eccentric.”

 

“And gorgeous.” She sighed.

 

“And married.” Frank snorted, “Happily.”

 

“Bummer.” She scoffed, “So what happened, he got you fired from the paper and then?”

 

“Then he just… He got so paranoid that there was something going on with Gerard and I, he fucking showed up at my office yesterday to check him out and decorated my desk with the soppiest of shit. I just- It was so embarrassing and Gerard saw right through it.”

 

“That doesn’t sound like Ryan.” She frowned, “What in the fuck?”

 

“I know…” Frank trailed off, the tears filling his eyes yet again, blurring his vision completely, “and he was insistent that Gerard and I were fucking on the side just because Gerard bought me two suits for work.”

 

“Why did he buy you two suits?”

 

“Because I didn’t have anything and I kept showing up in Ryan’s clothing. It was…”

 

“I can imagine.” She giggled, “But I mean… The man bought you clothes, does that automatically mean you get to rail him?”

 

“Not at all.” Frank snorted, “That’s what I was saying. But it doesn’t matter how many times I denied it, Ryan wouldn’t believe me. And- And…” Frank felt the tears run down from his eyes and into his hair, “We had a fight and…”

 

“He left?” Jamia asked and Frank merely nodded, letting out a sob as he curled up on his side, his face pressed against her stomach, “Frankie…”

 

“I- I’m sorry.” He cried brokenly, curling up even tighter as his chest ached.

 

“If- If you cry then… Then I’m gonna cry and…” Jamia’s voice wobbled, “You can’t cry in front of a pregnant woman.”

 

“Shit I-” Frank wiped his eyes, sniffing slightly, “Sorry.” He looked at Jamia to see the tars on her eyes and he couldn’t help but smile at her, “Sorry, Mia.”

 

“Ass.” She smiled back.

 

“So this is single life…” Frank sighed as he sat up, resting his hand on the couch to keep himself up.

 

“Unfortunately…” She rolled her eyes, “Welcome.”

 

“Well I guess my sex life is drying out for now,” He bit his lip, “Although it feels pretty much the same as when I was with Ryan, to be honest.”

 

“It couldn’t have been that bad.” Jamia snorted and Frank eyed her, his face all but dripping with sarcasm, “What?”

 

“Mia… You don’t understand how bad it got. We would only have sex on Tuesday and only on my side of the bed and only missionary. I tried to mix it up and I ended up sleeping on the sofa that night.”

 

“At least you… I mean-” she stopped, “Is that all sex or just full anal?”

 

“I got my first blowjob out of him after a year on Sunday.” Frank offered and Jamia’s eyebrows raised in surprise.

 

“A year?”

 

“A year.” Frank nodded, “Three hundred and sixty fucking five.”

 

“Christ… What crawled in his ass and died?” Jamia rolled her eyes.

 

“Certainly wasn’t me. Unless it’s Tuesday.” Frank mocked.

 

“You’re not alone.” She added, “I’m seven months pregnant and I haven’t had sex since I found out.”

 

“Oh my god.” Frank whispered, “You poor girl.”

 

“Yeah, feel sympathy for me, Poptart.”

 

“It’ll be seven months or so for me until I get laid again.” He sighed, “Maybe I should invest in a hooker.”

 

“Or a dildo.” She snickered and Frank raised an eyebrow at the idea, pondering on it as he lay his head on her shoulder, “Whatever you fancy.”

 

“Y’know…” Frank trailed off, “If I weren’t a complete and utter homo, I’d totally be into you.”

 

“You don’t mean that.” She snorted.

 

“I do.” Frank nodded, “You’re adorable but y’know…”

 

“I don’t have a penis.” Jamia nodded knowingly, “So unfortunate.”

 

“Still love you.” He leaned in, giving her a chaste kiss to the lips before he pulled away, “Despite the hemorrhoids.”

 

“Oh, way to ruin the moment.” She scoffed as he kissed her cheek.

 

“I’m the king of ruining moments.”


	20. Chapter 19: But it Really Does Look Like Anal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realised what chapter this is and I really had so much fun writing this. Part of the chapter was pretty much brought to you by Young and Menace by Fall Out Boy. I hope you enjoy. 
> 
> Any errors, apologies, but we think we got them all :)

As depressing as it seemed, Frank felt much better right now. He was still down, that was completely expected after what he had gone and done. After ending his six and a bit year long relationship with Ryan, Frank felt somewhat numb. He had gotten most of his crying done last night. Not that he hadn’t cried today. That he had. He had cried with Jamia. He had had a moment when he began the process of packing up his possessions. Getting his clothes into his suitcase. Packing up anything that was his, including a good portion of the shelves full of dvds. Anything that was his, he took. Anything that they had bought together for the house, it stayed. Frank didn’t want any of that. He didn’t want a reminder of what he had gone and done.

 

Frank was relieved that it was over. He wondered if now that a day had passed since he had told Ryan that it was over, he would feel any sort of regret towards his decision. Had he made the wrong choice? Leaving Ryan. Six years was a long time to be in a relationship with someone. A long time that he knew he wouldn’t get back. Frank waited, checking himself every now and again because what if he did start to regret? What if he did start to think that they could sort it out and Ryan could take him back?  
  
Frank didn’t want that though. The idea of being with a person that didn’t trust him or believe him when nothing was going on. The whole bullshit Ryan had gone and concocted in his head about his own boss. That stuff had Frank stunned, not being able to work out how Ryan could have even gotten to the point that he thought Frank was having sex with Gerard.

 

Maybe the suits had pushed Ryan towards that conclusion, but he had totally got the wrong end of the stick. There was nothing off about the fact that his boss had gone and bought him the suits. It was just a kind gesture. He had done him a favour. A massive favour in fact, seeing as now Frank didn’t have his own personal dresser. Not that Ryan's clothing choice had been the best. Him and his fashion sense had been the whole reason why Gerard bought him the two suits in the first place.

 

The suits that Frank had hold of on hangers, opening up the wardrobe in Jamias spare bedroom. He hung them up, sighing, wondering if they had been the start of this whole mess. They hadn’t, but they had definitely been a possible catalyst for all of this. Ryan had been the start from the moment that he got so insistent about his routines, it was just that Frank got used to it. Hell, if Ryan had been so sure that Gerard was grooming him, Frank could’ve said the same thing about Ryan. Attempting to train him and get him used to what he wanted. Less sex. Regimented sex when it was actually on the cards. The same routines day in day out. Frank just didn’t fall into it. He couldn’t be constrained like that. That had been the main problem. It just all came to a head so quickly. He had had enough, finally had more than enough.

 

“You okay there, Poptart?” Jamia asked, catching Frank by surprise. She was stood in the doorway of his new bedroom, arms folded across her chest, over her bump, watching him try to move his suitcase from where he had set it down after he had lugged it upstairs, “Wanna hand?”

 

“I’m good.” Frank reassured her with a huff, moving his suitcase of clothes closer to the dresser, unzipping it to begin unpacking. Begin this new life that he had where he was crashing at his best friends place for god knows how long. It wasn’t like he could go back to where he had had a home for so many years. That wasn’t even an option since he had moved out. He didn’t even know if Ryan was going to go back to living there. Not that he cared. All Frank cared about right now was the fact that he was moving on and the pain in his chest was somewhat numb now. He felt okay. Not completely okay. No person who is on the other side of a break up is ever okay, but Frank felt like he was going to do okay eventually. One day it was going to stop hurting.  

 

“You sure?” Jamia asked again, stepping into the bedroom to join Frank, “You look like you could do with a hand. I don’t mind helping. This whole nesting shit does have its benefits.”

 

“Honestly-” Frank started, wanting Jamia to just chill and rest because she didn’t need to help him while she was on her maternity leave. He had this, but she was a persistent person who wouldn’t take no for an answer. More than happy to help as she bent down, grabbing some of his shirts before opening a drawer to put them in, “Fine. I guess the help would be nice.”

 

“You don’t have to be like this you know,” Jamia chuckled softly at him, placing his shirts in the drawer before going to get some more out of the suitcase, “I offered to help you, and I’m not just talking about unpacking. I’m actually happy that you are here.”

 

“Really?” Frank raised an eyebrow at Jamia, not knowing what she meant.

 

“It’s nice to have some company in this house again,” She explained, refolding one of Frank shirts because it was clear that he had just stuffed it into the suitcase as quickly as possible, “It’s been kinda lonely.”

 

“Well I’m grateful that you took me in, honestly.” Frank smiled at her, taking the shirt she was folding out of her hands, not wanting her to worry too much about him.

 

Frank went to say something else to her about how grateful he was that she had taken him in, but he spotted something as Jamia started to pack more of his clothes into the chest of drawers. Jamia had something on her wrist which caught Frank's eye, making him stop her, taking hold of her wrist to have a closer inspection.

 

“You got a tattoo?” Frank asked, sounding surprised. It was true. She had. The small tattoo resided on her wrist. Cursive lettering sat right across her wrist which took Frank by surprise. Proud surprise because she knew what he was like when it came to tattoos and body modifications. He just never took her as the kind of person who would be impulsive enough to ink herself up.

 

“Yeah, a few weeks before I found out I was pregnant, just after she died,” Jamia nodded, pulling her wrist free from Franks hand, “Didn’t I tell you about it?”  
  
“No,” Frank answered, still sounding surprised while he tried to take hold of her wrist again to see it properly, “Come on Mia, let me have a proper look,” Which he did, noticing the name _Ana_ adorning her skin, “Ah I’m so proud of you. You finally got your first tattoo. Is this the kind of pride that irresponsible parents feel when their daughter comes home with their first tramp stamp?”   
  
“It’s not a tramp stamp,” Jamia pouted, trying to free her wrist from Franks grip, but he was hanging on, really looking at it while he smiled, “Look, it’s my grandmothers name. I got it in memory of her.”

 

“That’s sweet.” Frank said flatly because as much as he could see that the tattoo did in fact say Ana, the way that the lettering was done and the way that the last A looped off into a little heart which wasn’t coloured, it really did look like it spelt out something else. Something that Frank knew he was far more interested in than Jamia was.

 

“Don’t you like it?” Jamia asked nervously, noticing how Frank sounded a little off just then. She loved it. She thought it was such a nice thing to do for her grandmother who she missed dearly. She couldn’t understand why Frank didn’t like it. This being the same person who had more ink than she would ever consider getting herself, “I know some people are so against name tattoos but, it’s not like its just some dude's name…”

 

“Yeah no, it looks good,” Frank reassured her with a smile, “It’s just…”  
  
“What?” Jamia pushed, wanting to know why Frank was being like this, “Is there something wrong with it?”

 

“No, I’m sure it’s nothing,” Frank shook his head, not wanting to worry Jamia. Not wanting to really say anything about the fact that it looked like she had anal tattooed on her wrist. But he had to say something. He had to tell her before some stranger possibly spotted it and asked her why she had anal written across her wrist, “It’s just...it looks like you have had anal tattooed onto you.”

 

“What?” Jamia gasped, pulling her hand free from Frank's, looking at her wrist closely. She frowned, screwing up her nose, “No it doesn’t! It says Ana!”

 

“Mia, I love you, but whoever did you tattoo, they must’ve been having a really shit day because the way the second A curves around, the little flick to do the heart, it really makes it look like anal,” Frank chuckled, unable to stop himself because yes, as much as the tattoo was a lovely gesture to Jamia’s grandmother, he just couldn’t help but see anal and find that absolutely hilarious that it really did look like that.

 

Jamia did want to admit either than now he had pointed it out, she could see it. She didn’t want to see it though so she lied, telling herself that her tattoo still looked amazing and it was nothing more than a kind gesture, “It doesn’t say anal…”  
  
“I know that this is the most amazing grand gesture you could have done for your grandma...but it really does look like anal.”

 

“Frank shut up.” Jamia snapped at him, hating how he had a smirk on his face.

 

“Anyone who sees that now might think that you like getting butt-rammed.” Frank laughed, unable to stop himself from saying that. This shit was just too good to not say. Jamia continued to pout, not cross at Frank. She would never be cross at him, but now she really wondered if it was worth getting something to cover up her wrist while she stormed out of the bedroom, leaving Frank smirking, wondering if she could go back to the guy who had tattooed her, telling him that he had made a big fucking mistake that she wanted fixed now.

 

After all of that, Frank finished sorting through his clothes alone, having put them most of them away. He was grateful that Jamia had helped, but doing the rest of it himself, he felt a little proud of himself for actually taking this step. He took a second to look. Look around at where he was and how this was his new life now. Shacking up with his pregnant best friend. As much as he was proud, he honestly didn’t know what he was going to do now. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to stay here forever, but at least it was a start and at least Frank knew that Jamia would give him time to figure out what he was going to do with himself. He had time on his side. Maybe not much because eventually there would be a baby in the house too. Screaming and crying and pooping and generally keeping him up at night. He didn’t mind though. If anything, he would be happier with that than spending any longer with Ryan. This was the better option and god, even though he knew that this was for the best, he still couldn’t help but wonder. Would he really have gone all the way with Ryan? Would he have done what Ryan wanted him to do? Proposing to him, being his husband for as long as they both shall live?  
  
Highly unlikely, even if they were still together. That kind of commitment terrified Frank and the idea of being with someone like Ryan forever, Frank probably would have blown his brains out over the lack of sex and all things regimented. There was no way in hell he would have been able to put up with that until they were old and grey together. No way. This was for the best and Frank knew it, no matter how much it sucked right now.

 

Frank sighed, taking another moment to realise that he felt very alone right now. For the first time in over six years, he actually felt really alone. Yes, there had been moments when he was with Ryan and he felt the same thing, usually when Ryan refused sex for the umpteenth time in x amount of weeks, but that was different. That was like a form of rejection, like he wasn’t good enough, even though Ryan would always kiss him and tell him that he loved him.

 

This however, this was the feeling of coming out of a relationship to realise that you have no one to kiss you and tell you that you are loved. The feeling of joining the other singletons in the world. Everyone who was probably feeling the same in some way. That same feeling of loneliness and the same need for someone to call yours. Not that Frank was at that point already. He was nowhere near that because it was only Thursday. It had barely been twenty four hours since he told Ryan that he was leaving him. So little time but yet it felt like so much time had passed since then. Like the break up had happened weeks ago but Frank was still feeling down about it and bad about it and still sad enough that he needed company to tell him that he was going to get through this. Everything was going to be okay in the end.

 

Frank wondered if Jamia would want to keep him company. It wasn’t too late, only just gone nine pm. The pair had been chatting away earlier, talking on the sofa whilst Jamia turned on the tv in an attempt to give Frank some distraction from what he had just gone through. It hadn’t really worked because they still talked about it. Talked until Jamia started to doze on the sofa. Frank left her to it then, taking the opportunity to properly move in. He didn’t exactly want to be living out of boxes and bags for the next god knows how long. Jamia had told him that he could have her spare room so he at least wanted to feel like he was welcome here, just like Jamia had said.

 

He had started that task an hour ago, now finished. He considered going downstairs to see if Jamia was awake again, but if she wasn’t then he didn’t want to disturb her. There was no harm in checking at least, so Frank left his new bedroom, walking down the stairs to find Jamia exactly where he had left her. She had moved, laying down the sofa with the tv still on. Sleeping so peacefully. She had one hand on her protruding stomach, snoring softly which made Frank chuckle. He turned the tv off, thinking that he should probably call it a night himself if she was going to stay asleep. Frank grabbed the blanket from the back of the sofa, laying it over Jamia to keep her warm. Sighing contently, Jamia didn’t wake. She shifted, trying to find a comfy position. Frank left her to it then, smiling at her. Feeling so lucky to have a friend like her. A friend who had taken him in and was happy to help him back onto his feet, no matter how long it took.

 

Frank went to walk quietly out of the front room, walking softly across the carpet towards the stairs. Everything was going fine and he was so close to the stairs when all of a sudden his phone which was in his jeans pocket buzzed. Vibrating until it started to sound out, the ringtone making Frank hiss. He didn’t want to wake Jamia up with his overly annoying ringtone. The shrill jingle ringing out until Frank silenced it when he ripped the device from his jeans, going to see who was calling him now.

 

If it was Ryan then there was no way in hell he was going to answer. He could just go to voicemail and whatever he had to say would stay there until his phone deleted his words automatically.

 

It wasn’t Ryan though. It was Gerard and honestly, Frank knew that he should have contacted him earlier. At least let him know what was going on with tomorrow. Frank had been so grateful that Gerard had given him the day off so he could move out of his ex's house, but now, well, Frank couldn’t ignore his own boss when he was calling him, waiting for him to pick up the phone.

 

“Sir, hi,” Frank answered quickly and quietly, making his way up the stairs so he could actually talk to his boss properly without waking up Jamia, “I’m so sorry. I was going to call you but I got a little sidetracked.”

 

“Am I interrupting you at the moment?” Gerard asked, noticing how Frank was talking quietly on the phone. Quieter than usual at least, “Is now a bad time?”  
  
“No no,” Frank told him, getting to his room before pushing the door to. He could talk normally now. Sitting down on the bed, Frank continued, “Now is a good time.”   
  
“Good,” Gerard spoke, making Frank cringe because there was a part of him that remembered what Ryan had said to him. He remembered the accusation that had been thrown at him and really, how could Ryan have been so stupid to even think that they were having sex. Yes, Gerard may have been the kind of person who was attractive in person and when he was talking on the phone, but there had honestly been nothing going on and right now, Frank felt somewhat awkward, listening to his boss talking after what Ryan had assumed, “I just wanted to double check if you are going to be able to work tomorrow. I know you said you were having personal problems, so I just need to know if I’m going to have you or if I’m going to need to keep Josh as back up.”

 

“No, you’ve got me tomorrow,” Frank told Gerard down the phone. As much as the day off had been good for him because he had been able to move into Jamia's with ease, he found himself overthinking what he had done and what he was going to do in the future. He lacked any sort of distraction and to be perfectly honest, getting back into a routine would probably be good for him. The perfect distraction because he had to stay focussed. he couldn’t wallow away at his desk, wondering what would have been while his phone was ringing off the hook. Unless he wanted to make Gerard cross, which he didn’t, so getting back to work, Frank was more than up for that, “I got everything sorted out today so I will be in at eight like usual tomorrow.”

 

“Are you sure?” Gerard queried, “If you come in tomorrow, I need you working. I need you focussed and I don’t want to have to keep getting you to stay focussed. If you need another day then you can take it. I would rather that than have to send you home.”

 

The idea of Gerard sending him home if he wasn’t focussed seemed somewhat unnerving. If he was to be sent home then it would be obvious that Gerard was annoyed with him. Probably even cross at him and how he had been. Frank didn’t want to anger his boss, especially seeing as he had already taken a day off in his first week of working for Way. Frank knew that he would be focused though. He wouldn’t be distracted and there was no way that Gerard would be cross at him tomorrow.

 

“Honestly sir, I think coming back to work will help me a lot,” Frank reassured his boss over the phone, “I promise I won’t lose focus. I will work. I can assure you that I don’t need another day off.”

 

Okay then,” Gerard sounded convinced, “So I will see you bright and early tomorrow then boy, yes?” He asked, causing Frank to nod even though Gerard couldn’t see him over the phone.

 

“Eight o'clock,” Frank spoke, “Usual time.”

 

“Well you better get your rest in then,” Gerard told Frank. He frowned, looking at the small clock that was set up on the bedside drawers. It had not long since turned nine. It really wasn’t that late. Frank had stayed up later and still got into work on time this week. Something about the way Gerard spoke to him though, it wasn’t so much an order, but something that made Frank tense up involuntarily. A natural reaction that he couldn’t explain, “I need you on the ball tomorrow, not half asleep at your desk.”  
  
“Yes sir,” Frank agreed, looking towards the chest of drawers while he was on the phone, wondering where he had gone and put his pyjamas. God knows where, he hadn’t exactly been paying attention while he put his clothes into their new home for the time being, “I’ll see you in the morning.”   
  
The call ended and Frank sighed, tossing his phone down onto the bed before he too collapsed down onto the bed. Running his hands over his face, Frank had to admit, after Gerard had brought up the fact that he needed to sleep, he did all of a sudden feel tired. Like Gerard had affected him on a subliminal level. As much as Frank was one for staying up, right now, he knew what he had to do. He knew that he had to sleep because he was back to work tomorrow and he really didn’t want to make Gerard cross. He had to be on top tomorrow and even he felt bad when he considered staying up for a little bit longer.

 

He had to sleep, that was a definite when Frank picked himself up, padding over to the drawers, rifling through until he found a t shirt to wear. Throwing off his jeans and changing his shirt, Frank climbed into bed after switching off the light, still in boxers, still trying not to think about what had happened. Going to sleep on that wouldn’t bode well for a good night's sleep. A clear mind was what he needed to keep. Stay focussed. Frank was going back to work tomorrow and there was no way in hell he was going to piss off his boss on his fifth day on the job. Ryan wasn’t going to fuck it up for him again at work. He had this as Frank started to doze, wrapped up under the duvet, trying to keep his mind off the one thing that was going to bring him down.

 

Frank was never really a big dreamer when it came down to it. If anything, Frank rarely had any recollection of his dreams when he woke up in the morning. Maybe he hadn't had any, or maybe he was just the kind of person who would forget about his subconscious imagination the moment he woke up to the sound of his alarm. Maybe the noise scared it all away, the shrill sound forcing him to get up because it was yet another day and yet again he had to go to work. For once though, something stuck. Something clung on in his head. The vision feeling so real. So unbelievable because Frank knew his own head and he knew that he wasn’t one to have or even remember dreams. But something, there had to be something that had triggered this. Deep seated. There was no other explanation for it as he slept.

 

_Frank found himself stood in the kitchen of Ryan's place. His old home. Confused, Frank looked around, seeing that the place was pristine as it usually was. The whole place had the usual Ryan cleanliness all over it. Something was off though. Something felt different and completely out of the ordinary. Something that Frank couldn’t put his finger on. He didn’t want to be dreaming about his ex’s house, but there was something that had drawn him to this._

 

_Frank walked out of the kitchen, through into the front room. He examined the place, hoping that he wasn’t going to see Ryan popping out of somewhere. Appearing out of nowhere to turn this dream into a nightmare. The good thing was he was nowhere to be seen. As Frank got into the centre of the room, coming to a stop by the sofa, he swore that the house was empty. Like Ryan had gone out and Frank had just popped in to visit. A close inspection of what he had left behind. The house was immaculate, just as Frank expected. The vase that had been smashed was somehow miraculously fixed, back where it lived on the bookshelf in the corner of the room. The bowl of potpourri wasn’t scattered halfway across the carpet either. That was back where it belonged, in the bowl in the centre of the coffee table. The whole place had a lived in vibe about it, but it wasn’t Frank's doing. There was definitely something off about the place. Something different that was making him move. He couldn’t put a finger on it. Frank wanted to and there was definitely a force that was drawing him through the house, ignoring everything else that had the essence of Ryan dripping from every part of the place._

 

_Walking towards the stairs, Frank felt like he was floating. Not even one with his old house anymore. More of what used to be, even though there was definitely a new feeling to the place. So unusual. So off but in the most curious way imaginable as Frank put a hand on the rail, setting one foot onto the stairs. Taking each step at a time, he looked up to the second floor, hoping that he wasn’t going to find Ryan. It didn’t feel like he was going to though. It felt different. More and more welcoming the further he climbed up the stairs, drawing him in. Making curiosity spike in him like mercury rising in a thermometer._

 

_At the top of the stairs, the hallway seemed to expand out unnaturally. Walking down it towards the one room that was drawing Frank in like a moth to a flame, it just seemed to go on forever, even though it was only a few steps that he had to take. The few steps which brought him up to the pushed closed bedroom door. Something felt different as Frank stood on the other side of the bedroom door. Calming yet unnerving, like nothing he had experienced before. There was definitely something that was stopping him while he held the door handle, but a big part of him was overriding that nervousness. The fear of what was on the other side was washed away by a force that he didn’t know. Didn’t understand. He wanted to though. He wanted to know and he wanted to get why he was being pulled in like a magnet. Such a strong force had him twisting the door handle, pushing the door open cautiously to find out why in the world he had been brought here in his dream. Why he had been dropped right back into the one place that he knew he would never set foot into again._

 

_There was no Ryan. Frank felt that relief wash over him when he saw the bedroom in the same state that his ex would always leave it in. The immaculate room with the made bed and the tidy wardrobes and the chest of drawers with everything lined up on it so neatly. Nothing had changed there. This was still the room that Frank remembered far too well. It was just that he wasn’t expecting what he saw in the corner of the room. Who he saw in the corner of the room. Totally confused, Frank looked at the person, his boss, Gerard. Why in the world was he here? Why, out of all the people Frank assumed would be in the house, he was the one stood in the corner. Hands by his sides, looking exactly like Frank remembered him from work the other day in the dark blue suit._

 

_“Sir?” Frank spoke, his voice sounding like it was coming from somewhere that wasn’t in him. Words echoing around the room in utter confusion. There was no explanation as to why his boss was standing in his ex’s bedroom, looking at him like he had something to say but the words weren’t leaving him. Frank took a step closer, frowning, trying to figure out why his employer was currently looking at him in the way that he was. The way that made Frank's stomach churn and twist. A knot that felt so familiar but so alien all at once. Such a good feeling. It was definitely something that Frank hadn’t experienced for a long time, “Wh-what are you doing here?”_

 

_“I wanted to see you.” Was all that Gerard said. Sounding somewhat different, Frank couldn’t figure it out. For someone who seemed so confident and powerful in the workplace, he sounded nervous. So unlike him. This new side of Gerard had Frank more curious than he had been when he was walking up the stairs. The five words ringing in his head. He wanted to see him. Why? Why in his ex’s house? Why did he want to see Frank when he probably had much better people in his life that he wanted to see?_   
_  
It was him that he wanted to see and that made Frank swallow, butterflies erupting in his stomach, making him feel something that probably shouldn’t have been felt when your boss is looking at you in a certain way. A way that Frank swore he had seen before, he just couldn’t remember if he actually had or not._

_“Why did you want to see me sir?” Frank asked nervously. It felt like it should have been obvious why he was here, but Frank didn't have a clue why his boss was currently standing in the corner of his ex’s bedroom. It seemed so random. There was no need for him to be in Ryan's bedroom, but here he was, taking a step closer to Frank. Eyes still trained on him, he swore that his stomach was doing somersaults as Gerard approached him slowly._

 

_“I wanted to see you.” Gerard repeated again. His words were firm but held such an air of purity. So unlike him, but it made Frank's feet fuse to the floor. The innocence grounding him down, making him watch his employer coming to a stop in front of him, “Do you want to know something boy?”_

 

_“What's that?” Frank questioned, unsure of if he actually wanted to know what Gerard knew. He was standing right in front of him now. Being a little taller, not much taller, Frank felt somewhat intimidating over the fact that his boss was standing so close to him. Yes they had been close at work, but this was different and this was new and this had Frank trying to break eye contact with Gerard. Looking down for a second. He just couldn’t stop himself as he looked back at Gerard, wondering what he was going to be told._

 

_“Ryan could have been right about us you know.” Was all Gerard said to Frank. He frowned, not getting what he meant for a second. Ryan could have been right about what? Ryan liked to believe that he was right about most things, but the penny hadn’t dropped for Frank yet. He just continued to frown at Gerard, not knowing what he was going on about._

 

_Frank couldn’t take his eyes away from Gerard when he moved. His hand came up to his shirt, up to his tie before he slid a finger into the knot, unfastening the tie from around his neck. Pulling it free from his collar, Gerard let the material drop to the floor. Frank broke eye contact then because the penny was dropping but at a slow rate. Gerard couldn’t have been going on about what Ryan had assumed was going on between them, could he? Frank hadn’t said anything to Gerard about the accusation, not wanting to cause a rift between himself and his newly appointed boss. He couldn’t have known anything, but it was like he was a mind reader, knowing that Frank was catching up with him, knowing what he was talking about as Frank looked down at the tie by Gerard's shoe, not looking up._

 

_“He could have been right,” Gerard repeated, making Frank look up at him while he spoke, watching him shrug his blazer off his shoulders, letting the jacket fall to the floor which really, Frank honestly couldn’t see Gerard doing. The man who lived in extraordinary expensive suits and who was dressed immaculately all the time, letting his jacket fall to the floor so carelessly, it just didn’t seem like Gerard, even though Franks attention was taken from that when he continued, “You could have denied it and if he believed you then he wouldn’t have known. He would have been none the wiser.”_   
_  
Was Gerard really suggesting that the two of them could have had sex? Frank wanted to say something about how this was so unlike him. Ask him if he was feeling okay. Ask him why he was in his ex’s bedroom of all places. Words failed Frank though. His mouth went dry when Gerard moved his hands back to his shirt, fingers unbuttoning the buttons on his shirt. Frank blushed, averting his eyes. His insides were knotting up because yes, his boss was attractive and yes, maybe something had been going on inside Frank's head ever since he had first laid eyes on the man that was standing in front of him, but this was different and this was something that he never would have expected. Gerard Way, his boss, a congressman, was standing in front of him, pulling his shirt untucked from his pants, undoing the last buttons before letting the material fall from his frame._

_“What is going on…” Frank muttered to himself, his voice finally feeling like it was inside of him. More a voice in his head. He was confused but he wasn’t. Blushing, Frank didn’t know where to look. It felt safer to look down at his own feet. Keep his eyes away from Gerard. If he looked up then he didn’t know how he was going to be. This couldn’t have been real. This had to be a dream. This had to be some sort of unexplainable thing that Frank's head was doing to himself while he was sleeping. That was if he was sleeping. He had to be if Gerard was standing in his old house, standing in his old bedroom, partially undressed and suggesting that there could have been more._

 

_“You don’t know what is going on?” Gerard smirked, watching Frank, “I thought I was being more than obvious.”_   
_  
Frank finally looked up. He fought with himself internally, knowing that he should keep his eyes down, it was just that he couldn’t help himself. He could feel himself looking up. No longer looking at his feet, trying not to pay attention to the other set of feet that was near his, so close to his. Frank looked up and in an instant, his mind went quiet. All the questions about right now that had been going through his brain suddenly disappeared. His mind went quiet, chaos turned to clarity and all of a sudden, it didn’t feel weird. It didn’t feel awkward. It just felt like Gerard was stood in front of him, so close to him. Not as his boss. Not as some powerful man that Frank shouldn’t have even thought about in any other way than what he knew. Like Alice who had been given the bottle that had been labelled ‘drink me’ so she could get into the garden, Frank found himself being given something, someone that might as well have been labelled ‘look at me’. He wondered if he had found his garden. Was this what he had been looking for?_

_Franks heart raced in his chest as the sight of Gerard in front of him. Bare-chested, virginal, untouched as a blush blossomed on Gerard's cheeks. Frank couldn’t help himself. He couldn’t bring himself to look away as eyes roamed over porcelain skin. So exposed yet still so concealed. Frank was itching to reach out and touch, place a hand on Gerard and feel warmth under his fingertips. Feel something that felt so taboo. So wrong because Gerard was his boss. Older, more wiser. He should have known not to be like this with an employee, but he was still stood in front of him, looking at him, watching Frank watch him. Seeing the way Frank was internally fighting with himself because in all honesty, Gerard was irresistible. How could this be so wrong when Gerard was practically giving himself to Frank. How could this be so wrong when there was clearly something between them. If Gerard wanted Frank then why should he have been fighting with himself over this? Frank knew how he felt as he looked Gerard in the eyes, seeing the way he was looking back at him. Definitely something between them when Frank looked a little bit lower, looking at Gerard's mouth, wondering what it would be like, feel like if they did just kiss._

 

_“Do you not want me?” Gerard asked curiously, cocking his head slightly to the side, watching how Frank was blushing. Just standing there, looking all over the exposed skin in front of him. What Gerard had asked, that should have been an easy question to answer. It wasn’t like Frank was still with Ryan. He was single so he could do whatever he wanted to do now. A free man who could fall for whoever he wanted to. But falling for his boss, that seemed like a risky thing to let happen. Frank knew how he felt. The way his heart was racing and the way he was still wondering if it would be okay to just reach out and touch Gerard to make sure that he was real, he just knew that he wasn’t going to say no to him. How could Frank say no when a gorgeous man was standing in front of him? How could he say no when all he wanted to do was break the distance between them and feel Gerard pressed up against him? How could he say no when his mind was already racing, imagining what it would be like if the two of them ended up together. In bed together. Having sex. Frank knew he was in deep when he could already picture himself being with Gerard. In so deep when he realised that there was physical attraction for Gerard deep inside of him, wanting to let itself out. Let it be known that he, Frank Iero, was falling for Gerard Way._

 

_Frank nodded. He nodded before he could even process if it was a good idea to let it be known that he actually did want Gerard. He wanted him more than anything he had ever been offered before. It was like he had been given a gift from the gods. Such an offering that he wanted to accept. Have all to himself. Gerard was all for him and there was no way in hell he was going to turn him down. Only a madman would turn down someone that attractive. Someone who was giving themselves to Frank practically on a silver platter, “I do.”_   
  
_“You do?”_   
  
_“I do want you sir,” Frank finally said the words. Leaving his lips, the words made it feel like a weight had been lifted from himself. Heavy chains that had been wrapped around him, padlocked shut, they had come undone, come away from him, finally freeing himself and giving him the opportunity to be with who he wanted to be with. This wasn’t wrong. This was so far from wrong. Anything this good couldn’t be wrong, “You don’t know how much I want you.”_   


_“The feeling is mutual.” Gerard smiled, reaching a hand out, touching Franks cheek. He leant into it, the simple act making Frank feel warm inside. Warmth spreading from where Gerard was touching him, stroking his thumb over his cheek. Frank couldn’t remember the last time he had felt such a strong force from such a small amount of affection. He had been longing for it, desperate to feel something that proved to him that he meant something to someone. The connection was enough for Frank to know that he had definitely missed out on stuff like this from Ryan. It had been so long for him that this felt beyond exquisite. So good that Frank closed his eyes, melting into the touch, loving the tenderness from another person who clearly felt the same way as him. Gerard must have done, especially when Frank eventually felt Gerard's nose brushing against his. The gap closing before lips pressed against his own._

 

_Frank breathed in through his nose deeply while Gerard was kissing him, feeling himself getting intoxicated by the smell of Gerard surrounding him. He finally moved a hand, coming to hold onto the bare skin just above the pants that Gerard was still wearing. Warm skin that was soft to touch, Frank didn’t want to let go of him because he swore that if he did, Gerard would just disappear and he would realise that this was all a dream then. This couldn’t be a dream as Gerard's hand moved from his cheek, holding onto the back of his neck while the kiss deepened. Frank groaned into the kiss, not quite believing that this was actually happening. It was, there was no way that he was dreaming about this. So unreal but so real all at once. Frank didn’t want this to stop, even when Gerard pulled away for a second, looking at him, trying to read if this was actually what Frank wanted._

 

_Of course it was when he stepped as close as possible to Gerard, kissing him again. Getting a little desperate with the kiss because Frank wanted this more than anything right now. All he wanted was Gerard to be his. He had said that he wanted him so clearly he was Frank's to have. Frank's to kiss and touch and hold and do what he wanted to do. There was so much he wanted to do. So much that he had been told no to before by Ryan. He hoped to have free reign, really hoping when the kissing got more heated. Frank didn’t want to stop himself when his teeth grazed on Gerard bottom lip, making a sound come from him that made Frank's stomach knot up exponentially. A whimper of a moan. So innocent yet so erotic. It was making Frank need him more than anything in the world right now._

 

_Frank's hands moved. The one that had been holding onto Gerard joined his other hand, going for the belt that was wrapped around the top of the pants that Gerard was somehow still wearing. Frank knew exactly what he wanted to do as Gerard kept kissing him back, still holding onto him, fingers tangling into his hair, holding on as Frank unfastened the belt. He felt so giddy with this. Frank hoped to make light work of getting the last of the unnecessary clothes off Gerard, but his fingers were shaking. A combination of nerves and excitement took over Frank. This was actually happening and he couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe that someone as attractive as Gerard would want to be with him. Would be letting him undo the belt he was wearing, undo the pants before pushing them down. Gerard broke the kiss again for a moment, kicking his shoes off, stepping out of the pants that were around his ankles. Frank took advantage of the moment though once Gerard was in nothing but his underwear. Taking hold of his orange locks, Frank tugged back on Gerard's hair gently, going for his neck, kissing and making the most salacious sounds leave his lips._

 

_It felt like this was all going to slow for Frank though. From the moment that Gerard had made it clear that he wanted him, from the moment that the two of them had taken this further than it ever should have gone between them, Frank wanted nothing more than to have Gerard. Be with him. Frank had assumed that his sex life was going to be drier than the sahara desert for the next god knows how many months, but no. The most attractive man by far that had ever walked into Frank's life wanted him. Wanted to have sex with him. Frank was not going to pass up an opportunity like this and he wanted to make it very clear that this was going to happen. Him and Gerard were going to do this and nothing was going to stop them as Frank took charge, his lips still on Gerard's neck, kissing and sucking at the sensitive spot he had discovered below his jawline. Frank placed a hand on Gerard's side, guiding him, pushing him back towards the bed, going until Gerard's legs came in contact with the side of the bed, making him fall back on top of the bedding._

 

_Frank took a second to take in the sight that was Gerard shifting up the bed in nothing but a pair of underwear that left very little to the imagination. God how he wanted him, seeing the line of his erection through the black material. Frank had a fire in his gut, hunger in his eyes while he watched Gerard propping himself up on his elbows, looking right back at him, waiting for him with his legs parted. Frank didn’t waste any time as he pulled his shirt up, tugging the clothing over his head before he threw it to the floor. Quickly he unfastened his jeans, shoving them down and off so he could join Gerard on the bed. Get right between his legs and feel just how much he was wanted right now._

 

_Frank got onto the bed, crawling right up to Gerard, getting between his legs. For a moment he paused, looking down at the wonder that was splayed out before him. This unimaginably attractive person who was wanting him, needing him, looking up at him while his hands held onto the bed sheets, waiting for Frank to do something to him._

 

_He didn’t even know where to start. Frank found himself lost in the wonder of Gerard actually wanting to have sex with him. Endless possibilities were going through his head of how the two of them could be together, he just couldn’t choose. Like a greedy kid in a candy store, Frank honestly wanted everything. Giddy over the idea of actually being able to have everything that was aly out in front of him, Frank finally moved his hands, still resting on his knees while he brought shaking fingers up to Gerard's thighs._

 

_The lightest touch from Frank made Gerard purr on the bed. His grip tightened on the bedding, groaning as Frank stroked his hands up his thighs. The sounds leaving Gerard were like nothing he had heard in so long. Being with someone who was practically mute during sex, it was like Frank had been deaf for all these years. Completely unaware of the how a person could sound when the right buttons were being pushed. Gerard sounded melodic in the most sexual way possible. His hips shifted on the bed, lifting while Frank felt muscles shaking in Gerard's thighs, working his way up until he was holding onto his waist._

 

_Gerard gasped when Frank gripped his waist tighter, pulling him across the bed, bringing him closer. Frank knew he would have never been like this with a certain someone. he wouldn’t have allowed it, thinking that Frank was being too rough when sex shouldn’t have been like that. For so long he had held back. For so long he had been told no for so many different things. Gerard wasn’t saying no. In fact he was panting, whining as Frank leant down and pressed a kiss below his navel. So close to the elastic of the underwear that was really in the way right now, but Frank wasn’t concentrating on that as he leant over Gerard, kissing higher, running his tongue along spots of pale and unblemished skin. The idea of leaving marks on him ran through Frank's mind. Only marks and hickeys that he would know about. The spots that he would know exactly where they were on his body under the suits he would wear at work. No one else would have to know that Gerard was his, proven by the territorial hickeys that Frank was leaving across his chest. His once pale skin now dotted with blotches where Frank had been sucking, winding him up even more to the point that Gerard wrapped his legs around Frank, pulling him down, holding him close, hands in his hair while Gerard kissed him desperately._

 

_Frank was aching by the time Gerard had wrapped his legs around him. Still encased in the annoying underwear that he had not taken off yet, Gerard was squirming against him, his erection pressing against Frank's when he rocked his hips down, rubbing himself against the man he was desperate to have sex with. He wanted to be in him. Buried in Gerard about ten minutes ago. Frank had never had a need as strong as this before. Sheer desperation was taking over as he tried to push his underwear down whilst Gerard was still wrapped around him, hands in his hair while his tongue was against Frank's own, licking and darting before he pulled away, mewling, making Frank wonder if it was possible to come just from hearing his own name leaving Gerard's lips._

 

_“God I wanna fuck you...” Frank growled before he went back to Gerard's neck, so exposed when he tilted his head back. Gerard keened when he felt teeth grazing his neck. Tongue followed by teeth followed by a firmer thrust which took him by surprise. Panting already. Panting and pleading like Frank was already fucking him. Gerard's hands holding onto Franks hair so tightly, the most obscene noises already leaving him and they weren’t even having sex yet. Bitten nails being dragged down Frank back, making his spine tingle and his dick twitch in his underwear. This was happening. Nothing was going to stop this from happening right now as Frank continued to kiss higher, his ear so close to Gerard's parted lips, listening to him whimper and whine repeatedly, Frank's name all of a sudden sounding like the best thing he had ever heard when Gerard say it between curses and moans._

 

_And then he heard it. Frank may had said what he wanted to do, but when he had his teeth grazing on Gerard's ear lobe, he heard five words that made his mind white out. Static fuzz taking over any other coherent thought in his head. Five words that stopped him, making him lean up to look down at Gerard. Look at his flushed cheeks. Look at the way he was looking back up at him with pure lust in his eyes._

 

_“God Frank, fuck me please.”_

 

_“With pleasure.” Frank answered Gerard's request, unwrapping his legs from around his waist. Frank shifted, taking hold of the elastic on Gerard's underwear, starting to pull them down while he couldn’t believe that this was actually going to happen._

 

Frank woke with a start. He sat bolt upright in bed as soon as he woke up, gasping, trying to breathe evenly while he fumbled in the darkness, reaching out for his phone.

 

Had he really just...was that really...Frank didn't want to think about it, even though the dream was still somewhat clear in his head. It was fizzling out now, the vivid dream, but he knew what he had dreamt about. He knew what sordid thoughts had passed through his brain while he brought a hand up to push hair away from his brow.

 

Was he really sweating that much? Frank winced while he wiped damp hair away from his forehead. His whole face was covered in a light sheen of sweat. He felt out of breath. Exhausted while he found his phone, screwing his eyes partially shut when he unlocked it to check the time.

 

Just gone four o'clock in the morning. It was far too early to even consider getting up. Frank groaned, flopping down on the bed, back amongst the duvet which had somehow got tangled around his legs. Maybe that was why he was sweating. Overheating. Not sweating because he had dreamt about having sex with his boss.

 

Frank wish that he could say that he hadn't, but he knew full well that he had. Staring up at the ceiling, Frank felt like he was fucked, and not in a good way. The kind of fucked that was bad because in four hours he was going to be coming face to face with the person who had been stripping for him in his dream. Begging Frank to have sex with him. This could not have happened. How could this have happened, Frank couldn’t believe that he had let his mind wander like that while he was asleep.

 

Not that he had any control over where his dreams went while he was asleep. He at least knew that his boss was a good looking guy, he would give him that. The sharp dresser with the look that he gave Frank which every now and again made his stomach do the weird churning thing. It had happened the first time he met Gerard. It had happened when he listened to the recording from the interview. It just happened and Frank had gotten to a point where he could easily ignore it. Ignoring was better then because Frank had been in love and Frank had had a Ryan and Frank was the kind of guy who didn’t let his eyes wander in a relationship.

 

Frank immediately came to the assumption that the reason he had dreamt of Gerard was because before he went to sleep he had been on the phone to him, confirming that he was going to be in work today. That was an obvious reason as to why Gerard had been in his dreams. Such a simple explanation.

 

But why had he dreamt about Gerard wanting him to have sex with him? Frank cringed at the memory of the dream, screwing his eyes shut in the darkness, rubbing his hands over his face because no, this could not have happened. There was no rhyme or reason as to why his dream had taken such a wild turn so quickly.

 

Well there was and Frank realised, groaning in the dark. What Gerard had said in the dream. Ryan could have been right about us you know. Tht line was in Frank's head and he immediately put two and two together, getting four. Getting that Ryan had been so insistent with his accusation. He assumed that Frank had been fucking Gerard so of course, especially after their break up, Frank had probably dreamed about the accusation. Hence why it had had happened in his and Ryan's old place. Hence why in the dream, it had all gone to happen on the left side of the bed. Frank hadn’t been paying attention to all of that until he realised that Ryan hadn’t probably helped him when it came to this.

 

This was all Ryan's fault and Frank was more than happy to point the finger at him. Point the finger at the difficult ex who had suddenly been so belligerent and insecure.

 

Yes, it was easier to think that it was all Ryan's fault. He had brought this on. Of course Frank was happy to admit that Gerard was attractive, but he was married and he and his wife worked together. Frank worked with his wife. He was straight and there was nothing doing.

 

It was just hard to grasp onto that when Frank was lying under the duvet with very early morning wood that would not go away.

 

This dream had meant nothing. It had to mean nothing because Frank was on the back end of a break up. He worked with Gerard. He worked with a happily married man that he had dreamt about. Frank felt like dying with embarrassment over this. How in the world was he going to be able to look Gerard in the eyes in less than four hours when Frank finally got into work? He knew that he wasn’t going to be able to look at him without turning a similar shade of red that was usually seen on a tomato. Frank wished that he could just call Gerard and tell him that he wouldn’t be able to come in today after all. He wasn’t ready. It was just that Frank knew that Gerard would ask why he wasn’t able to come into work. He would probably see through his lie if Frank told him that he had personal issues still to deal with.

 

Not that it was a lie. This was a massive personal issue because Frank had gone and had a sex dream about his boss. He had woken up to find out that his dick had woken up at the same time, aching under the duvet. Frank just knew that he couldn’t breathe a word about any of this. The dream. The morning wood that really wasn’t going away. The way when he even thought about Gerard now, his mind would go hazy and his stomach would twist and knot up like someone developing a crush for the first time.

 

Frank knew he wasn’t falling for his boss. He couldn’t have been. This was all to do with Ryan. It had to be. It wasn’t because Frank found Gerard insanely attractive. It wasn’t because Gerard did something to him when he called him boy. It was nothing to do with the fact that when Gerard even looked at him in the office, Frank would just begin to melt on the inside.

 

No. This was not a thing. Frank kept telling himself that. he was not falling for his boss. He could not fall in love with his employer because he knew that that would only end in tears.

 

Plus he wasn’t falling for him. That just seemed so absurd. Frank knew he wasn’t the kind of guy who would just hopelessly fall for someone who wasn’t attainable.

 

Was he?

 

Of course I’m not, Frank mentally told himself, throwing the duvet off himself. Frank couldn’t even begin to consider any of this right now as he sat up in bed, feeling how dry his mouth was. So thirsty. he climbed out of bed, still telling himself that he wasn’t falling for Gerard. He couldn’t be falling for Gerard because this had happened because of Ryan and how he hadn’t trusted him. That was all this was. That and the phone call from Gerard right before bed. Such a simple explanation to all of this as Frank walked out of the bedroom, going down the darkened hall towards the bathroom.

 

He switched the light on once he was in the room, wincing at the bright light above himself. Frank went straight to the sink, turning the tap on to drink some water before splashing some on his face, running wet hands through his hair.

 

Frank knew that he wasn’t falling for his boss. He was the kind of gay guy who was happy to admit when he saw someone as attractive or beyond gorgeous, especially when they wore that dark blue suit that they wore the other day in the office, but that did not mean that he was attracted to Gerard. That did not mean that he wanted to have sex with Gerard. That wasn’t even possible. He wasn’t a cheater. Plus that didn’t even matter because Gerard was straight. Gerard was married. Gerard was completely off the market and not even on the gay market altogether.

 

If only a certain part of Frank would realise that. Far too trigger happy, thinking that it was going to get something when at the end of the day, nothing was going to happen because Frank knew that there was no way he was falling for Gerard.

 

“This is all your fault.” Frank muttered, scowling, looking down at his underwear. Looking down at his dick which really wasn’t going down. It wasn’t like he could even sort himself out. Jerk off to get his dick to calm down. That would have been so weird after the dream he had just woken up from. It would have made going into work in a few hours so much more awkward for him. Looking his boss in the eyes after masturbating because of a dream that he had been involved in. No, there was nothing doing as Frank moved away from the bathroom sink, going to leave the bathroom, switching the light off. He made his way back towards his bedroom, wondering what the fuck he was going to do just to make going into work in a few hours so much more simpler for himself.


	21. Chapter 20: Je serai poète et toi la poésie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a sad chapter coming up so warning. I wouldn't say trigger warning or anything, just letting you guys no without spoiling.
> 
> Any errors, apologies, but we think we got them all :)

_ A month later _

 

Frank looked at himself in th reflection of the front glass doors of his office building, looking at his outfit, biting on his lip. He had been informed yesterday that the office was now implementing a “casual Fridays” thing to which Frank was grateful.

 

But he still didn’t feel comfortable going to work in his Metallica t-shirt and his ripped stonewash jeans. He had decided to rope Jamia in that Friday morning and get her to help him out and so far, he was impressed with her handywork. 

 

Frank looked down at his simple black shoes, his tight black jeans and his white button up that was tucked in- the sleeves rolled up to boot, a pair of black pinstripe suspenders slung over his shoulders.  He tugged at his fringe, fixing it up a bit as it stuck out from under the black beanie that Jamia had popped on his head and the black horn-rimmed sunglasses he had been given as a gift not too long ago.

 

He sucked in a breath, clutching his work satchel in one hand and a tall coffee in the other. He looked down at the coffee for a moment and pushed the front doors open, walking in rather confidently despite it being a total facade. He smiled at the receptionist before walking into the offices, setting his satchel down on his work chair along with his glasses before he strode into Gerard’s office, his heart suddenly racing a mile a minute in his chest.

 

Over the past month Frank had come to realise his tiny spark of giddiness had turned into a disgusting, fully-fledged crush on his boss. Every time he caught sight of Gerard, his heart would pick up, a static would rush in his ears and his one leg would start to shake as the other remained stock still. He clenched the coffee cup in his hand as he stood unawares in the doorway of Gerard’s office, looking him over.

 

Gerard was on the phone, frowning as he listened to whoever was on the line. He was dressed in a plain and semi-unbuttoned black shirt with the sleeves up, his hair more tousled than usual. Frank couldn’t see the rest of the outfit but he had no doubt it was absolutely gorgeous.

 

“Oh, non c'est parfait, monsieur Durand.” Gerard smiled as he nodded, “J'apprécie vraiment votre don généreux.”

 

Frank stared at Gerard for moment, not able to comprehend what was actually happening, that somehow- much to Frank’s chagrin- Gerard had now become infinitesimally more attractive. He was speaking another language, a language Frank thought was at least French, and from the way it merely rolled off his tongue Frank knew that Gerard was almost fluent.

 

Frank stepped slightly further into the office and pursed his lips as he stood there awkwardly, waiting for Gerard to notice him. Which the latter immediately did, giving Frank a once over, gesturing with his finger for Frank to come over.

 

“J'attends votre appel demain, monsieur Durand,” Gerard smiled, “D'accord, oui... Je comprends. Et merci encore. Au revoir. Bonne fin de journée.”

 

Gerard hung up the phone then, steepling his fingers as he looked at Frank once more, Gerard’s eyes taking a slow and timely rake over Frank’s body before an eyebrow rose.

 

“What?” Frank looked down at himself and up again, “Is it alright?”

 

“Now why couldn’t you have come to work like this from the interim?” Gerard pressed his lips against his fingers as he looked Frank up and down, “Very smart.”

 

“I-” Frank felt his cheeks go bright pink, “This wasn’t my doing. I wish it was.”

 

“Who then?”

 

“Jamia.” Frank admitted, smiling slightly, “I wanted to come to work in my jeans and a t-shirt but she wouldn’t hear it.”

 

“Well she cleans you up nicely. I give her most courteous of props.” Gerard smiled jokingly and looked at Frank’s face, frowning for a millisecond, “and that?”

 

“What?” 

 

“Your eyes.” Gerard replied simply and Frank interesly cursed. He remembered now that he had woken up this morning in a not so great mood and had had himself a not-so-small cry after Jamia had gotten him dressed for work. It shouldn’t have upset him but the day in particular would have marked another whole month in he and Ryan’s relationship, a whole month closer to their seven year anniversary.

 

Frank was lucky enough to have checked his reflection to see just how red his eyes were, how puffy and blotchy his skin was. He had grabbed Jamia’s eyeliner from the drawer and lined his eyes as he used to in high school, smudging it slightly to cover the worst blotches. But he didn’t consider that perhaps it may be a step too far into the “casual” part of casual Friday’s.

 

“Oh- I- Uh…” Frank went slightly more pink as he looked down at the floor, “I kind of…”

 

“Look at me boy.” Gerard ordered calmly and Frank obeyed, looking up at Gerard as he bit his lip, being under his Boss’ scrutinising eye was both nerve-wrecking and heart-killing in the best and worst ways, “It looks good.”

 

“Wh-?” Frank was dumbfounded.

 

“It does.” Gerard nodded, “Suits you.”

 

“Thank you, sir.” Frank smiled before he walked up to Gerard, his arm outstretched with the coffee still in his hand, “I got this for you, sir.”

 

“This is becoming a habit for you.” Gerard eyed the latte, “Don’t think I don’t notice…”

 

Frank’s entire soul and internal organs stopped as Gerard uttered the words. Had Frank’s work crush been that obvious? Had he been so transparent that Gerard had caught on already? Frank cursed himself internally, wishing that the ground would just open up and swallow him whole.

 

“Sir I- I can explain…” Frank tried to calm the raging heartbeat that was moshing against his poor ribs, his hand on his chest just in case it plummeted to the floor.

 

“Bringing me a coffee every day before work for an entire month and yet you still make it on time. How?”

 

“I- I uh…” Frank cleared his throat, a wave of relief hitting him harder than a weed-buzz would have years before, “I get- I get up earlier.”

 

“Just to get my coffee?” Gerard raised an eyebrow, “You do know your probationary period ended over two weeks ago, boy. You have no need to kiss my ass anymore, you’re my assistant now.”

 

“I-” Frank went beet red, his cheeks flaming more than he was at the mental image Gerard had so neatly placed in his mind, “I just… Doing my job.”

 

“Well done, boy.” Gerard smiled as he took the cup from Frank, their hands brushing in a featherlight embrace that still drove a shudder up Frank’s spine and made his left leg want to give in.

 

“It- It’s nothing.” Frank waved a hand, smiling as Gerard took a contented sip, “Sir?”

 

“Oui, mon garçon?” Gerard asked, stopping Frank in his tracks at the sudden change in language, throwing him off track.

 

“I-...” Frank wracked his brain as he tried to figure out what he had wanted to say.

 

“Eh bien, allez, Frank.” Gerard smiled, taking another sip, his eyes alight with amusement.

 

“I- I didn’t know you spoke French.” Frank managed, his stomach in an intense knot.

 

“C'est ma deuxième langue.” Gerard replied and Frank frowned, “My second language.”

 

“Wow…” Frank muttered, “All I know is English and a few phrases in Klingon.” Frank looked up with wide eyes when he realised he had said that aloud, the blush now in his ears, “I-”

 

“Klingon, you say?” Gerard tilted his head to the side, “I’ll keep that in mind if I ever need to ask Chancellor Gorkon for a grant.”

 

Frank stared at Gerard for ages, his eyes widened with genuine surprise, “You know Star Trek.”

 

“Let’s keep it our secret.” Gerard smiled, “Now, I need you to-”

 

Gerard was cut off by the sudden and not-so-quiet ringing of Korn coming from Frank’s pocket, the sudden and unnecessary ‘Freak on a Leash’ made them both jump. Frank reached into his pocket, going to switch it off when he saw the caller ID. He looked at Gerard with an apologetic glance, the latter waving him off with a smile.

 

“Mia?” Frank frowned, “I’m at work…”

 

“Frank,” She sounded terrified, “Frank it- It’s happening.”

 

“What?!” Frank almost yelled, putting his hand on his mouth when he realised how loud he had yelled, “What?”

 

“I- My water broke.” Jamia took in a breath and Frank felt his stomach drop, “Y- You gotta come home.”

 

“Shit.” Frank put a hand to his forehead, “Okay. I’ll be there now okay. Just deep breaths, okay?”

 

Frank hung out, jogging into Gerard’s office, startling his boss slightly as he panted, “Frank?”

 

“Sir, I- I have to… Jamia’s… Labor and- And babies and…” He put his hand to his chest as it sunk in, “Month early but…”

 

“Well go on, the child isn’t going to wait for you.” Gerard smiled, waving him off as Frank turned, running into his office to grab his stuff before he vaulted out of the building and to his car.

 

Frank pulled his keys out of his bag, fumbling shakily before dropping them between his feet. He cursed, picking them up as he stuck the key in the door and unlocked it, throwing his stuff aside. He took a second, taking in a breath before he started the car, trying to calm himself down inside, the prospect of a baby hadn’t fully hit him yet. Nor had it hit him that it would be coming out his best friend’s vagina.

 

~

 

“See?” Frank reassured as he helped Jamia into the hospital, his one arm around her with the other outstretched as she squeezed his hand, “We made it in time. No baby yet.”

 

“Shut up.” She yelped, cringing at what was probably a small contraction. Frank pursed his lips as he steered her to the counter.

 

“We have a- uh… A code red situation here.” Frank told the assisting nurse at the desk, “She’s uh…”

 

“Frank, for fuck sake. I’m having a baby. There will be a- ah- a tiny being coming out of my body. There’s no time to candy coat.” Jamia glared at Frank, who smiled back coyly. He was definitely out of his league when it came to vagina as a whole, let alone when things were happening to it.

 

A nurse appeared in her peach coloured scrubs, helping Frank lower Jamia into a wheelchair before she was wheeled off God knows where. Frank stood there, looking at the nurse behind the desk.

 

“Do I follow?”

 

“Are you the father?” She asked and Frank swallowed thickly.

 

“Well no but…” He sighed, “I’m all she has.”

 

“You can go through, take a left into the maternity ward, delivery rooms are on the right.” She gestured down the hall and Frank gave her a small salute before he went after Jamia, jogging into the ward that was suddenly all shades of pastel blue and pink and yellow. Definitely the right place.

 

Frank stepped into the ward and peered through one of the doors, grimacing at the abhorrent sight of a woman with her legs up and screaming in agony, luckily for the poor homo there was a doctor’s head blocking anything important.

 

He stepped away from the door and looked into the next room, finding Jamia laying in the bed by herself looking horrified. Frank walked in with a smile, rushing over to her with a sympathetic face. 

 

“Hey…” He smiled, “Sorry I left you for a sec.”

 

“Don’t you dare.” Jamia hissed at him before wincing in agony, whimpering as her legs buckled, her knees lifting, “What about the paperwork?”

 

“I finished the paperwork about a week ago, I did it beforehand when you went to your last scan.” Frank brushed her hair from her face, “You don’t worry about any of that. Are we in a delivery room?”

 

“Yeah…” She cringed as she went through a contraction before grabbing the side-rails of the delivery bed in agony, her mouth open as she braced herself.

 

“I feel so useless.” Frank muttered as he stood at her side, “I don’t know how to help.”

 

“G- Get me fucking drugs.” She panted, “You fuck.”

 

“I don’t think that’s in my paygrade.” Frank put his hands in his pockets.

 

“Pussy.” She grunted, flopping back against her pillow.

 

“They’ll be in to check on you.” Frank smiled slightly, “I’ll get you some ice chips.”

 

“No!” Jamia gasped, sounding on the verge of tears, “Don’t leave me.”

 

“Mia,” Frank smiled, “The nurse is gonna be here to check you out… I’ll be here now.”

 

“Okay…” She whimpered softly and Frank waited patiently for the nurse and a doctor to walk in before he walked out to the ice station. He grabbed a cup and shovelled a handful into the plastic holder before he walked back into the room, jumping in fright when he opened the door and found Jamia with her legs open and a woman on a stool with her head under a sheet.

 

“Wh- Oh uh…” Frank hurried over and held the ice chips out, “Here.”

 

“Thanks…” She huffed out as the nurse wrapped a blood pressure cuff around her arm.

 

“Alright, Miss Nestor,” The doctor reappeared with a reassuring smile on her face, “Your water broke when?”

 

“Twenty four minutes ago.” Frank looked at the watch on his wrist, “And contractions are every thirty two seconds.”

 

“Good. You’ve started bleeding slightly. All a good sign.” She pulled off a latex glove, “And you’re only four centimeters dilated, Jamia.”

 

“That’s…” Jamia cut herself off with a low grunt and a scream, arching her back as she went through another contraction.

 

“You’re not just yet ready to become a mom.” The doctor smiled before she looked at Frank, “Are you going to be in here?” 

 

“Oh-” Frank went slightly pink, “I- I guess…”

 

“I’ll be back in an hour or so to check, it varies for first time moms.” The doctor smiled, “Your birth plan has already been submitted and I see you’ve opted for an epidural.”

 

“Please.” Jamia whimpered and the nurse vanished then, most likely to fetch the IV and whatever else was needed, “Frank?”

 

“Yeah, babe?” Frank smiled and she gestured weakly for the cup to which he raised up, pouring a few pieces of ice into her mouth, watching her face shift into somewhat relief, “You’re doing great so far.”

 

“Yeah?” She smiled weakly, “Bet it still feels better than anal.”

 

“Trust you to bring that up while having a baby.” Frank snorted and she managed a pained smile as she shifted uncomfortably.

 

“Well I have it tattooed on me.” 

 

Frank watched at the sidelines as Jamia was dressed down into a proper hospital gown, he watched as they propped her legs up into stirrups for ease and comfort and her arm hooked up to an IV during an intense contraction, watched as she was calmly told by the doctor to breath. The entire time he was bewildered. 

 

“How long does it usually take…” Frank piped up, “Y’know, all of this.”

 

“Well on average it’s between ten and twenty hours but I’ve seen woman come and go in two and I’ve seen them stay as long as three days.”

 

“Th- Three days?!” Jamia screeched, “Have you been sucking nitrous?!”

 

“It all depends on the baby.” The doctor replied simply and Jamia let out a groan.

 

“This little asshole better get here quick.” Jamia gasped as she held on to the rails of the cot, panting as Frank wandered over and wiped her forehead with a damp cloth.

 

“That’s right. Calming thoughts.” Frank muttered softly and Jamia suddenly dug her nails into his hand.

 

“I swear to God, Iero, I will staple your nutbag to your earlobe if you don’t shut up.” She hissed venomously and Frank swallowed hard, nodding vigorously as his entire undercarriage gave a hard jolt back up into his body and his butthole clamp shut.

 

“Yeah, okay. I can do that.” Frank whispered softly.

 

Four hours later Frank was bleak, he was white and clammy and clutching on to Jamia’s hand as she went through almost an entire sixty seconds worth of a single contraction, her face screwed up in pure distress and covered in sweat.

 

There were nurses in the room now and the doctor who was sitting at the end of the down-turned delivery bed.

 

“You’re nine centimeters.” The doctor informed, “Contractions are every two minutes for at least a minute in the last hour. You’re about to have your baby.”

 

“Oh. fuck me…” Frank whispered softly, “No.”

 

“Don’tyouleaveme, you rat bastard.” Jamia cried as she sat up, gritting her teeth as the doctor coached her through a contraction, guiding her on when to push and for how long before she flopped back again.

 

“That’s a lot of blood.” Frank muttered to himself as he looked down for a second and instantly regretted it, keeping his eyes trained, instead, on Jamia’s face.

 

“B- Blood?” Jamia’s voice broke, “Wh- What do you-?”

 

“Relax, that’s normal.” The midwife smiled reassuringly, now I want you to push for ten seconds, Jamia.”

 

“T- Ten.” Jamia let out a small scream as she held onto the bed and did as best she could before flopping back down again when Frank placed the cool cloth on her cheeks, wiping off the sweat with a reassuring but shaky smile.

 

“How are you doing?” The doctor asked and Jamia shook her head.

 

“I- I can’t…” She cried, “It- It’s too much.”

 

“You’ve got this. Hey.” Frank took her hand, “You’re no quitter, Miss Nestor. You’re the strongest woman I know. And that’s Leia included. Now you push, okay? You can do this.”

 

Jamia merely nodded, in full blown tears now as she took a breath and kept pushing through a contraction.

 

Frank wasn’t even sure how long he had been standing there at his best friend’s side but he knew his feet were burning, his knees were stiff and both of his hands were covered and littered in little crescent shaped marks from Jamia’s nails. It must have been over an hour that Jamia had been in active labour, it had to have been considering it felt like an eternity since they had even gotten there.

 

Frank was there the entire time, leaning over and holding Jamia despite the fact that he had sort of zoned out mentally, at first helping her through her breathing exercises before he ended up staring at the peach-coloured wall ahead of him.

 

A loud and squeaky wail all but slingshotted him from his reverie and he jumped in fright, looking at the source of the crying to see a disturbingly white and purple coloured, strawberry Jell-o covered baby with a shock of matted dark hair and tiny clenched fingers. He felt his heart stop for a moment and Jamia’s hand slip from his grasp as the cord was cut and the baby was taken from sight.

 

He turned to see Jamia give one last push before she fell back on the bed, heaving through her tears and looking relieved with an almost dreamy smile on her chapped lips.

 

“You fucking did it.” Frank kissed her forehead, “You. Yourself. You did it.”

 

“Where…” Jamia frowned softly, not even able to crane her neck.

 

“They’re cleaning it up for you.” Frank reassured before he wandered over to the nurse, who turned and handed him the tiniest baby he had ever seen wrapped in a pink blanket. The involuntary smile spread in his lips as the nurse instructed him on the proper way to hold the baby, a hand under her head.

 

“Hi…” He crooned softly, “I’m your uncle Frank. And you’ve got your mom’s nose… You’re lucky. She’s beautiful. I mean of course you knew that, you were there.”

 

Frank wandered over and smiled, turning to Jamia, who was asleep in the bed, eyes closed and peaceful. 

 

“Hey.” Frank carefully nudged her with his elbow, “Mia.”

 

“Is everything okay?”

 

“She’s asleep.” Frank frowned, “She hasn’t even met her daughter.”

 

“Jamia?” The doctor tapped her cheek lightly before she brought a small flashlight out and checked her eyes and her vitals. Frank frowned, a worrying confusion prickling the back of his skull as he watched the nurse run out of the room.

 

They came back with a crash cart that Frank recognised and his entire body went cold, watching from the corner as they tried to resuscitate his best friend, trying to shock her back to life, the muffled yells of ‘clear!’ ringing but never registering.

 

There was a moment where everyone just stopped, they all just stopped what they were doing, lungs weren’t compressed, defibrillators weren’t recharged and oxygen wasn’t being pumped. And Frank couldn’t take it.

 

“Why did you stop?” He croaked, his eyes blurring with tears as he stayed dead still in the corner, the rest of the staff turning to see him there, looking surprised that he was still in the room, “Why did you…?”

 

“I’m sorry…” The doctor replied calmly, “She didn’t make it.”

 

“No.” Frank let out a small laugh, “She was just here. She was- She just had… She has a baby.”

 

“There’s nothing more we can do.” The doctor looked at Frank, who was shaking his head vehemently, “She’s gone.”

 

“No- But- But she… She had a baby.”

 

“Some women just aren’t able to go through labour by themselves. Some women just aren’t strong enough…”

 

“Jamia is the strongest woman I know, don’t you fucking dare!” Frank yelled angrily as the tears finally fell down his cheeks, the sound of a baby’s upset wails cut him off and he jumped in shock, “What the fuck must I do with her now?”

 

“Are you the legal guardian?”

 

“No.” Frank shook his head, “Just- Just a friend.”

 

“Does the baby have a father?”

 

“I-...” Frank scowled, “Yeah she does. Unfortunately.”

 

“She’ll be put up with us until a social can locate the father. Otherwise she’ll have to be put into adoption.”

 

“Fuck…” Frank sobbed softly, looking down at the tiny and unknowing baby in his arms, “She’s not even an hour old and she’s already done so much. Just- Just take her please. I can’t do this- I-”

 

Frank wasn’t even sure if it had kicked in yet. So much had happened in the past six hours that he wasn’t even able to process any of it just yet. He had started crying sure, but did every part of him know Why? No. Not yet. But he knew it would, he knew he was going to crack soon as he stared at where Jamia’s peaceful form lay in the bed.

 

“Does she have a name?” The doctor asked and Frank looked up as he carefully handed the pink-wrapped being over to the nurse, watching as the baby merely stared up at the world around it..

 

“She does, yeah. I’m naming her.” Frank’s arms felt empty all of a sudden, cold and useless like the evergrowing glacier inside of him that would take so long to melt down.

 

“And what’s that?” The doctor smiled and handed the baby to a nurse. Frank watched over the blurring tears in his eyes as the baby was taken out of the room and completely out of his life. There and gone in fifteen minutes. They had been through so much and only one of them would always remember it.

 

“Mia Jinx Nestor.” 


	22. Chapter 21.1: I Am How You See Me. Nothing More, Nothing Less

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this and the next chapter, they are both mine. Unfortunately I got a little carried away with what I was writing and so it got split. I do hope you guys enjoy 
> 
> Any errors, apologies, but we think we got them all :)

Frank swiped his card against the door, hoping and praying that Gerard was still in the office. It was dark. It didn’t look like there was a single light on, but then again, Frank couldn’t see any light from Gerard's office on the other side of the building. The only way he would know straight away was if he went around the back and looked in through the windows. But that would have looked suspicious and Frank really didn’t want to come across as suspicious. He wasn’t in the mood for sneaking around as he was let in through the main door, pushing it open while taking a step in.

 

This seemed like a much better thing to do than what he had already done this evening. After leaving the hospital in a blur of tears and emotions, he got straight into his car, knowing full well that he wasn’t going to be driving to Jamias. His home which he couldn’t even bring himself to set foot into. Not now, Frank thought while he was driving, trying to wipe his eyes dry so he could see out of the windscreen. He just wanted to do one thing and one thing alone, and that involved finding a bar somewhere and drinking.

 

He hadn’t stayed long at the bar though. Frank had just wanted some peace and quiet while he drank alone, drinking to his friend who was no longer of this world. That broke his heart into more pieces than breaking up with Ryan had done. He may have felt alone when he left Ryan, but now he felt completely alone because his friend who had taken him under her wing was now gone. Dead, the bitter truth still sinking in a bit slower than Frank was drinking his Jack and ginger. 

 

Frank never got his peace though. Some drunk guy chose to sit next to him at the bar, wanting to strike up a slurred conversation with him. Frank insisted that he wasn’t in the mood for talking, but the drunkard still pushed, nudging at him, trying to coax him into some conversation about the ice hockey. Frank was not in the mood, fighting back tears while he sipped on his drink. The guy just wouldn’t leave him alone and as much as Frank just wanted to shout at him to leave him alone, he didn’t have the energy to do it. All of that was gone along thanks to what he had lost.

 

What hadn’t helped the situation was when the guy realised that Frank wasn’t going to talk to him. In drunk annoyance, he gave up trying to talk to him, but what he muttered to Frank before he sauntered off, that’s what felt like a sudden punch to the gut for him.

 

“Jeez, who died?”

 

Frank left after that, leaving his unfinished drink sat on the bar. Tears blinded him while he fought with his car keys, trying to get the godforsaken door open so he could just go. Drive somewhere. Anywhere, he just wanted to be alone with his thoughts and maybe a bottle of something to numb his aching heart.

 

The liquor store had definitely been the next port of call then.

 

But sitting in the car park of a closed book store, drinking a small bottle of Jack Daniels that really did taste disgusting by itself, didn’t have the same appeal as Frank first thought it would have done. Drowning his sorrows suddenly didn’t feel like the right thing to do. Passing out in his car after drinking too much was probably not the best thing to do. In a second as Frank looked at the bottle, thumbing and peeling off the corner of the label on the bottle, he didn’t want to be some sad and pathetic guy who wanted to be alone through all of this. Being alone made him feel like all he could do was cry and he would have no one there to help him. No one to tell him that one day everything was going to be okay all over again.

 

It hadn’t felt like it for Frank to be perfectly honest. He swore that his life was continuing to fall apart, making him wonder what was going to be just around the corner for him, ready to knock him down a peg or two more.

 

So Frank had ditched the bottle out of his car window, wiping his eyes dry once more, ignoring how his eyelids were stinging, how whole face stinging from crying. He had an idea of where he could go. Probably not a very good one, seeing as the person hadn’t really been there for him before, but it was an absolute in his life. Someone sturdy enough to hopefully help him. Either that or the last resort which Frank wasn’t sure he wanted to go through with just yet. 

 

Either way, this felt like the best thing to do right now.

 

The whole office was in darkness. He walked down the main hall, seeing a few computer monitors still on, but there was no sign of life in the whole place. No sound, no movement at all. Frank snuck his head round into his own office, seeing Gerards door. Nothing. More darkness. He wasn’t here and Franks heart sunk in his chest. This had been it. It was either going to be Gerard or Ryan. Frank had gone to look for Gerard first because he really didn’t want to have to choose his ex right now. Yes, he needed someone to be there for him, but what if Ryan didn’t want to be there for him? What if he didn’t want to be a shoulder for Frank to cry on? Or what if he did? What if Ryan was willing to take him back in with open arms and forget everything that had happened? Frank knew he was vulnerable right now. The idea of going to Ryan first was scary because he didn’t want to make a mistake that he was going to end up regretting. End up back with Ryan because he had no one else.

 

That was what Gerard was for. The crash mat so Frank didn’t end up doing something stupid. It was just that he wasn’t here now. He had clearly gone home for the night as Frank walked down into the main room with all the computers, looking over everything before he sniffed, trying to hold it together while he knew what his only other option was. His last resort which he really didn’t want to go for unless there was nothing else he could do.

 

Frank reached into his pants, going for his phone. He wondered if he should at least text Ryan first. Text him to let him know that he wasn’t okay and that he needed someone to be there for him. Frank remembered that Ryan didn’t care too much for Jamia. She was far too close to him for Ryans liking, but still, was he really going to keep hold of that stupid problem when she had just gone and died? Frank hoped not as he fought back more tears, opening up his messages, beginning to type out Ryan's number because he no longer had it in his phone. Remembering it. Thank god he still remembered it as he started to type out his message to him.

 

“Frank?”

 

Frank jumped when he heard the voice coming from behind him. He spun around quickly, sniffing to hide the fact that he had been crying, trying to look at lot sharper than he actually was to see who was talking to him. The voice that calmed him while scaring him all at the same time because honestly, he thought he was the only person in the office right now.

 

“Sir,” Frank breathed a sigh of relief, seeing Gerard standing in the kitchen doorway, looking at him with confusion plastered across his face. It was late. Close to eleven o'clock and somehow Gerard was still here. He wasn’t where Frank had assumed that he would be, at home in bed with his wife. No, thank god he was still in the office. Frank deleted his message to Ryan, shutting down his phone before pushing it back into his pants pocket, “I was hoping you were still here but, I assumed that you had gone home.”

 

“I was about to,” Gerard told him, “I’ve just been shutting down everything for the night- Frank, what are you doing here? It’s late. Shouldn’t you be with your friend in hospital right now?”

 

That question hit Frank hard. The last time he had spoken to Gerard, he was off to go and be with Jamia while she gave birth. Gerard had given him right to go and be there for her. He had been there for her, right to the very end and the question just brought it all back to Frank. Screaming through his head, the memory of her not responding while he was holding Jamias daughter in his arms. He was an uncle, but in the process of becoming an uncle, he lost his best friend and as much as Frank was holding it together right now, he was also losing grip of it all again. Unravelling in front of Gerard, his bottom lip quivering as his eyes started to sting.

 

“Are you okay?” Gerard asked watching Frank nod. Gerard called bullshit though, even as Frank wiped his nose across the back of his hand. He really didn’t look okay and gerard honestly had no idea what had happened since he last saw Frank earlier in the day, “Did something happen?”

 

Frank felt his shoulder starting to shake as Gerard took steps closer to him. He really didn’t want to come across as weak in front of Gerard was so strong but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t stop the tears from spilling down his cheeks silently when Gerard came to a stop in front of him, taking hold of his shoulders to make sure he was okay, which he clearly wasn’t.

 

“Did Ryan do something?” Gerard asked, wondering if Franks sudden dip in his mood was because of his pesky who who had really done nothing to Frank except cause him pain and trouble. Frank shook his head, trying to wipe his eyes, trying not to cry in front of Gerard. It was too late though. A sob left him before the waterworks really started, coming out of Frank faster than he could hold it together, “What did he do? Tell me.”

 

“It wasn’t Ryan,” Frank told Gerard, looking at him for a second before he looked back down, looking at the black tie Gerard was wearing because it was easier to focus on that instead of focussing on his eyes which were trained on him, seeing probably just how pathetic he looked right now, “I-”

 

Frank completely lost it then, his whole body shaking while he cried. Frank couldn’t even hold it together for long enough to tell Gerard what had happened. The idea of actually vocalising what had happened ripped Frank apart. If he said it then it meant that what had happened was real. Jamia was really gone and there was nothing he could do about it. Only cry and hurt and feel like his heart had been ripped out of his chest because he had lost his best friend.

 

Frank felt arms wrap around him, pulling him and holding him close. He continued to cry, sobbing against material that he soon realised was Gerards shirt. He was hugging him, holding him so close, like he was letting him just cry it out. He had no idea what had happened, but clearly it was something that had shaken Frank. Something bad enough to have Frank come looking for him so late at night. It was probably a good thing he was still here then, deciding to wash up what had been dumped in the sink because no one else in the office had been bothered to do it. Such a good thing for Frank. He may have been broken and felt like his life was falling apart around him right now, but in the moment where Gerard was holding him, stroking his back whilst letting him cry against his chest, Frank felt somewhat comforted. He was still crying, still letting heartbroken sobs muffle against Gerards shirt, but he didn’t feel so alone. he didn’t feel entirely lost in the world right now, wondering what the hell he was going to have to do now. That didn’t entirely matter because Gerard was just letting him get it all out. Let him cry in an attempt to calm him down before he possibly found out what had happened.

 

“Do you want to talk about what happened?” Gerard asked when Frank seemed a little calmer, hoping to find out why he was in such a bad state. 

 

Frank sniffed, trying to breathe through his nose, even though it was stuffed up from all the crying he had done. Pulling away, Frank felt like he was calm enough to talk, maybe not calm enough to say what had happened without another influx of emotions taking over him. He wiped his nose on the back of his hand before seeing the wet blotch where his face had been pressed against Gerards shirt.

 

“You shirt, shit- I’m so sorry,” Frank apologies, immediately feeling bad for messing up Gerards shirt, going to wipe dry where he had wet through with a probable combination of tears, saliva and snot from crying so hard, “I’m so so sorry about your shirt, sir. I didn’t mean to-”

 

“Relax,” Gerard shushed him immediately, “It’s fine. Need to get it all dry cleaned anyway.”

 

Frank nodded at that, still feeling bad to a degree, but he really had more on his mind to worry about than a white shirt with a mix of body fluids on it. He tried to remain emotionally all in one piece for a second, just for a short amount of time so he could explain himself to Gerard, but he just couldn’t do it for long enough. Like holding in your breath, Frank knew he could only do it for so long until he would need to breathe in. Not long at all. Trying so hard not to crumble, but it wasn’t easy when Frank felt like his whole life was slipping between his fingers like sand.

 

“Hey,” Gerard spoke softly to Frank, trying to stay as calm as possible in an attempt to make Frank remain as calm as possible, “Is everything okay? Just tell me that. You don’t have to go into great detail if you don’t want to.”

 

“She died,” Frank blurted out, an onslaught of emotions hitting him hard, along with the few drinks he had had before he left the bar to come and find Gerard, making him talk a little easier. The problem with talking a little easier was that he had admitted it. He told Gerard what had happened and the rest started coming out far too fluidly. Words leaving his mouth as quickly as the tears began to fall again, “She went into labour...and afterwards she just...she’s gone. My best friend is gone and I can’t...I can’t…”

 

“I’m so sorry,” Gerard apologised, letting Frank collapse against his chest again. One hand balled into a fist, Frank clung onto the lapel of Gerard suit, a fresh batch of tears already streaming while the most broken, gut wrenching sobs left Frank. Hurting so much, Frank felt Gerard holding him again, comforting him. It helped, but it wasn’t stopping anything right now, “Honestly Frank, I know how you feel right now.”

 

“No you don’t,” Frank spoke against Gerards chest, not seeing the way he showed a flash of emotion across his face before he looked back down at Frank, “You don’t know how I feel right now. You don’t know what this is like for me.”

 

“You’re probably right,” Gerard sighed, pulling Frank away from his chest, looking at how bloodshot and read his eyes were, taking note of how when he was holding Frank, he caught a whiff of alcohol on him. Or at least the scent of stale smoke and cheap liquor, like he had been in some shitty bar or had been sat in a park somewhere drinking on a bench, crying, “I don’t know what you are going through, but I will look after you. Do you want to talk about it?”   
  
Frank shook his head, “I wish it hadn’t happened so do you really think that I’m going to want to talk about it?”   
  
“You're probably right,” Gerard noted, looking at Franks face for a second, “How did you get here?”   
  
“I drove here.”

 

“And how much have you had to drink?” Gerard pushed, wanting to know. Frank seemed pretty compos mentis, but he didn’t want to risk it. If Frank wasn’t safe to drive then there was no way in hell Gerard was going to let him drive home. 

 

“Why are you asking me all of these questions?” Frank frowned, wondering why Gerard was looking at him like that, like he was trying to figure him out for a second, “What have I done?”   
  
“No reason, depending on how much you drank before you got behind the wheel of your car.” Gerard said, looking far too authoritative for Frank right now, like he was going to get told off for what he was about to say.

 

“A couple of drinks, that’s all I had. A jack and ginger in the bar and I may have had a drink in a parking lot before I came here.”

 

Gerard sighed harshly at that, shaking his head, “So you were over the limit.”

 

“Maybe,” Frank shrugged, “I don’t know.”

 

“You were,” Gerard told him outright, getting cross over the fact that Frank had put himself at risk just by driving to the office, “You can’t be so impetuous like this Frank. You could have been in an accident, pulled over by the cops-”   
  
“Look, I got here in one piece, okay?” Frank held his hands up, feeling like he was a kid getting told off by a parent. Scolded at the worst possible time. How could Gerard be telling him off when he was the one going through shit right now, “I don’t know what the big deal is. I’m not even drunk-”

 

“It is a big deal because you were over the limit! You were breaking the law!” Gerard snapped, making Frank flinch back a bit. His voice was raised. Frank had never heard him speak like this before. Not even speaking, nearly shouting at him which made Frank shrink back a little, “In New Jersey, a person is guilty of drunk driving if he or she operates a motor vehicle with a Blood Alcohol Concentration of nought point nought eight percent or higher. You Frank, you were drunk driving.”

 

“But I wasn’t properly drunk,” Frank said, knowing full well that he wasn’t the swaying kind of drunk where he couldn’t even form a sentence without slurring. Fine, he was a little buzzed, but there was no way he was actually properly drunk, “I don’t know why you’re making such a big fuss.”

 

“Because I’m one of the people on the council who passed the law,” Gerard jabbed a finger at his own chest, making Frank realise why he was making such a big deal out of this, “I was one of many who approved the drink driving limit for this state and you just had to go and ignore it! You could have caused an accident. Frank, you could have been killed because of your vacuous actions.”

 

“Well I’m still here aren’t I?” Frank held his arms out, showing Gerard that he was in fact here and not just another drunk driving statistics that he would probably shake his head at, thinking that he was an idiot. He probably was thinking that already, just vocalising it in more of a telling off way which Frank wasn’t happy about. His friend had died and this was how Gerard was going to be? Picking apart the one thing that really didn’t matter right now for him.

 

“I wish I could say the same for one of my friends,” Gerard just told him while they still stood in the dark. It took a second for Frank to realise. The second passed and he realised why Gerard was making such a big deal out of this. Probably why he had had the drink driving law changed in the first place. Someone in his life must have done something very similar to what Frank had done tonight and now it all made sense for him while he stood in the hallway, quiet now because how could he fight back at Gerard now, “He was very similar to you on this kind of situation. Care free. Liked to have a drink or two and still drive even though he knew he was over the limit. He believed he was invincible. He didn’t think that he would end up getting pulled over or hurt because of his drink driving.”   
  
“Did he…” Frank started, not really wanting to finish the question because he could pretty much answer it for himself. He easily assumed what had happened to this friend of Gerards.

 

“He died in a car accident because he was over the limit...injuring two other people in the process. Died on impact. I was devastated because he was a good friend of mine when we were in college together. Had a couple of classes together.”   
  
“I’m sorry,” Frank apologised, lowering his head, “I didn’t know.”

 

“You didn’t know because you didn’t ask why your actions affected me so much. Being so incautious. You may think that it won’t happen to you because you think you’re not that drunk,” Gerard continued while Frank couldn’t even look him in the eyes, feeling bad for what he had done, “But it does happen. It happened to Steve and it could happen to you...Lindsey was devastated when she found out.”   
  
“Was he a friend of hers too?” Frank asked quickly, not knowing why he was asking. The question just came out after Gerard had mentioned her.

 

“Steve was her brother,” Gerard spoke, making Frank realise just how personal this was for him. His brother in law had died drink driving. Of course Gerard was going to be furious at him for what he had gone and done to get here. Frank shrunk back in himself a little while Gerard kept his eyes trained on him, watching him for a second before he sighed, shaking his head again before running his hands through his hair, “”She was inconsolable for days. I had never seen Lindsey so distraught before in my entire life.”   
  
“I’m sorry sir,” Frank muttered out, feeling pretty stupid now over what he had done. It wasn’t like he had had any other choice. He couldn’t have walked because it was too far away from where he had parked. Getting a taxi, that was going to cost a fortune this late at night and to be perfectly honest, it wasn’t like Frank had entirely been thinking straight since he left the hospital, “I- I didn’t think.”

 

“Clearly you didn’t,” Gerard muttered, watching Frank before he pushed a hand into his pants pocket, pulling out a set of keys, “Well, it looks like I’m going to be taking someone home tonight then, doesn’t it, boy.”

 

“You don’t have to drive me home,” Frank insisted, not wanting Gerard to go out of his way for him. He didn’t entirely want to be left alone either right now but it wasn’t like Frank could just ask his boss if he could stay with him for the time being, “Honestly sir, I can call a taxi.”

 

“It isn’t a bother,” Gerard waved a hand at him, his anger over the situation seeming to dissipate now. Frank was sure that he was still annoyed at him, but he didn’t want to ask just in case it brought it all back and Gerard just started all over again, reminding him of how stupid he had been, “Someone has to look after you.”

 

Frank watched in the darkness as Gerard walked passed him, clutching onto a set of keys before he stopped, looking back at Frank like he was expecting something from him.

 

“Well are you coming then?” Gerard asked, assuming that Frank should have known to follow, “I can’t have you staying here overnight.”

 

“Yeah, sure.” Frank nodded, sniffing, walking behind Gerard as the two of them left the office. Frank stood outside in the cold for a second, hands stuffed inside his pants pockets in a pathetic attempt to keep warm. God knows why he hadn’t brought a jacket, but then again, he had no idea that he was going to be coming to the office at gone eleven o'clock at night. He had no idea this morning when he woke up that he was going to witness his best friend bring a new person into the world before she left it. He had no idea that this was all going to happen when his alarm went off this morning and to be perfectly honest, he wished that he could turn back time and start the day all over again, hoping for a different outcome, even though it wasn’t possible.

 

Frank shuddered in the cold, waiting for Gerard while he set an alarm inside the office. Moments later he appeared, bag slung over one shoulder before he closed and locked the door. He walked passed Frank, waving a hand at him to follow as he pressed a button on his set of keys. A car's lights flashed in the small car park to the side of the office and Frank just followed, feeling more than numb. Not just because of the cold, but everything else that was piling on top of him. He was completely zoned out, coming to a stop by a black Beetle. Hands still in his pockets while he shook from the cold, he watched Gerard set his bags down on the back seat of the car, shutting the door before he got into the car, signalling for Frank to get in.

 

“I thought you had a driver?” Frank questioned when he got into the car, watching curiously as Gerard fastened his seatbelt before pushing the keys into the ignition. Gerard had been driven around on the day that he had bought Frank the suits. He had honestly expected gerard to be waving down his driver again tonight, but apparently not and this really was unexpected for Frank right now

 

“I do, from time to time, when I need him,” Gerard answered, starting the car up, “But I knew I was going to be staying later tonight to cover for the work you missed so Lindsey left me her car. She had the pleasure of being driven home tonight. Seatbelt on boy.”   
  
Frank noticed that he had done it since he got in the car. Mumbling out an apology, he strapped himself in, trying not to stare at Gerard right now as he looked over his shoulder, reversing out of the parking space. As much as Frank knew that he was sad, completely numb from the loss of his friend, there was still the part of him that was thrumming over his boss. As sad as he was and no matter how much he hurt, inside it was still there, just knocked off balance right now by what had happened today.

 

“What’s going to happen about my car?” Frank asked, wondering when Gerard drove passed it, shaking his head because of Frank sloppy parking. The vehicle that was practically in two spaces. it was obvious that Frank wasn’t completely sober now as Gerard drove out of the car park.

 

“You can pick it up tomorrow. There was no way I was going to let you drive home in your state.”   
  
Frank wanted to protest, saying that the only state he was in was a very sad and numb one. One that put him on the brink of crying at any given moment. He held his tongue though, remembering the telling off he had received from Gerard. Don’t start him up again, Frank thought, he made a point and you don’t want to make him cross again.

 

Frank just nodded, hating the idea of having to get dropped off at work on a saturday just so he could drive back home. Not that he knew what home was right now. The idea of going back to Jamias place just seemed like far too much for him right now. Even thinking about it made Frank sniff, fighting back tears that were threatening to fall yet again.

 

“Are you okay?” Gerard asked, glancing over at Frank briefly, seeing him wipe his nose and his eyes quickly.

 

“No,” Frank said dryly, a smile being forced onto his lips. Some form of coping mechanism kicking in because even though he had just told Gerard the truth, he didn’t want to end up crying again. Crying on his boss was enough for tonight, or at least he hoped that, “I feel like shit that has been dragged through hell and back one too many times.”

 

“Understandable,” Gerard nodded in the darkness, focussing on the road while Frank leant his head against the window, trying to remain all in one piece right now. It was so hard, harder than he thought. Maybe the drinking hadn’t helped as much as he thought it would have done. Numbing him in a good way, but instead it had loosened him up, loosened up how he felt about all of this. His bottom lip wobbled a little in the dark, but somehow he held it together, not wanting to break down again. At least this time he wouldn’t have been crying on his boss, just in his car which probably wasn’t as bad, but at the same time, it was probably worse, “Frank...can I ask you a question?”

 

“Sure.” Frank said flatly, looking towards Gerard, waiting to see what he was going to ask.

 

“Did the baby…” Gerard stopped himself, trying to pick his words carefully. If the worst had happened then he didn’t want to make Frank worse by reminding him of what he had been through.

 

“She's okay,” Frank told him, knowing exactly what Gerard was struggling to ask, answering before he could finish questioning, “She's at the hospital now.”

 

“Does she have a name?” Gerard queried curiously, wondering if Frank was going to divulge that information. He was fragile. Gerard didn't know if he was going to be willing to answer.

 

“Mia,” Frank sighed, remembered the tiny person that he had held swaddled in the blankets the moment she had been born. The tiny little girl with the shock of dark hair who looked just like her mother. Franks chest ached then, the memory of what he had been through ripped through his mind, making him pause for a second before he continued, “Mia Jinx Nestor. I named her before I left.”

 

“What's going to happen now?” Gerard asked, wondering where Frank stood in all of this, “Who is the legal guardian? Does she have a father in the picture or is she going to end up being put up for adopt-”

 

“Look, I appreciate you being concerned and asking me all this stuff,” Frank cut Gerard off, finding it all a bit too much to talk about right now. He felt bad enough leaving Mia alone at the hospital. Yes she was in good hands, but the idea of even considering what he could have done to help, Frank felt like he wouldn't have been able to help. The idea of adopting his best friends daughter, yes, it seemed like the right thing to do, but Frank knew that he wouldn't have been able to do it. Sometimes he could barely look after himself, let alone a small person who would have been completely dependant on him for so many years, “But I'm honestly not in the right frame of mind to be talking about all of this right now. I don't think I've quite processed what has happened today just yet.”

 

“Of course,” Gerard nodded, feeling like he may have overstepped the line a little with his questioning. Frank wasn't cry, that was a good thing, he just didn't want to start crying all over again because he had been made to talk about what he had witnessed and who he had lost, “I completely understand.”

 

For the rest of the drive, Frank remained silent. He didn't feel like talking. Just felt like being quiet with his head resting against the window of the passenger door, zoning out. Barely even noticing the surrounds that were passing him by as Gerard drove him. He didn't even realise where he was right now, assuming that Gerard was just driving him back to Jamias, even though he didn't want to be there. Too many memories would haunt him if he took a step into that house. The nursery that he had been helping Jamia to paint over the past week. The spare room that he had claimed as his own. Just everything about the house reeked of the new life he had been trying to build with his best friend. That was all just crumbling down around Frank and he honestly didn't want to even consider being in that house. Not that he had told Gerard where to take him. Gerard was just driving and Frank had no idea where he was driving him to. He didn't care to be perfectly honest, he was too down to care at all, barely holding it together in the passenger seat.

 

It was only when Gerard turned the car, slowing down, pulling into a driveway that Frank didn’t recognise. He lifted his head away from the window then, realising that Gerard hadn’t taken him home at all. It was then that he realised that how could Gerard possibly take him home if he didn’t know where his supposed home was. He looked out of the windscreen, seeing a large house in front of him. Had Gerard really brought him back to his house instead of taking Frank to where he had been staying with Jamia? Frank couldn’t quite believe it for a second as he took in the house. It was hard to notice detail in the dark, but just by first glance, it was definitely a fancy place. A lot fancier than he could ever afford, definitely the kind of place that Gerard could most certainly afford. Frank tried not to appear too in awe about the house as Gerard pulled the car up under the carport to the right of the house. Frank sat in silence, not entirely knowing what to say or do right now while Gerard turned off the ignition.

 

“Home sweet home,” Gerard spoke to himself, smiling somewhat in the dark, looking rather happy to finally be home. It was getting closer to midnight, Frank still couldn’t understand why he had been at the office for so long. Thank god he was though or Frank knew that he wouldn’t have been here right now. He probably would have been somewhere else, most likely with Ryan, making some stupid mistake that he would only regret in the morning when he was completely sober, “You coming boy?”   
  
Frank hadn’t noticed that Gerard had gotten out of the car, a little lost in his own head while Gerard got his bag, grabbing his attention from the back passenger door. he nodded. Frank said  _ yeah  _ to himself, finding it almost weird that he was moments away from being in his bosses house. Maybe this was just where he was going to be while Gerard called him a taxi. Not wanting to stay at the office any longer, bringing Frank home with him was probably the easiest option. Keep him company until he sent him off to his own place. That idea sounded horrible, but Frank didn’t know if it was a good idea to ask his employer if it was okay for him to stay the night just because he didn’t want to be alone.

 

Frank got out of the car, following Gerard up to the double front door, mouthing a  _ wow  _ quietly to himself. He admired the place while Gerard searched in his bag, looking for house keys. The house was almost villa like, the outer walls painted off-white with terracotta red tiles lining the roof. Ivy climbed up the walls to the right of the front door, making Frank look up, following the creeper, noticing the shutters on the windows. The whole place screamed power and money, including the garden which looked immaculate, even in the dark. 

 

Frank followed Gerard obediently once he had found his house keys, opening the door to let Frank follow him in. He watched as Gerard shut the door behind the two of them, kicking off his shoes, revealing mustard yellow socks with scarlet toes and heels. They really didn’t look like anything Frank would have expected Gerard to wear, but then again, he had also never expected to be setting foot into his bosses house so maybe tonight was all about new things, including kicking off his own shoes, copying Gerard. Assuming that was what he was going to have do to. Frank did not want to get another telling off from Gerard is he walked into the house still wearing his shoes.

 

Frank watched Gerard hang his bag near where he had set his shoes down. He just stood there, not sure if he should follow any further. The inside of the house made him mouth a wow as Gerard walked across his front room, towards the kitchen area. 

 

It was like a realtors wet dream, the inside of the house. Frank swore he had need seen or even set foot into a house that was this pristine, the kind of place that you would only see in brochures when you were looking to buy a place. Definitely a place that Frank knew he would never be able to afford. He walked down the few small steps from the main entrance way, coming into the open planned front room with cream painted walls and white wainscot lining the room. Frank chose to stay put, standing on the wooden floor, avoiding the rug which he really didn’t want to put his well worn socks onto. It looked far too clean to even be walked on. Same for the cream couch and armchairs that surrounded a leather Ottoman, far too clean to sit on. Matching cushioned lined the long couch that could probably easily fit five people, Did Frank dare to sit down on one of the chairs while Gerard stood by the breakfast bar, shrugging his blazer off, loosening up his tie before starting to go through his mail? Hell no, Frank valued himself and he really did not want to get told off. He just stood there, hands in his pants pockets, not really knowing what to do with himself while Gerard tore open an envelope, reading what he had been sent.

 

“You have a nice house.” Frank piped up, feeling like he needed to break the awkward silence that had hung over the place once he had gone and set foot into his bosses house. For a second he thought he was dreaming that he was here, but then again, if he actually was dreaming then Gerard would not have been going through his mail right now. Probably would have been going through Franks pants instead, begging for him to fuck him.

 

“Thank you,” Gerard smiled at Frank, not noticing the blush that had crept onto his cheeks thanks to his thought process. A little too far away to see it. Frank was grateful for that while he tried to reel in his crush which was trying to make itself known now amongst all of the shit that had gone down today, “Lindsey does like to keep this place in order, sees herself as a bit of an interior designer,” Gerard chuckled to himself, “Plus there is something about a clean house, it really does wonders for the psyche.”

 

Frank nodded at that, not really knowing what to say while he looked around, noticing the vase of roses between both armchairs. That touch definitely had Lindsey written all over it. Other little things about the place screamed Lindsey too. The pictures that lined the walls of the staircase to his right, the oriental vibe from them just came across as something that she would have decided to hang right there. The curtains by the large patio doors to his left, how warm the kitchen felt just by looking at the rows of lights that hung by the back wall. This place had a womans touch. Definitely the house of a happily married couple.

 

“So…” Gerard spoke, still going through his mail while he caught Franks attention, making him look across the room at him, “Do you want to tell me what you did this evening before you came into the office?”

 

Frank swallowed at that question. Gerard already knew that he had been drinking so he couldn’t have told him off for that again, could he? It wasn’t even like Frank had done much either. Just went on the smallest of benders which resulted in two drinks and him turning up to cry on his boss. If anything, it was probably quite pathetic, but Gerard wanted an answer, pausing what he was doing, giving Frank a look that let him know he needed to answer quicker.

 

“Well I left the hospital and drove to the nearest bar I could find,” Frank began to answer, looking down at his feet while he spoke, “Then some asshole wouldn’t leave me alone, so I left the bar, ended up in a liquor store before parking up in a car park behind a bookshop. Stayed there for a bit, cried for a bit,” Frank blushed because even though he had cried against Gerard, he had admitted to crying some more and that just made him feel somewhat emasculated, “I drank some more before I came to the office in a probably pathetic attempt to find someone who I could talk to.”

 

“Lucky I was still in the office then,” Gerard commented, looking over another letter that he had gone and opened, “Another few minutes and I would have left. You wouldn’t have been able to get into the office. Where would you have gone then?”   
  
“I don’t know,” Frank sighed, ignoring the fact that he had considered Ryan as a last resort. That didn’t matter anymore now and Gerard didn’t need to know about that. Frank had found him in the office, that was all that mattered, “Probably would have just crashed in my car...sorry, I didn’t mean-”   
  
“I knew what you meant,” Gerard waved a hand, “I’m sure staying here will be much more comfortable than sleeping in that beat up old ride of yours.”

 

Frank wanted to protest and say that his car wasn’t that old, but then he would have been lying. Still riding around in the same car that his parents bought him when he passed his driving test. It was like a prized possession for him.

 

“I’m staying here?” Frank stuttered out, not sure if he had heard Gerard right, “I just thought…”   
  
“You thought?”   
  
“I dunno,” Frank shrugged, “I just thought that you would send me on my way once you had made sure that I was okay.”

 

“You are a valuable member of my staff,” Gerard spoke, “I’m not just going to send you on your way because I am able to judge if you are okay or not. Clearly you aren’t, but I’m not keeping you here just because I can sense that.”

 

“Then why am I staying here?” Frank asked, trying to ignore how his crush was doing a number on his imagination right now. Why Gerard was really keeping him here. Now is not the time for this, Frank thought. Really not the time.

 

“Because it is nearly midnight, I am tired and I will admit, I would rather put you into bed upstairs than have to drive you to where you live,” Gerard admitted, walking into the kitchen, “Now, can I get you anything? Some food?”   
  
“Not hungry.” Frank told him, really not feeling like he could stomach food right now. 

 

“A coffee to clear your head?”   
  
“Thanks, but I’m good.” Frank smiled weakly at Gerard, feeling a little more confident with his surrounds. He still refused to step onto the rug, sticking to the wooden floor, treating the rug like it was lava in a children's game. Avoid it at all costs. He walked around, feeling bad for not accepting Gerards offers, but he really wasn’t feeling up to anything. If anything, all Frank wanted to do was just sleep and pretend that today hadn’t happened at all.

 

“Is there anyone you need to call? Let them know where you-”   
  
“Honestly, sir,” Frank cut him off, not noticing how Gerard looked at him with utter shock for interrupting him mid sentence, “You have done more than enough for me already. I don’t know how I can repay you, but I’ll be okay. You don’t have to run around after me.”

 

“You could always repay by having common decency and manners,” Gerard snapped, making Frank flinch, wishing that he was still stood on the same spot where he was a few minutes before. The look on Gerards face was enough for him to know that he had done wrong. Shame swirled in his stomach for making his more than kind boss angry again, but at the same time, it felt weird and Frank knew that now wasn’t the time to be analysing every weird thought that he had, “You do not interrupt people when they are talking, boy. You speak when it is your turn. Do you understand?”   
  
Frank nodded, feeling like it was better that he didn’t speak right now. Whatever he said, he would probably only end up making him more annoyed. Hopefully not so annoyed that he would send him out into the night without any idea where he was or how he was going to get home.

 

“You answer me when I ask you a question.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“I’m sorry, yes what?” Gerard raised his eyebrows at Frank.

 

“Yes, sir.” He finally answered correctly, feeling like a dog who had just been told off, tail between its legs, not knowing what was going to happen now. Frank avoided looking at Gerard, only glancing at him when he heard movement, listening until it sounded like he had stopped. Frank looked around then. He saw him standing near the stairs, looking back at him. Almost like he was about to click his fingers at him to hurry up. Frank felt like he had that looked nailed down now. If Gerard moved and looked at him like he was running out of patience, it usually meant that he was supposed to follow him. That was all that he had learnt so far.

 

Frank followed Gerard up the stairs, going down the hallway past two bookcases filled with books and ornaments and probably things that Lindsey thought were aesthetically pleasing for the house. Turning right, the walked past a door on their right before Gerard came to a stop by another one on their left. This was clearly where Frank was going to be sleeping that night, it was more than obvious when Gerard opened the door for him, signalling for him to enter the room.

 

Frank fought back another wow when he entered the room, totally in awe about how everything in this house seemed to just seep class. This wasn’t like the small box room that Frank had gotten used to sleeping in at Jamias place with the single bed shoved in the corner. No. The room spread out vastly, at least three times bigger than what had been his bedroom. The walls were painted cream again. A full size wardrobe spread out over one side of the room, silver-grey doors hiding what was stored behind them. A made double bed sat opposite the wardrobe, bedding white and pristine with a thrown on the end of the bed that matched the colour of the wardrobe doors. The bed was made like they were expecting someone to be sleeping in it. The bedside lights that were sitting on drawers at either side of the bed, they were switched on, lighting up the place like someone was using this room on a regular basis. Plus a miniature chandelier like light fitting hung from the ceiling, making the whole room look like it was worth more than anything Frank could ever afford.

 

“You can sleep in here tonight,” Gerard told Frank, walking over to what he thought were more cupboards against a wall. Frank couldn’t hide his amazement this time though when Gerard opened up a door, revealing an en suite bathroom, “You should have everything you need in here. I’ll only be down the hall from you anyway.”

 

“How many bedrooms does this place have?” Frank asked curiously, sitting on the edge of the bed for a moment, bouncing a little like a kid.

 

“Four.” Gerard answered simply.

 

“And are all the rooms made out to look like this?” Frank said, going to lie back on the bed, sprawling out because really, this was by far the most comfortable bed he had ever lay on. Even if he felt like shit, he knew that he was at least going to get a decent night's sleep while he did feel down.

 

“Lindsey likes to have all the rooms made just in case we have any unexpected visitors.” Gerard answered, looking pointedly at Frank.

 

“And where is Lindsey?”   
  
“You do ask a lot of questions don’t you,” Gerard commented, “Probably in bed asleep. I told her not to wait up for me- now, I’m assuming that all you have is what you are wearing?”

 

“I am how you see me,” Frank smirked, a showing off form of coping mechanism kicking in. Or more what he had drunk hadn’t fully worn off yet. Hence why he was so chatty. Not just because he was looking for a distraction to take his mind off the fact that he had lost his best friend. Just because he was his brain was still a little fuzzy from the alcohol. Not drunk, more tipsy as Gerard shook his head at how Frank was being, “Nothing more, nothing less.”

 

“I think I have some spare pyjamas that you can borrow.” Gerard sighed, telling Frank that he wouldn’t be a moment.

 

And in that moment that was when Franks facade slipped from him. In the few minutes that Gerard was gone, realisation hit that he was really alone. Jamia was gone and it was unfair. Ryan was gone but that was fair. Frank knew that he would have gone mad if he’d have stayed together with him for any longer. There was no way that Frank was going back to living with his parents because then that would have been like a complete loss for him. Back to where he began. A grown man unable to cope with life, relying on his parents.

 

But he was a grown man who was struggling. He sat up on the bed, trying to hold it together. The illusion was completely gone from him now. He had no idea how he had been able to hold it together for so long. Maybe it was Gerard. Maybe it was his demeanour that had helped Frank to hold it together. He was strong so Frank could be strong. Without him the walls crumbled around Frank, leaving how he really was, more broken than he was a month ago. Trying so hard to hold it together even though he was losing that fight when he fought the sting in his eyes, squeezing them shut only to let the tears fall once again.


	23. Chapter 21.2: Grief Does Not Change You, it Reveals You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I'm not tooting my own horn or whatever, but I honestly do love this chapter and am so proud of it. Before I worked on this one, I was in the middle of a few month long writers block, specifically unable to write content like what is in this chapter. This chapter though, it broke my block and now I just love it and I love what I am writing so please stay tuned for more that I hope you will enjoy 
> 
> Any errors, apologies, but we think we got them all :)

When Gerard came back into the room, holding onto clothes that Frank could wear to bed, he found him sat up on the bed, shoulders shaking, his hands covering his face while he sobbed. Gerard's immediate reaction was to hold the boy, like he had done earlier. Frank hadn’t even noticed that he had come back into the room. He only noticed when he felt hands on his arms, pulling him up from the bed, doing what they had done earlier, wrapping around his frame while he quietly sobbed against Gerard chest once more.

  
“Sorry,” Frank apologised quietly when he calmed down enough to say something to him, trying to wipe his nose on the back of his hand instead of on Gerard's shirt, “I need to stop doing this.”   
  
“Nonsense,” Gerard soothed him, “Clearly you need to let it out so isn’t it better to have someone with you while you go through this?”   
  
“Probably right.” Frank spoke against his chest, still crying but somehow feeling calmer. Was Gerard really having such a calming effect on him? Being soothed just because he was there, holding him, reassuring him that it was okay for him to cry. There was nothing wrong with what he was doing. The whole, better out than in. Frank knew that he wouldn’t keep it in though, he wasn’t strong enough to hold it all in. Every emotion that he had felt today, it would all just come out of him whether Gerard was there for him or not.   
  
But Gerard really was having such an effect on him. An overwhelming sense of security and comfort took over Frank. The way Gerard was holding him so close, one hand on his back, the other in his hair. Totally new and so unexpected. This was not how a boss acted when one of his staff came to him in distress. But then again, Frank had only worked for Ryan's parents before this so really, he had very little experience of how bosses acted. This could easily have been completely normal, and if it was, it was beginning to have an affect on Frank.   
  
Gerard was again calming, Frank was grateful for then when he went silent against him, sniffing occasionally, attempting to compose himself before he moved on from this moment. The thing was, Frank didn’t want to separate from this moment. Being held by Gerard was doing something to his head. Numbness being overwhelmed by a need to not feel what had happened today. Erase that numbness with someone who was clearly there for him. Gerard had not only been there for him, but he had brought him to his home, putting him up for the night which really, Frank was more than grateful for. But what he was truly grateful for right now was how he felt so secure in Gerard's arms. Something about it.    
  
His clouded mind cleared, like everything made sense for a fleeting second. Everything slotted into place like it was supposed to be like that. It wasn’t, but with how Frank felt and how he wanted to not feel right now and how he felt for a certain someone who was embracing him for what felt like longer than usual, it made sense. It felt right. A month of hiding couldn’t go on into two months, three months, six months, a year, more? 

 

This was an in the moment kind of thing and as much as Frank knew he really should have thought about this a bit more than he actually had done, he didn’t think at all because thinking would slow him down more than the alcohol had and then what if Gerard moved away. What if he left the room after patting him on his shoulder, wishing him a goodnight and hoping that he felt better in the morning. No, he wouldn’t feel better in the morning because he had missed his opportunity the night before.   
  
An opportunity he shouldn’t have taken, but Frank honestly didn’t want to weigh up the pros and cons of what he was about to do. A month alone and now that he was truly alone, he didn’t want to feel that for however much time he could grab hold of.    
  
Plus he was right there, still holding onto him. Exposed skin from where Gerard had loosened off his tie and unbuttoned his top two buttons. It was so tempting when Frank was this close to him. Pale skin Frank remembered from countless dreams. Just a little. Test the water. Frank knew that he wasn’t that drunk to be making a stupid decision. Maybe drunk on attraction, but that was harmless and how could it be wrong when all that Frank had felt for the past month seemed right.   
  
Frank moved tentatively, not sure if Gerard was onto what he was doing. He was still holding onto him, still comforting him. Frank just couldn’t help himself when he had this kind of connection with Gerard already. So close, probably closer than any boss would be with him. There was definitely something that was pushing Frank closer, holding his own breath for a second, only inhaling because Gerard did smell incredible. Like vanilla and peppermint, all caught in Franks nose, intoxicating him more before he broke the small space between himself and where he was aiming for.   
  
“Frank…” Frank heard when he had his lips pressed to Gerard's neck, kissing him. Doing what he had only ever dreamed of doing to the man who he had really fallen hard for. Frank swore that he heard Gerard hum softly over what he was doing, maybe even leaning into it more than he thought he would. Definitely for it when Frank felt fingers on his chin, tilting him to look at Gerard. Focussing right on where he had actually wanted to kiss him. That had been too much of a bold move to make straight away. Even Frank knew that going to kiss his boss out right was a risky thing to do.    
  
But Gerard kissing him back. That was a little unexpected but totally something that Frank was more than on board with.   
  
Frank never in a million years would have expected Gerard to kiss him after making a move on him. He assumed that Gerard would have pushed him away, told him that it was wrong and that he should just forget about anything ever possibly happening between them. That was why Frank kept it so secret. His itsy bitsy huge crush on Gerard. But this was totally unexpected. Gerard reciprocating, actually instigating the kiss.    
  
Frank felt his insides warm when Gerard kissed him, lips moving to deepen the kiss. This really should have been the kind of thing that only Frank would fantasise about happening, but Gerard had a hand in Franks hair, one on the small of his back, holding him so close. Closer than when Gerard had been trying to comfort him, molding together near perfectly as Frank stepped it up a notch, sliding his tongue along Gerard's bottom lip, hoping to give him the hint that it wasn’t just a moment of making out he wanted right now. A month of going without, having nothing but your own hand and a mind full of sordid fantasies to get you through the night, Frank was wanting this to escalate into something more than what it already was.   
  
But Frank still felt hands on his forearms, pushing him away, stopping what they had been doing, “I don’t think you’re thinking too clearly right now.”   
  
“I am,” Frank protested, knowing that Gerard was more than likely pulling out the you’re drunk card just because he had gone and made a move. But Gerard had been the one to make the proper move. Frank had just hinted by kissing his neck. he hadn’t been the one to actually go ahead and kiss him back. Gerard had done that. Something that Frank had only envisaged him doing. It had taken Frank a lot of guts to finally the first move, even after everything that had happened. He just wanted a least a little something that was going to put a brightener on his dark cloud and it seemed that Gerard had been more than willing to let him have that. Or at least he had until he pushed him away, “I’m not as drunk as you think I am.”   
  
“I never suggested that you were that drunk,” Gerard told him, looking at him. Frank frowned, wondering why Gerard was looking at him like he was trying to figure him out. Probably trying to work out why in the world Frank had made a move on him. That was simple. He was horrifically attracted to Gerard. Wanting nothing more than to have something that was a lot more meaningful than a employer employee relationship. It probably wasn’t even a good thing to do. The workplace relationship. Gerard was probably weighing up the repercussions over what he had done. Realising he had made a big mistake by kissing his assistant after he was only trying to be a good guy by looking after him, “Frank…”   
  
“Yeah?” Frank asked, staring him down to try to prove to Gerard that he wasn’t drunk. A little buzzed from the Jack. A little giddy from Gerard, but he definitely wasn’t drunk. If Gerard was worried that he had taken advantage of him when he kissed him, then he was most certainly wrong. Frank wanted it more than anything right now.   
  
Frank never got a verbal response from Gerard. However, he got what he thought was quite possibly the best response he could have ever gotten from him right now. For a moment, Frank had thought that Gerard was going to turn him down. Just tell him to go to bed and sleep it all off. But no, Gerard did not do what Frank had expected him to do. He did something far greater which made Frank go weak at the knees. 

 

Grabbing hold of Frank tightly and pulling him closer, Gerard kissed him again, really meaning it when lips clashed roughly. The whole moment of Gerard kissing him made Frank feel like every dream that he had had recently was all of a sudden coming true. Every stolen glance had been worth it. Every daydream which he had to snap out of when Derek or someone else at work spoke to him, all totally worth it. They weren’t wasted now. They all boiled down to this moment in time as Gerard continued to kiss him, Frank kissing back, desperate for more, clinging onto Gerard's shirt. Pawing at him, whimpering when Gerard grazed teeth on his lip, tugging slightly.   
  
Gerard stopped again though. Frank got frustrated when he pulled away for a second time. Was Gerard just messing him around? Was this something he wanted but when he actually got what he wanted, he wasn’t sure if he actually wanted it? Wanted Frank? Frank huffed, feeling his heart beating hard in his chest. The butterflies in his stomach were not calming down. A month without had left Frank needy. The fact that Gerard had been this way to him, it made him believe that something was going to happen. One of his many dreams was probably going to come true.   
  
Apparently not though as Gerard raked his hands through his hair, taking a moment.   
  
“Why did you stop again?” Frank asked, his annoyance coming through in his words. Gerard looked at him, but didn’t say a word, “Did I fuck up?”   
  
Gerard didn’t answer him, looking away from him this time.   
  
“Look, sir, Gerard,” Frank said, getting his attention quickly when he referred to him that way, “If you’re worried about me being drunk and taking advantage of me...you wouldn’t be. Please, if anything, I need this. I can prove to you that I’m not drunk.”   
  
Gerard watched Frank closely, not moving a muscle while his eyes went wide. Frank knew what he wanted now. He knew what he wanted before, but something in him was burning hotter than it had done for so long. This was something that he couldn’t just let go, asking Gerard, begging Gerard to just let him show that he was okay. He was sober enough for this to happen. For this not to be misconstrued as him being taken advantage of.   
  
“Look…” Frank started, holding his arms out, standing still, touching his nose with a finger, showing Gerard that he was more than compos mentis. Proving that he was of sound mind, knowing exactly what he wanted, “I wouldn’t be able to do this if I was drunk. I can also do my alphabet backwards if I have to,” Frank continued, racking his brain, hoping and praying to god that he could actually do it now that he had told Gerard that he could, “Z, y, x, v...no, w. Okay, this is hard but I swear I’m-”   
  
“Oh shut up,” Gerard cut him off, coming to his senses over this, putting a hand on Franks chest, pushing him down onto the bed before he took a step closer.   
  
Frank gasped when all of a sudden Gerard was on the bed with him, spreading his legs apart, getting in between before he was on top of him, leaning down to kiss him again. Frank tried to crawl up the bed a little, get himself into a better position, but Gerard held him down, one hand on his shoulder, fingers looping under one of his suspenders, pulling it off swiftly. Doing the same to the other one before Frank had even realised what he was doing, far more focussed on the fact that Gerard had moved, attached himself to his neck, sucking and biting on the now sensitive skin, making Frank keen at the contact.    
  
Separating from their kiss, Gerard focussed on ridding Frank of his shirt. Popping the buttons open, tugging the shirt free from where it had been tucked into his pants. Frank suddenly felt so exposed while Gerard was still clothed, but it gave him such a rush. Stomach knotting, wanting to be completely naked right now, Gerard the same too. He just paused though, looking down at Frank, eyes scanning his rising and falling chest.   
  
"You weren't joking when you said you had quite a few tattoos," Gerard commented, looking at the ink that adorned the skin in his view. The swallows that sat above Franks beltline, the Hope and flame above his nipple. Gerard already knew about his half finished sleeve and the anchor with NJ on either side of it. The scorpion too, but the hidden ones were far more interesting right now. Never been seen before until right now as Frank lay on the bed, looking up at Gerard, "How many more do you have that I don't know about?"   
  
"You'll have to find out," Frank answered cockily, knowing full well that Gerard was going to find more. He wanted him to find more. That meant that he would have to take more of his clothes off. Get him naked and then Frank could do what he had only dreamt of doing to Gerard. So many things to make him sound the way that Frank hoped he would.    
  
Frank lifted his hips up when Gerard went for them, unfastening the belt, tugging it open before getting his pants undone. Discarded on the floor, Gerard was still fully dressed by the time he rid Frank of the last few items he was wearing. Completely naked while he was still dressed, looking down at Frank with hunger in his eyes. The look that Frank had been dying to see on him for oh so long. The look that was going straight to his dick, already half hard and starting to ache.    
  
"You are a wonder," Gerard spoke, his words getting lost in Franks head when he leant down, pressing kisses along his jawline, working higher until teeth grazed against his ear. Frank whimpered, knowing that he had wanted to do just that to Gerard, but the feeling of it, Gerard's hot breath right in his ear, it made his skin prickle. The knots in his stomach tightened more. Frank couldn't help how he sounded. The noise escaped his mouth before he even registered that it had been him that made it. After being so used to quiet sex with barely any sort of feedback or need for it to be vocal, it was abnormal. Such an unusual thing, but Frank couldn't help it when Gerard was right up against his ear, neck, rolling his hips down, the fabric of his pants along with the line of his erection causing friction against Franks cock which felt more than divine.   
  
Frank wanted to take the opportunity to finally get Gerard to the same point as him. More than curious about how he looked without any clothes on, especially after what Frank had envisaged, he tried to take control of the situation. Wanting to be where Gerard was, but on him. Right between his legs, undressing him, moving this all along because all Frank wanted was to be with Gerard right now. Be in him, finally having sex with him. Trying to move it all along, Frank attempted to shift under Gerard, hoping to end up flipping him over so he was on top of him on the bed. He didn't think it would be difficult to get Gerard into that position, but he was proved wrong when he attempted. Feelings hands grabbing hold of his wrists, pinning him down onto the bed. The weight of Gerard pressed down on him, stunning him. Frank tried to free his wrists from Gerard's grip, but the attempt was pointless. He was strong, not willing to let him go while Gerard looked down at him.   
  
"Looks like someone is going to have to learn who is in charge here," Gerard growled. Frank felt himself clench at the authoritative tone. His insides bubbling away under his skin. Just the way he spoke made Frank feel like he was melting onto the bed. Just the way Gerard sounded while looking at him in that way. 

 

Frank bit back a whimper, wondering how this was all going to work if Gerard was insistent that he was going to be the one who was in charge of all of this. In charge of how they had sex. That turned Frank on more, not that he understood why Gerard's words and the way he spoke was affecting him. He just decided to roll with it. It felt good. The whole build up of it felt better than anything he had ever done with Ryan, and that was saying something. The torture of it all because all Frank wanted was for this to be happening right now, having sex with Gerard, but no. Still he was dressed, climbing off the bed, leaving Frank lacking the closeness and the intense connection that the two of them had had,  "Don't move, do you understand?"   
  
Frank propped himself up on the bed only to flop back down when he had nodded at Gerard. Not moving seemed like such an easy thing to do, but with an aching dick that was tempting him, it was harder than Frank thought it would be. Only wanting to reach out for a moment while Gerard was gone, jack off for a second until he heard movement outside the bedroom. However, Frank didn’t dare. Something about the way Gerard spoke to him, telling him what not to do, it sat in Frank's head so obediently. He actually listened and waited patiently, hoping that Gerard would just hurry the fuck up.

 

He returned moments later, walking back over to the edge of the bed, tossing some lube and a condom down onto the mattress. Frank swallowed at the sight of that, knowing that he was more than likely going to be on the receiving end of something. Gerards dick. So insistent on who was in charge. It was obvious that Frank had got the wrong end of the stick in his fantasies. His dreams switching Gerard around because of what he had been used to for so many years. Now it was different, world flipped over and spun around. Frank felt giddy about the idea of it, actually being fucked, Gerard wanting to fuck him, hopefully fuck him into the mattress, Frank was so turned on right now that he was pretty sure he would let Gerard do absolutely anything to him if he asked.

 

Frank propped himself up on his elbows for a second when Gerard started to undress. Finding himself unable to look away, completely fascinated and fixated when the tie was removed from around his neck, discarded on the floor without a care. Frank had been so disappointed in the fact that Gerard wasn’t as naked as him, still fully dressed, but that was changing now. Frank wasn’t entirely sure if he had been dreaming up until this point. Had Gerard already put him to bed and now because of his crush he was dreaming about having sex with Gerard in his house? In the very bed that Frank was more than likely sleeping in? He really hoped that he wasn’t dreaming. This had to be real. Pinching himself would probably prove if this was all real or not, but when Gerard started to unbutton his shirt, ridding the item of clothing from his frame, Frank was one hundred percent sure that he wasn’t dreaming

 

Frank couldn’t pull his eyes away from Gerard while he stripped. Having only imagined what he would look like in dreams, he found himself unable to look away. Seeing pale skin that he expected, watching as Gerard undid his belt, undoing his pants, pushing the fabric down around his thighs until it dropped to his feet. Frank felt like he had just had the best present unwrap itself in front of him. Standing there in nothing but a black pair of underwear that left very little to the imagination. Just as Frank expected, hoped, but so much more at the same time. Tight underwear revealing the line of his cock, making Frank mouth water. If only he could reach out and touch him, reach out and hold the weight of him in his hand. Frank shifted closer to the edge of the bed when Gerard looped fingers under the elastic of his underwear, pulling them down.

 

He was bigger than Frank had expected, thicker as Gerard took his cock in his hand, stroking slowly, eyes trained on Frank while he edged closer to him still. Frank wished that he had his hand wrapped around it. Wished that he was the one to make Gerard hum when he rubbed his thumb over the head. Frank shifted again, ignoring how Gerard had told him not to move. He was back in the room now. Back to where he needed to be and Frank just wanted to touch him. Feel him. Taste him. It had been so long since this kind of thing had happened for him. Frank felt nervous, unsure of if he had to ask if he could because he had gotten so used to having to ask. Asking just to get a no. Gerard could not say no. He wasn’t Ryan. He was a completely different person who actually wanted to do this with hi,. Not just feeling obligated to have sex with him because it was something that they had to do once in a while. Once in a blue moon. Once on Frank’s birthday.

 

Frank didn’t even have the mental capacity to ask Gerard if he could do what he wanted to do right now. All he could focus on when he sat on the edge of the bed, toes curling into the carpet with anticipation, so close to Gerard, was that he wanted to do this more than anything right now. Postpone the sex just for a moment because Frank felt like he had forgotten what it was like to feel the weight of someone in his hand. Feel the weight and taste of someone in his mouth. Listen to Gerard moan while he had his mouth wrapped around his cock. It was all he wanted right now, even when he got the gumption to push Gerards hand away from himself, replacing it with his own, pumping slowly, listening to the breathy moan that escaped from Gerard.

 

Frank knew what he wanted to do and for a moment, it felt weird. He had gotten so used to someone telling him no everytime he asked if he could have or give a blowjob. No if he even had a thought about oral sex. Being so used to the rejection, Frank half expected Gerard to say no to him. Just so used to it. Not being able to do something that he actually enjoyed doing. The fun taken away to the point that Frank hesitated, still running his hand along Gerards cock. mouth watering, but he resisted because of a certain someone. Stopping himself because of how someone had been.

 

Frank knew that he couldn’t let that stop him though. Gerard was looking down at him like he knew Franks exact thoughts. He knew what Frank wanted to do and he was just looking at him like he had no idea why he was holding off. Why he had started already. Frank tested the water, running a wet line with the tip of his tongue on the underside of Gerards cock. He went for it, fighting back a smile when Gerard groaned, a  _ fuck  _ falling from his lips, his breathing faltering when Frank ran the ball of his tongue piercing along the length. He definitely hadn’t lost his touch and Gerard definitely didn’t sound like he was going to stop him. Not even acting like he was moments away from stopping Frank. More than happy for this as Frank wrapped his mouth around the head of his cock, tongue lapping over the slit.

 

“Jesus…” Gerard husked, looking down at Frank, watching him swallow around his cock, trying to take as much in as possible. Cheeks hollowed, Frank tried to ignore how his gag reflex was protesting, not entirely happy about the intrusion which had gone and become an unusual thing for him, what with the lack of oral sex. Frank however was more than happy, humming when Gerard praised him for what he was doing, loving how Gerard ran his hand through his hair, taking hold of strands tightly, “Fuck.”

 

Frank pulled off for a second, a line of spit connecting himself to Gerard. Running his thumb over the spit slick head of his cock, Frank looked up at Gerard, seeing how he was looking down at him with hunger in his eyes. There was something else in his eyes though, something that made Franks stomach tighten exponentially, burning hot from the inside out, but he couldn’t put a finger on it. Didn’t even want to consider it when Gerard batted his hand out of the way, taking hold of his own dick before pushing it back into Frank mouth.

 

The ache hit Franks jaw quicker than he expected. The slick slide of cock against his tongue, trying to breathe evenly as Gerard took control, pushing further into his mouth, rocking himself off. His hand was still in Franks hair, holding tighter, taking some of the focus away from the dull pain in his jaw that Frank wished wasn’t there right now. So inexperienced with this. Not that Gerard had noticed or probably even cared. He just kept a hold of Frank, thrusting into the back of his mouth, loving how Frank was swallowing around him, making him moan around him when could feel every inch of him in his mouth. The thick length on his tongue turning him on more. The bitter taste of precome on his tongue. Gerard getting close, the thought alone making Frank whimper, pulling away from Gerard. Jacking him off for a second, Frank tongued at the slit, panting, needing Gerard to fuck him but at the same time, god how he didn’t want this to stop.

 

It didn’t last though. Gerard eventually pulled away, panting, clearly not wanting it to go this way. At one point Frank was more than happy for Gerard to come in his mouth, probably come on his face too with how horny he was. However Frank knew what he wanted and he also remembered what had been brought through. Why Gerard had disappeared for a moment, instructing him not to move. The lube. The condom. Of course Gerard wasn’t going to let Frank blow him until he came. Not with what he had on the cards. Nothing was going to stop that.

 

“Another time,” Gerard spoke, stroking his dick slowly. Frank hoped that there was going to be another fucking time now after he had said that. Not an empty promise because yes, Frank really wanted to blow him. Let Gerard fuck his mouth at some point, maybe even choke him on his dick a bit, Frank was an adventurous man when he was turned on, but he wanted to fuck. Be fucked. Have sex with Gerard. Let him be in charge of him if that was how they were going to do it. Frank was game as long as he finally got dick in his ass, “I have far better things to do with you right now.”   
  
Frank swallowed at that, so sure that he could feel his heart beating out of his own chest. So many thoughts passed through his mind thanks to Gerards words. Sordid thoughts of all the things that he could possibly do to him. Frank liked to believe he was an open minded guy, up for a lot of things, so Gerard saying that to him sent a shiver down his spine, a shock to his dick while he crawled back up the bed. Gerard joined him, spreading his legs apart, pushing Frank down onto the bed, a hand already on his dick which made Frank mewl at the feeling. Someone else's hand on his dick, Gerard stroking him while reaching for the lube, thumb rubbing over the piercing which he had discovered, making Frank cry out.

 

“Not just a tongue piercing you have then…” Gerard commented, removing his hand from Frank when he got the lube, leaving Frank breathless and a little embarrassed about how he sounded. Gerard didn’t seem to bat an eyelid though as he uncapped the lube, squirting some onto his fingers, making Frank clench because only his own fingers had ever been up his ass. Getting the angle right was tricky, but Gerard had the perfect angle, a straight shot. The idea of someone else fingering him, actually prepping him for the first time, it made Franks stomach drop to his feet, dick still aching, precome leacking onto his skin even though a wave of nerves passed through him, “You are more than fascinating, boy.”

 

The breath caught in Frank’s lungs when he felt fingers circling his hole. Gerard merely stroking him, teasing him, it had Frank arching his back, the lightest touch feeling so sensitive. Finally someone giving him the attention in bed, wanting to have sex with him, lube slick fingers touching him in ways that Frank had only dreamed of.

 

Frank bit his lip when the first finger slid in. The initial stretch not to bad. It felt kind of like the time he had jacked off in the shower after sleeping on the sofa, fingering himself at the same time. But this was so much better because it wasn’t him doing it to himself. He wasn’t trying to get the right angle, Gerard was sinking a finger in slowly at first, going easy until Frank relaxed around him, panting at the feeling of someone fucking him with fingers. Fingers when Gerard pushed in a second digit, listening to the guttural moan that left Frank.

 

“Go go,” Frank panted out, feeling Gerard’s hand gripping his thigh, the other one working magic on his ass. Gerard didn’t let up then, scissoring and curling his fingers in Frank who felt like he was melting onto the mattress. His insides bubbling so hot, he swore that he was ready. Frank just wanted Gerard to be in him. He could take it. Two digits going to three was more than enough for Frank once the burn of the stretch subsided and he was no longer uncomfortable. Impatient, Frank tried to sit up, wanting Gerard to hurry the fuck up, grabbing at the back of his head to pull him down on top of him, “Gerard, fuck, come on.”

 

“Eager boy,” Gerard commented, pulling his hand away from Frank, leaving him feeling empty. Desperate to be full again. Frank couldn’t prop himself up for long, the weight of the moment rendering him helpless, more needy than he thought he would ever be. He couldn’t remember a time before when he had been this turned on before. This desperate for sex. It was so new, like he had been doing it all wrong for so long and now Gerard was introducing him to how it could really be. How he didn’t have to be the one in control all the time. If he wanted to be a desperate little bitch who was more than happy to spread himself apart to get fucked, then he could. Hell, he was close to shifting and presenting himself to Gerard if it meant that he would hurry the fuck up, “Someone needs to learn some patience.” 

 

“Just come on,” Frank pleaded, getting a hand on himself, keeping himself teetering on the point of sheer bliss while Gerard grabbed the condom from between the folds of bedding, tearing the foil open between his teeth. Frank watched as he rolled the condom over himself, grabbing the lube again before coating himself up. Frank was more than ready. Giddy with it all. Thrumming over the fact that any moment now Gerard was going to be in him, fucking him, making him feel like he was on top of the world for once. Gerard pushed on Franks knees, opening him up more, getting right where he wanted him, the blunt tip of cock nudging at his hole, making Frank keen. So close, yet not there yet. Hanging by a thread, Frank dropped his head back against the bed, feeling frustrated, so damn good to go while Gerard tortured him with his cock, rubbing against his hole. Not pushing in just yet, smearing right against him. Frank was at the point of taking control of this all himself. Pushing Gerard over before climbing on top of him. Sink down on him because he was being too slow. Too much of a prick tease while he kissed and nipped at his neck, making Frank shudder beneath him.

 

And then Gerard took hold of the situation. Took hold of the base of his cock, starting to push against Frank. Push into him which took him by surprise, the air leaving his lungs involuntary when Gerard started to enter him. So much thicker than fingers. Burning, Frank bit his lip between his teeth, trying to breathe through Gerard slowly pushing into him. Every now and again getting him to wait, hold it for a second while he adjusted. 

 

It wasn’t like Frank had any experience with this either. Ryan was never one for mixing it up, being a complete bottom throughout their entire relationship. Never before had Frank had anyone wanted to have sex with him, fucking him. This was a first and Frank tried to take it, holding back on telling Gerard to stop completely. They had gotten this far, there was no going back. Frank knew to just relax. Breathe through it when Gerard edged in a little more, even though every fibre in his body was screaming at him to push Gerard away.

 

“Take me so well,” Gerard purred, probably sensing that Frank was trying his best. He didn’t want to show that it was uncomfortable. Frank knew that it was going to get good, it was just getting to that point, trying to ignore how it felt like he was splitting in two, “So tight, fuck.”

 

After what felt like forever, Gerard bottomed out. Frank lay there, panting, staring up at the ceiling until Gerard propped himself over him, leaning down to kiss him chastly. He felt so full, never felt like this before. Never having had someone buried deep inside of him. Going from nothing to Gerard in such a short space of time. Not knowing that he had it in him to be a bottom. The ache was still there, the burn sizzling but Gerard adjusted, moving in him slightly, making an  _ oh  _ escape from Frank when pleasure rippled through his core.

 

Frank felt like he couldn’t breathe. Gerard had started moving, slow at first, head dipped down low, grunting while he rocked his hips against him. He was thick and hard in him, leaving him speechless, holding onto the bed, feeling like he was disconnecting from his whole body. Unable to feel anything other than where Gerard was in him, pleasure and pain mixing together. The burn still there, making Frank try to relax more, breathing as evenly as possible through his nose while he closed his eyes.

 

Then he felt the press of lips against his forehead. Gerard leaning down and kissing him. Frank opened his eyes, looking up at Gerard, probably looked so hot and flushed, spread out on the white bedding. It was like he knew. Frank of course hadn’t wanted to say that he was struggling to adjust, having never had something or someone as big as Gerard in him, but he just got it. Or at least Gerard looked like he got it, going easy on Frank, giving him time to adjust while he rolled his hips against him, going flush with Franks ass.

 

And it wasn’t like Frank was hating it. It was just adjusting to Gerards girth. Relaxing to the point that eventually Frank was moaning on the bed. The ache subsiding, nothing but pleasure coursing through him from where they were connected. Gerard was silent, focussing on Frank while he held his head back, arching his back, thankful that he had put up with the initial growing pains. Finally reaping the benefits of it all. Never thinking that he would be the kind of guy who would make the most noises in bed, Frank tried to control it, holding back on the moans and the profanities, but he just couldn’t help it. Having Gerard speeding up when he asked him to, telling him to go faster, the moans fell from his lips involuntarily. Vulgar sounds that Frank lost all inhibitions over. He didn’t care when Gerard was thrusting into him, needing more, wishing that he had been taking it before this. Loving it, Frank didn’t want it to stop at all, panting out Gerards name every now and again when he hit a good spot or snapped in a little harder that made Frank convulse.

 

Gerard shifted halfway through, giving Frank a moment to catch his breath when he pulled out, leaving him feeling so open and used, loving the feeling more than he ever thought he would. Wrapping his arms under Franks legs, Gerard switched it up, bending him in a way that Frank honestly didn’t know he could go, keening like a whore, feeling more open and exposed to Gerard. begging for it when he pushed back in, the angle changing. It felt deeper, more intense. Frank swore that he was going to cry just from how good this felt when Gerard started up again, his hips snapping forward, Frank feeling so overwhelmingly full all over again. The best feeling ever, pushing him closer to the edge.

 

“I’m gonna come…” Frank panted out fast when it started to climb higher in him. Orgasm so close, he wanted to chase it but at the same time, he didn’t want it to be over. He wished that Gerard could keep this up for hours, pound into him like there was no tomorrow. The sound of skin slapping against skin pushed him even closer, leaking all over himself, Frank knew he couldn’t stop what was coming at him like a runaway train, but just a little longer. A little more time as Gerard changed the angle ever so slightly, hitting his prostate, making Frank cry out loudly, unable to hold off for much longer.

 

If at all. It hit Frank hard, the fire in him spreading in him, from the pit of his stomach, engulfing every part of his body. Like electricity crawling up his spine, reaching his brain to knock him for six. Panting, struggling to breathe through the strongest orgasm he had ever experienced. Better than any blow job. Better than any sex he had ever had before. So much better to the point that when he came, he came hard, streaking his stomach and his chest with come.

 

Coming untouched had Frank dumb, brain whiting out in his skull, feeling like none of his body was really attached to itself. Like he had just had the best massage in the whole world. Body like jelly as Gerard moved his arms, letting Franks legs drop back down onto the bed. His weight pressed down against Frank as he continued to thrust, so close. Frank peeled open his eyes, looking up at Gerard, noticing the sheen of sweat on his forehead, his hair sticking to his brow. He looked like sex, the greatest fuck Frank had ever had. Still going, thrusting into Frank harder. Hitting his prostate every now and again, he babbled out a weak moan, the pleasure too much on his sensitive nerves that were trying to work overtime, whole body trembling as Gerard chased.

 

If Gerard kept it up like this then Frank was sure that he would get hard again. He would go again, but Gerard was starting to pant. Starting to sound like he was about to come. His hands found Franks wrists again, pinning him down, not wanting him to move a muscle while he snapped into him. Frank attempted to wrap his legs around Gerard, holding him in place, wanting him to come deep in him, but sweat coated the both of them, he couldn’t grip, just lying there and taking it, watching as Gerards face contorted. There.

 

A few hard slams into Frank and Gerard was coming, panting heavily through his orgasm, riding it out as Frank clenched around him, feeling him pulse inside of him. Eventually he came to a stop, still inside of Frank, trying to catch his breath back. The room falling silent once more as the post sex haze started to surround them both.

 

Frank hissed when Gerard eventually moved, pulling out of him as gently as possible. As good as it felt, Frank felt sore. A good kind of sore that would remind him of what they had just done. Gerard removed the condom, tying it off before he tossed it into a waste bin in the room. Frank felt like he couldn’t move, paralysed, glued to the bed in a hot mess of post sex tingles. Gerard flopped down next to him on the bed, pushing his damp hair away from his brow.

 

Frank had no idea what to say to break the silence. He was completely fucked out to the point that he was more than happy to fall straight asleep, still catching breaths back. Gerard lay there, the pair both lay there, the whole moment that the two of them had been in finally sinking in.

 

Frank shifted on the bed, feeling a warm glow over his whole body, finally smiling as he draped an arm across Gerards chest. It was a natural thing for him to do after sex. Maybe Gerard wasn’t running off to clean his teeth like Ryan used to, but still, it was a habit that Frank enjoyed. The post sex closeness that Frank craved.

 

Gerard didn’t move for a moment. Frank wondered if he had made the moment awkward by going in to hold Gerard. he considered moving it away, but he felt like he had kept his arm there for too long now. If he moved the it would have been obvious that he noticed the tension. But he couldn’t keep it there, especially if Gerard wasn’t keen on it. Wanting nothing more than for Frank to just roll over and go to sleep.

 

Frank eventually went to move his arm, his heart sinking because even though he had had the best sex he had ever had, ever, missing out on the post sex cuddle was new for him. Changing a habit. he didn’t feel empty without it, it just felt different. The kind of different that he was going to have to take time to adjust to.

 

Gerard moved on the bed, rolling onto his side to face Frank. He took him by surprise when an arm wrapped around Frank, pulling him close. Gerard other hand sat behind his head while he looked at Frank, giving him a tired and weak smile. Nothing awkward apparently. The fact that his arm was around Frank, holding him close, closer when he pulled him in, he smiled, feeling warm on the inside as Gerard hugged him on the bed.

 

“Sleep.” Gerard muttered out, eyes closing because he was tired. He had said he was tired earlier, but still they had had sex. Exhausted now, Gerard breathed deeply with closed eyes. Frank smiled again, nodding at what Gerard had told him to do. Sleep. He was more than happy to do that now as he stayed put in Gerards hold, feeling comfortable and somewhat better than he had done earlier.

  
  



	24. Chapter 22: Guilt to the Spirit, What Pain is to the Body

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My co writer was so excited to do this chapter, I remember. It's another favourite one of mine so I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Any errors, apologies, but we think we got them all :)

Frank awoke the next morning in unfamiliar sheets, his legs wrapped up and his face buried in a feather pillow that wasn’t his, the linen smelling of a subtle citrus spray that was both refreshing and homely. He pressed his face deeper into the cushion before opening a bleary eye and looking around. He was greeted by beige walls and a four-poster bed in light wood, the white sheets embroidered with small little flowers and swirls.

 

He frowned, not quite yet realising where he was until his ass gave a dull throb, making him jerk, the night before came screaming back to him and his face flooded with colour. He rolled over, looking over to see the other side of the bed in disarray, the pillow with an obvious head indent.

 

Gerard.

 

Frank smiled proudly to himself at the realisation that he had bedded his boss, remembering how they had been entwined in this very bed, these very sheets, his very self.

 

But the boss in question was not where Frank had wanted, not in the bed with him and judging by the temperature of the sheets themselves, he had been gone for a while. And that’s when the panic set in, the realisation that not only did he have sex with his boss, he had sex with his married boss, in their house, with his wife somewhere nearby. Frank felt the well of guilt suddenly break in his stomach and he felt sick, he felt nauseated as the back of his skull began to prickle and tingle like it did when he was in trouble as a child.

 

Frank then thought it best that now was the time to leave, that he should get the hell out of dodge before Lindsey sees him. Hell, he didn’t even know what time it was.

 

Frank sat up, stretching and yawning involuntarily as he searched and scanned the floor for his clothes, coming up empty.

 

The only thing he had found was the pajama shorts Gerard had brought him the night before, a simple pair of navy blue cotton boxers that frank reckoned were probably Gerard’s. Even better- this small thought was both sarcasm and not.

 

Frank slipped out of the bed and grabbed the shorts, tugging them up and on with a snap of elastic on his waist before he cautiously snuck out of the room and walked down the hall- to find Gerard and his elusive clothing- taking everything in around him from the feel of the off-white carpet under his feet to the beige walls with the photos of Gerard and Lindsey that adorned the walls, the two of them at different ages and stages in their life. It was intriguing to see Gerard when he was younger, a similar hairstyle to his current but in a brilliantly shocking white platinum, the same confident and charming smile on his face.

 

The change in hair colour grew to a shock of black hair as well with Gerard looking a hell of a lot younger than the other two, possibly in high school. Frank chuckled then, smiling at the photo before he descended the wooden stairs into the main part of the house, open plan living room and kitchen that sprawled out larger than he remembered and everything in whites and beiges with splashes of colour here and there.

 

Frank walked into the kitchen where he found Gerard perched on a stool at the breakfast bar, a plate of eggs and toast in front of him and undoubtedly a coffee as he read through the paper in his hands. Frank looked at Gerard’s hands and swallowed, also taking in just how gorgeous he looked with morning sex hair and an oversized white Bowie t-shirt.

 

“Good morning, Frank.” Gerard broke the silence first as he turned a page in the newspaper, taking a sip of coffee, “I trust you slept well.”

 

“Yeah, thanks…” Frank replied awkwardly, “A little worse for wear though, not gonna lie.”

 

“Undeniably.” Gerard commented, “How are you feeling overall?”

 

“I’m…” Frank trailed off, thinking of how he wanted to reply, “I’m okay for now, I guess.”

 

“That’s good. I’m glad.” Gerard nodded, still reading before he glanced up, “And that face?”

 

Frank realised he had been grimacing, the pain in his ass was now starting to wake up as he did, and it was becoming more noticeable to the rest of him- especially considering he had never bottomed before, “I- Well I’m not gonna lie, I’m kinda sore.”

 

“My sincerest apologies, boy.” Gerard folded his newspaper and set it down, clutching his Star Wars mug in both hands, watching Frank over the rim of it, “Can I offer you some breakfast? Coffee? Tea?”

 

“I,” Frank withheld the urge to wince again, “I think I’m alright for now.”

 

“Frank…” Gerard replied in a warning tone, making the younger male’s stomach jump and his brain melt into submission.

 

“Yeah, okay.” Frank nodded, “But I don’t want you making it for me. You’ve done enough for me as it is.”

 

“If you insist.” Gerard gestured to the fridge, “Help yourself, boy.”

 

Frank nodded, turning to look at the chrome icebox beside him before he padded over to the monstrosity and opened it, both surprised and not by the filled contents. So fancy and full. Frank’s fridge was usually filled with the basics in his old house, not to mention the leftovers that littered the shelves. This was a wake-up and a half, his stomach choosing that moment to growl, obviously awake now. But the pain in his ass was getting somewhat worse and he cringed again, readjusting his leg.

 

“And that?”

 

Frank looked at Gerard, blushing somewhat that Gerard had seen him yet again, “Sorry. It’s just… Tender I guess.”

 

“But I’m sure you’re no stranger to it.” Gerard waved a nonchalant hand and Frank froze, looking from the fridge yet again to his boss with both eyebrows raised.

 

“I-” Frank was taken aback by that comment, “What?”

 

‘We don’t say ‘what’, we say ‘pardon’, boy. Don’t be so discourteous,” Gerard corrected, “And I simply stated an obvious fact, did I not?’

 

Frank was outraged at Gerard’s assumption “I’ll have you know, sir-”

 

“Oh, will you?” Gerard interrupted with an amused smirk, “Go on then, have me know.”

 

“That I- Well… I’ve never been on the receiving end before. Not until last night.”

 

Gerard spat out his coffee suddenly, back-spitting into his mug as he did a wide-eyed double take at Frank’s revelation. He looked up, coffee slightly dribbling to his chin before he wiped it off on the back of his hand, “You’re good-naturedly ribbing me, aren’t you?”

 

“Nope.” Frank winced at another twinge in his asshole, he closed the fridge, leaning back against the counter to stop his leg from twitching at the pain, “I was always the fucker in my relationship, both literally… And figuratively according to Ryan.”

 

“I don’t believe you.” Gerard tilted his head to the side, “You never struck me as anyone with any sort of authority. I just assumed you were a bottom, it’s how I perceived you from the start.”

 

“I- I don’t know how to take that.” Frank admitted, his cheeks warming up and definitely going pink, “Ryan’s a huge poof compared to me.”

 

“I see…” Gerard stated, “I see…”

 

“Do you?” Frank asked, folding his arms when Gerard merely shrugged, going back to his paper, making Frank frown. He was starting to get a bit annoyed at how Gerard was handling all of this, how blase he was to the fact that they had been together the night before, that Gerard had been unfaithful to his wife of so many years… That Gerard had been the first person physically inside of him. Frank looked away, feeling somewhat miffed at the entire situation now, his usual guilt now ebbing into a simmer of regret.

 

Frank decided to ignore Gerard then, going back to the fridge when he opened it, sticking his head in when the door opened.

 

“Good morning, you old grump.”

 

Frank froze, every drop of blood draining from his body and turning him ice cold when he heard Lindsey’s voice as she came inside of the house. Frank snuck the tiniest of peeks to see Lindsey in a pair of three-quarter leggings, a black sports bra and trainers, a water bottle in her hand and an iPod in her arm-sling, her blond hair in a ponytail.

 

“Good morning, dear.” Gerard smiled as Frank peered on, praying to God that Lindsey doesn’t see him, his upper half hidden by the fridge, his lower by the counter. Lindsey leaned in, kissing Gerard’s cheek before she took a sip of water and set the bottle down.

 

“How did you sleep?” She asked as she absent-mindedly picked up a stack of papers from the counter and began glancing- skimming- through them.

 

“Pretty well,” Gerard answered after swallowing a bite of his toast, “I was presumably exhausted after last night.”

 

“I heard you come in.” She nodded, “Must have dozed off before you came up though. I went through the Dustan-Gurade files last night.”

 

“How’s it looking?” 

 

“Bleak.” She sighed, “They’re not as generous as they used to be. Mister Gurade is in the stock market and his shares are falling pretty low.”

 

“Pity.” Gerard muttered as Lindsey wandered into the kitchen, still reading through the files, facing Gerard, who had locked eyes with Frank. Frank was about to pee, his legs shaking as he lay his forehead on the rack in the door.

 

Lindsey went to reach for the fridge door when she stopped, turning to see Frank when she screamed in fright, throwing papers everywhere as she jumped a mile high. Frank instinctively yelled out in surprise at her vocalisation, jumping back and hitting his head on a shelf in the fridge.

 

Lindsey stood there, looking him up and down with a hand on her chest, panting heavily when she turned and looked at Gerard. A heavy scowl setting in her dark brows when she walked over to Gerard and grabbed him by the ear, making him yelp and lean into it, cursing under his breath. Frank watched in awe as Gerard slinked off behind her, his ear still in an iron grip as they disappeared into another room.

 

“Motherfuck…” Frank hissed under his breath, his heart pounding as he bent down, scrambling to pick up the pages on the floor that Lindsey had dropped, waiting for a screaming match to start.

 

But nothing happened, no sound was heard as Frank set the pages down on the counter again, not sure about the order they were in and he most likely decided that Gerard and Lindsey were arguing in hushed tones so he didn’t hear. He was a guest after all, despite the reason why.

 

Frank knew he had fucked up, he knew he had gotten Gerard in deep shit, he knew he should probably leave but in what, he didn’t know. He didn’t even have a car.

 

The door opened and Gerard walked out, clutching his ear for a moment before he sat himself in the same barstool with Lindsey standing there in the doorway, hands on her hips and looking like fury reincarnate. Frank slunk backwards, shying out of her view with his hands clasped in front of him like a misbehaving schoolboy in the headmaster’s office.

 

“Sorry…” Frank muttered softly, unable to look at Gerard as the panic set in, “Fuck. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking last night and- And my best friend had died and I was looking for comfort and-”

 

“Frank…”

 

“No let me finish.” Frank put his hands in his hair, “I shouldn’t have started this. I shouldn’t have gone to find you. It was either you or Ryan- I mean I have no one else. My parents live in Denver and I have no other family and no real friends because I’m a loser and-”

 

“Frank.”

 

“Fuck, I fucked up so badly. I ruined your marriage and I made Lindsey so mad- Fuck, I should have gotten her a bigger bunch of flowers. I should get some more. Roses. She likes the roses right?”

 

“Frank…” Gerard sighed, watching him with a fist under his chin to prop himself up.

 

“Gerard- Sir- I- I’m sorry. I know I… Oh god, you’re gonna fire me, aren’t you? You’re using the sympathy voice. Oh god, you’re gonna sack me.” Frank began to hyperventilate as he paced the kitchen, feeling like he was about to faint or vomit or both. 

 

“You look nauseous. Would you like an antacid or something?” Gerard offered and Frank turned, clutching his chest as he panicked, as he struggled to catch his breath, his eyes wide as one of them began to twitch, his heart racing and his stomach doing bigger somersaults than Nastia Liukin.

 

“An antacid?” Frank’s voice rose in pitch, “You think I want a fucking antacid?”

 

“Calm down before you keel over, boy.” Gerard watched him calmly, no doubt waiting for Frank to finish panicking before he fired him and kicked him out, waiting for Frank’s personal storm to blow over before Gerard brought on the second one.

 

“This is going to be so awkward at work- Wait. You’re gonna fire me. I- I can’t look at Lindsey ever again. Oh god.” Frank whimpered as he lay his face on the fridge, trying to lower the temperature in his face, “I don’t wanna get sacked.”

 

“I’m not going to fire you.” Gerard sighed, “Calm down.”

 

“How are you so calm right now?!” Frank finally rounded on Gerard, “You do realise your fucking wife saw me like this?! I’m in your underwear!”

 

“I’m vastly aware of the situation, thanks.” Gerard stated simply, “Now, boy…”

 

“What?!” Frank snapped.

 

“We need to talk.”

 

‘Oh, fucking do we?” Frank replied sarcastically.

 

“Enough tone with me.” Gerard warned, “I’ve given you quite a bounteous amount of leeway with that attitude of yours and I would appreciate you putting it away.”

 

Gerard’s words seemed to calm Frank despite him feeling like it would do the opposite. He nodded, taking in a deep breath as he ran a hand through his hair, looking down at his feet, “Yeah.”

 

“Now come sit here. We need to talk.” Gerard pulled out the barstool beside him and Frank cautiously padded over, leaning up to slide into the chair, resting his arms on the marble counter, looking down at his hands.

 

“Now…” Gerard sighed softly, “I need to share something with you considering you’re now involved a little more personally with me. And it’s something that no one else knows. It’s of utmost secrecy, do you understand Frank?”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

“Look at me.” Gerard ordered and Frank obeyed, looking up into Gerard’s stern set hazel eyes, the hardened gaze made his stomach jump and he nodded, “Good. You’re not going to be fired, I promise.” Gerard reassured first off, “I’m not letting you go because of this, okay?”

 

“Okay…” Frank felt a small release of relief in his tensed and taut body, his leg twitching beneath the counter, his nervous tic returning, “Gerard?”

 

“Yes, boy?”

 

“Do- Do you and Lindsey have a weird… Kind of open relationship?” Frank then asked with a glimmer of hope that maybe he hadn’t fucked up so badly.

 

“In a way…” Gerard trailed, “Very open.”

 

It was just then that Lindsey reappeared, dressed in a simple black summer dress, standing in the doorway. Frank looked down, nodding at Gerard’s words despite not understanding them.

 

“Have you told him yet?” Lindsey queried and Gerard looked up at her.

 

“Getting there, dear.” Gerard professed.

 

“Told me what?” Frank frowned between the two of them as he wondered what the fuck was going on. Because yes he had been told that they had an open marriage but it still seemed funky to him.

 

“And you swear to secrecy alright? If this gets out, my career will be over.” Gerard warned and Frank felt a sense of panic rush over him again but he still nodded.

 

“I understand.”

 

“Your boss is a fat liar.” Lindsey interjected, sounding far too impatient for the current situation and Frank let out a groan, realising Gerard had lied. There was no open relationship, Gerard was trying to let him down easy. He and Lindsey were married married and Frank had fucked up.

 

“Frank…” Gerard put his hand on Frank’s for a moment before moving it away, “Lindsey and I. We’re not married.”

 

“Wh-” Frank frowned, completely confused as he looked at Lindsey and at Gerard a couple times, “Pardon?”

 

“We’re not married.” Gerard repeated, “Lindsey and I have been best friends since elementary school and when I went into politics I knew that no one would accept me because I’m gay so I got Lindsey to pretend to be my wife. So I’m a married man to the rest of the world, the perfect image. But we merely live together to keep up appearances. She’s my best friend.”

 

“Oh my god.” Frank whispered, his mind completely blown to smithereens, he looked at Lindsey who was smiling back at him, arms folded and leaning against the doorway, “You’re serious.”

 

“Completely.” Lindsey smiled sweetly, “Fake marriage.”

 

“Then- Then why the ear grabbing and- and the angry looks?” Frank asked and Lindsey rolled her eyes.

 

“Because this grumpy fart can’t stop dipping his pen in company ink.” Lindsey scoffed, “It’s a wonder he hasn’t been caught out yet.”

 

“What I’m worried about is…” Gerard eyed Frank, “Last night you knew I was married and it didn’t stop you. Do you have any morals, boy?”

 

“I-” Frank went red and he looked down, guilt and shame clouding over him.

 

“Gerard,” Lindsey scolded, “Leave the poor boy alone, his friend passed away.”

 

“Alright.” Gerard held his hands up in surrender and Frank threw Lindsey a grateful glance.

 

“So…” Lindsey walked into the kitchen and began pouring herself a glass of juice, “Nice job with shaking our ceiling tiles, by the way.”

 

“I-” Frank looked up with wide eyes at the realisation that Lindsey had heard him, “You-”

 

“Oh no, I have my own side to the house, I live on the left and Gerard on the right, we share the downstairs though. But when I heard him come home I wanted to talk to him like always. I got to the door and I heard you.”

 

“Oh my god.” Frank muttered, hiding his face in his arms on the counter, wishing the world would just open up and swallow him whole, “Oh my god, oh my god.”

 

“I will admit, you were rather loud.” Gerard added and Frank could practically hear the smirk in his voice.

 

“Oh so were you, grumpy.” Lindsey interjected.

 

“I was a fair amount of volume, thank you.” Gerard replied simply, “What I didn’t realise beforehand was that I was having sex with a lawnmower.”

 

Frank sat up, looking at Gerard with a frown, “I’m sorry, what?”

 

“Did no one ever tell you that you snore, boy?” Gerard smiled over his glass of orange juice as he took a sip and Frank grumbled curses under his breath, his blush spreading into his ears as he looked away, “Sorry, didn’t catch that.”

 

“It’s not that bad.” Frank repeated slightly louder, “I know I snore.”

 

“You’re right.” Gerard smiled, “I’m just pulling your leg, Frank.”

 

“Good.” Frank sighed, “And you’re not pulling my leg about being married?”

 

“No.” Gerard nodded firmly, “That was all serious chatter.”

 

“Okay,..” Frank nodded, “Right.”

 

“What time are two heading to the office?” Lindsey asked and Frank looked up in a pleasantly puzzled surprise.

 

“I told everyone to be there around eleven. I said we’re only working a half day.” Gerard nodded, looking at the clock on the wall, “I suppose we should get ready.”

 

“I’m sorry but…” Frank looked at them both in confusion, “I’m missing something.”

 

“You must not have checked your email yesterday.” Gerard stated, “I informed everyone that they have to be at work today. It’s coming up to financial year end and we need to make sure everything is all sorted.”

 

“Yeah, I missed that.” Frank scratched awkwardly behind his head, “Sorry.”

 

“Not to fret, your clothes are in the dryer, the shower is upstairs and you’re welcome to breakfast.” Gerard slid from his chair, “I have a phone call to make beforehand.”

 

“Okay…” Frank trailed off as Gerard walked over to Lindsey, kissed her cheek and disappeared back into the room they had gone into beforehand that Frank now realised was a home office.

 

Frank looked at Lindsey, “Sorry…”

 

“Well what you did was pretty rude, sleeping with my husband.” Lindsey eyed him as she set her glass in the sink, “You’re lucky I like you.”

 

“Yeah... “ Frank sighed, “Lucky.”

 

Was he lucky, though? Frank didn’t know. He didn’t know what to make of the situation anymore, he was so much more involved than he had expected and anticipated and he wasn’t sure if this was what he wanted it to be. Was he honestly ready to take on something like this?

 

He was now alone in the kitchen, alone with himself and he couldn’t even begin to grasp everything and anything that had just happened. It wasn’t even ten in the morning and so much had just gone down, Frank was still reeling.

 

The one thing that bugged Frank the most was what Lindsey had said about Gerard, about him and his pen and the company ink. Frank understood that to mean that he wasn’t the first person to work for Gerard that he had slept with and he wasn’t sure why that particular part bugged him so much. 

 

He hoped it was someone that had left by now, hoped it was no one that he had to deal with on a daily basis but Frank shrugged it off. If he knew Gerard as well as he hoped, he was certain that Gerard would have gotten rid of them by now, he knew Gerard wasn’t the type to have loose strings attached to him for the sake of keeping public face.

 

But that faced another question, raised another niggling thought. If Frank wasn’t fired now, how long did he still have left working for Gerard? How long until gerard got tired of his face, Gerard had gotten what he wanted from the chase, he had gotten what he sought after and how long would it be until Gerard got bored again?

  
  
  



	25. Chapter 23: It Wasn't Just My Tooth that Got Pulled Over the Weekend

Frank stood in the kitchen at work, half out of it while he waited for his coffee to be ready. In the short time he had been working for Gerard, he had learnt early on that some of the people he worked with really did follow workplace etiquette when it came to the pot of coffee in kitchen. Every morning he came in to find that the pot had magically been filled, even though he knew it was probably Gerard or Lindsey who had put it on. Always being the first people in the office everyday. Today though, for some reason, the pot was empty which ticked Frank off more than he expected it to. Having a dark cloud over his head from the moment he woke up, Frank was more than bothered. Whoever had drained it clearly hadn’t refilled it, even though everything that was required was in reach. Re-making the pot was so simple. Why someone had left him to do it, he had no idea.   
  
Frank had his mug set on the counter, waiting patiently for there to be enough coffee for him to pour out. Having had to change the filter and grounds and add more water, he was more than irritated. Generally irritable to be perfectly honest, but he was trying not to let that show. He was at work. He knew not to bring personal life to work, even if a part of his personal life now tied itself to a certain someone in the office.   
  
“Morning,” Frank herard, snapping out of his thoughts to see Derek walking into the kitchen. He smiled, not really in the mood for conversations today, but again, he couldn’t let it show. Bad mood or not, Frank still smiled at him, going to stand near the coffee machine, hoping and praying to god that Derek wasn’t going to attempt to take any coffee before him. He had been waiting a while and didn’t want to have to wait any longer, holding onto his teaspoon just in case Derek reached out for the pot, ready to hit his hand away. Not that he would, but still, he was in need of caffeine and  no one was stopping him from getting that, “You alright?”   
  
“Yeah,” Frank sighed, lying, knowing full well that it was easier to tell Derek that he was okay. Much easier than going into why he hadn’t wanted to get out of bed this morning. Knowing exactly what was going on today. Something that he probably wasn’t even invited to. Not that he wanted to do. He was barely holding it together as best as he was at the moment. Bringing it all back up would have just hurt Frank more. Avoiding it and partially going into denial was so much easier as Frank smiled at Derek, hiding the truth, “I’m good.”   
  
More than good now. There was enough coffee made so Frank grabbed the pot, pouring himself some out into his mug.   
  
“Good weekend?” Derek asked, going through the usual Monday morning work place chit chat that he always did, except he was doing it on a Tuesday, having had the day off yesterday. Frank was used to this though. It was like general office banter everywhere. The same rigid questions would be asked. How are you? I’m good. Good weekend? Of course. But someone would always crack out with how they went on some family getaway, piling kids into cars before driving somewhere. Frank had got it all down to a tee though. This office etiquette that he really couldn’t be dealing with right now, he could practically do it blindfolded and with his hands tied behind his back, still smiling while he would give the same answer that most people did.   
  
“Yeah,” Frank nodded, sipping on his coffee, thankful for the caffeine he was now putting into his body.   
  
And the answer was done. The morning ritual of questioning was complete. Everyone could go about their business now. Back to desks before they carried on working.   
  
Derek however threw a curveball though. Making Frank stop, frowning at him because no one usually asked him more about his weekend. This was highly unheard of. Or unless Derek was just being nosy.   
  
Or onto something.   
  
“I guessed you’d probably had a good weekend after I saw you on Saturday morning,” Derek spoke, pouring himself a coffee out now that there was enough again. Frank tried to look at him like he had no idea what he was talking about. It had to be a complete coincidence that Derek was mentioning the morning after the night Frank had had sex with a certain person in the office. Complete fluke. Derek was just making conversation. He wasn’t onto anything at all, “You looked wrecked. Turning up to work in the same clothes I saw you in on Friday.”   
  
Franks cheeks went bright pink then. Not thinking when Gerard handed him his clothes back on Saturday, he just put them on. Just getting dressed because working on a Saturday sucked but Frank was also completely lost in his head on Saturday morning because of what the two of them had been up to on Friday night. The fact that they had had sex. Frank remained on cloud nine for the majority of Saturday, the reminder of Gerard fucking him being his sore ass. But he didn’t think that anyone would notice that he turned up in the same black pants, white shirt and suspenders combo that he wore on Friday. Someone clearly hadn’t been paying much attention over the weekend then if they had noticed Frank Wearing the same clothes two days in a row.   
  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Frank brushed off what Derek had said over the rim of his mug, hoping and praying that he wasn’t going to push to find out exactly what he had gone and done over the weekend.   
  
“Oh come on,” Derek gave Frank a knowing look, not falling for the bullshit answer he had been given, “It was so obvious, I just didn’t want to mention it in front of Gerard or anyone else.”   
  
Frank blushed, looking away from Derek, hoping that he really wasn’t that easy to read on Saturday morning. Gerard had been completely unreadable, dressed sharply in a suit as usual. He really didn’t look like he had just rolled out of bed not hours before after having sex. Frank however, he must have looked more than questionable if Derek had picked up on it. Hell, he knew he hadn’t properly done his hair so there may have been a bit of a shagged out look about him, but really, he had hoped that he looked nothing more than presentable. Ready to work whilst trying to hide how he walked because of his sore ass.   
  
“So good night then, huh?” Derek winked at him, making Frank look away from him, trying to hide the blush which really gave away his answer. Of course it had been a good night. The day had started off good too, it was just the shit that got sandwiched in between that brought Frank down. Gerard had been there though. In more ways than one. Thank god he had been there. Frank was so glad that he hadn’t had to turn to his last resort. He knew that would have ended badly and he really hadn’t wanted to pile more shit on top of what he had already had to go through.   
  
Gerard however had been the perfect distraction. The perfect, irresistible, sex god that Frank still couldn’t believe he had had sex with. Mind blowing sex with. His whole view on sex had been completely ripped apart and pieced back together in a whole new way. Frank had never known about the wonders of being a bottom, just how good it felt to actually receive instead of giving. Gerard had shon a whole new light onto him and left Frank speechless. Completely taken aback and really questioning himself and how he had sex from now on.   
  
“It was alright.” Frank shrugged casually, trying not to give away how fucking peachy he was over what had gone and happened. How he was no longer in trouble over the fact that he thought he had gone and bedded a married man. A curveball having been thrown that no one in the office knew about. They probably all thought that Gerard was in fact married to Lindsey. Unaware of his sexuality. Completely unaware of the fact that he had in fact fucked Frank over the weekend.   
  
“So you and lover boy rekindled the romance then.” Derek suggested, making Frank frown at his words.   
  
“What are you talking about?” Frank asked, totally thrown.   
  
“You and...what’s his name? Your boyfriend.” Derek answered, making Frank realise that he had completely the wrong end of the stick.   
  
That was a good thing though. At least Derek hadn’t gone and somehow worked out what had actually happened over the weekend.   
  
“Ryan?” Frank said his name, the word feeling alien on his tongue after having not talked about him properly for a good month now. Derek clearly had no idea that they had broken up. He assumed that Derek must have overheard him talking to Gerard about him. It was obvious that he must have got the wrong end of the stick on the whole situation, “You think I was with Ryan?”   
  
“Weren’t you?” Derek queried, looking confused, “I know you guys were having trouble in paradise, but I thought you two had patched things up. Hence the whole turning up to work looking like you had not long since rolled out of bed.”   
  
“No, I wasn’t with Ryan,” Frank said, shaking his head, “We broke up about a month ago.”   
  
“Shit Frank,” Derek hissed, feeling bad for what he had said, “I just thought- fuck, I’m so sorry.”   
  
“Don’t be,” Frank waved a hand at him, “It’s fine. I’m better off without him anyway.”   
  
Which he was. Mentally and emotionally he was beginning to do so much better without Ryan, moving on slowly, sleeping with his boss being the clear cut sign that he was definitely over him.   
  
“So you met someone else?” Derek raised an eyebrow and a quirk of a knowing smile at him. So far from the truth but so spot on with the fact that Frank had actually got laid, “Please tell me that it wasn’t just my tooth that got pulled over the weekend.”   
  
Frank went to answer, thinking something up in his head, but whatever he came up with didn’t seem believable. Derek would probably see through whatever he told him, thinking that he was hiding something. Which he was. There was no way in hell that Derek could find out what had actually happened. It was just that coming up with something on the spot like this wasn’t exactly Frank’s forte.   
  
Plus the person that had just gone and walked into the kitchen went and grounded Frank’s brain to a halt, all thoughts and ideas of what he could say to Derek disappeared in a flash.   
  
“Good morning,” Gerard said brightly, looking between Derek and Frank while he grabbed himself a mug from the drainer by the sink, “How are we all doing this morning?”   
  
“Not too bad.” Derek answered, drinking more of his coffee while Frank just stood in complete silence, looking into his mug, wishing that he could just dive in and hide himself from the awkward situation that had just gone and plonked itself right in front of him.   
  
“How are you this morning, Frank?” Gerard turned his attention to him, watching Frank who was trying to hide the pink tinge on his cheeks. Memories flooding back, replacing every possible answer he had been trying to think of to say to Derek.   
  
“I’m good,” He stammered out, trying to hide his face behind his mug while he took a long drink, hoping that Gerard wasn’t going to hang around for too long. The air was thick with tension, Frank swore he could easily cut it with a knife. The way Gerard was looking at him, it was enough to make Franks stomach knot up. His heart hammered in his chest, much like it had done the other night. Not quite the same, but still, Gerard looking at him like that was enough to make Frank want to drop to his knees and give himself to him in front of Derek.   
  
That was highly inappropriate though. Gerard had a secret that only Frank knew about. The two of them now had a secret that no one in the office could know about, even though Frank wished that he could admit to someone that he was rather smitten. Becoming a little head over heels for the man who turned to look at Derek, giving Frank a moment to breathe.   
  
“I hope I’m not interrupting something here,” Gerard said, sensing himself that the air was a little different in the kitchen, “I only came in to get some coffee.”   
  
“Don’t worry,” Derek reassured him with a smile, “I’d just been asking Frank what he got up to over the weekend.”   
  
“Really?” Gerard conversed while pouring himself some coffee, “How was your weekend then, Frank?”   
  
Frank wanted the ground to swallow him up then. If it wasn’t bad enough that Derek was trying to stick his nose in, Gerard was now coming across like he knew nothing about what had happened between them. Doing it on purpose, like he was trying to get a reaction from Frank. Or maybe testing him to see if he let slip on what had actually happened between them on Friday night.   
  
“Pretty sure someone got lucky over the weekend.” Derek had to go and blab, making Frank cough into his coffee. He had no idea, really no idea what he was actually saying between the three of them. Completely unaware that Frank had actually gone and had sex with their boss who was now leaning against the kitchen counter, getting in on the conversation.   
  
This clearly wasn’t the kind of conversation to even have in front of someone's boss, let alone a boss that Frank had gone and bedded. Never before had he had a conversation like this in front of anyone who was his superior so Frank really felt like he was internally flailing, not knowing how to answer, let alone what to even say.   
  
“I never said that I did.” Frank panicked, going for any old answer, trying to cover himself even though Gerard was looking at him knowingly. He knew. They both knew that he had gone and got lucky over the weekend.   
  
“Did you?” Derek asked, not even caring that Gerard was in kitchen with the two of them. He wanted to know. For some reason this was all he wanted to know because Frank had made it so blatantly obvious on Saturday. Turning up in the same clothes. He had definitely done something to warrant Derek questioning.   
  
“Even if I did,” Frank said, pausing, wondering why in the world Gerard was not saving him from this embarrassment. Was he enjoying watching Frank squirm over Derek's need to know. It wasn’t like Frank was just going to blurt out that they had in fact had sex. Gerard had nothing to worry about there because Frank knew to keep his mouth shut. Protect their fake marriage so he could be taken seriously in the world of politics, but still, Frank wanted help, looking at Gerard, hoping that he would throw him a limb, but he never did, “I wouldn’t just admit it at work.”   
  
Frank saw the slight nod Gerard gave him from behind his mug. Clearly he had said the right thing. If only Gerard would step in to help. Stop him from having to cope with Derek all by himself.   
  
“Fine, whatever,” Derek responded flatly, realising that Frank wasn’t going to dish the dirt, “I was only making conversation with you,. You don’t have to get all high and mighty on me over it.”   
  
Derek eventually left the kitchen, knowing that Frank wasn’t going to spill the beans on his weekend dalliance. He breathed a sigh of relief, setting his mug of coffee down on the counter before leaning back on it, running his hands through his hair while Gerard kept an eye on him.   
  
“Thanks for saving me there.” Frank finally spoke to Gerard after a moment of making sure that no one else was going to come into the kitchen. Finally safe to talk to Gerard in the manner that he wanted to.   
  
“Oh I was so sure that you didn’t need saving,” Gerard told him, smoothing a hand down the black jacket he was wearing today, picking off a piece of lint before flicking it away, “You held your own very well with Derek.”   
  
“Would have been nice for you to step in and save me from that,” Frank muttered, drinking more of his coffee, breaking eye contact from Gerard, “Y’know, clearly you could see I was uncomfortable.”   
  
“I’m pretty sure you can hold your own, even in the most uncomfortable of situations.” Gerard said. The way he spoke making Frank’s stomach plummet. The feeling he had gotten so used to, only more intense now after they had been together. Frank swallowed when Gerard stepped closer to him in the kitchen, mouth going dry because really, Gerard looked beyond gorgeous today and Frank was having a hard time holding it together in his head. Remembering how Gerard had implied that there would be another time for them on Friday night. How Frank wanted it, wanted Gerard, even when he looked serious. That was a look that made Frank’s toes curl in his work shoes, losing complete control over any decent thought in his head.   
  
“I uh,” Frank started with a stammer. He wanted to bring up what had happened between them in the most discreetest of ways. Clearly there had to be something if Gerard had wanted to get into bed with him. He hoped that what Gerard had done to him wasn’t just a pity fuck because he had been sad and couldn’t stop crying on him. Inside Frank he hoped. He had no idea why he was hoping that his boss was going to want something more with him. He knew full well that workplace relationships didn’t exactly pan out, but this was different. Or at least it felt different to him. Plus it wasn’t even like Gerard was married. Sure, everyone in the office believed that him and Lindsey were happily married, but Frank was now in on the secret, knowing that Gerard was in fact gay. Definitely some sort of relationship material which Frank wanted, “I actually wanted to talk to you about the uh, the other night.”   
  
“What about it?” Gerard asked like he had no idea what Frank was talking about.   
  
“Well…” Frank started, feeling nervous about what he wanted to talk about, but at the same time he knew that he shouldn’t have been nervous. Yes there was the possibility that what happened between them was nothing more than a pity fuck, but Frank swore that there was more to it. He wanted there to be more to it because he liked Gerard. Really fucking liked the guy. It made sense in a weird way to him. They connected in some way, the sex had been beyond phenomenal, he was actually gay and completely attainable, as long as Frank was happy to keep up with the facade that Gerard had to have for his career. Which he was, especially if it meant that he got to have the guy that just seemed too good to be true.   
  
“I wanna talk about what happened at the weekend because, well, I don’t know about you...but stuff like that doesn’t tend to just happen to me,” He carried on, keeping an eye on the kitchen doorway just in case anyone came in and heard what he was saying to Gerard, “And it happened. We happened and I just, I wanna know what it means. Wouldn’t you want to know if it happened to you?”   
  
“What I really want to know right now though,” Gerard spoke once Frank had finished, taking in what he had said, having nodded before he carried on, “Is why you are still here?”   
  
Frank blinked, shocked about how Gerard had pretty much ignored what he had said. The small moment in the kitchen where he had dared to open up his heart just a fraction. Taken aback, Frank opened his mouth to say something, try and bring Gerard back on track, but it all kind of died inside of him. The confidence waning and the fact that Gerard just brushed it away so easily, it knocked him back at bit, wondering if he had just picked the wrong time to bring it up.   
  
“I- I don’t understand,” Frank spoke, looking at Gerard all confused. He was here because he had to be here. That was how work worked. Gerard just looked at him like he was expecting him to say something, answer why he was still here, even though Frank didn’t entirely know what to say to him, “I’m here to work sir?”   
  
Gerard rolled his eyes, shaking his head, “Have you forgotten what you told me what was happening today?”   
  
Of course Frank hadn’t forgotten what was happening today. That was the whole reason why Frank was down in the dumps with a constant rain cloud over his head. Today was the day of Jamia’s funeral. It was one of the reasons why Frank had dressed in his black suit, paying respects from afar because for one thing, he knew he wasn’t strong enough to even consider going to the funeral and also, he was pretty sure that he wasn’t welcome. Having not been one of Jamia’s parents favourite, he hadn’t received an invite to the funeral. He had only heard about it through social media. He knew where it was happening and what time it was happening. Today at ten am. God knows why Frank had even mentioned it to Gerard in the first place when he found out on Saturday. In a concoction of emotions and word vomit, he told him and now here he was, reminding Frank of the fact that he knew.   
  
“Of course I haven’t forgotten,” Frank sighed, finishing his coffee before washing the mug, knowing full well not to leave it dirty in the sink while Gerard was in the kitchen with him, “I know what is happening today.”   
  
“So are you going?” Gerard queried, checking the time on his watch, “You need to leave now if you want to get to the service on time.”   
  
“”Yeah,” Frank hissed, knowing full well that he wasn’t going, “I think it’s probably better if I just pay my respects from afar.”   
  
“Frank, you have to go,” Gerard told him, shocked that he had even considered not going to his best friend’s funeral, “Don’t you think it would be rude to not go? Not pay your respects to your friend?”   
  
“Trust me, if I was wanted at the funeral and I was strong enough to go through with it, I would go,” Frank reassured Gerard, setting his now washed mug back down on the drainer, turning to face his boss, “But I’m not wanted there and I know full well that I will not cope with it. Unless you want me coming back an emotional wreck, having been told to leave the moment I’m spotted.”   
  
“Then you go and stand at the back. Pay your respects to your friend,” Gerard told him, finishing his coffee in one mouthful, “I will even go with you if you want.”   
  
“What?” Frank stuttered out, not sure if he had heard Gerard right.   
  
“I will go with you to the funeral. I will be there for you if it gets too much, okay?” Gerard clarified quickly, “You cannot miss this because I for one know that you will regret it later on.”   
  
“You sure about that?”   
  
“Just get your coat and meet me at my car,” Gerard instructed Frank, not giving him an opportunity to back down from this, “We don’t want to be late now do we?”   
  
“No sir.” Frank answered, already feeling his emotions starting to build up inside of him. Getting through today without going to the funeral was going to be hard enough for Frank, but now he was going, he honestly had no idea how he was going to cope, even if he did have Gerard by his side to help him through it.   
  
\---   
  
All the while Frank sat next to Gerard in his car, he kept telling himself in his head that he could do this. He was going to be strong enough to do this, especially seeing as he wasn’t doing this alone. Gerard was with him, that should have been enough for Frank to know that he had someone to help him through this. It was just that he couldn’t stop the nagging doubt in the back of his skull. The little voice that kept telling him that he wasn’t going to be able to do it. This was going to be the biggest mistake he had made. This was just going to go south so fast for him.   
  
“Are you okay?” Gerard asked, snapping Frank out of his daze, pulling himself from staring aimlessly out of his window, watching all the scenery go past.   
  
“I’m good.” Frank lied, not wanting to have to open up right now. That was a dangerous thing to do when the barrier that was holding his emotions back was already paper thin. Weakening more and more the closer they got to the church, eyes prickling with tears, threatening to spill over already.   
  
“Why do I find that hard to believe?” Gerard commented, looking at Frank from over the sunglasses he had put on, eyeing him when he turned to look back at him.   
  
“Because we are on our way to a funeral,” Frank said pointedly, hoping that Gerard should have just known how he would’ve been doing without having to ask, “I really don’t think I can do this.”   
  
“I know you can, you are strong,” Gerard spoke confidently, giving Frank a soft and knowing smile. He didn’t return it though, finding it hard to believe that he was what Gerard claimed he was, “Plus I am here for you.”   
  
“You didn’t have to come.”   
  
“And if I didn’t come then you wouldn’t have all together,” Gerard responded, “You would have stayed in the office, missing out on saying goodbye to your friend.”   
  
Frank ignored what Gerard said when he saw that they were coming up to the church. His heart sunk in his chest because there was a part him that hoped that the car journey wouldn’t end. They would keep driving and driving and he wouldn’t have to go through with this. Or maybe they could have ended up stuck in traffic, missing the service all together. Then it was out of Frank’s hands. He wouldn’t feel bad because he had no control over why he wasn’t there. he tried, but he hadn’t succeeded. Such a shame, but at least he would still have his emotions all in one piece.   
  
Gerard’s driver pulled the car into the lot at the side of the church, parking up into a space. This was it and Frank really wasn’t feeling okay about doing this. Just turning up to a funeral when he wasn’t even invited. Turning up with his boss who had nothing to do with Jamia. He was so sure that they were going to stick out like sore thumbs at the back of the church. Part of him wanted to stop Gerard when he unclipped his seatbelt, telling him not to get out of the car because there was no way in hell he was getting out of the car, but it was too late. Frank didn’t act and Gerard had already got out of the car, shutting his door before walking round to Frank’s side, opening and holding the door for him.   
  
“Good job you didn’t wear one of your brighter suits today.” Frank commented as he reluctantly got out of the car, watching Gerard shut the door behind him while he pushed his hands into his pants pockets, trying to stop himself from fiddling in an attempt to calm his nerves and emotions.   
  
“I’ll have you know that a lot of funerals don’t have to follow such sombre rules,” Gerard spoke, buttoning up his jacket before following Frank towards the church, “If it is requested then people can wear bright colours, treating the funeral as more of a celebration of life than a loss.”   
  
“Swear to god you have an answer for everything,” Frank muttered under his breath, shaking his head. They got up to the doors of the church which were closed. They were late. Ten minutes late and that made Frank more nervous. Standing out in the cold seemed like a much better idea than walking in to have however many mourners there were in there all turning around to see who had turned up late. Frank did not want to be spotted. If anything, he didn’t want to go in at all, but Gerard had been so insistent that he went so he didn’t really have a choice anymore. Plus Gerard was already opening the door, waving a hand for Frank to go in, letting him hear that it was all going on inside, “I don’t know if I can do this, sir…”   
  
“Of course you can,” Gerard reassured him again, resting a hand on his shoulder, “I’m here for you too, so come on, before you miss more of her service.”   
  
The two of them entered the church quietly, taking note of how they had walked in while everyone who was attending was stood up, singing Amazing Grace. All of a sudden Frank felt like he was completely out of his depths. Every fibre in his body was telling him to turn on his feet and walk out, but Gerard was behind him, edging him closer to the back pew. One hand on Franks arm, holding him while they finally slid into the seats.   
  
Frank immediately sat down, not feeling strong enough to even remain standing while everyone else sang. His chest felt tight, restricting him in the most painful way possible. Keeping his head down in case anyone looked around and saw him, Gerard sat down next to him, handing him a memorial card that he couldn’t even bring himself to look at. His eyes stinging so much. Frank screwed them shut, trying to breathe while he bowed his head down.   
  
When Frank felt like he was strong enough, having taken a moment to compose himself, which was hard, especially given the situation, he looked up. He had no idea who had actually been invited to the funeral. Not many people were there, a small handful closer to the front than they were. Thankfully no one had spotted them, too into singing the hymn to pay attention to the fact that two people had just walked in and were currently sitting in the back pew. Gerard seemed more incognito than Frank, given that he hadn’t taken his sunglasses off since that had entered the church. Frank however felt like he stuck out a bit like a very sore and hurting thumb. Too emotional to move, frozen to the seat, unable to even get up to leave, even though he felt like it was the only thing he should have done right now.   
  
He watched over the small service for a second. Having set the memorial card down next to him on the pew, he took to fiddling with his hands, trying to keep himself calm while the hymn eventually came to an end and everyone who had been stood now sat back down.   
  
Frank really did hope that no one would turn around and see him now that they weren’t focussing on singing. He gazed over the backs of heads in front of him, seeing if he could see anyone that he recognised. Of course he spotted Jamia's mother and father right at the front. her younger brother, Evan, he was sat right up at the front too. The whole family sat close together on the front pew, other family members all behind them. Close family friends. Friends of Jamia's.   
  
He hated how the whole family seemed to be against him. Frank had never done anything wrong. He had never upset their daughter in anyway. If anything, he had probably been there for her more times than her own family had, but still, he had been cast aside. Left out and completely judged. Looked down upon because he had been this punk brat the moment that he met Jamia and became friends with her. They had never liked him much because of the way he appeared. Their daughter becoming friends with a guy whos jeans needed serious repairs done on the knees, tattoos and piercings to boot. They honestly had gone and judged his book by its cover. They never bothered to find out that the reason Jamia had become such good friends with him because he was genuinely a nice guy. A sweetheart underneath all the tattoos and piercings and his shitty punk appearance.   
  
Frank was all but done looking over who had turned up to pay their respects to Jamia. Having only spotted a few relatives and friends of Jamia's that he knew, he felt okay with hiding at the back until the service was over. It was probably going to be a good idea if the two of them ducked out before the service ended and everyone poured out for the burial. Frank already knew that there was no way he was going to be strong enough to watch his best friend being buried. The idea alone made his heart ache and his chest grow tighter. He had even avoided looking towards the coffin at the front with the sheaf of lilies sitting atop it. Bringing himself to look at the coffin was too much. Proof that she was actually gone. Life taken from her too soon. She had just given birth to her beautiful daughter. It wasn’t right. Frank couldn’t get over how unfairly she had been taken away. That tore him up from the inside out, making him inhale shakily, trying so hard to hold it together while Jamia's mother stood to say a few words, barely holding it together like he was.   
  
Frank screwed his eyes shut, trying to block out what was being said because as much as he was here to pay his respects and say his goodbye in his own quiet way at the back of the church, hearing someone talk about how Jamia was loved so much, it ricocheted through him. He had loved her so much. She was his best friend who had got him through so much. She had always been there for him as he had for her. This was so unfair and Frank couldn’t even stop himself when he thought back to one of the last times she had been there for him.   
  
_Frank couldn’t help it. He honestly didn’t know why it had bothered him so much, a month down the line and a month of living with Jamia had settled him to a degree, but this had gotten to him like an itch on his back that he couldn’t reach. So bothered which was never usually how Frank saw things. This however had really bothered him to the point that for once in his life, he took real charge of the situation._ _  
_ _  
_ _All it was was that clearly Jamia had spilt some sugar on the kitchen counter after she had made herself some tea before she went out to do shopping, but Frank had come into the kitchen and spotted it. Such a simple accident that could easily be wiped up and moved on from, but no. The small spill had triggered something inside of Frank’s head. After so many years of living with a clean freak and after the short amount of time he had been apart from said person, it did something to him. Like a switch in his head, something had been switched on in him. Ryan’s need to clean suddenly became Frank’s need to clean._ _  
_ _  
_ _At first it had started off simple. Frank found cleaning products under the sink, using them to mop up the spill. But that didn’t feel like enough. All of a sudden Frank found an urge in him that was so unlike him. He never found himself to be so anal about cleaning like Ryan had been, but being without him and getting over their break up this way, Frank had hidden certain parts of his feelings towards it. He knew that he was better off without Ryan, but still, six years was a long time to be with a person. One month of not being with said person suddenly hit Frank and the urge took over him faster than he could understand why he was doing what he was doing._ _  
_ _  
_ _The counter ended up spotless. Frank went out of his way to move everything on the counter, cleaning underneath everything, even choosing to open up the toaster and clean out all the crumbs that had probably been there for god knows how long. Frank then moved on swiftly, cleaning like he had never done before. Such a menial task like cleaning never became such a thing for him before. He could cope with some mess, not that Jamia’s house was messy. It was clean, but Frank found himself almost getting into the Ryan zone. Finding mess anywhere and everywhere. Like the time Ryan moaned at him for leaving a ring of coffee on the counter one time, Frank found himself internally moaning about how Jamia’s kettle needed to be cleaned. The oven top was clean too, but the way it had been wiped down left it smeared with watermarks. Frank couldn’t bring himself to leave it alone, wiping it down furiously, buffing it up to the point that he swore he would be able to see his face in it. It had to be clean. Everything had to be immaculate because if it wasn’t then Frank swore that it was going to feel like he had an itch deep in his skull that he couldn’t get to. It would tear him apart more than his break up with Ryan had done._ _  
_ _  
_ _And that was the whole reason why Frank had taken to cleaning Jamia’s house even though she hadn’t asked him to do it. It felt like something was missing from him. A whole part of his life suddenly torn out of him, leaving a gaping hole deep in his chest which he refused to question. The kind of question he knew would make him realise that actually, he did miss Ryan. Of course it was natural for him to miss his ex, they had been together for just over six years, but Frank refused to believe that the reason he was being like this was because there was a piece of his heart that really did miss the asexual clean freak that had been his high school sweetheart. The apparent love of his younger life that ended up leaving him feeling like he was less of who he actually was. Frank didn’t want to believe that he actually missed the fucktard who had broken him down so much, but clearly there was a part of him that was calling out. Letting itself be known because Frank was cleaning. Cleaning more than he had probably ever done during the time that he had been with Ryan. Cleaning anything and everything in sight. The tiles in the kitchen, the table top, the chairs. He even took to cleaning the inside of the microwave even though it was already clean. Not clean enough, he thought, this needs to be ‘clean’ clean. Ryan clean. FIll the aching hole in his chest, reminding himself and putting himself through this because he was okay. This was normal. Cleaning was okay and nothing was going to have him think that he was doing this purely because he missed his ex boyfriend._ _  
_ _  
_ _Like a Duracell bunny on speed, Frank powered his way around the house, cleaning from top to bottom, dusting and bleaching whatever he could in the process. Hoovering to the point that he actually moved furniture, making sure that he didn’t miss anything. Missing something would leave him irritated to the point that he would consider starting the whole process all over again. If it meant that everything would be immaculate then yes, he would do it if he had to._ _  
_ _  
_ _Luckily he hadn’t had to do that yet. A part of him felt like everything was still messy, even though it wasn’t. The Ryan in him, rearing its head up to the point that when Frank moved everything back into place in Jamia's sitting room, he made sure that the coffee table was in line with the rug that Jamia had down. Going full Monica Geller on the situation, Frank made sure that the sofa lined up with the coffee table perfectly, also central to the whole room and the TV in front of both things. Going over to the bookcase, Frank rearranged after dusting and wiping down everything that looked even the slightest bit dusty. There really was no need for it, even as Frank sorted out all of Jamia's pregnancy and baby books, putting them altogether in one neat section, but he couldn’t stop himself. Something in him was keeping him going, even as he moved around the house, hoovering down the stairs thoroughly before he decided that it was time to clean upstairs._ _  
_ _  
_ _Upstairs wasn’t too bad. He didn’t feel like his skin was crawling at the idea of everything being a complete mess. Moving away from where he had gotten triggered had probably helped, but Frank still found himself cleaning, having to go downstairs to retrieve the hoovers plug when the cord wouldn’t reach anymore. Plugging it in when he got back upstairs, only to carry on with his furious need to pick up every speck of dust and dirt that might have been lurking in amongst the weave of the carpet. He couldn’t stop. Frank was sure that if he stopped then whatever was really bothering him was going to consume him. Take over him and made him freeze, unable to do anything else with his day. He couldn’t let that happen. No, Frank refused to let that happen to him as he pushed his bedroom door open with the hoover, continuing to clean as he went around the house._ _  
_ _  
_ _Frank switched off the hoover for the time being when he finished in his room. Pushing it to one side, he groaned at himself when he looked at his bed. It was a mess. Clearly he hadn’t bothered to make it like he used to have to thanks to Ryan drilling his need for tidiness into his head. For once he hadn’t had to control his actions in fear of being told off by Ryan. For once his bed was a complete and utter mess, the duvet thrown back from when he had gotten out of bed. The bottom sheet half off the bed because for the past few nights, Frank had slept quite restlessly. Right now though, the sight of the unmade bed annoyed him so much. How could he have left it like that when he woke up. His inner Ryan having a fit over the scrunched up bedding._ _  
_ _  
_ _Frank threw the duvet away from the bed, tossing the pillows too so he could straighten it up. From very early on in their relationship, once they had moved in together, Ryan had gotten so annoyed with how Frank kept where they slept together that one day he decided that he had had enough. One day he couldn’t take it anymore and took it upon himself to show Frank how to make a bed. Clearly this was something that his mother or father hadn’t taught him, so the task had been passed onto Ryan, pulling Frank into the bedroom one day. In the middle of the afternoon too. Frank had assumed that they were going to be getting up to something so much more fun than making a bed, but he had been proven wrong when Ryan began to show him how to make their bed. Showing him how to fold over the bottom sheet because elasticated bedding was for cheaters. Ryan showed Frank how to put the bedding on the pillows and duvet properly and quickly. Such a simple life skill that Frank should have already had, but Ryan gave him that. Ryan helped him so in turn Frank would help him by making his die of the bed, leaving himself de-stressed and nowhere near ready to tear his hair out of how sloppy Frank was with where he slept._ _  
_ _  
_ _Frank began to tug at the bottom sheet, trying to fold it properly so he could tuck it back under the mattress, but something caught him completely off guard. The memory of Ryan teaching him how to make a bed came screaming back quicker than he thought it would. Assuming that the task would have overridden the memory, Frank had been proven wrong when he looked down and was the tiny dark wet spot on the sheet that he was trying to sort out. He thought it was a stain and that the sheet needed washing, but he had been fooled. He himself had caused the stain when he blinked, letting the first tears fall from his eyes while he sniffed back hard, standing up straight to refocus on what he was doing._ _  
_ _  
_ _How could something as simple as making a bed make him burst into tears. Frank didn’t get it. Didn’t want to get it because if he understood then it would be like opening up Pandora's box. Everything would come out then and Frank knew that he wasn’t quite strong enough to deal with everything he had been avoiding since the day that he left Ryan. It had only been a month. Frank knew that he wasn’t completely over what he had been through, but he wanted to believe that he was okay. Of course he didn’t want to wallow on the fact that there was a possibility that he was missing Ryan._ _  
_ _  
_ _He wasn’t missing Ryan. Frank wanted to believe that even though the empty feeling in his chest resembled something very similar. The tears giving away the fact that he wasn’t coping at all._ _  
_ _  
_ _No. He was okay. Frank kept telling himself that as he wiped his eyes dry, cleared his nose before continuing with the task of making the bed. Once he was done with that, placing the duvet back over the pillows he had lay back down, smoothing over the fabric, he realised that he had been crying the entire time. Unable to control it. His emotions were unravelling and there was very little he could do to stop how he was feeling._ _  
_ _  
_ _He hoped that continuing with cleaning would help, but it really didn’t. Even when he got to the bathroom and filled up a bucket with water to clean the floor, he really couldn’t stop the pain. Stop the tears that were now pouring down his face, every small noise that left him while he sobbed echoing in the small room that he put himself in to clean._ _  
_ _  
_ _He couldn’t stop though. Every part of him told him to keep going. The bathroom floor was clean, but to Frank it was dirty. It had to be dirty because if it wasn’t then he had nothing to do other than realise that he was still so very broken after he had ended his relationship with Ryan. Scrubbing the floor was the best thing for him after finding a brush to do it with, but it wasn’t helping him. Yes it was something for him to do, but his heart still ached and his tears still dissolved into the soapy water on the floor. Frank missed Ryan, that was a given, but he didn’t want to believe that he was that weak. So weak that he couldn’t even get over the one thing that had been damaging himself for so long. How could Ryan have had such an effect on him? He didn’t understand or even want to understand why his ex seemed to be clinging onto him in memory form. Unable to let go of him. Frank unable to one hundred per cent move on because somehow he missed him so damn much. Missed the fact that he at least had someone, no matter how badly the person had been treating him._ _  
_ _  
_ _Frank hadn’t realised that he was no longer alone in the house after some time. Jamia had come home, finding her place spotless beyond belief. She knew that she had left the place tidy, but even she could tell that Frank had been cleaning. More than cleaning by the looks of it when she went to find him, stepping into the sitting room to find that the sofa was closer to the tv than she usually had it. Her bookshelf had been rearranged and the sugar spill she had forgotten to clean up was now gone from the kitchen. Jamia figured out that Frank had probably been doing some cleaning, but she really had no idea that she was going to find him in the bathroom when she went looking for him. No idea that she would find him on his knees, furiously scrubbing her bathroom floor while he cried his eyes out._ _  
_ _  
_ _“What are you doing?” Frank heard instantly, stopping mid scrub to look up and see Jamia looking down at him all confused. He didn’t even shield how he looked, his red, swollen eyes and tear stained face on display for his friend to see._ _  
_ _  
_ _“Wh- What does it l- look like I’m do- doing,” Frank answered brokenly, turning his attention back to the floor, carrying on from where he left off, scrubbing harder than he had been doing, trying to stop the tears but there was no way that they were stopping anytime soon. He was full flow now. Ugly crying, snot coming out of his nose, his whole face probably more wet than the floor was right now, “I’m- I’m cleaning.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“You’re crying,” Jamia stated the obvious, coming into the bathroom before trying to get down onto the floor with him. Gripping onto the side of the bath, she knelt down in front of Frank who was avoiding eye contact with her. Focussing more on the fact that he swore that the floor was dirty. It had to be cleaned. He had to finish this or he would feel like he had failed, “Frank, look at me.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“I’m busy.” He told her, not even looking up when his words came out like a desperate plea for anything to stop how he was feeling right now. So hopeless and stupid._ _  
_ _  
_ _“Frank, what is going on with you?” Jamia pushed, trying to reach out a hand to still him, but he refused to be stopped. She could not stop him or the pain he felt in his chest would be real. What he felt would be real and Frank really didn’t want to come to a point where he realised that he actually missed his stupid ex boyfriend._ _  
_ _  
_ _“No- Nothing is going o- on w- w- with me,” He insisted, going into denial about the fact that he was actually crying whilst cleaning, “I ju- just w- wanted to clean. Your h- h- house was so dirty.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“No it wasn’t. I cleaned this morning before I went out.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Well I w- wanted to clean.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Frank just stop for one second,” Jamia insisted, seeing how Frank looked so broken. Hurting so much, but he was a stubborn bastard and even Jamia knew that. Watching him scrub the same tile on her floor intensely, she knew that something was wrong. There had to be something wrong because Frank was never like this. He wasn’t usually one for cleaning to the point of practically removing the pattern from the floor, so she just knew that something was bothering him. Probably Ryan. It wasn’t hard to figure out. The man had barely cried since the first week of moving in. He had closed up when it came to anything to do with his break up, so Jamia felt like she knew what had got to Frank. What had pushed him to this point, “Frank please.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _He refused to stop. Ignoring Jamia, he plunged the brush back into the bucket he had by his side, pulling it back out before he continued to clean the same spot again, sniffing hard, his eyes screwing shut for a second as a small sob left him._ _  
_ _  
_ _“Frank, just give- hey!” Jamia gasped when Frank batted her hand away from his. She had only gone to take the brush away from him. get him to stop for a second so they could talk, but he had refused point blank, pushing her away before he carried on, “Frank, give me the brush-”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“No.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Frank just stop for one fucking second,” Jamia spoke sternly, finally getting a hand on Franks, “Frank, listen to me-”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“No!” He snapped, trying to free himself from Jamia's grip, but she had a hold of him, stopping him, the bristles on the drush being pushed down and bent against the floor as they fought over the brush, “I ne-.. ed to clean. The fl- floor is dirty.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“The floor is fine,” Jamia reassured him, trying to take the brush before he pulled back. Her grip slipped and Frank was finally free of her. Unfortunately he forgot how close he had the bucket to him, hitting it with his elbow, causing it to tip and the contents of it spilling out onto the floor, “Fuck, Frank, for fuck sake…”_ _  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Wh- why did you st- stop me?” Frank shot his question out, finally looking back at Jamia with pain in his eyes. Her heart broke to see her friend like this. Clearly he was hurting so much, trying to cover it up by occupying himself, but that didn’t matter now. Even if the floor had been dirty at one point, it really was now as the water spread across the tiles, soaking into Frank's jeans as he remained kneeling on the bathroom floor, “L- Look what you d- d- did. The floor is dirty a- again.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“It’s not dirty,” Jamia reassured him again, finally having his undivided attention. Tear filled eyes watching her, so confused as to why she had stopped him, “Frank, please...what is going on with you? What’s happened?”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“I just wanted to clean,” Frank told her, hoping that she wouldn’t question him more. If she pushed then Frank wasn’t sure if he would be able to hold it all in. Everything that he had been trying to avoid with cleaning was threatening to come out. The whole reason why he had been trying to mask it all. It was so obvious, admitting it though, that was what Frank was scared to do because he didn’t want to go back. It wasn’t a case of wanting what he once had. It was more of a case of figuring out why he felt this way after what he had been through. To him it didn’t make sense, “Can I not just do something nice for you? Clean your fucking house… Mia, I just wanted to...I can’t fucking...oh God…”_ _  
_ _  
_ _Frank broke down then. The weight of everything in his head became too much. Every thought he had been trying to ignore while he cleaned became too much. Every memory that made him realise that he might actually have missed Ryan came flooding back. He hated feeling like this. He didn’t want to miss Ryan. He wanted to hate him for the way he had treated him over the past six years, but Frank could never hate, That was too strong of an emotion for him. No matter what, he knew that he would never fully hate Ryan, but what he did hate was how he seemed to be missing him even though there was no way in hell Frank was going to ever want him back._ _  
_ _  
_ _“Baby…” Jamia spoke softly, watching Frank dissolve on the bathroom floor. His pained sobs echoed in the small room, his hands coming up to cover his face while he still knelt on the sodden floor, not even caring that his jeans had soaked up most of the water that he had been using to clean, “Hey, shh...Frank, whats wrong?”_ _  
_ _  
_ _Frank didn’t answer. The force of his emotional outburst was too strong for him to even consider answering. His throat felt tight from crying, like he was choking while the tears fell and his whole face contorted with pain behind his hands._ _  
_ _  
_ _“Frank talk to me,” Jamia pushed a little firmer, hoping to get something out of him that wasn’t making her want to break down too as her pregnancy hormones started to fire up over how he was being, “What’s got you like this? What’s happened?”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“I d- don’t know,” Frank finally answered, revealing his face, only to look up at the ceiling so at least he couldn’t see Jamia watching him, “Mia, I do- don’t fuck- fucking know what’s going on with me. I th- thought I was fine… I’ve been feeling fine all w- week and then it just, it came over me and I needed s- something to stop me from thinking.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Thinking about what?” Jamia asked, trying to get into Frank's head._ _  
_ _  
_ _Frank didn’t want to voice what he had been thinking about. He didn’t want to admit to Jamia that he had no idea why he felt this way. To him it didn’t make sense because he was done with Ryan. No going back, no trying to fix what had been broken, but it still didn’t stop the burning pain in his heart. The pain that made the tears spill more, a choked sobbing forcing its way out of his throat while he squeezed his eyes shut._ _  
_ _  
_ _“Frank, please talk to me,” Jamia spoke, resting a hand on Frank to comfort him, “You’re scaring me Poptart. What’s going on?”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Why do I miss him?” Frank finally let the question out, a weight lifting from him, but also at the same it pressed down on him harder. It hurt so much to finally admit what had been bothering him for most of the day. What had pushed him to clean so aggressively in the first place, why he was in this state. The sad truth that Frank had not wanted to admit, “Why, after everything he did to me and how he made me feel, do I still miss that idiot?”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Are you talking about Ryan, Poptart?” Jamia asked, wrapping an arm around Frank to comfort him. He had shattered more after finally admitting what was bothering him. Shaking against her, Jamia tried her best to hold it together just so she could be there for him._ _  
_ _  
_ _“Of course I’m talking about Ryan,” Frank croaked out, wiping his constantly blocked and running nose on the back of his wrist, “I wish I wasn’t talking about him but hey, it looks like I am.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Sweetie, it’s okay to miss him,” Jamia told Frank. She wasn’t sure if she was actually able to help him. She knew what he had gone through thanks to everything he had told her, but reassuring him that he was going to be okay and that this was totally normal while he was crying constantly on the bathroom floor, that’s what she wasn’t sure about. Calming him enough. Yes he had cried in front of her, but nothing like this before. Not the gut wrenching, heartbreaking type of crying that made you want to wrap your arms around him and tell him that everything was going to be okay one day, “You spent six years with him. It’s completely normal for you to feel this way. He was your life for so long...you removed him from your life and now I can only guess that this incessant cleaning is because of him?”_ _  
_ _  
_ _Frank nodded weakly, already understanding why he had cleaned like he was possessed. Possessed by the memory of his ex. The sad realisation that he was only doing it because he missed that being a part of his life. Missed the way that Ryan would nag him to clean and keep the house in order. Just missed everything which felt so weird. He shouldn’t have missed him because Frank was done with him, but he couldn’t stop his heart from aching, feeling like it was splitting in half in his chest._ _  
_ _  
_ _“I just wish that I didn’t feel like this,” Frank admitted, resting his head on Jamia's shoulder while she held him, “I mean, it’s been a month since I left him. I thought that I would have felt stuff like this right after the break up. Why is it affecting me now? Why do I all of a sudden miss him?”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Because you are human,” Jamia sighed, wishing that she had a better answer to give to him, “I was the same after Jimmy left me. After what he did, I still missed the bastard like crazy.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“I don’t w- want to feel th- this,” Frank admitted, keeping his eyes closed in an attempt to calm down his crying, also trying his best to ignore how he was so pathetic right now, kneeling on the wet bathroom floor, his jeans sodden and his whole life apparently falling apart all over again, “I j- just want it to st- stop.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“It will,” Jamia sniffed, fighting back the tears that were already threatening to fall thanks to her pregnancy hormones, “Please trust me Poptart, it will get better. It will get easier, you’ve just gotta get through all of this first. The whole shit that comes with having to break up with someone. Yeah you’re going to remember parts about your relationship that you probably enjoyed and that’s going to make you miss him. Yeah, you might think that if you get back with him then everything will be different and that is why you miss him, but it’s not. Frank, whatever you wanted Ryan to be, clearly he wasn’t. This sucks, I’m not going to sugar coat because I would never bullshit you, but break ups suck.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“A m- month after a break up?”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“It’s different for everyone,” Jamia sighed, “Some people can move on in a week, others, it can take months before they feel like they have moved passed what happened to them.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“I don’t want to be like this in an- another month’s time,” Frank admitted, putting his arm around Jamia now, grateful that she had found him because he had no idea if this breakdown would have happened if she wasn’t here. If it did then he was really glad that he wasn’t alone through it, having Jamia to comfort him and be there for him, “I don’t w- want to miss him. I just want to go back to normal...whatever that is. I don’t know with my- myself anymore.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Trust me sweetie,” Jamia sniffed again, her hormones taking hold of the situation. Sitting on the bathroom floor with Frank, ignoring how her jeans too were starting to soak up some of the water Frank had been using to clean with, she began to cry too. No control over why it started and what she was crying over, she sniffed, grabbing a tissue from her pocket to wipe her nose, “It will get easier.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _Frank looked at Jamia confused, noticing that she was crying too, “Hey, what's up? Hey, Mia shh, why are you crying?”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“I don’t kno- ow,” Jamia wailed out, her already heightened emotions spiking more, making the whole moment of crying so much more, “I can’t co- control it at the moment, st- stupid hormones. You cry, I cry-”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Don’t make me cry more,” Frank pointed a finger at her, knowing full well that he was the kind of guy who was usually quite comfortable with his emotions. He wasn’t afraid to cry if he needed to and right now, it wasn’t even a need. It was more a natural reaction. Best friend cries, he cries too, “You know I can’t stop when you start.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“I’m s- sorry,” Jamia whimpered out, feeling Frank wrap his arms around her. Now his turn to comfort her even though he really needed her so much right now. She was here for him and of course Frank was always going to be there for her. Whether they cried together or not, the good thing was that they had each other to get through this. As much as it sucked to still be missing Ryan, Frank knew that at least he had someone to help him get through it, no matter what._ _  
_ _  
_ _Frank felt arms on him, holding him, almost pulling him as he snapped out of his daydream. For a second he had forgotten where he was, almost like he had left his own body for a second. Leaving where he was far behind, he came back into reality with a bump. Crying, still crying, always crying at the moment after losing his best friend._   
  
“Frank, come on, we need to go,” He heard over his own sobs. The calming voice of reason. The one person who was holding him right now. No one else at the funeral wanted him there so of course they weren’t going to comfort him. They were looking at him, staring at him, wondering why in the world he was even at the service, ruining it for everyone else, but one person still had his back. One person in his life had a hold of him, picking him up from where he was sat, pulling him along, “Come on, you need some air.”   
  
“I can’t do this.” Frank admitted, his words finally sinking in for Gerard. He had said earlier that hadn’t been sure if he could go through with this. So sure that he could, Gerard had been proven wrong and now the best thing to do was to get him out of the church as quickly and as quietly as possible, “I can’t fucking-”   
  
“I know,” Gerard spoke soothingly, arm wrapped around Frank, directing him towards the door they came through, “Lets just go.”   
  
Frank had been all but ready to leave, not wanting to be there anymore because it was destroying him from the inside out. But something made him look around. Like a last goodbye because Jamia's coffin was up at the front, her photo next to it, Frank looked around to the front, his bottom lip wobbling, his whole frame shaking until he saw someone in the small crowd that had gather for her funeral.   
  
That was when Frank saw red. Every emotion that was pushing him to cry uncontrollably changed instantly. He didn’t know exactly how to feel when he saw Jamia's ex, Jimmy, stood there, looking at him like he was some sort of freak who had gone and gatecrashed this sad event.   
  
“Wh- what are you doing here?” Frank called out, not caring that he was making a scene, wriggling out of Gerards grip for a second, “You got a fucking invite, the ex that cheated on her and broke her heart. I was the one picking up the pieces after you destroyed her,” Frank pointed a finger towards Jimmy, furious over the fact that he had been invited yet Frank hadn’t been, “I was the one helping her mend her life after you went and fucked it up. Yet I didn’t get an invite. I get cheating scumbag falls higher on the list than best friend.”   
  
“Frank, calm yourself down now,” Gerard spoke, the warning tone in his voice. There was no way he could calm down. Seeing so much red, Frank was more that furious, his fists balling up, whole chest swelling with anger before he tried to release. His whole body lunging forward for Jimmy, unfortunately not getting very far thanks to a certain someone grabbing hold of the back of his suit, the other hand on his chest, trying to reel him back in, “Frank, stop, now.”   
  
“Fuck you all.” Frank hissed out, pushing himself from Gerard. He didn’t need to be dragged out by his boss. He was more than happy to leave already. So cross, Frank couldn’t even bring himself to be in the same place as the family and people who didn’t even want him there. Frank had said his goodbyes, he could say them whenever he wanted, but right now he just needed to get out of there, wiping his eyes and nose on the sleeve of his suit, not caring about the telling off Gerard would give him for it.   
  
Frank pushed open the church doors, walking out into the car park where they had been no that long ago. Blinded by tears and anger, Frank needed to vent. Having his fists clenched so tightly, Frank felt the need to hit something. Kick something, let out every emotion in him. All of the anger in his was bubbling right under his skin, completely overriding how sad he had been before he saw Jimmy at the service. How could have have been there when Frank wasn’t even invited? How could this have happened at all? This wasn’t fair. Jamia was gone but Frank really didn’t want to accept that for a second. He just wanted to fume and blown like a volcano, needing to take out how he felt on something.   
  
An oversized potted fern was the first thing he saw. Not wanting to take his anger out on anything that was close to where Gerard’s car was parked, Frank bit down on his lip, a pained, angry noise left him, his frustrations and feelings finally venting when he stormed over the the plant and kicked it hard. Kicked it again. Again and again while he vented uncontrollably.   
  
“Stupid, fucking bush...bullshit fucking...plant,” Frank cursed with every kick, not caring about how he was probably scuffing up his work shoes in front of Gerard was was watching him from a distance. Hands in his pockets, he let Frank vent. Clearly he needed a moment, even if the moment was probably going to end with him having a fractured or broken foot, “Asshole, cocksucking fern!”   
  
It wasn’t enough though. All that it was doing was giving Frank a sore foot. He still felt angry. Still felt a concoction of emotions battling it out inside of his body. Tears were falling again, but he was still angry. Still furious that Jimmy was there instead of him. How could they have been like this? How could they have been so cold hearted when Frank had been the one to help Jamia through so much. Helped her pick herself back up after Jimmy had destroyed her. Helped her through her entire pregnancy, right until the very end. He had even been the one to see her go, but no, of course he wasn’t invited. How could they do this to him when he had done so much?   
  
Frank leant down, doing the first thing that came into his head. Needing to let his feelings known, Frank grabbed at a medium sized rock that was near the edge of the car park. There was only one thing he could think of doing, leaving a mark because they had single handedly decided to not even include him, let it be known that he was pissed off and angry and upset and so many other emotions all at once when he went to take aim at the nearest window on the church.   
  
But he stopped, or was more stopped by a hand gripping his wrist, squeezing to the point that the rock fell from his grip.   
  
“I really don’t think that is a very good idea,” Gerard told Frank from behind him, still holding his wrist in case Frank decided to still do what he had planned to do, “Church windows are irreplaceable and I really don’t think you would be able to foot the bill.”   
  
It was in that moment when Gerard stopped him that Frank slowed down. He stopped his mind from racing and his actions from being damaging. His heart pounded in his chest, but still, yet again, it all became too much. Having Gerard holding him, stopping him from doing something so stupid, Frank realised how he had lost control. In a moment of anger and aggression, he had gone and vented, hurting, wanting to feel anything other than sadness. That however wasn’t possible as Frank felt the painful bubble forming in his chest again. Dipping his head down, Gerard wrapped an arm around him when the first sob left him. When the tears fell again and he crumbled, leaning against Gerard, holding onto his jacket tightly while he was held.   
  
“Come on,” Gerard spoke softly against Frank’s forehead, holding him while he shook, “Let’s get you out of here.”   
  
“Please.” Frank spoke against Gerard’s chest until they moved. Keeping an arm around him, Frank felt somewhat more in control as Gerard lead him to the car, opening his door to let him in. Frank climbed in, not watching when Gerard shut the door for him. Not even really paying attention when Gerard got in next to him. Frank sat in his seat, zoned out, crying still, whimpering as it all got too much for him again. It was more than he could even handle right now as he cried, whimpering next to his boss who was instructing his driver to take them somewhere.   
  
“I think a coffee and a calm down is in order before we go back into the office,” Gerard spoke, hoping to grab Frank’s attention for a second. He hadn’t though. Frank was staring out of the window, trying not to show how he had very little control on his emotions right now. Looking so pathetic. He didn’t want Gerard to judge him or think of him less just because he was crying yet again. Tears and snot probably smeared somewhere on his face from when he attempted to clean up his red and puffy face, “Frank, look at me please.”   
  
Nothing. Frank didn’t want to look at Gerard right now.   
  
It didn’t stop Gerard though. Frank looked down when he felt and heard his seatbelt being unclipped. Gerard had always been one for road and driving safety, clearly, but he ignored it when he wrapped a hand around Frank yet again, pulling him over, giving him the comfort that he so sorely needed right now. The hug to help him calm. Being held while it was okay to cry. Like a comfort blanket that softly pressed a kiss to his forehead, Frank wept, letting it all out finally. So sad. He knew that he shouldn’t have come to the funeral. It had been such a stupid idea, but at least he had someone with him right now. At least he had Gerard telling him that it was eventually going to be okay whilst holding him close in the back of his car.   



	26. Chapter 24: And All He Needed was Seven Inches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love this chapter. Has such Secretary vibes and that is one of my favourite films so I was always going to love this chapter then.
> 
> Any errors, apologies, but we think we got them all :)

Frank walked into the store the very next afternoon, the Wednesday lunch break had been set out for a very specific purpose. He had done a mental calculation in his head from his sordid flashback, stacking fingers on top of each other or measuring the side of his face and the little bit left over to figure it out.

 

And all he needed was seven inches.

 

Frank had realised that after he and Gerard had been together, that their one night together was most likely a sordid once off and that his sex life was left in the dust yet again. Yet, Frank couldn’t shake the feeling inside of him that Gerard had woken up, the yearning ache to be filled one more time and the time after that.

 

And here he was now with his mental math somewhat in order, the image of Gerard burned into his mind as he strolled through aisles upon aisles of toys that just weren’t right. He’d never done this before in his life and he felt so completely judged by the girl behind the counter eyeing him. Which is why he drove to the sex shop on the other side of town that he knew he would never ever go to again.

 

Seven inches, Frank repeated to himself, seeing them all go by in their boxes, all sorts of shapes and functions that didn’t interest him. He wanted real, he wanted heavy and obscene and far too realistic and if it meant not eating for a week to buy it, he’d survive.

 

The shop he was in now was at least a semblance of clean and less sleazy than he had expected. It wasn’t dark and lit in red like he had thought, the floor was a simple black tile to match the black shelves and rails that aisled the place, the walls a dark burgundy that added to the sexual energy charging the place up.

 

Frank was surprised to see the quality of the stuff inside, premium-looking boxes and everything else wrapped in plastic, the outfits and bodywear in the corner all in their packages beneath the show model. He didn’t even feel the need to put on the gloves he had sitting in his pocket for emergencies. 

 

Frank didn’t know what he had been expecting honestly, but it wasn’t this level, sure, it wasn’t going to be cellophane-wrapped cardboard and lotion like a bad DIY but he’d seen what the local shop looked like down the road from his old job and he wouldn’t have gone in there in a protective bubble.

 

He stopped suddenly, a word on one of the boxes catching his attention, making him swivel back to make sure he hadn’t been having a stroke.

 

“Ejaculating dildo?” Frank whispered softly, frowning in confusion, “How is that a thing?”

 

Frank picked up the box and had a look at it out of sheer curiosity, seeing the realistic-looking dildo and a disturbing syringe that was attached to it via a pipe.

 

“This can’t be real,” Frank turned, reading with vast amounts of intrigue, “For a dynamic and erotic sex toy, this dildo is for you. Me, really? Realistic squirting cock providing the uniquely stimulating sensation of ejaculation, eight inches. Realistic features including testicles, velvet-soft skin and the option to cum. Wh-... Suction bottom for hands free fun.”

 

Frank paused when a woman wandered passed him with one or two items, his instinct having him look down as she passed, before he continued reading, “Simply inject with body-safe lubricant in included pump. Best used with Pop Lubricant, realistic semen-like lube. Oh so you don’t even get the lube with it? What a jip. For seventy dollars? Fuck that.”

 

Frank pulled a face similar to that of a grimace and set the box down carefully, making sure it was steady where it had been before he continued browsing, eyes scanning for a normal and ejaculate-free dildo. 

 

And then one caught his attention right at the bottom, simple and just what he wanted and not too expensive. He smiled sheepishly as he grabbed the box in his hands and straightened up, reading on the box.

 

“Flexible, super realistic seven point four inch shaft with incredible life-like detail,” Frank scratched at his chin as he read under his breath, “Phthalate-free PVC, strong suction cup base for hands-free play and compatible with any ‘o’ ring strap-on harness. Twenty six dollars is more where I’m at. “

 

Frank tucked the box under his arm as he sucked in a breath and continued wandering, stopping only one shelf over when he looked at the vast and astounding array of lube.

 

“There’s so many… What?” Frank scanned over the different types, surprised to find them assorted by function than by brand, “Water-based, oil-based, silicone-based, mixed-base, organic and vegan, arousing lube, flavoured lube, sensitive lube, anal lube, warming lube, two in one massage lube, speciality lubes, fertility lubes, male masturbation lube… What the shit, I thought lube was lube?”

 

Frank looked down at the box under his arm, completely perplexed as to what he should now buy to go with it, he simply needed lube and his predicament could fall under many of the different types. He frowned, scanning through the names beneath the bottles yet again.

 

“Can I help you?” Someone asked, making Frank jump in surprise and launch back a step, yelping as the box dropped on the ground. He stared at the girl who had been behind the counter, obviously having seen his dismay etched and painted onto his face, “Do you need some help?”

 

“Well I uh. No.” Frank cleared his throat as he bent down, picking up his box before he sighed, “Yeah, I do. I lied.”

 

“Well what are you looking for?” She looked at the lubes in front of them both as Frank inspected the box of his toy, ignoring the red tint to his face. He was an adult, dammit, he could ask for help with lube if he needed it.

 

“Well I- I mean I’m getting this for myself so…” Frank chuckled awkwardly, holding up with dildo before dropping it down weakly, “I guess you’re the expert.”

 

“Well if you’re going to use it for suction in the shower then I’d suggest something that isn’t water based so it doesn’t run off, perhaps silicone-based.” 

 

“I don’t have a shower where I live.” Frank offered, “So uh, something for when I’m dry.”

 

“Well then how about this dual mix,” She picked up a bottle, tucking a piece of her long lime-coloured hair behind her ear when Frank decided to get a look at her, her pale skin in a gorgeous contrast with her highlighter hair, her lips a dark purple and pierced many, many times, her one eye solid black and the other a rimmed-white, “It’s anal-specific, water based and peach scented. It’s also on sale, only six dollars.”

 

“Yeah?” Frank frowned, taking it from her, “If- If that’s best.”

 

“Well there’s a whole bunch but the peach smells the best, doesn’t smell like plain old lube, y’know?”

 

“Yeah.” Frank scrunched up his nose, knowing exactly the smell in question considering Ryan would allow nothing else but plain old lube inside of him, no smells, no tastes, no fun, “Well then I guess this is it.”

 

“Anything else you need? A toy cleaning spray? Wipes?” She asked with a bright smile and Frank then realised how stark little he actually knew when it came to toys in general.

 

“Whichever is cheapest.” Frank admitted as he followed her to another aisle.

 

“This is the best cleaning spray for it's price,” She handed Frank a small, nozzled bottle, “I use the Nexus Wash spray and the wipes and I’ve had no complaints or issues with it. It’s antibacterial and fragrance free.”

 

“And they’re how much?” Frank raised an eyebrow when he caught notice of her tight leather pants and her leather bralette, her midriff hidden by a thick black and white striped something underneath her clothes. He also noted that she was most-likely his height but so much taller thanks to the intensely high boots she had on, intimidating shoes that seemed so impressive to him.

 

“The spray itself is only eight dollars, the wipes are four dollars. If you buy both then it’s only ten dollars.”

 

“Wow. A whole two dollars?” Frank gasped sarcastically, “Where do I sign?”

 

She giggled slightly and gestured to the counter as Frank grabbed a different bottle of spray than the tester he’d been handed and walked off, muttering under his breath about inane wipes for four dollars. 

 

“So that’ll be an even forty.” She smiled as she rung everything up and packed it all into a black nondescript plastic packet for him. Frank pulled out his wallet and handed her his cash before taking his things and walking out, feeling at least nine inches of relief fall off of his shoulders as he exited the store and walked out into the street.

 

~

 

“Frank, I trust your lunch break was good?” Gerard asked simply as he appeared in the office doorway just as Frank stuffed his black packet under his desk, turning to Gerard with a casual smile, noting his boss looking at it for a second and then up at him.

 

“Yeah- Yeah no it was good.”

 

“Did you eat?” Gerard queried as he sipped on a coffee that he had obviously gotten from someone else, his other hand casually in the pocket of-

 

“That’s a new suit?” Frank asked instead of answering his boss’ question, taking in the teal coloured material and the slight sheen to it against the contrast of his crisp white shirt and black tie.

 

“It is.” Gerard looked down, nodding before he looked back at his assistant, “I hope for your sake that that wasn’t a pitiful attempt to distract me from my question because I think you know better than that, don’t you boy?”

 

“Yes, sir.” Frank breathed out, “And no, sir, it wasn’t. I just noticed the suit now. It- You look good, sir.”

 

“Thank you, boy.” Gerard took another sip, “Now, did you eat?”

 

“I did.” Frank smiled, “I had a chicken wrap that I bought when I was out.”

 

“Good, boy.” Gerard nodded, “I also hope you don’t have any prior plans tonight. I need you…”

 

“I-” Frank’s throat closed up at Gerard’s words and the gaze that was being thrown his way, “You do?”

 

“Quite a bit.” Gerard sighed, “Are you able to lend a hand or not, boy?”

 

“Oh, I’m there.” Frank smiled slightly, “Whenever you need me, sir.”

 

“Good.” Gerard gave Frank a once over before disappearing into his office and closing the door. Frank let out a sigh, his stomach churning with anticipation at Gerard’s words and the sudden realisation that Gerard hadn’t just once-offed him and that maybe he needed time, that tonight would be the night after work that they’d finally be together again.

 

Frank was more than grateful that Derek hadn’t been in the office at all then, grateful that his office-mate had most likely also gone out on lunch or on some errand and that Gerard had seized the chance to make his intentions crystal clear to his assistant.

 

Frank shuddered out a breath as he got up, making sure that he looked somewhat presentable before knocking on Gerard’s door and opening it slowly when he had been given the green light.

 

“Yes, Frank? What can I do for you?”

 

“Well sir,” Frank withheld the urge to whimper at the way Gerard was eyeing him over his laptop, “It’s more of, is there anything I can do for you? Right now anyway.”

 

“For now I’m all set, you carry on with your quota for the day but- oh- tomorrow morning at eight, pencil in my telephonic meeting with Mrs. Adalind, if you would. We’re going to discuss the influx between her sector and mine. It should be about an hour.”

 

“Eight. Gotcha.” Frank nodded, “Nothing else?”

 

“Not for now, boy. You’re dismissed.” Gerard gave Frank a short smile before looking back down at his work. Frank closed the door and sighed out shakily, Gerard’s words resonating in his head, the glances he was given were so obvious. The only question was if Frank could hold out for that long?

 

The answer was abundantly clear to himself, resonating in all of the worse places that he couldn’t even begin to hold out for six hours like this. Not even close, not when he was trying his best to hide the semi in his slacks.

And then realisation hit him, realisation that maybe he didn’t have to wait, didn’t have to ride out the tumultuous storm raging in his body. His eyes wandered from the ceiling to the packet he had unceremoniously chucked under his desk and he bit his lip.

 

Dare he actually do something like that?

 

Would he completely ignore every moral fibre in his body and obey only the lewd whisperings in his ear from the devil on his shoulder. Frank mentally ticked both boxes as he casually made his way over to his desk, bending over when he caught sight of the box peeking out from the plastic bag.

 

Frank grabbed the packet by it's handles and snagged it, holding it nonchalantly bundled up under his arm as he peered out into the hallway. Cursing, he turned back to his desk, writing in Gerard’s appointment for the next morning before carrying on with his stealth mission.

 

He spotted the bathroom on the other side and bit his lip before he sidled out of the office before launching back in as Derek appeared, walking into the building.

 

“Oh, you’re back.” Derek smiled as Frank jumped, walking awkwardly in a small circle in the office, arms folded loosely over his chest with a pained smile on his face, “You okay? You look like you hit your toe and you’re tryna walk it off.”

 

“I- Pins and needles.” Frank chuckled as he continued his nervous panting and pacing, “I’m gonna walk it off outside.”

 

Before Derek could even respond Frank had darted out of the office in the direction of the bathroom, slipping into the toilets and into a stall, whimpering as he closed the door and lay his forehead on it in relief.

 

Frank dropped the packet on the floor as he sat back on the closed toilet, staring at it as he genuinely tried to reason with himself. He both really wanted to get himself off, aching for any touch, but he also knew it was a bad idea. 

 

Maybe he could just jerk off and get it over with. Frank pondered on the idea as he put his foot down on the end of the bag and slid it closer for inspection. He realised that he hadn’t even taken a look at what he had bought, too shy to want to come to the internal concession that he didn’t even know if he had gotten what he had paid for.

 

For science and for buyer promise, Frank needed to have a look. 

 

He carefully pulled the box out of the packet, his cheeks going pink at the picture on the front of it. He shook his head, opening it when he caught sight of the toy in question, his instinct was to let go and he did, dropping the box on the floor.

 

He swore under his breath, another obscene epiphany of great truth hit him in a wave that he had actually gone out and bought one of these sordid items. Something he never thought he’d do and here it was, sin reincarnate on the floor between his legs.

 

He bent over, picking the box up before he pulled the dildo out slowly, whimpering at the touch of it in his hand. He looked it over, blushing at how realistic it looked for something that it wasn’t. 

 

The weight of it was both heavier and lighter than he expected, the velvet of the skin had his own rise up with goosebumps. Innocent curiosity got the better of him as he lifted it up, looking around for a second before giving it a small experimental lick.

 

Frank let out a small giggle despite the obvious plastic taste when he realised he had no idea where it had been and his expression soured, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand twice over. He reached down into the packet and pulled out the spray he had bought, uncapping it and giving it a shake before spraying over every inch of the toy. 

 

He coughed lightly at the spritzing of whatever was in the bottle was now in his lungs and chucked the spray back into the packet before wiping it down on the leg of his pants. He looked at the bottle of lube and picked it up, trying to get it open and failing with the dildo still in his hand. He sighed, looking for a place to pick it up when he stuck it to the stall wall beside him, chuckling softly as it wobbled.

 

Frank opened up the lube, taking the seal off before replacing the cap and giving it a small squeeze, squirting some on his finger to examine it. And it did, in fact, smell like artificial peaches, like a blow pop or a hard candy. He looked at the bottle and saw that it was both scented and flavoured and he shrugged, licking his finger cautiously, tasting the lube in his tongue. The consistency was what got him, oily but not at the same time, the taste almost like a flavoured chapstick, subtle but not enough to want to eat it all in one go. 

 

He looked at the dildo again, his mind still trying to formulate how he wanted to do this, realising as he shoved his hand into his unbuttoned slacks that fucking himself on it would probably not be the best.

 

What if Gerard noticed him being less tight than last time? What if he noticed the lube and asked Frank what was up? And worse, what if this would just ruin later on for Frank, the initial stretch and burn not as good, the heavy feeling not as weighted down and the sex not being as mind-blowing as last time.

  
That would not do. 

 

Frank reigned in his hormones with a sigh, shucking his pants down with a free hand as he resigned to the fact that masturbation would be the way to go with his ‘taking-the-edge-off’.

 

But who said he couldn’t at least spice that up, so to speak. Frank grabbed the bottle of lube yet again, squirting the smallest amount in his hand before he dropped it back down beside him between the wall and the toilet on his left.

 

Frank managed to shuck his slacks and his underwear down to his knees with his hand before the other hand slicked in lube was wrapped around his dick, stroking. Frank gasped softly at the feel, trying his best to keep himself quiet as his legs slid forward and out in front of him and he slouched back, one hand on the wall to keep himself up.

 

He screwed his eyes shut as he picked up the pace, wanting so badly to get it over with and at the same time wanting to relish in the moment, in the cheap thrill of getting off at work, so close to the object of his most salacious wet dreams. Frank tightened his grip around the base of his dick and slid up, thumbing roughly at the tip before repeating the action. The resonance of it was felt in his stomach and his chest and almost everywhere, making his feet turn inward and his toes stretch out in his shoes, making his hand curl and his nails dig into the stall wall.

 

“F- Fuck.” Frank groaned roughly, leaning his head on his hand on the wall, speeding up slowly, chasing his release that seemed too far away still, something so sordidly missing from the moment. 

 

And then it caught his attention, what was missing in that moment, his eye glancing at the toy so close to his face. He knew he shouldn’t fuck himself with it, he knew it would be too obvious and that he’d still have to work afterwards on top of it. But he just needed something, anything to make him feel all the more used and degraded.

 

Dare he do it? Dare he do what he thought so disgusting and so unusual? Yes. Frank let out a small whimper, his slicked fingers going down over his balls, squeezing softly, sending a heavy torrent of ecstasy through him as he slipped off of the toilet and onto his knees on the floor.

 

Frank had to admit, even just the position he was in was a change of pace, he’d rarely- if ever-  masturbated sitting up on his knees before. Frank sucked in a breath as he turned, his slacks slippery on the tiles as he wrapped his slicked hand around the toy that was right in front of him, slicking it up in the melange of lube and his own fluids, stroking it as his imagination did it’s best at changing scenery.

 

And oh, Frank was more than grateful at his vivid subconscious, grateful that he somewhat closed his eyes as his hand returned to where it was previous. It was now or never, he thought to himself, taking the plunge and wrapping his mouth around the tip of his new toy.

 

Frank let out a whimper, his hand instinctively tightening around his dick, picking up the pace of his rough strokes as he slid more into his mouth. Frank was surprised at how lifelike it felt, despite the only jarring problem being it’s lack of warmth, and just how the weight of it on his tongue made his brain do a backflip. This was it, this is what was going to get him off. 

 

Frank slid further, taking in as much as he could before pulling back, screwing his eyes shut even tighter, his body tensing and his head bobbing back and forth. Frank’s free hand rakes up the stall wall and gripped the base of the dick in his mouth, stroking slowly before he found himself tugging at his own hair. The sharp pangs of stinging ache in his skull wer glorious, painful and just damn near perfect. 

 

Frank moaned around the dildo in his mouth, gagging as he sped up his head motions with those of his peach-slicked hand. Frank thumbed at the slit of his dick, his body jerking at the oversensitivity as his index finger teasingly trailed over the steel bar pierced through the underside skin. 

 

Frank pulled off, whimpering softly, “F- Fuck..” 

 

Frank looked down, lips slippery and glazed with spit as he watched himself get off, whining quietly as the tight coils of his release grew to a painful point, knowing all too well that he was on the very tipping point of a most-inappropriate orgasm.

 

“O- Oh God, fuck. A- Ah…” Frank babbled, gritting his teeth, his head thrown back on his shoulders, his arm aching as he rocked his hips up brokenly into his hand. Frank resumed the disgusting show of cock-sucking his dildo, way passed caring at this point. Ge went as far as he could, the toy hitting the back of his throat and he held himself there, whimpering at the thought of his boss who was mere yards away and unbenounced to the entire show.

 

Frank’s mind flashed to the night they were together, the time when he had done exactly this to Gerard, replaying the sounds that left him, replaying every single part of it, his incessant brain adding in smipets that weren’t even part of their night together, showing mere glimpses of Gerard’s eyes on him in that overly-sexual manner, of his hands and how they’d curl, how his lips would purse or how he’d bite.

 

It was the one last glance of stern hazel eyes in Frank’s mind that sent him over the edge, his body tensing before it shattered right there on the floor. Frank moaned out around the dick in his mouth as he came, pulling off as he stroked himself through his orgasm quickly. He looked down, unable to help himself, as he came over his fist and on the floor between his legs.

 

He panted, his skin hot and sweaty under his clothes, his heart racing like it always did, his stomach taut as though he’d just done a set of push-ups. The ache in his knees was coming back then too and he winced at the pain, whimpering as he let go of himself.

 

“Shit.” Frank whispered softly, realising the mess he’d have to clean up- including himself, “Worth it.”

 

~

 

Frank couldn’t wait for everyone to leave, he was practically bouncing in his seat as Derek packed his backpack, stuffing the contents into it with a smile on his face.

 

“You guys all going out again?” Frank asked as he swung himself back and forth slowly, hearing Derek hum.

 

“Yeah we are. And I take it you’re gonna be here with boss-man again?” Derek raised an eyebrow and Frank nodded, trying his best to look forlorn.

 

“At least Lindsey will be there.” Frank added in as a lie to asperge the small glimmer of suspicion that he was spending the night with his boss again just in case Derek was onto him.

 

“Oh?” Derek looked up, “She’s gonna be there too?”

 

“Yeah, she’s been helping me out lately.” Frank waved a dismissive hand, trying to make his lie as believable as possible, “Sweet of her though.”

 

“I see…” Derek shrugged his bag on and put his cap on his head, fixing his glasses, “Well I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

 

“Yeah.” Frank smiled as he got up, walking slightly behind Derek out into the hall where everyone was clocking out, the excitement in the air was palpable.

 

“Enjoy your evening, everyone.” Gerard appeared in the doorway of his office, a cup of coffee in his hands, one foot draped casually over the other as he leaned on the frame.

 

“See ya, boss.” Derek gave Gerard a smile as he clocked out and walked out, leaving Frank and Gerard alone in the building.

 

“I’m glad you decided to stay.” Gerard stated cryptically and all Frank could do was nod, words were far too much for him to handle right now. Frank looked around at the empty office and then at Gerard, who stepped out of the way and gestured for his assistant to enter.

 

Frank ambled into the office, shrugging off his blazer and setting it on the back of his usual chair as Gerard closed the door and walked around, giving Frank’s shoulder a squeeze as he walked. The touch sent shots of electricity through Frank’s body and he withheld the groan in his throat as Gerard set his coffee down and slid ever-so-gracefully into his chair.

 

“Now then, boy…” Gerard sighed as he slid into his chair, “I need you…”

 

“Y- Yeah?” Frank swallowed, frowning slightly as he fidgeting in his seat.

 

“Come here.” Gerard looked at Frank before going through the papers he had in front of him, scanning them quickly. Frank nodded, getting out of his chair before he walked around the desk to stand at Gerard’s side, “On my right, always the right, boy.”

 

“Oh, yes sir.” Frank muttered, scooting around to the other side, leaning over the chair, “What can I do?”

 

“Well first off, I want to ask you a few questions.” Gerard cleared his throat as he turned to Frank, “About you.”

 

“I- Well okay, go ahead.” Frank smiled.

 

“Just some questions about you, boy. I just want to know a little about your take on things.” Gerard steepled his fingers, their eyes locking, “Did you vote in the last election?”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

“Who?”

 

“Obama, sir.” Frank beamed with pride when he saw Gerard’s nod of approval at his answer then, knowing he’d at least got one thing right.

 

“How old were you when you first voted?”

 

“Eighteen.”

 

“What’s the minimum voting age in the Americas?”

 

“Eighteen, sir.”

 

“What type of political system does the Americas have?”

 

“Presidential, constitutional, liberal and federal, sir.” Frank answered, trying to figure out why Gerard was asking him these odd questions, he knew they were obviously both in politics but why now?

 

“Good, boy.” Gerard cleared his throat, “Type of government?”

 

“The United States might be labeled a constitutional federal representative democracy, I guess.” Frank shrugged.

 

“What does an ambassador do?”

 

“A political ambassador, you mean?” Frank asked and Gerard nodded, “An ambassador is an official envoy. I mean, especially a high-ranking diplomat who represents a state and is usually credited to another sovereign state or to an international organization as the resident representative of their own government or sovereign or appointed for a special and often temporary diplomatic assignment.”

 

“Very nice.” Gerard smiled, “Why is it important to have reliable ambassadors?”

 

“Oh,” Frank bit his lip, thinking as he leant back, holding himself up with his hands on Gerard’s desk, “Well I mean, they have to be reliable or it sets a bad example for their country and the government they represent. What if I was an ambassador and I went to Russia and I got caught out with drugs and a whore? No one would want to have anything to do with me or whoever I deal with.”

 

“A fair point.” Gerard nodded, “What are the main political parties in the Americas?”

 

“Sir?”

 

“Yes, boy?”

 

“Can I just…” Frank pursed his lips, “I don’t think you’re saying it right. I mean, I don’t want to be that person but there’s a difference between ‘USA’, the ‘US’ and ‘The States’. Like, America is the continents of America, like North and South and I know what you mean but I don’t think it’s right to just group them all together. Canada is part of America but not really of the States of America, they’re part of the UK’s union, I’m pretty sure. And saying ‘The Americas’ is like grouping them in with us when they’re not really. I didn’t want to say anything but I guess ‘USA’ or ‘the US’ or whatever is better, less asshole-y. America is not USA whereas, USA is America or inside America...”

 

“Frank?”

 

“Yes, sir?” Frank grimaced, waiting for the ass-kicking of a lifetime.

 

“I’m glad you noticed.’ Gerard smiled and Frank looked up at him in surprise, “It was an intentional error to see if you’d pick up on it and if you’d say anything.”

 

“Really?” Frank frowned.

 

“Do you honestly think that I would make such an error?” Gerard then asked and Frank thought about it, realising he was right, “Exactly, boy.”

 

“You did all that to test me?”

 

“Initially no, but I threw it in there for the hell of it.” Gerard chuckled and Frank felt relieved to say the least, “Lastly, boy. Is voting an important responsibility of a citizen?”

 

“Well yeah, I mean every vote counts in my book.” Frank shrugged, “You can’t have people sitting around and bitching and moaning about the government and they don’t even vote in the first place. If everyone decided to be lazy and not vote then there wouldn’t be a damn thing happening. I just think that it’s important, yeah. Especially if there’s a problem with the country and something needs to be done.”

 

“Good.” Gerard sighed, “I’m glad you still seem to have that spark about you. I was hoping you wouldn’t get bored working for me.”

 

“For you, sir? Never.” Frank grinned as Gerard turned back to his desk in his chair, grabbing the stapler from his drawer and stapling the pages in his hands together swiftly. 

 

Frank raised an eyebrow, watching Gerard go about his task and he realised what was happening, so clear to him that Gerard was nervous, he was for once shy about making the first move like last time just in case he, Frank, wouldn’t be interested. Frank knew what a daunting task it was to make the first move and he knew how he felt about it but considering he had done it before, he had decided to take plunge as last time.

 

He leaned closer to Gerard, hands on the armrest, causing his boss to turn and look up at him solemnly, biting his lip.

 

“Frank?”

 

“Yes, sir?” Frank asked as he leaned in closer, but Gerard’s gaze broke off, his head turning away from Frank. The latter frowned in confusion before he leaned in, his lips soft on Gerard’s neck, feeling his pulse quicken like it had before.

 

Gerard swallowed hard before he moved away, a shaky breath in his chest that Frank didn’t miss, ignoring Frank for a moment, “Please, we have to get this done.”

 

“Oh…’ Frank shook his head, realising that Gerard had wanted to get everything done first before they did anything themselves. Frank merely smiled, leaning in to kiss Gerard’s cheek for a second, lingering when Gerard didn’t move away, “Yes, sir.” 

 

The whisper in Gerard’s ear seemed to do something, the whisper had Gerard’s hand tighten on the pages before he set them down and leaned over, giving Frank a set of files.

 

“I need you to file these for me, please. Sarah didn’t finish it earlier.” Gerard stated simply, now officially ignoring Frank’s eye contact. Frank walked around the desk and set the files down, opening them and skimming through to make sure they were in the right order, “Do you always do that?”

 

“Yeah, just in case.” Frank muttered, “Is that a problem, sir?”

 

“No, not at all.” Gerard took a sip of his coffee, “I never noticed. Very thorough, boy.”

 

“We aim to please, sir.” Frank smirked up at Gerard, who merely raised an eyebrow in return.

 

Frank finished going through the file and set it aside, his insides getting more and more worked up around Gerard. Frank sucked in a breath and picked up the files, deciding they were organised enough, and scurried off into the filing room.

 

Once inside, he let out a sigh, hugging the files to his chest for a single minute before he looked down at the file names and began sorting them out, sliding each file into their corresponding code numbers and names. 

 

Frank finished put the manilla sleeves of paper away and stood there, hands on his hips, as he did his damnedest to collect himself before going back out. But he finally did after calling his cowardly self out and threatening to quit masturbating for a year if he didn’t leave the tiny room. Frank opened the door and walked out, striding casually back into Gerard’s office to see him leaning over his desk, standing up rather than sitting, eyes on his laptop and looking perturbed as all hell.

 

“Sir?”

 

“Sit.” Gerard ordered simply and Frank jumped, scurrying to his seat and sliding into it as Gerard ran a hand frustratedly through his hair, turning from his assistant.

 

“Sir?” Frank asked, suddenly wary, thinking back to whether or not he had done something to piss off his boss.

 

“In a minute, Frank.” Gerard replied, his voice way too calm, almost eerie and unnerving, like the calm before the storm, “I’m thinking.”

 

“Oh…” Frank whispered softly, looking down at his hands as he swayed back and forth in his chair.

 

“Tell me something,” Gerard turned to face Frank and they locked eyes yet again before Gerard looked away, “When you’re upset, how do you handle it?”

 

“I- What?” Frank frowned, “Well you saw how I handled Jamia.”

 

“Drinking and casual sex.” Gerard snorted, “Very philanthropic.”

 

“Don’t judge how I handle things,” Frank shot back, somewhat offended by Gerard’s seemingly offhand reaction, “How do you handle it then?”

 

“Drinking and casual sex.” Gerard replied simply before he walked over to Frank, hands suddenly on the armrests of Frank’s chair, turning him so that they were face to face, “Did you use me to make yourself feel better?”

 

“Wh- No, of course not.” Frank’s eyes widened at the mere thought, “I wouldn’t do that.”

 

Gerard straightened up after the hard scrutinising of Frank’s face seemed complete, turning and walking away from him yet again, “It doesn’t matter.”

 

“Why?” Frank stood up and walked closer as Gerard flopped into his desk chair and turned to look up at Frank, “Why doesn’t it matter?”

 

“Because it’s over.” Gerard shrugged, “Isn’t it? You sure seemed eager to leave.”

 

“I…” Frank paused, wracking his brain back to that morning when he shook his head and closed the distance between them, his lips on Gerard’s in a swift kiss. Gerard let out a soft noise before he bit down hard on Frank’s bottom lip and pulled away, moving back and breaking their kiss. Frank let out a small hiss at the pain in his lip, surprised by the action.

 

“Don’t do that…” Gerard whispered softly, scowling up at his assistant, clutching his chair as he moved back somewhat, “I didn’t say you could do that.”

 

“That never stopped me last time.” Frank moved slightly closer, determined to get passed Gerard’s inane mind games.

 

“Last time you needed me.” Gerard reminded and Frank tilted his head to the side, “You needed someone to be with you and I could see it in your eyes.”

 

“What if I need you now?” Frank asked as he stepped between Gerard’s legs, “Different reasons maybe, but what if I do?”

 

“Do you?” Gerard raised an eyebrow, his face etched with doubt.

 

“Well why don’t I show you?”

 

“No.” Gerard said firmly and Frank rolled his eyes, reaching up to unfasten Gerard’s tie, undoing the top button of Gerard’s shirt when he let out a yelp.

 

Gerard had pushed him back, pushing Frank against the desk, on his feet in an instant, hands wrapped like iron-vices around the younger’s wrists. Frank let out a whimper as Gerard tightened his grip.

 

“You will do to learn your place, Frank. I. Said... No.” Gerard whispered, looking down at him angrily as he pushed Frank against the desk, whispered threats against the back of Frank’s ear. Frank looked up into Gerard’s eyes, seeing the bright and molten anger in them behind the hard glaze of icy Dominance. Frank swallowed as Gerard held his wrists down, “If I say something, you listen. Or you will bare consequences.”

 

“I- I…” Frank whimpered, suddenly terrified of his boss, his knees shaking as he was pressed against the desk, the rage of emotions swirling in him was enough to make him nauseous, much like a thrilling carnival ride.

 

Only this ride wasn’t letting him on.

 

“You will go home now, understand? I can do this without you if all you’re going to do is piss around.” Gerard let go of Frank’s hands and took him in a firm squeeze by the shoulder when Frank’s eyes widened and he stopped dead, turning.

 

“I- I don’t understand… I thought you- You and I- We…”

 

“There is no ‘we’, Frank. Not now. Not this time. And I expect that when you arrive at work tomorrow you will have put this all to bed in your childish head or I will have to do something about it, are we clear?”

 

“Y- Yes… Yes, sir.” Frank shuddered softly, “I understand.”

 

“I hope you do. The last thing I want is to let you go.” Gerard eyed his assistant, “I’m under too much pressure to do this now. And it would be best if you went home.”

 

“Yes, I understand, sir.” Frank nodded, still reeling inside at the hard touch from his boss, “Whatever you want, sir.”

 

“I want you, Frank…” Gerard sighed, “To go home.”


	27. Chapter 25: Carpet Burns on a Wednesday Night Smells Like Regret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The sheer cringey desperation in this chapter is amazing. I love what I wrote. I hope you do too.

Frank got back to the one place that he really wished he didn’t have to go to. Unfortunately though, with how things had transpired, he didn’t have a choice when it came to living arrangements. After losing Jamia, Frank knew that he couldn’t continue living in her house. The place was being sold by her parents and they hadn’t been best pleased about the fact that he was crashing in her spare room rent free. So as soon as he could, Frank packed up what little possessions he had and moved out, not entirely knowing where he was going to go. He didn’t exactly have many options. It wasn’t even like he could continue sleeping in the guest room of his bosses house. That had been a one off thing after Jamia had passed. Plus Gerard hadn’t exactly been the same around him since they had slept together, choosing to ignore Franks questioning about what they were now that they had slept together. It hadn’t exactly got awkward, but there had definitely been something wedging between the two of them. Even earlier this evening, things had gotten a little intense between the two of them so of course Frank knew that there was no way he could have stayed at his place. That really would have been awkward, especially after how Gerard had spoken to him earlier.

And that was the whole reason why Frank actually felt the need to get back to where he really didn’t want to be at this point in his life. For once in the past few days since he had chosen his last resort, becoming the only guy he knew who had to lump it and live in the seediest looking motel he had ever known to exist, he found himself rushing to get back. Needing to get behind the locked door of his new home, just needing. That was all Frank could feel coursing through his entire being. A need that wouldn’t go to sleep. Hell, he had even rushed when it came to picking up dinner, calling the take out place ahead of time just so he could pick up and pay for his noodles as soon as he got there. Food wasn’t really high on his list of priorities right now, but still, he picked it up anyway before continuing on his journey home. His dinner resting on the passenger seat of his car along with his work bag and the other bag that he had required earlier in the day. The unlabelled bag of wonder which Frank kept glancing at when he had a moment to do so. His need completely gravitating towards the contents of the bag.

Frank had never gotten home as quickly as he had done in a long time. The last time he had rushed home was because he had been late getting back home for date night with Ryan, but this was completely different now. This need was so intense. Still intense even though what was in the bag had already been used once today. 

He didn’t get it. Yes, Frank knew that he had a high sex drive, but being like this so soon after he had gone and jerked off in the staff toilets with his newly acquired sex toy in his mouth, this was new for him. The way he felt, like his mind was clouded with a static haze, Frank couldn’t get over how it was still affecting him. How he felt completely on edge with it, how his leg had been twitching in the car before he parked up, grabbing his bags before leaving to go into his new home.

Casa de Dallas as Frank had named it, what with the fact that his new digs definitely looked like it was stuck in some sort of seventies time warp. The bedding was a hideous black paisley pattern that Frank swore only the elderly would have in their home. The floor was no better. A horrid brown colour, with the kind of pattern on it that reminded him of a seeing eye picture. God knows what he would see if he stared into it, probably how depressing his life had gotten and Frank really didn’t want to see that. The walls were an insipid yellow colour, probably that colour from smokers who had been in the same room before him. The whole space was tiny, so cramped and what was more depressing was the fact that his expensive suits that Gerard had bought him were being hung in the most dated wardrobe he had ever seen. The whole room was the most depressing thing Frank had ever seen, making his heart sink a little while he climbed the stairs of the motel, getting onto his floor before walking down to his door. Unlocking the door, Frank pushed it open with his shoulder, struggling with his bags for a moment before he got in, setting them down on the vanity in front of him so he could shut the door behind him.

Home sweet home, Frank thought, resting his back against the door, taking a moment to try and get his shit together in his head, even though his thoughts were far too scattered right now to even consider it.

Frank couldn’t shake how he felt at all. What had happened earlier had really knocked him for six. He had only been the way he had been because he assumed that Gerard had asked him to work late for one reason alone. Frank had only gone to make a move on Gerard because he thought that it was going to happen for them again. He had only gone to do what had happened because Gerard had started this whole thing with him. All he wanted was to be with him again. It didn’t matter where. Frank had been at the point that he would have let Gerard have him bent over his desk, but that had not been the case.

Frank had been annoyed when Gerard kept trying to stop him time and time again, but he had been completely shocked when Gerard actually stopped him from advancing altogether. In an instant Frank had gone from trying to take his tie off to Gerard grabbing at his wrists, pulling him away, holding him back, glaring at him, telling him no in a tone that did numbers on Frank.

Numbers that were still affecting Frank. He couldn’t believe that Gerard had been like that with him. The way he had spoken to him, it should have scared Frank, but it had done quite the opposite to him. So far from scared. It was like the on switch had been jammed on Frank, pressed too hard so he couldn’t switch off. The way Gerard had spoken to him had made Frank giddy, seeing him in a whole new light that was more alluring. There was being attracted to someone and then there was a whole other level. Frank felt like he had finally reached that level with Gerard. It wasn’t just about finding him so attractive that he might want to do anything and everything for him. It was getting to the point, especially after the way Gerard had been with him earlier, that he would do absolutely anything and everything with him, no matter how colourful or twisted it got.

This coming from the guy who wanted to have sex with Gerard in his office. That was definitely new for Frank, seeing as his usual sexual antics included the left side of his old bed and good old fashioned missionary position. 

Frank moved away from the door, drawing in a shaky breath. There was a small part of him that wished he could shake this off, but the rest of him chose to ignore that tiny voice in the back of his head that said to leave it alone. Just chill for the evening. How could he chill when after the way Gerard had spoken to him? He felt more alive than he had done in years. Like a fire in the pit of his stomach, it had been lit and for the love of god he didn’t want that to go out. No, he wanted to stoke the fire and turn it into an inferno, it was just…

Frank went and sat down on the edge of his bed, internally fighting with himself because now that he was home and he was behind closed doors, there was only one thing that was crossing him mind. As much as he had wanted something else to happen tonight, which it hadn’t, he still wanted more. He still wanted to feel something because earlier at work just didn’t feel like enough now and the way that Gerard had spoken to him made Frank want more. Need more because that had been crazy and that had driven him to this point. The point of near insanity because he knew that if he didn’t do something, there was no way in hell he was going to be able to get through the night.

It was just timings and logistics and how it was going to work and where it was going to work and god, Frank couldn’t even focus properly with Gerard speaking to him like that still ringing in his ears. The order along with the tight grip on his wrists had Frank dumbstruck. Not entirely surprised at him sounding like that, but hearing him sound like that while all he had wanted was Gerard in him again, that really took Frank by surprise. The surprise going straight to his dick, leaving him with a semi which he still had now. A semi which he really wanted to sort out.

Frank looked on top of the vanity at what he had brought home with him, his dinner going cold in the bag next to the other unmarked bag which he couldn’t take his eyes off. For a moment all he could do was look at the bag, like he was trying to process that he was going to do this again. Of course he was, Frank knew that there was no other way he was going to be satisfied if he didn’t do it. Jerking off in bed wasn’t going to be enough. What he had done at work had curbed his hunger for a short period of time and now all he wanted was to do something again. Something more. Properly go to town on this because he was home and he was behind closed doors where he wasn’t going to be caught out if he made a sound. 

Earlier had been exciting but now it was boiling down to just needing it again. His substitute for what he wasn’t getting. Gerard. God how he wanted him again, but that wasn’t happening. This was going to happen and Frank was more than sure of it as he got up from where he was sat on the edge of the bed, going over to the bag, rifling for a second before he pulled out the dildo, weighing up how this was going to work best for him.

Frank sat himself back down on the bed, taking a moment to assess what he was about to do and how this was going to work. Just holding the dildo in his hands, his mind started to go a mile an hour. His imagination running wild, like he was with Gerard right now, hands wrapped around him. For a second he completely forgot that he was in his shitty motel room, actually about to consider how he was going to fuck himself. In his mind he was with Gerard and in his pants he was more than aching for this. Dick hard now, aching because it felt like he had gone ages without anything like this, not just a few hours. His drive was cranked up beyond max now and Frank couldn’t just ignore how this was all he wanted. Needed. Desperate to feel like he was with Gerard yet again. Yearning for this, Frank moved one hand, massaging himself through his suit pants, letting a breath of a moan escape him before it was decided. There was no going back from this. Like earlier, Frank knew that this had to happen or he felt like he was going to go crazy. Lose his mind over the man who had had a hold of him, pinning him back. Restraining him which only made things worse for Frank in the most indescribable way possible. 

Frank tossed the dildo onto the bed for a second, making light work of undressing himself. Pulling his tie free from around his neck before unbuttoning his shirt as quickly as possible, Frank tried to think about how this was going to work. His thoughts were near scrambled, he could barely string a single thought process together while he discarded his shirt, letting it fall to the floor without a care. Feeling like he was in heat, Frank stood up, quickly going over to the window to close the curtains before he shoved his work pants down, kicking off his shoes. He tried to get a grip on the situation, a grip on the dildo because now he was naked, stood in his motel room, looking at the dildo like it was the answer to everything. It was, seeing as he didn’t have Gerard with him, hadn’t had Gerard earlier in his office. His dick twitched at the thought of it being buried inside of him. A shiver ran down his spine at the thought of finally being able to use it properly. How it was going to work though, Frank hadn’t quite got to that point yet as he stood still for a moment, his fingers running over the suction cup at the base of the dildo.

Sticking it to something was definitely what he wanted to go for, but what? Frank hadn’t gotten to the point where he knew exactly how this was going to work for him. All he kept thinking about was where he was going to put it so he could imagine that he was with Gerard again, not having to hold the toy and fuck himself like that. He was so sure that if he did it while holding it then it wasn’t going to be enough. It had to be so much more to satiate this new hunger that was pent up inside of him.

It was like a whole other side that Frank didn’t know about himself. Before when he hadn’t got it from Ryan he would usually just let it pass, if that was even possible, or he would jack off and have done with it. It had been like a form of repression and maybe all he had needed was to have someone who was far stronger than he was in that way. Someone who knew what he wanted and how he wanted it. Fair enough, Gerard hadn’t wanted him now, clearly saying no to him, but that hadn’t stifled Frank at all. It had done quite the opposite, bringing to him this whole new need which seemed so sordid yet so tempting. Like it was something that he might like. Not that he knew. How could he know when his desires with Ryan had only been stifled. This was new. This was something that Frank couldn’t just push to one side and ignore. This had to be something that he dealt with right now. A whole other side of him that clearly he wanted to discover.

Frank looked over the room. He had the base of the dildo pressed against his palm, figuring out how best this was going to work with his own hand. Imagining that his hand was wherever he was going to set the sex toy down. There were possibilities, it was just a matter of deciding on if he would do it there or if it was even possible. The headboard seemed like a good idea, but it also looked like it would be too low. The angle wouldn’t be right and he felt like he would have ended up more frustrated than satisfied doing it there. Another option was sticking it to the wall, but there were some pretty nasty looking stains on the wall that Frank really didn’t want his ass going near, no matter how horny he was right now. 

Definitely not against the fridge. That just seemed to weird and he really did not want to think about doing it somewhere where afterwards he was probably going to end up putting his dinner because he was far too wiped out to even consider eating. 

Though there was one place. The only other viable option that Frank could think of. It didn’t seem possible, like it would be too hard for him to achieve anything. It meant that he would have to probably move stuff around in his room to get it to work, but Frank was more than happy to make this work. It had to work as his eyes focussed on the side of the wardrobe. 

And as much as Frank was happy to move stuff to make it work, he had gotten to the point that if he didn’t do something soon, he felt like he was going to burst. A combination of laziness and need overcoming his as he grabbed the bags from the vanity, dumping them on the floor haphazardly. He didn’t care about tidiness right now. He didn’t even care about his dinner while he flipped the dildo over in his hands, licking at the base of it before sticking the suction cup firmly to where he had decided that it was going to work.

Frank paused for a moment, pulling in a shaky breath while he looked at the dildo stuck to the side of the wardrobe, watching it wobble for a second before seeing the reflection of it in the mirror above the vanity. He knew he could have moved it out of the way and stuck it lower to the floor, but time was of the essence. He didn’t want to waste any time right now, wrapping a hand around his cock, stroking it lazily, pulling him back into what he was about to do before he went back to the bag, retrieving the lube. 

Peach or not, Frank really wasn’t paying attention to the fact that the lube he had bought was scented. Yes, it did smell nice, but it wasn’t like he was going to get off while smelling it. He just wanted to get off. Uncapping the lube, Frank squirted some onto his fingers, smearing at over them before going to prep. Reaching round while he had a hand gripping onto the vanity, Frank bit his lip when he circled his hole with his slick digits. The feeling rippled through when he pushed in, a small burn resonating. Not enough lube, he immediately thought, but Frank was far too gone with this to even care that he hadn’t used enough. One finger became two in him, stretching quickly. He couldn’t wait. Panting at the beginning, Frank couldn’t even begin to consider doing this slowly, prepping properly. He needed this now. Needed this as soon as he walked through his motel room door. There was no way in hell he was going to waste anymore time when he pulled his fingers out, thinking fuck it in more ways than one.

Frank ran his still slicked hand over the dildo, his stomach knotting at the idea of finally being able to do this. Clearly this probably wasn’t the best way that he could have done it, but that didn’t matter to him at all right now. Frank barely put any thought into what he was doing, other than he was actually going to do this while he moved the chair that was set under the vanity. Hand still on the back of the chair, he planted one foot on the chair, making sure it was sturdy enough to take his weight before he climbed onto the vanity.

Of all the places, Frank didn’t think about the fact that he was currently on top of somewhere where the other night he had eaten his dinner instead of watching tv because the stupid thing hadn’t been working. He ignored it all as he paused, hoping and praying to god that he wasn’t about to come plummeting to the floor because the vanity couldn’t take his weight. It seemed okay though as he took a breath, thankful for this. Thankful for the fact that this was actually about to happen. Just fucking thankful as he shifted, ignoring his reflection in the mirror for a moment as he lined up, feeling the toy against himself, rocking against it as a quiet moan left his lips. 

Can’t be too loud, Frank thought. The motel walls were practically paper thin. He knew this from when he had heard someone one or two rooms over having sex the other night when he was trying to get to sleep. Keeping his volume down, Frank felt dazed over this, finally getting something. It wasn’t the real deal as he rubbed back against the dildo, the feeling of it against his hole enough to have him keening, but it would have to be enough. It was the next best thing which was going to have to be the best thing right now.

Frank held his breath when he pushed back against the dildo slowly. Nudging the head of it slowly into himself, his mouth dropped open and no noise came out of him when he slowly started to push back more. The sting of the toy stretching him more than he had with his fingers rang out inside of him. Feeling the need to stop, he didn’t, even though he guessed that he hadn’t used enough lube. It hurt a little more than he had expected it to, but the pain felt good, mingling in with the pleasure of finally being full again. Not knowing how much of it was already in him, Frank wanted to push back more, sink down against the toy and finally have what he wanted, but he still moved slowly, savouring how good it felt. Blissful pain and pleasure that was going straight to his dick, making his skin feel hot, a prickling sensation taking over him while he clung onto the side of the vanity, groaning until his ass came in contact with here he had stuck the toy.

Frank dipped his head low between his shoulders, panting at the feeling of finally being full again. He tried to shut off his surrounds, closing his eyes, trying his best to imagine that he had gotten exactly what he had wanted. He wasn’t alone in his room in his head. No, he was with Gerard, his imagination running amok when he shifted slightly, the weight of the dildo in him shifting, the angle ever so fractionally different, but god did it feel good. Not exactly how he hoped that it would have panned out for him, but still, this felt more than good. Fucking exquisite when he rocked forward on the dildo, feeling breathless when he sunk back against it.

Frank began to build up a rhythm, rocking himself back and forth against the toy. In his head, he wasn’t in his shitty motel room with a dildo in his ass. In his head he was with Gerard, again, finally. The older man finally succumbing to what Frank wanted. What he wanted too. There was no denying that there was something between them, even if Gerard had rejected him in such an aggressive manner. It didn’t stop Frank and it wasn’t stopping him now when he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror next to him. The sight of the dildo disappearing into him. It didn’t look like he was fucking a toy that was stuck to the wardrobe. It just looked real and it all piled on top of Frank, making him breathe out Gerard’s name when he pushed back a little firmer, cursing while he felt every inch of the dildo in him.

“Fuck…” Frank panted out, ignoring how his knees were starting to ache from where he was kneeling on wood. Shifting himself, Frank leant down a little lower, choking out when the change in angle made it feel so overwhelmingly good. With his ass up in the air, Frank could almost imagine how it would look if he were with Gerard right now. Having him buried in him, his hands on Franks hips, holding him so tight that there would probably be marks by the time they were done. Just pulling and pushing Frank onto his dick, making him feel used but in the best way possible. He would probably even get a hand in his hair, gripping so tight that Frank would feel the pain in his scalp. The pain that would go straight to his dick. The pain that was already going straight to his dick when Frank rested his forehead on the vanity, one hand in his hair, tugging on the knots from where he hadn’t brushed it properly this morning. 

But it didn’t feel enough. As much as this felt like the second best fuck he had ever had, it just wasn’t quite getting him off. Having picked up the pace, hoping that inevitably he would be coming in no time, he just couldn’t reach it. So close but so far. Frank wanted to come, come with the idea of Gerard fucking him from behind clear in his mind, but it was just wasn’t happening. There needed to be something more. Something so unlike anything he had done before. Something that could easily have been so Gerard, but Frank didn’t know what to do, coming to a stop for a second, dildo still in his ass, the frustration starting to take over him while he pushed sweaty hair out of his eyes.

Frank scanned his room to see if there was anything he could use to spice it up. He didn’t really know how he was going to do this or if anything was going to work. All he knew was that he needed something more. Something that was going to make this more like what he thought it would be like with Gerard. What it had been like before. Nothing seemed to be jumping out at him. Nothing was going to help him out right now. If only he did have Gerard then he wouldn’t have had a problem. he could have been how he had been before and hell, maybe he could have pinned him back like he done in the office.

And then it hit him. Suddenly Frank thought of something that would help him get off. The way Gerard had grabbed him in the office, that had really made Frank melt on the inside so unexpectedly. Holding him back, showing who was stronger out of the two of them, rendering Frank helpless while he had scolded him. Frank thought for a second, wondering what he could use to replicate that same feeling when Gerard had got hold of his wrists. Something to pin him down, something to heighten it all for Frank. He felt like nothing would work for him. He had nothing that would help get that feeling of being held down by the man he so desperately wanted to be with. Hopeless, Frank sighed, thinking that it wasn’t going to be as good as he wanted it to be just because he couldn’t copy what Gerard had done to him.

And then his eyes fell on his pants which he had left strewn on the floor. The glint of metal caught his eyes and finally it came together for him in his head. This was going to work, Frank kept telling himself repeatedly while he shifted, feeling empty while he climbed down to get the belt, pulling it free roughly from his pants. Something should have been completely wrong about this as Frank practised, wrapping the leather around his left wrist. Maybe it would have been weirder if he still had one of Ryan's belts, but in his head, this felt right. This felt like all he had to do to get himself to where he wanted to be. It was even the belt that Gerard had bought him when he got him the two suits. It seemed more fitting, doing this with something that Gerard had got him. Brought him closer to actually being with Gerard in an odd way.

Frank got back to where he had been, groaning when he sunk back down on the dildo. Pausing for a moment, Frank took one end of the belt, holding it between his teeth while he wrapped the leather around his wrists, sliding the rest of the belt through the buckle. He pulled it as tight as he could until it wouldn’t go anymore with his bound hands. Already restricted, he bit down on the leather, pulling it even tighter until the skin on his wrists started to pinch against it. Immobilised with the dildo buried in his ass, imagining that Gerard had been the one to tie him up. Properly tied him up to the point that Frank was completely helpless to anything that he could and probably would do to him.

Frank hoped that he would, even if it was just his vividly raunchy imagination that was taking control of right now. How he wanted it so badly, wanted Gerard so badly as he started to rock back and forth on the dildo, a muffled grunt of a moan passing past the belt that was still between his teeth, pulling it tight against his wrists.

This was doing something. Frank could feel his insides knotting up tighter and tighter as he tried to pick up a faster pace. His ass bumped against the side of the wardrobe every now and again, making him imagine that it was Gerard was pressing right up against. Skin against skin, his cock buried deep inside of him. The thought alone was making Frank moan louder, just like he had done the first time they had slept together. He couldn’t help it. The idea of Gerard fucking him again was enough to make Frank lose all his inhibitions. 

The idea of letting Gerard use his ass for pleasure while he got the biggest kick out of being tied up while they had sex, Frank just couldn’t stop himself. Even the belt between his teeth wasn’t silencing him. Stained out moans and curses fell from his lips, breath short and sharp, so close. So close he wished that he reach under himself, grab his dick and bring himself off. But no, he wanted to come like he had done with Gerard. Come untouched. It had been that good that Frank had lost it well before he even felt the need to get a hand on his dick. Plus he couldn’t get a hand on himself right now so he didn’t really have a choice in the matter. He kept his hands bound up tight, ignoring how the leather was rubbing against his wrists. It hurt, but it felt far too good to loosen up a little. So good that he knew he was getting closer and closer already.

“Fuck…” Frank panted out through gritted teeth, the word nearly lost against the leather resting on the tip of his tongue. He screwed his eyes shut while he tried to concentrate. So close, practically chasing his own orgasm now while he tried to adjust. He couldn’t do it properly though as the belt snagged against his wrists. The feeling of being completely constricted and powerless. The kick Frank needed to tip him over. The very idea of Gerard being like this with him in his head. If only it would happen in real life, though Frank was pretty sure if Gerard did tie him up, he would probably come instantaneously. Coming hard just from Gerard looking at him the way that he did. Those eyes on him. Hands on him. Even the way Gerard spoke to him sometimes. The confidence and power that dripped from his words. The way he told Frank who was in charge when they were first in bed together. Oh to hear that again. Oh to be put in his place once more. Frank would have it that way. Anyway. Just to have the man he fantasised about once more. 

Franks movements became hurried when the familiar sensation started to bubble up inside of him. All care went out of the window when he got to the point of no return. He didn’t care if anyone could hear him through the thin walls, his moans and curses probably hitting a somewhat embarrassing high pitch, but he really didn’t care as he tipped over, coming, the orgasm ripping through him like it had done the other night. Starting off small but taking over him, engulfing him from his head to his curled toes. He came hard, streaking the vanity in come as he panted out Gerard's name from behind his teeth. The sick twist of pleasure inside of him as he imagined what it would be like to call him sir in the midst of sex if they ever did do it again. Next time, not that he thought about next time. Right now he couldn’t even focus on anything, completely knocked dumb as he eventually came to a stop, not even moving for a second while the post orgasm tingle warmed him through. The lazy fucked out smile spreading on his lips when he finally released the belt from between his teeth, letting it fall and land on his still bound wrists.

Best orgasm ever. No, second best. It would be hard to beat what Gerard had done to him, but it was a very close second while Frank tried to catch his breath back, resting his head on the backs of his hands while he gingerly pulled away from the dildo.

Frank felt sore, but the good kind of sore that he half expected. The feeling of knowing that he had just had sex. Not just rolling off and lying on the other side of the bed, looking up at the ceiling while he processed that yes, he had just had sex. This was a different kind of process because fucking was alright but being fucked, that was a whole other level that Frank had finally reached. It was definitely better. Definitely something that he wanted to be used to. Something that he only wanted Gerard to do to him, leaving him with the same open and used feeling that had him smiling against the back of his hand, wiping away spit that had collected on his lip from holding onto the belt between his teeth so tightly.

But the thing about this, the whole getting what he wanted, the substitute that he was having to rely on, his post sex high only lasted for a short amount of time. It wasn’t like he could lie there, feeling like he was going to be on top of the world for an extended period of time because he had been with someone else. Someone who wanted to have sex with him. The realisation hit quicker than Frank had expected, leaving him feeling somewhat alone and somewhat dirty because of what he had just gone and done.

Because who in their right mind would get desperate enough to climb on top of furniture just to get a quick orgasm? Who would buy a sex toy just to feel something that they most likely weren’t going to have ever again? Clearly Frank would, and he had done. Both of those things, he had gone there and had gone beyond what was probably normal and that was what hit him not long after he had stopped. The high was gone. Reality was back and he opened his eyes, looking down at his still belt bound wrists, feeling the nudge of the dildo behind him when he adjusted.

“Shit.” Frank said to himself. The one word that rang out in the silence that took over his room. His shitty motel room which really, it was the epitome of how desperate he had got in life at such a young age. It wasn’t even like he was older and on the back end of a divorce. No, he was so young and so desperate to just get by. So desperate just to feel what it would be like to be with Gerard again. His boss. His employer. That came screaming back to Frank instantly, making him realise just how awkward it was going to be when he next saw Gerard. After being told to put all of this to bed in his childish head, he had done the exact opposite. He had ignored Gerard and done exactly what he wanted to do, not caring about the order he had been given.

It all sunk in far too quickly, making Frank realise that he was still kneeling on the vanity, still naked, feeling somewhat embarrassed now, tugging the belt free from his wrists before he let it drop to the floor. Sheer desperation had taken over. Sheer need had lead him to be on top of the furniture that he was now climbing down from, tugging the dildo from where he had stuck it, feeling the need to hide it because as much as he wanted Gerard and as much as he couldn’t shake off how he felt about the older man, it was awkwardly dirty now. He had reached out for the unattainable, only to know that this was probably all he was going to get now. A quick fuck on a twenty six dollar sex toy that he had stuffed back into the bag that it had come home in. Cheap fun which now only lead to him reaching down for his pants, pulling them on quickly, like someone might see him. Like Gerard might somehow know what he had gone and done.

No one could know. Frank felt so embarrassed about what he had gone and done, so desperate that he had felt that there was nothing else he could have done to help himself. What was embarrassing him the most was the fact that tomorrow he was going to have to come face to face with Gerard and look him in the eyes whilst trying to act like he had done absolutely nothing wrong. Frank honestly didn’t know if he could pull that off, especially with the effect that Gerard had on him already. 

Of course he had to do it though. He couldn’t just make it obvious that he had had no control whatsoever today. He knew that he had probably gone just a step too far, what with what he had done at work and what he was now reeling from, trying his best to ignore the fact that he had climbed on furniture to get off while thinking about his boss. It was like Frank had gone overboard, doing stuff that he had clearly never dreamed of doing before. When he had been with Ryan, never before had he felt the need to buy a sex toy. 

Never before had he been so desperate that he had to run off to the staff toilets and jerk off with said sex toy in his mouth. This was something that Frank honestly shocked himself over. All of a sudden he felt like he didn’t even know who he was anymore. Going from being one way to being something completely different. These extreme urges, he couldn’t control them and Frank was pretty sure that one day they were going to end up getting him in trouble.

Frank reached down to grab his work pants, folding them up, placing them over the back of the chair while he tried to carry on like nothing completely out of the ordinary had happened. Trying to move past it, Frank hoped that the embarrassment would die down by the morning and he would be able to make some sort of eye contact with Gerard. He just didn’t realise that what he had done had actually gone and left something of a surprise for him. The kind of surprise that probably wouldn’t look good if a certain someone with bright orange hair found them.

“Oh shit...” Frank cursed when he caught sight of his wrists. The usually pale skin was now red and starting to bruise. It was so noticeable that Frank had had something wrapped tightly around his wrists. So obvious that he had done something that was completely out of the ordinary for him. He panicked, staring at his wrists for a second, trying to work out what the hell he was going to do to cover up the fact that he had bound his wrists together. God knows what Gerard would think if he saw them. He would probably put two and two together and realise that Frank had in fact had some fun with himself. That could not happen, especially after the way he had spoken to him in the office.

Frank tried his best to come up with a way to hide what he had done, but nothing seemed to be coming up as a good idea in his head. Even though he knew that his work shirts would cover it, he knew that if he even moved his arms slightly, the marks would be revealed and someone would see them. Someone would question and wonder what had happened to him. What was he supposed to say? Frank had no idea and he really hoped that the marks would have gone down a bit by the morning. They had to or he was really going to worry about even going into work tomorrow.

The only thing Frank could think of going was ignoring what he had gone and done. Cleaning up what he had done because once that was all gone and out of sight, he could deny that it had ever happened. He could pretend that he hadn’t done anything. Casually brush it off in the best way possible, the only way possible which was him going into complete and utter denial about everything that lead up to this moment in time. Frank wiped down the vanity, removing all evidence that he had in fact come while calling out his bosses name. The bag that contained the dildo and other things he had bought, that got kicked under the bed, hidden from sight. Hidden from Frank which calmed him a little. He still knew what he had done, even if everything he had used was now out of sight. Out of mind. The belt though. Frank picked that up, mentally cursing himself before he looped it back onto his pants. Wishing that he had never got the idea in the first place. He wouldn’t have been standing here right now, reaching for his jeans to put them on, trying to ignore the fact that he had gone and bruised his own wrists for his own kicks.

Frank decided to move on completely from what he had done once he has got his jeans on, not bothering to find a shirt because he would be going to sleep soon. He knew that could couldn’t call in sick tomorrow or Gerard would have known that something was definitely up. It would have been obvious so Frank knew that he had to carry on like nothing had happened to him. Everything was okay and he was totally not panicking at all while he finally picked up his dinner from the floor, taking out the take out box of noodles that he had ordered, peeling it open before he started to eat.

This seemed normal. This felt like something that he would have done the moment that he got back from work. Not what he had actually done which was now being brushed under the carpet, along with the embarrassment that Frank was still feeling in him. He considered putting on the tv for a second, just zoning out and forgetting while he ate his now cold and stodgy dinner. The problem was thought that whenever he brought his plastic fork up to his mouth, eating his dinner, he caught sight of his wrists. The bruising, he kept seeing it when he chewed on his noodles, mentally facepalming, mentally and internally dying because even though he knew that denial could work for him, he couldn’t completely deny it all when there was evidence that something had happened to him. He had done something to himself and it was more than likely going to be so obvious tomorrow morning. Probably more than it was now. Just his luck. More proof that his life was becoming more and more desperate with everything that he attempted to do.

Frank muttered to himself, letting his fork drop into his half eaten dinner. He just couldn’t stomach food right now. The idea of eating on top of the awkward embarrassment that sat inside of him, it made his stomach churn. Standing up, Frank went over to the bin by his fridge, dropping the food into it, wishing that he had reeled himself in a bit now because if he had then what had happened probably wouldn’t have happened. What he was feeling now, he would never had had to feel it in the first place. His dinner, that would have been finished and then he could have gotten into bed, falling asleep peacefully, preparing himself for the next day.

Instead though, Frank stood by his bed. The idea of sleep seemed a little far fetched right now. How could he even consider sleeping when all he could think about was the different ways that Gerard could spot his wrists, question them before figuring out exactly what Frank had done to himself. His mind raced and Frank groned, going to flop down onto his bed, hating himself a little bit more now over what he had done. Over what he was going to have to deal with when he woke up and made his way into the office.

Frank however forgot in his moment of worrying that even though his bed looked like what it was supposed to be, he was living in what was quite possibly the shittiest and cheapest motel in existence. Even though his bed was a bed and was supposed to serve a purpose, when he flopped down onto the bed, groaning at how difficult he had gone and made it for himself, his bed refused to do what it was supposed to do. The springs in the mattress giving out under him. Frank flailed, going to grab at the duvet, but that didn’t help him as he rolled, pulling the duvet with him, making the bedding fall on top of him as he landed on the floor. 

Landing on his face, chest and stomach on the floor was like hitting rock bottom for Frank. This was probably the lowest he could go. After everything that had happened, there was no way he could get any lower than he was right now, half tangled up in his duvet, cheek against the carpet, his stomach and chest sore from possible carpet burns. More marks to add on top of his wrists and the sore feeling he still had from what he had done. This could not get any worse. Frank was sure of it. At least he had put his jeans on. That had to be something. Carpet burns on his stomach and chest that he was avoiding, at least he wasn’t going to have to put up with a carpet burn on his dick. That would have been the cherry on top of his awful, sad and depressing cake.

It couldn’t get worse, that’s what Frank kept telling himself as he refused to move, sore from falling on the floor as well now. Emotionally sore from everything he had done recently, leaving him curling up into a ball on the carpet, duvet still tangled around his legs while he kept telling himself that tomorrow was a new day and it hopefully wasn’t going to go as badly as he thought it would.

 


	28. Chapter 26: Her Husband is a Cold Miser in an Even Colder Suit

Frank tugged at his sleeves the next morning, doing his best to avoid his boss as much as possible after the events of the night before, both at work and at home. He knew how much he had upset Gerard and the last thing he wanted was to bring it all back between them. Frank sat in the filing room as he sorted out some of the files that Derek had given him, knowing Derek was watching every now and again, humming to himself as he listened to Korn in one ear from his phone.

 

“Morning, sweetie.” Lindsey greeted as she stuck her head into the filing room, making Frank jump and turn to see her, smiling back.

 

“Hey, you.” Frank replied simply with a small wave, “How are ya?”

 

“Never better.” She smiled before stepping into the filing room and closed the door behind her, “I heard about what happened last night.”

 

“Dunno what you mean.” Frank shrugged, sorting pages out correctly, frowning at the careless mistakes his coworker had made, wondering if Derek had started messing up on purpose to catch him in a mistake and mess him up..

 

“Gerard told me about your argument last night. He came home rather perturbed.” Lindsey announced and Frank grimaced at the thought, “Slamming doors and cursing like a sailor.”

 

“O- Oh yeah?” Frank asked, trying to act nonchalant as he paused his music, giving Lindsey his full concentration.

 

“He seemed rather upset about it.” Lindsey sighed before she walked over and went down on her knees beside Frank, sighing, “He really can be a grumpy old man sometimes but it’s just who he is.”

 

“Tell me about it…” Frank muttered, “First he lures me in, then pushes me away, then he fucks me and acts like it never happened, now I try and do exactly what I did last time and he completely rejected me.”

 

“Give him time.” Lindsey wrapped an arm around Frank and gave him a small hug as Frank leaned in, smelling her perfume- roses and floral scents that he completely predicted about her. He lay his head in the crook of her neck for a moment before pulling away, “I have a meeting in a few minutes but why don’t you stop by my office later and we can chat, okay?”

 

“Yeah?” Frank looked up at her as she got up, dressed in the tightest leather skirt and an almost sheer blouse in a soft off-white.

 

“Of course.” She smiled, her crimson lips pulled up as she beamed down at him, “We can have lunch and discuss your turmoil of a lovelife.”

 

“I’d love that.” Frank sighed out, offering up a small but grateful smile as she opened the door and adjusted her skirt before she walked out again, redoing her hair in her usual large clip.

 

Frank smiled warmly as he sat up a bit straighter, his day not as bad as it had been. He adjusted his tie and carried on with the files, realising just how strewn out they had been when he hadn’t been focusing. He gathered them up properly and began sorting them out, humming yet again.

 

“You almost done?” Derek sighed impatiently, rolling into view in their office doorway, looking at Frank across the hall who looked up.

 

“No, sorry. Lindsey was here and we were having a chat and she distracted me. I’m almost done.” Frank grimaced apologetically and Derek merely rolled his eyes and pushed himself back to his desk, “Dick….” 

 

Frank sighed as he got up from the floor, sorting the files out properly for the last time before he pocketed his earphones in his blazer pocket. 

 

~

 

It was lunch time now, Frank was already heading back to the office after he had gone out to buy lunch, stopping at a deli to grab himself and Lindsey each a sandwich and a juice. He knew she loved turkey on rye and he snagged the last one with an apple and berry juice for her before grabbing himself a simple salad sandwich and an orange juice.

 

It was on the way to his car when he stopped, looking over to see the roses in a plastic bucket for sale by a street vendor. He grabbed a bunch of red ones, laughing as he hoped she’d remember the last time he’d given her flowers. An inside joke between then when he didn’t want to admit that he had grown fond of Lindsey, feeling like she was almost like a sister to him, or a mother of sorts in a not-so-weird way.

 

He walked into the building and into his office, shedding his jacket after he set the items down, folding the material over the back of his chair.

 

“And that?” Derek asked with a raised eyebrow, looking at the flowers and Frank merely laughed them off as he tucked in the back of his shirt neatly.

 

“Just got them for Lindsey.” He shrugged, waving a hand, “Thought she’d like them.”

 

“You bought her… Roses?” Derek raised an eyebrow, “Your boss’ wife.”

 

“Yeah…? So?” Frank frowned, “Just being nice…”

 

“There’s nice and then there’s red roses.” Derek shrugged as he took a helping of his ramen noodles from their cup, chewing softly, “Jus’ weird…”

 

“Do you want them then?” Frank asked with a wave to the bunch of flowers, “Considering your keen interest in who I buy flowers for.”

 

“You keep your crummy flowers,” Derek nodded, “Alls I’m saying is, is that red flowers are rather suggestive for a woman and I know you’re not straight so she might get the wrong idea, man.”

 

“They’re just flowers. I’m just being nice considering her husband is a cold miser in an even colder suit.” Frank muttered as he snatched the flowers and the packet of food and walked out towards Lindsey’s office door.

 

Frank ran a hand through his hair before knocking lightly, waiting for her to let him in. He heard her call out and he opened the door, peering in with a small smile, “Hey? You busy?”

 

“Not for you.” She smiled back, “Come in, sweetie.”

 

Frank sighed in relief and walked into her office, closing the door before he held out the flowers with a small smile, “Your old ones were dead and they looked so nice in here so I got you new ones.”

 

“You didn’t have to do that.” She gasped, standing up as she walked around the desk and carefully took them from Frank’s hand, holding them as though they were gold, “Oh, frank. They’re beautiful.”

 

“Eh, they’re alright.” Frank chuckled, “Bought us lunch too while I was out.”

 

“You’re too much.” She smiled brightly as she set the roses down on the desk and sat down on her large chair. Frank set the packet on the desk and slid into the chair across from her, unpacking their food before he slid hers towards her.

 

“I didn’t know what juice you wanted so I went with apple berry.” Frank stated as he crumpled up the packet and stuffed it in his pocket, “You can always have my orange juice if-”

 

“Apple berry is perfect.” She interrupted him, “How much do I owe you?”

 

“Nothing.” He waved her off and she looked startled, “I insist. As a payment.”

 

“For?”

 

“Letting me bitch about your husband.” Frank chuckled as he sat back in his chair, opening the bottle of orange juice and having a large sip as Lindsey laughed and did the same.

 

“He never tells me anything, really,” She began as she opened her sandwich up from it's plastic container, “I was quite surprised when he barged into my room last night ranting and raving about you. I was almost asleep watching Extreme Makeover.”

 

“Regular or Home Edition?” Frank asked as he set his juice down on the floor beside his chair and began rolling up his sleeves.

 

“Home Edition,” Lindsey scoffed, “What else? He’s lucky he didn’t walk in on me doing anything else?”

 

“You’re kidding.” Frank grinned sheepishly and Lindsey giggled lightly, waving a hand.

 

“The man has no sense of privacy. Hell I could have been in a one woman self love party and he wouldn’t have cared.”

 

“I wouldn’t want to be the third wheel to that self love ordeal.” Frank snickered, “He wouldn’t barge in on you and your alone time, would he?”

 

“He has plenty of times.” Lindsey scowled as she bit into one half of her sandwich, chewing on it momentarily, “Doesn’t give a damn though, just keeps on talking.”

 

“Does he even notice you’re busy?” Frank scoffed and Lindsey raised an eyebrow as she swallowed.

 

“Honestly I’m not even sure. But last night I luckily wasn’t and he just barged in and started raving about you, hands going and huffing about. It took me about three tries to calm him down after he punched my mattress and swore in French.”

 

“What the hell?” Frank frowned, his voice soft as he began rolling up his other sleeve.

 

“Oh I know, telling me how insubordinate you are and how you push him too far and how your mind games are going to give him a stroke.” Lindsey rolled her eyes, taking another bite.

 

“My- My mind games? Is he serious? He’s the bastard who’s been throwing me around back and forth because he doesn’t know what he wants.”

 

“Oh, he knows what he wants.” Lindsey eyed Frank, the look itself being an answer enough.

 

“Then I don’t know what his problem is.” Frank huffed as he reached down and grabbed his orange juice, unscrewing the cap to take a sip.

“Gerard Way is a complex creature. He’s a gentleman and a gentleman is merely a patient wolf, Frank.” Lindsey stated wisely before taking another bite and chewing on it with more elegance and sensuality than Frank had in his entire body.

 

“Yeah well it’s annoying as hell.” Frank sighed before he let out a whine, stomping his feet like a child, “Lindsey-y-y… I want him…”

 

Lindsey couldn’t help the snort in reply to Frank’s childish tantrum, laughing at him behind her hand as he slid down in the chair and folded his arms over his chest, “Oh wow.”

 

“You don’t understand…” Frank leaned in, “It’s bad.”

 

“I can tell.” She eyed him, “And you’ve tried to make a move on him?”

 

“Of course. What do you think last night was?” Frank huffed.

 

“Alright well why don’t I try and help you?’ She asked as she swallowed the last bite of one half of her turkey on rye, “A few pointers and tips into the inner workings of my dear husband.”

 

“I’ll be in your debt forever, I swear to God.” Frank sputtered as he pulled his chair closer to the desk, suddenly all ears as he set his juice down, watching her close up the rest of her food.

 

“First off, don’t ever try and boss him around, he doesn’t like it. No one bosses around Gerard Way.” Lindsey began and Frank already knew that one rather well from personal experience.

 

“Except you.” Frank countered.

 

“Exactly.” She smiled, “Only because he listens to me. Because I’m right.”

 

“Because you’re a woman.” Frank replied knowingly, nodding as he pursed his lips in agreement, “I know that as a fact. I’m not stupid.”

 

“Good.” She took a sip of her juice, “Secondly, he gets very territorial and very jealous very quickly. No one takes or touches what’s his or he loses his cool. A patient wolf, he may be… But a jealous wolf he is in threefold.”

 

“What else?”

 

“Always do what he tells you.” Lindsey nodded, “Even if you need help, you ask for it instead of trying to do it yourself and fucking it up so he has to clean the mess. But do it either way or he gets in a foul mood and your consequences are a lot worse than if you made your first mistake only once.”

 

“Right yeah, I noticed that.” Frank frowned, remembering when he had first started working for Gerard.

 

“He may look and act cold and uncaring but he’s a big softie.” Lindsey smiled and Frank automatically scoffed at her words, rolling his eyes, “You’ll be surprised, sweetie. He’s a sucker for foreign literature and romantic poetry. He doesn’t cry at romance movies or anything but he’s a romantic at heart and always has been.”

 

“That is surprising…” Frank frowned when he realised that she was being serious, “Really?”

 

“Totally.” She smiled, “Every year for his birthday I buy him a collected works of gothic or edwardian poetry. He sits outside and reads it for ages on end, cover to cover more than once.”

 

“I really didn’t expect that.” Frank admitted, “Anything else?”

 

“He’s not competitive.” Lindsey stated, “Don’t try and outdo him in anything, doesn’t matter what. He won’t try and beat you, you’ll only infuriate him and he’ll walk away. He doesn’t care for trivial competing or ‘who’s best at what’ because he either knows he’s already better than you or the topic doesn’t interest him enough to bother with it.”

 

“How so?”

 

“For example, he won’t try and get his work done before you just to win and the prospect of winning doesn’t interest him when he’d rather take his time and do it properly. Or even sexually. Same thing. He won’t try and race you to the finish, but he’ll take his time in certain things and do it the way he wants. It’s a marathon, not a sprint, as he’d say.” Lindsey somewhat rolled her eyes, “Nothing like that fazes him.”

 

“So he’s just always slow?” Frank asked, sounding somewhat disapproving at the idea of always taking his time.

 

“I never said that.” She countered, “I never said that he will always take his time, I said that he doesn’t like to compete. So if that’s what you’re trying to do, it won’t work on him. He can get things done in no time, believe you me. But that’s because he’s an efficient man on his own and no one is chasing him. The last guy who was here that worked here kept trying to motivate him by working faster and faster. Gerard grabbed him by the ear and threw him out, fired him right there. Brendon’s ears were big enough as it is without Gerard always grabbing him by the poor things.”

 

“Wow.” Frank raised both eyebrows in surprise, “Really doesn’t like showboating then?”

 

“Not a huge fan of braggadocio, no.” Lindsey shook her head, “Another thing I should mention…”

 

“Yeah?” Frank frowned as she took one more sip of her juice.

 

“Gerard’s very… Um, how do I put this lightly.” She frowned, leaning back in her chair with her hands clasped, “He’s very forceful.”

 

“Tell me about it.” Frank scoffed.

 

“No, I mean,” She sighed, “I don’t know if he told you or not so I don’t want to just blurt out what isn’t my personal affairs.”

 

“In what way?”

 

“Gerard’s… Well he’s. He’s a Dominant male.” Lindsey explained and Frank shrugged, nodding to himself.

 

“Well yeah, I figured that much. I can tell.”

 

“But do you understand what I’m telling you, Frank?” She sat up again, her face stark of any and all joking, “In the sexual way.”

 

“He’s sexually Dominant?” Frank asked, “Well yeah I figured, he’s a top.”

 

“No I- I mean…” She sighed, “Hell, if any of these tips work then you’ll figure it out sooner or later.”

 

“Yeah, ‘if’ being the selective word in that sentence.” Frank scoffed again, “You should have seen the way he looked at me…”

 

“He was probably in work mode and frustrated. Yesterday was a hard day for him as it were. It was for all of us.” Lindsey’s face looked bleak slightly and she looked down.

 

“Why?”

 

“Didn’t he tell you?” She looked up in surprise and Frank’s gaze mirrored it, hinted with confusion, “Yesterday one of our grant sponsors had to pull out of the campaign. One of our more wealthy sponsors. We’ll be losing over fifty grand a month now.”

 

“Oh my god.” Frank’s eyes widened, “Why?”

 

“Economy isn’t steady at the moment and stocks are falling low, a lot of people are pulling out of investments early.” Lindsey shrugged, “He was on the phone almost all day trying to sort it out but it was for nought.”

 

“I had no idea.” Frank muttered, suddenly feeling guilty, “God, no wonder he snapped at me.”

 

“I don’t think he meant to. I think he was just stressed and you got too close too quickly and he snapped out of instinct. He’s not used to having someone so close to him like you are. His last proper partner or lover or anything of the sort was about… Oh a year or so ago. Poor boy.”

 

“Why did they break up?” Frank frowned, intrigued.

 

“He left the country.” Lindsey pursed her lips, “Adam. Lovely boy. He was from Brazil and he was here on a working visa, it expired and he was sent home. They drifted apart.”

 

“That’s so sad…” Frank muttered, frowning down at his hands, “I take it he’s had quite a few partners.”

 

“Uh, he’s had three long-term and a few flings along the way.”

 

“Adam included in those three?” Frank asked hopefully and Lindsey nodded, “I feel like such a square with only having dated Ryan.”

 

“It’s cute about you. You have an innocent charm to you that I think he was drawn to. Not so much virginal obviously, that would annoy him. But… Innocence.”

 

“Oh?” Frank felt his cheeks tint pink and he looked down, frowning when he caught sight of his wrists, “I didn’t think I was very innocent.”

 

“You poor angel, you have no idea.” She chuckled and he looked up.

 

“Is that what he likes about me?”

 

“Well I think one of the things, I think he also likes how different you are in general, and your passion. You remind him of a younger, reckless version of himself.” She chuckled, “But in the good way, not the stick-up-your-ass way.”

 

“Oh good.” Frank chuckled, wringing his wrists when he sighed, noting the time, “Lunch time is already done. I didn’t realise how long I had been out.”

 

“Well you better go before the stick in his ass decides to move and he gets crabby.” She waved Frank off with a bright smile, “And thank you for my lunch, sweetie.”

 

“Thanks for the advice.” Frank got up, stretching slightly before he went lax, sighing as he ran a hand through his hair, “You get those roses in some water.”

 

“I will.” She smiled, putting a hand on them as Frank took his sandwich and his juice and walked to the door, realising he hadn’t eaten any of his food. He opened the door, throwing Lindsey one last smile before he walked out. 

 

He walked back into his office, taking a large gulp of his juice before capping it and setting it down, adjusting his tie in the reflection of his computer monitor.

 

“She like the flowers?” Derek asked idly and Frank chuckled, nodding.

 

“Always well received.” Frank replied, turning to look at Derek.

 

“You or the flowers?”

 

“Was I well received?” Frank frowned, “What?”

 

“Nothing. Gerard’s looking for you.” Derek shrugged and Frank felt himself go cold inside as his eyes automatically widened.

 

“Did- Did he say why? Did he sound mad?” Frank asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

 

“Mad? No- Why?” Derek frowned, “Why would he be mad at you? You’re the golden boy, you do no wrong in here.”

 

“Oh, I do wrong…” Frank sighed, “Maybe not to Lindsey but to him I definitely do.”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean? What did you do?” Derek turned completely away from his computer and Frank shook his head.

 

“Nothing.” He sighed, looking himself once over before he turned and walked to the door, knocking, waiting for Gerard’s approval for him to enter.

 

“In.” Gerard stated simply and Frank sucked in a breath, whispering a soft Hail Mary before he opened the door.

 

“Oh.” Frank whispered softly when he looked at his boss, noting the pair of black-rimmed glasses perched on his nose, something he’d never seen before.

 

“I was out this morning to fetch them.” Gerard obviously noticed Frank’s surprise at his new eyewear, “Apparently I need them when I work.”

 

“They look good on you, sir.” Frank replied simply as he clasped his hands behind his back obediently, “You were looking for me.”

 

“I can’t find where you put the Michaelis folder.” Gerard pursed his lips.

 

“Oh.” Frank smiled as he walked over to Gerard’s desk and dug in the box of files that stood in the corner, searching for the file he had put there that morning before Gerard got in, “Put it in here.”

 

“Did anyone else take it?” Gerard asked as he leaned in and Frank shook his head.

 

“No one came in here while you were out.” He sighed before letting out a small ‘ah’, pulling out the folder before he slid it over to Gerard with a smile, “That’s for you, sir.”

 

“Frank?”

 

“Sir?”

 

“If you don’t mind my asking,” Gerard pushed his glasses up on his nose, “What happened to your wrists?”

 

“Oh-” Frank cursed softly under his breath, completely forgetting about the bruises on his wrists when he clasped a hand around one of them and then behind his back, blushing profusely, “No- Nothing.”

 

“Are you okay?” Gerard asked and then looked up at Frank, scrutinising him as Frank began walking backwards towards the door, “Frank?”

 

“I have- um- I have work to do.”

 

“Stop.” Gerard ordered and Frank froze in place, whimpering under his breath as his knees began to shake, watching as Gerard got up from behind his desk and sauntered over with his usual cocky swagger to his walk. Frank sucked in a breath as Gerard reached behind him and took one of Frank’s arms in his hand, pulling it forward as he inspected it.

 

Frank stared up at Gerard as the latter reached out, closing the office door behind Frank, his face souring, eyes narrowed as he ran a thumb over Frank’s purple wrist, “Who did this?”

 

“Wh- No- I…” Frank began, sounding appalled as Gerard took the other wrist in his hand, looking them over, “No one.”

 

“These are leather bites.” Gerard looked up, his jaw clenched, tone hard and clipped, “Frank?”

 

“Oh- Oh god. I- I can explain…” Frank winced, waiting for Gerard to yell about how inappropriate it was to have such things on display in the workplace, waiting for him to go off about how Frank should know better.

 

“I wish you would.” Gerard quipped, his grip tightening for a second when Frank noticed the souring, recognising it.

 

Gerard was jealous.

 

Of what he assumed to be Frank’s lover’s marks on his body.

 

“What’s it of your business who did this to me, sir?” Frank asked innocently, tilting his head to the side as Gerard’s brows furrowed, his eyes trained on Frank’s bruised skin.

 

“It’s…” Gerard looked up at Frank, “None of my business.”

 

“Then why do you care who did this to me or how or why?” Frank asked, his voice dripping an innocence unlike any other, watching Gerard’s temple throb slightly as his tongue seemed to toy around in his mouth, fighting for the right words.

 

“Because I don’t want anyone hurting you. Anyone else.” Gerard scowled.

 

“What if I wanted it then?” Frank shot back, “What if I wanted them to hurt me? That’s still none of your business.”

 

“No…” Gerard trailed off, the edge to his voice could cut steel, “I said. I don’t want anyone else hurting you, Frank.”

 

“Do you want to hurt me?” Frank asked coyly as Gerard reached up, pinning Frank against the wall, making him yelp softly in surprise and in pain, Gerard’s eyes scanning his intensely, intrinsically.

 

“More than you know… Boy.” Gerard whispered, “No one else touches you. Never again. Do you understand me?”

 

“But sir…” Frank whispered, another lightbulb going off in his head as he recounted Lindsey’s jealousy advice, deciding then to take it up just one more notch, “I can’t help it if my wrists are tied, how am I to stop what happens then?”

 

“I- You…” Gerard’s face took on a slight red tint to it that Frank could almost attest and akin to anger, “Stop what happens? What happens?”

 

Frank looked down, trying to hide the grin that wanted so badly to spread on his lips as he wriggled his hands free from Gerard’s grip and unfasted his tie slowly, watching Gerard’s hard gaze on his hands.

 

He unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt, trying not to go too fast, keeping Gerard practically on edge before he showed off his skin, showing Gerard the bruised and scraped flesh on his chest that he didn’t announce the origins of, waiting to see what Gerard would do.

 

What he did do was not what Frank had expected, he hadn’t expected the warmth of Gerard’s mouth on his, he hadn’t expected the sudden invasion of a tongue in his mouth but he welcomed it, revelled in it. He let out a moan as Gerard pinned him to the wall, muffling his whimpers as he kissed him heatedly. 

 

One of Gerard’s hands trailed up Frank’s stomach and his chest, fingertips grazing over the tainted flesh and over Frank’s throat before the very same hand was in Frank’s hair in a tight grip. Frank cried out softly, Gerard’s free hand clamping down on the younger’s mouth.

 

“You keep yourself quiet.” Gerard hissed softly, “And I never said you could let anyone else touch you. And no one else will.”

 

Frank let out a whimper behind Gerard’s hand, his tongue extending as he lapped softly at Gerard’s fingers, groaning as those same fingers slid into his mouth. Gerard let out the smallest of shudders as Frank sucked on his fingers, tongue lapping slowly at each of the two digits as his heart raced, feeling Gerard’s other three free fingers clamp onto his jaw.

 

“Don’t think you can get out of this so easily, boy.” Gerard dug his fingertips into Frank’s jaw and pulled him closer, their faces an inch apart, “I told you about consequences, and now you’ll learn, boy.” 


	29. Chapter 27: A Dog Should Never Forget Who His Master Is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I read this and don't know how I wrote it. No chill hit i think and I just went for it because I was sat there thinking "Hey I no longer have a block on this stuff just fuhking go wild" lol
> 
> Any errors, apologies, but we think we got them all :)

Chapter 27

 

Frank had been completely taken by surprise. It may have been the best surprise, seeing as he wasn’t expecting Gerard to react the way he had done, because watching him look like someone had rearranged his world right in front of his eyes, messing with everything that he had in order, that was basically what it looked like for Frank. How Gerard looked so frustrated, angry, jealous, clearly bothered to the point that he had acted out. Frank didn’t know that Gerard was going to act out just because of what he had said, but if he had known that Gerard was going to act like that just because of what he had said, then he would have said it much sooner.

 

Frank knew that he had gotten to him. Saying what he had done when Gerard had spotted his wrists. Frank had found a weakness in his usually strong boss, thanks to Lindsey. That weakness clearly had raged inside of Gerard almost instantly. Like pouring gas onto something flammable before lighting a match, he had lost control and it was like an inferno raged inside of him, consuming him. The jealousy leaking out into his expression. So easy to read, even for Frank. That look that Gerard had in his eyes which made Frank shudder, a shiver running from the top of his head to the tips of his toes, that really was a look that made him feel like putty.

 

Frank had finally got to him. It was like he had found a switch in Gerard, turning him from this cold and distant person who wanted nothing to do with what they had had before to the man who had grabbed hold of the back of Franks hair, tugging him close. Ignoring the yelp that had left Frank because it got muffled the moment that he crushed his lips against Frank's. A kiss that signified that there had to be something there. Gerard clearly wasn’t done with him, probably only just beginning. Finally coming round to the idea as he pushed Frank backwards, his back coming in contact with a wall. Frank had gasped, the pain resonating from his back. It felt good though, being controlled by him like that. Being held still, his hand still holding onto his hair roughly, holding him in place while he grazed teeth on Frank's bottom lip, tugging on his lip ring, making a whine escape him uncontrollably.

 

Frank couldn’t help it. Gerard had such an effect on him that he let him take charge, squeezing him between the wall and his body. He tried to kiss back, trying to mimic the force behind the kiss, but Frank was weakened, totally under Gerard's control while they continued to kiss. This was so much more intense than Frank thought they would get. How they had got before. This wasn’t just the two of them making out like they were teenagers who were desperate for their first time. There was something a little more intense behind the kiss. The experienced leading the inexperienced. The elder making the younger want nothing more than what was taking over him. Frank tried to breath through his nose when Gerard kissed harder, only pulling away for a second when his glasses were getting in the way, taking them off before tossing them onto his desk. There was so much tension and energy behind the kiss. He swore that if Gerard didn’t have him pinned against the wall then he would have fallen minutes ago. Succumbing to him, feeling weak to finally have him again. Gerard was with him again and Frank was not going to let this moment pass by as nothing. How could it be nothing when Gerard was pushing his tongue past his lips, wedging his knee between Franks legs, the pressure right where Frank was desperate to feel it, this had to be something. There had to be more to this than what was going on right now.

 

Frank let out a whimper when Gerard broke free from him. His hand was still in his hair though, tugging, pulling Frank from the wall, practically dragging him over to his desk. Frank let out a muffled sound of relief when Gerard removed his hand from his hair. The sting from where he had been holding him so tightly still rang out across his scalp, but it felt good. A weird kind of good that went straight to where Frank knew it would go. How work pants beginning to get uncomfortably tight as Gerard sat himself down in his chair, legs spread apart while he watched Frank from where he was stood. His hand wandered, going for the crotch of the dark suit pants he was wearing, massaging himself, letting out a low groan which hit Franks ears and hit hit harder than he thought it would. Gerard sounding like that again. Gerard being like this with him again, but it was so much more now. The dominant side that Lindsey had mentioned, clearly that had reared its head up and Frank knew that he had probably brought it on more by the fact that he had made him jealous.

 

Frank wanted to watch Gerard so much, his eyes refusing to move, focussed on the way his hand was moving across his crotch. The line of his erection becoming more noticable. Frank wanted that. Wanted him. Wanted to just reach out and touch what Gerard already had a hand on, but something stopped him. Frank found himself averting his eyes, almost feeling like he didn’t have right to look at what he was so desperate for. Something in him paused, taking a moment to wait because this was Gerard and this was worlds different from what he was used to. More perverted in the best way possible, he just didn’t know fully yet. Absolutely no idea while he looked away, fighting every fibre in his body when he heard the sound of a belt being undone. The quiet sound which seemed so loud to Frank because he wanted Gerard again so badly. And in his office too. Anyone could have walked in at any given moment. It made it so much more and far more exciting for Frank because he had only dreamt of something like this happening before. His fantasy finally coming to life right before his averted eyes.

 

“How you have infuriated me,” Gerard spat out, the jealous venom still spilling out on his words. Frank tried to remain calm, ignoring the fact that his heart was thumping a mile a minute in his chest when he caught a glimpse of Gerard undoing his pants more, pushing them down. This was apparently actually happening. No matter how pissed of Gerard was with him, it had fuelled all of this. It had obvious struck something inside of the older man and now he had made it clear about how he felt. The idea of someone else being with Frank, that was not going to happen and Frank was also two hundred percent sure that he didn’t want to be with anyone else either. Thank god he did what he done last night. Without those marks, he probably wouldn’t have been here right now, trying not to stare, even though all he wanted to do was just that when Gerard freed himself from his underwear, stroking himself, “Such an unscrupulous reprobate with loose morals.”   
  
Frank had no idea what Gerard had said to him. He got some of it, but the rest was lost in translation. Big words that Frank had no idea what they meant, but they were having such an effect on him, making his insides feel like they were twisting up. The tone making Frank turn to putty.   
  
“On your knees,” Gerard ordered. Frank did as he was told, dropping down to his knees before he looked at Gerard, seeing the way that he was looking at him. The jealousy still clouding his eyes. The look making Frank want to do nothing but obey Gerard. Listen to and follow his every word, “You’re nothing but an unwrought little playboy. You have your dirty little nose stuck into matters that you have no idea about.”   
  
Frank practically whimpered at the insult. Still not fully knowing what Gerard was calling him, it was having such an effect on him. The words combined with the way he was being looked down at. The way Gerard was talking to him while he still had a hand on his cock. All Frank wanted to do was reach out and touch him. So close to him, the one thing he wanted, the only person that he wanted. Frank just felt like he couldn’t, he should wait until he was told to. Wait until Gerard gave him permission. Only then could he reach out and touch the man that he desired so much.   
  
“Such a puerile, depraved and lascivious runt,” Gerard growled out, watching the way that Frank had become mesmerised by what he was doing, running his thumb over the head of his cock, practically torturing him, letting him watch over what he clearly wanted so badly. Frank went to reach out, unable to stop himself when he had his deity right in front of him, his hand so close to touching what he so badly wanted, but he was stopped. Frank pulled his hand back, feeling the pain resonating from where Gerard had just slapped across the side of his head, looking down at him like he had just done the worst thing imaginable, “You think you deserve this? Do you think that I’m going to let you touch me after the way you have behaved?”   
  
Frank wanted to nod, only because Gerard had no idea that the marks on his wrists and chest hadn’t been caused by another person. They had been his own doing, but Frank knew that he couldn’t just admit that he had brought them on all by himself. Gerard probably would have lost his edge or even worse, got more mad at him. It still didn’t stop Frank from nodding though, only because he was dying on the inside to be with Gerard again.   
  
“Perfidious little boy,” Gerard scoffed, his free hand going to grab at Frank's hair, pulling him closer. Frank held back a yelp behind his lips, biting down on his bottom lip to stifle himself. Gerard kept hold of his hair tightly, the sting spreading across his scalp while he was dragged forward, getting so close to what he wanted, being pulled between spread legs before he noticed Gerard adjust in his chair, draping his legs on either side of Frank's thighs, holding him in place, “A dog should never forget who his master is.”   
  
Frank couldn’t stand how close he was to Gerard while not being able to do a single thing about it. Being where he was between Gerard's legs, being so close to his cock. He wondered if Gerard would stop him if he tried to lean forward and do anything to him. He still had a hand in his hair, still holding onto him so tightly that it made Frank feel powerless but in the best way possible. The way that was going straight to his dick, making him shift uncomfortably because all he wanted was to be a little more free than he was right now, but Gerard was pulling him closer. The hand in his hair controlled him while his free hand held his cock still, pulling Franks face right against it, rubbing his length against Frank's mouth messily.   
  
How could Frank resist now when he had had it pushed right in his face. Every fibre in his body was willing for Gerard to just use his mouth and let him do whatever he wanted to him, but Frank couldn’t stop himself when it was right there, his tongue darting out, lapping at the underside of his cock. Even Frank heard the way Gerard’s breath caught at his actions, his eyes trained on Frank, watching him lick a wet line all the way from the base to the tip, his tongue circling the head before rolling over the slit, making Gerard groan.

 

The pair locked eyes for a moment. Gerard kept a firm grip on his cock, smearing it across Frank's mouth, spit slicking across his lips, tongue darting to try and get a taste of what he finally had. Frank was bursting at the seams to have Gerard in his mouth, finally properly blow him. Their next time, it had to be this and there was nothing that was going to stop Frank. Gerard could not stop him halfway through, suggesting something else because this was all Frank wanted right now. He was hard over the idea of having Gerard in his mouth, fucking his mouth if he wanted to. Frank couldn’t focus on anything else other than that right now as Gerard finally stilled, resting the head of his cock against his bottom lip.

 

“Suck,” He instructed, hand still in Frank's hair, guiding him onto his cock. Frank keened around him, taking as much as he could into his mouth. Gerard cursed softly under his breath, not letting go of Frank's hair while he tried to control him, pulling him up and down on his cock, “You contemptible, vulgar and amative pup.”

 

Frank groaned at the eloquent slander, his tongue flat against the underside of Gerard's cock, feeding off the possible abuse he was having thrown at him. he had no idea what Gerard was saying to him. Clearly it wasn’t positive or he wouldn’t have been the way that he was, forcing Frank down on his cock as far as he could, barely giving him time to breathe when his gag reflex kicked in. Frank had to admit though, he was loving it. Being used like this in such a public place. He had dreamed of having Gerard in their place of work, but it actually happening, with the way he was being commanded, it made him want to reach down between his own legs, get just a feel while he hollowed out his cheeks, trying to take as much of Gerard into the back of his mouth as possible.

 

“Fuck…” Gerard groaned out, tilting his head back against his chair while Frank bobbed down at his behest. Doing his best to swirl his tongue over every inch of Gerard as he could, eventually it all became too much. Fighting against the strong grip that had hold of him, Frank pulled off, gasping for air, his mouth swollen and wet, saliva smeared across his chin, eyes watering before he licked at the strings of spit that connected himself to Gerard, “That mouth of yours is unbelievable.”

 

Frank took that praise, not hesitating to get his mouth back on Gerard, continuing to astound him with his actions. It had been so long since Frank had even given anyone oral sex, but Gerard was stuttering out near silent moans when Frank rolled his tongue over the slit, tasting pre come while he stared up, watching the way Gerard was reacting to his every move. Frank couldn’t stop himself then. Looking up at the wonder that was the man he had completely fallen for, he reached down between his legs, getting a grip on his own cock, so sensitive and aching behind the pants he was still wearing. He was so close just from blowing his boss. Getting so turned on just by having his cock in his mouth, making his jaw ache, making his whole body thrum at the idea of pleasing Gerard this way after he had been so jealous of what might have happened to him the night before.

 

This was better than fucking a sex toy. This was beyond even trying to comprehend how good this was. Actually having Gerard, himself wanting Frank to do this to him, let him suck him in his office which was so dangerous. Frank knew that someone could have walked in at any moment. Derek might even have heard what was going on behind the shut door, but the idea of being caught at any moment made Frank squeeze himself through his pants, moaning as he wrapped his lips back around Gerard, getting close himself while he bobbed back down, letting Gerard take control again.

 

“Such an ignominious and detestable excuse- ah,” Gerard panted, his hips snapping up to meet Frank, getting a firmer grip on the short strands of his hair, continuing to roll his hips up, using Frank’s mouth which only made him rub himself more through his work pants, “Excuse of a boy.”

 

Frank felt Gerard still him then, holding him in place while he continued to push up into his mouth. Frank wanted to breathe, unable to while Gerard continued to thrust into his mouth. The idea of choking on his dick had Frank practically coming in his work pants, the lack of oxygen making his vision fuzzy, that along with his eyes watering. Frank screwed his eyes shut, lungs getting to the point of burning, his head spinning before it came over him. Still with his hand down between his legs, rubbing himself off, he came, body convulsing at the force of the orgasm, his legs shaking, the muffled moans that he could get out were vibrating against Gerard. He felt like he had been pulled apart and put back together instantaneously while his brain whited out and Gerard realised what he had gone and done.

 

“Did I give you permission to do that?” Gerard shot his question out, slowing down so he could look down at Frank, judging him for his actions, seeing how his eyes looked so far shot when he looked back up at him, “Indecent animal.”

 

Frank couldn’t help it, still eating up the insults after what he had done, his whole body feeling like jelly while he continued to suck Gerard. His actions became sloppy, his body drained from the intensity of his own orgasm, but that didn’t stop Gerard. His hand gripped onto Frank's hair tighter, bottom lip pinched between his teeth before he muttered out that he wasn’t done with him. Frank wasn’t getting out of this easily, seeing as Gerard started up what he had slowed down, fucking Frank's mouth, using him for his own pleasure now that he had got his own without any consent.

 

It wasn’t long before Frank could tell that Gerard was close. The grip he had in Frank's hair was unbelievable tight, holding him still. His thrusts became sharper, his breathing faltering before he halted. His whole body tensed up before he cursed, coming into Frank's mouth.

 

Frank coughed around the bitter taste of come spurting into his mouth. His instinct was to immediately pull off, but he couldn’t as Gerard still held him in place, the pulse of his orgasm strong against Frank's tongue, come leaking out of his mouth when he failed to hold it all in, swallow it like he was used to. Used to being something that he hadn’t done for so long. It felt weird but amazing all at once when Frank finally felt Gerard's hand move from his hair, going limp against his leg while he pulled off, looking up at Gerard while he licked at the mess of come that was rolling down his chin.

 

Frank sat back down on his feet, taking a moment to assess what the fuck had just happened, panting while he watched Gerard redress himself, doing up his pants before fastening his belt. Frank wanted to excuse himself for a second while he buttoned his shirt back up. He needed to go and clean up but he was far too interested in watching Gerard, seeing how he looked after what he had just done. He didn’t seem so jealous anymore, a lot more chilled out and content with Frank when he looked at him.

 

“Don’t think you are off the hook, boy,” Gerard spoke, breaking the silence that now filled the office, “I am still very disappointed in you.”

 

“Of course, sir.” Frank nodded with a small smile that he fought to hide, hoping that with what Gerard had said, there was going to be more to this than what had already happened.

  
  
  
  
  
  



	30. Chapter 28.1 The Crystal Lake Killer isn't Going to Ease This Situation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING THIS IS A HEAVY CHAPTER. FEEL FREE TO SKIP OVER IF WHAT IS MENTIONED IN THIS CHAPTER IS TOO MUCH. 
> 
> Marquis de Sade and his 100 days of sodom are mentioned. There is mentions of torture, abuse, child abuse, rape...it doesn't mean that we condone any of it and we aren't looking to write anything like that, we are just wanting to be thorough. This story isn't just about bdsm sex, it about the lifestyle well, which we feel gets left out of a lot of stories sometimes. 
> 
> Just giving you fair warning before you read this chapter. I am about to tag the story accordingly now so I hope everyone is prepared for, well, the worst is only in this chapter, but still, we have to say something

“May I get up, sir?”

 

“Go.” Gerard sighed softly, his voice still soft but the stern edge never leaving for a wavering second.

 

Frank had gotten up off of the floor, ignoring the ache in his knees as Gerard sat in his desk chair, his cheeks pink and eyes blown out. Frank smiled proudly at the expression on his boss’ face as he wiped his hand over his mouth just in case, feeling the taste still lingering- and he hoped it would for ages.

 

“Don’t think I’m not on to you.”

 

“Whatever do you mean, sir?” Frank asked innocently as he walked over to the mirror behind Gerard’s door, fixing his hair before he turned and looked at Gerard, biting on his lip as his tongue trailed over the back of his teeth, his piercing tickling the roof of his mouth.

 

“Don’t think that you got away with your little game. I know you did that on purpose. I know you wanted to get a rise out of me.” Gerard cleared his throat, frowning at the papers on his desk, “What I fail to comprehend is why.”

 

“Actually I genuinely forgot about them.” Frank shrugged nonchalantly as he caught Gerard’s suspicious gaze as he wandered over, perching himself over the corner of Gerard’s desk, “But even if that was my plan, it looked like it worked. I definitely did get a rise out of you… In more ways than one. But you started it, sir. You’re the one who taught the misbehaving dog a lesson. You’re the Master.”

 

Gerard swallowed uneasily at the last word that rolled far too easily from Frank’s all-too-skilled tongue and he eyed his assistant ruefully, “You’re just trying to wear me down, aren’t you? Because of the way I acted yesterday.”

 

“So what if I am?” Frank asked innocently, “Is that so wrong? Is it so awful to want you the way I do when I know you feel the same. To have what I need most...”

 

“How do you know that?” Gerard scoffed and Frank raised his eyebrow.

 

“If you didn’t want me, you wouldn’t have come in my mouth.”

 

“Fair point.” Gerard leaned back in his chair, elbow resting on the armrest as he tapped his chin thoughtfully with his index finger, “A very fair point.”

 

“Thanks.” Frank smiled.

 

“But…” Gerard began and Frank groaned unhappily.

 

“No ‘but’. I hate that ‘but’.” 

 

“Unfortunately, Frank…” Gerard steepled his fingers, “You know where I stand on this. I said no.”

 

“But why…” Frank whined unhappily, almost bouncing where he sat like a child who was just denied his favourite candy, “Why-y-y…”

 

“Frank enough.” Gerard pressed firmly, ‘I said no. No means no, boy.”

 

“But I-” 

 

“Frank!” Gerard snapped suddenly, his voice rising, making Frank jump in fright and his mouth snap shut instantly, “I said no. And that’s quite enough from you.”

 

“Yes, sir.” Frank whispered softly, looking down at his one leg that was still perched on the desk and swinging lazily.

 

“Off my desk.” Gerard ordered simply and Frank hopped off, “Lord knows, you can behave better than this.”

 

Frank didn’t reply to that comment as he walked around Gerard’s chair to the expansive bookshelf behind him, scanning and scrolling through the titles, most in English and some in French. They varied from Literature to Poetry to books on and about Politics and History. Frank didn’t know what half of it meant but he kept going, remembering what Lindsey had said about Gerard’s fascination with romance and poetry, wondering if he should perhaps try another approach.

 

“Whoa.” He muttered as he spotted a book bound in crimson leather, the material looking authentic and old, the embellished words having lost their lustre, “This book must be decades old.”

 

“Be careful.” Gerard was suddenly at Frank’s side, silent motions that he had grown accustomed to by now, “It’s over a hundred years old, boy.”

 

“Wow…” Frank peered at the title, “It’s French?”

 

“It is…” Gerard nodded as he took the book from the shelf and held it in his hands, “I have the English version at home but it’s not very fitting for a working environment.”

 

“Then why have the French one here?” Frank frowned as Gerard ran a finger over the book.

 

“Because I am the only one here who knows the language so only I can understand what is hidden in these pages.”

 

“And what, uh,” Frank cleared his throat, “What exactly is in those pages?”

 

“Do you know who the Marquis de Sade is, Frank?” Gerard eyed him as he wandered over to his chair and sat down, a leg folded over the other with the book in his lap. Frank bit his lip, thinking for a moment before he shook his head, “The Marquis de Sade, or  Donatien Alphonse Francois was a French nobleman.”

 

“Right.” Frank walked over to the chair across from Gerard’s desk and flopped into it, listening intently as Gerard decided to carry on with his sudden storytime.

 

“He was a revolutionary politician and a philosopher and a writer as you can see. He was also famous for his libertine sexuality. He wrote all sorts of things, mind you. He’s best known for his erotic works that combined philosophical discourse with pornography. He depicted sexual fantasies with emphasis on violence, criminality and blasphemy against Christianity. He was a proponent of extreme freedom and he was unrestrained by morality or religion or the law. In fact, the words ‘sadism’ and ‘sadist’ are derived from his very name.” Gerard looked at Frank, who was more than mildly impressed.

 

“Sounds like a dude you could really have a beer with.” Was Frank’s only comment, “So what’s the book about then.”

 

“It’s one of Marquis’ most debauched works. It’s called ‘The 120 Days of Sodom’ or as it was originally titled ‘Salò’.” Gerard smirked and Frank frowned deeply.

 

“Sounds like anal.” Frank snickered, “Y’know, sodomy.”

 

“Very apt of you, boy. Yes, that is the point.” Gerard replied, sounding rather bored.

 

“Oh.” Frank went pink, “So- So what’s it about?”

 

“Four fascists kidnap young men and women and subject them to torture and perversion.” Gerard opened the book cover carefully and Frank stared at it in horror, silently wondering to himself why Gerard would own such a thing, let alone have it with him in his office. 

 

“How so?” Frank choked out, his voice sounding thick and strangled as he stared at the bound pages, his stomach twisting uncomfortably.

 

“The novel takes place over five months, November to March,” Gerard explained as Frank readjusted and leaned forward, listening intently as he lay his chin on his fist, propping himself up, “Four wealthy libertines lock themselves in a castle along with a number of victims and accomplices. Since they state that the sensations produced by the organs of hearing are the most erotic, they intend to listen to various tales of depravity from four prostitutes, which inspires them to engage in similar activities with their victims.”

 

“Oh I see.” Frank nodded, “Then what?”

 

“For each of the first four months, November to February, the prostitutes take turns to tell five stories each day, relating to the fetishes of their most interesting clients, and thus totaling 150 stories for each month. These passions are separated into four categories- simple, complex, criminal, and murderous- escalating in complexity and savagery.”

 

“Wait,” Frank frowned, “What’s in each of those categories though? Like, I thought sex was sex with a different choice of holes.”

 

Gerard stared at him for a long moment, an intense gaze that had Frank feeling as though he had done something wrong, his feet turning inward and his gaze turning elsewhere, “My dear boy, if those are your thoughts on sex then I pity you greatly.”

 

“Well then go on, explain it.” Frank urged, “I wanna know.”

 

“You’re lucky I know this by heart,” Gerard looked at the book, “The simple passions were first, taking place in November, as I believe, these anecdotes are the only ones written in detail. They are only considered 'simple' in terms of them not including actual sexual penetration. The anecdotes include men who like to masturbate in the faces of seven-year-old girls, and indulge in urine drinking and coprophagia.”

 

“In what?”

 

“Coprophagia.” Gerard nodded, “Sexual fetish of excrement.”

 

“Like taking a dump on your chest kind of thing, right?”

 

“To a point, yes.”

 

“That’s not at all disgusting.” Frank pulled a face, grimacing at the thought, “Ew.”

 

“Well, Frank, if you think about it this way. Anal sex is closely linked to coprophagia much to people’s dismay. It’s the same area whether they like it or not, the only difference is that the one instance you recognise that it’s actually someone’s asshole and the other time you try and not think about it because of the fact that it’s actually someone’s asshole.”

 

Frank stared at Gerard for the longest time, trying not to let it make sense in his head, trying not to think about it or the fact that Gerard swore. 

 

“I’ll let you ruminate on that for a while next time you have someone buried inside of you, Frank. As I was saying,” Gerard cleared his throat as Frank’s entire face lit up beet red, his gaze on the nearest object as Gerard continued his explanation, “As they do throughout the story-telling sections, the four libertines- Blangis, the Bishop, Curval and Durcet- indulge in activities similar to those they've heard with their daughters and the kidnapped children.”

 

“Hang on…” Frank sat up straighter, “Children?”

 

“They took a number of people from their own sons and daughter, other children, teenagers of both sexes and old women.”

 

“What the actual fuck?” Frank was disgusted, “Why would you read that then?”

 

“I’ll get to that later,” Gerard smiled somewhat knowingly, “In December, December… The complex passions- these anecdotes involve more extravagant perversions, such as men who vaginally rape female children, indulge in incest and flagellation.”

 

“Flage-what?”

 

“Flagellation,” Gerard nodded, “Flogging or beating, either as a religious discipline or for sexual gratification.”

 

“Whoa…” Frank muttered, “That’s… Whoa. What happens next though? Do I wanna know?”

 

“Tales of men who indulge in sacrilegious activities are also recounted,” Gerard’s face went hard for a second, his jaw clenching before he relaxed somewhat, “Such as a man who enjoyed having sex with nuns whilst watching Mass being performed. The female children are deflowered vaginally during the evening orgies with other elements of that month's stories- such as whipping- occasionally thrown in.”

 

“Gross.” Frank muttered, scowling at the table as though it were to blame, completely and utterly horrified at the piece of oak furniture, “I doubt it gets any better.”

 

“January,” Gerard started as though recounting his memories of the book would be the answer to Frank’s question, “The criminal passions- tales are told of perverts who indulge in criminal activities, albeit stopping short of murder.”

 

“Oh no because murder is too far.” Frank scoffed, sitting back with his arms folded as Gerard tried to hide the smirk on his face at Frank’s unsettled demeanour.

 

“They include men who sodomise girls as young as three, men who prostitute their own daughters to other perverts and watch the proceedings, and others who mutilate women by tearing off fingers or burning them with red-hot pokers. During the month, the four libertines begin having anal sex with the sixteen male and female children who, along with the other victims, are treated more brutally as time goes on, with regular beatings and whippings.”

 

“Jesus…” Frank started to feel nauseous as he readjusted in his chair yet again, looking at the book as though it were about to run up and bite his arm off, or like a poisonous bug, Frank hated bugs, “I don’t like any of this.”

 

“And the final month was February,” Gerard merely continued as though Frank hadn’t even spoken, “February. The murderous passions- the final hundred and fifty anecdotes are those involving murder. They include perverts who skin children alive, disembowel pregnant women, burn alive entire families, and kill newborn babies in front of their mothers.”

 

“Wait, what?” Frank was abhorred, “You’re fucking kidding? This is like a horror movie or some shit. Where’s Jason when you need him?”

 

“The Crystal Lake killer isn’t going to ease this situation, Frank.”

 

“Does it get worse though?” Frank raised an eyebrow, “It can’t get worse, c’mon. They killed babies.”

 

“The final tale is the only one since the simple passions of November written in detail. It features the 'Hell Libertine' who masturbates while watching fifteen teenage girls being simultaneously tortured to death.” Gerard eyed Frank then, who shrunk in his seat and fumed in silence at Gerard’s obvious recant of his statement, “During this month, the libertines brutally kill three of the four daughters they have between them, along with four of the female children and two of the male ones. The murder of one of the girls, 15-year-old Augustine, is described in great detail, with the tortures she is subjected to including having flesh stripped from her limbs, her vagina being mutilated and her intestines being pulled out of her sliced-open belly and burned.”

 

“Are you done?”

 

“March, this is the shortest of the segments,” Gerard merely chuckled at Frank’s previous question, clearly enjoying himself as he made Frank wish he hadn’t asked to hear about the book in question, “Sade summarising things even more by this final point in the novel. He lists the days on which the surviving children and many of the other characters are disposed of, although he does not give any details. Instead he leaves a footnote to himself pointing out his intention on detailing things more in a future revision.”

 

“You honestly worry me.” Frank stood up, feeling as though sitting wasn’t enough for this particular moment, his body just couldn’t handle being still as he processed everything that had been recalled for him from within the yellowed pages.

 

“It is perhaps significant that Sade was interested in the manner in which sexual fetishes are developed, as are his primary characters, who urge the storytellers to remind them, in later stages, as to what the client in that particular anecdote enjoyed doing in their younger years.” Gerard commented and Frank turned to look at him with a raised eyebrow.

 

“How so?”

 

“There are a number of recurring figures, such as a man who, in the early tales, enjoys pricking women's breasts with pins and, at his reappearance in the tales in the 'murderous passions' category, delights in killing women by raping them atop a bed of nails.” Gerard swapped legs, draping the left now over the right all-too-casually as his eyes stayed fixated on Frank in the corner of the office, almost hiding behind a tall potted plant.

 

“I see… And uh- if you don’t mind my asking…” Frank fidgeted again, pushing a lengthy leaf from in front of his face, “Why- Why do you have this, again?”

 

“Well first off, boy,” Gerard set the book down carefully, “What you need to understand is that this isn't just a book. This book coined the start of the entire lifestyle of bondage and Sado-Masochism.”

 

“That’s whips and chains and shit, right?”

 

“To put it as lightly as possible.” Gerard nodded, “The entire lifestyle itself is not to be toyed and played with until you understand it, understand the actual horror behind it and the dangers of getting too close. You never mess with things that you are never fully aware of. The lifestyle itself was started so long ago, over three hundred years perhaps, and the main points of it are that it’s not for anyone of the faintest of heart or stomach. Many people have died from it.”

 

“Wow…” Frank whispered, his eyes now fixated on the book, “I didn’t know that.”

 

“Not many people do.” Gerard nodded as he set the book back, “Which is rather sad considering how many people are, or try to be, involved with it. It takes a skill and finesse and a whole other mindset to be a part of it.”

 

“Sir?”

 

“Yes, boy?”

 

“Are- I mean…” Frank felt his cheeks flood with colour, “Does it… Interest you?”

 

There was silence then, a deafening silence like the one that rings out after a gunshot in a crowd. Frank dared a glance up at Gerard who was standing at his bookshelf, his hand still poised over the book, his back to his now shied assistant.

 

“That’s a very personal question, Frank.” Gerard turned and looked at his assistant, standing at his desk with his arms folded firmly.

 

“As personal as your dick officially in two different parts of my body?” Frank shot back as he stepped away from the plant and one or two steps closer to his boss, “I think I’m entitled to one personal question.”

 

“What if I don’t feel like answering?” Gerard raised an poignant eyebrow as a chagrin settled in Frank’s stomach, a feeling of almost realisation.

 

“Then that answers it for me.” Frank bit his lip, “You are, aren’t you? That’s… That’s why you’re… You.”

 

“Frank, don’t start with this.”

 

“But- But it makes sense though.” Frank looked at Gerard as he stayed his distance from him, looking at him, “It’s why you’re so- I mean I don’t know jack shit about bondage but I know there’s a dominant person and a person who does what they’re told-”

 

“Submissive.”

 

“See!” Frank shot back and Gerard pursed his lips, putting his hands in his pockets, leaning on one foot, “And you’re the dominant one and I can see it on you and it’s the way you act with me- I mean look at what you’ve made me become. I can’t even go and pee without feeling like I need to ask. You’ve made me eat breakfast for the first time since I started high school and… I call you ‘sir’!”

 

“I’m your boss, Frank.” Gerard raised his eyebrow.

 

“That doesn’t matter though!” Frank through his hands up, “I can see it now… You’re- Oh my God.”

 

“It didn’t start out that way.”

 

“But you- Ryan was right.” Frank smacked his forehead, “You were, weren’t you? You were grooming me.”

 

“Stop this, Frank. You’re being absurd.”

 

“You’re doing it now. Telling me what to do, ordering me around like…”

 

“Like my assistant?” Gerard queried and Frank let out a small laugh.

 

“Is that why I’m your assistant? Did you want me for other reasons and you just wanted to keep me close by just in case? Do you think I can actually do this job or am I just your test dummy? Is this what Lindsey meant by ‘company ink’? Everyone you wanted ended up working for you just in case, it’s just how you did things?”

 

“Frank.”

 

“No. There’s assistant and then there’s me. I- I didn’t see it because I didn’t know. I had no clue but oh… You’re like… Like one of those dudes, aren’t you?”

 

Gerard sat down in his desk chair as Frank stared at him, leaning on the side of the desk, their eyes locked, “Like one of what, boy?”

 

“Master…” Frank whispered softly.

 

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.” Gerard whispered back, his eyes never wavering from Frank’s as they stared at each other.

 

“I think I do. I think I finally do. That’s why you kept shrugging me off. You got me in bed to figure me out, didn’t you? You think I can’t do this, right?”

 

“Frank…”

 

“Right?” He urged again and Gerard sighed, rubbing his hands over his face in what seemed like frustration, “You thought I was what you wanted but then once you got me, you realised that I’m not. How the fuck do you know from one night together? You don’t fucking know me from Adam, Gerard!”

 

“Don’t you talk to me that way.” Gerard warned at the sudden usage of a name he was obviously not aware that Frank knew about, his voice rising and making Frank instantly want to cave and give in but Frank knew he was on the right path, he knew what he was talking about, finally seeing clearly. All he needed was for Gerard to admit it and he stood his ground, feet planted on the orange carpeted rug under his shoes.

 

“You’re not my Master, you can’t tell me what to do.” Frank narrowed his eyes at Gerard, scrutinising him, watching Gerard’s jaw clench and his temple throb. He clearly didn’t like that in the slightest.

 

“I’m still your boss.” Gerard warned.

 

“You won’t sack me. I sucked your balls.” Frank grinned devilishly when Gerard’s phone suddenly rang beside him on the desk, the white office phone beeping shrill, breaking their tension. Gerard eyed Frank for a moment before he leaned over and picked up the receiver.

 

“Gerard Way?” He answered casually as though Frank wasn’t even here, “Yes, Alex? I’ll be there now.”

 

Gerard hung up the phone a moment later and Frank raised an eyebrow, watching as Gerard got up.

 

“You’re leaving?”

 

“I’m going across the hall.” Gerard stated simply before he looked at Frank, who had turned around as he walked to the door, “You stay.”

 

Frank watched him walk out and shut the door again and he let out a sighing breath, his mind reeling, his heart thumping in his chest as though a prisoner begging to escape from it’s cell. He knew he could use this situation to his advantage, he knew that somehow he could persuade Gerard into seeing sense. He just didn’t know how.

 

He knew now who and what Gerard was, knew now that Gerard was more than definitely in charge not only in the office but in every aspect of his life. Sure, Frank didn’t know a lot about the subject but he was more than willing to try if it meant Gerard was the one to do it to him.

 

And as long as no one murdered babies.

 

Frank thought quick on his feet suddenly, pushing Gerard’s desk chair aside and out of the way, he then dropped to his feet, sitting up on his knees, knowing that Gerard always looked at him wholly differently when he was like this. It had to be something important.

 

And he waited, facing the side of Gerard’s desk that he’d have to walk around to see him, keeping himself out of sight until the very last second. 

 

A couple minutes later the door opened again and Frank’s heart stopped, his body froze as he heard the very same door close softly.

 

“Frank?” Gerard called out curiously when he obviously noted the office was empty but Frank didn’t reply, not wanting to give himself away, “I’m going to skin that boy.”

 

Frank heard Gerard’s shoes on the floor, coming closer when the wheels of the desk chair moved, spun out of his periphery and Gerard stood there in its place, polished shoes being the only thing Frank could see besides neat hem of his dark teal slacks.

 

“What are you doing?” Gerard queried, his voice softer than it was before he left, his question not so much filled with confusion or intrigue but more than a resolve, “Frank?”

 

“Yes, sir?” Frank asked, unmoving.

 

“What are you doing down there?”

 

“You told me to stay.” Frank replied simply as he tried to control the shake in his voice when his nerves kicked in in full force, “I’m doing what I’m told.”

 

“I thought I couldn’t do that?” The question from Gerard’s lips sounded both rhetorical and sarcastic as though he were merely mimicking Frank’s earlier statement, knowing full well that if push came to shove that he would do it anyway. Only now, the difference was a physical declaration of that statement.

 

“Maybe I changed my mind,” Frank looked up at Gerard, his stomach in a bundled mess like a ball of snakes, consistent moving inside of him that was only made worse by the look he was being given, “Maybe I want to do as I’m told.”

 

“Is that what you want?”

 

“Yes, sir.” Frank barely managed above a whisper, so sure that it had been louder and hoping that Gerard was better at lip reading than he was at speaking right now.

 

“You do realise what you’re asking? What you’re getting involved in?” Gerard raised an eyebrow, still unmoved as he held the chair’s backrest.

 

“I’m getting involved in you.” Frank frowned, “And.. And the things that you… Do.”

 

“You have no idea of the things I do.” Gerard stated pointedly and frank swallowed hard, his throat drying up at the mere thought.

 

“Then tell me. Show me.” Frank leaned forward slightly, looking up in earnest, “I want this. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. I wouldn’t have stayed if, for a minute, I thought I couldn’t do it.”

 

“Frank…”

 

“Please…” Frank looked back down, “I don’t understand why you’re like this. I’m giving myself to you just short of a bow on my head and you’re still saying no.”

 

“Because if I bring you into this, I put your wellbeing, your mentality and your life into my hands. It’s not some frivolous high school fling, Frank. Once I own you, I own you. You’re mine and it’s all binding, I care for you and I make sure to do my damn best.”

 

“You…” Frank frowned, looking up again to see the deadpan seriousness in Gerard’s eyes, “Really?”

 

“If it were just a relationship, I would have swept you up long ago, before any of this happened. But it’s not. And I don’t do that either, I never have been the type for normalcy, for the bland and stale of the day to day relationship. And I figured that you wouldn’t want it- want me- after coming from the relationship you did.”

 

“I know it’s huge, I know it… It’s a big thing but, sir- I-” Frank frowned as he tried to find words, getting muddled and lost in Gerard’s stern gaze despite how molten amber his eyes appeared, “I can do this.”

 

“You’re sure of yourself.” Gerard sat down in his desk chair, turning to face Frank with his elbows resting on his knees, leaning forward slowly, “You do realise what it entails, boy?”

 

“Not to detail…” Frank admitted then, looking down.

 

“Look at me, boy. Right now you look at me, understand?” Gerard ordered and Frank returned his gaze up again, “Good. Now… If you do decide to do this, you do realise you won’t be in charge here?”

 

“I understand.” Frank nodded vigorously, “Don’t think I’d know how, to be honest.”

 

“No one’s in charge but me.” Gerard warned, “But in saying that, you as the submissive hold all of the power, do you realise that?”

 

“What?” Frank frowned as he nudged closer, “I don’t understand…”

 

“I may be holding you down, but you have the power to stop me. I may win battles, but you win wars.” Gerard purred softly and Frank swallowed, his hands shaking in his lap, “I may have the power to make you hurt, to keep you in control, but you tell me when it’s enough, you tell me what you want and I have to listen to you. That’s how this works, Frank.”

 

“That’s… There’s a word for that, I know that. Wait.” Frank frowned, “For the- the stopping thing.”

 

“A safeword, boy.” Gerard nodded and Frank looked up, smiling, “You’re not completely in the dark.”

 

“I’m not.”

 

“Not unless I put you in it.” Gerard warned, making Frank freeze, his eyes widening.

 

“Wh- What?”

 

“Relax.” Gerard waved a hand, “You see, because of the extreme nature of this type of relationship, a lot or most partners sign a contract.”

 

“You’re kidding.” Frank scoffed and Gerard shook his head, “Why?”

 

“Because each submissive goes through it with their Dominant and they decide what their limits are, and it’s a physical and documented contract to prove that they’re both of sound mind and that they both agree to adhere to the rules.”

 

“Whoa…” Frank whispered, “So I’d have to sign it?”

 

“Of course.” Gerard nodded, “I wouldn’t let you in if you didn’t.”

 

“Is it legally binding?”

 

“No. You’re not legally obligated to me but it is a written contract and each partner has to keep a safe copy.”

 

“Do- Do you have to make one or…” Frank readjusted on his knees before Gerard got up, grabbing him under the arms and hoisting him up, “Whoa!”

 

“I already have one, boy. I’ve had it for a while.” Gerard admitted and Frank’s jaw dropped before he broke into a wide grin.

 

“You old perv.” He chuckled, “You’ve wanted this for ages.”

 

“Would you like to do this now?” Gerard asked and Frank bit his lip, thinking it over before he decided.

 

“I wanna get something to drink first.”

 

~

 

Frank returned to Gerard’s office moments later with a steaming mug in his hands, the contents of which he wasn’t overly pleased about. He had gone in search of coffee only to find that the pot was empty and there was no coffee in sight, instant or filter. He had rifled through the cabinets before stealing a tea bag from one of the containers and steeping it for probably way too long. 

 

Frank took an experimental sip of it, shrugging at the taste when he had identified it as any tea that wasn’t green and decided to keep it. He slid into the chair across from Gerard, taking another sip as Gerard sorted through some papers that Frank could only assumer were for him.

 

“Tea, I see?” Gerard commented, “I didn’t take you as a tea boy.”

 

“Not usually,” Frank swallowed another sip, “There wasn’t any coffee left and this was all that was left. I snagged it from that green tupperware.”

 

“Oh,” Gerard smiled, “That’s my ginger and orange tea. It’s good, is it not?”

 

“Not to bad, yeah.” Frank smiled as he nursed the sturdy cup to his chest with both hands and looked on, “That’s a lot of pages.”

 

“Twenty three neatly typed out pages that covers all, if not most of the things in the lifestyle. If not, it’s the most important things that I feel are a necessity. I feel that I, myself, have knowledge enough to have seen this contract through despite having cited multiple sources to create a lengthy but defined and fully-covered list of the types of play, fetishes, paraphilias and limits.”

 

“None of that is English to me.” Frank stated simply, earning a soft chuckle from his boss in return.

 

“We’ll go through it as paced as you’d like and cover anything that you don’t understand.” Gerard reassured, “Don’t be afraid to ask.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“So,” Gerard turned to the first page when he slid a sleek silver pen towards Frank, who then sat up, setting his mug down on one of Gerard’s glass coasters, “Read this out loud and sign where needed. I’ve taken the liberty of signing all of my parts already.”

 

“Dominant and submissive contract,” Frank cleared his throat, “I, Frank Anthony Iero Junior, hereafter referred to as the submissive- this is a dope pen- do of my own free will, and being of sound mind and body, do hereby offer myself in consensual submission to Gerard Arthur Way- Your middle name is Arthur?”

 

“It is indeed.” Gerard smiled, turning in his chair, watching as Frank fiddled with the pen in his hands.

 

“-Hereinafter referred to as Master, for the period beginning at midnight on- what’s the date?”

 

“It’s the twenty second of July.” Gerard offered with a smile, “2015.”

 

“Right.” Frank filled in the date on the provided line, “And ending at midnight on- Wait, what?”

 

“Some partnerships are for a specific time. And some choose to renew their contracts after a certain time.” Gerard moved closer as he slid the document slightly sideways to look at it, “What do you think, boy?”

 

“Oh, uh… A year? Is- Is that good for now?”

 

“It’s your contract.” Gerard waved a hand to the pages as Frank nodded, filling in the date for a year from then.

 

“This agreement may be terminated at any time before the above named day by either party only in the event of breach of contract. On the above named date this agreement will be reviewed, negotiated and rewritten or terminated.”

 

“Understand?” Gerard asked and Frank nodded, “Keep going.”

 

“Part One. Submissive.” Frank lifted the contract up to read it as he took a careful sip of tea, “The submissive agrees to submit completely to the Master in all ways. There are no boundaries of place, time, or situation in which the submissive may willfully refuse to obey the directive of the Master without risking punishment, except in situations where the submissive's veto- see 1.1- applies. The submissive also agrees that, once entered into the Contract, their body belongs to their Master; to be used as seen fit, within the guidelines defined herein. That’s kinky shit.”

 

“That’s the general consensus, Frank.” gerard smiled, highly amused at Frank’s apparent nonchalance.

 

“All of the submissive's possessions likewise belong to the Master to do with as they see fit. Including, but not restricted to; all assets, finances and material goods.” Frank took another sip, “Lucky for you I own jack squat... The submissive agrees to please the Master to the best of their ability, in that they now exist solely for the pleasure of said Master. The submissive will have their hair washed and brushed in the style Master prefers at all times. The submissive agrees to wear any and all clothing Master picks. The submissive agrees to answer any and all questions asked by Master freely, promptly, and to the best of their knowledge. They further agree to volunteer any information that Master should know regarding their physical or emotional state. Whoa this is…”

 

“Too much?” Gerard asked curiously and Frank shook his head, frowning somewhat as he pressed the end of the pen to his lip in thought.

 

“Thorough,” Frank nodded then, “So if I’m feeling sad or something I have to tell you just in case I get crabby?”

 

“It’s advised.” 

 

“What if I’m crabby because I’m constipated? What then? Do I really have to share that or can I try and sneak one of those fancy yoghurts?”

 

“That’s a judgement call.” Gerard pursed his lips, trying his best not to smile to widely at Frank’s childish question, “You decide whether or not I need to know the frequency of your bowels, I think.”

 

“And I decide not.” Frank nodded with resolution before he continued reading, “Master agrees to never use this information to harm them in any way. The submissive agrees to address Master as "Sir" or "Master" unless otherwise directed. They agree to speak respectfully to Master at all times, including times not spent in a scene. Master may address the submissive in any way they so choose. Any way they choose?”

 

“Any way.” Gerard nodded.

 

“You’re to call me Griselda Laffy Taffy and nothing else.” Frank decided.

 

“It’s not your decision.” Gerard chuckled and Frank took a sip of tea, eyeing his boss over the rim of the mug with a wide grin.

 

“You’re no fun.”

 

“Oh I think you’ll find that statement to be a false accusation. Now keep reading.” Gerard pointed to the contract, “A lot to go through.”

 

“Part one point one. Submissive’s Veto. The submissive, where appropriate, holds veto power over any command given by the Master, at which time they may rightfully refuse to obey that command. This power may only be invoked under the following circumstances, or other circumstances agreed on by both Master and submissive. These circumstances include where said command conflicts with any existing laws and may lead to fines, arrest, or prosecution of the submissive. Where said command may cause extreme damage to submissive's life. Such as losing their job, causing family stress, etc. Where said command may cause permanent bodily harm- see 4.0- to the submissive and where said command may cause psychological trauma to the submissive- i.e. a rape scene for a submissive that has been raped in the past.”

 

“Understand?” Gerard asked and Frank nodded, “You sure?”

 

“I know what a ‘veto’ is, sir.” Frank smiled and Gerard pursed his lips before gesturing to the next page, which the latter turned to, “Part two. The Master. Ooh… Saucy.”

 

“I can read that, if you like.” Gerard held his hand out, taking the contract from Frank before he cleared his throat and started reading from the printed document, “The Master accepts the responsibility of the submissive’s body and worldly possessions, to do with as they see fit, under the provisions determined in this contract. The Master agrees to care for the submissive, to arrange for the safety and well-being of the submissive, as long as they own them. The Master also accepts the commitment to treat the submissive properly, to train, punish, care for the submissive, and use them as they see fit. Master agrees to learn what excites the submissive through exploration and communication and try to incorporate this into the relationship. Master agrees to furnish the submissive with a symbolic token of ownership-”

 

“What?” Frank frowned then, sitting up slightly as he caught sight of Gerard’s raised eyebrow, “I mean uh- Pardon?”

 

“Something catch your attention, boy?”

 

“A token of ownership?” Frank asked, tilting his head to the side.

 

“Well usually it’s like piece of jewelry to signify that I own you. Many and most pick a different type of collar depending on the relationship. There are quite a few different types of collars. But collars aren’t a lot of people’s accepted social attire so they wear a collar at home and when they’re out they wear something a bit less conspicuous like a bracelet or a soft collar made of velvet. Or even just an ownership tag.”

 

“And I get something?”

 

‘Of course.” Gerard looked at Frank with a hard pause, “I own you.”

 

“O- Oh…” Frank whispered, his stomach practically vaulting over his left lung at the way Gerard had spoken to him.

 

“The submissive,” Gerard continued, hiding his smirk to a degree almost as though he knew what had happened inside of Frank at that moment, “Agrees to wear this symbol at all times, except when Master states to do so would be inappropriate or would non-contractually involve others. Master accepts full responsibility of the submissive. This includes but is not limited to their: survival, health, physical well-being, and mental well-being.”

 

“Right.” Frank nodded, “Got it, sir.”

 

“Part three,” Gerard punctuated, “Scenes. The submissive accepts full responsibility for informing Master of any real or perceived dangers or safety concerns, but also states that Master's decision will be final regarding these issues, with the proper explanation. Master agrees that the submissive will not be punished for respectfully stating these concerns. Master further agrees to listen to their concerns with a clear and open mind. Master shall endeavor not to inflict physical harm upon the submissive which might require the attention of someone outside relationship.The submissive agrees to accept the responsibility of using a safe word when necessary. Now, Frank, there’s a part here to fill in that you need to decide on, boy.”

 

“Which is?”

 

“You need a safe word and a safe signal for when you’re unable to speak.” Gerard pointed to the two blank lines in the paragraph of writing and Frank’s mind went completely blank, “Something you wouldn’t say during sex, something completely random that you and I will understand as you wanting me to completely stop.”

 

“Oh shit uh…” Frank scratched at his head, “I don’t fucking know, sir.”

 

“How about…” Gerard’s brows knitted together as he contemplated, “Pineapples.”

 

“P-” Frank looked up from the pages at Gerard’s amused eyes and all-knowing smirk, “You’re kidding me?”

 

“It was one of the first things I noticed about you, boy.”

 

“Ah, the fucking socks.” Frank smacked his forehead lightly, “Knew they’d come back to bite me in the ass. Fuck. Fine. Pineapples it is.”

 

“And a signal.”

 

“How about I middle finger you?” Frank asked jokingly as he smiled, taking a small sip of the still-scalding tea.

 

“Despite whatever it is I’ll be doing, perhaps you pick something a little less vulgar?” Gerard offered.

 

“Fine. The hidden middle finger.” Frank held up his three fingers, “See it’s up but you got one on each side so it’s not offensive and you have plausible deniability.”

 

“Three fingers it is.” Gerard surrendered, “Coincidentally, three fingers seems to be a fan favourite where you’re concerned.”

 

“How do you manage to make fingering my ass sound less vulgar than it is?” Frank looked up from filling in the contract.

 

“I’m Batman, Frank. Now write.” Gerard nodded, “I want to still be thirty six when we finish this.”

 

“Keep your thong on.” Frank scowled as he filled in the last line before sliding it over to Gerard, who inspected the page.

 

“Did you have to write ‘hidden middle finger’?” Gerard asked rhetorically, sighing softly as he scratched his eyebrow, decidedly going on with narrating the contract, “Submissive acknowledges their safe signals as such and Master accepts the responsibility of assessing situations where the submissive calls safe word and will, to the best of their ability, stop the activity entirely. Master agrees not to punish them for the use of a safeword. Thereafter the situation will be discussed calmly between Master and the submissive, find the problem and mediate a solution.”

 

“Gotcha.” Frank nodded, “Keep going, sir.”

 

“Master agrees to furnish all toys such as vibrators, etc. and punishment implements such as crops and whips. The submissive agrees to clean and maintain all toys, have them available for Master's use at all times, and inform Master of any needed repairs or replacements.The Master and submissive will discuss and write out their soft and hard limits. They both agree to never violate these limits without prior negotiation or consent of the other. At the end of the play Master will remember the aftercare for both of them; it is an important part of a scene and will conclude play.”

 

“Aftercare?”

 

“Physical, mental, emotional and psychological caring after a scene has taken place to ensure that both partners are okay and not damaged in anyway.” Gerard nodded, “Some things can be a bit harsh or hard on either one and maintenance is key.”

 

“Right, okay.” Frank nodded, spinning the pen in his fingers still, “What’s next?”

 

“Section four,” Gerard smirked slightly, “Punishment.”

 

“O- Oh…” Frank leaned in slightly, “Can- Can I see?”

 

“You’re more than welcome, boy.” Gerard handed the contract back and Frank stared at the bold section heading with apprehension. He knew exactly what it meant, “Loud and clear, Frank.”

 

“The submissive agrees and understands that any infractions of this agreement, or any act they commit which displeases Master, will result in punishment. The submissive will gracefully accept punishment and try to learn from it. They agree to assemble the punishment materials asordered by Master and assume any position needed to accept the punishment.” Frank looked at Gerard for a second, his cheeks flushing a rosy pink no doubt, “They understand that failure to comply with Master's orders will result in a more severe punishment. Master will inform slave that they are being punished when punishment occurs. H- How severe are we talking here?”

 

“As severe as I think is necessary.” Gerard sat back in his chair, crossing one leg over the other.

 

“Master will explain the reason for punishment either before, during, or following punishment. Master agrees to discipline only out of a desire to better the slave, and further agrees to never punish out of, or during, feelings of anger.” Frank sighed, “So you can flog me however you please but not when you’re constipated because there’s no yoghurt.”

 

“Right.”

 

“That’s reassuring.” Frank nodded, “Gerard?”

 

“Yes, boy?”

 

“Please always have yoghurt.” Frank bit his lip nervously when Gerard laughed at Frank’s plea, chuckling at the nervous humour.

 

“I’ll put it on the list.” Gerard looked at the contract, “What’s next.”

 

“Section four point one. Rules of punishment,” Frank looked at Gerard before he started reading, “Punishment of the submissive is subject to certain rules designed to protect the slave from intentional abuse or permanent bodily harm- see 4.2. Punishment must not incur permanent bodily harm, or the following forms of abuse,” He turned the page, the first word making him jump slightly, “Blood may not be drawn at any time. Punishment must stop immediately if blood is drawn, burning the body, drastic loss of circulation, causing internal bleeding, loss of consciousness, withholding of any necessary materials, such as food, water, or sunlight for extended periods of time.”

 

“So if any of those were to happen, punishment doesn’t happen, alright?”

 

“I’d fucking hope not.” Frank whispered, “Four point two, permanent bodily harm- wait. This has to be it’s own section?”

 

“Of course, dear boy.” Gerard frowned, “If anything it should have it’s own emblazoned signage.”

 

“Wow.” Frank looked down at the heading for a moment, “Since the body of the submissive now belongs to the Master, it is the Master's responsibility to protect that body from permanent bodily harm. Should the submissive ever come to permanent bodily harm during the course of punishment or in any other related activity, whether by intention or accident, it will be grounds for immediate termination of this contract, should they so desire. Permanent bodily harm shall be determined as the following…”

 

“Read these carefully.”

 

“Death- Whoa, right off the bat with this. Fucking death?” Frank looked up incredulously, “Death.”

 

“I did say that before. If you’re in improper hands or someone who isn’t of full knowledge. Mistakes are made and costs are lengthy.” Gerard stated grimly, his face grave as he ran a hand through his hair.

 

“Any damage that involves loss of mobility or function, including broken bones, any permanent marks on the skin, including scars, burns, or tattoos, unless accepted by the submissive. Any loss of hair, unless accepted by the submissive, any piercing of the flesh which leaves a permanent hole, unless accepted by the submissive, any diseases that could result in any of the above results, including sexually transmitted diseases.”

 

“Speaking of,” Gerard muttered, “When were you last tested, Frank?”

 

“Oh!” Frank looked up at the ceiling as he thought back to the last time he had gone, “A… Bout a week after I broke up with Ryan I think, I mean he was the only person I’d been with but I’m always cautious.”

 

“Hang on, the only one?” Gerard frowned and Frank looked at him, looking at his surprise.

 

“Well yeah,” Frank straightened up, “Besides you, I mean. We started dating in high school. Six years, I’m only twenty two.”

 

“So he was your first?” Gerard asked as he nodded more to himself than anyone else before shaking his head slightly and returning back to the topic, “And you’re clean, I take it?”

 

“I keep my results in my wallet?” Frank gestured to where his office was, “I can show you.”

 

“I’ll look later but I’m taking your word for it.” Gerard slid his own test results towards Frank, who peered over it, “Fit as a fiddle.”

 

“AB positive.” Frank pursed his lips, “Go you.”

 

“Point is.” Gerard took the sheet back, “I get monthly check ups to be on the safe side and I suggest you take it into advisement to do the same.”

 

“Alright.” Frank nodded, “I suppose I can do that.”

 

“Carry on, I believe there was more in that section.” Gerard pointed with a dismissive finger swipe in the general direction of the contract on the desk.

 

“Nope.” Frank turned the page, “Section five though. Others. The submissive may not seek any other Master or lover or relate to others in any sexual or submissive way without the Master's permission; to do so will be considered a breach of contract, and will result in extreme punishment. The Master may accept other submissives or lovers- I beg your sweet fucking pardon?”

 

“Keep reading, Frank.”

 

“-but must consider the submissive's emotional response to such actions and act accordingly. Oh…” Frank frowned to himself at his stupidity, blushing bright red at how defensive he got at the thought of Gerard with anyone else but urged himself to move on, feeling his insides grow tight and his skin hot and flustered, “Under no circumstance should the Master allow such actions to unbalance the submissive emotionally, or allow such actions to result in ignoring the submissive.The Master may give the submissive to other Masters, provided that the submissive agrees and the rules of this contract are upheld. In such a situation, the Master will inform the new Master of the provisions stated herein, and any breach by the new Master will be considered a breach by the Master as well, subject to all rules stated in this contract. Uh- the fuck he won’t.”

 

“Don’t like sharing, I see?” Gerard comment and Frank scowled up at him ruefully, “Okay, calm down. No sharing. That’s alright, at least you’re bargaining and we’re talking.”

 

“No sharing.” Frank scowled at the contract, “Also, I’ve noticed something.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Your contract is wonky,” Frank sniffed, “Master and Dominant get capitalised but submissive doesn’t. That’s not right though. Submissive is also a title. It’s a noun.”

 

“Be that as it may, in the bondage world, there is a thing called Capitalization and Honorifics.” Gerard explained, “Some in the BDSM lifestyle insist that words referring to the dominant person in a relationship should always be capitalized, whereas those referring to the submissive partner should be written in lowercase. In the world of BDSM, it is your Master or Mistress who determines all your rules of capitalization, not the grammar books. For one, if I tell you to capitalise my title, you do so end of story. But in general, my dear boy, the Dominant is with a capital letter because they are of more importance and of higher stature. The submissive or slave is a nothing and has to earn their right to have any sort of honor or capital letter in their name or title. And it’s all to do with respect, the subservient is never on the same level as their Dominant unless put there, both on paper and physically.”

 

“You guys really do the details…” Frank muttered, “Well alright then, I was wrong.”

 

“I’m glad you asked, Frank.” Gerard slid the contract back to him and turned to the next page, Section six, Secrecy.”

 

“What?”

 

“All physical evidence of the agreement will be kept in total secrecy, except where both Master and submissive agree. Any violation of this clause shall be cause to terminate this contract,should the injured party wish it. The materials and physical evidence shall be kept under lock and key in a place acceptable to both parties,” Gerard looked up, “That’s a general rule for everyone in the lifestyle but I stick to it a little more closely given my political station, you understand?”

 

“Definitely, sir.” Frank nodded eagerly, “I totally get it.”

 

“Section seven, Alteration and Termination of Contract,” Gerard read out, his voice flowing as smooth as honey for Frank like it always did, the sound was calming, melodious with just a smidge of drop dead fucking sex God, “This contract may not be altered, except when both Master and submissive agree. If the contract is altered, the new contract shall be printed and signed, and then the old contract must be destroyed.This contract may be terminated at any time by the Master or the submissive. Upon termination,all physical evidence of the agreement, including this contract, will be destroyed, and all materials and belongings shall belong to the Master, to be shared or kept as they see fit. The submissive, owning nothing and having agreed to give up all worldly possessions and body to the Master, shall once again own their body, but nothing else, unless the Master decides to give back their possessions.”

 

“Hey, at least I’ll get my jack squat back.” Frank commented, trying to avoid any and all thoughts as to why the contract would be terminated.

 

“Now,” Gerard slid it back to Frank, “Read and sign. Name, date and signature on the correct lines please.”

 

“Right.” Frank clicked his pen, “ I have read and fully understand this contract in its entirety. I agree to give everything I own to my Master, and further accept their claim of ownership over my physical body. I understand that I will be commanded and trained and punished as a slave, and I promise to be true and to fulfill the pleasures and desires of my master to the best of my abilities. I further understand that I can withdraw from this contract at any time. Signed, Frank Anthony Iero Junior.”

 

 


	31. Chapter 28.2: Cookin' MC's Like a Pound of Bacon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These next few chapters are some of the best things I have ever had the pleasure of working through with someone. So fun. Unfortunately there is a lot to go through in the next few chapters and I'm not entirely sure of what to warn about. I mean, this is a 26 page BDSM contract that Frank is about to go through so, I'm placing a warning just in case, but if you guys know how I can warn better then please don't hesitate to let me know. I will tag as appropriately as possible.
> 
> Any errors, apologies, but we think we got them all :)

“Good boy.” Gerard smiled, “You’ll note I pre-signed my pieces.”

 

“So efficient.” Frank commented, “Outstanding work, sir.”

 

“Your patronising is what warms my heart, Frank.” Gerard rolled his eyes as he took the contract back, “Now for the fun part. Section eight is the Addendum, the lists to go through. We will discuss in this order the types of play, the fetishes, the paraphilia and then your limits, understand? Now I need to reiterate that just because you have said yes to something doesn't mean we will do it, this is just to understand your limits.”

 

“Y- Yes, sir.” Frank muttered, the nervousness creeping back in at the thought of what was awaiting in the thick pages that were left, they had only gone through- what?- Five pages?

 

“I name and you tell me yes or no or maybe,” Gerard opened with that simple order before he looked at the page again, “But also understand that just because you say a yes to something doesn’t automatically mean we will do it. It’s just so I know where your limits are. If you say yes to a golden shower, it doesn’t mean I will, it simply means I know you’re okay with it. Although that does happen to be a personal favourite.”

 

“Oh my god, really?” Frank’s eyes widened in fervid surprise as Gerard merely smiled and looked down at the list.

 

“Age play?”

 

“Uh…”

 

“A form of role playing in which a submissive acts as if they were a different age, sexual or non-sexually. And their Dominant is usually their carer.”

 

“Oh!” Frank smacked his forehead, “Shit, I’ve heard of that. Like Daddy stuff, right?”

 

“Right.”

 

“Hard pass, thank you.” Frank shook his head, “Not my thing.”

 

Gerard highlighted the line in red, and that’s when Frank noted a red, yellow and green marker next to his boss, no doubtedly for each answer, “Animal roleplay?”

 

“Nope.”

 

“Bondage?”

 

“Yes.” Frank grinned at the thought, “Definitely.”

 

“Breast torture?”

 

“I don’t have…”

 

“Same general area.” Gerard rationalised for his assistant, “Nipples included, I might add.”

 

“I don’t like the word ‘torture’ but sure.”

 

“Cock and ball torture?” Gerard chuckled then, realising why Frank had jumped in his seat, his eyes widened in genine fear as terrifying thoughts flashed through his head faster than a speeding locomotive.

 

“Even less but a- alright.”

 

“Control?”

 

“Uh-huh.” Frank swallowed.

 

“Electrostimulation?”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Edgeplay?” Gerard looked up when Frank remained silent, the latter trying his hardest to wrack his brain, to figure out what Gerard had mentioned. It was when he came up empty that he shook his head, waiting for his boss to reiterate.

 

“What?”

 

“Sexual play that is very extreme in nature. Said to be on the edge of safety and sometimes even sanity. Can be very dangerous if not practiced correctly.” Gerard bit his lip and looked up at Frank, who was now dead frozen in his seat with what felt like a radiating, nauseating fear that maybe this wasn’t for him, but no he knew it was just nerves. He swallowed everything back down, “Frank?”

 

“Yes. I- Edgeplay is good.”

 

“Flogging?”

 

“Yes. I- I like the idea of that.” Frank glanced at the old umbrella stand that stood at the very end of Gerard’s bookshelf with the two old but sturdy looking canes lazing about in it and a slow chill ran down his legs.

 

“Golden showers?”

 

“What, like pee?” Frank frowned, tearing his gaze away and to Gerard looked up at him from under his lashes with a high amusement, making Frank want to giggle like a child, “Yeah sure, why not.”

 

“Interesting,” Gerard looked back down, “Japanese bondage?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Medical play?”

 

“Get the fuck out with that, thanks.” Frank winced at the thought, “I hated going to the doctor if I was sick, you think I’m gonna play nurses, you must be mad.”

 

Gerard merely chuckled at that, loosening his tie slightly before popping the top button with two very skilled fingers, “Paraphilic infantilism?”

 

“That sounds a bone disease.” Frank chuckled.

 

“Daddy kink.”

 

“Same thing. Nope.”

 

“Predicament bondage.” Gerard disclosed as he replaced the cap on the red marker, “Is a form of bondage, typically in which a person is restrained with an option of placing themself in one of a pair of uncomfortable positions, which are sufficiently uncomfortable that the person is forced to shift after a time to the other position. Usually to cause muscle ache for example.”

 

“Then yes. Who needs yoga?” Frank joked weakly as his leg began to shake yet again.

 

“Sexual roleplay?”

 

“Please and thanks.” Frank then grinned.

 

“Spanking?”

 

“I-...” Frank felt himself blush at the mere mention of the word and he looked down, whispering a barely audible ‘yeah’ back to Gerard, who crossed it in green with a wide smile on his face that Frank wanted to slap off.

 

“Suspension?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Torture in general.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Tickle torture.”

 

“Oh god.” Frank’s whole body tensed up then, “I- Maybe.”

 

“Wax play?”

 

“I love playing with wax when I’m bored.” Frank grinned, “Used to do it as a kid too.”

 

“There’s nothing surprising in that statement, not going to lie to you, Frank.” Gerard chuckled, “Domestic servitude?”

 

“Being your maid and shit?”

 

“Yes, boy.”

 

“Dope. Sounds fun.” Frank smiled.

 

“Slavery.”

 

“Good to me.”

 

“Chastity?” Gerard looked up and Frank had raised a curious eyebrow, “Chastity belts or cages of that nature in BDSM may be used as part of a practice of orgasm control, to prevent the wearer from engaging principally in sexual intercourse without the permission of the Dominant, who acts as ‘keyholder’. A chastity belt will also prevent other sexual activity such as masturbation and oral sex for the submissive being chastised.”

 

“Alright…”

 

“Erotic humiliation?”

 

“Sure, I guess.” Frank shrugged, nipping at a piece of loose skin on his bottom lip as he watched Gerard’s hands skim over the page, a memory of Gerard’s hands doing the same thing over Frank’s skin when they were first together flashed across his brain and he sucked in a breath and slid back into his seat.

 

“Sexual slavery?”

 

“Is there a difference?” Frank’s eyebrows rose then and he leaned forward.

 

“A vast one, yes.”

 

“Then slot it in with the other one, I’m down.”

 

“Verbal humiliation?”

 

“Nothing new. Yes.”

 

“Well now we’re done with the types of play. Most, if not all, of the things mentioned below will fall under those categories.” Gerard turned the page, “Fetishes. Do you know what a fetish is?”

 

“Uh… Probably not in the fancy way you’d explain it, no.”

 

“A form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body et cetera, et cetera.” Gerard waved a hand, “It’s the things in everyday life that get people riled up the way they do. The fascination.”

 

“Let’s hear ‘em.” Frank sat back in his chair.

 

“Shoe worship?”

 

“Yes. Shoes are good. I mean who doesn’t worship the almighty Chuck Taylor?” Frank could feel his nervous babbling wanting to spew forth like Old Faithful, wanting to gurgle up like acidic bile in his throat but he held as much of it back as possible.

 

“Uniforms?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Smoking?”

 

“No bueno.” Frank shook his head, “I don’t think that’ll get me going, thanks.”

 

“Latex?”

 

“Like gimp masks and binders and shit? Sure, I’m in for that.”

 

“Food?”

 

“Maybe. Depends though because no one is sticking anything spicy in my asshole.” Frank crossed his arms and Gerard looked up, highly amused.

 

“Is that what you think, boy?”

 

Frank faltered, “Wh-”

 

“You wait until I tell you what figging is.” Gerard replied cryptically and Frank’s expression soured as he tried to gauge what it could be, “Urine?”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Obesity?”

 

“No.” Frank shook his head, “I mean I have nothing against appearances but I can’t say I’ve ever wanked off to Mama June or Fat Albert.”

 

“How lovely of you to enlighten me, Frank,” Gerard eyed his assistant for a moment, “I would like to know what it is you think of when you touch yourself however. But… Another time.”

 

“I-”

 

“Cross dressing.” Gerard quickly changed the topic, making Frank relax, a sigh of relief when he realised he didn’t have to share with his boss that he himself was one of the main stars of his vulgar fantasies.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Whipping.”

 

“Y- Yes.” Frank swallowed hard.

 

“Corporal punishment?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Human toilet?”

 

“Number ones, yes. Number twos, I’m gonna have to say no.” Frank shuddered, looking at Gerard as he chuckled silently.

 

“An excellent choice. How about human furniture?”

 

“What?”

 

“If I wanted you to be my footstool while I watch television or be my coat hook? Personally I think you’d make a rather nice footstool or even a very pretty coffee table.”

 

“Did- Did you just call me pretty?” Frank scrunched up his nose as Gerard locked eyes with him, his finger tapping his bottom lip as his eyes roamed unabashedly over Frank, making the latter squirm.

 

“I did. And I stand by it. You are very pretty, boy.”

 

“Th- Thanks?” Frank felt his ears warm up and he smiled slightly, “That’s a good thing?”

 

“If you’re secure enough in your masculinity even as a homosexual then pretty is never a bad thing. Only those men who are so out of touch with their sexuality and so afraid to be labelled anything gay would have a problem with using feminine terms. You, Frank, are very pretty.”

 

“Just- Just go on with the list.” Frank waved a hand at the pages, his blush darkening drastically, “Go on. Uh- Furniture right? Okay, yeah.”

 

“Feminisation?”

 

“Dope.” Frank chuckled, folding his arms at the thought of himself dressing in a skirt or thigh highs.

 

“Cuckold?”

 

“What?”

 

“Cuckold, when used in a fetish context, describes the fetish of men who find masochistic pleasure in watching their wives have sex with other men. The man is complicit in the infidelity and often helps arrange the meetings.” Gerard explain, “In our instance it would be you who would watch me, per say.”

 

“What, have sex with someone else?” Frank scoffed again, “As if. You have a better chance of squirting Diet Yoohoo from your nostril than you have of me giving that the ‘okay’.”

 

“Diet… Yoohoo..” Gerard muttered as he scribbled it onto the contract beside the line that he had highlighted red, “Got it. Next is bondage, I take it that’s a yes.”

 

“Uh-huh.”

 

“Public humiliation?”

 

“Well I thought no public stuff?” Frank frowned, “Your image.”

 

“Well alright. Ignore that for a moment, let’s say that when I state ‘public’ I mean others in the lifestyle.”

 

“You know other people in the lifestyle?”

 

“You’ll see, boy.” Gerard’s insightful gaze landed on Frank, the latter catching the tiniest glimmer of excitement in his eyes, a gaze that made his insides knot up like a balloon animal.

 

“Then yes.”

 

“Sissy-maiding?” Gerard seemed highly amused then, grinning somewhat and in a way that Frank found wholly unnerving.

 

“And that is…?” Frank asked despite feeling like he was dreading the answer.

 

“Dressing you in in a woman’s maids costume and making you do chores and things of that nature.” Gerard chuckled and Frank bit his lip.

 

“Is it a french maid’s outfit?”

 

“I’m sure we can arrange one to fit you.”

 

“Then deal.” Frank nodded, “Lemme see some.”

 

Gerard silently handed the contract over along with the three markers that Frank took gratefully, going to the next option on the list.

 

“Roleplay, yes.” Frank striped the option in green before looking up, “Animal play, again?”

 

“Where you would dress or behave as a specific animal and I would be your carer.” Gerard stated simply and Frank grimaced lightly, streaking the option in red.

 

“B- Body wetting?”

 

“Urination, either you on yourself or me on you.”

 

“Ah.” Frank felt his ears go red as he striped it in green, “Internal holding?”

 

“Holding in your urge to pee.” Gerard explained, continuing when he noticed the confusion on Frank’s face, “Most people don’t know that holding in your urine while having sex increases your orgasm intensity because of the pressure and weight of your bladder.”

 

“I thought that was only for girls?” Frank frowned, the spike of nerves shooting through him as he could still feel Gerard’s eyes on him, scrutinising his movements with an intensity that made him swirl inside, “And- And I’m not gonna lie it’s happened before year ago if Ryan would wake me up in the morning to have sex and I’d have to pee, it would be really hard for me to get it up. But then also in saying that I also used to get pee boners, still do.”

 

“Aren’t we just a complex being, Frank?” Gerard sighed dramatically and Frank couldn’t help chuckling at that as he ran the green marker over the option

 

“Frottage?” Frank looked up, “It sounds like an old, sweaty cheese.”

 

“That’s fromage,” Gerard corrected, “French by the way. And no. Frottage is... Frottage refers to the act of rubbing body parts together for the purpose of sexual stimulation. The act of frottage usually involves two partners rubbing their genitals together, but it does not always have to involve genital contact of both partners. Or I could get you off by having you grind on the corner of this desk.”

 

Frank stared at the corner of the desk as the green marker shook violently in his hand, his mouth running dry when he looked away and striped green on the last option of the list.

 

“Oh, you like that, don’t you?” Gerard asked, his voice reaching that sneer of almost mockery if it weren’t for the sexual undertones in it, “How interesting. I’m learning a lot about you, Frank.”

 

“Yeah, yeah.” Frank frowned, “What’s next?”

 

“Next page is paraphilias.” Gerard clarified, “A condition characterized by abnormal sexual desires, typically involving extreme or dangerous activities. The be all and end all of the lifestyle.”

 

“Okay wait before we go on, I have a question.” Frank bit the end of the green marker, going back one or two pages to the initial contract, “So basically what this is, is… I have to cook for you, clean for you, drive you around, dress how you want, act how you want, say what you want at every time of the day and in exchange all I get in return is you dicking me down as hard and frequently as possible?”

 

“Well…”

 

“I’m so down.” Frank muttered, growing flustered slightly as he read over the one page about his duties before he paged forward to where he had initially been, “So damn down for this.”

 

“Oh really?” Gerard raised an eyebrow.

 

“I practically do all of that anyway minus you nailing my dick to some plywood,” Frank reached for his tea after so long, realising he’d forgotten about it, “So you might as well include it to the bat shit crazy list of things you have here.”

 

“You mean a butterfly board?”

 

Frank spit back into his cup in surprise, staring at Gerard as a humourless laugh left him, “Wait. That’s a thing?”

 

“Well it’s more scrotum than actual dick but there’s still nailing and plywood.” Gerard pointed out and Frank stared at him with a blank face, the inside of his skull had all melted like ice cream in a microwave, “What?”

 

“I just…” Frank shook his head, “On with the list. Hey, this tea’s not bad when it's cold either.”

 

“I know.” Gerard smiled, “It’s versatile like that.”

 

“Like you.” Frank chuckled as he read over the list and frowned, “So what do I do here, just pick the kinks I’m into and the ones I’m not?”

 

“Firstly, Frank,” Gerard interrupted, “Do you know what hard and soft limits are?”

 

“Uh… How crispy you want your toast with breakfast?” Frank offered up with a one-shouldered shrug, earning an eyebrow raise in return that made him cave, “Worth a shot.”

 

“Hard and soft limits can be confusing to a newcomer into the lifestyle. A hard and soft limit isn’t your yes and no, many people get that confused and that’s where the misunderstandings lay.” Gerard cleared his throat, “Your red strikes are no’s. Those are the ones that you will not do under any circumstances, right?”

 

“Yeah?” Frank looked back a page at the list of fetishes, nodding.

 

“Now that’s a hard limit for you.” Gerard remarked, “Like for example a hard limit for me personally would be  anthropophagy, eating human flesh.”

 

“I love how that’s a hard limit for you. No you’ll piss in my ear but eating slightly chewy pork is a problem.” Frank snickered, “But okay I get you. Hard limits are the no-no’s. What’s a soft limit then?”

 

“Soft limits are your maybe’s.” Gerard pointed to one that Frank had lighted in yellow, “A soft limit is something you're wary of but may try in the future. And then your greens are your straight yes answers, no problems with them at all, kind of thing. Understand?”

 

“Hard limit is no, soft limit is a maybe and a yes is a yes.” Frank repeated.

 

“Ah, my good boy.” Gerard praised, making Frank smile coyly and bite the end of the marker in his hand, looking down, “Why don’t you start on your paraphilia limits there while I make you some more tea?”

 

“Really?” Frank looked up with a frown, “I thought I did stuff for you.”

 

“I may become your Dominant but I’m still a courteous gentleman, Frank. Would you like more tea?”

 

“Please.” Frank smiled as Gerard got up, grabbing the mug as he walked out of the office, leaving Frank alone with the stack of pages, starting with the first one, “Abasiophilia: people with impaired mobility. Nope. Acucullophilia: sexual attraction to men who are circumcised. Uh… Maybe?”

 

Frank thought about it for a moment, frowning to himself at the mention of circumcision and whether or not it particularly mattered to him. He knew that Ryan had been circumcised as a baby because of his family upholding tradition and it made no difference to Frank personally.

 

“Hey uh,” Frank turned to look at Gerard as he returned with two mugs in his hands, slowly kicking the door closed with his foot, “I have a question and I’m just checking to make sure here.”

 

“Go on.” Gerard set the mugs down as he sat himself in his chair and wheeled himself closer.

 

“You’re- You’re circumcised, right?” Frank wracked his brain as he tried to remember.

 

“I am, yes. Didn’t you get a close enough look earlier?” Gerard chuckled and Frank waved him off.

 

“I just wanted to make sure, sir.” Frank smiled as he struck the line on the page in green, “I mean I’m not but I was pretty sure you were. Acomoclitic: preference for hairless genitals? Uh…”

 

“If it’s any consolation in that regard, Frank, I prefer my own genitals hair-free, if you were ‘umming’ on my behalf.” Gerard took a sip of his own tea, “I do however have a preference when it comes to my submissive’s pubic hair.”

 

“And that is?” Frank asked, suddenly worried about the current state of his balls.

 

“I’m not one for hairless, it makes me think too much of children who haven’t hit puberty and when my submissive is younger than me, as you are, that might be a problem.” Gerard straightened up in his chair, swallowing another sip, “That being said I don’t want your personal hygiene and maintenance lacking.”

 

“So like…” Frank thought for a moment, “So pubes but… Neatly trimmed, I guess.”

 

“Right on the money, boy.” Gerard smiled as Frank moved on to the next.

 

“Acro- Acro.. tomophilia: people with amputations? No. Agalmatophilia: statues, mannequins and immobility? M- Maybe. Algola- lagnia,” Frank sucked in a breath, “Pain, particularly involving an erogenous zone; differs from masochism as there is a biologically different interpretation of the sensation rather than a subjective interpretation. Maybe. Soft limit.”   
  


“Good. Good boy.” Gerard smiled, steeping his tea slowly in his hands and Frank bit his lip at the praise, trying not to let it melt him internally.

 

“Algophilia: sexual arousal from experiencing pain. Yeah… Allopellia: reaching orgasm from watching other people in sexual activities….”

 

“Problem?”

 

“I don’t know about this one.” Frank admitted, “I mean would I get off to see you fucking someone? No I wouldn’t but say, I get off watching porn.”

 

“Then it’s a soft limit, boy. A maybe.” Gerard smiled and Frank struck the line in yellow before continuing.

 

“Altocal... ciphilia: high heel fetish. Maybe,” Frank nodded, “Andromimetophilia: trans men? That’s a fetish?”

 

“A big one actually.” Gerard smiled.

 

“But how?” Frank frowned.

 

“There’s a huge fetish in the world for both genuinely transgender men and those who merely parade as such for sexual reasons.” Gerard explained, “A lot of men who didn’t start out in life that way are vastly attractive and there’s a large market in the fetish world for men with… Female genitals.”

 

“Wow. Well I mean that’s a maybe. I don’t wanna count that out cause, like… What if he’s cute y’know? Doesn’t mean I’m gonna fuck him or anything but hot is hot and hot I like.” Frank drew the line through with yellow, “Soft limit on the trans boys.”

 

Frank looked up suddenly when Gerard got up, walking over to him before he put his hands on either side of Frank’s chair and wheeled him around the desk, making the latter yelp in fright and laugh loudly, holding on to the chair as he was pushed to the other side of the desk where Gerard’s chair was.

 

“Whoa.” Frank chuckled as he pulled the contract and the markers towards him, “And that?”

 

“I want you at my side at all times.” Gerard smiled, “And I also want to see your choices as you go, if you don’t mind.”

 

“Oh uh…” Frank cleared his throat, blushing, “Sure.”

 

“And just for interest sake, boy,” Gerard looked at his assistant as he sat himself back down in his desk chair, “As my submissive, you will always be on my right side as you are now. And when walking or standing you will always be behind and one step to the right of me, are we clear?”

 

“Yes.” Frank swallowed at the tone on Gerard’s voice, “Yes, sir.”

 

“Good boy. Keep going.” Gerard took a sip of his tea as Frank sucked in a breath and grabbed a marker.

 

“Anthropo...phagolagnia: raping and then cannibalizing another person.” Frank bit his lip, “Yes.”

 

“Pardonne moi?” Gerard sputtered and Frank let out a giggle, “Don’t joke like that, boy. You’ll give me a stroke.”

 

“Whoops.” Frank grinned widely, striking red through the line, “Anthropophagy: ingesting human flesh? Definitely not. Ap- Apo…”

 

“Apotemnophilia,” Gerard urged, “being an amputee.”

 

“I like my limbs.” Frank muttered as he lined the word in red, “Asphyxiophilia: being asphyxiated or strangled… I-” Frank scowled, lighting it in green as his cheeks lit up again and he reached for his tea, taking a small sip, knowing Gerard was watching him, “Shush.”

 

“I said not a word, boy.”

 

“Drink your tea, I’m paraphilising.” Frank stated, “Autagonistophilia: being on stage or on camera? I’m down. Autassassinophilia: being in life-threatening situations? Yeah, sure. I guess I can do that.”

 

“You guess?” Gerard asked and Frank held up a finger.   
  


“A-bub-bub. Tea.” Frank pointed at Gerard’s mug nearby, making the older man chuckle as he leaned over and took a sip, miming his lips being shut, “Autoerotic asphyxiation- Oh I know this, yeah. Self-induced asphyxiation, sometimes to the point of near unconsciousness. Um… Maybe.”

 

“Hmm.”

 

“You shush.” Frank giggled, “Autogynephilia one: a biological male imagining himself as a female? No. Autogynephilia two: sexual arousal from cross-dressing? Yes. Auto-haemofetishism: bleeding oneself but does not involve ingestion of blood. Type of autovampirism. Yeah, I’m gonna say… No. Autonepi-piophilia: the image of one's self in the form of an infant? The fuck, no.”

 

“You’re doing well, by the way.” Gerard muttered softly and Frank smiled slightly, taking a sip of tea, “Still have fifteen pages to go.”

 

“Sweet baby Jesus.” Frank whispered, “Autopedophilia: the image of one's self in the form of a child. Definitely not. Autoplushophilia: the image of one's self in the form of a plush or anthropomorphized animal. Christ no. Autovampirism and vampirism: the image of one's self in the form of a vampire. Involves ingesting or seeing one's own blood. See now this is a maybe because I don’t want to ingest my own blood but dear God if you did something that felt good and I actually bleed I think I’d come in my pants.”

 

“Who says you’re wearing pants?” Gerard mused jokingly and Frank couldn’t help the tiny whimper that fell from him as his hand curled tight around the yellow marker that he used to strike through.

 

“Autozoophilia,” Frank breathed as he took in a sip of his tea, “The image of one's self in the form of an animal or anthropomorphized animal. This animal thing is working on my nerves, not gonna lie. Belonephilia: sexual arousal from use of needles. Okay, yeah.”

 

“Really?” Gerard raised an eyebrow, “Fascinating.”

 

“I’m a wonder, remember?” Frank repeated Gerard’s innocuous line from when they had slept together, smiling smugly as Gerard pursed his lips, taking Frank by the jaw and physically turning head to face the contract, the firm feel of Gerard’s fingers on him like that had Frank’s whole body keening under his clothes, “Biastophilia or raptophilia: raping a person, possibly consensual rape fantasy. Is it weird that I’m totally into that?”

 

“Not at all.”

 

“Capnolagnia: smoking? No. Cathterophilia: sexual arousal from inserting a catheter? Fuck that… Chezolagnia: masturbating while defecating. No way… Chre- Chremastis...tophilia- fuck- being robbed or held up. Maybe? I can see how the rush would get you going. Chronophilia: partners of a widely differing chronological age. Do we count as ‘partners of a widely differing chronological age’?”

 

“Well you’re twenty two now…” Gerard replied, “I’m thirty six. That’s fourteen years between us. That’s a whole young teenager’s span of lifetime.” 

 

“So…?” Frank still lined the kink in green, grinning slightly, “No wonder I liked Tom Selleck.”

 

“Oh did you?”

 

“I was more of a George Clooney man, myself.” Frank sipped his tea, “More neatly groomed, Tom is too hairy for me, I’m not into big bears.”

 

“I see. Silver foxes for you, then.” Gerard chuckled.

 

“Tangerine foxes, as it were.” Frank tapped Gerard’s head with the side of his marker before continuing, “Coprolagnia: sexual excitement derived from eating feces? I’m actually gonna be sick. No. Coprolalia: sexual excitement from dirty words? Definitely. Coprophilia: feces, also known as scat, scatophilia or fecophilia. Also known as ‘get the fuck away’. Dacryphilia: tears or crying? Maybe… I mean situationally.”

 

“Of course.”

 

“Diaper fetishism? Oh c’mon. Diapers with considerable overlap with paraphilic infantilism. Never on your life. Dendrophilia: trees. Trees? Y- Wh- Trees. No.”

 

“No big and tall oak tree getting you flustered, Frank?”

 

“Ecdyosis,” Frank stated rather loudly over Gerard’s question, “sexual arousal from stripping in front of an audience. Yeah, I’d do that.”

 

“Did you know that the formal term for a stripper is an ecdysiast?” Gerard commented as he took a sip of his own gingery orange brew.

 

“You take the fun out of things, sometimes.” Frank mumbled under his breath, “Emetophilia: vomit. No. Eproctophilia: flatulence. I- Really? Farting?”

 

“Huge market in the community actually.” Gerard chuckled, “I myself am not a fan, however. I mean yes I understand it’s natural but I don’t dare say I’d get off on it.”

 

“Oh good. Weight off my back,” Frank rolled his lips into his mouth as he struck red, “Erotic asphyxiation: asphyxia of oneself or others. Yes please. Erotophonophilia: m- murder, often of strangers, also known as dac- dac...nolagnomania. Seriously?”

 

“Where do you think sexual sadists come from?” Gerard asked back and Frank bit his lip, nodding rather stiffly.

 

“It’s a no,” Frank muttered again as he lined the word in crimson and moved on, “Exhibitionism: exposing one's genitals to unsuspecting and nonconsenting others. I used to do this in kindergarten.”

 

“I’m not surprised at all.” Gerard chuckled, “Girls or boys?”

 

“Well I never fancied the girls but I always loved their horrified reactions to my dick when I did it. Boys just laughed, it wasn’t as fun. Funnily enough now it’s the opposite, boys are horrified when I show them my dick and girls laugh.”

 

“Frank- if I may-” Gerard cleared his throat, “How many people have seen your genitals?”

 

“High school was a rough time to try and find oneself.” Frank replied cryptically and Gerard stared at him for a while, “Not as many as it sounds. Kids in gym glass, Ryan, Jamia and the doctor I guess.”

 

“Oh.” Gerard frowned, “You made it sound like you just went around showing everyone what you had to offer.”

 

“I don’t have much to brag about, not much to offer.’ Frank shrugged, striking green through ‘exhibitionism’, “So I don’t go around boasting.”

 

“You have more than enough to boast about.” Gerard replied, his face in all seriousness, “From what I can remember anyway.”

 

“You really know how to make a girl blush, Mister Way.” Frank crooned in a sultry voice, “But we have… Feederism: eating, feeding, and weight gain. Big nope. Formicophilia: being crawled on by insects, I’d rather be crawled on by Satan himself. Forniphilia: turning a human being into a piece of furniture. Yes. Frotteurism: rubbing against a non-consenting person. Totally. Galateism: sexual attraction to statues. Nien. Gerontophilia: elderly people? Not this guy, sorry. Gynemimetophilia: person sexually aroused by a female impersonator. No. Gynandromorphophilia: transsexual or transgender women… Is this now the opposite, women who were once men?”

 

“Indeed.”

 

“I’m- I- I don’t…” Frank suddenly felt awkward in his clothes, in his skin, he suddenly felt guilt for some reason that his hand itched towards the red marker on the desk. He didn’t want to strike through so impersonally, he didn’t want to just say no to every trans woman but that’s just not what he was into, he didn’t mind dressing like a woman for someone but the idea of someone doing it for him just wasn’t his cup of tea. He liked his boys like boys and he knew it, despite the guilt in his stomach, and he cringed as he drew the red line through it.

 

“Not a fan?”

 

“Please don’t.” Frank muttered, “I feel like shit for it.”

 

“You shouldn’t. Your preference is your preference and if someone has a problem with it, it’s their too bad. You don’t have to like everything and everyone, or this contract wouldn’t exist.”

 

“I guess…” Frank bit his lip, “I still feel bad. They get a hard time enough as it is and me just striking out makes me feel like the biggest dick in the world.”

 

“This isn’t about whether or not you like something in general, boy. This is about whether or not any of these will be used or done in any way to get you off, to turn you on, make you hot and bothered. You can be perfectly okay with liking and admiring transgender people without feeling guilty if they don’t do anything for you. And the same with you, you won’t be everyone’s cup of tea for sure, but you’re someone’s and that’s the person that matters, no one else.”

 

“Am I your cup of tea?” Frank leaned in, the goofy smile wide on his pierced lips as he looked up at Gerard from under his lashes.

 

“My boy, if you weren’t, we wouldn’t be doing this and I wouldn’t have spent five grand to buy pants that hug that ass of yours in the best way possible for me to look at all day,” Gerard replied nonchalantly as Frank’s jaw practically dropped to the floor, “Get on with your list boy.”

 

“My-”

 

“List.” Gerard urged, tapping the pages and Frank slowly tore his gaze from his boss, scowling at him as a huge explosion of sheer smugness and vanity shot off inside of him like fireworks.

 

“Harpaxophilia: arousal from being robbed. I think not. Hedralingus: licking someone’s a- anus,” Frank couldn’t help the giggle that came forth then, making him bite on his index finger as he striped it green, “Fuck yeah, hedralingus- also called rimming. Hematolagnia: drinking or looking at blood. Maybe. Heterophilia: idealization of heterosexuality and/or people who are ‘straight-acting’. especially by non-heterosexual people. What the fuck, no. Homeovestism: wearing clothing emblematic of one's own sex. Alright, yeah.”

 

“All for the rimming, I see.” Gerard smiled and Frank let out the smallest whimper at the idea, “Like it?”

 

“Well…” Frank trailed off, blushing, “I like the idea of it.”

 

“Pardon?”

 

“I’ve never… Done it.”

 

“At all? Not yourself or to your partner?” Gerard seemed astounded by that, his eyes widening drastically as Frank shrunk in his seat, “What in God’s name did you do for six years.”

 

“Not rimming, that I can tell you.”

 

“Hang on, just tell me quickly, so I can gauge. What did you do?”

 

“Well Ryan was insistent on missionary every time. He was on top every few times maybe once every two months? Sex was always on Tuesdays- date night and always after dinner on my side of the bed with the lights off. All clothes off. No blowjobs because he didn’t think it was hygienic, he didn’t like the feel of them from my side, handjobs were a maybe if the time was right, rimming was a definite no and I got doggy style on my birthdays or when he was drunk which was my birthdays to deal with the idea of being railed from behind.”

 

“I…” Gerard stared at Frank in disbelief, his hand rubbing slowly over his mouth as he leaned his elbow on the armrest of his chair, “Then tell me, the most adventurous sex you’ve had was...?”

 

“School bathroom in senior year. He gave me a handjob at lunch time. Out of school I’d have to say the time we fucked watching a movie on the sofa. It was adventurous because it was a Friday night and he instigated. Best time of my life really.” Frank sighed, “Don’t you dare judge me.”

 

“How he didn’t like a blowjob from you astounds me.” Gerard whispered and Frank grinned proudly, blushing at the random praise from Gerard, “I’m being all the more serious, boy. That mouth of yours…”

 

“I-” Frank waved his hand at Gerard as he turned to the contract again, clearing his throat, “Homilophilia: sexual arousal from hearing sermons. Sermons, though? Like God gets you off?”

 

“Sexuoerotic arousal and pleasure from hearing or giving sermons and speeches.” Gerard clarified and Frank shook his head, striking it yellow, “Keeping that in mind.”

 

“Hoplophilia: firearms, guns. Nope. Hybristophilia: criminals, particularly for cruel or outrageous crimes. Nah. Hypophilia: breath play wherein sexual pleasure is derived from limiting the intake of oxygen. Usually accomplished by temporary choking. Very Dangerous. Oh, fuck yeah. Iantronudia:  sexual arousal from exposing oneself to a medical doctor. Definitely not. Iconolagny: sexual arousal from statues of nude people, can’t say so. Infantophilia,” Frank sighed out, pinching the bridge of his nose before he continued, “Pedophilia with a focus on children less than five years old- five? That’s… Five.”

 

“It is what it is, Frank. The lifestyle and it’s fetishes aren’t for the faint of heart.” Gerard gave Frank a reassuring squeeze on the knee, “Keep going.”

 

“Right,” Frank frowned at the list, “Kleptophilia: stealing, also known as kleptolagnia. No. Klismaphilia: e- enemas, arousal and enjoyment in receiving, administering, or both. Hell no.”

 

“So solid objects only, no liquids?” Gerard mused and Frank fumed silently at his boss’ joke, choosing to ignore it.

 

“Knismolagnia: sexual arousal from tickling? Maybe. Liquidophilia: genitals in liquids? Yeah, alright. Macrophilia: giant beings, the imagined growth of beings. No, sorry. Macrogenitalism: sexual arousal from outsized genitals? What? No, what? Like just a big dick or like, bull’s balls?”

 

“The latter.”

 

“Ew.” Frank shuddered, taking a large gulp of his now lukewarm tea, swallowing with a hissed-breath, “Maschalagnia: armpits? No thank you. Masochism: suffering or humiliation, being beaten, bound or otherwise abused… Well if that ain’t me. Checking those boxes a million times over. Mechanophilia: cars or other machines also ‘mechaphilia’. No. Melolagnia: music? Maybe. Merinthophilia: sexual arousal from bondage? Sign me the fuck up. Metrophilia: poetry. No. Morphophilia: particular body shapes or sizes? Yes. Mucophilia: mucus?” Frank gagged suddenly at the last one, shuddering as he lined the word twice in red, his lips pulled in a grimace.

 

“This is good, you’re about halfway with this part.” Gerard smiled.

 

“A few more than then I really think I need a break.” Frank muttered, squirming in his chair.

 

“We can go and get lunch if you like.” Gerard smiled, “There’s a place around the corner.”

 

“Alright.” Frank stifled a yawn, “Mysophilia: dirtiness, soiled or decaying things? No. Narratophilia: Obscene words. Oh hell yes.”

 

“I can tell.” Gerard murmured softly and Frank shook his words off quickly, trying not to act like it got to him, “Nasophilia: noses? Nope. Necrophilia: corpses? Gross as fuck. Objectophilia: Specific inanimate objects. Yes. Oculolinctus: licking the- licking the eyeballs? What the hell?”

 

“Oh yes.” Gerard replied, “That’s a thing.”

  
“Oculophilia: eyes and activities directly relating to and/or involving the eyes. Voyeurism does not meet classification for this term. Then no. Odax...elangnia: sexual arousal from biting. For sure. Odontophilia: a tooth fetish. Tooth? Like? Teeth get you horny? Yeah, not me.”

 

“Frank?”

 

“Yes, sir?” Frank looked beside him at his boss, who was staring back with an unreadable expression, “Sir?”

 

“Nothing, I just wanted to see your face. Continue.” Gerard gestured to the contract and Frank did a small double take looking at Gerard and the pages, frowning slightly before he looked down, blush tinting his face yet again.

 

“Ophidiophilia: sexual arousal from snakes? Not from this guy. Olfactophilia: smells and odors emanating from the body, especially the sexual areas. Yes. Omorashi: arousal from having a full bladder and/or wetting oneself, or from seeing someone else experiencing a full bladder and/or wetting themselves? Yes. Osphresiolagnia: sexual arousal from foul smells? Definitely not. Paraphilic infantilism: D- No. Y’know I’m not even gonna read it. No.” Frank scowled at the page, hearing Gerard chuckle beside him.

 

“It really bugs you, boy?”

 

“It does.” Frank muttered, “Doesn’t it bug you?”

 

“Not particularly but I find that in that part of the lifestyle, when being a carer and not as much of a Master or Dominant, it helps to be a lot softer, a lot less stern and cold as I am. Yes the same rules apply but you’re dealing with a person who goes into the headspace of a child and dealing with that is something special. I don’t want to have that on me, I prefer my submissives adult and able to think for themselves like you do. I don’t think I’d have the patience for that and I have waited three hours for an orgasm.”

 

“P- Partialism,” Frank sputtered softly, ”Sp- Specific, non-genital body parts. Yes. Pedophilia:- No. Peodeiktophilia: exposing one's penis. Sure. Pedovestism: dressing like a child? No. Phallophilia: f- fetish for large oh… L- Large penises.”

 

“Well, Frank?”

 

“You- You’re just…” Frank struck it green with a glare, “Not helping.”

 

“I’m taking that green line as a compliment.”

 

“Podophilia: feet? Yes. Definitely. Pictophilia: pornography or erotic art, particularly pictures. My bible, yes. Piquerism: piercing the flesh of another person, most commonly by stabbing or cutting the body with sharp objects… Maybe.”

 

“Feet, huh?”

 

“I love feet.” Frank admitted, “I know a lot of people don’t but oh my god, a nice pair of feet just...”

 

“I’ll keep that in advisement.” Gerard smiled, “Go on, you’re doing intrinsically well, boy.”

 

“Plushophilia: stuffed toy animals. Can’t say I have that. Red. Pygmalianism: sex with statues or inanimate objects. Red. Pygophilemania: sexual arousal from kissing butt cheeks.” Frank couldn’t help giggling at that, snickering like a child for some reason as Gerard looked at him, “Sorry I- Green. Fuck it. Pygophilia: buttocks, as in a highly atypical sexual interest focused on the buttocks. Green and green and green. Pyrophilia: fire? No. Sadism: inflicting pain on others? Well I wouldn’t be opposed to it at all, I’ve never tried it but… Eh, green. Salirophilia: soiling or dirtying others? Yellow. Depends on the dirt. Sexual fetishism? Obviously green. Somnophilia: sleeping or unconscious people? Yellow.”

 

“Some interesting choices you’re making. I’m glad you’re not just sticking to the safe stuff. You’re less vanilla than I thought.”

 

Frank stared at him then, nodding slowly despite not quite understanding exactly what the word meant entirely. And then a thought popped into his head, a sudden thought that made him burst out in a fit of laughter, surprising Gerard and making him jump in his seat.

 

“I- I’m more vanilla than you think,” Frank trailed off in a chuckle, the grin never leaving his face, “Vanilla… Ice.”

 

“I beg your pardon?” Gerard stared at his assistant, who took on a thoughtful expression and leaned forward.

 

“Y’know as vanilla as I am, I do the extreme.”

 

“You what?”

 

“I do the extreme, sometimes I rock the mic like a vandal… Hell, I even light up the stage and wax the chumps like a candle.” Frank replied matter-of-factly as Gerard looked him over before slowly burying his face in his hands, making the latter giggle.

 

“You baffle me.” Gerard stated, his voice muffled by his hands, “You picked now of all moments to nonchalantly somewhat paraphrase Vanilla Ice?”

 

“There is never a wrong time to Ice, Ice, Baby.” Frank picked up his tea and took a sip, “I wanna take a break now, I’m starving.”

 

“What would you like to do? We could cook MC’s like a pound of bacon or we could have some souped up tempo?” Gerard asked nonchalantly and Frank’s mouth opened in awe, looking at his boss in complete surprise, “I know my music, thank you.”

 

“I swear to God, I’m gonna hump your leg.”

 

“Lunch first, boy.”

 

“Right…” Frank sighed out dramatically, “We’re gonna finish this so we can go out?”

 

“It would be a good idea.” Gerard smiled warmly, “Go on.”

 

“We’re at…” Frank glanced at the contract, the last line in yellow, “Sophophilia: learning. Yeah, maybe.”

 

“Good. Keep going.”

 

“Sthenolagnia: muscles and displays of strength? Nah, doesn’t do anything for me. Red. Next is… Stigmatophilia: body piercings and tattoos. Well, I mean… Green.” Frank chuckled, “Is that an obvious one?”

 

“I have to ask though, considering you did mark it green, you’re obviously physically into but but if I were to be your Dominant, does it bug you that I don’t have any body modifications of my own?”

 

“Wh-? No, of course not. Ryan didn’t have anything either and I didn’t see him in any lesser light than I would have if he looked like me.”

 

“Oh good. I just need to check.” Gerard waved a hand dismissively, “Keep on going, boy.”

 

“Symphorophilia: witnessing or staging disasters such as car accidents? Whoa… This is like that movie with that guy- uh-... James? James Spader, right? They do shit like that, I swear.”

 

“Crash.” Gerard nodded, “1996, James Spader and Deborah Kara Unger. Good film.”

 

“Of course you’d know.” Frank snickered, “Kinky old perv. But no, red for that. Next! Telephone scatologia: obscene phone calls, particularly to strangers; also known as telephonicophilia? Not for me. Red. Teratophilia: deformed or monstrous people. I don’t like that they use that word for them. That’s awful.”

 

“This wasn’t my wording, boy. This is what my attorney printed for me with the usage of many factors and sources. Direct citation.”

 

“Direct citation is cruel.” Frank sighed, scratching it through in red, “Timophilia: sexual arousal from wealth. Well then. Uh… I mean money is money but if that money can buy me a pool filled with dildos then it gets me off. So I’m gonna say maybe. Yellow. Toucherism: touching an unsuspecting, non-consenting person with the hand. Green. Next. Toxophilia: archery. Archery? What is this, Hunger Games?”

 

“Some people like what they like, boy. Some person with toxophilia may think it’s weird that you’re into pornography or bondage.”

 

“I suppose…” Frank bit his lip, feeling guilty from Gerard’s look of consternation, “Last few. Okay. I can do this. Right. Transvestic fetishism: wearing clothes associated with the opposite sex, also known as transvestism. Green. Transvestophilia: a transsexual partner, not to be confused with transgender. Red. Trichophilia: hair. Oh god yes. But hair hair, not body hair.  Troilism: cuckoldism, watching one's partner have sex with someone else, possibly without the third party's knowledge. Fuck no. Reddy, red, red. Next. Urolagnia: urination, particularly in public, on others, and/or being urinated on. Also referred to as ‘water sports’. Green.”

 

“You seem particularly interested in that.” Gerard commented, leaning in his chair towards Frank, resting his arm on the rest, chin in his hand with his ring finger slowly stroking his bottom lip, the action mesmerising to say the least.

 

“Vor- Vorarephilia,” Frank whispered before repeating himself in a decibel louder and higher, clearing his throat, “The idea of one person or creature eating or being eaten by another; usually swallowed whole, in one piece, also known as vore. Fuck no. Voyeurism: watching others while naked or having sex, generally without their knowledge; also known as scopophilia or coptophilia? Yes, green. Wet and messy fetishism: messy situations, including, but not limited to, being pied, gunged or covered in mud. Oh god, my anxiety. No. No, no, no.”

 

“Mess gives you anxiety?” Gerard queried with a raised eyebrow and Frank nodded.

 

“Not… Not clutter, I’m okay with clutter and untidiness but actual messes like food or mud or like… Mess. I can’t- I just- I can’t. It-”

 

“Hey, Frank.” Gerard put his hand on the latter’s carefully, stroking it slowly, instantly making Frank stop speaking, his eyes darting down to their hands as he trembled a fraction, “It’s alright. You’re alright. No one is making you do anything here that you’re uncomfortable with. If mess is a hard limit, there won’t be any mess whatsoever, okay?”

 

“You swear?” Frank looked up at Gerard with earnest, with hope and Gerard smiled, giving his hand a squeeze, he gesture instantly calming him somewhat greater, “O- Okay.”

 

“Good boy.” Gerard leaned in slowly, his lips pressed against the side of Frank’s head in a familiar comforted gesture. Frank closed his eyes, taking in a relatively shaky breath, “There we go.”

 

“Yeah I…” Frank swallowed, “I’m good.”

 

“You sure?”

 

“I’ll be alright.” Frank nodded, “What’s next?”

 

“Zelophilia,” Gerard replied in a slightly softer tone, taking the marker from Frank’s shaky hand, “Sexual arousal from jealousy. Which I have already seen in you.”

 

“Yeah, green.” Frank nodded as he tried to steady his heart rate, cursing himself internally, “Next?”

 

“Zoophilia: animals,” Gerard stated before picking up the red marker, “I’m assuming from your previous behaviour.”

 

“Definitely.”

 

“The last one is an unfortunate one. Zoosadism: inflicting pain on or seeing animals in pain.” Gerard stated and Frank’s heart rate shot up at the thought and he clutched the desk, not quite finished with the rivulets of anxiety that had jumped into his system, already worked up by the idea of mess, the idea of hurting an animal in general made him sick to his core. 

 

“No. No. Red. No.” Frank shook his head vehemently, “I- I don’t-”

 

Frank got up from the chair, his body being still was just too much, his anxiety made his fidgeting kick into hyperdrive and he had to move, he had to pace or pick or jump or anything to get rid of what felt like the physical crawling of tiny insects in his veins. He shook his hands at his sides as he paced, breathing rapidly.

 

His head was swimming, his eyes unfocused from everything around him when he felt a strong but reassuring pair of hands on his upper arms, holding him still before his face was buried in a white cotton shirt, a hand in the back of his hair.

 

Frank let out a whimper, melting against Gerard’s body, against the warmth and sheer safety that was radiating off of the older man.

 

“It’s okay, Frank. I’ve got you.”


	32. Chapter 29: Accidentally Unearthed in the Depths of the Internet

For a start, Frank found this all a little bit harder than it actually looked.

 

When Gerard had told him how it would be, he had honestly assumed that this would be the easiest part that he would have to adjust to. Walking on his right, always a step behind. It really seemed like a walk in the park. The kind of walk where he would always be one step behind Gerard like he had been told, but when he actually had to do it, Frank found himself struggling with it.

 

It had been easy leaving the office once he had calmed down enough to consider leaving, because it was only a short distance from where they had been to the car outside, but once out of the car and heading to where they were going to be eating, that was when Frank found himself feeling like he hadn’t walked before. Stumbling over his own two feet, he hated how he hadn’t picked this up as quickly as he thought he would.

 

Walking exactly one step behind Gerard was proving to be harder than first imagined. Frank found himself concentrating on walking more than he usually would. Keeping his eyes down, he tried to focus on his steps, paying more attention to his own footing. Gerard walked so much more confidently than he did. Frank found it a little unnerving, especially when he didn’t want to make Gerard annoyed, thinking that he was unable to follow such a simple request.

 

He could do this, it was just a matter of adjusting. That was all. Frank kept telling himself that as he realised he was practically lined up with Gerard, mentally cursing before he slowed down again to stay behind him.

 

“Are you okay there, boy?” Frank heard the question, making him snap his head up, seeing Gerard looking over his shoulder at him.

 

“M’good, sir.” Frank nodded, looking back down, paying close attention to his feet, listening to the sound of Gerard walking on the pavement, trying to match up with his steps.

 

Frank didn't want Gerard to notice that he was struggling. What if he had second thoughts about all of this just because Frank couldn't simply walk how he was supposed to. He wanted to believe that he wasn't getting worked up over this, but internally he was. Inside of his head, Frank found himself worrying about this more than he thought he ever would.

 

Turning a corner, Frank found himself tripping a little, blushing at how ridiculous he probably looked. Nobody was looking at him, Gerard wasn't either, thank god, but he swore that so many eyes were on him, wondering what was wrong with him when he held out his arms briefly, feeling like he was going to fall ass over head any moment now if he didn't get to grips with this.

 

“I seem to think that you are completely over thinking this whole walking one step behind me part of the relationship.” Gerard commented without even looking back at Frank. His cheeks went hot, realising that Gerard was onto him. Aware of how he was trying his best to do what his newly appointed Master had told him. Frank went to respond, but thought against it because Gerard hadn't actually given him permission to talk.

 

At least Frank had a good understanding on that part of the contract.

 

“You don't have to literally walk one step behind me, boy” Gerard continued, finally looking back at Frank, his gaze softer than Frank had expected. He thought that he would have been annoyed at him. He assumed that he would have got in trouble over this, but Gerard seemed so at ease with all of this, “It's just a general idea. As long as you are close behind then you really don't need to worry too much about how many steps are between yourself and I.”

 

“Oh,” Frank breathed out, feeling himself relax almost instantly. He had gotten so tense over the idea of walking exactly one step behind Gerard that now he felt like a weight had been listed from himself, “Thank you sir?”

 

“You're most certainly welcome,” Gerard responded, “I don't want you over complicating something as simple as this. I know you can do this, rather well as a matter of fact...you just need to not think about this so literally. Now, another point, it is polite and courteous for the sub to hold doors open for their Master.”

 

Frank saw where they were once Gerard had spoken. Seeing the restaurant, he stepped ahead of Gerard going for the door, holding it open for him while he bowed his head down.

 

“Thank you, boy,” Gerard spoke, taking a step into the restaurant before Frank followed behind him like he was supposed to, a little more relaxed this time before Gerard spoke again, “You will get the hang of this, I'm sure of it.”

 

“Of course sir.” Frank nodded, the feeling of wanting to only please Gerard taking over, thanks to what he had already read in the first part of the contract.

 

“Now, once we are seated, it is also for you to pull my chair out for me, wait for me to be seated before you take your own seat. At what side?”

 

“The right,” Frank answered, knowing full well that Gerard was testing him to make sure he had got this, “Always the right.”

 

“Good boy.” Gerard smiled, his praise affecting Frank more than he thought it would while they waited to be seated. Now that this was actually happening, his words meant a considerable amount more than it had done when he first got the job. The meaning behind it was greater than the times that Gerard had praised him for doing a good job. The hidden meaning behind it warming Frank through.

 

When a waiter guided them over to a table, Frank took it upon himself to follow through with what Gerard had told him. Going over to the left chair, he pulled it out, holding onto the back of the seat while Gerard sat. He pushed it in, making sure that Gerard was comfortable and happy with what he had done before he went to sit in the chair to his right, holding his hands in his lap once he too was seated.

 

Frank watched as Gerard took a menu from the waiter. Naturally he thought about taking one too when the waiter held one out for him, but he remembered. He may have gotten a little worked up about walking properly behind Gerard, but at least he knew what to do right now, shaking his head at the waiter.

 

Gerard didn’t bat an eyelid at Frank refusing a menu. He opened his own, asking for a few minutes to decide, looking over the choices he had in front of him.

 

“You're doing well, boy.” Gerard said, not taking his eyes away from the menu.

 

“Thank you, sir,” Frank nodded his head, “I am trying.”

 

“It’s not so much about trying,” Gerard commented, still looking over the menu while he spoke, “I completely understand that this is an adjustment for you, but you are doing well.”

 

Frank smiled at that, feeling the need to thank Gerard again, but he held back when their waiter came back over, asking what they wanted to drink.

 

“I'd like two iced teas please.” Gerard ordered. Frank watched the waiter while he wrote it down.

 

“And for you, sir?” The waiter asked, looking at Frank, making him stall in his mind because clearly this guy had no idea that Gerard had just ordered for him.

 

Frank opened his mouth, going to say that one of the drinks was for him, but Gerard beat him to it, “Those drinks are for us. We just need a few more minutes before we order food, thank you.”

 

Frank shut his mouth then, feeling thankful that Gerard had covered it for him. He had a funny feeling that if he answered then his cheeks would have heated up, like he was giving away why Gerard had gone and ordered his drink for him, even though it was nowhere near obvious.

 

“So,” Gerard started up when the waiter went away again, looking at Frank briefly before he set his menu down on the table, “Since we are taking a break from the contract, I want to give you this opportunity to ask me anything that you feel you want to know. I know that what you are doing is a lot to take in, so this is a good time to question anything you don't understand or want to know more about.”

 

“Okay,” Frank replied, so many questions already popping into his head. This was such a big step he was taking, he didn't want to feel out of his depth before he carried on with the contract, “I do have some questions.”

 

“Then don't hesitate to ask. You are talking to someone who actually knows what he is talking about with all of this.”

 

“How does someone even get into this?” Frank shot his first question out quicker than he thought he would. His main thought being that he couldn't even begin to process how someone would stumble on this lifestyle and figure out that it was something that they were into, “I guess you don't just wake up one day and realise that you are into all things kinky. There has to be a point when you find it and realise that this is something that you are into.”

 

“That’s a good question,” Gerard noted, “It’s not the same for everyone. Each individual who decides that this is a lifestyle for them finds it in different ways. Some may discover it through pornography, not meaning to find it but then they realise that it is something they could be into. They search more and then that is when they find out that they want in on what they once accidentally unearthed in the depths of the internet.”

 

“Like one time when I accidentally stumbled on some stuff that probably would have turned Ryan’s hair white.” Frank chuckled softly to himself.

 

“But it interested you?”  
  
“Well yeah,” Frank shrugged. He wouldn’t have been here otherwise if none of this interested him, “But it wasn’t exactly like I could act on it. Not with who I was with.”   
  
“You see-” Gerard started, only stopping when their waiter appeared at the side of their table, holding onto a tray, placing their drinks on the table, asking if they were ready to order, “Yes, we are. I will have the bacon and cheese croissant and can we also get a salad wrap, please.”

 

Frank remained silent, knowing full well that one of the things that Gerard had ordered was for him. He took hold of his drink, sipping on, waiting patiently for the waiter to leave so they could continue talking.

 

“Now, where was I,” Gerard turned his attention back to what they had been talking about before their waiter interrupted them, “Ah, yes, from what you have told me about Ryan, he was not one for change.”  
  
“Definitely not.” Frank shook his head.

 

“So you boy, I can tell that you were stifled. You had discovered something that you were interested in, but being with who you were with, there was no way you would ever have been able to divulge your interest.” Gerard spoke fluidly, leaving Frank nodding, looking down at his own lap because talking like this had him thinking about how his past relationship had been so stale. How could he have let it go on for so long, being stifled to the point that Frank hadn’t even realised that half of the stuff he came upon in his late night internet searches would be things that he wanted to try. It was like he had been blinkered by Ryan. Steered away from anything that would have made him happy. Anything that was against what Ryan had wanted.

 

“This is one of the other ways that people get into this lifestyle,” Gerard carried on after drinking some of his iced tea, “Just like yourself dear boy, you found someone who was already a part of it all.”

 

Frank blushed at that, trying to hide his emotions when he felt a hand on his thigh under the table. Gerard giving it a squeeze before he brought it back up and rested his chin on his hands.

 

“If someone is interested then they can go out of their way to find other people in the lifestyle. They look to learn and become a part of it. Sometimes finding someone to be a submissive to, or learn to become someone's master. It’s all about finding the right people though because unfortunately there are some people out there who do practice it wrong.”

 

“Good job I found you then.” Frank commented, remembering what he had read in the small segment of contract he had already gone through. The consequences he had read if it wasn’t done correctly.

 

“Yes, I am one of the few who have complete knowledge and full understanding on how to do this. I can assure you that you are in good hands, even if these hands will be used to punish sometimes.”

 

Frank swallowed hard at that, trying not to look at Gerard's hands. The ideas that went through Franks mind right then, it made his stomach want to pole vault over his diaphragm, but he remained calm, choosing to drink some more of his iced tea in an attempt to divert Gerard's attention from how he had reacted to what had been said.

 

“Then there are people who find out about it all through research,” Gerard continued, not paying attention to the way Frank had looked because of what he had casually said, “Articles on the internet. Finding out about it in books. There are so many different ways that people get into the lifestyle. I feel we could have a fully in depth conversation about this for quite some time, but I won’t bore you with all of that.”

 

“How did you get into it?” Frank asked, so curious about how Gerard had gotten into it all in the first place. Yes, he practically screamed Master just from his demeanour, but Frank wondered if it had always been that way. Had this been something that Gerard was like before he even realised that he wanted in on the lifestyle? Or was it something that he delved into, only being who he was because that was what he wanted to be from the moment he figured out that he was interested in it.

 

“I was in a relationship when I wasn’t much older than yourself,” Gerard started, making Frank feel better about his question. He hoped that he hadn’t overstepped the line, asking something so personal, but then again, there couldn’t have been anything that was too personal between them now. Especially after what they had done. What they were going to be doing, “My then boyfriend learnt about the lifestyle and told me about it. He was keen to give it a try. I was more than willing to do it for him because we were in a long term relationship. He liked the idea of submitting so naturally I had to learn how to be who I am today.”

 

“And you became interested?”  
  
“Clearly,” Gerard chuckled dryly, “My boy, if I wasn’t interested in it do you think we would be sat here right now talking about this?”

 

Frank wondered about that, remembering one thing that Gerard had told him earlier in the office that made him pipe up, “Pretty sure we would, especially after you said how you would have swept me up before any of this happened if it were just a relationship.”

 

“Very true,” Gerard nodded, impressed by Franks recollection, “You’re a good listener.”

 

“One of my many amazing qualities.” Frank smiled proudly at Gerard before sipping on his drink.

 

“I’m sure you have many qualities that I am yet to discover,” Gerard replied swiftly, making Frank's insides twist when he looked at him, “But now is not the time to be getting into that area. Especially when you haven’t finished your contract. Plus, I’m sure you have more questions that you want to ask?”

 

“Yeah...” Frank nodded, going to ask another one before yet again their waiter appeared. Frank went quiet when the waiter stated the food, watching Gerard state which one was whos. By the time the wrap was in front of Frank, he realised just how hungry he was, barely able to wait for the waiter to say _enjoy your meal_ before he started. Picking up half of the wrap, Frank took a bite, completely unaware of the fact that Gerard had an eye on him, watching him with a raised eyebrow.

 

“Wha?” Frank said thickly through a mouthful of food, panicking because he had no idea that he had done something wrong.

 

“When your Master gets you something like food, it is normal for you to ask if you can begin. Also, you musn’t forget to thank him as well.” Gerard explained briefly, making Frank drop his food back onto his plate, wiping his mouth on his napkin while his cheeks went red.

 

“I’m so sorry,” Frank apologised quickly, realising how he had fucked up already, “I didn’t mean to.”

 

“It’s okay. You’re still learning,” Gerard waved the mistake off, “Now, what do you say?”

 

“Can I begin sir?” Frank asked straight away.

 

“Of course. Anything else?”  
  
“Thank you, sir.”

 

“Good boy,” Gerard smiled before going to start his own food, picking up his napkin, placing it on his lap before going for his cutlery, “I believe you were going to ask me something more?”

 

“Yeah,” Frank remembered, wiping his mouth on his napkin, trying to remember what he wanted to ask Gerard next, “One thing I wondered,” Frank started, especially curious about what he was about to ask because of where they both were right now, “How does this all work when we are out in public?”

 

“When we are out together, you will be my assistant,” Gerard stated clearly, making Frank frown because he really hadn’t expected that kind of response, which he went and noticed, “Don’t look so confused. The reason I say that is because, well, there isn’t really any other way we can be seen out together. What with my status and what I do, it will be nigh on impossible for us to be seen out together in that way. Plus, the age gap. People could easily get suspicious, jump to conclusions over the idea of a twenty year old and a thirty something spending time together.”

 

“Oh...okay.” Frank understood once Gerard had explained. It made sense, what with who he was and the power he had. If they were seen out in any way other than Frank working for his boss, then yes, people may have over thought who they were to each other. Not that it should have mattered, but it really did and Frank completely understood.

 

“You will still keep up with things while with me though,” Gerard continued, pausing on his lunch for a moment, “Walking one step behind, always being on my right, only speaking when you are spoken to. You must always be on your best behaviour.”

 

Frank nodded at that. Even if they couldn’t be open about it, he still had to do what Gerard told him to do. That wouldn’t have been suspicious. People could just assume that Frank was overly polite and there was nothing at all going on between his boss and himself.

 

“Plus you won’t always be able to wear your collar,” Gerard carried on, reminding Frank of the way that he had reacted earlier when he had said that he would own him. That same feeling residing inside of Frank while he attempted to eat, hiding it all while he chewed slowly on his lunch, “Yes, you will be given an alternative piece of jewellery to wear when the collar isn’t possible, but that doesn’t mean you can be disobedient. You will still be who you are to me and I expect you to behave.”

 

“I will sir.” Frank reassured him.

 

“You will need to be professional at all times but don’t forget who you belong to.” Gerard finished, cutting up his lunch before eating more. Frank just sat there, reeling from his words. Having taken everything on board, he still hung onto the last few words Gerard had said to him. Don’t forget who you belong to. The six words that made his stomach twist like it was knotting up. The idea of being owned by a person. Being owned by Gerard who could do whatever he wanted to him, with him, however he saw fit. Frank took another bite out of his lunch before having some of his drink, watching Gerard from the corner of his eyes while he processed that fact that he was now Gerard's. His Master's. A shiver ran down Frank's spine when he thought about it all.

 

“So how will it all work in the office?” Frank had to ask, seeing as Gerard had gone and brought up how he would still present himself as his assistant. He wondered if it would be a very similar thing, if not the same as it was at work now, just with the added bonus of getting spanked and fucked every now and again.

 

“Again, you are my assistant,” Gerard told Frank, “You will still behave accordingly...but if I say I need to see you then you drop what you are doing. Doesn’t matter what you are doing, you listen and you obey.”  
  
“How will I know which way you will want to see me?” Frank queried, finishing off half of his lunch already, “I might think that you want to see me for _reasons_ when in fact you will probably only want to talk to me about some email or something work related.”   
  
“You will know, don’t you worry, boy,” Gerard reassured Frank before he popped a piece of his lunch into his mouth, “There are ways that I will be able to tell you why I need to see you.”

 

“How so?”  
  
“Hand signals that I know and only you will know the meaning of,” Gerard stated rather simply, “If I were to do this…” Gerard said, crossing over his index fingers, “Do you think you would be able to tell me what it might mean?”

 

“No idea.” Frank shook his head.

 

“It means silence. There are others, you will learn them all so if I ever need you while we are somewhere where I cannot openly tell you, you will understand what I mean.”

 

“Okay.” Frank shook his head, feeling somewhat overwhelmed by all this information he was being given, but he was so sure of himself. He could do this, it was just a matter of getting to grips with it.

 

“I believe that secrecy about the our relationship and the nature of it go hand in hand with all of this. You know who I am, what I am and how my reputation could be affected if anyone were to find out about who you are to me.” Gerard carried on, covering one of the things that Frank had already thought about asking.

 

“So no one must know about this?”  
  
“Precisely,” Gerard nodded, “To me, you are what you are, you signed the contract already so we know that, but to anyone else, you are nothing more than my assistant. It could be highly damaging to my cause if anyone were to find out about the lifestyle I am in and the fact that you, who is in fact one of my employees, are involved with me in that way.”

 

“People are so judgemental,” Frank sighed, hating how it had to be this way. It wasn’t exactly like he wanted to shout from a rooftop that he was now Gerard's, in a literal sense and in the contractual sense that he had agreed to, but still, he hated how some people would see what they were and who they were to each other so wrong. How could it be wrong if this was both what they wanted, “If people know that this lifestyle exists then why is it such a bad thing?”  


“Because people don’t take into consideration the fact that there are people who practise it safely. They assume that we are all the same, twisted people who get a kick out of abusing, thinking that there must be something wrong with us if we get pleasure from it all,” Gerard talked confidently, even though there was an edge of annoyance to his voice, “Articles have been published, claiming that the lifestyle is romanticising the idea of abuse, drawing on it because of some of the things that it entails. They also claim that it is a shameful and rarely curable pathology that afflicts those who cannot experience love and intimacy. If anything, I believe that it is extremely intimate, especially if you find someone who is willing to give themselves to you in that way.”

 

“Like I have done?”  
  
“Exactly,” Gerard spoke, taking a bite of his lunch before he continued, “And it’s not just that, people jump to the conclusion that there must be something wrong with a person if they feel that this is the life for them. They assume it is dangerous and completely threatening to their traditional views on love.”   
  
Hearing that word made Frank shudder on the inside. The idea of love so soon after Ryan, it scared him. But this was different. It was completely different from the boring normal he had been used to with Ryan. Maybe that was why he wasn’t running away from Gerard, swearing that he wouldn’t get involved. More interested in what Gerard had to offer because it was so far from what he had been used to. Completely different and far more exciting than the old vanilla life he had.

 

“So this is why it must remain a secret,” Gerard told Frank simply, “It’s not just to protect me, but also to protect yourself too. You are stepping into a world where people would happily look down their noses at you because of your sexual preferences. It’s why most people hide the fact that they think of BDSM as a normal and healthy expression of sexuality. Keep it behind closed doors, only talking about it inside the community because there, we won’t be judged and people won’t assume that we are inherently abusive.”

 

“Fuck,” Frank cursed under his breath, not realising fully why this had to remain a secret. He assumed the first part, because of who Gerard was in the world. That made perfect sense because of his job and how people saw him as a powerful figure who was trying to change the world for the better. But the rest of it, Frank had never even let the thought of it all cross his mind. Yes, the book Gerard had explained to him had opened up his eyes to the horrors before it had all started, but Frank would never have thought of Gerard in that way. Abusive, no, definitely not. He was Dominant for sure, Frank knew that even before he knew that he was that in a literal sense, but he never would have thought of him to be _that_ kind of person. Frank felt sick about the idea of people thinking that way about them just because they did things differently. Got off differently. Lived their lives completely differently. It wasn’t their business to pry and judge, but clearly from the way Gerard had spoken and was looking while he finished off his lunch, this wasn’t something he was taking lightly, “People actually think like that?”

 

“Of course they do,” Gerard nodded, “People are easy to jump to conclusions over matters that they don’t fully understand. They would rather do that than learn about it because learning about something that is so far from what they are used to isn’t what they want to do. Just assuming that someone is abusive to another person is the easiest thing. I may practise it all properly, but I can assure you that if people knew about myself, they would jump to the first negative outcome that they could think of, labelling me sick and perverted.”

 

“Well I can promise you that I won’t breathe a word to anyone about anything, sir,” Frank reassured Gerard, reassuring himself as well to a degree now that he knew more about the outcome if any of this got out, “Our secret is safe with me.”

 

“Good boy,” Gerard praised him again before wiping his mouth on his napkin, folding it up before setting it down on his now empty plate, “Is there anything else that you wanted to ask me? I’m more than confident that Derek is running the office smoothly so we don’t have to rush back.”

 

“Yeah, I have a couple more…” Frank said, pausing though. His eyes wandered over the restaurant, seeing the other people who were there, enjoying their lunches, probably completely unaware of the type of conversation that they were having, but Frank got nervous all of a sudden. Feeling like someone might overhear what they were saying while he finished his own lunch, he didn’t want to jeopardize anything just because he had asked something highly inappropriate in someones earshot , “I just don’t know if it is something that we can discuss here…”

 

Gerard noticed Frank watching a few tables near them, looking over before he turned back to him, “My boy, if anyone was going to be listening in on our conversation, they probably would have had a problem when I mentioned pornography earlier.”

 

Frank flinched at the word, looking over the tables near him again, waiting for someone to kick off over what Gerard had just said. But there was nothing. No one batted an eyelid or even turned towards them. They were so wrapped up in their own little bubbles of life that the two of them were pretty much incognito.

 

“Okay,” Frank said, feeling a little more comfortable now, not feeling so nervous about asking his next question, “So when we are not in...what was the word again? It was part three of the contract I think…”

 

“You mean Scenes?” Gerard queried, knowing the contract practically off by heart.

 

“That’s it,” Frank said, “When we are not in scene, how does it all work? How would we be with each other? Does it just stop or is there more to this?”

 

“When not in scene, the play won’t be as intense as it would be if we were in scene,” Gerard explained, not noticing how Frank paused midway through drinking his iced tea, taking a moment to process that, “But you still have to listen to me and you are still who you are to me. The only difference is the rules are slightly different and I will be less officious. Overbearing to you, boy.” Gerard reiterated when he saw the look of confusion on his face.

 

“How would the rules be different?”

 

“That’s something we can discuss more at home,” Gerard acknowledged the question, “You needn’t worry about that now. We can go over it properly later.”

 

“Okay,” Frank nodded, knowing that he had one more question left. This question he wasn’t so sure about. It was more the fact that his curiosity had gotten the better of him. Gerard had already mentioned that he got into BDSM with someone in his past, but that was one person. Frank wondered how many there had been before him. God knows why he wanted to ask, he just knew that he did, even if he didn’t know if Gerard would answer him, “Sir, can I maybe ask a question that might be a bit more personal?”

 

“Depends on what the question is, boy.” Gerard looked at him, wondering where he was going with this.

 

“How- How many was there before me?” Frank questioned nervously, feeling himself shrink in his seat a little because had he overstepped the line? He didn’t see it as an overstep because he just wanted a better understanding of the person he was giving himself too, literally letting him own him. He felt like he was in his right to know, he just didn’t want to annoy Gerard because of his curiosity.

 

Gerard paused for a moment. Frank held his breath, wondering if he was about to be scolded for his intrusive question, but he breathed a sigh of relief when Gerard did finally speak, “There have been three.”

 

‘Really?” Frank sounded surprised, half expecting there to be a somewhat lengthy list because of who Gerard was. Strikingly attractive and charismatic in the most authoritative way possible, “Only three?”  
  
“Did you assume that there would have been more?” Gerard raised an eyebrow at him, “Just because I am who I am doesn’t mean I have people falling at my feet, willing to submit. It’s not something I do lightly, carelessly. I consider a lot before I decide if I want to begin something with a person.”

 

“Like you did with me?” Frank asked curiously, watching Gerard to see if he could read anything past the way he was looking. A flicker of something behind his eyes. Frank just wanted to know why, out of all the people he could have probably had submitting to him, he chose him and agreed for this to begin.

 

“You were different, I have to say,” Gerard answered, taking Frank by surprise. He had half expected Gerard to go through how he picks and chooses who he wants to be his sub, but that, Frank really wasn’t expecting him to answer like that, “I knew at the time you were taken, but it didn’t stop me. I didn’t have to decide, I just knew, even if I didn’t know if you would actually agree to all of this when you finally left that monotonous sounding ex of yours.”

 

Frank chuckled at that before getting back on point, “So there were three before me?”  
  
“Yes,” Gerard nodded, quickly turning his attention to the waiter when he came over to clear their plates away. Gerard thanked him, telling him that there would be nothing more for them before asking for the bill. Only once the waiter was walking away, that was when Gerard continued, “Robert- Bert, he was the one who got me into this lifestyle. Then there was Billie and before you came along, Adam.”

 

That name rang a bell in Frank's head instantly because of what Lindsey had told him when they had lunch together. The guy who went back to Brazil because his working visa had expired. Frank held back on saying anything to Gerard about how he already knew about him. He didn’t want to get Lindsey in trouble. Plus he got a sinking feeling in his stomach, feeling bad for a moment when he remembered what he had said in the office earlier. Not knowing him from Adam. That had probably cut right through, hurting him more than Frank had intended.

 

“Sorry I said what I said earlier in the office then, sir…” Frank mumbled out, looking down into his lap as he spoke.

 

“You didn’t know,” Gerard accepted the apology, “It’s just an unfortunate coincidence that you used that phrase.”

 

“So with your previous subs,” Frank continued to question, not realising that Gerard had tensed up over his curiosity, “Was it like, a similar set up to what I have now or is it different for everyone? Does everyone have to go through the same contract or is it done to suit one person more than the other? I mean, I get that rules stay the same and stuff, but I just-”

 

“Some things are better left unquestioned, especially when you have to remember who you are talking to, boy,” Gerard stopped Frank dead in his tracks, leaning closer to him, his voice low and stern, letting Frank know that he had most definitely overstepped the line. Frank’s voice died in his throat, a chill running down his spine when Gerard watching him for a second, only turning away when he went to pay the bill. Frank sat for a moment in silence with his thoughts, knowing full well that he should probably apologise for what he had asked. He hadn’t meant to go overboard, he was just trying to get a better understanding, but no, clearly he had gone too far and Frank felt nervous when the waiter disappeared once Gerard had paid. The silence felt thick to Frank, like he had fucked up more than he had done when he started eating his food, “Now, I do believe that you still have a lot of that contract to go through, don’t you?”

 

Gerard seemed to have moved on from it almost instantly. Frank was grateful for that. He knew that he could calm down now, not holding his breath while he waited to be told off for his questioning. His stomach still felt like it was going round and round like a spinning top, the dread and panic in him over his words. Eventually he would calm down completely though. Frank knew it, even as he watched Gerard check his phone from the corner of his eyes.

 

“I do,” Frank noted, grabbing his glass, quickly finishing off his iced tea. Leaving the ice and a small part of the diluted tea in the bottom of his glass, Frank looked at it for a second, thinking for a little longer than he thought he would have done, “Actually...I do have one more question…”

 

“Go on then,” Gerard spoke, finishing off with an email on his phone before turning his attention to Frank, “Quickly before we head back. Don’t want Derek thinking I deserted him.”

 

“I know I said yes to, um...pee,” Frank lowered his voice when a woman walked past their table, “But isn’t that kinda gross?

 

“Far from it,” Gerard replied, pocketing his phone, “Urine is sterile, drinkable and completely safe. Urophagia is a practise which can be dated back to ancient man. People used to drink it for ceremonial purposes, sexual practises, like you know and are keen on, and medicinal purposes?”  
  
“So it’s healthy for you?” Frank screwed up his nose.

 

“I wouldn’t say healthy. If you ingest a lot of it then it won’t do you any good, but apparently it’s good for certain things. Plus apparently it is a known fact that it tastes better than come. Personally I haven’t tasted it myself, but I have heard that it is much better.”

 

“Good to know.” Frank blushed, nodding slowly, not really knowing what else he could say now. He knew what he could say to that, but with them being in such a public place, he bit his tongue, holding back on what he knew he could have said about it.

 

“Plus there is other benefits to it,” Gerard leaned in close to Frank, making him pay attention to the low hushed tone that was making him internally melt, “If you’d want to be cover in my come, I would only be able to cover a small portion of your beautiful skin. But if I pissed on you, I could mark all of you as mine and I could completely own your skin.”

 

Frank didn’t even know how to respond or react to the words that had just been spoken right into his ear. Gerard paused for a second, lingering close to Frank. He hoped that Gerard hadn’t noticed the way that his breathing faltered, but of course he had, sitting back in his chair with a smug look on his face while Frank's mouth hung open and he felt like he wanted to sob. Heart hammering in his chest, Frank looked at Gerard, wondering how the hell he had done that to him just by telling him what he could do to him. How could he make something like piss sound like the best thing that he could possibly do to Frank.

 

“Come on, boy,” Gerard said, standing up, doing up his jacket before looking down at Frank, watching how he was still reeling from his own words, “You won’t get the contract finished if you keep sitting there with your mouth open like that, catching flies.”


	33. Chapter 30: Also called WIITWD, an Acronym for 'What It Is We Do'

“I’m glad you’re feeling better.” Gerard stated softly as Frank lifted his head up off the desk from where it had been buried in his arms, “You look better.”

 

“I’m okay. I’m calm. Over it.” Frank took in a heavy, slow breath, holding it for a second before he exhaled, nodding, “Yeah.”

 

“We can continue with this another, time, boy.” Gerard offered, “Some partners take weeks to fine tune their contracts.”

 

“No I- I’m good. We’re almost done.” Frank waved Gerard off slightly, “I’m excited to get through this.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

Frank replied silently by holding up the green marker in his hand, giving Gerard a small smile before turning the page, looking at the heading, “Section eight point four. Glossary and Limits.”

 

“It’s both. This last section is going to cover almost everything that’s part of the lifestyle from key terms to props to scenes and play. I want you to not only soft and hard limit but make sure you understand these terms, boy.” Gerard ran a finger over the first page of the list, “And don’t be afraid to ask.”

 

“So I marker the things as I did before?”

 

“As you did before. Some are just basic terms and some will be repeated in different names. I’m almost sure there are four different words for a blowjob hidden in there.” Gerard chuckled, “It’s just so that we’re thorough.”

 

“Thorough is good.” Frank smiled before he crossed his one leg under the other in his chair and wheeled himself closer, “24/7: a relationship in which protocols are in place continuously. Alright yeah, green. Adult Babies: Age play wherein the submissive is the baby. This may include diapering, powdering, wearing a pacifier, sleeping in a crib, etc. I wish I had a more red marker for this one.”

 

“I’ll invest in one for you.” Gerard chuckled and Frank smiled, eyeing his boss before he continued, fiddling with the cap on the marker idly.

  
“Adult Toy Chest: a place where one keeps their sex toys, a sex toy box. Green obviously. Do you already have one, by the way? All of this stuff?”

 

“I have, yes. Although I should forewarn you that I don’t recycle toys and props. If you are to become my submissive and at the end of the contract, you leave or you’re to leave prematurely then I let you take ten items and the rest I donate.”

 

“Donate?” Frank frowned.

 

“There are people I know who have foundations within the lifestyle that take in second hand toys and props, clean them and sell them for a cheaper price to Doms and subs who cannot afford to buy them new.”

 

“That’s pretty cool.” Frank smiled, “So anything I use won’t have been anyone else’s?”

 

“I make sure of it. It’s a hygiene issue for me. And I don’t like looking at something and being reminded of a previous submissive when I’m with my current one.” Gerard shrugged, “It’s disorienting. The room itself has props rotated every few months as well. Same things but I also donate the bigger props like my  bars and crosses and sawhorses for example.”

 

“No idea what those are.” Frank chuckled nervously and Gerard put his hand on Frank’s thigh slowly, making him suck in a breath.

 

“You will,” Gerard reassured, “Keep on.”

 

“Animal transformation fantasy: fantasy in which the focus is on the sub entering the altered mindspace of a different species, often a dog, cat, or horse. Red, red, red. Abrasion: to wear down the skin by using friction, materials and toys such as sandpaper, steel wool, rough cloth, and bottlebrushes are often used. Oh god that’s…” Frank went pink, running the green marker over the two lines, “Aftercare- Oh I remember what you said about that. Yeah, green. Ageplay: usually referring to daddy/daughter or mommy/baby role play, does not usually include or imply aspects of incest, but rather the nurturing relationship of parent/child or teacher/student. Fuck every single inch of that.”

 

Frank looked at Gerard for a second as the latter got up, walking over to a painting in the corner when he swung it open slowly to reveal a safe in the wall that had Frank’s jaw dropping in surprise.

 

“I have something in here that will help with some of the items on this list that may need more than explanation.” Gerard punched in a code and the door opened. Frank watched in awe as Gerard reached in and pulled out a thick book before closing the safe and walking back, “Here.”

 

“What is it?” Frank looked at the plain black cover and then at his boss with a frown.

 

“This is the book that my attorney used to create this list, not only does it have the name and description but beneath each item or prop there is a picture or a diagram. To help you understand.”

 

“That’s fucking dope.” Frank grinned as Gerard looked at the list and opened the book to the right page, “Alligator Clamp: a type of nipple clamp with tips that have teeth resembling an alligator's mouth. Most clamps of this style come with removable rubber tips and have adjustment screws to limit how far they can close.”

 

“There we go.” Gerard pointed with his index finger to the picture at the bottom of the page on the right and Frank glanced over, his body tensing at the sight of the lengthy clip, “You can get these at most hardware stores honestly, they use them for many things in electrical nature.”

 

“Green,” Frank coughed, lighting the word before continuing, “Anal Dildo: a dildo that is intended to be used with the anus as the receptor. Green. Do I need to look at the picture of everything or just the things I don’t know?”

 

“Up to you. I mean a dildo is self-explanatory.” Gerard chuckled and Frank couldn’t help the smile that widened on his lips before he carried on.

 

“Anal Intercourse: Sex using the anus as the receptor. Fuck yes, thanks. Green in every shade. Anal plugs: a butt plug is a sex toy that is designed to be inserted into the rectum for sexual pleasure. Green in the same shade.”

 

Frank looked at the picture underneath the ‘Anal plugs’ heading, staring for a second at the simple black butt plug when he frowned to himself and carried on.

  
“Ankle Cuffs: attachable cuffs, generally made of leather, that enable a Dom to immobilize his submissive’s legs. Green. Ankle Restraints: any device including ankle cuffs that immobilize a submissiveness legs. Green. Animal Training- No. Arm and leg sleeves or binders: a binder is a type of restraint devices primarily used in bondage play designed to bind the arms and legs and/or hands and feet to each other or to the body, usually behind the back, and employing a range of bondage equipment including cuffs, rods, straps, and gloves. Whoa… Kinky. Green.”

 

“I have no doubt about how great you’d look in those.” Gerard commented simply and Frank sucked in a breath at the soft but suggestive tone to Gerard’s voice.

 

“Aromas: using smells in scenes. Green. Autoclave: professional sterilization device for piercing equipment. Green, obviously. Auctioned off- I- What? No. Please don’t auction me off.” Frank suddenly whimpered, his eyes wide as he turned to look at Gerard with horror, “I safeword to that.”

 

“Relax.” Gerard smiled, tucking a piece of Frank’s hair behind his ear, “I’m not letting you out of my possession in the slightest.”

 

“Good.” Frank mumbled as he striped the line in red three times to make sure before he continued, “Bad pain: pain which is outside hard limits, non-mutual or non-valued, not wished for, and of limited or no value in this context, bad pain refers to unpleasant pain. As a ‘vanilla’ example, imagine soreness after a good workout at the gym versus the pain of breaking a leg. Whoa- fuck. I- I’m redding that one.”

 

“I’d be worried if you didn’t.” Gerard replied simply as he flipped the page. 

  
“Ball Gag: a device with a rubber ball and straps, which secures the ball in the bottom’s mouth to stifle screams. Why do I love the sound of that?” Frank striped it in green as he turned and looked at the ballgag picture in the book that Gerard was so kind enough to page for him, “Ball Stretching: the practice of stretching the scrotal sack- wh- so that it hangs lower using weights or other devices to pull on it above the testicles, a- as the sack is pulled, the testicles are squeezed leading to discomfort and sometime pain. I think the fuck not. Red. And you stop laughing.”

 

Frank turned to see Gerard hiding his obvious amusement behind his hand, his eyes sparkling with laughter at his assistant, “My apologies.”

  
“Ball Torture: causing pain to the male testicles, also included in CBT or cock and ball torture. Red. Ball Toys: toys used for playing with the scrotum, such as weights, straps, etc. Okay, that’s fine. Green for that. Ball Weights: weights used to stretch the scrotum. Hell no, red.”

 

Gerard turned the picture and Frank caught sight of the ominous looking pair of shoes, turning to look at the contract, “Ballet Boots: extremely high heeled boots that require you to stand on the ends of your toes rather than the sole of your foot, usually they have heels that are 8-9 inches and require considerable training and ability to walk in without assistance, sometime also referred to as bondage boots. Um, I’m gonna have to say no.”

 

“Good because I don’t own them anymore. Lindsey found them when I was about to throw them out and she stole them. She wears them often, I just haven’t had the heart to tell her why I owned them in the first place.” Gerard chuckled and Frank opened his mouth to say something before he decided against it and tried to hide the smile before turning back to the page in front of him on the desk.

  
“Barbell: a straight piece of metal used in piercing, as opposed to a ring. Like in my tongue, yeah. Green. Bastinado: the act of whipping the sub's feet, usually the sub would be tied up to restrict movement as the torture is being inflicted, part of impact play. So many times green.” Frank sucked in a breath at the thought, trying to calm himself down already, “B&D, B/D, B/d: Bondage and Discipline. Although they go together in this phrase, they are not inextricably linked. Bondage means restraining someone in a helpless position- such as being tied up. Discipline is training a person to behave in a certain way. They tend to go together because Dominants tend to do both to their submissive. Green for sure.”

 

“Always good to know.” Gerard replied simply as he began rolling up the sleeves on his shirt, making Frank falter slightly before he carried on reading.

  
“BDSM or Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sadism/Masochism: a combined acronym often used as a catchall for anything in the kink scene, a popular acronym for activities inclusive of- but not limited to- Bondage, Domination/Discipline, Submission/Sadism & Masochism. Also called WIITWD, an acronym for ‘What It Is That We Do.’ Both mean this type of alternative lifestyle. That’s so dope.” Frank muttered, striping the whole paragraph in green as swiftly as possible, “BDSM Toy Box: a place where one keeps their BDSM gear or play equipment. Is this different to the other box?”

 

“Vastly,” Gerard smiled as he started rolling up his other sleeve, “The one is merely your sex toys, vibrators, dildos, plugs, balls and rings. The other has the heavier things such as your crops, floggers, restraints and what have you.”

 

“Oh right.” Frank nodded understandingly, “Beating: general term for such BDSM activities such as flogging caning, spanking, strapping, etc. Green. Belt: a leather strap used for striking the buttocks. Green please. Biting: receiving. Yes. Biting: given. Yes. BJ: expression for blowjob, ditto in the BDSM lifestyle. We both know where I stand on this.”

 

“Oh, I don’t think standing is the right position for that.” Gerard mused jokingly and Frank cackled softly as he lined the words in green.

  
“Black sheet party: An orgy for people into BDSM sex. Yellow, maybe.” Frank bit his lip, “Blend Modality: depilation and hair removal using both electrolysis and thermolysis. Uh… No. Blindfold: by blocking out sight-  a common technique in SM scene- the bottom feels more vulnerable and increases the release of endorphins, thus contributing to the excitement in the scene. Fuck yes. Oh god.”

 

“Easy, Frank.”   
  


“Sorry,” Frank muttered, feeling the slight heat in his cheeks returning yet again and he looked down, trying his best not to giggle as he decided to keep on with the list, clearing his throat pointedly, “Blood sports: a group of techniques in which the submissive’s skin is broken and blood is allowed to escape. Such as cutting, using needles, etc. Whoa, yeah I’d be down for that.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Totally.” Frank nodded enthusiastically, “Are- Are you not a fan of it? Fuck- I didn’t even think about your thoughts on these things, I’ve just been going, haven’t I?”

 

“This is your contract Frank, if there was something I wouldn’t do that you would, I’d tell you but so far there hasn’t been anything.” Gerard stated simply, “I’m not a fan of cannibalising, feces and murder. Or medical play for that matter. And like I said, paternalism isn’t for me either.”

 

“Just those?” Frank turned slightly, looking at Gerard with keen interest now as he set the markers down again.

 

“Well there are others. I also don’t like partaking in group sex, I have no issues with swapping or swinging in my personal opinion as a Dominant but group sex is something I’ve never been keen on. I don’t like infibulation either, or gastric tubes. Those are hard limits for myself.”

 

“What’s infib- what was it?”

 

“You’ll see when we get to it but I know you won’t like it so it shouldn’t be of any worry.” Gerard smiled slightly, “You were on blood sports.”

 

“Next yeah,” Frank muttered, “Blowjob: fellatio, head, sucking cock. Ni-i-ice…Green. Body Art: artful body modification including: piercing, tattoos and brandings. Green. Body Modification: making alterations to the appearance of the body. Includes, but is not limited to, tattoos, piercings, brandings, scarification. Green. Body Shaving: removal of hair with a razor. Female and male submissives commonly shave their pubic hair clean. Green- but I remember your preference, sir.”

 

“Good boy.”

 

“Bondage: making a submissive physically helpless and to a great extent immobilized, acts involving the physical restraint of a partner, techniques include rope ties, handcuffs, leather cuffs, stocks and mummification. Sign me the fuck up. Bootlicking: licking and cleaning of a Dominant’s boots by a submissive is a common show of submission and can also be a fetish. Green. I’m not kidding when I say I’d literally lick anything of yours.”

 

“Holding you to that…”

 

“Some other time?” Frank asked playfully, noting the recollection in Gerard’s eyes as they both seemed to remember Gerard having said that to Frank on the first day they had met.

 

“Exactly, boy.” Gerard smiled before clearing his throat and pointing to the next word in the list to which Frank turned to look, giggling instantly.

  
“Bottom: one who receives physical sensation from a top in a scene, the one-done-to rather than the do-er. Me apparently. Boy: term for male submissive. Wait- Wait a second… You-”

 

“Have been calling you that since I met you?” Gerard asked, his head tilted to the side as Frank’s jaw dropped and mind physically imploded on itself, staring at Gerard in disbelief.

 

“I- You… I’m… I’m so…” Frank blinked hard, “I mean I would never have caught that until now but I- I never- And you just. I’m actually so, like... I’m just…”

 

“Staggered?” Gerard asked lightly and Frank nodded vigorously still reeling from the fact that Gerard had called him that from the word ‘go’. Since the interview. 

 

“I can’t believe you. I thought it was just a nickname.” Frank chuckled dryly despite not finding it funny at all, he was so astounded that Gerard had been this way and he had no idea about any of it.

 

“Despite you being taken by someone else, I had wanted you since I saw you and I knew that even if I couldn’t physically own you, I could in my mind and every time I saw you, I’d push that limit a little more for my own gratification.” Gerard admitted nonchalantly, “I guess it’s the sadist in me.”

 

“I-... Have no words,” Frank muttered, “I’m.. Contract. Boy Toy: a male who is submissive to a dominant. So I’m your boy toy? Nice. Green. Branding: making a permanent or semi-permanent scar on the skin by burning it with a heated metal object. Usually used by a Master to ‘mark’ his slave as his property. Green. Brat: term for a sub who tries to get the attention of a Dom by ‘acting up.’ Haha, me.”   


“Oh, is that so?” Gerard asked with intrigue and Frank felt himself freeze slightly, cursing himself.

 

“Didn’t realise that was out loud…” Frank whispered.

 

“I’m gonna keep an eye on you, Frank. You better watch yourself.” Gerard warned and Frank blanched lightly at the tone, wanting to all but whimper out loud but he swallowed it back.

 

“B- Breath control: the Dominant controls the submissive's breathing. Another type of “edgeplay” whereby the submissive’s breath is stopped for a short period of time to increase pleasurable sensations. Also called asphyxiaphilia, autoerotic asphyxiation, breath games, breathplay and hypoxyphilia. Very Dangerous. Also very me, thanks. Green.” Frank striped it obediently, “Bukake: sexual scene where many men masturbate on and give a ‘semen bath’ to a willing submissive. I’ve seen these online. That’s a lot of come, not gonna lie.”

 

“You’ve seen it before?”

 

“Porn searching,” Frank nodded, “Didn’t watch it but the thumbnail was very informative.”

 

“And your thoughts?”

 

“I don’t mind being lathered in come, no.” Frank shrugged, “But multiple men sounds daunting as hell.”

 

“Lathered, you say?” Gerard asked simply and Frank couldn’t help but break from his stoic gaze, snickering softly like a child.

 

“Like a shampoo of sorts, yeah.” Frank carried on, “Although I don’t think come can lather, though. So it’s more like…”

 

“Conditioner.” Gerard added with a knowing nod.

 

“Exactly. But eh why not. Green. Bullwhip: a long, heavy leather whip usually longer than 4 feet. Green” Frank looked at the picture in the book before paging over, yelping in fridge at the picture before looking down at his crotch in horror.

 

“That’s the butterfly board I mentioned before.” Gerard chuckled.

 

“Butterfly Board: a wood board where a male’s scrotum can be nailed or pinned onto. Fucking red as hell. Butt plug. Green. Buttplug Harness: usually a leather harness that prevents a buttplug from being removed either intentional or accidentally from the rectum. Green.” Frank looked at the diagram in the book with his lips pursed before carrying on with his green marker, “Cage: a bondage practice, wherein the submissive is kept inside a cage, they can be so small as to restrict motion or large enough for two or more people. Green. Candle: a source of hot wax, which is dripped onto the bottom’s body in BDSM play. Fuck yes. Caning: using a rattan cane -although they are made of many other substances- on a submissive. Usually more severe than a flogging. Sign me the fuck up, holy hell.”

 

“That’s what we’re currently doing, Frank.”

 

“Right.” Frank frowned, “Dunno why I didn’t piece that together actually. This is so much better than chess club.”

 

“You play chess?”

 

“Love it, actually.” Frank smiled, “Used to play a lot when I was in school but Ryan didn’t like it so I never had anyone to play with.”

 

“Lucky for you I happen to enjoy a game of chess quite a bit myself, boy.” Gerard smirked, eyeing Frank as he sat back in his chair, hand casually holding his ankle.

 

“Oh it’s so on like Donkey Kong” Frank grinned maliciously at the thought, excitement in his stomach was now tenfold, “You’ve been warned though, may be one of the few times where I beat you instead.”

 

“I look forward to it then.” Gerard smiled, “It’s nice to have a challenge every now and again. And you seem quite the task, Frank. I look forward to it.”

 

“Too bad I don’t come with instructions.”

 

“Maybe not, I’ve never been one to read them,” Gerard however shrugged nonchalantly, “That being said, you better come on instruction though, boy.”   
  
“I-” Frank frowned before it hit him and he went red, “O- Oh..”

  
“Keep going.” Gerard got up from his chair, “I need to go and check on something but the book is here for you if you need.”

 

“Yes, sir.” Frank watched Gerard walk out before he looked back at the contract and grabbed his favourite green marker, “Cat: an old school expression for an old school BDSM tool of discipline, the ‘cat o nine tails’. Green. Cat O Nine Tails: a whip that has exactly 9 strands. Some have a knot at the end for increased sensation or sting. Green. Catheter: a flexible tube used in medicine; in BDSM catheters designed for the bladder, often utilized in ‘control’ scenes. Red. Chastity: a form of erotic sexual denial or orgasm denial whereby a person is prevented from access to, or stimulation of, their genitals, save at the whim or choice of their partner, usually by means of a device. Oh yes, fuck me up.”

 

Frank looked in the book beside him at the whip that had been mentioned and a shudder ran up his spine before he looked at the catheter and shuddered, turning the page to continue.

 

“Chastity Belt: a device used to keep the submissive chaste when the Dominant is away. Comes in both male and female models. Yes. Chains: multi-use metal links; used to restrain, restrict movement and/or tie up a submissive. Hell yes. Chauffeuring: driving the master around when needed. Gonna happen anyway, might as well. Choking… Fuck. Green and then some. Circumcision: the cutting away of some or the entire foreskin, in males. In the female, circumcision usually refers to the removal of the c- clitoral hood. Oh my god what the hell?”

 

“What?” Gerard asked as he reappeared a moment later in the doorway, peering in.

 

“Just… Read something grim.” Frank grimaced at the thought, “Didn’t sound pleasant.”

 

“Then you know what to do.” Gerard smiled, “Lindsey brought coffee for the office, can I offer you a cup?”

 

“She’s a saint. Yes please.” Frank nodded before Gerard disappeared from the doorway. Frank looked down, highlighting red through the latest option, taking in a heavy breath, “Clamp: generic term for any BDSM toy- even if garnered at a hardware store- that can clamp some body part of a submissive. Green. Clingfilm: generic term for plastic wrap which is used in mummification scenes. Green. Clip: Generic term for any BDSM toy- even if garnered at a hardware store- that can clip some body part of a submissive. Green. Clothespins: wooden or plastic clothespins, typically used to produce pain sensation on the skin. Usually on nipples and genital areas. Green.”

 

Frank flipped through the last few pages of the book that he had missed, going through each one up until he had reached the diagram of the clothespins, looking at the picture of them pinched on someone’s skin had him shudder and his stomach twist, a soft whimper leaving him automatically.

 

“Clover Nipple Clamps:type of adjustable nipple clamps that tightens as it is pulled, also known as Japanese Clover Nipple Clamps. Green. Coca-Cola Submissive: a submissive who only obeys the easy stuff or only when he/she feels like it. Wimpy cry baby bitch. Red that shit.” Frank muttered, “Cock and ball torture: torture of the male genitals for sexual gratification. Green. Cock Cage: a CBT device that encase a penis shaft inside it. Can be either a solid or web design. Green. Cock Cuff:  a chastity device that consists of a tube welded to a handcuff, usually both made of stainless steel. The penis is slid into the tube and the handcuff closes behind the ball sack making removal all but impossible without unlocking the handcuff. A very effective chastity device. Whoa… Green.”

 

Frank was paging through the book at all of the dick-related accessories when Gerard reappeared with two mugs yet again, walking around the desk to set them down before he slid graciously into his chair and slid closer to Frank. Very close.

 

“Hi, boy.” Gerard whispered and Frank let out a whimper, not looking at his boss and rather focusing on the marker in his hand as he stroked green through each item so far, “Good.”

 

“Hi,” Frank bit his lip, deciding to see Gerard’s reaction, “Daddy.”

 

Gerard froze, his mug halfway to his lips, his eyes widening for a second before he recomposed himself, taking a small sip of coffee, “I thought you didn’t like it?”

 

“That’s it? That’s all I get?” Frank frowned, turning properly to look at Gerard, who was staring ahead of him at nothing, lips set in a firm line.

 

“What were you expecting?” Gerard asked casually, shifting in his chair.

 

“I don’t know but…” Frank shrugged, “I mean I still don’t like it. I don’t- I mean…”

 

“You really don’t like it?”

 

“I mean I’m not gonna judge anyone who does because I kinda get it but I can’t say that it’s something that would just fall from my mouth when you’re balls deep. I mean I kind of don’t like it enough to be comfortable. I guess if I worked on it if you wanted it-”

 

“I don’t.” Gerard replied suddenly, frowning, “I don’t like it. Not anymore.”

 

“Not…” Frank began when Gerard gave him a warning glance over his coffee mug, making the latter quieten again, biting on his lip, “Sorry, sir.”

 

“No need to apologise but I just don’t like it. It’s a hard limit for me, okay?”

 

“Oh…” Frank frowned down at the contract, his mind racing and wondering for what felt like ages when Gerard pulled him out of his vigil funk. Frank looked down at the hand on his thigh and he sucked in a breath, whimpering.

 

“I’m going to enjoy teasing you, boy.”

 

Frank let out a whimper, his leg shaking under the desk when Gerard lay a hand in it, ceasing his trembles as Frank took in a small breath, “You’re doing this on purpose.”

 

“I’m not doing a thing.” Gerard replied with an innocent expression on his face as he sipped from his coffee mug.

 

“Cock Ring: Rubber or metal ring that slips round base of cock and balls; supposed to increase duration of erection but also has D/s aspects to it. Green. Cock Strap: Leather or neoprene strap that wraps around the base of cock and balls to help improve erection. Green. Cock Sucking. Green, oh god. Cock Torture: Cock and ball torture without the ball torture, giving pain only to the penis shaft. Green somehow more than the other one where my balls get tortured actually. Cock Worship- What?”

 

“Hmm?” Gerard asked as he swallowed his coffee and set it down again while Frank flipped through the book with a frown in his brows.

 

“Cock Worship: Cock worship can be used to refer to a scene in which a submissive engages in a ceremony-like honoring of a Dominant's cock. It can also refer simply to the fantasy of worshiping/lavishing attention on the cock. This may involve fellatio, licking, stroking, or any other activities meant to deliver pleasure to the cock,” Frank read out in one go before he turned and looked at Gerard, “If it’s your cock that I’m worshipping, I’d sacrifice virgins if I have to.”

 

“Good to know where you’re at, boy.” Gerard smiled devilishly, “Alas though, we’re fresh out of virgins.”

 

“If you hadn’t fucked me a month ago you could have used me, cause I swear to God my virginity was growing back.” Frank muttered and Gerard let out a chuckle as Frank scowled at the pages in front of him.

 

“I have a question.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“What would you say your libido is like, boy?” Gerard asked selectively, taking another sip from his black coffee cup, “On a one to ten, one being once every three months and ten being more than four times a day.”

 

“Uh…” Frank frowned, “God I’d love to fuck four times a day but I doubt my ass would handle that.”

 

“We’re not talking your physical ability, we’re talking about your sex drive now. How salacious is it?”

 

“One to ten I’d say…” Frank thought about it for a moment, “I mean it’s always been pretty high. I dunno if that’s just me or if it’s because I’d have to go without for ages. But I can tell you at the moment it stands at about a fifteen.”

 

“Oh?” Gerard chuckled then as Frank nodded solemnly, “Physically then?”

 

“About an eight probably.” Frank shrugged, “Don’t think I could do four times, maybe three and a handjob.”

 

“Interesting.” Gerard replied slowly, “Very high.”

  
“And you, sir?”

 

“Ah,” Gerard shifted in his chair slightly, “It’s not fair to compare us, I’m both older and a lot more patient than you. My libido is high but my body can wait.”

 

“So one to ten?” Frank asked curiously, spinning lazily from side to side in his chair.

 

“Libido is a definite nine and I’d say physically about a seven perhaps.” Gerard chuckled, “I don’t have to hump something every time I feel any sort of sexual depravity coursing through me or I’d never get anything done.”   
  
“Speak for yourself.” Frank muttered heatedly, frustratedly, at himself and his internal organs that seemed hell-bent on running him dry of fluids, “I’ll just… Collar and Leash: worn by the bottom during this type of BDSM play, the Dominant holds the leash and the bottom must follow and obey. Collars are also worn by the submissive as symbols of commitment and ownership. Green, for sure. Collared: Submissive or slave who is owned, usually- but certainly not exclusively- in a loving intimate relationship. I-..”

 

“Frank?”

 

“I’m okay...” Frank whispered, suddenly feeling a well-up of emotions at the thought that he would essentially be collared by someone, that he would officially be owned by someone and that despite it’s outward appearance, he- Frank- would be in a relationship with someone who did things he wanted to do, that actually wanted intimacy and sex. The idea was maddening and somehow it was something so right. 

 

“Are you sure, boy?” Gerard asked softly, his question only solidifying the emotions in Frank’s chest like a hammer and nail, the simple three-worded question having so much of a deeper impact than it should. Frank thought that once he was free fro Ryan that he would never want to commit to anyone ever again, that the mere idea of being with someone in general threw Frank for a total six and had him shaken and terrified.

 

But not now, not here. Somehow this was okay, somehow this committment wasn’t scary despite it being so foreboding. It wasn’t white-picket and… It wasn’t Ryan.

 

“Yeah.” Frank whispered, wiping a sudden and singular tear that came from nowhere, “I was just- uh- Nah, just thinking of something.”

 

“But are you okay?” Gerard urged and Frank turned and looked at Gerard in the eye, full on face to face.

 

“Yes, sir.” He stated, earnestly hoping Gerard could tell that he was, and it wasn’t a lie, for the first time in so long he finally could say it with a glimmer of truth, “Never been better.”

 

“Good.” Gerard muttered after a clear scrutinisation of Frank’s face, “Good.”

 

“Collaring,” frank whispered before turning to the contract, “Collaring: the formal acceptance by a Dominant, of a sub's service, or the ‘ownership’ of a pup by a Master or Trainer. Also the ceremony when a dominant commits to a sub, much like a wedding or other contract. Green. Color Codes: such as the hanky code of sexual preference. What?”

 

“Oh,” Gerard turned to the select page in the book, “The handkerchief code, also known as the hanky code, the bandana code, and flagging, is a color-coded system, employed usually among the gay male casual-sex seekers or BDSM practitioners to indicate preferred sexual fetishes, what kind of sex they are seeking, and whether they are a top or dominant or bottom or submissive.”

 

“Oh?” Frank frowned, “What colours are they?”

 

“We won’t go through the whole list but I can give you some examples like,” Gerard looked at the book, “Black is S&M, dark blue is anal sex, light Blue is oral sex, brown is scat-play, green is hustling or prostitution, grey is bondage, orange is anything goes, purple is piercing, red is fisting and yellow is watersports.” 

 

“Oh…” Frank muttered softly before he frowned and looked around, “Is that why you like the colour orange?” 

 

“I honestly didn’t even think about that.” Gerard noted, running a hand through his hair, “A good eye on you boy, very perceptive at times. I like it.”

 

“Thank you, sir.” Frank took a sip of his coffee, smiling at just how good it was despite it being filter, somehow because Gerard had made it for him, it tasted ten times better, “Should I keep going?”

 

“Please.”

 

“Competitions: competitions have a purpose to make the contestants known and recognized with in the BDSM community. Competitions are held to evaluate between whom is the best of a specific skill, be it Dominant or submissive.” Frank frowned, “Competitions can also be a matchmaking device for Dominants and submissives to see where their traits are lain. Red. Condom: latex “rubber” that goes over the penis to prevent diseases and unwanted pregnancy. I mean, I guess but considering we’re both clean, are they necessary?”

 

“I would think not then.” Gerard stated simply and Frank bit his lip, striking the line in yellow just to be on the safe side.

 

“Consent: mutual agreement to the terms of a scene or ongoing BDSM relationship. Green. Consensual non-consensuality: a mutual agreement that within defined limits, consent will be given as read without foreknowledge of the exact actions planned. As such, it is a show of trust and understanding and usually undertaken only by partners who know each other well, or otherwise agree to set clear safe limits on their activities. Green. Contract: a written-out agreement between the Dominant & submissive. It can be either formal or non, and is usually written after much negotiation by the dominant and the sub, outlining what structure, guidelines, rules and boundaries to the relationship are agreed upon by the two. It is not legally binding. Well green obviously.”

 

“An obvious one, I’m sure.” Gerard turned, pulling his laptop closer as he began writing out what looked like an email, “Carry on, boy. I’m right here, but this has to be out by the end of today.”

 

“Alright,” Frank looked at the contract again, biting his lip, “Control: the Dominant should have control in one form or another over his submissive in any D/s relationship.Green. Corporal Punishment: retributive punishment using repetitive spankings and question and reply to change a bottom’s behavior. Green, fuck. Corset: Very popular clothing item that cinches and narrows the waist and gives an “hourglass” figure. Whoa, really? Me?”

 

“You in a corset sounds like a stunning idea in my books.” Gerard replied as he typed away on his laptop, his eyes still on the screen, “You’re not too bulky or muscular for it and it would definitely suit your figure.”

 

“Alright then, why not.” Frank smiled, blushing slightly, “Crop: a type of whip used in horseback riding, quite popular in BDSM scenes, it stings and can mark a butt severely, but is easy to master and quite reasonable in price. Hell yeah, markings on a budget. Cross Dressing: dressing in clothing worn by the opposite sex, does not indicate sexual preference in any way. Green. Crucifixion: BDSM play wherein a submissive is tied to a cross. Green. Cuffs leather and metal: a metal or leather bondage device that locks round a limb and can be used to immobilize the sub’s limbs. Green. Cupping: The placing of suction devices on the skin to increase blood flow. Typically these are used on the nipples and the genitalia. Increasing the blood flow increase sensation as well. Don’t swimmers do this on their back or some shit?”

 

“It’s used for pain, inflammation, blood flow, relaxation and well-being.” Gerard explained, “Quite the opposite reason as to why we use it, I might add.”

 

“I’ll say,” Frank chuckled, “Cutting: cutting the submissive’s skin with a sterile knife. Oh god- these can be either temporary or permanent. Made permanent by putting a sterile foreign substances into them before they heal. Not for beginners. But definitely for this fucking guy.”

 

“Your blade-happiness worries me to an extent,” Gerard pursed his lips as he turned from his laptop, “Did you ever do that to yourself when you were younger?”

 

“What? Hurt myself?” Frank frowned and Gerard nodded, “Um- Well I did try it when I was younger, like fourteen but… I don’t know it wasn’t really for me. I mean yeah I was sad as shit at the time but every time I did it, it was more hassle than anything else. I liked the pain but the consequences outweighed everything else and I just… Stopped.”

 

“Can I ask what was making you so sad?” Gerard turned completely away from his laptop in the chair, closing it slightly as a frown set in his brows, “If I may.”

 

“Well I was being picked on at school and dealing a lot harder with my sexuality because I was trying to ignore the fact that I was gay. My grandad died around that time and I was still dealing with my parents wanting to split.”

  
“Did they split up?”

 

“They did when I was three,” Frank looked down, “I bore the brunt of it because I was the only kid. And they both too their fighting out on me. And when I hit high school they tried to patch things up but it only got worse. And after a while my dad relocated to Denver for work and I stayed with my mom and then she moved out their too after my grandad died. I lost contact with them when I left high school and moved in with Ryan.”

 

“Did they accept your sexuality?”

 

“Oh, mom was all for having a gay son. Said she always had something to tell her lady friends about me and my antics.” Frank smiled slightly, “Dad was neither here nor there about it. He just didn’t want me pushing it in his face, really.”

 

“I see.” Gerard sounded pensive with his reply, “But you don’t still harm yourself, Frank?”

 

“Oh, no,” Frank shrugged, “Haven’t for about six years? Seven, maybe? Like I said, not my thing.”

 

“Not altogether true though.” Gerard replied and Frank frowned in confusion, “Studies have shown that there’s a link between body modification and self-harm, did you know this? Some people say cutting their skin brings them relief from emotional pain- an act usually referred to as self-harm. Others enjoy having their body pierced with metal and their skin inscribed with permanent ink. The self-harmers reported that they often had their skin tattooed or body pierced to help overcome a negative experience, or simply to experience physical pain. Another clue that self-harm and piercing/tattooing might, in some cases, be linked, derives from the fact that many of the self-harmers said they had ceased cutting themselves after obtaining their first piercing or tattoo. Did you get your first piercing when you stopped cutting at sixteen?”

 

“Wh…” Frank stared at Gerard in disbelief.

 

“It’s not an exact science but the exact same hormones are released when being tattooed as their is when cutting because it is essentially the same thing, so when the need is being met in another way, the cutting either ceases completely or slows down. So instead of the self-harm being an addiction, piercng or tattooing does. Because body modifications have become so common and accessible, they are also used with probably increasing frequency as a convenient means to either realise psychopathological inclinations, such as self-injury, or to overcome psychological traumas.”

 

“I never…” Frank looked down at the tiniest white line that ran parallel to his elbow and up at Gerard again, “I never made the connection.”

 

“Well most people get a tattoo if it means something but those with many tattoos that are almost random in a sense are those who get them frequently and those who are in trouble in their own head.” Gerard looked at Frank’s sleeve and back up again, “As you are.”

 

“I didn’t pick up on that at all. I-” Frank frowned, “How do you do that?”

 

“It’s my job and my personal choice to notice people and their behaviour and their traits, Frank. As both a political figure and a Dominant, I have to heighten my inclinations with people and the different types.”

 

“I just… Wow I-” Frank swallowed, “I’m gonna, I need to just… Finish this before you’re all up in my head, Freud.”

 

“Feel free.” Gerard took a sip from his coffee as Frank leaned in to the pages, turning one over to the next side.

 

“Daddy: a role taken on by some dominants; especially common in age play. Red. Depilation: removal of hair, many Dominants require their submissive to shave certain areas, their whole body or just their pubic hair. Yellow. Dildo: a manufactured penis-shaped object. Ha, green. Discipline: whipping, spanking, verbal orders, etc for the purpose of training a submissive. Green. Dittle Sound: A straight urethral sound. Uh, fuck no. DM: Dungeon Monitor, a person who supervises the interactions between participants at a play party or dungeons to enforce house rules, essentially, the bouncer of a BDSM event. They sometimes also play cruise director to keep/get the party going. Yellow, I guess?”

 

“Good choice.”

 

“Dog-Training: Role-play games involving treating the bottom as a dog- Fuck that. Dom: A person who exercises control Another name for a Dominant. Hell yeah, you do. Green. Douche, Douching: injecting of a liquid, usually water, into the asshole or p- pussy- whoa language- usually for hygiene purposes prior to sex or ass play. Jeez. No one is douching my asshole thank you. DP: Double penetration. Please and thanks. D/s or Dominance/submission: play or relationships that involve an erotic power exchange, a relationship between a Top and bottom where one is Dominant and the other submissive. Can be for a scene or can be a long-term relationship or anything in between. Also called Dom-sub, DS, D/S, D&S. Green, green and green.”

 

“Glad to see you’re enjoying that marker.” Gerard commented and Frank chuckled, biting the end of it.

 

“Duct Tape: also known as gaffer’s tape; used in many BDSM scenes such as taping the submissive’s mouth shut. Oh god, I swear if you tape my mouth shut, there’s a chance I may come on the spot.”

 

“We’ll have to work on your endurance then, boy. Can’t have that.” Gerard commented coyly and Frank let out a low-pitched whine, squirming in his chair.

 

“Dungeon: dramatic term for a BDSM or Bondage playroom. Usually referring to a room or area with BDSM equipment and play space. Yes. Edgeplay: SM play that involves a chance of harm, either physically or emotionally. Because the definition of edgeplay is subjective to the specific players i.e., what is risky for me may not be as risky for you, there isn't a universal list of what is included in edgeplay. However, there are a few forms of play which almost always make the cut, including fireplay, gunplay, rough body play, breath play, and bloodplay. Yes to all.”

 

“Slow down, boy.” Gerard frowned, “You need to think about these things, remember?”

 

“I am, I am.” Frank muttered, “I just love the sound of them or the idea of them happening to me. I didn’t think I would but I do.”

 

“Just pace yourself. This is a marathon, not a sprint.”

 

“Yes, sir.” Frank replied softly before setting the contract down, “Sir?”

 

“Yes, boy?”

 

“Permission to stand up and walk around a bit? My ass is getting numb in this chair.” Frank wiggled slightly and he felt the static in his asscheeks tingling uncomfortably, making him grimace.

 

“Granted. Good boy for asking. Well done.” Gerard nodded and Frank pushed the chair from the desk and got up, stretching his arms up before he went lax again. Gerard passed Frank the contract that he had put on a clipboard for him and Frank began walking idly around the office, reading aloud.

 

“Electro-Play: the practice of using electrical stimulation to the nerves of the body using a power source- such as a TENS, EMS, Violet wand, or made-for-play units- for purposes of sexual stimulation, body modification, tickling, or torture. Yes. Electrolysis: Permanent electric hair removal. Definitely not. Electro-torture: Another, more dramatic, term for electrical play. Green. Emasculation: Permanent removal of the male sex - sex organs?!” Frank looked up at Gerard in horror, the grim expression of his boss looking back told him it was true and he continued reading the definition, “Sometimes simulated through the use of a chastity device or through a dominants restrictions forbidding typical male behavior such a urinating while standing. Wait wait, ‘sometimes’ simulated? So like, sometimes not? Oh my god, what the fuck.”

 

“It happens.” Was Gerard’s only reply and Frank felt the instant urge to shut his legs.

 

“Endorphin: A chemical produced in the body that seems to be involved in regulating the perception of pain, endorphins give a ‘rush’ similar to adrenaline- which is released simultaneously- and it is speculated that their release is the cause of the phenomenon known as ‘subspace’. Subspace?”

 

“It’ll come up later, go on.” 

 

“Well, green either way.” Frank lined the word, “Enema- oof- thorough anal douche using a bag and tube. No way in hell. Enema Play: using the enema as a BDSM device in play. I think not. Enforced Chastity: chastity play where the Dom controls a sub’s sexual frequency and ability to experience sexual pleasure, usually with a chastity belt or other chastity device. Yes. Erotic dancing? Sure.”

 

“I can’t wait for that, then.” Gerard snickered from behind his laptop and Frank’s cheeks went a degree or so warmer, a frown in his brows.

 

“Erotic sexual denial. Si. Erotic spanking. Bueno. Examinations: physical inspections and submissive maintenance. Oui. Exercising: forced or required- Wh- Exercising?” Frank turned and looked at Gerard, “You’re gonna make me exercise? Isn’t it enough that you’re nailing things through my scrotum and lathering me in your come conditioner? Now you want me to run?”

 

“You have to keep fit or else it’ll be too much for your body to handle. And no one said running. Just fitness.” Gerard smiled reassuringly, “We can find something for you.”

 

“Only fitness I wanna do is fitness whole dick in my mouth.” Frank muttered, scowling unhappily as he carried on, hearing Gerard snicker at his dry humour, “Extreme Restraints: a Bondage device that is very strict or terribly confining, usually not something used on beginner Green- or- or yellow?”

 

“Yellow, on the safe side.” Gerard commented and Frank nodded, obeying Gerard’s suggestion. 

 

“Eye contact restrictions, nothing new. Face Fucking: another term for a blowjob. And count me the fuck in.” Frank grinned, “Face slapping, oh god yes. Fainting: a temporary loss of consciousness caused by lack of oxygen to the brain, can happen during extreme BDSM play  such as breath control, long pain sessions, etc, can be dangerous when caused by breath control play. Yellow. Fantasy abandonment? Red. Fear: being scared. Green. Felching: imbibing semen out of the vagina or anus.

 

That was the moment when Frank stopped his pacing, a high-pitched squeak left him at the latest word on the list, a childish part f him wanted to piss himself laughing but he knew, the adult part of him knew that it wasn’t that funny in the lng run. It was when he saw Gerard’s concerned expression that he cracked and began cackling with laughter, pointing at the word ‘felching’ n the contract as hi stomach ached and his cheeks cramped up, the younger male doubled over in stitches.

 

“Frank, control yourself. This is a work environment.” Gerard scolded, frowning at Frank, who stuck his fist in his mouth, setting the contract down as he tried his best to calm himself down but once he caught sight of the line striped in green and began giggling again.

 

“I- I- Oh god, I’m gonna vomit,” He managed, cackling all over as he pressed himself up against the wall, trying to stifle his laughter in his hands.

 

“Frank.” Gerard’s voice rose in volume and in warning, his eyebrow lifting somewhat as Frank looked at him, suddenly feeling the intensity radiating off of his boss, making him shy away suddenly and look down.

 

“Sorry, sir.”

 

“People are trying to work. You need to learn self control at appropriate times.” Gerard’s voice laced with disapproval and Frank winced slightly at being reprimanded.

 

“Yes, sir.” 

 

“Keep on with your list.” Gerard ordered simply as he continued working and Frank took a hold of his clipboard and slid down the wall, folding his legs as he looked at it, biting his lip.

 

“Fellatio: giving head, a blow-job, going down on someone, being face fucked, the act of sucking or licking a penis, or having a penis inserted in the mouth. Yes. Fetish, Fetishism: an unusual obsession with something. Like a leather fetish, a latex fetish or a shoe fetish, fetishes are only limited by the human imagination. Yes. Fetish Attire: clothes that reflect the wearer’s particular fetish, such as leather, latex, rubber or high heels. Yes.”

 

“Frank?” 

 

“Yes, sir?” Frank looked up solemnly at his boss who was peering back over the top of his laptop at his assistant on the floor.

 

“Do me a favour, boy.” 

 

“Anything, sir.” Frank set the clipboard down.

 

“Come sit here, please.” Gerard patted the empty desk chair and Frank got up, taking the markers with him before he walked over and sat himself back in his spot on the right of Gerard, “Do you understand why you were expostulated, boy? Why I had to discipline you verbally?”

 

“I was being inappropriate, sir.” Frank looked down at his hands.

 

“And?”

 

“And I won’t… Won’t do it again?” Frank offered up uneasily, looking up at Gerard, waiting to see if he had gotten it right.

 

“Good boy.” Gerard gave him a small but reassuring leg squeeze, “Very good.”

 

“Thank you, sir.” Frank nodded, “Sir?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Should I keep going?”

 

“Please.”

 

“Fig- Figging? Is this what you told me to look out for?” Frank frowned, instantly seeing the expression of total smugness on Gerard’s face, complete and utter gratification in it’s purest form.

 

“You said spicy.” Was Gerard’s only comment as he continued typing away.

 

“Figging: The practice of inserting a piece of gin- ginger root?! ...into the anus or vagina. Inserting a piece of fresh, skinless ginger into the rectum which causes a hot burning sensation without any lasting damage. Wh- This is a thing? Who the fuck thought of this and how did they find out? I mean- I- Just…”

 

“Think about that next time you steal my ginger tea without asking, boy.”

 

Frank pursed his lips in annoyance at his boss, ‘hmph’-ing softly as he decided on whether or not he wanted ginger in his asshole, deciding on striking it through with yellow to be safe before he continued, “Fire play: using fire as an implement of BDSM. This can mean blowing the heat of a light torch onto a bottom- oh god- lighting pools of fuel on the bottom's skin, lightening flash cotton on the bottom, and other creative uses of heat. Yes- I- Maybe. Maybe. Fisting: inserting a hand into the vagina or rectum. Maybe. Flagellation: BDSM-related whipping, beating and spanking for erotic stimulation. Yes. Green. Flogger: a multi-tailed leather implement. Sounds heavenly. Flogging: using a ‘flogger’ on a submissive. Please do.”

 

“Next time you have an outburst like that, I just might.” Gerard muttered softly and Frank felt his heart jump at the very idea, his skin tingling slightly under his clothes.

 

“Um…” Frank fought for concentration, “Foley Catheter: type of catheter that can be inflated with sterile water. No bueno. Following orders. Yes. Foot Worship: a foot fetish where the submissive worships the Dominant's feet, usually in high heel shoes or boots. Definitely. Forced masturbation, oh yes. Forced nudity. Totally. Forced servitude, Can do. Freeplay: BDSM play where there is no Domination or submission. For sure.”

 

“Good.” Gerard smiled, “Sometimes a break is good for you.”

 

“Frenum: Piercing the surface of the penis shaft- Hey, that’s what I have.” Frank grinned as he striped the word in green, “That’s awesome. Gaffer’s Tape: duct tape. You don’t say? Green. Gags: a gag is a device worn in or on the mouth to prevent the wearer from speaking or for muffling sounds. Green. Gauge: system of grading the thickness, the lower the number, the thicker the wire or material. Green, I guess? Genitorture: torture of the genitals. There’s that word again. But yes. Good pain: ‘good pain’ is pain that is mutually agreed, desired or permitted by the submissive partner to be experienced, and seen by them as of enjoyment or value, sensations that non-practitioners imagine to be painful are instead perceived and described by BDSM practitioners as pleasurable or a good form of pain.... In much the way that muscles after a workout at the gym may be sore, but in a good way. The transition of perception from ‘bad pain’ to ‘good pain’ may require a warm up beforehand. I’m still in for that.”

 

“It does sometimes require the submissive to be given examples of the two to understand the difference.” Gerard began, “No, I’m not going to break your leg but a demonstration helps the body figure out which is which after a while.”

 

“I’m okay with that.” Frank answered earnestly, smiling as Gerard gave him an appraising touch to the leg yet again, “Golden showers- ah, yes. Yes please. Gorean: a subgenre based upon the rituals and practices created within the world of Gor in the erotic novels by John Norman. Gorean culture is based on stereotypical gender-based roles which is considered by many to be in conflict with BDSM, where there is freedom for either gender to act in any role. What?”

 

“Ah,” Gerard turned from his work to look at Frank, “It’s somewhat like our lifestyle but there are many differences too. It was created based on a set of books. The differences are mainly to do with gender roles and a lot of people don’t find it as fair as BDSM is.”

 

“Example?”

 

“An example would be that in Gor it is not Master and slave, it is Master and kajira, and the kajira is always a woman. In Gor, the kajira owns nothing of their property whereas in BDSM the submissive is likely to own or at least co-own. In Gor, there are no safewords or signals, merely trust unlike BDSM. Gor is based, also, upon nature.”

 

“How so?”

 

“Nature is paramount to their lifestyle. Paramount. One must live in cooperation with nature and not harm the earth or natural resources but in Bondage, it can be merely considered and negotiated, but not necessary.” Gerard explained, “There is also no consent, not a consideration. True slaves or kajira are expected to want nothing but to please Master. Whereas in our lifestyle it is one of the core and paramount details. Casual at first, followed by SSC- Safe Sane Consensual-, which may develop into RACK- Risk Aware Consensual Kink and then Edge Slave training.”

 

“Those last bits…” Frank asked and Gerard chuckled.

 

“You’ll get there.” He assured warmly.

 

“You swear?” Frank asked, looking up at Gerard at a slightly sideways angle, biting nervously on his lip as Gerard leaned in.

 

“I’ll make sure of it, boy. Trust your Master.”


	34. Chapter 31: "It's not so Bad When You Get Used to It"

"Is that really the time?" Frank asked when he saw the clock on the wall, showing him that it was nearly six in the evening already. He should have noticed by the fact that it was starting to get dark outside, but he hadn't been paying attention to that. He had been more focussed on the thick wad of contract that was on the desk in front of him. Frank set the marker he had been holding down onto the desk, rubbing his eyes in an attempt to stop them from feeling so dry and tired, "I didn't realise that I'd been here all afternoon since we got back."

  
"We didn't get back until a little later than planned," Gerard reminded Frank of their slightly extended lunch break, not taking his eyes away from the computer while he typed away, "Plus you have been preoccupied."   
  
"True," Frank sighed, looking down at the contract that lay out in front of him. All he had done since they got back was the contract, having decided to re-read what he had signed agreed to, wanting to refresh himself after lunch. He felt like he had done nothing all afternoon now, even though he was pretty sure that Gerard would have seen this as the most important thing he could have done all day, "I just feel bad. Haven't exactly done any work all day."   
  
"Don't worry about it," Gerard brushed off Frank's comment quickly, "I told Derek that I was training you some more so he's been filling in for you."   
  
"Is that what we are calling this now, huh?" Frank raised an eyebrow at Gerard, eyeing him up, placing one hand on top of the contract, "My training?"   
  
"Well it is, isn't it?" Gerard responded rather bluntly, looking at Frank like it should have been obvious, "I wasn't lying when I told Derek that I was going to be training you."   
  
"You just bent the truth," Frank smirked, leaning back in his chair, feeling his back ache from the way he had been leaning forward for so long, looking over the contract, "I get it. No one will ever know what happened behind your closed door."   
  
"Good," Gerard nodded. He took a moment away from what he was doing, looking over his work while he ran his hands through his hair, scratching at the back of his head, "But I think that is enough for today. You have done well boy, I'm impressed. Covered more than I expected."   
  
Yeah, me too," Frank nodded, thumbing through the lengthy contract, letting the pages he was holding fall back down onto the pile that he was still going to have to go through, “I take it I'm finishing this off tomorrow?"   
  
"Probably a good idea. You don't want to overwhelm yourself in one sitting,” Gerard agreed whilst shutting down his email before switching off his computer, "Plus, I would like to go home."   
  
"Yeah," Frank tried to sound like he was cool about the idea of going home, but to him, home meant going back to his crummy motel room. Gerard started packing away his things while Frank just sat there, hating the idea of going home. Going home to sit alone in his dated motel room which really could have done with being redecorated and having a deep clean, Frank really didn't want to do that, but the thing was, he also didn't want to bring up his new living arrangements with Gerard. He was embarrassed about it to say the least. Twenty two years old and barely able to afford that kind of place, the shame crept down Franks spine almost immediately while he remained in his chair, "Should probably go home too…"   
  
"I didn't notice your car in the parking lot this morning," Gerard commented while he stood up, buttoning up his jacket before pocketing his phone. The beat up dirty off white ride that Gerard knew to be Frank's car was not in its space this morning and Frank had forgotten to mention anything about how he had gotten into work when Gerard had asked him how he was. Frank had just nodded, saying that he was okay, not at all pissed off and ignoring the fact that he hadn't been able to get his car to start this morning. His car was still sat parked up in the motel parking lot having been kicked by Frank when he got out of the car, cursing, knowing full well that he wouldn't be able to pay to get his car fixed because he had just paid the rent on his room. A roof over his head was more important, plus he knew that he could probably do with the exercise as he walked into work, "Did you walk to the office this morning?"   
  
"Yeah, I did," Frank nodded, finally standing up himself, pulling his suit jacket from the back of the chair he had been sat on, putting it on while he continued to talk, avoiding eye contact with Gerard because he knew why he had walked, he just didn't want Gerard to know the full details, "I had car trouble this morning so it was easier to walk in."   
  
"Nothing wrong with the old diamond buggy I hope?" Gerard questioned, even though he was surprised that Frank's car still ran. It looked like the kind of car that deserved a nice resting place on some scrap heap, but somehow Frank still drove the painted white bucket of rust into work every morning. It still ran, or at least it used to.   
  
"I don't know," Frank sighed, knowing that even if he did know why his car hadn't wanted to start this morning, it wasn't like he was going to be able to afford it. God knows when he was going to be able to pay for his car being fixed, but at least he was now living walking distance away from work. At least he had that so he could just brush this all under the carpet and pretend that everything was okay, even though it wasn't, "I'll get it in the shop. Get it fixed."   
  
Not that Frank knew when he was going to be able to. It was probably going to be a few months before he would be able to get his car back on the road. Maybe even longer. He didn't know and to be perfectly honest, even though he hated the motel he was living in, he knew that he had to pay for that first because he really didn't want to end up having to live in his broken down car. That really would have been rock bottom for him and Frank did not want to reach that point in his life, ever.   
  
"Good," Gerard spoke, nodding at Franks reply, "So were you planning on walking back as well?"   
  
"No," Frank admitted as he took note of how dark it was getting outside now, grabbing his phone from his pocket, "I was going to call a cab, sir."   
  
It seemed like a good thing to do. As much as Frank knew that he could have walked home easily enough, while also making it back in good time, he just couldn't be bothered to. His daily quota of exercise was done and the idea of being driven home seemed far better than having to walk back in the dark. At least he could afford the cab for the time being. He still had enough money for the time being to be chauffeured back to the cesspool that he had to call home for the foreseeable future.   
  
"You do know that I could drive you home," Gerard told Frank while he opened up his browser on his phone, looking up the number for a local taxi firm.   
  
"You don't have to do that sir," Frank brushed off Gerard offer, choosing to continue his search on who was going to be the lucky taxi driver who was going to take him home tonight. Probably judge him to a degree as well they pulled up to where he was living, watching him get out of the taxi before questioning how a finally well dressed guy like him was going to a shit hole like the motel he lived in.   
  
"I am more than happy to take you home," Gerard insisted, grabbing his bag before setting it down on the desk, "Plus as your Master and a gentleman, I will not take no for an answer."   
  
"But-"   
  
"No buts," Gerard piped up, cutting Frank off before he had a chance to say that he was more than happy to take a taxi home so Gerard wouldn't have to go out of his way or see where in the world Frank was actually living now, "You really must learn that arguing will get you nowhere other than across my lap and on the receiving end of a spanking."   
  
Frank shrank back and held back a whimper at the idea of Gerard doing that to him. Clenching his ass at the mere thought of Gerard putting him across his lap and spanking him, Frank didn't even know how to respond to that. Did he want to continue arguing because the idea had such an effect on him that he was at a point of wanting it done to him, or should he just give in and let Gerard do what he insisted on doing.    
  
"You're considering it aren't you?" Gerard queried, making Frank wonder how in the hell he was able to read him so well. Maybe the pink tinge that had spread across Franks cheeks was a give away, but Frank brushed it off casually when he knew that he would at least like to be able to sit down to finish off his contract.   
  
"No I'm not," Frank lied, not even looking at Gerard while he shut down his phone, locking the screen before pocketing it. As much as he didn’t want Gerard knowing where he was living, he knew that he couldn’t keep arguing with him. As much as the idea of being spanked seemed very interesting and something that Frank knew he shouldn’t have been getting on board with right now, he also did want to go home, home being somewhere much more fancier than his current digs, but the motel would have to do for the time being, “I was taking you up on your offer of driving me home.”

 

Reluctantly. Frank wondered if he could get away with telling Gerard that he lived somewhere not too far away from the motel in an attempt to save some dignity. Then when Gerard was out of sight he could just walk the rest of the way home, hoping not to get stabbed or robbed because of the area he was currently residing in. It seemed like a perfect plan, even if the idea of lying to Gerard seemed like the worst thing he could do. He just didn’t want him to see where he was living. That was all. Frank was ashamed enough already without having more shame piling on top of him when Gerard turned his nose up at the place.

 

“Good boy,” Gerard said, expressing how he was happy that Frank had decided not to continue arguing with him over this silly matter of him being driven home. Gerard picked up the contract, making sure it was all in order before he placed it in his bag, noticing the confusion that was on Frank's face while he did it, “I will look after this. Don't want anyone accidentally finding this, plus this is your contract. Your possession, so therefore it is mine to hold and look after.”

 

“Yeah, of course,” Frank remembered what had had been read in the contract. His jack squat was now Gerard's. He had signed everything over so really the contract being taken shouldn't have been something that made him wonder what Gerard was doing, “I’ll just grab my bag from my desk then.”

 

“Please do,” Gerard said, following Frank out of the office, both of them noticing how they were the last in the building, “Meet me by my car. I'll be out in a second when I've made sure everything is in order before we go.”

 

Frank did as he was told, slinging his bag over his shoulder before leaving the building. He walked to the lot around the back of the building, pushing his hands into his pockets when he got to Gerard’s car, waiting for him to turn up. Frank looked over the car that was currently in Gerard’s space. The black Mercedes which made Frank feel jealous because he knew that he would never be able to afford to drive anything like that. He couldn’t even afford to drive his own beat up old Golf, but at least he was getting driven home, even if he did wish that it was maybe some unknown taxi driver who was escorting him back to his place.

 

Frank thought about how he could get around telling Gerard where he lived. As much as he thought getting him to drop him off about a block away from the motel was a good idea, he knew that it wasn’t. He just couldn’t bring himself to lie to Gerard. He just hated the fact that Gerard was going to see where he was living, especially when he had a house that Frank could easily die for. If only he had better accommodation, then he would have the worrying shame sat in the pit of his stomach right now. The feeling that spiked up into his esophagus when Gerard appeared a few minutes later, holding his car keys in his hand while he walked over to the car, unlocking it from button on the keys.

 

“Remember what I said to you about doors, boy?” Gerard tested Frank, watching him jump when he realised what he had to do. Moving quickly, Frank went to the driver's door, opening it, holding it open for Gerard while he got in, “And I also decide where you sit in the car too. If you wouldn’t mind, I would prefer it if you sat next to me tonight, in the front.”

 

Frank thanked Gerard, maybe wishing that he could have sat in the back so he could hide the embarrassment that was going to creep over him when Gerard saw where he lived. Still, he meant it when he thanked him, closing the drivers door before going around the car to get in himself, dumping his bag into the footwell before clipping in his seatbelt. 

 

“So where am I driving you to?” Gerard queried while he started up the car. Frank felt his mouth go dry at the question, the idea of telling Gerard exactly where to take him becoming daunting while he sat in the passenger seat, his hands in his lap, trying to think of anything to say that wouldn’t reveal where Gerard was going to be taking him to.

 

“I’ll give you directions,” Frank told him, feeling a bit calmer now. His secret was still hidden, at least for the time being until he knew that he was eventually going to have to tell Gerard to turn into the parking lot that was in front of the motel, “Is that okay, sir?”   
  
“Not a problem,” Gerard said before reversing out of the parking space, listening to Frank give him the first direction, “As long as we get there eventually.”

 

“We will,” Frank sighed, hating how they were probably only about ten to fifteen minutes away from his destination. Ten to fifteen minutes away from Gerard judging his new abode, “Turn right at these lights.”

 

The sat in relative silence, the only time Frank spoke was when he guided Gerard, telling him which road to turn down, bringing him closer and closer to the motel. Frank tried not to let himself worry about Gerard’s reaction. He was anxious enough about it already so worrying more was not going to do him any favours. Plus Frank was curious, thoughts going through his head over how Gerard had reacted in the office earlier when he said the one thing that he had marked through in red on the contract. 

 

The one word linked to things that he wished he could mark through in red more times than was probably possible. Frank knew he had only said the word to get a reaction from Gerard, gauge exactly how he would be if Frank suddenly said it without warning, but he barely got anything. Nothing that shocked him. No telling off for saying it, no look of disgust because he knew it was a hard limit for Gerard. He just brushed it off like it was nothing, stating that he didn’t like it anymore. That had Frank sitting in the passenger seat of the car, looking at Gerard in the corner of his eye, rolling the ball of his tongue piercing against his teeth while he wondered if he could question about it.

 

It would have been a harmless question. He just wanted to get a better understanding as to why it was a hard limit even though he had barely reacted to it. Frank felt like there was nothing wrong with his curiosity, so he didn’t stop himself at all or worry when he decided that he needed to ask Gerard. Break the silence that had only had directions dispersed into it.

 

“Sir…” Frank started, looking at Gerard who let out a  _ mhmm _ sound, “Can I ask you a question?”   
  
“Of course you can, boy,” Gerard told him, glancing over at Frank for a second before his eyes were back on the road, “Do you have another question about the contract?”   
  
“Kind of,” Frank said, hoping that he wasn’t trying to get too personal again, like he had done in the restaurant. He didn’t see his question as anything too personal. If anything it was just that he wanted to understand why Gerard had this as a hard limit. What if Frank had swiped the green marker over everything that came along with the word Daddy? What if Gerard had still said no to all of it? Would Frank be denied the reason as to why Gerard was so against it, “I know why the whole Daddy stuff is a hard limit for me, but why is it such a hard limit for you?”   
  
Frank swore that he could see Gerard grip onto the steering wheel tighter when he asked his question. It had to just be a trick of the light though because Gerard was calm, even if he did sigh, following Frank's directions again when he told him to take the next left turning.

 

“Was me saying that I don’t like it not enough for you, boy?” Gerard shot back at Frank, turning the car down a road, Frank not even worrying about how they were getting closer to the motel. He was more interested in getting to the bottom of why Gerard had said that he didn’t like it anymore. There had to be a reason and Frank just wanted to understand. 

 

“But you said that you don’t like it anymore,” Frank pointed out, reminding Gerard of what he had said, “Did you like it at one point, sir?”   
  
Gerard sighed again, stopping the car as they came up to a set of lights. Frank watched Gerard in the red glow from the stop sign, watching him sigh again, raking his hands through his hair. He looked like he was about to answer, on the brink of finally giving Frank a better understanding, but he held back, looking at the red light shining into the car, mulling over his words momentarily.

 

“I did,” Gerard finally said something, making Frank look at him while he spoke, “I never thought I would. I’m not the type to be someone’s carer when it comes to this kind of thing, but Billie…” Gerard stopped himself, pausing for a moment. Frank felt like he was on the edge of his seat, so close to finding out why, hanging on Gerard's words just so they could finally put this to bed and have done with it, “Billie was a little. You do know what I mean by that, don’t you, boy?”

 

Frank looked at Gerard uneasily, not sure if they had gone over this in the contract yet. If they had, then maybe he had missed it, or forgotten about it. Frank felt bad, but he couldn’t help it. He had taken in a lot of information. There was always the risk of something slipping through this early on.

 

“A little,” Gerard carried on when Frank hadn’t nodded at his question, “A little is the most common term for the submissive’s role in an ageplay relationship. A little is known as the role of the child that the Daddy has to look after. Their ages can vary from person to person, but usually they are around the baby or toddler age group. Some can go up to age of about eight, but they rarely don’t tend to go that high. The most common ages are around one to four years old...and that was what Billie was. I was Billie’s Daddy and I tried to make it work, but we had chemistry issues. It wasn’t working and I wasn’t into it. I’m still not into it. That’s why it is a hard limit for me.”

 

Frank sat there speechless. He just assumed that Gerard would give him some well worded explanation as to why he didn’t like it and why it was a hard limit for him. He never expected Gerard to come out with an answer as personal as that. Frank just looked at Gerard, trying to see it in him, the whole Daddy side, but he just couldn’t. He couldn’t picture him looking after a grown up child. He just didn’t seem like the kind of person who would be able to do that. Clearly he had tried, but thankfully he didn’t do it anymore. This whole ageplay thing really wasn’t something that Frank was into at all, “I’m honestly grateful that you’re not into it, but just…”

 

“Just?”

 

“Why did you tell me if it was something so personal to you?” Frank frowned, watching Gerard before telling him to turn right, “I knew that I overstepped a line in the restaurant but, I didn’t know I had done now.”

 

“Well I realised that I got to know a lot about you today,” Gerard responded, turning where Frank had told him to go, “It is only fair. I know a lot about you now, you know something about me.”

 

Frank wanted to say something about how he appreciated Gerard opening up to him, being honest with him about something that they both agreed was a hard limit for them, but Frank didn’t say anything when he realised that they were less than a minute away from the motel. he had completely pushed aside the fact that Gerard was driving him towards the most shameful place probably known to man. Or at least known to him. Frank hated the fact that he was going to have to tell Gerard that they were nearly there. So close, he wished that he could just get Gerard to drop him off here, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. It would have been weird if just told Gerard to stop right now halfway down the road before telling him that he would see him tomorrow. Frank knew that he was just going to have to suck up the shame and embarrassment that was swirling around in his stomach. Deal with it as he told Gerard to take the second turning on the left.

 

“Never expected you to live in this area.” Gerard commented casually, even though his words made Frank want to sink in his seat, cover up his face and hide that fact that he did in fact live in this part of town. The not so nice area where Frank was pretty sure that some of his neighbours definitely got up to some shady stuff at night. 

 

“Me neither,” Frank muttered under his breath as Gerard took the turning he had told him to take, pulling into the motel parking lot. Frank tried to gauge Gerard’s reaction as he slowed the car down, stopping in a parking space not far from where his car was sat. He was practically unreadable, Frank couldn’t tell what Gerard was thinking or even about to say while his coping mechanism kicked in. Trying to hide the shame, Frank spoke, cracking a fake smile as he looked out at the stretch of building that was now technically his home, “Well, here we are then…”   
  
“This is where you live?” Gerard asked, turning the key in the ignition, the car falling silent which added to the tension that Frank was feeling while he watched Gerard look out at the motel. Frank nodded, not even able to answer Gerard properly as he reached down into the footwell, grabbing at his bag.

 

Frank wondered why Gerard couldn’t take his eyes off the place. It wasn’t like it was five star accommodation that Frank could brag about. It was so far from it and he really hoped that Gerard wasn’t about to judge him for this. He looked like the motel was like something disgusting that he had trodden on. Looking horrified, Frank tried to ignore his expression while he unclipped his seat belt, reaching out to open his door.

 

“I guess I will see you usual time tomorrow yes, sir?” Frank asked, hoping that he could just get out of this situation as quickly as possible. God knows what Gerard was going to say to him about the motel. He probably had a list longer than his contract which would have been filled with his opinion on the motel, but he still remained silent, unable to say anything, completely shocked that Frank was actually living in a place as destitute as this.

 

Frank got out of the car when Gerard hadn’t responded to him. He assumed that Gerard was probably speechless over his accommodation. Completely shocked and stunned to the point he couldn’t speak. Like the time Frank had turned up in Ryan's god awful clothes. It felt very similar to that, like Frank was standing in front of him again, baring all to him while the embarrassment threatened to cripple him. But there was movement. Seconds later, the drivers door opened and Gerard climbed out, closing the door behind him while he continued to look over the motel that they had arrived at.

 

“What are you doing, sir?” Frank asked nervously, wondering why Gerard had felt the need to get out of the car. Clearly he stuck out like a sore thumb in this area, a well dressed man in a run down motel parking lot. He should have just stayed in the car, leaving Frank to go to his room, driving off just to get away from this horrid place. He didn’t though. Instead, Gerard locked up his car, pocketing his keys before he looked over the car at Frank.

 

“I never took you as the kind of person who would live in such a wonderful place like this…” Gerard said, the sarcasm cutting through Frank to the point he groaned, hanging his head in shame while he put his bag over his shoulder, “I’m curious to see just what your living arrangements are like, before I judge the appearance of this motel.”

 

Please no, Frank thought, hating the fact that Gerard was showing such an interest now. He shouldn’t have done. he should have just dropped him off and left him to it, but no, Gerard asked Frank to lead the way, going to walk behind him. It felt like a walk of shame for Frank. Keeping his head hung low, Frank walked towards the motel, going up the stairs to get to his place, feeling so uneasy and agitated about the fact that Gerard was right behind him. Probably jumping to his own conclusions about the place right now as Frank pulled his keys out of his bag, coming to a stop in front of his room.

 

“This is only temporary,” Frank reassured Gerard almost immediately, like he was trying to justify why he was here to his boss. His Master. The title making this moment in time so much worse for him as he pushed the key into the lock, turning it, opening the door, “I’m only here until I get back on my feet.”

 

Frank held the door open for Gerard, screwing his eyes shut when he felt him brush past him, stepping into his not so new home. Frank didn’t want to open his eyes. He didn’t even want to consider the fact that Gerard was, right now, in his shitty little dated motel room that had definitely seen better days. Frank did open his eyes though, he couldn’t bare the idea of hiding away while Gerard inspected, scrutinised and judged his place. He deserved it, or at least the motel deserved it, but Frank really didn’t want to come face to face with what Gerard might actually have to say about this. His opinion on the motel room and Frank's decision to live here was something that worried Frank. 

 

Frank finally stepped into his room, watching Gerard carefully, seeing how he was looking around at the small one room living area that Frank now had. Stood at the foot of the bed, Gerard looked around, taking a quick step towards the bathroom, switching the light on before he ducked his head in to see what it was like. Frank just stood near the open door, fiddling with his hands to help calm himself down while he looked over the one place that he had to call home right now.

 

And the worst thing was that he had forgotten to make his bed this morning. Living in such shabby conditions already, Frank had given up on neatening out his bedding once he got up every morning now. Frank blushed at the idea of Gerard seeing his unmade bed, even though there was definitely more concerning things about the room that Gerard was focussing on.

 

Plus Gerard would have said something about the neatness of his bedding if he wasn’t so disgusted. Gerard was speechless, beyond gobsmacked at how Frank was living right now.

 

“It’s not so bad when you get used to it.” Frank had to speak up, hoping to alleviate some of the tension that had surrounded him the moment Gerard set foot into his room. Nothing could stop it though, Frank felt like he wanted the ground to swallow him whole, let him get away from this humiliating moment in time where Gerard was looking down his nose at everything that Frank had to keep himself going. 

 

The microwave sat on top of the fridge. The outdated TV which didn’t work, though Frank had been told that it would be fixed by the end of the week, if he was lucky. The carpet, which Gerard cautiously lifted his shoe up from, noticing how it was a little on the sticky side. This was the roof over Frank's head. This was all he had right now and Frank didn’t even want to be here to see Gerard judge it all and question why the wallpaper was peeling away from the ceiling.

 

Gerard didn’t say a word to Frank. He hadn’t said a word since he had set foot into his room. All he had done was look around, cautiously stepping into the bathroom for a second. He had looked over everything before he noticed a suitcase on top of the cheap looking wardrobe. Gerard assumed it was Frank's, grabbing at it before he set it down on the floor, opening it up so he could start packing.

 

“What are you doing?” Frank frowned, completely baffled as he watched Gerard grab his clothes from the wardrobe, putting them in the suitcase quickly. 

 

Gerard was about to answer his question, about to let Frank know that there was no way he was going to let him live in such squalid conditions, but something caught Gerard's eye which had him halting. The words never left his mouth as he reached out and found something that Frank had even thought about Gerard finding, ever.

 

“What is this?” Gerard asked curiously after finding the dildo and peach lube hidden behind his underwear. Frank's eyes went wide and he felt his whole body freeze when Gerard pulled the two items out of their hiding place, holding them out for him to see, waiting for Frank to answer his question.

 

Frank opened his mouth to answer, but an answer wasn’t what left him. An embarrassed squark left him before he began to pace, his hands going up to his face to hide the hot blush that spread across it immediately. Frank didn’t know what to say. The obvious and grown up thing to say was that yes, he owned a sex toy, but having Gerard find it, having him holding it out while he looked at it, inspecting it, Frank couldn’t bring himself to say anything other than what did finally leave his mouth.

 

“Oh god,” Frank finally said, his voice shaking as he came to a stop by his bed, collapsing over on it in an attempt to hide himself from the humiliating moment that was happening right now, bent over. If only he could bury himself in the bedding, then he could remove himself from the situation, pretend that this wasn’t happening right now while he pressed his face into the duvet, “Oh god, oh god, oh god…”   
  
“Yes, I’m sure you say that a lot while you’re using it,” Gerard commented, making Frank want to curl up into the tightest ball possible on his bed while the embarrassment took over him. Gerard, however was highly amused about it. He inspected the dildo with a look of wonder on his face, observing the length and girth of the sex toy, “But this...I really wasn’t expecting to find something like this.”

 

“It's not what it looks like.” Frank said, even though it really was what it looked like, a sex toy which Gerard had gone and found and was more than interesting in now.

 

“I think it is,” Gerard smirked, looking at Frank who had peeked out from the folds of his bedding, still in a state of embarrassing panic, watching Gerard handle one of the things he had used while fantasising about him. It was like his worst nightmare. Gerard finding the one thing he had used to replicate him, “This is exactly what it looks like. I just didn't expect you to own one that was so life-like.”

 

“It’s just Jim,” Frank muttered into the duvet, hoping that Gerard wouldn't hear his short monologue explaining it. He had done though, find it more and more amusing that Frank had actually named it, chuckling it himself while Frank finally built up the courage to not hide away. Picking himself up from the folds of his unmade bed, he brushed down his work clothes, clearing his throat while hoping that the pink blush that had taken over his face wasn't noticeable, even though it was, “It’s nothing. So what?” Frank tried to play it off cool, walking over to Gerard, taking the dildo out of his hands before dropping it into the suitcase, “It’s just a dildo.”

 

“You really are full of surprises.” Gerard smirked, shaking his head slightly before he continued on with what he had started to do. Packing up Frank's things, “Never cease to amaze me.”

 

“What exactly are you doing?” Frank asked again, seeing as they had been interrupted by the discover of the dildo and lube. He watched over Gerard, looking at the pile of his clothes that were starting to build up in his suitcase.

 

“It is the norm for a sub to live with his Master,” Gerard began to explain while he picked up Frank's sneakers cautiously, the beaten old pair of shoes being held between his thumb and forefinger before he dropped them into the suitcase, “So the Dom has complete control over their submissive. I wasn't going to start it until you had finished your contract, but with the state of your living arrangements, there is no way I can let you live here for a moment longer.”

 

“It's not that bad.” Frank reminded him weakly. Gerard just scoffed at Frank's attempt to defend the motel which really was the worst motel he had ever come across. 

 

“Really?” Gerard snorted, dropping t-shirts into the suitcase, “I've seen derelict properties in better conditions than this. You can't continue living here. You are coming home with me.”

 

“But I haven't finished my contract.” Frank protested, feeling bad about the fact that he was making Gerard have to do this before they had even finished the important part of their relationship.

 

“You can finish it tonight,” Gerard told him, disappearing into the bathroom for a moment, grabbing the last of Frank's things before he put them into the suitcase, zipping it up, “Once you have settled in you can carry on from where you left off.”

 

“Okay.” Frank nodded uneasily, hoping that he wasn't making Gerard have to go out of his way because of himself. He felt bad, but Gerard seemed more than adamant that he was leaving this motel tonight. There was no way he was staying another night in this place and Gerard was sure of it.

 

“Take your bag, boy,” Gerard instructed, heading towards the door, “I will see you down by the car. Just going to go and let the owner of this place know that you are moving out right now.”

 

Frank did as he was told, lugging his suitcase out of the room and down the stairs. He dragged it over to the car before waiting, leaning against the side of the car with his hands stuffed inside his pockets. 

 

Gerard was only gone a few minutes. He was gone long enough for Frank to come to terms with the fact that this was happening. The fact that the contract wasn’t finished didn’t matter. Right now he was moving in with Gerard and that felt huge, like this was actually happening and neither of them were backing out of this. 

 

He felt a little overwhelmed for a second, but Frank snapped out of it when he saw Gerard walking towards him, walking in the same way that had Frank's insides melting. How could someone walking towards him, Gerard walking towards him, have such an effect on him? Probably because of what he was to Frank now, what he would be once the contract was done and it hit midnight. Then it would all be real and Gerard wouldn’t just be his boss. He would be his Master and that made Frank's insides do the same twisting sensation that he had been feeling ever since he first started crushing on him. Back before he knew what he was, who he was, back before Frank even knew what he was going to be getting himself into.

 

“All sorted,” Gerard said quickly, walking to the back of his car to open up the trunk. He picked up Frank’s suitcase for him, putting it into the car before Frank knew what he had to do. Moving around the car while Gerard closed the trunk, he opened up the driver's door, waiting patiently for Gerard to get in, “You’re getting the hang of this too, boy. Front seat again, please.”

 

Frank thanked Gerard before shutting the door, doing the same as what he had done earlier. Walking around the car to get in where Gerard had told him too. He slid back into his seat, fastening his seatbelt as Gerard started the car, pulling out of the parking space. Frank noticed his car, wondering what was going to happen with that, seeing as Gerard was driving him back to his house. That was the least of his worries right now though, he was leaving the motel and was coming to terms with the fact that this was actually happening. Rather fast as well. 

 

As much as this was something that he had agreed to, signing his name on the contract, it just seemed to be going a little faster than he had thought it would. Not that he would say anything, Frank remained quiet in his seat, staying quiet for most of the journey back to Gerard’s, looking over at him occasionally, letting it sink in that as of midnight, Gerard was going to be his Master. The one person he would submit to, worship the ground he walked on like some God, the only person that he had eyes for and vice versa.

 

The journey back remained quiet. Gerard spoke occasionally, Frank answered him, but for the rest of the journey back to his house, Frank remained quiet, thinking, feeling nervous and excited all at once. A strange yet probably completely normal set of emotions for what he was getting involved in. The roads eventually became familiar and soon Gerard was pulling his car into his driveway. Frank sat back in his seat, taking in the house again, finding it hard to believe that this was where he was going to be living now. It certainly beat the shitty motel by a country mile. This was luxury compared to what he had come from. Almost too good to be true, even though Gerard pulled his car into the carport, switching off the engine before turning to look at Frank.  

 

“Well, here we are then,” Gerard mimicked what Frank had said earlier, getting out of the car. Frank followed, grabbing his suitcase out of the trunk. He trailed not far behind Gerard, trying to keep up with him as he tugged his suitcase along with him. Gerard opened the front door, walking into the house. Frank followed in, watching him kick his shoes off before pushing them to the side of the entrance way, “First rule that you must follow, no shoes on in the house, that is unless you want Lindsey scolding you for ruining her carpets.”

 

Frank chuckled at that before he saw the look on Gerards face.

 

“Oh, you think I'm joking?” Gerard shot back, making Frank wipe the smirk off his face rapidly, “She will not hesitate to tell you off if she sees you traipsing dirty footprints across her carpets. Trust me, I know.”

 

Frank fought back a smirk then, trying to picture how someone like Lindsey could tell off someone like Gerard. Clearly it was possible though, Frank had been witness to her dragging him out of the kitchen by his ear the morning after they had slept together. Gerard may have been in charge of him, but he could tell that Lindsey definitely had some charge over him when it came to matters of the house.

 

“Follow me,” Gerard waved a hand a Frank once he had removed his shoes, pushing them to one side. Frank did as he was told, bringing his suitcase along when Gerard told him to bring it. Going through the front room, Frank remembered the last time he was here. How far he had come since that one night which he thought he would never get again. How wrong was he though, even as Gerard started to walk up the stairs, still getting him to follow, “Let me show you to where you will be staying.”


	35. Chapter 32: The Essence of Pleasure is Spontaneity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Parker writes an amazing sex scene, that's all I is saying.
> 
> Any errors, apologies, but we think we got them all :)

It was when they reached the door to what Frank assumed to be Gerard’s bedroom that he realised what his new Master was implying. Frank froze, eyes widened at the prospect of sharing a bedroom with someone so early, so soon, sleeping next to someone and being so vulnerable yet again. Frank had barely adjusted to sleeping by himself after all that time and now he was being crammed into his boss’ bed. Granted, he knew that he wanted nothing less than that, he wanted to all but dive into Gerard’s sheets but he hadn’t expected it to be so quick.

 

He had expected the blowjob, yes. But everything that had happened up until this point wasn’t even expected in his wildest dreams. But here he was, bags and all and it was snowballing out of his own hands and right into Gerard’s.

 

“I uh…” Frank piped up as Gerard put a hand on the doorknob, “Wait.”

 

“What is it, boy?”

 

“I just…” Frank squirmed uncomfortably as he set his suitcase down beside him and looked down the hallway to the room he had spent the night in previously, “I don’t know if I’m comfortable with this…”

 

“With living here?” Gerard frowned, seemingly impatient, “You could have said-”

 

“No no-” Frank interjected, jumping slightly, “No- I mean… With us sharing a room. I mean this has all happened so fast. I’ve gone from being half-ignored by you to living with you in a matter of hours and I haven’t even finished my contract. It’s not even midnight either so we’re not even official.”

 

“You do have a point.” Gerard dropped his hand from his bedroom door, “An excellent point, as it were. Would you prefer to sleep separately until you finish your contract, boy?”

 

“Yes please…” Frank muttered, “May- Maybe that room that I stayed in last time?”

 

“Of course.” Gerard held out an arm, gesturing to the door down the hallway as Frank picked up his case and walked toward it, instantly feeling a wave of relief as he walked further and further away from Gerard’s bedroom. He had no idea what it even looked like and yet, he was terrified of it.

 

But he wouldn’t dare tell Gerard that, no. He didn’t want to admit that things were moving too fast, he just assumed it was his nerves acting up like they did. He knew that once he was settled in that it wouldn’t be so bad. He was just being anxious and rightly so considering how badly Ryan had messed with his head.

 

They stopped at the door and Frank looked at it, reaching out slowly to open the wooden separation, his nerve-endings tingling at the feel of the cold metal in his palm, the familiarity having his heart race.

 

“Home sweet home, boy.” Gerard stated simply as Frank opened the acquainted door into the spare room. He looked around, his cheeks flushing as he remembered the last time he had seen the inside of these walls. He avoided his gaze with the nearby bed, knowing full well it would only aid to his blushing exterior.

 

“Thanks...” Frank sighed, “I really appreciate you doing this for me, sir.”

 

“It was going to happen either way,” Gerard muttered as they stepped further into the room, “Rather sooner than later. This will be your room.”

 

“But I thought you said…” Frank frowned as he set his suitcase near the bed.

 

“We will be sharing my room once you’re comfortable but this room and the en-suite and the closet will be yours. You will not be allowed to use my bathroom unless I give you permission nor will you be allowed in my closet unless I say otherwise. This is where you will store your belongings throughout the duration of your stay with me, are we clear?”

 

“Crystal, sir.” Frank smiled as he looked around, “But I don’t sleep here?”

 

“Not unless you’re being punished and I don’t let you sleep in my room. Then you’re in here or wherever I tell you to sleep.” Gerard warned, his voice instantly making Frank swallow nervously.

 

“Right…” Frank whispered as he picked up his suitcase and set it on top of the cushioned bench that was now sat on the end of the bed, “Okay.”

 

“Are you going to pack now?” Gerard frowned and Frank turned and looked at him, frowning, “It isn’t very late and I’m almost sure it’s dinner time.”

 

“O- Oh?” Frank straightened up, “What do you do at dinner time?”

 

“It’s usually only Lindsey and I so we sit at the counter and discuss our day and what have you but I know she won’t be home until much later. She’s gone out to celebrate a friend’s birthday.”

 

“Just us then.” Frank smiled slightly, “Sounds good.”

 

“I honestly haven’t even thought about dinner yet.” Gerard frowned, “Lindsey is usually the chef.”

 

“Is that because you can’t cook?” Frank asked as he shed his blazer and lay it carefully over his suitcase.

 

“Unfortunately yes.” Gerard chuckled lightly, “I’m more than useless in the kitchen. But I think for dinner we should do something simple. Are you hungry, boy?”

 

“Now that you mention it…” Frank muttered, a hand coming up to his stomach when he realised how hungry he was, “Starving.”

 

“Well instead of cooking tonight, why don’t I order us some pizza?” Gerard smiled, “You start unpacking and I’ll go and I’ll sort out dinner tonight.”

 

“Yes, sir.” Frank smiled in return, watching Gerard walk out as he pulled out his phone and walked out of Frank’s now bedroom. Frank sighed once Gerard was out of his view, running his hands over his face and through his hair before he turned and unzipped his suitcase, flipping it open.

 

Frank turned, looking at the two doors that weren’t actual doors, one of them being the bathroom and one hopefully being the closet. Frank did a small coin flip in his head and turned, opening the door when he let out a small whimper.

 

“Holy… Closet…” Frank whispered as he walked in to the closet, turning around a tiny section of wall that was just a large metal framed mirror. His jaw dropping at the large room with the wooden floor, the six dark wood shelves that lined the side on his left with a white lightboard behind it that lit up the rows of shoes. There were drawers beneath it that he didn’t dare open. On his right was a large set of drawers that spanned the wall, the top section glass with watches and ties beneath it. There were open sections with pull out canvas drawers and overhead shelving to boot. 

 

Right at the end of the closet were two sectioned closet spaces filled with clothing, two others empty for what Frank assumed to be his own clothing. The middle of the dark wood floor was a dark brown rug and a lengthy beige-cushioned footstool that matched the walls in colour.

 

“I see you found your closet.” Gerard muttered from behind Frank, making him yelp and jump, turning to see his Master leaning against the mirror by the doorway.

 

“This… Is mine?” Frank asked out slowly, taking it in one more time before he looked at Gerard again. 

 

“It is.”

 

“And- And the clothes?” Frank took a tentative step closer to one of the shelves.

 

“They’re yours.” Gerard commented, “I bought them just in case.”

 

“You spent all of this money on me and you weren’t even set on me being yours?” Frank turned, his confusion and his frown deepening, “What would you have done if I said no?”

 

“I would have slowly and surely just either gifted it all to you or whatever you didn’t take, I’d return.” Gerard shrugged, “But after I got you those two suits and the other things that went with it, I had other stuff bought for you on my behalf and here it sits.”

 

“So all of this stuff is my size?” Frank looked around, “Even all these shoes?”

 

“I didn’t know everything myself so I guess it’s hit or miss. There’s a range of things from casual to formal. And more work suits for you as well.”

 

“Wow…” Frank whispered softly as he looked around, “I feel like Mia in Princess Diaries when she sees her closet.”

 

“A crown was the one thing I didn’t get.” Gerard looked around, “You do have three Crown watches though, I hope that makes up for it.”

 

“Jesus Christ, I was kidding.” Frank muttered as he turned and looked at the glass-topped case he had spotted earlier, “Is- I mean- I don’t know what to say…”

 

“Thank you is a great start.” Gerard mused as he straightened up, a small smile on his lips as Frank bit his lip and rushed him, wrapping his arms around Gerard tightly, taking him by surprise, “Whoa now.”

 

“Thank you…” Frank muttered against Gerard’s shoulder, “Thank you so much.”

 

“You deserve it, boy.” Gerard replied, his voice softly as a hand casually but comfortingly stroked through the back of Frank’s head, through his hair as he tightened his grip, his eyes squeezed shut.

 

“I-” Frank let go, feeling his cheeks slightly tinting pink yet again, “I don’t usually hug but…”

 

“I’m glad you did.” Gerard smiled, his hands resting on Frank’s waist, “I’m not overtly the hugging type myself but I think I could swing it where you’re concerned.”

 

“I…” Frank grinned sheepishly and looked down at his feet, “I don’t know how to say a proper thank you, I mean I.. This must have cost a fortune.”

 

“Ignore that for now. You’ll make up for it in other ways, boy.” Gerard’s gaze on frank had his insides twisting so heatedly, it made him feel as though he were naked, as though Gerard could see right through him and it was without a doubt… Terrifying.

 

“Is there any way I could?” Frank asked, tilting his head to the side as Gerard leaned in, his face almost an inch away.

 

“Oh, I can think of many ways, boy. Many, many ways…” Gerard replied back in his stern and suggestive whisper, “It all depends on just how badly you want to make it up to me, Frank.”

 

“So damn badly.” Frank found himself openly admitting, his voice wavering at the end as he found himself unable to look Gerard in the eye.

 

“Look at me, boy.” Gerard ordered sternly and Frank let out an involuntary whimper, looking up into Gerard’s molten hazel eyes his stomach jumping like it would were he on a thrill ride, “Good. Good boy. It’s such an unfortunate circumstance that you’ve decided to spend an indefinite amount of time in this bedroom of yours. I was hoping I got to spend my nights with you from day one.”

 

“Wh- Why?” Frank asked despite knowing the answer, knowing exactly what Gerard’s ulterior motives were for them sharing a bed, the only thing Frank wanted was to hear it from the Master’s mouth.

 

“Because, Frank. I wanted to see what else you’d do for me. I wanted to test the pale waters of your skin and see how much they can handle before they rage in a storm. I wanted to see just how much you’d let me get away with in just one night.”

 

“O- Oh…” Frank replied shakily, he was definitely not expecting an answer like that in the slightest, the poeticism getting to him, the simple words that held so much more behind them were more than enough to send his pulse racing.

 

“But it’s a shame that I can’t.” Gerard sighed as he moved away, letting go of Frank altogether, his skin feeling somewhat cold where Gerard’s hands had been. 

 

“Wh- You can’t?” Frank blinked in confusion, his skin tingling and his legs trembling as all he wanted to do was scream for Gerard to just take him then and there. 

 

“I can’t.” Gerard sighed, “Pity. You get to unpacking, boy.”

 

Frank’s jaw dropped as he watched Gerard turn and walk towards the mirror, heading for the door beside it. Frank let out a whimper, doing what he could to rush forward, grabbing Gerard by the arm before he spun him around, kissing him fervently. 

 

Gerard let out a small breath of surprise as Frank kissed him again, whimpering in sheer desperation as he tried to pull Gerard impossibly close. Frank dug his fingers into Gerard’s blazer, tugging on the blue material when Gerard’s hands wrapped around Frank’s wrists and physically peeled him off.

 

“Excuse you.” Gerard panted, “Did I at all give you any semblance of permission to do that, boy?”

 

“N- No, sir.” Frank whimpered, the familiar tightness off Gerard’s hands around his wrists had him gasp. He clenched his hands, looking at Gerard’s tightened fingers and at his face, the stern look driving him down into submission. 

 

“Then why did you?”

 

“I- I just…” Frank felt Gerard’s grip tighten and he whimpered as Gerard pushed him back slightly, “I need you.”

 

“You didn’t ask.” Gerard narrowed his eyes as he pushed Frank’s hands down to his sides forcefully, twisting until Frank’s knees buckled, letting out a small grunt as he was pushed back a small step, “Did you?”

 

“No, sir.” Frank breathed and Gerard let out a small hum of disapproval, on of his hands letting go of Frank’s wrist before it came down hard, hitting Frank’s ass. He let out a yell in surprise, jumping as his heart skipped more than a beat. He trembled, feeling Gerard’s hand dig into his asscheek. Frank sucked in a breath at the pain that was still resonating through his ass and out into his body. 

 

He hadn’t anticipated it, he hadn’t expected it in the slightest and neither did he expect the way his body would react to it. His stomach exploded with butterflies, his insides melting and his knees buckling. Gerard’s other hand slid from Frank’s arm to behind the trembling mess of a man in front of him, gripping hard on the other cheek. Frank whimpered in another breath as he was pulled forward, his body pressed against his Master whether he liked it or not.

 

But oh, did he like it.

 

“Fuck…” Frank whispered under his breath when Gerard’s lips were on his in an instant, capturing him by surprise yet again, Gerard’s hands squeezing and kneading sinuously as Frank kissed back needily, his hands grasping at Gerard’s chest. 

 

Frank instantly slid his hands up over Gerard’s shoulders, pushing his blazer off to the floor as Gerard’s hands let go for a mere second before they were back on Frank, loosening his tie before it was also pulled off.

 

Gerard pushed Frank up against the counter, pressed against the glass as Gerard’s hands made far too quick work of Frank’s belt, unfastening it before Frank’s pants were being pushed from around his hips to the floor. Frank let out a surprised gasp as the cool air hit his thighs along with Gerard’s warm fingertips trailing over his skin, toying with the leg hem of his boxers.

 

Gerard stepped closer, taking Frank yet again with his hands on Frank’s ass before he lifted him up, sitting him down on the counter, nipping softly at Frank’s neck as he whined, his legs wrapping around his Master to keep him close. Gerard let out a small chuckle at Frank’s obvious desperation as he pulled at his own tie and slid it from around his neck before he dropped it and pushed Frank back, tucking his hands into Frank’s boxers before he tugged them down. Frank lifted his hips up weakly, keeping himself up on his elbows on the cold glass as his underwear fell from over his feet. 

 

“You come here, boy.” Gerard muttered, “And you keep quiet or I make you.”

 

Frank let out a whimper at the severity in his Master’s voice, yelping out quietly as a hand came down hard on his thigh, instantly going white before it began to glint red in comparison to the rest of his skin. He shuddered out a breath, looking up at Gerard before they were at each other again, kissing heavily.

 

Gerard’s hands made quick work of Frank’s shirt buttons, undoing them and pushing his shirt aside before he unfastened his own shirt in haste, Frank’s hands going straight for Gerard’s belt.

 

He undid the leather, unbuttoning Gerard’s blue work slacks when he was stopped, Gerard’s teeth rough on his bottom lip. Gerard pulled out of Frank’s thigh-vice and looked him over, his gaze smoldering with intensity when he bent down to his blazer and reached into the inside pocket, grabbing a single-use sachet of lube that had Frank chuckle slightly.

 

“Really?”

 

“You laugh but a real Dominant is always prepared no matter what.” Gerard muttered nonchalantly as he tore it open with his teeth.

 

“You just always have that with you?” Frank breathed out as Gerard nudged his way back in between the latter’s thighs, running a hand up the goosebump-covered skin, his eyes locked on Frank as the small silver sachet was clamped between his teeth in a way that shouldn’t have been as sexy as it was.

 

Gerard wrapped his hand around Frank’s dick, the sudden touch had him cry out, the hard grip and twist motion hand him falling back, cringing as he panted. Gerard set the lube down as he leaned in, “What did I say about the noise?”

 

“I-” Frank managed from between gritted teeth, his toes curling as Gerard’s curled hand tightened even more around him.

 

“What did I say?”

 

Frank let out a shaky breath, his lips rolled in between his teeth as he withheld the urge to moan, whimpering desperately and silently as his body rose and fell in sync with his laboured pants. Gerard then loosened his grip, stroking slowly, teasingly as he pushed his pants down and tucked his hand into his tight grey underwear and worked them down.

 

Frank’s eyes widened as he looked down at Gerard’s other hand that was now wrapped around his own length, stroking roughly despite Frank all the while knowing Gerard didn’t need it. 

 

Frank’s body gave a small lurch as Gerard’s thumb flitted over the snug piercing on the underside of his dick, a low mewl leaving him mouth that he tried to suppress. Frank sat back up, scooting forward before he wrapped his legs around Gerard, whining softly under his breath as he could feel Gerard still touching himself between them.

 

Gerard let out a small grunt, reaching up to grab Frank by the hair, tugging hard and pulling him forward. Frank felt the hard sting in his scalp and his mouth opened, finally being able to keep his noises back. Frank let himself get pulled forward, his mouth on Gerard’s in an instant, kissing him just as perfervidly as Gerard was pawing and clawing at him.

 

Gerard’s hand moved between them, twisting until his fingers were pressed against Frank’s asshole, nudging and pressing without the satisfying burn of him pushing in. Frank pushed his hips forward, desperate and silent pleas as he pushed against Gerard’s fingers, begging and internally hoping and praying to any God for Gerard to finally give him what he wanted.

 

Frank’s eyes opened when Gerard’s hand moved away, the feeling dissipating and leaving him empty and he looked, seeing Gerard slathering the clear lube over himself. Frank swallowed hard, his heart suddenly picking up faster when he realised.

 

Gerard wrapped his hand around himself, pulling Frank closer as he nudged against him. Frank gasped at the feel, the surprise had his stomach twisting uncomfortably but oh, he wanted it, all of it.

 

“O- Oh,” Frank gasped softly under his breath as he reached up, grabbing Gerard’s hair with one hand, pulling him closer, nipping at his Master’s neck as Gerard’s other arm wrapped around his lower back and dipped him.

 

Frank’s mouth opened as Gerard pushed in, the pain brought back so many familiar and so many new things, his mind reeling as it recollected the last time his body felt so full of pain and like he was about to be torn in half, but only so much more. Frank shuddered out a half a breath, his body tensing up and his toes curling as he leaned back to accommodate.

 

“Fuck…” Gerard breathed out, his hand tightening it’s hold on Frank’s hip as he pushed in, his other hand still holding himself steady, wrapped around his dick as the tip of his index finger teasingly toyed with Frank’s asshole. Gerard paused for a split second as Frank moved onto his elbows, fingers clutching the end of the counter as his eyes squeezed shut.

 

His eyes opened wide when gerard pushed in harder, driving in slick until he bottomed out, sending his submissive over onto his back, his head up against the wall, back curled as he craned his neck to see where their bodies were connected. Frank stifled a whimper behind his panting and he looked up at Gerard, tilting his hips in curbed and restrained plea for him to move.

 

“So impatient.” Gerard muttered softly, his voice rough and edged as he slid out and back in slowly, eliciting a moan from Frank as he lifted his hips. Gerard’s hand came down hard on the side of Frank’s thigh in a warning, the latter jumping in fright and being pulled from his pleasured absorption, “Your final warning, boy.”

 

Frank stuffed his fist in his mouth as Gerard established a from-the-start pace that was way too rough, way too fast, unbearably good. Frank bit down on his hand, whimpering quietly as Gerard’s hips rutted against him, pushing into him roughly, hurriedly as his hips snapped. Gerard’s nails raked it’s way down and up Frank’s thigh before his arm dipped back down under Frank’s back and lifted him up to sit up on the counter.

 

Gerard held him up with one arm, the other lifted as he held onto the tie bar above their heads with white knuckles, his head cast down as his nails dug into Frank’s skin and made the submissive want to scream out. Gerard slid both hands underneath Frank and picked him up, stumbling back slightly before he sat back on the middle footstool, the both of them moaning in unison as Gerard’s hips lifted, his hands gripping his submissive, moving him up and down roughly.

 

Frank’s mouth dropped open, his head back on his shoulders at the change in position, in the sudden and intense swiftness that Gerard was pushing and pulling him, hitting a new depth inside of him that sitting in Gerard’s lap had brought. 

 

Frank was more than aware of his knees being scraped up on the burlap material of the footstool, the stinging of his kneecaps matching almost to the bright pained scratches of Gerard’s nails down his back as he rocked his hips back and forth, bouncing as he held on to Gerard’s shoulders.

 

Frank pressed himself closer to his Master, his back arching as he wrapped his arms around Gerard’s neck, their bodies slick and heated with sweat as they panted. Frank felt Gerard’s mouth warm and wet on the base of his neck, sucking and nipping harder than Frank expected, the pain had him pull away for a second to recollect, to regain the melted bits of his brain.

 

Frank could feel his thighs aching, his hips hurting at the constant tight position, his skin crawling with tendrils of calidity and unyielding pleasure. He let out a heavy breath as he gouged his fingertips into Gerard’s shoulders, picking up his own momentum as he chased his release.

 

Gerard reached down beside him, grabbing a hold of the footstool for stability as his hand curled up into the back of Frank’s hair and tugged hard, groaning low under his breath. Frank’s feet curled, turning to hook themselves under Gerard’s thighs as he did the same, curling a hand in Gerard’s hair as the other hooked between them, wrapping around himself.

 

Gerard’s hand connected briskly with Frank’s asscheek, slapping him harder than the latter had expected, his body jerking up in surprise. He pumping himself quickly, whimpering as he pulled off of Gerard’s dick by mistake, the emptiness surprising him and making him open his eyes.

 

He looked down at Gerard with clear and disregarding insistency, grinding down on Gerard when he was lifted up and lined up, being instantly pushed back down on Gerard. He cried out in surprise as Gerard’s hips snapped up to meet him, striking against his prostate and sending him tumbling, his orgasm knocking him over inside.

 

He came with a puppy-like whimper, riding Gerard fleetingly and flat out as hard as he could as he pumped himself through, coming between them.

 

“Such a good boy.” Gerard purred softly, his hot breath on Frank’s collarbone, spanking him one last time, hand kneading the tingling flesh as Frank calmed down, jittering in the oversensitivity as he ran his hand up Gerard’s chest and to his shoulder where he held on, “Make me come, pup.”

 

Frank nodded silently, saliva dribbling over his bottom lip as he rocked his hips back and forth slowly, getting accustomed to the white hot fizzles of ecstasy that were buzzing through him at every move, pushing passed the urge to stop when all he wanted to do was make his Master feel as good as he does.

 

Gerard let out a small moan, a deliberate and concentrated sound of pure and exquisite pleasure. The sound only making Frank go faster, his hips stirring in a circle before he sat down hard, gasping and panting in short and heavy breaths as he did it again. Frank pulled Gerard in, kissing him ardently, their tongues clashing in warm spit and unconstrained muscle.

 

Gerard’s arm wrapped around Frank, edging him harding, quicker as the sounds that were spilling from his lips were growing more interspersed albeit quieter and filled with predilection. Frank sucked in a breath as another spank landed landed on his ass, teasing and provoking and pushing him harder. Frank gripped tighter as he bounced on Gerard’s dick and watched him lean back on his arms, coming undone with alacrity.

 

Frank sped up, tugging on Gerard’s hair as he rode out his Master’s orgasm, watching his brows furrow and his lips part as he came deep inside of his submissive, marking him in the central and innermost intimate way that no one would know about.

 

Gerard’s hand steadied Frank, slowing him down to a stop as he panted quietly, his pale hand on Frank’s chest. Frank stilled, looking down at Gerard, whose eyes were open and looking back up, blown out in their post-orgasm haze.

 

“Such a good boy…” Gerard breathed as he ran his finger over Frank’s bottom lip, “Despite your indescrepancies and your listening problem.”

 

“I-...” Frank began when he realised Gerard had yet to let him speak, rolling his lips back into his mouth, seeing Gerard’s pleased expression.

 

“There we go, you’re learning.” Gerard sat up straight and Frank twinged, hands sliding up under him, lifting him up and pulling him slowly off of his Master. Frank felt the warmth running down his thigh and he went red, looking down as his cheeks flushed, realising what had just happened, “And that?”   
  


“Nothing…” Frank muttered softly, biting on his lip.

 

“Is it perhaps the melange of fluids now running onto my lap that I’m vastly aware is coming from you?” Gerard asked curiously and Frank let out a small groan, burying his face in Gerard’s neck, hearing him chuckle lightly, “I wouldn’t think that that- out of everything- would be what’s making you so uneffusive and shy.”

 

“I- I’ve just never had that…” Frank muttered, “Last and only time I ever bottomed, you used a condom.”

 

“That’s true.” Gerard replied candidly, “But it’s a normal thing, where exactly would you have expected any and all fluid to do, Frank? You’re not a sponge.”

 

“I guess…” Frank sat up, chewing on his lip, “It’s that it’s… On you.”

 

“You think I care?” Gerard raised an eyebrow, “If anything it’s doing quite the opposite.”

 

“You’re kidding?” Frank scoffed softly.

 

“You’re lucky the pizza will be here soon or I wouldn’t hesitate to bend you over again.” Gerard said as he patted Frank’s thigh lovingly.

 

“And when the pizza’s come and gone?” Frank asked with a hopeful raise of his head.

 

“We’ll see how you get on with your packing and your ablutions, boy.” Gerard reminded as he toyed with the collar of Frank’s unbuttoned shirt.

 

“Yes, sir.” Frank smiled, “Anything you want, sir.”

 

“Just what I like to hear.”


	36. Chapter 33: I've Never Known That One's Blush Could Match Their Knees

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly love Lindsey in this chapter. In this story to be perfectly honest. Such a fun character to write. Anyone got a favourite character in this story? Just curious to know if anyone favours any one of them the most, like me, yes I know I just said I love Lindsey, but my god, Gerard is so fucking fun to write. Now that I'm getting into the swing of writing this story and the content of it, he is just fun and the way he acts and talks and just. Yup, hands down Gerard is my favourite 
> 
> Any errors, apologies, but we think we got them all :)

Frank woke up begrudgingly. Hidden under the folds of bedding, he really did not want to wake up. He felt blissfully content, sliding one hand under the pillow he was resting his head on, pulling it closer to himself, grumbling when he felt what had woken him in the first place. His shoulder being shaken, someone clearly trying to rouse him from his slumber which really, after last night, it was the best night's sleep he had in a long time.   
  
Or at least since he had been in this bed the first time round.   
  
Frank muttered something into the pillow, wishing to just go back to sleep. Have a little more sleep because sleep was good. Maybe not as good as what him and Gerard had gotten up to last night. No, that had been a little unplanned but totally welcomed. How could Frank say no to him when Gerard could barely get him out of his clothes before he was all over him.   
  
Frank shifted under the duvet, feeling sore. The kind of sore after a good workout or a long run or the best night of your life. It didn’t feel as bad as the first time. He still felt it though, definitely knowing that he could get used to. The sore yet satisfying feeling of knowing that he had been with the one person he actually wanted to be with, even if it was going a little fast for his liking.   
  
“Frank,” He heard. The voice that was so soothing yet there was an edge to it. The voice of charge. Frank knew exactly who was trying to wake him up the moment that he spoke. Finally he shifted, opening one eye to look over to where the voice had come from, seeing Gerard looking over him with definite bed hair. More likely post sex hair. He looked too awake for whatever time it was, but god, Frank knew he could definitely get used to waking up to that face everyday, “You need to wake up, boy.”   
  
“M’awake,” Frank spoke thickly, rubbing his hand over one eye, trying to shake the sleep from himself. He propped himself up on his elbows, stretching out before he looked at Gerard, taking note of the fact he was currently dressed in pyjama pants and a worn out looking t-shirt. He definitely wasn’t wearing anything in bed last night before Frank fell asleep so clearly he had got up and got dressed before waking him, What time is it?”   
  
“Time you got up,” Gerard told him, getting up from where he had sat on the bed to wake him. Frank honestly had no idea what the time was. Yes, there was sunlight coming through the cracks in the curtains, but that could have meant it was anytime. It could have been seven am or it could have been ten am. Frank honestly had no idea as he shifted on the bed, sitting up, stretching his arms out above his head, his body slowly starting to wake up more and more, “You need to get dressed and meet me downstairs in the kitchen. Five minutes, boy. Don’t keep me waiting. We have a lot to go through this morning.”   
  
“Do we?” Frank frowned, thinking that all he had left to do was the rest of his contract. Seeing as it was Saturday and before last night he thought he was staying in the motel, he assumed that he was going to be finishing his contract off on Monday. It was all different now though and that was probably all it was. Finish off the contract since the start time on it had already passed.   
  
“I need to discuss some of the rituals with you,” Gerard answered him, walking towards the bedroom door before he looked back at Frank, “Please don’t keep me waiting.”   
  
“Okay, sir,” Frank nodded before watching Gerard disappear out of the bedroom. For a second he just sat there with the duvet bunched around his waist, still coming to terms with the fact that he was back in this bedroom. His bedroom. It was all still so new and overwhelming. A lot to take in at whatever time of the morning it was. God knows. All Frank knew was that apparently he had five minutes to get up, get dressed and meet Gerard in the kitchen. No keeping him waiting.   
  
Frank threw the duvet off himself, swinging his legs off the bed. Standing up, he stretched again, really feeling the ache more once he was upright. Padding over to his closet, he grabbed at some underwear, a smile playing on his face while he threw them on, the memory of last night playing through his mind vividly while he threw on a pair of shorts. He couldn’t wipe the smile off his face as he grabbed at a t-shirt of his, putting it on quickly before he went to walk out of the bedroom.   
  
It wasn’t until he was out in the hallway, going to head downstairs to find Gerard that he realised he needed the toilet. The urge to pee took over his need to go downstairs straight away. Being lazy though, Frank didn’t want to have to go back into his room. That seemed far too time consuming when he had already probably used up most of the five minutes that Gerard had told him he had to get ready. Frank wondered if it would just have been easier to go downstairs before asking to excuse himself for a second, but it couldn’t wait and Frank looked down the hall, seeing that Lindsey’s bedroom was open. She must have been out, probably running like she had done the first morning he had spent with Gerard. Her door was open and Frank could see her bathroom. It seemed like the best option right now. If she was out already then she would have been none the wiser about him using it just to pee. Frank walked down the hall quickly, ducking into her room, trying his best not to be nosy while he went into the ensuite bathroom, finally feeling relief as he went to the toilet.   
  
Frank couldn’t ignore how sore he felt while he stood there, not really thinking about anything else other than that while he peed. It felt like more this time though, the sore sensation creeping up his back and towards his shoulder blades. It was unusual, not what he had expected now that he was fully up and walking around. He reached around, pushing his shirt up and out of the way, rubbing the small of his back, hoping to alleviate some of the tender feeling as he massaged. He wondered if it had been the new position he had done. Had that really been the cause of this soreness? Frank thought it was the reason until he swore he felt something on his back. Something small that made the ache suddenly sting. Confused, Frank finished, muttering ‘what the fuck’ to himself while he flushed. He walked over to the sink, deciding that he had to see why his back was aching so much, especially now, after he had felt something. It felt like a cut, but Frank had no recollection of cutting himself or doing anything that meant he would have injured himself.   
  
Frank twisted himself, lifting his shirt up before he gasped. All across his back were red marks, ranging from small pale looking grazes to long red lines that disappeared up under his raised shirt. Looking in the mirror, he saw cuts littered in the raised lines that ran down his back, tiny scabs dotted from where the skin on his back had been broken. Lifting his shirt as high as he could, bunching it up around his neck, Frank saw more red stripes across his shoulder blades, unable to look away from his own reflection in the mirror, unable to think of anything other than how and who had put them there.   
  
He remembered more of last night, remembering how Gerard had run his nails across his back while they had sex. In the heat of the moment, it had felt phenomenal. Frank hadn’t even thought about the fact that Gerard was scratching him, marking him up, leaving cuts littering his back. It had just added to the intensity of their unplanned moment in the closet. The pain mixing in with the pleasure, driving Frank crazy, something he hadn’t felt for such a long time when it came to sex.    
  
Frank tried to reach around, running his fingers over one of the longer welts on his back. It stung to touch. He hissed at the light pain that radiated from the area of skin he felt. Still looking in the mirror, Frank couldn’t help the smile that was playing on the corner of his lips. Being marked up by his Master, that definitely had an effect on him, making his stomach twist and knot up at the sight of himself. If last night was only just the beginning then Frank couldn’t wait for what else was to come.   
  
In the time that Frank had spent looking at his back in the bathroom mirror, he hadn’t noticed that someone had come into the bedroom. The footsteps were silent on the carpet and honestly he had gotten a little lost in his own head while he had been admiring what Gerard had done to him. He hadn’t noticed that he was no longer alone until the bathroom door opened fully and Lindsey walked in, letting out a loud shriek when she realised that someone was in there.   
  
Frank yelped, spinning around fast, pulling his shirt down fast while he backed right up against the sink. His heart hammered in his chest at the fright of Lindsey walking in so quietly, back from her run, still togged up in all of her running gear with her hair scraped back into a bun. She stood there, one hand on her chest while the other one clung onto the door frame, looking at Frank, looking like she had just seen a ghost.   
  
“What are you doing in my fucking bathroom?” Lindsey questioned crossly, eyeing Frank while she caught her breath back.   
  
“I-” Frank started, stammering, knowing that his reason for being in here was so weak when he had his own bathroom in his room, “I got lazy. I needed a pee...I thought you were out-”   
  
“So you used my bathroom?” She fired at him again, appearing much calmer now, but still, she sounded displeased at the fact that she had just found him in her bathroom, “What the fuck is wrong with yours?”   
  
“Nothing, nothing,” Frank backtracked fast, hoping that Lindsey wasn’t going to be cross at him, even though she really did sound like she was, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t think- I just did-”   
  
“Relax,” Lindsey told him, calming down, pushing flyaway hair from her bun out of her face, still looking like she was scowling at him. Frank couldn’t read if she was annoyed at him, even though she had told him to relax. She had a similar look to Gerard, rightly so after finding someone in her bathroom, using it, looking at themselves in the mirror, “I’m not Gerard so I’m not going to scold you. If you’d have used his bathroom then I know he would be cross...just, next time, please dear god use your own bathroom.”   
  
“Okay,” Frank nodded, holding onto the bathroom sink, already feeling like he should look down, look away from Lindsey because of the fact that he had done something wrong to her, “I’m sorry, Lindsey. I promise- I swear, it won’t happen again.”   
  
Frank went to leave then. already knowing that he was running late to meet Gerard down in the kitchen. God knows how he was going to explain this to him. Saying that he was late down because his pretend wife had caught him in her bathroom probably wasn’t going to go down well with Gerard, but at least it was true. At least Frank had a reason for running late. Several actually, one being something that Gerard had done to him and he had only just found out about it a few minutes before.   
  
Lindsey stopped Frank though, smirking at him, “So I take it my advice helped?” She asked, guessing that he had spent the night here again. It was obvious. Gerard never usually had guests staying over and the last time he had, it had been Frank that she found hiding by the fridge the following morning. It was obvious why he was here. It didn’t take a genius to put two and two together to realise that they had been together again last night.   
  
“It did, yeah,” Frank blushed, not really knowing what to do with himself while he stood near Lindsey, “Thanks.”   
  
“You’re welcome,” She smiled at him before looking at him seriously, “But you do realise what I meant now when I said Gerard was a dominant? Or has he not told you yet?”   
  
“Oh no, I know now,” Frank chuckled, wondering if Lindsey had seen the state of his back when she had walked in on him. His back was a clear sign that he knew now, even if he hadn’t know before, which was pretty hard to miss, seeing that he was halfway through his contract, “I know all about him and the kinky fuckery it entails.”   
  
“Lovely,” Lindsey sighed, shaking her head at how loose Frank was being with the knowledge he now had about Gerard, “As long as I don’t hear anything of the fuckery, then we are all good.”   
  
“Okay,” Frank breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that she had calmed down. She wasn’t flying off the handle about this. If anything, she looked happy now, or at least calm enough to the point that Frank could say her expression didn’t give off vibes that she wanted to throttle him over what he had done, “Thank you.”   
  
“You’re welcome,” Lindsey smiled at him, “So I assume you two are…”   
  
“Something,” Frank finished off her sentence for her, not entirely sure if he could say to her that he was in fact Gerard’s submissive. She must have known what was going on, especially if she knew what Gerard was. She must have known that he was his Master now, “I just didn’t realise something like this would involve so much paperwork.”   
  
“Gerard is thorough,” Lindsey chuckled softly, leaning against the wall near the door, “You’ve got to know what you’re getting yourself into. I take it you do? It’s not just about him scratching your back you know?”   
  
Frank went bright red when Lindsey said that. She had a look on her face that read how she knew. She had seen the state of his back when she walked into the bathroom. Even though she had screamed, not expecting to find someone in her bathroom, she still saw the scratches. Still put two and two together when she realised it was Frank in her room.   
  
“Does it look bad?” Frank asked nervously, wanting a second opinion on it.   
  
“It looks like you two know what you’re doing,” Lindsey waved a hand at him, “I mean, he does. He’s known from day one of meeting you.”   
  
“Oh I know,” Frank snorted before realising that he had been standing around talking for far too long. He should have just gone straight downstairs to find Gerard, but instead he had hung around and now he realised that he was really running late. God knows how many minutes late, but still, he had gone over the time that his Master had given him, “Shit- Lindsey, I need to go downstairs. I need to go speak to Gerard.”   
  
“Go,” She told him, watching Frank leave the bathroom quickly, “Don’t keep him waiting.”   
  
Frank rushed down the hall, practically running down the stairs when he got to them. When he got downstairs, he saw Gerard sitting at the breakfast bar, watching him, giving him Frank a look that he knew wasn’t good.   
  
“You’re late, boy,” Was all Gerard said, looking at the watch on his wrist, making note of how long Frank had taken, “Nine minutes. What were you doing up there?”   
  
“I ran into Lindsey, sir.” Frank answered quickly, his head instinctively bowing down, ready for Gerard to tell him off, “I apologise, I didn’t mean to be late coming downstairs.”   
  
“I noticed,” Gerard mentioned, having heard the scream that had come from upstairs while he was waiting for him, “I do hope you were dressed when she found you?”   
  
“Yes, sir,” Frank nodded, avoiding the minor detail that had made Lindsey shriek. God knows what Gerard would say to him if he found out that he had used her bathroom. He would probably tell him off for it, punish him, even though Frank couldn’t decide if he was for or against the idea of being punished. It all depended on how he would be punished, “Dressed as I am now. We were just talking- I lost track of time.”   
  
“Well make note for next time, boy,” Gerard spoke, straightening himself up on the chair he was sitting on, “If I tell you to do something in an allotted time scale, then you do it. Do you understand?”   
  
“Yes sir.” Frank nodded, his head still bowed down to a degree, avoiding the burning stare that he was so sure was being directed right at him, “I promise it won’t happen again, sir.”   
  
“Good boy,” Gerard sounded pleased, “Now come sit next to me. We have a lot to get through this morning.”   
  
“What time is it?” Frank asked as he made his way over to Gerard, pulling out the stool to the right of him, sitting down on it while he watched him check the time.   
  
“Just gone nine am.”   
  
“Really?” Frank whined softly, wishing that he was still in bed. It was Saturday. The weekend. That was a time for lying around in bed, not having to worry about getting up to alarms or having to be anywhere. Frank knew he was the kind of person who would tumble out of bed at gone ten am at the weekends. Nine was far too early to be up on a Saturday, “It’s so early.”   
  
“You don’t know the meaning of the word early then,” Gerard chuckled, sliding a piece of paper in front of him, “Today, we need to go through your rituals.”   
  
“Kinky,” Frank smirked, joking playfully with Gerard, even though he barely cracked a smile at his quip. Frank reeled it in, clearing his throat before trying to get a look at the piece of paper that Gerard had in front of him, “So what are these rituals?”   
  
“These will be the things that you do everyday. Orders that you have to follow. A planned out timetable that you will have to follow. Do you understand, boy?” Gerard asked, watching Frank nod, “No hanging around having chats. If you run late then there will be repercussions.”   
  
“Okay,” Frank nodded again, his voice shaky over the idea of there being consequences if he ran late. Luckily Gerard had let him off this morning, but still, the idea of Gerard doing something to him if he ran late made him giddy and nervous all at once, “So what do I have to do?”   
  
“Well first on the list, even if we are running a little behind schedule with a few things,” Gerard said, checking over the list quickly, “Is breakfast.”   
  
“Is this your way of making sure I don’t skip meals?” Frank smirked.   
  
“I mean you making me breakfast,” Gerard corrected him. Frank stalled, letting out a small oh when he realised that what he had said actually had nothing to do with the fact that he used to skip the first meal of the day, “Be this what it is, every morning you will cook and serve me breakfast. Being a submissive isn’t just about pleasing me whenever I desire, there is also domestic discipline. Breakfast being one of those things that will be part of your daily rituals.”   
  
“So I just make you breakfast?” Frank smiled at the idea of that. It had been so long since he had properly cooked that the idea of being able to do it for Gerard was something that he knew he would enjoy. Seeing himself as an alright cook, Frank was more than happy about this part of his new day to day life, “I am so down for doing that. So, what am I making you then? I take it you decide that for me too?”   
  
“There’s eggs in the fridge,” Gerard answered, watching Frank get from the stool, heading towards the fridge, “Did I say you could move, boy?”   
  
Frank froze barely a metre away from the fridge, mentally cursing himself, “...no, sir.”   
  
“Running late and not asking permission,” Gerard looked over Frank, rubbing his finger over his bottom lip, “Am I going to have to do something to make you conform, boy?”   
  
“No, sir,” Frank stammered, feeling like his stomach had dropped down to his feet when Gerard had his eyes wandering over him, like he was seeing him naked, deciding what to do with him if he was going to continue slipping up, “Can I make you breakfast now, sir?”   
  
Gerard waved a hand at him. He hoped that it meant that he could carry on. When he moved, he got it, seeing as Gerard didn’t berate him for disobeying him again. Frank opened up the fridge, feeling a little excited about doing this. Actually cooking. He may not have done it properly for a long time, yes he worried that he was going to mess up, but it was all being ignored when all he wanted to do was make his Master happy.   
  
“You seemed rather keen on the idea of making me breakfast.” Gerard piped up, watching Frank get eggs from the fridge, setting them down on the counter.   
  
“Did I?” Frank responded, trying to play it cool as he put milk down on the counter too, closing the fridge before he went in search of a bowl.   
  
“Do you enjoy cooking?” Gerard queried, watching Frank search cupboards until he found what he needed.   
  
“I do actually,” Frank blushed a little at the admittance, like it was a bad thing, even though it wasn’t, “I just never really had the opportunity to do it before.”   
  
“How so?” Gerard frowned.   
  
“Well, when I was with Ryan…” Frank stammered, feeling bad for mentioning his ex's name. The problem was he didn’t have any other experience than what he had had with Ryan. It was unfortunate, but Frank couldn’t help the fact that what he was about to say involved him, “I wanted to cook for him, but he was such a control freak. He liked to have complete control over how we lived, what we ate. He always got so nervous when I offered to cook because I wouldn’t do it how he did it. It wouldn’t be done how he liked it...so eventually I just stopped trying and let him take control of that.”   
  
“Can I ask,” Gerard started, hoping that he wasn’t being too personal with his questioning, “This man sounds like he has OCD. Did that ever occur to you or did he ever mention it to you?”   
  
“Nope,” Frank sighed, taking eggs out of the box, cracking them into the bowl before he realised he didn’t have a whisk, “I never thought about it like that. I just thought it was Ryan being Ryan so I left him to it. it was easier that way. Less arguments.”   
  
Gerard hummed, nodding, taking in what Frank had said, “Did you two argue a lot?”   
  
“Can we change the subject?” Frank cringed, hoping that Gerard wasn’t going to be offended about the fact that he didn’t really want to talk about his ex while he searched for a whisk, coming up with nothing, choosing to find a fork in a drawer so he could continue making breakfast, “Sorry, sir, but I don’t really want to talk about Ryan if I’m honest. Not exactly the kind of conversation I’m happy about having. You could say it’s a hard limit for me.”   
  
“Duly noted,” Gerard chuckled, “I’m sorry if I came across as too personal, boy.”   
  
“It’s okay,” Frank reassured him with another sigh, whisking up the eggs in the bowl, adding in a little milk before he realised that Gerard didn’t have a coffee. Stopping what he was doing, Frank went to find a mug, two mugs, that was if he could have a coffee too. He hesitated on asking, looking over at his master who still had an eye on him, “Coffee, sir?”   
  
“Please,” He responded, “Make yourself one too if you’d like.”   
  
Frank was grateful that he didn’t have to ask if he could. He was still getting used to having to ask if he could do something or have something. Hoping not to slip up again, Frank went about making coffee, finding a rather fancy looking coffee machine in the corner by a just as fancy looking blender. Frank frowned at the machine, figuring it out for a second, pressing buttons because in all honesty, he didn’t really know what he was doing. Somehow he managed to get it working, placing the mug under the spout before coffee started to come out.   
  
“So I was thinking that once we had gone through these rituals, you could probably continue with your contract,” Gerard continued talking to Frank while he made coffee, “No point in dragging it out now that it has started.”   
  
“Okay,” Frank nodded, making his own coffee before he brought Gerard’s over to him, offering him milk and sugar, “How much do I have left to do?”   
  
“Roughly ten pages,” Gerard told him, taking a sip of his coffee when Frank handed it to him, letting out a satisfied hum, “This is good coffee, Frank- but back on track, I am more than confident that you can finish it today.”   
  
“Will that be a part of my rituals then?” Frank queried, going back to making breakfast, finding a pan in a cupboard near the oven. He took it out, setting it down on the hobs before lighting them up, finding some oil while he poured a little into the pan.   
  
“For today, yes, also-” Gerard went to talk to him, but the sound of footsteps on the stairs stopped him in his tracks. He looked over, seeing Lindsey coming down the stairs, smiling thankfully. Frank felt relief over that as he went back over to the fridge, wondering what he could add to the eggs to make it less bland.   
  
“Good morning,” Lindsey chirped as she entered the kitchen, walking over to Gerard, kissing him on the cheek. Frank kept to himself while she went over to the coffee machine, making herself a cup, staying quiet because he was worried that if he spoke, she would mention what he had gone and done to her this morning, “And good morning to you again, Frank.”   
  
“Morning.” Frank mumbled, blushing lightly while he grabbed some mushrooms that he found in one of the drawers in the fridge.   
  
“Did you have a good night last night, dear?” Gerard turned his attention to Lindsey, watching her remove her mug from the machine, blowing on the steaming contents before taking a sip. Frank went about his business, finding a board and knife, cutting up the mushrooms, looking down in an attempt to hide himself. She couldn’t bring it up. Gerard would not be happy if he found out what he had done.   
  
“It was good,” Lindsey told him, choosing to sit down on the stool to his left, “It was at that little restaurant down the road from us.”   
  
“Oh I hear that is nice.” Gerard said. Frank just listened to their conversation, fingers mentally crossed as he poured the egg mix into the pan, spreading it around before finding a spatula.   
  
“I take it you had some company last night while I was out.” Lindsey smirked, glancing over at Frank, making his head pop up. Frank looked wide eyed at her like she just knew what had happened between the two of them.   
  
The scratches on his back were a dead giveaway.    
  
“Yes. I brought Frank over after work,” Gerard spoke, ignoring the burning blush on Frank’s cheeks while he talked about him like he wasn’t here right now. Frank just kept himself quiet, paying attention to the pan, making sure that he was going to burn the omelette he was making because the pair at the breakfast bar was distracting him, “You were already gone by the time we got back so I couldn’t explain the situation to you.”   
  
“Next time, can you just make sure I don’t find your new scratching post in my bathroom, please,” Lindsey said far too casually, dropping a bomb right in the middle of the kitchen. Frank nearly dropped the spatula, cursing under his breath, immediately apologising for it before refusing to look at Gerard who was frowning at him, not knowing what Lindsey was talking about, “He gave me such a fright when I came back from my morning run.”    
  
“What is she talking about, boy?” Gerard asked, turning his attention Frank who was paying more attention to what he was doing because making eye contact with Gerard felt like a feat in itself. Frank didn’t want to admit that maybe he had gone wandering this morning, but only for a reason. This whole thing was still a big adjustment for him so of course he didn’t want to keep slipping up, making mistakes which in turn would make his Master annoyed. Frank folded over the omelette in the pan, pretending that Lindsey hadn’t said anything until she came up beside him, looking towards Gerard.   
  
“Leave the poor boy alone,” Lindsey said, her voice ringing out an air of playful defence. She knew what Gerard was like. As much as she knew that he would’ve probably got in trouble for what he had done, they had cleared it up and really, she wanted this one to slide. Plus Frank looked like he was about to burn up from embarrassment, even though he wasn’t making contact with either of them. He just flinched a little when Lindsey ran the back of her index finger across his cheek, “He’s embarrassed. He knows not to do it again, don’t you?”   
  
Frank glanced at Lindsey briefly, nodding, saying a quiet yeah before she nodded and walked away from him, going to stand closer to Gerard. He just sat there, eyes narrowed, watching Frank which he swore that he could feel. The burning stare. Gerard was probably trying to figure out what had happened, but Lindsey was quick to comment again.   
  
“I think it’s rather cute to be honest,” She smiled, making Frank look up at her with confusion spread across his heated face, “I’ve never known that one’s blush could match their knees.”   
  
Franks mouth dropped open then before he looked down, shifting so he could see how red his knees actually were. He hadn’t paid attention to them while he was getting dressed. They were scuffed up from the night before’s dalliance in the closet. The rough material of the footstool had clearly reddened his knees and now he could only imagine just how red his face was, keeping it as hidden as he could, avoiding looking at the pair that were at the breakfast bar.   
  
“I’ll be about if you need me,” Lindsey moved the conversation on, letting Frank simmer away as he finished cooking Gerard’s breakfast, plating it up before he went on a hunt to find cutlery in the kitchen, “I have a lot to do today so if you need me, call me.”   
  
“Same,” Gerard agreed, “I have a lot of work to do so I’ll be in my office if you need me.”   
  
“I’m sure someone will be able to help you if you need anything,” Lindsey said pointedly, looking right at Frank who returned the look wide eyed, pausing while he held onto the plate of food and cutlery. She chuckled then, running her free hand across Gerard’s back, smiling at the two of them before she went to leave, “I’ll see you boys later then.”   
  
Gerard bid her a goodbye. Frank mumbled one out, focussing more on the fact that he was holding onto the plate of food that he started to walk towards Gerard again. He set it down in front of him, almost forgetting to set the cutlery properly. He didn’t know what the protocol for this was, but just in case, he did it anyway, holding his hands behind his back when he was done.   
  
“This looks delicious,” Gerard commented, picking up his knife and fork before cutting up the omelette, “Your culinary skills far surpasses mine.”   
  
“Thank you, sir.” Frank nodded, fighting back the urge to smile at the compliment that Gerard had just casually given him. He waited a second, hoping to find out if he actually enjoyed it. Gerard took a mouthful, chewing before he stopped, seeing that Frank was watching him with practically bated breath.   
  
“You do know that it is highly rude to watch someone eat, boy,” Gerard pointed out, making Frank avert his eyes immediately, shrinking back a little, “Plus you haven’t made yourself breakfast.”   
  
“I was going to ask if I could make myself some.” Frank said, remembering what had happened when they had gone out for lunch.   
  
“You remembered,” Gerard nodded, smiling proudly while he chewed, “Good boy. You may make yourself some breakfast.”   
  
Frank thanked Gerard then, going back over to where he had been cooking. He started to make himself the same as what he had made his Master. Frank assumed that he probably wouldn’t be allowed to make anything different from what Gerard was having, so he went about cracking more eggs into the bowl again, whisking them up.   
  
“This is really good,” Gerard told Frank, pointing his fork down at the plate of food, licking his lips while nodding, “Very flavoursome. I never knew someone could make eggs interesting.”   
  
“Thank you, sir.” Frank smiled nervously, not quite knowing how to react to the compliment while he poured his breakfast into the pan, beginning to cook it. He cut up a few more mushrooms, adding them into the pan while watching Gerard continue to eat out of the corner of his eye.   
  
“Now,” Gerard cleared his throat, getting back onto the topic that he had wanted to discuss with Frank this morning, “As I said, I need to go over your rituals with you. This is something that you should follow precisely. No dilly dallying around like you did this morning, understand?”   
  
“Yes, sir.” Frank nodded, knowing not to repeat what happened this morning. Not just for his sake, but also for poor Lindsey who he hadn’t meant to scare this morning.   
  
“So, I know we are running behind schedule this morning, but we can make up for lost time,” Gerard continued, looking over the sheet of paper which he had had with him since he had come downstairs. Frank craned his neck, hoping not to be noticed. He was curious what was on the sheet and even though he couldn’t see it from where he was in the kitchen, he still couldn’t help but wonder what Gerard had got down for him on the sheet of A4, “I shall begin with the weekend, seeing as it is Saturday. Makes sense to start where we already are, don’t you agree, boy?”   
  
“Yes, sir.” Frank nodded, wondering what in the world rituals meant for him. Was this just more of the kinky fuckery he had thought would happen or was this something completely different that he had no idea about. Frank wondered for a second. Gerard ate some more breakfast, taking a sip on his coffee before picking up the piece of paper to read out from.   
  
“Now, I know I chose to ignore the rituals this morning, seeing as last night was your first night as part of this, but as of now, I expect you to be up and awake at seven am, Saturday and Sunday.”   
  
“Seve-” Frank stopped himself when the shock of how early he would have to be up at the weekend took over him. Frank knew that he hadn’t seen seven am in a long time over the weekends. That was his time to rest and relax and really, the idea of being up that early, it made him shudder at the idea of missing out on his precious beauty sleep. But it was probably going to be worth it. That’s what Frank thought as he continued to cook his breakfast, glancing up every now and again only to see Gerard looking at him with a raised eyebrow.   
  
“Was that you speaking out of turn?” Gerard queried, “Something wrong with how I do this?”   
  
“No, sir.” Frank stammered, already guessing that there was no chance that it would be changed. He was just going to have to get used to it, whether he liked being up that early at the weekend or not.   
  
“Once you are up I expect you to be down by seven fifteen, no later. Then you may have yourself something to eat. Not breakfast. You eat breakfast with your Master. At this time you can have a snack, something light to tide you over until it is actually time for breakfast.”   
  
“Right,” Frank nodded, finishing cooking his breakfast before plating it up. He quickly set all the dirty utensils in the sink near him, knowing that he was going to have to do that after eating before he joined Gerard, nearly forgetting that he had to sit on his right, “And what I can eat is…”   
  
“Lindsey likes to keep the kitchen topped up. There is always food in this house. You can help yourself to fruit, smoothies, yoghurts…”   
  
“Not the fancy ones though,” Frank smirked to himself picking up his fork before pausing, “Can I eat, sir?”   
  
“Of course,” Gerard waved a hand at him, “Now, moving on. At half past seven, that is when you will come to wake me. Lucky for you I’m a light sleeper so it won’t take much to wake me.”   
  
“Okay, sir.” Frank took note of that, eating a mouthful of his breakfast,    
  
“Come seven forty five, I expect you to do at least an hours exercise,” Gerard worked his way down the list, not noticing how Frank looked more than startled about the fact that Gerard had brought this up. Yes, he knew that he had gone over exercise in the contract, but he had just assumed that it wasn’t something that would happen straight away. They were only just starting this. Frank saw himself as at least somewhat fit. Maybe not as much as Gerard, or even Lindsey for that matter who he knew went running at least, “Don’t look so worried, boy. I’m not going to make you do anything too arduous.”   
  
“But what are you going to make me do?” Frank queried, bringing his mug of coffee up to his lips before taking a sip.   
  
“Well you don’t need to do weights,” Gerard commented instantly, “I’m not looking to bulk you up. It’s more a case of making sure that your body will be able to handle what it will be put through, as I explained before.”   
  
“So what will I have to do?”   
  
“Whatever works for you,” Gerard carried on, working his way through his breakfast while they talked, “Personally for me, I go running. Sometimes I swim and both are great ways to keep yourself in shape. All you need is cardio. Nothing else.”   
  
“Probably a bad time to say that I’m not the strongest of swimmers…” Frank spoke quietly, feeling somewhat ashamed of that admittance. He knew it wasn’t a bad thing, it was just that he felt nervous about it. If Gerard wanted him to do that then he felt like he wouldn’t have been able to do it as well as he could. As Gerard could.   
  
“It’s not a bad thing, I’m glad you were honest with me,” Gerard reassured him warmly, “Maybe you could join me on a run and we can see how that works out for you. If it doesn’t then we will find something that does work for you.”   
  
Frank nodded while chewing on a mouthful of food, feeling somewhat reserved about the idea of an hour's worth of exercising, but he moved along with Gerard when he went onto the next part of his weekend ritual.   
  
“Nine o’ clock until nine fifteen is when you shower and dress. I’m more than sure you can be ready within fifteen minutes...unlike this morning.”   
  
“But you only gave me five minutes this morning,” Frank pointed out, seeing a flaw in Gerard’s request.   
  
“That is true, but this morning is completely different to how it will be usually,” Gerard reminded Frank, “I didn’t ask you to shower. Only to get dressed...probably should have said about not scaring Lindsey.”   
  
Frank grumbled at that internally, wishing that Gerard would just let it go. It was a mistake and he knew that it would most definitely not be repeated.   
  
“Fifteen minutes is fair and plenty of time for you to get ready,” Gerard said confidently, “Once dressed and downstairs, that is when you make breakfast.”   
  
“So do I have set meals that I have to make or is this something I have some sort of free rein on?” Frank questioned, watching Gerard finish his breakfast before setting his cutlery down on his now empty plate.   
  
“Unless I ask for you to make something specific, the kitchen is all yours,” Gerard told Frank, watching the way his face lit up at the idea, “You seem more than content with that, boy?”   
  
Frank nodded, finishing his mouthful, “Just gonna be nice to not have someone shoving me out of the kitchen when all I wanted to do was help.”   
  
“I bet,” Gerard responded with a nod, running his finger down the list to the next thing, “Lunch will be at one at the weekends. Dinner at six. Same thing as breakfast so we don’t need to go over that again.”   
  
“What happens between those times?” Frank asked curiously, catching a glimpse of the weekend time table, noticing that there was nothing listed between the three meals.   
  
“Between those times, that is for me to decide,” Gerard told him, “These rituals are left open like this so I can plan accordingly. Sometimes I work over the weekend and I will require your assistance. Other times I might have plans and those plans can be slotted in where I see fit.”   
  
“Slotted in, huh?” Frank smirked, his mind immediately going towards the gutter. Gerard frowned at him. Frank couldn’t even hide the smile on his face then because for a moment, he was so sure that Gerard was talking about sex.    
  
Gerard did however clock on to what Frank had meant then. He shook his head, letting out a quiet sigh, “Not everything has to revolve around sex you know, boy.”   
  
“But I’m guessing that those few hours could be put to that kind of use.” Frank suggested, playfully wiggling his eyebrows at Gerard.   
  
“What we do with that time is wholly up to me,” Gerard reminded Frank, trying to calm him down, “But if I do choose to use the free time in that way, you will be the first to know, my boy.”   
  
Frank just blushed at that, hiding the smile behind the coffee cup he was holding close to his face, taking sips every now and again.   
  
“Bedtime will be decided accordingly over the weekends, depending on your behaviour, plans, my decision and also on how tiring the day has been for you,” Gerard continued, ignoring the pink tint that still adorned Franks cheeks, “If and when I say that it is bedtime, there will be no arguing over it. Do you understand?”   
  
“Yes sir.”    
  
“Good boy,” Gerard said, looking pleased over the fact that Frank was taking this all on board with no complaining, “You will sleep in my bed with me unless I tell you otherwise. If you act up or I find you transgressing, I won’t hesitate to send you to your room. Or even have you sleeping on the floor…”   
  
“R- Really?” Frank stammered then, not sure if Gerard was bluffing over that last statement. The look in his eyes showed that he was serious. Frank gulped back, drinking his coffee quietly, hoping and praying that he didn’t end up getting to a point where Gerard would do such a thing to him, even though what he had told him had done a real number on Franks stomach.   
  
“Let’s just hope that you won’t push me to the point where you will find out if I’m serious or not, hm?” Gerard added, looking at Frank over the rim of his coffee cup when he took a drink, setting it back down, breaking eye contact before turning back to the paper, “Now, weekdays aren’t too different from the weekend. There are a few differences that you should take note of. For instance, you will need to be up earlier. Five fifteen start-”   
  
“Five fifteen?” Frank cut Gerard off in shock, not meaning to. He shrunk back instantly, apologising profusely as he bowed his head down, avoiding the glare that was being directed at him.   
  
“I’ll ignore that sudden bout of interrupting then and put it down to the fact that I take it you don’t see five fifteen usually.” Gerard noted, watching the way Frank looked like he had been told to do something that seemed physically impossible.   
  
“I don’t know how I even see six am when I have to get up for work,” He admitted nervously, knowing full well that he wasn’t the liveliest of people when it came to an early start, “Five- isn’t that a bit early?” Frank asked, wondering if there had been some sort of mistake that Gerard hadn’t noticed. Clearly he was a thorough man who wouldn’t miss something like a time mistake on the timetable, but still, Frank hoped that it was wrong, “I’m not exactly a morning person.”   
  
“You will be fine, boy,” Gerard encouraged Frank, “It’s only a matter of adjustment and getting used to it. Once you get into the swing of this then it will be easy.”   
  
Frank wanted to disagree, but he thought against it. It probably wouldn’t be a good idea to start arguing over this, especially seeing as Gerard wasn’t just his boss anymore. The words that he had wanted to say shrunk and he just nodded again, finishing off his breakfast.   
  
“The only other two differences to the weekend is that at three pm you will eat again. A light snack. Like you have in the mornings,” Gerard explained, “Dinner will be following at six as usual and the other thing is that bedtime will be at half ten unless I specify a different time.”   
  
“What are the chances of you specifying a different time?” Frank asked curiously, watching Gerard slide the timetable sheet over to him, letting him look over it himself now.   
  
“Well, the reason for the early night is because you are to rise early. You need your rest and until you get more used to the routine, it will stay that way. Once you have adjusted, then I can decide on a different time for you if I choose to have you up later or not,” Gerard explained fluidly, making Frank realise what he hadn’t already. Half ten until five fifteen, he was going to be sleeping for just under seven hours. It didn’t seem like he would be missing out on sleep, but adjusting to it was going to be something that didn’t happen instantly. It made sense to Frank now as he nodded, taking on board what Gerard had told him, “Plus sometimes it may also depends on how well behaved you are, boy.” Gerard said in such a way that even Frank got the tone to his voice. He looked at his Master, feeling his stomach drop down to his feet before sucking in a shaky breath nodding again, trying to fight back how his body was trying to react to what his Master had said.    
  
Gerard drank the last of his coffee before setting the cup down. Frank was all but finished too, watching as his Master stood up, stretching before placing his hand on his stomach, “I have to say boy, that was quite possibly one of the best breakfasts I’ve had in a long time.”   
  
“Thank you, sir.” Frank beamed, looking over his shoulder to see the stack of dishes he had left in the sink, contemplating whether he should just do it or whether he should ask Gerard if he should. He didn’t entirely know what to do, so asking was the safest thing to do, “Should I do the dishes now we have finished, sir?”   
  
“Don’t worry about it today,” Gerard told him with a wave of his hand, “We have a maid on Wednesdays and Saturdays. Every other day, yes, you will do the dishes. For now though, I do believe you have something far more important to do while I work.”   
  
“What’s that?” Frank frowned, unsure of if he had forgotten something that Gerard had told him to do.   
  
“Your contract, boy,” Gerard reminded him, “You still have ten pages left to do. Seeing as you have some free time, I suggest you use it wisely.”   
  
“Yeah, of course,” Frank spoke, getting up from where he had been sat next to Gerard, following him when he went to walk upstairs to his office, “I’ll gladly do that.”


	37. Chapter 34: Ah, the Prize Quality in a Dominant, Humour

“Frank, instead of annoying me, why don’t you make yourself useful?”

 

“Whatcha need, sir?” Frank asked with a giggle, looking at Gerard upside down as he lay draped the wrong way up over Gerard’s olive leather sofa in his home office.

 

“I need you…” Gerard began, “To finish your contract, boy.”

 

“Oh yeah.” Frank smiled as Gerard got up slowly and walked over, setting it and the three markers down on Frank’s stomach before he crouched down, looking at Frank, who hadn’t moved, “You’re hot upside down.”

 

“Ditto.” Gerard whispered softly, the suggestive tone in his voice had Frank swallowing heavily, the smirk on Gerard’s lips merely sealed the deal as he leaned down, kissing Frank chastely.

 

Frank let out a small whimper at the sudden affection, instinctively kissing back before Gerard moved back and stood up, leaving Frank feeling instantly filled with butterflies and slightly awestruck.

 

“Keep yourself busy with that, boy.” Gerard instructed, looking down at Frank, who merely nodded, earning a light kick to the head with Gerard’s shoe that made him hiss and jump, “Excuse me?”

 

“I- Yes- Yes sir?” Frank grunted, rubbing the side of his skull as Gerard hummed in disapproval.

 

“Watch it, boy.” Was all he said before he walked back to his desk, sitting himself back down in the chair as he carried on typing.

 

“Gunplay: the practice of including actual, or simulated, firearms into a scene. Sounds dope. I’m in. Hafada: piercing through the upper part of the scrotum. That’s… That actually doesn’t sound too bad. Maybe. Hair brush spankings. Yellow. Hair pulling. Oh, fuck me up with that shit. Green. Handcuffs: commonly used BDSM device to restrain the wrists. Commonly used device to give Frank a boner. Green. Handjobs: giving. Yes. Handjobs: receiving. Please and thank you. Handkerchief codes: visible signs to indicate to others your area of BDSM interest; a color worn on the left indicates a top, on the right indicates a bottom. Green.”

 

“If you behave and finish this contract, you may or may not get a reward from me, boy.” Gerard commented simply and Frank faltered, looking up- or down- at Gerard with a sudden and keen interest.

 

“I- I do?” 

 

“I said if you behave, boy.” Gerard warned, “And that’s my level of behave, not yours. Now get your grubby feet off my wall or I’ll make you repaint the whole house on your own.”

 

“I-” Frank spun himself around and sat up slowly, “Yes, sir.”

 

“Good boy.” Gerard looked up at him from his work, “Carry on.”

 

“Yes, sir.” Frank couldn’t contain the thrumming excitement that was now diverging through his blood stream, his mind wondering what a reward from Gerard would be like, “Hard limits- Sir? Is this just having hard limits in general or is this going over my hard limits and ignoring them? It just says ‘hard limits’ here.”

 

“That’s merely having hard limits. And considering you do already, it gets marked green.” Gerard aided, not looking up from his work.

 

“Thank you, sir.” Frank replied as he lined the words in green, “Harem: a group of subs serving one or more dominants. I- Uh.. Maybe. Harness leather or rope: Elaborate bondage device made with leather straps worn on the body or tied with rope. Green. Having food chosen for you. Green. Having clothes chosen for you. Green. High Heels: popular objects of foot fetishists, along with boots. Fuck it, green. Hobble Skirt: very narrow skirt that restricts the wearer’s ability to take anything other than tiny steps. I- I don’t know what that looks like?”

 

“Do you know that leather skirt that Lindsey wears to work with the bit of leather frill at the bottom? The really tight one that has every other man in the office slobbering besides you, me, Josh and Patrick?

 

“Why them?”

 

“They’re also gay, Frank.” Gerard chuckled and Frank was taken aback, but remembered the skirt directly, “That’s a hobble skirt. Very popular in the 1910’s as a fashion staple.”

 

“I don’t have her hips, That won’t suit me in the slightest, I say nay.” Frank muttered.

 

“Either that or you say ‘nay’ because afraid you’ll look better in it than her and throw her off her game at the office.” Gerard chuckled and Frank let out a sputtered laugh, snickering behind the pages as he lifted them up, looking over at Gerard who was eyeing him with a playful smirk.

 

“You’re being terrible.” Frank gushed.

 

“Am I, though?” Gerard asked thoughtfully, only making Frank giggle even more than before, hiding his face behind the contract as he brought his knees up to his chest, “It’s good to hear you laughing.”

 

“How can I not?” Frank grinned, “You’re making me laugh.”

 

“Ah, the prize quality in a Dominant, humour.” Gerard stated sarcastically, “Of all things for you to focus on.”

 

“I value humour rather high on my list of traits.” Frank replied matter-of-factly and Gerard raised an eyebrow.

 

“Then why, pray tell, boy… Did you date Ryan for so long?”

 

“I- You’re cruel.” Frank’s eyes widened, “Steady on. No need to wreck anyone’s asshole but mine.”

 

“You’re right, perhaps that was a bit much.” Gerard looked down at his laptop, typing away.

 

“You do have a point though, Ryan didn’t ever really have much of a sense of humour. I was always the funny one.” Frank sighed, “Glad you have some funny-bone in you at least.”

 

‘What’s a good relationship without laughter, Frank? Tis boring if one not laughs when necessary, one grows old too quickly.” Gerard smiled, “I may look like I’ve always been sucking on a lemon but truth be told that’s my natural expression. Everyone always thinks I’m pissed off on something.”

 

“Tell me about it. You always look thundering.” Frank muttered, “Glad I got used to it though, but let me tell you it’s terrifying initially.”

 

“My apologies, boy.” Gerard gave Frank a small corner smile, “Now if you don’t mind. List.”

 

“Right. Yes, sir.” Frank nodded, pointedly clearing his throat, “Hood: a head covering, usually made of leather, that the Dominant wears to increase the ‘fear factor’ in a BDSM scene or a submissive is made to wear to provide some degree of sensory deprivation. Fuck me up. Green. Hogtie- to secure a person by fastening the hands and feet together. Definitely. Horse: in bondage, it is a modification of a sawhorse over which a submissive can be tied. Sometimes called a spanking bench. Green. Housework: cleaning up. Green. Humiliation? Green. Hypnotism? Wh-? Sir?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Hypnotism?”

 

“Ah,” Gerard smiled, “Erotic hypnosis is the practice of hypnosis for sexual purposes. This does not include hypnotherapy nor the therapeutic application of neurolinguistic programming and similar disciplines. A person under hypnosis is said to have heightened focus and concentration with the ability to concentrate intensely on a specific thought or memory, while blocking out sources of distraction. It's all tied up in issues of power and relinquishing control.”

 

“Red.” Frank muttered, pursing his lips, “Thank you, sir.”

 

“Any time, boy.”

  
“Ice cubes. Sure. Immobilization: extreme form of bondage where no body parts can move, one example is mummification. Not for beginners. Still sounds fun. Green. Impact play: part of sensation play, dealing with impact such as whips, riding crops, paddles, floggers, etc. God, yes. Infantilism: Parent/child or parent/baby role playing. Fuck no. Infibulation: closing off, obstructing or modifying, either permanently or temporarily, the male or female genitalia so as to alter or prevent the conduct of sexual intercourse. Wh-”

 

“One of my hard limits, I think aforementioned when we first went through this.” Gerard commented, “Don’t worry.”

 

“That’s…” Frank stared at the page in disgust as he ran the red marker over it twice, shuddering, “Japanese Clover Nipple Clamps: type of adjustable nipple clamps that tightens as it is pulled, generally preferred because they won’t easily slip off. Green. K-9 roleplay: animal roleplay- Let me stop you there, bud. Red. Kidnapping? I think the fuck not. Kinbaku: kinbaku is a Japanese style of bondage or BDSM which involves tying up the bottom using simple yet visually intricate patterns, usually with several pieces of thin rope. That sounds amazing.”

 

“It is a beautiful form of bondage, and very aesthetically pleasing, I must say.”

 

“Count me fucking in,” Frank smiled, lining it in green, “Kneeling? Yes. Knife play: slow, methodical sensation of the bottom with the edges and points of knives, usually without cutting the skin, fear of the weapon plays a large part in the stimulus of the bottom. Yes. Knot: the easiest way to fasten rope in bondage. Captain obvious, I’m sure. Green. Lash: a strike from a whip, paddle, crop or flogger. Fuck yes. Latex Play: play which uses paint on latex. Ooh, that sounds fun. Green. Leather: one of the most popular of fetish materials, many get excited by the look and/or feel of leather clothing, boots, etc. Including me. Green.”

 

“I’m glad.” Gerard nodded, eyeing Frank with a smirk that the latter just couldn’t figure out, something in it had Frank’s stomach churning with anticipation.

 

“Lectures on misbehaviour,” Frank bit his lip, “Yes, sir. Legcuffs: large handcuffs intended to be used to immobilize or restrict movement of the ankles, Yes. Leg Irons: steel ankle cuffs patterned after British prisoner restraints. How historically inclusive, I’m down. Licking: non-sexual. Yes, indeedio. Lingerie. Totally. Limits? Yes. Lorum: piercing through the skin on the underside of the penis. Nope, I got one.”

 

“Disgusting.” Gerard commented simply, making Frank snicker slightly and his cheeks flush.

 

“Lunge Whip: a whip used initially in training horses, never used directly on skin but more for the loud sound that is used to incur movement in tasks. Whoa..” Frank striped the option in green, “Maid: popular role-play where the submissive dresses up and acts like a maid. Yes. Maintenance: weekly spankings to cover the little things that might have been missed, remind the submissive to behave and allow the Dominant to release stress. Oh my god. Yes. Malacca: a thick cane. That’s highly descriptive.”

 

“I have one over there.” Gerard pointed to the umbrella stand that stood by the door, a variety of harmless-looking canes lay within its confines, “The one with the silver handle.”

 

“Oh…” Frank whispered softly, staring at it before he forced himself to look away, sucking in a shaky breath, “Maledom: a male Dominant. Oof, y’know this list is giving me such hard strife and hard words to figure out, sir.”

 

“Don’t sass the contract.”

 

Frank let out a mischievous chuckle at that, looking up to see Gerard’s eyebrow raised despite the varied laughter in his eyes, obviously trying to keep a straight face as Frank bit on his index finger, “Fine. No sassing the contract.”

 

“Good boy.”

 

“Can I sass you?” Frank asked then and Gerard stopped what he was doing, closing his laptop slightly as he leaned over it.

 

“Try it and see.” Was all he said and Frank swallowed lightly, the four words dripping with hidden threats and sheer Dominant force that Frank instantly knew not to. He looked down, whimpering softly, “That’s what I thought.”

 

“Male Domination: BDSM play where a male is the one in control or who controls the submissive. Yes, obviously. Manacle: metal restraints. Yes. Manicures- Manicures?”

 

“Simple ones.” Gerard smiled, “I have upkeep on these hands, you know. Not ashamed of it either. A Dominant and a politician both have to keep up appearances, boy.”

 

“And- And I’m meant to do it for you? Listen, sir. I may be gay but…” 

 

“It’s not difficult to do. I’ll show you some time.” Gerard waved him off as Frank nodded, striping the option in green.

 

“Martinet: small flogger. A martinet is a short, scourge-like, multi-tail type of whip made of a wooden handle with lashes made of leather. Sounds good. Masochism: act of receiving pain for sensual or sexual pleasure. Boy, you have no idea. Masochist: person who enjoys pain, usually sexually. Hello, me. Nice to see you again. Massages: giving and receiving. Well sure but I don’t know if I’m any good with that.”

 

“Well that’s what sub-training is for.” Gerard smiled shortly, “I won’t just throw you in the deep end, boy.”

 

“Oh- Oh good okay,” Frank nodded, “Master/slave: a consensual relationship in which one person receives control- the Master- when given it by another- the slave- for mutual benefit, an extreme form of D/s which usually involves a 24/7 relationship rather than a short period of time- scene or perhaps a week end. The slave will usually accept a collar from their Master to show that they are owned. I’m down for that. Medical Scene: BDSM scene involving medical scenarios. I am not down for that.”

 

“Not complaining.”

 

“Mentor: a teacher or advisor who often shows a ‘newbie’ around the world of BDSM and D/s. That’s you, right, sir?” Frank looked up to see Gerard nodding, making Frank internally beam with pride at the thought, “Mousetraps: used as a BDSM device for nipple torture. A severe and painful, cheap nipple clamp. Um… Maybe. Mummification: immobilising the body by wrapping it up, usually with multiple layers of tight thin plastic sheeting, breathing and other safety measures must be appropriately taken care of, often by leaving the face or at least the mouth and nose open. Body temperature, maintained to an extent by movement, may also be affected so a warm environment and warm aftercare may be important. Mummification is often used to enhance a feeling of total bodily helplessness, and incorporated with sensation play. Fuck that sounds awesome. Green.”

 

“One of my favourites, actually.” Gerard yet again commented shortly as he looked over something on his desk and carried on typing.

 

“Then I’m definitely in, sir.” Frank smiled excitedly, “Munch: a group of people that are into BDSM meeting at a ‘vanilla’ place in street-appropriate attire. Okay, not gonna lie, that was a very misleading title to a definition.”

 

“How so?”

 

“I- I thought…” Frank frowned, “Well y’know, I saw the word and wondered what it was doing in here considering I’m a boy and I don’t have the… Y’know, the right body parts for that.” Frank went pink, “Thought it was like, a gross way of saying ‘eating pussy’, I guess.”

 

“I’m fairly certain that is a term for eating someone out but in this case, no.” Gerard replied simply, his blasé reply had Frank’s blush reddening as he hid his face from view with his contract.

 

“Nailing: BDSM play where the scrotum or breasts are nailed to a board,” Frank frowned before adding to it, “Also a term for fucking.”

 

“It doesn’t say that last part.” Gerard frowned and Frank eyed him from atop the pages, wiggling his eyebrows at his boss, who merely shook his head and went back to work, “Mind you, it should.”

 

“This version of nailing is a no. My version however…” Frank trailed off as he striped it in red, “Nasogastric tube: used in control scenes such as forced feeding. Oh my god, no. That’s terrible. Nasolingus: sexual arousal from nose sucking. Definitely not. Necrochlesis: sex with a corpse. Also a no from me. Needle play: temporary piercings done with sterile needles of varying gauges, usually only for the duration of a scene. Hell yes.”

 

“Also one of my favourites.” Gerard stated yet again and Frank bit his lip, “I’m glad you’re willing to try it.”

 

“Negotiation: discussing hard and soft limits and related items of BDSM taste before any play or relationship begins. It helps in defining Safe, Sane and Consensual between the dominant and submissive. Green. Newbie: someone new to something such the BDSM play or lifestyle. Hello, it’s me again. How have you been, friend?” Frank muttered jokingly, striping green, “Nipple Clamps: devices that clamp onto the nipples, weights can be attached to stretch the nipples, nipple clamps often provide increased stimulation which can involve pain and pleasure. Green. Nipple Rings: Jewelry that looks like small hoop earrings that are inserted through pierced nipples. Another popular jewelry style for pierced nipples is the barbell. There also non-permanent nipple rings which stay attached by pinching the nipple. I’ve always wanted to pierce my nipples.”

 

“Perhaps you should.” Gerard offered up and Frank looked up at him with surprise, “Why not?”

 

“Well I… I don’t know why not.” Frank frowned, “I might maybe later on.”

 

“Who knows, if you behave, I may even do it myself.” Gerard shrugged, “I’ve done it may a time to my previous submissives, granted only as a temporary piercing in a scene but it’s a simple enough piercing to do and if you have the jewelry you can always just replace the needle instead.” 

 

“I- Whoa…” Frank muttered, “That’s… That’s awesome, sir.”

 

“Why thank you, boy.” Gerard smiled slightly as he reached into a drawer and pulled out a stack of papers.

 

“Nipple Torture: to cause pain to the nipples, typically by using nipple clamps, needles, mousetraps, pulling and twisting, etc. Green. Nipple Shield: decorative nipple jewelry the encircles or even covers the nipple. Sounds dope, green. Nipple Weights: usually weights suspended from either nipple clamps or from nipple piercings. Can do. Nose torture: A traditionally Japanese form of BDSM often involving nose hooks. Maybe, I mean I’ve already got the one side pierced. Novice: a newbie. Ah, me. Nyotaimori: human sushi platters? Ah that’d be so cool. Green. Hey, sir. You can eat your lunch off of me, if you want.”

 

“What if I decide to have a hot soup?” Gerard asked then, raising his eyebrow as he stapled a few pages together.

 

“I have a belly button?” Frank offered back before he beamed oafishly, watching Gerard shake his head, “Oh, c’mon.”

 

“We’ll see, Frank. Carry on with your list, you’re almost done.”

 

“Oral Sex: sex involving contact between mouth and any other sexual organ. Definitely. Orgasm control. Yes. Orgasm denial? Yes. Orogastric Tube: a tube from mouth to stomach- No, fuck no. OTK: over the knee spanking. Oh my… I uh…” Frank went pink, looking up to see Gerard eyeing him for a second, only deepening the red hue on his face as he striped it twice in green and kept going, “Outdoor scenes? I don’t want twigs in my ass, next. Paddle: a flat instrument used for spanking purposes, usually made of wood or some other rigid material. Yes. Padlock: common type of lock used in BDSM play, used to secure bondage restraints, securely fasten chain links together, as labia weights, etc. Labia weights- I- Wh- Like…”

 

“It is what you’re thinking of and yes it’s a thing.” 

 

“Talk about wizard sleeves.” Frank pursed his lips in disgust, “Pain: pain causes the release of endorphins that is thought causes the submissive to go into subspace. Green. Pain Games: BDSM play involving pain. Yes, baby, yes. Painslut: A person who enjoys receiving a heavy degree of pain but may or may not necessarily enjoy submitting. Or did you mean me? Although I do enjoy submitting.”

 

“What did I say about sassing the contract?”

 

“I- I was being… Cheeky.” Frank decided to go with, smiling shamelessly.

 

“Smart ass.” Gerard muttered, “Don’t be so cocksure of yourself, boy. Audacity gets you a brazen and peg-clipping punishment. And don’t think I won’t because you’re being cute with me.”

 

“I’m not being cute. I am cute.” Frank replied simply and Gerard pushed his chair back, making Frank yelp and curl up for cover, whimpering as he waited for a thorough smack to the head, when nothing happened. He opened his eyes to see Gerard leaning back in the chair with his arms folded, looking sanctimoniously over at his submissive.

 

“My thoughts exactly.”

 

“Wh- You…” Frank looked at Gerard with a scowl, “That’s not nice.”

 

“I think you’ll come to find, boy… That I’m not nice.” Gerard’s voice was firm and dark, the edge to it had Frank’s heart pick up a pace or two against his ribs, making his lungs ache.

 

Frank looked down again, swallowing as he realised that perhaps Gerard was getting to him more than he should be and he was currently nursing one of his most inopportune semis. He withheld the urge to groan as he adjusted his legs, hoping Gerard hadn’t noticed.

 

“Don’t think I didn’t see that.” Gerard commented as if on cue, “I’m well aware of what’s happening to you and so far you’re not behaving so I’m not going to do anything about it.”

 

Frank let out a whimper, frowning at the pages in his hand as he tried to will away the half a boner in his jeans with the marker clutched firmly in his hand, “Parachute Ball Stretcher: a toy resembling a parachute from which weights can be suspended in ball torture scenes. Ah, that ought to do it. Consider myself chub free.... Paraphilia: recurrent, intense, sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors generally involving non-human objects, the suffering or humiliation of oneself or one's partner, children, and non-consenting persons. Green for sure. Permanent Piercing: piercing the body in order to insert jewelry that is intended to be worn on at least a semi-permanent basis. Definitely. Phone sex. Oh yes. Piss Play: watersports, golden showers. Count me in.”

 

Frank striped through his options, turning the page slowly when the first one already had him on edge. He instantly uncapped the yellow marker without hesitation. 

 

“Play party: a BDSM event involving many people engaging in scenes. Ooh, I dunno. Yeah, yellow here. Play Piercing: piercing the body temporarily, all piercings are removed at the end of the session. Sure, yeah. ProDom: male professional Dominant that charges money. No thanks. Prince Albert: a male piercing between the urethra and the underside of the penis. Not named after the Prince of Monaco,” Frank started giggling profusely, “I love that they had to specify that, like the Prince of Monaco would get butthurt about having a piercing after him. I’d be stoked. Although.. Yeah, I’m not really a prince.”

 

“Who says?” Gerard then queried after a bout of silence, his question making Frank look up in surprise, “No one said you’re not.”

 

“I mean, officially I’m not a prince, not like that.” Frank waved a hand dismissively, striping the piercing in red.

 

“Well maybe not like that, but you are to me, boy. I may be the Dominant and hold a power over you but that by no means lessens your worth.” Gerard expressed firmly and Frank could have sworn he felt his organs melt into a mess of goo at the words spoken directly at him.

 

“Y- I- You mean that?” He asked, barely being able to find his voice as it shook.

 

“I have no reason not to, boy.” Gerard smiled slightly, “You and I are in a relationship now and I treat you with respect when not in scene. It’s you who has to earn it physically but in my heart, it’s there.”

 

“I-” Frank looked down, his mouth pricking in the corners as his eyes filled with sudden and unnecessary tears that had him look down, trying to sniff as quietly as possible as he pushed back his tears, his heart practically about to explode in his chest, “Thank you, sir.”

 

“And I mean it, Frank.” Gerard continued his proclamation, “I think very highly of you. I don’t have just anyone in my sheets or on my mind.”

  
“I-” Frank frowned when he found himself at a loss for words, realising that he was unable to say anything back, yes he knew Gerard felt that way, he had outright stated it but Frank was frozen and unable to reciprocate. He couldn’t bring it to himself to say anything back before he set the contract down and ran out of the office, the tears running down his cheeks in a torrent of fear and inordinate amounts of shock.

 

He ran into the spare room he had slept in the first night he was here and shut the door, leaning up against it as he hyperventilated, trying to counteract the panic attack that had hit him too quickly and without warning. 

 

He didn’t mean for it to happen, he didn’t warrant Gerard saying the things he did so quickly, he hadn’t expected it and he knew Gerard wouldn’t want him to say any of it back if he didn’t mean it. And Frank knew he was overreacting. Gerard hadn’t dropped the L-bomb on him, he had simply told Frank that he cared about him. Frank let out a small whimper as he slid down the door onto his ass, shaking slightly as his mind went over everything that had happened in the span of a few minutes.

 

He hoped that Gerard wouldn’t be mad at him for bailing suddenly, he hoped he hadn’t spilled something or broken something in his haste to get out of the all-too-stuffy office where his about-to-be Dominant but already-partner was seated. Frank was aware that their contract had officially been put in place on the day he signed it, he was aware that it had been two days since then so in actuality Gerard was already his Dominant. He knew Gerard was taking it slow with him considering he had never done this before and he was beyond grateful.

 

But now, now all he could do was think about how badly and inadvertently Ryan had fucked him up. Frank was so haunted and broken by his ex that he could barely tell his new lover that he cared about him, nothing too huge to say, and not even a lie. It just wouldn’t come out. Frank had bared all with Ryan and made sure that Ryan knew his every feeling and look where it had gotten him, he was so afraid to tell Gerard how he felt for fear of the same thing.

 

And it was irrational, Frank knew this to be true, he knew Ryan and Gerard were like fire and ice, two completely different people, but that’s what insecure fears of the mind are… Irrational.

 

“Frank?”

 

“How did you-?” Frank jumped, looking up to see Gerard standing nearby, his eyes going to the ajar door beside his Master, “Where?”

 

“En-suite bathroom goes into the hallway.” Gerard whispered softly before carefully taking a step forward, “What happened, boy?”

 

“I- I got scared and stupid…” Frank admitted, “And I just…”

 

“Was it what I said?”

 

“Would you be angry if I said ‘yes’?” Frank asked gingerly and looked up to see Gerard crouch down beside him, still keeping a small distance between them just in case, a caring precaution.

 

“Of course not. I didn’t know you would react that way. I thought what I said would be a comfort to you.” Gerard pursed his lips, the perfect show of sympathy that Frank found sickly sweet.

 

“It- It was.” Frank wiped a stray tear as he sniffed, leaning his head back against the door, “I just… I didn’t realise that subconsciously I’d gone without it for so long, or- Maybe that’s harsh. I know Ryan cared but… Not in the way I needed. He’d always make sure I looked okay or that I was doing okay in my job, never really making sure that I was emotionally okay or if I needed any sort of affection.”

 

“I see…” 

 

“I guess it was just unexpected and I felt so obligated to say something back and when I tried I- I realised that I just… I couldn’t. I was so afraid that you’d throw it in my face or that I’d get hurt again. And not in the way I want to be with you.” Frank looked down, fidgeting his hands in his lap, “And I know it’s not true but I can’t help it. I loved him.”

 

“I understand that.” Gerard began as he went from his crouched position onto his knees, “And that’s okay. I’m not expecting anything until you’re okay with it. There’s a rule of thumb that states that the amount of time you need to get over a previous lover is half the time you were together.”

 

“Th- Three years?” Frank sputtered, “Th- I can’t do that.”

 

“No one said you have to, but that’s just your leeway period. I’m a patient man, Frank.” Gerard shrugged, “If you need three years then take it.”

 

“I just… I hate how he affects me still, after all this. What if I never get over him? That’ll tear us apart. I can’t have him affect my relationship with you. I won’t let him.” Frank frowned angrily, scowling in annoyance at the man who wasn’t even here.

 

“We’ll work this out, okay?” Gerard carefully put his hand on Frank’s shoulder, “Why don’t you recollect yourself and then meet me in my room, hmm? We can go over the last few parts of your contract and then do whatever you want.”

 

“You’re being nice to me again.” Frank managed a laugh, looking up to see the small smile on Gerard’s face.

 

“Shouldn’t I be? I can be mean.” Gerard offered as he stood up with more practiced agility than Frank had in his entire body.

 

“I have no doubt.” Frank muttered as he took Gerard’s extended hand and used it to help himself up, going to let go when Gerard merely reeled him in, “Whoa.”

 

Frank could feel the silent vibration of a soft chuckle go through Gerard as he was being held against him. The warmth soothing his mental turbulence as he cautiously wrapped his arms around Gerard for the first time, embracing him nervously.

 

“There, not so bad.” Gerard whispered, his lips pressed against the top of Frank’s head, the comforting reminder that Frank had grown to know as of late, “Better?”

 

“Y- Yeah…” Frank muttered as he closed his eyes.

 

“Good.” Gerard began to slowly let go and Frank reluctantly did the same, sniffing softly as Gerard held his shoulders, “You take a minute, okay?”

 

“Yes, sir.” Frank sighed out a long breath before looking up, “Thank you.”

 

Gerard ran his hand softly over Frank’s cheek before it dropped and he turned, walking out of the door he had come through, leaving Frank alone with his cheek tingling at the cool touch to his red hot, tear-stained cheek.

 

“Fuck.” Frank muttered softly to himself, running his hands over his face once or twice before he turned a full 360, taking in his surroundings to ease his anxiety, “Fucking idiot.”

 

After Frank had taken a minute or so to calm himself down he wandered back out of the room and down the hallway, stopping at Gerard’s door before he pushed it open and peered in, looking around when he caught sight of Gerard standing by his wardrobe, back to the door.

 

“Sir?”

 

“Yes, boy?” Gerard asked as he turned to look at Frank who had now carefully walked into the bedroom, hands clasped in front of him awkwardly.

 

“Just thanks…” Frank muttered, pursing his lips as he nervously ran his tongue stud over the roof of his mouth, “Thanks.”

 

“You just get yourself comfortable on the bed, boy.” Gerard gestured to the large mattress that Frank found so inviting and yet so foreboding at the same time, “I brought your papers and markers with me. We’ll get it done and dusted in no time, okay?”

 

“Y- Yeah, okay.” Frank nodded, telling both Gerard and himself of this fact, he was determined to get it finished now or never.

 

And hopefully the former. 

 

Frank looked at Gerard’s bed with sudden nerves creeping in his stomach, he had barely been in Gerard’s room as it was, seeing it maybe twice in his life, stepping into it once and now here he was. Finally being able to get a look at it with it's hardwood floors and the soft-looking beige carpet that stood sticking out from under the bed.

 

Oh, the bed was just what Frank expected, dark hardwood four poster that looked so sturdy but so old, the postered columns in that old-style of rounded varying widths as they went up to a point a few feet up. The bed was high, the white and beige filigree sheets tucked in meticulously with the matching pillows, a dark red throw in the softest fabric was draped haphazardly across the bottom with two small red cushions that matched it. The bed was sat between two end tables in the same wood with tiny drawers situated all over it. There were two tall white, vintage-looking lamps with dark stands as well, a small potted plant on either table to add more colour. In the corner of the room sat a a large, red velvet arm chair that Frank was dying to sit in and curl up under the white, fluffy throw Gerard had artistically placed over it.

 

The other corner where Gerard was had a large and expansive built in closet, the doors in the same dark wood, a lengthy mirror down the side of the wall beside it, a tall ficus plant stood on the opposite end in a red pot. The room was exactly what Frank had envisioned when he had first seen it upon arrival, but it was so much more beautiful once he stood in it.

 

“Frank?”

 

“Huh- What? Shit, sorry. Pardon?” Frank stuttered, Gerard’s voice pulling him from his daze completely, making him turn slightly to look at Gerard who had gotten undressed and dressed in the time it took Frank to inspect Gerard’s room. He was now in a simple lilac Beatles t-shirt and a pair of black boxers to mid-thigh. Frank cursed himself internally that he had missed Gerard getting dressed but he pushed it aside.

 

“You drifted for a moment there.” Gerard commented as he wandered over and lay himself on the bed, propping himself up on his elbow on his side.

 

“Right…” Frank muttered softly as he shook his head, walking over as he unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them down, tugging them off before haphazardly folding them over his arm and setting them down on the floor, keeping his old and moth-holed black Golden Girls sweatshirt on that he had snagged from Goodwill over five years before. 

 

Frank tugged at the bottom of it slightly before he carefully lifted himself up, not quite realising how high Gerard’s bed was, the top of the mattress hitting him hip high thanks to the thick mattress and the lengthy legs of the bed. 

 

“Good boy.” Gerard smiled, crossing his one leg over the other at the ankles when Frank grabbed his contract and the markers and rolled onto his stomach, opening to the right page as he swung his legs up behind him lazily.

 

“Right.” Frank exhaled slowly, “Press Style Nipple Clamps: these are nipple clamps that press the nipple between two pieces of metal usually forced together by a thumb screw. The thumb screw allows them to be squeezed tight or just enough to stay in place. Fair enough. Green. Prison scenes: the submissive being the prisoner and the Dominant plays the warden in the scene, varying forms of unfair treatment. Sure. Public exposure? No. Punishment scenes. Yes. Pup-play: sub is made to act like a puppy. Sub barks, whines, eats from a bowl, etc. Such play is sexual, but also focuses on the altered mind-space of bottom/pup and the complete dominance of his/her Trainer/Master. Perhaps the most popular of animal RPGs. Here, the submissive actually mimics a puppy. Sometimes it can evolve into a lifestyle where the “puppy” even sleeps in a cage. Oh for God sake. Are you hinting?”

 

“I swear I’m not.” Gerard chuckled and Frank narrowed his eyes at his partner, scrutinising his amused expression, “I’m really not. I told you a lot of things are repeated because there are varying terms for it.”

 

“Fine.” Frank looked back, lining it all in red, “Pushy Bottom: old school phrase for a very demanding bottom, associated with Topping from the bottom. A-ha, green. Quirt: a type of buggy whip used for whipping the submissive, easier and safer to use than a bullwhip. Alright, I can dig it. RPG: abbreviation for Role Play Games. Green. Rack: Bondage furniture patterned after the infamous torture device of the Inquisition, the bottom is put on it and ‘stretched’ but not in the extreme fatal way. Whoa, I like that. Green. RACK: Risk Aware Consensual Kink. Well yes, green. Rape fantasy, ravishment. Oof, fuck me up with that. Real Life or Real Time, r/l or r/t: as opposed to virtual or cyber life. Okay, green I guess. Red: Most common safe word meaning stop. I’ve seen this, I don’t understand it.”

 

“What, boy?”

 

“The whole red thing.” Frank frowned, “I don’t get it.”

 

“Oh.” Gerard turned back onto his side and looked at Frank, “It’s called the Light System and it’s used as a way of expressing yourself in the scene. So if the Dominant starts doing something you’ve got concerns with, you give them a ‘yellow’ and if they do something you’re not okay with, you give them a ‘red’. Like a traffic light. Green is hardly ever used unless it’s for confirmation that they’re doing something good.”

 

“Why don’t we use that?” Frank’s frown deepened and Gerard shrugged.

 

“It’s your choice but I always found it so impersonal, I’d rather have a word and signal that we could share instead.” Gerard pursed his lips before continuing, “But if you’d prefer using the light system-”

 

“No- No, I was just curious. I’m good with our safe signals.” Frank reassured, “They’re good.”

 

“Good.” Gerard sighed softly, “Good.”

 

“Religious scenes? What, like Catholic school boys and priests?” Frank asked with a chuckle as he highlighter it in green, “Brilliant. Restraint: limiting the bottom’s movement with the use of various bondage gear, equipment or devices. Yes. Restriction: limiting the bottom’s behavior or physical movement. Yes. Riding Crop: a firm, leather tipped crop used for hardened whipping. Yes please. Riding the Horse: A wooden horse, or cavaletto squarciapalle, is a torture device, of which there exist two variations both inflict pain by using the subject's own weight by keeping the legs open, tied with ropes from above, while lowering down the submissive. The French called this instrument the Chevalet, from the French diminutive of cheval, horse. That sounds painful as fuck. I’m down.”

 

“No great shocker there.” Gerard commented casually and Frank shot him a playful scowl as he slid the green marker over the line.

 

“Rimming: tongue contact with the rectum or asshole. You bet. Ring Gag: a device that keeps the submissive’s mouth wide open. Also called a ‘piss gag’. Excellent. Rituals and Protocol: A protocol is any defined, enforced code of behavior, and or rituals whether it be within the confines of a particular group, community, or other interpersonal dynamic. In this case the Dominant will set out rules and regulations of rituals that need to be done on a daily or weekly schedule. Okay. Do we have this?”

 

“I do. Those are the ones we spoke about at breakfast.” Gerard smiled reassuringly, “Your sub training.”

 

“Okay.” Frank lined it in green, “Role Play Games: taking fantasy roles in BDSM scenes, for example, nurse or doctor/patient, etc. Green, as long as there’s no doctors.”

 

“Duly noted.” 

 

“Rope: the most common of bondage equipment. Then green it is. Rubber: after leather, the most popular fetish material. I can see why. Green. Sadism: the act of inflicting pain. Yes. Sadist: Person who enjoys inflicting pain, usually sexually. Oh look, sir. It’s you.” 

 

“Well indeed it is, well spotted.” Gerard replied with a small and fleeting smile.

  
“Sadomasochism: the perversion of taking pleasure, especially sexual gratification from simultaneous sadism and masochism. Green. Safe, sane and consensual: a popular slogan in the BDSM world meaning that play should always be safe, with good judgment exercised. And, most importantly, it must be consensual. Green, I like that. Safe Word: a word or phrase a submissive can use to stop his or her scene. It is absolute. If a Dominant disregards a submissive’s safe word, that Dominant is considered ‘unsafe.’ The most common safe word is ‘Red’. Some also use a caution word such as ‘Yellow’ to signify that the dominant is approaching a limit. Oh I see.”

 

“As I said.”

 

“As you did.” Frank smiled, “Such a good mentor, sir.”

 

“Oh, I’m getting praise now, is it?” Gerard asked jokingly, “Are you the Dominant now?”

 

“Well no, I highly doubt that but, I mean, why not?” Frank smiled brightly, “What if you do something good, why don’t you deserve to know it was well received?”

 

“Such a thoughtful heart in you, boy.” Gerard reached up, the back of his finger casually brushing Frank’s cheek, “It’s a rarity in this day and age and it’s quite suited on you.”

 

“You’re so mush when you wanna be.” Frank felt himself go pink, leaning into the touch as he looked at Gerard.

 

“It’s the romantic French side in me, it comes out every now and again in the most inopportune moments.” Gerard smiled slightly, “Whenever it sees fit whether I like it or not.”

 

“Well it’s quite suited on you too.” Frank smiled before he turned back to his contract, “Safe Sex: using condoms and taking all necessary health precautions during sex. Green. Saint Andrew’s Cross: a popular piece of BDSM furniture where a submissive can be conveniently tied or cuffed to it and rendered immobile. That sounds wicked, actually. I’m in. SAM: Smart Assed Masochist, a pseudo submissive who attempts to control everything the dominant does. Eh, I don’t think I’m like that.”

 

“You’re smart-assed, yes. But you’re very submissive, so that specific term isn’t for you.” Gerard informed as Frank striped it in yellow.

  
“Saran Wrap: a brand of cling film used in mummification scenes. Green. Scarification: scarification is a form of body modification in which individuals scar or brand themselves by scratching, etching, cutting, or burning designs into their skin. Uh, I’ll go with maybe. Scratching: giving. I’m definitely a scratcher. Scratching: getting. I won’t say no obviously. Scat play: feces play. Fuck no. School Role-play: popular RPG wherein the submissive is the ‘bad schoolboy’ and the Dominant is the ‘teacher’. Oof, fuck me up. Scene: a time period of BDSM activities also used to refer to the BDSM community ‘the Scene’. Sure, sure.”

 

“So nonchalant.” Gerard stifled a yawn and Frank giggled lightly, toying his tongue ring over the bottom of his teeth slowly as he markered away.

 

“Self-Bondage: the practice of performing bondage on oneself by oneself. I- Oh.”

 

“What?” Gerard frowned and Frank felt himself going bright crimson in the face as the memory came screaming back to him, making him bury his face in his arms and a small groan leave him, “Frank?”

 

“Nooo…” Frank whined as Gerard put a hand on his arm, “No don’t, I’m hiding in shame.”

 

“Frank, what in God’s name?” Gerard began prying Frank from his own limbs with more force than Frank anticipated, fingers digging into his flesh so hard that he eventually succumbed, letting Gerard break him, his face reappearing, “What’s gotten into you, boy?”

 

“I have a confession.” Frank admitted with a small groan.

 

“Is this an ‘I have a sneaky chocolate before bed’ confession or an ‘I’m married to a goat’ confession?” Gerard raised an eyebrow and Frank thought for a moment, looking up and realising just how easily Gerard had rolled him over, leaning over him with his hands still holding Frank’s arms down on the bed, the contract under Frank’s head.

 

“This is in the middle.” Frank finally announced, “Like… Okay, so a thing happened a couple days ago that might fall under the category we just discussed and I didn’t even remember it until now and I feel such shame for it but I don’t at the same time.”

 

“What? Did you do something?”

 

“Well I- Okay, after we slept together I thought you didn’t want anything to do with me and what we had was just a pity fuck. And it fucking hurt like a bitch, to be honest. And I thought that would be the end of my sex life for a while so I decided to do something about it, something for myself.” Frank explained, squeezing his eyes shut, “So I- I went on my lunch break and bought myself a toy of sorts.”

 

“Frank Iero, I'm well aware of your dildo.” Gerard stated outright, making Frank groan and try and squirm out of his grasp when he remembered that Gerard had previously found Jim.

 

“You fucking know I used it.” Frank scowled ruefully as the colour returned to his cheeks as he remembered the humiliation.

 

“By the way, was that in the nondescript black packet under your desk? I just thought you bought some knock-off shoes. I didn’t think you had it in you, boy. I’m impressed. Have you properly used it by the way?”

 

“Well, see…” Frank began, “That’s the thing. I- I have. Twice. On the same day.”

 

“The same day?” Gerard seemed surprised.

 

“The first one was purely your fault, I’ll have you know.” Frank scowled, “You and your dark teal suit and I had just come down from realising we’d fucked and it had opened so many things for me, what with me bottoming and I couldn’t shake you in my head so I…” 

 

Frank paused, his head suddenly in conflict whether or not he should tell Gerard both of the times he had used his new toy, the first time at work no less. He suddenly realised that he’d probably get in so much shit for that and should most likely leave it out.

 

“Yes…?” Gerard pried curiously.

 

“I took it with me and I- Well I-...” Frank let out a groan, “It’s your fault with the way you grabbed me. I was so hard up and I really couldn’t help myself from wanting you that night after work. And when you grabbed me and told me off, it- it was something I hadn’t expected to like. And I tried so hard to just be normal when I was jerking off but it wasn’t enough so I ended up…” Frank cleared his throat, “Trying to get the same feeling of you.”

 

“How so?”

 

“Tied myself up with a belt.” Frank whispered, the blush that had somewhat subsided now reared it’s head, coating his face in an even ruddier hue than before, “Bound my wrists up as best I could and I- I couldn’t move the dildo like I wanted to I stuck it to something and y’know.”

 

“You rode it, didn’t you?” Gerard asked, the words falling so heatedly but so calmly from his mouth as though it were a mere conversation about the weather. Frank did not feel the same just yet and despite his best efforts he still couldn’t shake his shyness, “You did.”

 

“I did, I stuck it to the side of the wardrobe and sat on the top of the vanity table.” Frank screwed his eyes shut, unable to look at Gerard as the shame clouded over him, “Couldn’t help it. You were all I could think of.”

 

“What I wouldn’t give to see that.” Gerard sighed softly and Frank tried to squirm again, desperately trying to hide his face, “It’s no use, boy. I’ve got you down, now.”

 

Frank let out a whimper, scowling, “I have to finish my contract.”

 

“Is that the only reason you want to get away?”

 

“Yes.” Frank lied, feeling Gerard’s grip slacken before he moved away, pulling the pages out from under Frank’s head, the latter opening his eyes to see Gerard examining it.

 

“So, boy. How about serving as art?” Gerard looked up from the contract and Frank nodded, watching Gerard light it green with the marker, “Furniture, I’m sure you’ve said yes.”

 

“Y- Yes, sir.”

 

“Serving as a maid, you’ve agreed to. Serving as a waiter?”

 

“Yes.”

  
“Serving orally in a sexual manner?” Gerard looked up with a smirk and Frank let out a groan, “Green, Shackles: metal or leather bondage restraint device consisting of round cuffs joined by a chain or bar?”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

“Good. Sensation play: BDSM play where the intent is to push people's sensory limits, thus exploring texture, sensory deprival, through to whips, flagellation and edgeplay?”

 

“Just…” Frank sighed, “Yes.”

 

“Alright,” Gerard greened it as well, “Service-oriented submission: a person who enjoys performing a service in a sexual or BDSM environment?”

 

“Green.”

 

“Excellent. Shoe Fetish: one who enjoys shoes, a popular fetish, even in the vanilla world.” Gerard looked up and Frank gave a nod, “Skinny dipping?”

 

“Never done it.” Frank shrugged, “But I’d like to.”

 

“We will someday.” Gerard smiled, “Slapper: a rigged paddle modified to make a loud sound.”

 

“Green.”

  
“Slave: a term used interchangeably with ‘submissive’, some consider a slave a more extreme version of a submissive?”

 

“Emerald.”

 

“Slave Contract: a signed consensual contract, wherein a submissive or slave cedes to the Dom or Master a specified set of powers over her for a set period of time although legally unenforceable, it is still a powerful document between dominant and slave.”

 

“Lime.” Frank sighed, now deciding to turn it into a game to see how many shades of red, yellow and green he knew. 

  
“Sleep deprivation?”

 

“Olive.”

  
“Olive is technically both categorised as a yellow and a green.”

 

“Green.”

 

“Sleep sacks: Sleepsacks are a type of bondage BDSM gear, sleepsacks are primarily used to confine a person comfortably for an extended period of time similar to a conventional sleeping bag, a person climbs into a sleepsack and is usually zipped into it up to their neck.”

 

“Forest.”

  
“Slutty clothing?” 

 

“Mint.”

  
“Sound: Medical device to be inserted into the urethra in medical play, also called urethral sounds?”

 

“Oh, uh… Crimson.”

 

“Are you having fun?” Gerard asked and Frank nodded, smiling as he stared up at the ceiling, putting a hand under his head, “S&M, Sadism and masochism. One who enjoy administering pain and one who enjoys receiving pain.”

 

“Teal. Wait, that’s green right?”

 

“It is,” Gerard affirmed as he used the marker on the line in question, “Spandex?”

 

“Viridian.”

 

“Oh, we’re getting fancy now, I see,” Gerard muttered, using the green marker, “Spanking: to slap on the buttocks with the open hand, or a short flat object such as a paddle or a hairbrush. Used as both punishment and/or in role-play context in BDSM scenes?”

 

“Shit, uh…” Frank frowned, wracking his brain, “Damn it.”

 

“You’re looking for Jade, I believe.”

 

“That’s the one.” Frank smiled, “Thank you.”

 

“Of course,” Gerard cleared his throat, “Spanking Bench: BDSM furniture, a variation on the sawhorse, onto which a submissive is attached by cuffs, rope, etc. for the Dominant to spank and play with?”

 

“Citrine.” Frank grinned, hearing Gerard ‘hmm’ in approval, obviously impressed.

 

“Speculum: medical device intended for opening and examining the rectum or vagina; used mostly in ‘doctor/medical scene’ play?”

 

“Scarlet.”

 

“Speech restrictions?”

 

“Uh… Acid green?”

 

“I’ll allow it,” Gerard replied simply, “Spencer Paddle: type of wooden paddle with holes drilled through it.?”

 

“Sage.”

  
“Spreader Bar: A long metal rod that holds the submissive legs, thighs or even wrists wide apart?”

 

“Isn’t Sap a shade of green?”

 

“It is, boy.” Gerard chuckled, “Sap it is. Soft Limits?”

 

“I’m running out of green.” Frank muttered with disapproval, “Fuck. Uh. I’m making shit up now. Slytherin green.”

 

“Alright.” Gerard chuckled, “Standing in the corner” a form of punishment?”

 

“Turquoise? That’s green I think.”

 

“Sure.” Gerard muttered, turning the page over to the next one, “Almost done. Stocks: a piece of bondage furniture patterned after the Puritan model, the head and hands go through holes while the submissive is standing?”

 

“Uh… Army green? Khaki? What’s it called? That ugly one.”

 

“Both are acceptable,” Gerard smiled, “Straightjacket: confining device used mostly in psychiatric wards to restrain the insane, it is intended to prevent the movement of the arms and is usually impossible to remove without assistance?”

 

“Um… Lemon?”

 

“Yellow it is,” Gerard muttered, “Strangling?”

 

“Chartreuse.”

 

“Excellent choice, boy. Although also, chartreuse can be either yellow or green depending on the shade, I knew what you meant.” Gerard smiled, striking with green, “Strapon: a belt or harness that has a dildo attached. It allows the wearer the ability to fuck another either in the vagina or anus?”

 

“Garnet.” Frank nodded, “That’s red, yeah?”

 

“And also the birthstone for January.” Gerard added in nonchalantly as he uncapped the red marker and swiped it across the line, “Strapping: Another term for a beating?”

 

“Sea? Sea green?” Frank scrunched up his nose, “We keep this up I’m gonna have to start naming green stuff.”

 

“Up to you, boy.” Gerard replied idly, “Subdrop: a physical condition, often with cold- or flu-like symptoms, experienced by a submissive after an intense session of BDSM play, this can last for as long as a week, and is best prevented by aftercare immediately after the session.”

 

“Whoa, really?” Frank turned away from the ceiling to Gerard, “That’s insane.”

 

“It’s a great physical stress on your body, Frank. What did you expect?” Gerard frowned, “What do you say?”

 

“Well, uh… If we’re on birthstones then, I said emerald.. What’s that other one? Peridot, was it?”

 

“That’s the one.” Gerard smiled, marking it green, “Submission: the act of submitting to the will and desire of another, usually within negotiated limits?”

 

“Uh…” Frank pursed his lips, “Dunno much about other stones and shit. Damn.”

 

“Many stones come in green shades.” Gerard commented, striking the line in green yet again, “Actinolite, malachite, opal, agate…”

 

“You know everything, don’t you?” Frank asked sarcastically, seeing an almost pink blush to Gerard’s cheeks that could have been a trick of the light as he moved slightly.

 

“I know enough about many things.” Gerard’s answer was cryptic, “Submissive, or sub for short: a person that gives up control either all the time or for a specified period, not to be confused with bottom or slave?”

 

“Green.” Frank sighed, “Dunno enough green things.”

 

“You did well though.” Gerard smiled encouragingly, “Very well. Subspace: a ‘natural high’ that a sub or bottom gets during a scene or when being controlled, the sub may feel disconnected from time, space, and/or their body, and may have limited ability to communicate. It is critical that a Dom or top take responsibility for the sub/bottom and be aware of their sub's well being if they are in subspace.”

 

“That sounds awesome.” Frank muttered, “Green. And uh…”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Can- Can I do some?” Frank asked, “If- If I do then… Can- Can you hold me like you were before?”

 

“Of course.” Gerard smiled as he handed everything back to Frank, who rolled back onto his stomach, taking the contract back as Gerard slid closer and draped an arm over Frank’s lower back.

 

“Supplying Dom with partners? Yeah, definitely not. Surface Burn: a temporary brand, usually produced with copper wire heated less hot than steel used in making a permanent brand. Yes. Surface Piercing: temporary piercing through the skin’s surface. Yes. Suspension: suspending a submissive with ropes, webbing or chain so that no part of the body touches the floor. Not recommended for beginners. Oh definitely. Suspension upright? Yes. Suspension inverted? Yes. Swallowing? Well, I mean why wouldn’t you?”

 

“It’s a judgement call.”

 

“Yeah, for pussies.” Frank snorted, “Swapping: with another person. Fuck that. Swinging: with another couple. Definitely a no. Switch: someone who likes being both top and bottom, either in one scene or on different occasions. Could do, yeah. Yellow. Taken in hand: 24/7 Male dominance in monogamous marriage, with or without BDSM aspects. That’s cute. Green. Tattooing. Green. Tease and denial. Oh God, yes.”

 

“Keeping that in mind.” Gerard muttered, giving Frank’s hip a light squeeze, making his stomach jump.

 

“TENS Unit: acronym for Trans...cutaneous Electrical Neural Stimulation unit, used for sexual stimulation is electrical play scenes, known as a violet wand. Sounds good. Temporary Piercing: piercing the body temporarily. Yes. Thermolysis: a form of electrical hair removal. A-no. Thong Whip: a whip made of thin strands of either leather or rubber, when swung lightly it will not cause much pain, when swung hard it can cause considerable pain. Fuck yes. Tickling, oh lord. Yes but no. Yes. No. Maybe. Yellow.”

 

“Watch yourself,” Gerard smiled coyly, his fingertips grazing over Frank’s hip, making him jerk and cackle suddenly, wriggling from Gerard’s grip, “I have no issues tickling you, boy.”

 

“Definitely yellow,” Frank huffed, “TNG: The Next Generation, a tag commonly used by groups and organizations which cater to younger people involved in BDSM, typically ages 18–35. Ah, you just missed the cut. You’re a whole Bondage generation older than me.”

 

“Don’t remind me.” Gerard frowned, “It just means I know what I’m doing.”

 

“Silver lining to your silver hair.” Frank snickered, earning a sudden slap to the side of the hip that had him yelp in surprise, the light pain resonating under his skin, “I- Uh…”

 

“You were saying?”

 

“Top: a Dominant partner,” Frank cleared his throat, “Is this do I want one or do I want to be one?”

 

“Want one.” Gerard clarified and Frank nodded, lining it in green.

 

“Topping from the bottom: this is where a submissive dictates the action in a scene, something that is highly frowned upon, can also be used in real time context when a submissive becomes too demanding. Uh… Maybe? I guess I could try. TPE or Total power exchange: a relationship where the Dominant or owner has complete authority and influence over the submissive's life, making the majority of decisions. Yes please. Training? Sí. Tragus: piercing through the ridge on the face side of the ear hole. Uh, no. Transgender: Not quite male, not quite female. That is offensive even to me.”

 

“They don’t mean it in a gendered way like if one is actually and physically transgender. They mean it purely for a scene. Look at the next term on the list.” Gerard gestured with a wave towards the list before putting his arm back over Frank. 

  
“Transgenderism: incorporating manners, behaviors, appearance, etc of the opposite sex while still maintaining some of the above of your biological sex when in a scene. Oh… Uh… Red to both of those.” Frank cleared his throat, “Triple penetration. Wh-?

 

“Something in your ass, another in your mouth and the last thing in your dick.” Gerard shrugged and Frank’s eyes widened before he scratched the line out with yellow.

 

“Tweezer Nipple Clamps: A style of nipple clamp that is like a pair of tweezers with a ring around the outside. As you push the ring toward the pincher ends, it causes the clamp to tighten or bite. Yellow. Uniforms. Green. Urethral Play: play involving the urethra, the tube that runs between the bladder and the outside of the body. Not for beginners. And not for me. Urethral Sound: medical device to be inserted into the urethra in medical play. No. Vacuum Pumping: Using the suction of a vacuum to increase the size of body parts. Maybe. Vampirism: sexual arousal caused by drinking blood. Red. Verbal humiliation. Oh God, every shade of green.”

 

“Oh really?”

 

“You have no idea,” Frank shuddered lightly at the thought, feeling it resonate almost as much as the slap had done, “Vibrators? Yes. Videoing? Yes.  Violet Wand: An electronic device usually in form of a glass cylinder, which uses the effect of high frequency electric charges to apply intense stimulation. Totally. Vanilla- ha. Okay, sure, yeah. Warm up: the period at a beginning of a BDSM scene which involves gentle play, allowing the bottom to begin endorphin production, enter subspace, and undergo physiological changes such as bringing fluids to the surface before impact play that will accommodate more intense play. Green. Water Sports: the sexual enjoyment of urine play, also called Golden Showers or GS. Also called Frank-likey.”

 

“Such a wonder….” Gerard repeated simply as Frank marked his options accordingly.

 

“Water torture? Yeah. Wattenburg Wheel: a medical pinwheel that is commonly used in BDSM play to stimulate or cause a feeling sensation. Yes. Wax play? Fuck yeah. Waxing? Maybe. Wearing symbolic jewelry? Symbolic of what?”

 

“Like of our relationship for one,” Gerard offered up, “Or of the lifestyle. Pendants and such. Like I do.”

 

“What?” Frank frowned and Gerard lifted up a simple leather bracelet around his wrist with a round metal symbol in the middle of it, the symbol similar to that of a Yin-Yang with only three pieces to it instead of two, “What’s that mean?”

 

“It’s the BDSM lifestyle symbol.” Gerard smiled, “Lindsey had it made for me.”

 

“It’s really cool.” Frank smiled, looking at the symbol for a moment, “I’d wear something like that, yeah.”

 

“Good to know, boy.” Gerard gave his hip another squeeze, “Looks like you’re almost done too.”

 

“Not gonna lie, I’m a little relieved.” Frank chuckled dryly, “Web: a bondage device, popular in many dungeons, created with ropes that are spun like a spider’s web. Yes. Weights: used to stretch body parts such as nipples and labia; usually attached to clamps or piercings. Oof- fuck. Sounds painful but I’m in. Whip: usually made of leather with a medium size handle and long braided leather strings. Yes. Whipping Post: in olden times, a post to which offenders were fastened for whippings, reproductions are sometimes used in BDSM dungeons. Count me down for that. Wooden paddles. And yes.”

 

Frank dropped the marker, sighing in relief as he turned to look at Gerard, beaming with pride as a sense of completion came over him.

 

“Look at you.” Gerard chuckled.

 

“Ah- I fucking did it.” Frank grinned happily, “Awesome.”

 

“How about as a celebration of you fucking doing it,” Gerard merely pushed Frank right over onto his back, pinning him down as he had before, “I fucking do you instead?”

 

“Only if you promise me one thing.” Frank grinned up at Gerard, watching as the latter slipped graciously between the younger’s legs.

 

“And that is?” Gerard asked, hands on either side of Frank’s head.

 

“That you doing me will take as long as me having to do that contract.” Frank chuckled dryly up at Gerard who sat up, tugging his t-shirt up and off with a simple, one-action motion.

 

“I’m sure I can arrange that, boy. Only question is…” Gerard muttered as he forcefully pulled Frank up into a sitting position by grabbing a handful of the front of his sweater, their faces merely an inch or so apart, “Do you think you can handle it?”


	38. Chapter 35: Life Begins at the End of Your Comfort Zone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ngl I love this chapter. It all begins now. Hope you guys enjoy and I will tag accordingly as the chapters go up henceforth. 
> 
> Any errors, seriously, apologies. I got an app to help me with my grammar and errors because I suuuck but the app was more than fucking useless, sticking in more errors where there wasn't any or just doing them completely wrong. Big thank you to my Co writer for fixing the fuck up the app caused. If there is still any errors, I am so sorry. I'm never using Grammarly again. Stupid fucking app......

Franks instincts, especially with how close he was to Gerard, was to lean forward and kiss him. He still had a hold on the front of his sweater, practically holding Frank up, his face so close that Frank could feel his breath on his lips. The calm inhale and exhale while Gerard kept his eyes trained on Frank, looking him over quickly, the hunger in his eyes had Frank internally caving. The want to please his Master along with his need to be had by him overrode every other cognitive thought that he could have had at this point in time. The only thing Frank could even process in his mind was that Gerard was close to him, holding back, probably testing the water to see if he would make the first move. God how he wanted to, but he also remembered what had happened the night before. How Gerard had stopped him when he kissed him in his closet, telling him off because Frank hadn’t asked permission to do it. The smack to his ass had been a surprise too and all in all, remembering that had Frank hesitating, edging a little closer to Gerard, actually testing the water before he stopped himself. Gerard tilted his head back, knowing exactly what Frank was about to do, but he remembered. Frank held back, not feeling bold enough to actually kiss him without asking first this time.

Such a small gap between them, but it felt like miles. So far away. Frank breathed out a please, watching Gerard, hoping that his manners would pay off. Gerard, however, raised an eyebrow at the one syllable that had him, “I’m curious as to what you are saying please for…” He spoke low, his eyes watching Frank, scanning over his face in a moment of silence, “It wasn’t very clear, boy.”   
  
It should have been obvious, especially with the way Frank had leant in a little closer, but Gerard was playing dumb. Or at least that was what he thought he was doing. Frank swallowed, drawing in a shaky breath when Gerard continued to watch him, waiting patiently because even Frank knew that he stumbled a little in his head. Words failed Frank for a second. Having his Master so close to him but still not close enough, his mouth dried. Franks heart hammered in his chest, already anticipating what Gerard was going to do to him, and for how long. If Gerard really was going to fucking do him for as long as it had taken him to do his contract then Frank couldn’t deny how his insides were twisting and knotting up. That was if his body could even cope with that. Five hours of working on his contract had been a long time. The idea of going for that long, especially when the longest session he had had with Ryan before had been a little over half an hour, was daunting yet the best thing that he could have asked for Gerard to do to him. Again, that was if he had the endurance for it.   
  
“Why did you say please?” Gerard asked curiously, his questioning already having an effect on Frank which he didn’t think was possible, “Manner’s may maketh man, but manners become fruitless when not used properly.”   
  
His eloquence made Franks insides flutter. The way Gerard looked down at him like a wolf watching, waiting for his prey to succumb to his need, Frank swore that he couldn’t think. He couldn’t focus yet all of his focus was trained on his Master. Finally, words left him, smaller than intended. His permission slipping off his tongue to break the barrier between them.    
  
“Good boy.” Gerard praised him. Frank hadn’t just given into his carnal need to have him. He had behaved and as much as that behaving had killed Frank on the inside, waiting for what felt like an eternity, even though it had probably been less than a minute, he felt elated over the fact that Gerard got even closer to him, his grip tightening even more on the sweater which Frank was still wearing. Anticipating so much, Frank felt like he was teetering on an edge. So near yet so far. Gerard curled a small smile at him, looking at him once more, eyes focussing on his parted lips before the millimetres that had felt like a mile dissolved into nothing. The edge slipped away from Franks’ feet when the pressure of Gerard kissing him took over.

Frank warmed instantaneously when Gerard kissed him, soft lips ruling him, taking charge. The slightest of whimpers echoed in Franks’ throat when he felt tongue tracing his lips. Instinctively he opened up, holding onto Gerard, clinging onto his upper arms while he rolled his tongue against Gerard’s. Frank had always been the kind of guy who enjoyed the build-up before sex, the kissing which had the heat in his stomach sinking down low, his mind beginning to white out and lose grip just because there was someone attached to his lips. Gerard was attached to him, making Frank drag in a shaky breath through his nose, making a muffled ah leave him a little unexpectedly when Gerard sucked on his bottom lip, pulling away far too quickly for Franks liking.

Gerard tugged at the bottom of Franks sweater, deciding that he was in too many layers of clothes for his liking. Frank lifted his arms, letting Gerard undress him. The sweater and t-shirt were discarded onto the floor before Gerard was back on Frank, pushing him down on the bed, getting right between his legs.

Spit slick lips were back on Frank. He kissed back, feeling himself getting more and more wound up as Gerard rolled his hips, the instant pressure on Frank's growing erection, the thick length of Gerard rubbing against him through his boxers had Frank panting into the kiss. Beyond ready for this to happen. Going through the contract had left Frank turned on. He hadn’t been able to help himself, what with everything that he had had to figure out if he was into or not. Definitely into Gerard, definitely into whatever he wanted to do to him. Frank was thrumming, trying to pull Gerard even closer to him, hooking a leg around Gerard, holding him as close as possible.

“Patience is a virtue my boy,” Gerard reminded Frank once he broke the kiss, looking down at the younger man beneath him. Frank felt light-headed already, practically buzzing with anticipation of what was to come. He bit his lip, stifling a groan when Gerard rocked his hips down against him again, slowly, torturing him as pleasure bubbled away inside of him, “If you want to go for as long as your contract took then you need to pace yourself.”

“Yes, sir,” Frank responded without even thinking about saying it. Replying like this had become second nature to him. Acknowledging what Gerard had told him, Frank had no idea how he was even going to be able to pace himself. The mere action of Gerard rubbing against him made it feel like his insides were burning hot. Not to the point that Frank swore he could have come from this alone, but close to the point that if his Master didn’t stop and move this all on, then there wasn’t going to be much of an opportunity for them to have sex.

Gerard caught onto that though. The way Frank was pawing at him, one leg still wrapped around him, it was obvious that Frank was getting a little too carried away with this already. He had to slow down. Savour the moment. Gerard already had in his head what he wanted to do to Frank, but that meant trying to calm down the already coiled spring of a boy that was underneath him, his leg releasing Gerard when he knelt up on the bed, hands trailing up Franks thighs, skimming over the fabric of his boxers.

Franks hips instinctively lifted when Gerard got his fingers looped into the elastic. Finally feeling like this was moving on, Frank let his head fall back against the bed, swallowing, trying to breathe as evenly as possible, waiting to find out what Gerard was going to do to him. His hands fisted into the bedding beneath him, dying for something to happen, anything.

“Onto your hands and knees, boy,” Gerard instructed. Franks mind stuttered at the order. Hearing the command, it took him a moment to register what he had been told to do. Eventually, his mind caught up with his body, both practically singing at the fact that it was going to happen like this. Last time he had been on his hands and knees, he had only been able to imagine what it would be like with Gerard. The time before, he hadn’t even been on the receiving end. More thankful that his birthday had eventually come around and Ryan had drunk enough for them to mix up positions. This though, Frank scrambled on the bed, doing as he was told, trying to control himself at the same time because he was living the dream right now. Or at least he was living the sordid daydream that he had had while he knelt atop the vanity in his old motel room.

This was going to be so much better than his dildo, Frank was so sure of it because this wasn’t fucking himself on a sex toy out of sheer desperation. This was a whole person behind him. Gerard behind him, stroking a hand over his exposed ass, making him whimper at the new contact which felt sublime.

Frank found himself pushing back against Gerard's hand, panting, unable to stop himself when Gerard kneading and squeezed on his behind. Frank didn’t realise how much he needed this until the very moment when he felt a digit trace over his hole. The lightest of touch had Frank dragging air into his lungs, waiting for Gerard to prep him. He felt like he was on heat, keening over the fact that Gerard was groping at his ass, spreading him open, massaging while he heard a satisfied groan leave his Master.

“You have such a phenomenal ass,” Gerard complimented him. Frank blushed, dipping his head low while he continued to feel his Master feeling and squeezing at his behind, “There are so many things that I am inclined to do it...I just don’t know what to choose.”

A shiver ran down Franks’ spine then. Gerard's words had a wonderful effect on him that made him curl his toes and fist the bedding tighter. He knew what he wanted Gerard to do to him. Fuck him like he had imagined that he would, but only better. But Gerard removed his hands from Franks ass, choosing to lean over him, his erection pressing against Frank, “Do you remember your safeword?”   
  
Frank frowned, not quite clocking onto why Gerard was asking him that. Lifting his head up, Frank felt like his answer was simple. Of course, he remembered. How could he forget something that they had only decided on very early on, “Yeah? Of course.”

“Do you care to remind me of what it is?” Gerard asked, his hand skimming along Franks’ stomach while he waited for him to answer. Franks mind flickered, trying to fire just so he could respond to the question.

“P- Pineapples,” Frank told him, wondering why in the world Gerard was asking him this. Was he going to need it? Their contract was finished and now Gerard had this wonderfully colourful insight into what may or may not have made Frank tick a little more sordidly than he was used to. His stomach twisted at the idea, especially after what Gerard had said to him moments before. Did he have something set in his mind? The contract was done. Maybe Gerard had gone and picked on one thing from the list, already deciding to test Frank to see if he had been right with his trusty green marker. The idea of that alone made him feel like his stomach had dropped down to his feet, unable to see Gerard, unable to know exactly what he had planned.

And then he felt a hand back on his left ass cheek, caressing. Gerard really was winding him up, having him rock back against his hand. Frank bit down on his lip, breathing as evenly as possible through his nose while his eyes closed. He was mere centimetres away from where Frank wanted him, unable to push him towards it in case he got told off for being too needy. But Frank was needy, that was the thing. His heart was threatening to beat out of his chest in anticipation, needing Gerard buried in him, not teasing him like he was doing right now.

What Frank wasn’t expecting though was that when Gerard removed his hand from where it had been, it came swiftly back into contact with the same cheek, making Frank's body lurch forward. Eyes opening wide, he yelped. The sound of hand slapping against his ass rang in his ears. For a moment only shock took over him. Gerard had just smacked his ass, quite hard as well. That was all Frank could focus on until he felt prickling heat rise from where Gerard's hand had come down on him.

In an instant, Frank couldn’t help how his safeword rested quite comfortably on his tongue. It wasn’t like he was going to blurt it out just because Gerard had surprised him with the spank. It was just that he hadn’t expected it. He hadn’t expected the pain that was currently radiating from the now probably pink mark that was across his cheek. Gerard's fingers ran across his ass stroking at the tender spot which had Frank melting a little. As much as it had stung, it felt good. The warm burn that was residing in his skin, it felt much more sensitive when the area was touched. Frank couldn’t help how he whimpered, pushing his safeword back and out of the way as he wondered if Gerard was going to do it again. Hoping that he was going to do it again.

Which he did. Frank anticipated it this time though when Gerard moved his hand back before slapping the pink print on his ass. He waited with baited breath when the seconds passed before his body lurched forward again. His legs shook. The shock of the moment was subsiding, unlike the heat that was growing on his ass, radiating and spreading. Gerard had struck him harder. Not much harder, but it was enough to have Frank panting, feeling the sting going straight to his already aching cock.

“Fuck,” Frank choked out when Gerard cracked his ass again, twice in quick succession, one to the left and the second taking Frank more by surprise when he switched sides. He hissed, resting his forehead against the soft bedding beneath him. His hands rested on the back of his head, fingers knotting into his hair, ass glowing hot from the impacts. There was nothing for a moment. Frank could feel the bed moving, Gerard shifting behind him. He dared to look over his shoulder, see what his Master was doing, but he wasn’t given the opportunity to. One more swift slap came across his right cheek. Frank stifled a cry, his bottom lip pinched right between his teeth. His eyes screwed shut, thighs shaking, his whole body screamed out from the intensity of the burning pain, but at the same time, he was relishing in the fact that he was enjoying it.

Once he had overcome the need to safeword because it had been a shock to have Gerard strike him like that, Frank couldn’t help what effect it was having on him. His mind had sparked out from the first slap, letting the stinging pleasure fizz through his system, making him feel drunk off the kick that it was giving him. The masochist in him had been awoken. The prickling heat did numbers on Frank, dick twitching when Gerard stroked his hand over the sore marks on his ass. Sensitive and sore, Frank forced in a breath, finally peeling his eyes open, not focussing on the out of focus patterns that were in front of his eyes on the bedding. More focussing on the way he was yearning for more, the warmth of the sting making him shift his hips, pushing his ass back against Gerard's hand.

“Good boy,” Gerard purred, his hand cupping and kneading, his free hand ghosting up Franks’ thigh, fingers tracing a line until he reached the top of his leg, thumb pressing against Franks hole, three things massaging against his perineum, “You liked that didn't you?”

Frank was nodding before he even registered that he was. His mind raced, only attaching itself to where Gerard was touching him, pleasure mixing in with the pain that was already making him keen. He pushed back, hoping for Gerard to slide his thumb into him, desperate to finally be connected to him. Gerard, however, moved away, making Frank feel like he was about to collapse onto the bed. His mind screamed out in frustration, but Gerard wasn't best pleased with the lack of response from him.

“I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that, boy,” Gerard's voice darkened. Franks stomach clenched at the tone, “You liked that didn't you?”

"Yes, sir.” Frank finally answered, feeling like he was coming apart at the seams already.

“Good boy.” Gerard hummed, letting Frank know what he was doing, his ears pricking at the snap of a cap behind him. Now. Frank needed Gerard in him now. He could only assume that Gerard was preparing, squirting lube onto his fingers. The thought alone had Frank clenching already, anticipating, practically thrumming on the bed while he waited to feel what he was dying for.

It came almost instantly. The cold feel of slick fingers pressed at his hole, teasing, making Frank shudder out a near embarrassingly high pitched moan. Frank dared to push back onto the digit that was circling his hole, but Gerard had his other hand gripping his throbbing ass, stilling him. Not letting Frank have his way. Not just yet. The boy had to learn patience. Frank knew that he lacked patience. How could he wait when all he wanted was making him feel like he was going to burst. His once fantasy was about to become a reality and Gerard wasn't letting him rush. Frank had to learn and he would, no matter what.

Franks breathing faltered when he finally felt a finger sink into him a little quicker than he expected. The ache of the stretch rung out. Breathing through his nose, Frank acclimatised to it as best he could, feeling the slow slide of Gerard's slender finger in him. Frank heard Gerard curse quietly behind him, practically pulling out before he slid the digit back in. Quicker this time, fucking Frank for a moment. Frank panted, needing more, finally getting more when a second finger was pushed in. He hissed at the dull ache of the stretch. Gerard scissoring him and curling his fingers felt like magic. Frank had only ever imagined that this would feel like, being in this position for his Master. Now it was real and Frank felt like his skin was prickling. Far too hot, burning up perfectly when Gerard roughly pushed his fingers in, his other hand gripping Franks ass tightly. The combination of being spanked and now being fingered, Frank couldn't think straight, barely able to string anything together that would make sense.

Frank blissed out when three fingers were in him. Knocked dumb, he held onto the bedding as tight as he could, insides teetering on the brink of ecstasy. He had no idea how he was going to last as long as he had hoped he would. There was no way he was going to go for as long as he had done the contract for. Frank felt like he was far too close already, his moans breaking apart desperately even though he was trying his best to hold it together. Hold off because any moment now it wasn't going to be fingers in him. Gerard was going to push into him and he wanted to hold off. Frank craved that, needed it more than anything else right now. Felt felt full, but being full of Gerard when he was slamming into him, that was all Frank could focus on. After what he had done before, he needed this more than anything. Needed Gerard to hold him and use him and make him feel like he was on some sort of sordid cloud nine.

Frank whined when Gerard slipped his fingers out, missing the feeling of being not quite full enough. It had been enough, but when Gerard shifted on the bed behind him, Frank fought back the need to encourage Gerard to just push into him. Gerard's hand still held onto his ass, stilling him, “You need to slow down boy. Slow and steady wins the race.”

Now was not the time to be even thinking about what Gerard had just said to him. Yes, Frank knew that he needed to pace himself, but he couldn't consider doing that just yet when he felt the nudge of Gerard against his hole. Frank tried to push back, but the grip on his grew tighter. The iron hold on his already warm ass ached more. Combined with the smear of Gerard's cock against his hole, Frank was babbling. Unravelling over the desperate need to be fucked.

Then the overwhelming feeling of being filled started to take over when Gerard pushed in. Franks’ mouth hung open. The air left his lungs. Finally, his fleeting fantasy from the one night of sheer desperation became reality. Brightening and materialising in the moment that Gerard sunk into him. This was better than Frank had ever imagined. Better than his imagination as Gerard took hold of his waist, holding him tight, pulling Frank onto him in one slow and steady movement.

“So tight,” Gerard grunted, pushing into the hilt. Frank tried to hold it together in an instant when he was full of his Master, keening at the blissful combination of pain and pleasure that was resonating in him. The heat of his sore ass mixing all together with the indescribable feeling of being so damn full. He could just imagine how Gerard looked right now behind him. Looking down at his Frank, his boy, his newly appointed sub, it was probably having such an effect on him. A sheen of sweat was probably starting to build up on his brow. His eyes full of hunger. He paused for a second. Frank adjusted to how thick Gerard was in him before the feeling was nearly gone. Gerard had practically pulled out before snapping his hips back. Frank yelped out a moan, hands gripping the bedding so tight while his eyes closed, only focussing on where Gerard was in him. On him. One hand roamed, sliding up the small of his back, following the line up his spine which instantly sent a shiver down it. So much better than Frank had ever envisaged. He shifted on the bed, trying to stop his arms and legs from giving out on him. Gerard's hand slid back down to his waist, gripping skin before he pushed Frank forward a little, only to pull him back onto his cock, setting up a slow rhythm for Frank to get used to.

“Fuck,” Gerard cursed out, voice already sounding sonorous, “Look so good, boy. It’s like you were made to take me…”

Frank swore he was going to cave if Gerard kept saying things like that. He had been stilled and the way Gerard was snapping his hips against him, it had the fire in the pit of Frank's stomach already burning hot. So hot because god, this felt more than good. Gerard using him like this, Frank felt like he was riding the biggest high that he had ever experienced during sex. Gerard shoving into him, make Frank moan uncontrollably every time he heard the slap of skin against skin. Gerard snapping forward against his warm and sore ass. He was going to lose it far too soon if Gerard kept this up. Frank really didn’t want to come so soon. This had to last. There was no way he was going to ruin the moment just because he couldn’t control himself when his Master fucked him.

“Oh god,” Frank moaned out, voice shot as he rested his cheek on the bed. Screwing his eyes shut, Frank could already feel the burning hot sensation low in his gut starting to emanate outwards. His thighs shook far too soon. This couldn’t be happening just yet. But he couldn’t control it. How could he stop himself when Gerard was picking up speed again, one hand reaching up to knot in the back of Frank’s hair. He tugged, pulling Frank back up. He could barely keep a grip on the bedding, eyes screwing shut. So close to losing it far too soon. Frank swallowed down a lungful of air between moans and profanities, hoping and praying to whatever god that was up there, whoever had got him into this position in his life, was going to somehow help him. Stop him from ashamedly blow his load far too soon when Gerard had agreed to his promise, “Sir- oh fuck- god…”

And then everything fell quiet quickly. Frank gasped when Gerard slowed right down, coming to a stop with his cock still buried deep in him. The high that Frank had been climbing began to sink back down. He panted, skin feeling suddenly too hot and tight while his whole body felt like it was vibrating. Frank had been there, so there, moments away from probably the best orgasm ever, but Gerard had stilled. He knew exactly what was going on with Frank. He had felt him clenching around him. Not lasting at all, Gerard stopped. Frank tried to catch his breath back, opening his eyes to stare at a random spot on the wall, even though he was so sure he could see spots in his vision, all fuzzy and blurry from how tightly he had shut his eyes.

“We need to work on your endurance,” Gerard commented, reaching under Frank to run his hand down his chest, across his stomach, lower. Frank bit his lip, expecting Gerard to go even lower and touch him, relieve some of the ache in his cock. But he didn’t. Barely skimming the area, Gerard removed his hand, running it through his hair to push it out of the way. Frank visibly tensed up at the lack of contact, getting more wound up while his impending orgasm sunk back down low. This was unfair. He wanted to chase it and feel it and fucking lose it with Gerard in him, but Gerard was right. His stamina was really something that needed to improve, “Can’t have you coming too soon.”

The slow pace Gerard began with started up again. Going back to the beginning, Frank wondered if Gerard was going to keep doing this every time he got too close too quickly. For someone who had been asked to be fucked for hours, there was no way in hell he was even going to last an hour, barely half an hour if Gerard kept up with what he was doing to Frank. Frank tried his best to hold off, relaxing as best he could, but it was no good when Gerard picked up the pace again. There was no hope for Frank, he was so sure of it, even when he tried to think of something that would put him off. He just couldn’t stop himself when Gerard was fucking him faster. God Frank wanted it harder, wanted Gerard to pound into him, make him come so hard that he would probably collapse on the bed and wonder how the fuck he had gone without like this for so long before.

But of course, Gerard picked up on how Frank was reacting. The familiar clench along with how his voice was beyond shot, moans and curses all slewing into one. Slowing rapidly, Gerard dug his nails into Frank’s waist, holding him still, stopping Frank from shoving back against him just to chase what was practically within reach.

“Slow, down,” Gerard warned. The way he sounded went straight to Frank's dick. Throbbing now, Frank felt like he was going to cry if Gerard kept stopping, leaving him teetering on the edge before pulling him right back. Frank complained, his whole body complained as Gerard pulled out. Actually pulled out and left him whining, desperate to be so full again, “If you rush ahead so frantically then you are only going to end up looking like a desirous slut.”

The insult hit Franks’ ears. His insides lurched at the one word he had never been called before. The single syllable that rolled off Gerard's tongue like liquid. He wanted to feel disgusted that Gerard had chosen to call him that, but deep down he loved it. Loved the humiliation that came from it. The one degrading word that made Frank whimper, sounding just as desperate as Gerard had labelled him

“I can’t-”

“You’re going to have to, boy,” Gerard told him outright, “This is what you wanted.”

It was what Frank had wanted, but right now the hours could have been reduced to minutes thanks to how he felt. In need of his release. Dying to come. Dying to feel Gerard in him, while he tipped and lost all sense of everything when his orgasm ripped through his whole body

“But I can’t-”

“You have to.” Gerard persisted. Franks entire being crumpled under the weight of Gerard's words. As much as he wanted this to happen right now, there was no way Gerard was just going to give into his pleas. He was standing his ground. He was commanding and being who he was. Frank should have known this, but he still hoped that his Master would give in and let him have what he so desperately wanted.

Gerard pushed back in a little too quickly than Frank could cope with. Being on such a tight string already, the thrust had him convulsing already. Gerard didn’t start off slow for him this time. He went right back into the rhythm that he had built up. Pushing his hips against Frank harder, Gerard's fingers dug into Franks’ hips harder. Frank could just picture the bruises that would probably sit there once they were done. The reminder that Gerard had had him, his Master had had his way with him. Frank felt like he was splintering already. His insides knotted up so tight, only able to undo themselves when he finally came. But coming wasn’t something that he was trying to focus on.

Frank tried to zone out, tried to hold off. It was nye on impossible to do when all he could hear was Gerard’s laboured breaths, skin slapping against skin repeatedly, his Master's cock brushing against his prostate over and over. It was too much. Far too much for Frank to handle. As much as he wanted to go on for hours, hours weren’t an option for him when the swell of burning pleasure started to build up speed inside of him. Pre-come leaking onto the bedding beneath him, Frank was so past being there. Knuckles white against the bedding, he begged. His words came out pleading, wanting, needing, but Gerard wasn’t having it.

He stopped yet again. Frank practically sobbed on the bed, his arms giving out while his whole body shook as his oh so close orgasm started to subside in him. He wanted to scream, being denied the one thing that he was going crazy over getting. Gerard pulled out once more, the palm of his hand coming down hard against Franks ass, making him cry out in pain and sheer desperation

Gerard grabbed a handful of Frank’s hair, pulling him up so his back was flush with his chest. Lips right against his ear. Gerard's hot breath was in Frank’s ear. The words he spoke laced with annoyance, “You really can’t control yourself, can you boy?”

“I can’t- I can’t-” Frank cried out, eyes closing, praying to whoever was up there just to let him have this so damn much, “God, I really wanna fucking come.”

“Do you? You think you deserve to after I have to keep stopping because you lack tolerance?” Gerard questioned, his grip tightening in Frank’s hair. His other hand slid up Frank's chest, up to his neck, wrapping around, not applying pressure, but warning. Frank tensed up, swallowing, feeling light-headed, his whole body reeling from the magnitude of everything that was piling over his senses all at once.

“Fuck, please-” Frank begged, only to be cut off by Gerard and the gentle squeeze on his neck which made him go silent.

“Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that. Plus you seemed to forget who you are talking to right now.” Gerard reminded him vehemently, “I am your Master. I could keep doing this for hours. Make you learn to control yourself. Or, depending on how you respond to me, how nicely you ask...I could let you come, boy. Not hold back when you are right there.”

“Oh god… Please sir,” Frank implored again, falling back down onto his hands and knees when Gerard let go of him, removed his hand from around his neck which, even though he hadn’t applied any pressure, Frank still sucked in air, frantic over what he craved so much, “Please... I need to-”

Gerard landed one more blow to Franks ass, making tears well in his screwed shut eyes, searing pain radiating while the noise that left him sounded no longer coherent, “You really need to learn how to ask properly. Were you not taught any manners growing up, boy?”

Frank shook. His arms threatened to crumple under him. He was in pain, but it felt far too good to call the one word that he knew would put an end to it all. He didn’t want this to end though. So close to the finish line. All he had to do was just ask. It seemed like such a simple feat to accomplish. It was just getting out the right words. Using the wrong ones would probably result in another clap across his burning ass. He paused for a second, composing, choosing words a lot more carefully for moment before he opened his mouth, trying to bridge the gap from his brain to his mouth just so he could speak, “Sorry, sir,” He apologised instantly, “But...please...god, please can I come? I need to...sir, please.”

Gerard smiled, hand stroking the glow of red on Franks pale ass, listening to him whine at the contact, “I knew there were manners in you somewhere. Good boy.”

Gerard didn’t let up then. In an instant he was pushing back into Frank, not letting up as he pulled and pushed the boy on his cock. Frank was a mess of slurred noises. Sweat prickled on his brow, his hair clinging to his damp forehead while he shook. Being pushed and pushed to the brink before being refused the chase that he so desperately craved, he was already there. Back to the brink which finally seemed reachable. What he would do to be able to reach under and get a hand around his cock, pushing himself to right where he wanted to be.

However, he felt like if he did try to, he would surely collapse onto the bed. Feeling weak at the knees already, Gerard slammed into him, close himself. The clench around him was tipping him closer and closer, but he knew that he would last beyond Frank. The boy was losing it already. Body convulsing, it was there. Frank swore he could reach and touch it, get a firm grasp around it and finally ride it out. So close. So damn close. He struggled to breath when the intense and tight knot in the pit of his stomach started to unravel. Losing control, Frank tensed, his whole body nearly going into shock when the force of his orgasm ripped through him, feeling like he was being broken apart. Streaking come across the bedding, Frank's mind whited out as he cried out, not caring about how he sounded as Gerard continued to thrust into him, getting there himself. Frank heard ‘good boy’ being spoken, but he was far beyond processing any form of words right now as he rode out what was most definitely the most intense orgasm of his life.

Much better than what he had done in his old motel room. So much better than right now was in a completely different league to when he had had no choice but to fuck himself. Franks arms finally gave out, his cheek hitting the bed while he struggled to breathe, still whining because Gerard was still going. Still fucking him. Frank was far too sensitive for this to continue, but at the same time, he relished in how his body continued to fire. Nerves shot, overworked, sending ripples of far too intense pleasure sparking through his system like hot pins and needles.

A few hard thrusts later, Gerard was stilling in him, gripping Frank's hips, pulling him flush, grunting and cursing when his own orgasm hit. Frank wished that he could see his Master come because of him, but he was far too exhausted to even consider lifting himself up and turning to look over his shoulder. Imagining the look on Gerard's face was enough for Frank right now while he felt the pulse of Gerard in him, making him squirm.

“Fuck,” Gerard cursed, blinking, pushing hair out of his eyes before slowly and carefully pulling out of Frank. He whined, missing the feeling of his Master in him before finally, Frank collapsed. His legs couldn’t take it anymore and he lay flat on the bed, eyes refusing to open while he breathed through the post orgasm tingles that were still rife in his body.

Gerard looked down at Frank, reaching a hand out to touch him tenderly. Frank flinched, hissing then when he felt fingers grace the overly hot skin on his behind.

“Are you okay?” Gerard asked instantly, only to see Frank nodding. A smile spread across his face before he let out a small giggle, “Are you sure?”

Frank was more than good. Sure, he was hurting. His ass felt like it was on fire, but it had actually been something that he had enjoyed. More than he thought he would. He felt proud of himself for not having to use his safeword. Gerard was probably proud of him for not doing that too. He had gotten over the initial shock, even if he was still in some form of shock right now as he lay out like a starfish on the bed, catching his breath back, “Honestly, I’m good.”

Gerard muttered out a ‘one second’ before Frank felt the bed behind him shift. Without even opening his eyes, Frank listened out to see if he could figure out what Gerard was doing. He could hear the sound of a drawer being opened, then shut, then Gerard was back on the bed. Beside him this time, sitting on the bed.

“It wasn’t the five hours that you had hoped for,” Gerard said matter of factly.

“How long?” Frank asked, cracking one eye open to see that Gerard had thrown his lilac t-shirt back on, sitting sideways on the bed, one leg resting on top of the bedding.

“Just under an hour,” Gerard answered. Frank grinned at that, feeling so fucking proud of the fact that, okay, maybe Gerard had had to stop him three times from blowing his load too soon, but at least he had made it longer than any other time he had had sex before, “You did well, boy. I half expected you to safe word.”

“I’m full of surprises.” Frank chuckled, closing his eye again, rubbing his sweaty face against the bedding.

“That you really are,” Gerard mimicked the chuckle. Frank tried to shift on the bed, but his throbbing ass refused to let him move, pain spiking when he shifted, making him hiss and screw his eyes shut, “Lie still, okay?”

“Don’t think I’m going anywhere for a while- ah!” Frank cried when he felt Gerard's hand on his ass, rubbing something cold yet stinging on his hot skin. Frank winced, feeling the sting in his skin intensify as he resisted the urge to get away from whatever Gerard was doing to him.

“Shh, it’s okay. I’m putting aloe vera on you,” Gerard calmed him, looking over Frank who was trying to breathe evenly through his nose, “I know it stings a little now, but it will help, trust me.”

“Why?” Frank asked, confused, feeling like he was forgetting something due to the shock of what had been done to him and now with what Gerard was doing to him.

“This is aftercare, Frank.” Gerard told him, “This is the time after the scene where you recover. I make sure you are okay both physically and mentally. I see to your needs. Certain roles and acts can be both psychologically and physically taxing, especially for your first time.”

“Is this why you are smearing what smells like armpit over my ass.” Frank chuckled again, smiling against the bedding now that he had gotten used to what Gerard was doing to him. If anything, it was nice, being cared for like this. He wouldn’t have labelled it as affection, but it was definitely something that Frank felt he had craved for far too long.

“Yes,” Gerard spoke, “It may not smell very nice, but at least me doing this means that you might be able to sit half comfortably soon.”

“Thanks for this then,” Frank said before lifting his head up, looking over at Gerard, watching the way he was paying attention to what he was doing, “Sir?”   
  
“Yes?” Gerard turned his head to look at the dishevelled looking boy that was his.

“Are you okay?” Frank had to ask. He had no idea why, but if Gerard was making sure he was okay then he felt the need to make sure that his Master was doing alright at the same time.

“I’m okay, thank you for asking, boy,” Gerard nodded, a smile cracking on the corner of his lips.

“You’re welcome,” Frank said before flopping his head back down onto the bed. He sighed contently, still sore, but definitely feeling a whole lot better once Gerard had finished. closing the lotion that he had been applying.

“Do you think you will be able to walk okay?” Gerard questioned, standing up to retrieve his boxers from where they had been tossed to one side earlier.

“Gimme a minute,” Frank answered, holding up a finger to Gerard, still recovering from the intensity of what they had just done, “Why, sir?”

“No reason,” Gerard said nonchalantly. Frank twisted his head on the bed, looking at Gerard, watching him pull his boxers up, “It can wait. But when you are ready, I have something to show you, boy.”   
  
“Oh yeah?” Frank showed interest now, wondering what he was going to be shown. 

“Rest, boy,” Gerard instructed him, “I’m sure what I have to show you can wait a little while longer.”


	39. Chapter 36: Never Was Anything Great Achieved Without Danger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tis is such a good chapter by my co writer I missed them finishing it due to sleeping but I finished reading it this morning and just, wow. I may have squealed a little at a certain point and I hope that you guys will enjoy this.
> 
> Any errors, apologies, but we think we got them all :)

“Um. I know I said I like being hurt and all but… Knocking my toes on the walls and furniture is not exactly getting me off.” Frank muttered as he squinted into the black blindfold Gerard had wrapped around his eyes.

 

“My apologies, boy.” Gerard chuckled as he held Frank’s hand in his and led him down the hallway from his bedroom, turning somewhat when he was stopped, stumbling on the spot when the blindfold was unfastened.

 

“I can see your room from here.” Frank squinted as he looked down the corridor, “Why did you blindfold me?”

 

“For affect.” Gerard chuckled, “I would have kept it on but you have something to do for me.”

 

“I do?” Frank frowned and Gerard looked at the closed door in front of them and Frank realised, letting out a small ‘oh’ when he stepped up and opened the door, stepping aside to let his Master into the room before he followed.

 

Gerard reached over, flicking the lights on, the mixture of dim yellow lighting and bright red lights lit up the room and Frank took in what was in front of him, sucking in a breath as his stomach flipped over, “Welcome, pup… This is all yours.”

 

“Wh…” Frank muttered, his eyes first landing on the large black wooden ‘X’ in the corner on a short pedestal and he walked up to it, ignoring everything else for the moment because he knew he would have Gerard explaining them all to him, “Sir?”

 

“This is a Saint Andrew’s Cross, boy.” Gerard muttered as he stood beside Frank, “It’s the cross you asked about. You get tied to it, remember?”

 

“Fuck.” Frank whispered and looked just behind it to a set of three mirrors that were covered in hooks, each hook hanging some sort of harnessing. Frank saw different coloured lengths of rope and black leather cuffs and metal shackles and what he figured were body harnesses.

 

A few feet beside it on the right was a bed, the frame was black metal, four poster with railings and banisters. There were pulleys on either bottom end with chains attached, ropes hooked to the chains with black leather cuffs hanging from the end. The cuffs were wrapped around the posters and pushed aside and out of the way until use was imminent. The mattress was covered in black sheets, no blankets although it was covered in black and burgundy pillows.

 

At the foot of the bed was a red studded leather footstool, ankle straps in the front of it and wrist cuffs leading to it from the bed’s end posters. Frank was astounded at it all, noticing the head of the bed had a metal beam, three round holes cut into it resembling olden-day stocks.

 

It was when Frank tilted his head that he noticed it, the bottom of the bed was not a base mattress, the bottom of the bed was part of the frame, it also had a side to it with a latch and Frank realised that it was not decorative bars all the way around… it was a cage.

 

“Cage?” Frank asked curiously, looking up at his Master as he kept his hands behind his back.

 

“That’s for you if you misbehave.” Gerard replied simply, looking at it, “That's where you sleep or if I put you in a timeout. That’s a laying timeout, you lay under there until I let you out. Indefinitely.”

 

“Oh, my God.” Frank whispered, swallowing hard. He walked up to the bed and put his hand on it, noticing a lengthways mirror on the wooden panelled wall. Then he noticed the walls around him were all large squares of wood in different colours. In any other circumstance Frank would have found the wooden walls cheap and tacky but here, in this room… It was beautiful and it added to the room’s ambience.

 

Frank looked down at the wooden-panelled floor and the red and beige persian carpet that stood in the middle, taking up most of the middle of the floor. It stood out and fitted the room at the same time, positively screaming ‘Gerard’ in every way. 

 

The next thing that caught Frank’s attention was a black metal-framed glass cabinet that took up most of the wall beside the bed, four shelves within it, each long shelf holding a different type of prop. The top shelf was filled with vibrators and dildos of various colours and shapes and sizes. Beside it were different kinds of lubes and creams to boot.

 

The second shelf held what Frank remembered to be buttplugs of different sizes and materials along with a few different rings in silicone and metal that Frank frowned at, not quite sure what they were. Frank bent down, crouching to look at the third shelf, instantly feeling his stomach jump up into his throat and power kick his Adam’s apple. The third shelf was littered neatly with mannequin heads that seemed to model different types of gags and Frank couldn’t help but thank that the heads were plain and featureless, each gag completely different from the other that he didn’t understand- all sleek and absolutely breathtaking.

 

“There are so many.” Frank whispered.

 

“There are eleven, boy.” Gerard crouched down beside his submissive, “Each one with a different purpose. Like this first one.”

 

Frank looked at the plain black gag with a black ball in the middle, the only one he recognised.

 

“Oh?”

 

“That’s a ballgag, made usually of rubber or silicone, the ball stretching your mouth as it goes behind your teeth to silence you, distort your features or to induce excessive drooling.”

 

“Wow.” Frank whispered as he looked at the next gag that Gerard had pointed to, a similar-looking one where the only difference being that there were holes in the ball of the gag, “And that one, sir?”

 

“That’s a wiffle gag. It’s simple plastic rather than silicone, and it’s a safer one usually used by beginners because it doesn’t restrict airflow.” Gerard chuckled at Frank’s widened eyes.

 

“It looks like… A lot of spit would get in there.” Frank bit his lip and Gerard nodded gravely, feigning stoic-like intensity.

 

“Afraid so. Very messy.” Gerard replied, “But very, very enticing.”

 

“N- Next one…” Frank whispered as he looked away from Gerard’s stern gaze.

 

“Next one is this. It’s called a bit.” Gerard pointed to the next gag that reminded Frank of a horse’s bridle, “It goes around your head and you bit on that lengthy bar, the leather reins go around your head.”

 

“Like a horse.” Frank pursed his lips, “Thought we didn’t like the pony play, sir?”

 

“It isn’t used exclusively in pony play.” Gerard replied with a simple chuckle, pointing at the next one, “That’s just a red piece of scarf to tie around your mouth to bite on, nothing fancy. Although the formal name for it is a cleave.”

 

“Cleave.” Frank nodded, “Gotcha, sir.”

 

“Next is this one, boy.” Gerard pointed to a very strappy looking one, “That is a harness gag. The gag goes into your mouth with these many straps that go over the face and around the neck.”

 

“And this knotted rope?” Frank asked, eyeing the black rope that was knotted in the middle with pieces that ran lengthways into loops.

 

“Also a gag. The knot goes into your mouth as a gag.” Gerard shrugged, “A makeshift gag.”

 

“It’s… Pretty somehow.” Frank’s head tilted to the side, eyeing the thickly-knotted cords, “What’s next?”

 

“The next one, as scary as it is, is a Whitehead or Jennings gag.” Frank stared at the leather straps with the metal curling sides in the middle, “The gag cranks your mouth open and stretches it sideways. It allows for unlimited mouth access and completely intelligible coherency but do little to silence the submissive.”

 

“Jesus.” Frank whispered, “What’s that next one?”

 

“A mouth corset.” Gerard nodded, “A mouth corset is a type of neck corset that covers both the neck and the mouth. Incorporating a gag into a neck corset presents a few safety issues, for example, should the wearer begin to choke, it is not easy to remove the gag quickly. For this reason, boy, most mouth corsets use a simple muzzle gag that merely covers the mouth and does not force anything into the mouth, thus minimising the risk. Despite not forcing anything into the mouth, mouth corsets are usually very effective in gagging the victim due to the fact that the chin piece prevents the wearer from opening their mouth and dislodging the gag and the lacing at the back of the corset holds the gag tightly against the mouth making a very effective seal. Also, the cheeks are compressed which makes it even harder.”

 

“My god, what’s it made of?” Frank eyed the lengthy gag.

 

“Leather or latex.” Gerard shrugged, “This specific one is latex.”

 

“It’s so pretty…” Frank whispered softly, reaching out to touch the cabinet but he stopped, realising he didn’t want to touch the pretty glass and that he didn’t have permission. He put his hand back where it was and looked at the next gag, “This one?”

 

“Mouthguard.” Gerard nodded as Frank noticed how different it was to the harness one he had seen before except that it had no guard and it had a mouth covering, the same black straps and harnessing, “This gag has two mouthguards, similar to those worn by football and hockey players. One rests on the lower teeth of the wearer while the other is against the top. Again, like sports mouthguards, these mouthguards can be softened in boiling water to fit to the mouth of the wearer. The mouthguards are attached to a front faceplate, like most plug gags, and straps from the front to the back.”

 

“Wow.” Frank leaned in, “I love it… But, that one’s the same?”

 

“It’s not.” Gerard replied, “That’s a muzzle.”

 

“But… Sir-”

 

“Look there, boy,” Gerard leaned in, “They are similar except this one doesn’t have a mouthpiece to bite on and it has less straps. This one merely covers the mouth, called an OTM, or ‘over the mouth’ gag. Only that they are usually made of leather, are fastened around the head with buckles and straps, and cover the lower part of the face.”

 

“Oh…” Frank trailed off, looking at the gag, “It’s… Wow.”

 

“This next one is called a ring gag. Very similar to the ball gag in that it goes behind the teeth but instead of a ball, it has that large metal ring to keep your mouth open… Whether you want it or not.” Gerard smirked slightly and Frank went pink as the image ran through his head.

 

“Oh- Oh my God, what the hell is that last one?” Frank whimpered as he leaned in, looking at the last gag that was similar to the ring gag except for the three prongs on each side of the ring.

 

“A spider gag.” Gerard replied, “It’s also called a second generation gag, boy. He ring has hooks on the sides so as to keep the wearer from flipping the ring horizontally in their mouth. Unlike the ring gag which can be easily flipped, a spider gag is essentially functional and non-decorative. Generally these gags have interchangeable rings so as to accommodate both the wearers’ mouth and the size of any object that might be inserted through the ring.”

 

“I- Inserted…” Frank went bright pink in the face and Gerard let out a low chuckle as he straightened up, standing beside his submissive who was still crouching despite his feet and knees starting to ache.

 

Frank turned his head and looked down at the last shelf, whimpering softly at the miscellaneous types of props. He saw different types of tape, different types of clamps and weights.

 

Frank withheld the urge to moan as he stood up and he looked at Gerard who was standing in the door to his right.

 

“Would you like to explore the other side of your playroom, boy?” Gerard gestured with a hand to the left side of the room that Frank hadn’t looked at yet, the left side of the cross. Frank crossed Gerard and walked up to the cross when he saw another similar mirrored shelf that was hanging with more crops and black paddles that were hanging neatly in order.

 

Frank stepped aside and swallowed, stepping back as he looked at the leather-studded sex swing with a low bucketed seat hanging from the ceiling with a leg harness chained to it, the thick steel chains were intimidating to Frank, making his stomach churn and his neck hair prickle. 

 

“Oh my God.” He whispered, looking over at Gerard, “Oh… My sweet God.” 

 

“Like it?”

 

“Jesus fuck…” Frank whispered as he ran a hand over the chains.

 

“The chair part can be removed, the chains are permanent. You can hang other things on there, too.” Gerard replied simply, leaning against the door.

 

“Like?”

 

“Like i can heighten those chains and hang you from them.” Gerard shrugged and Frank looked at it, whimpering, “I could hang you upside down from it, harness you up in it before I do awfully immoral and impurrient things to you, pup.”

 

“I-” Frank’s throat went dry as he stepped from the swing and looked the large black chair in the corner with ankle and wrist straps. He smiled at it and looked at the odd prop beside it with it’s black frame and red leather, “This is…?”

 

“A sawhorse, boy.” Gerard walked over and touched the top of it, the top lengthy base accompanied by two other, smaller rests, each with a thick ankle strap that angled down to the ground.

 

“Oh… This is a sawhorse.” Frank whispered, the idea of sitting on it had him aching. He bit on his bottom lip and tore his gaze from it to the last thing in the room, a red velvet lined cabinet that was mounted to the wall with a vast array of collars with in it, each velvet mount held two collars except for the bottom collar that was exceptionally large. The bottom of the display held different tags that had yet to be engraved.

 

“Why so many collars, sir?” Frank asked as Gerard walked over, smiling at the black collars.

 

“Each of the thirteen collars have a different function and time for usage, pup.” 

 

“Can- Sir, do I get to know each one.” Frank looked at his Master and at the collars.

 

“Of course, boy.” Gerard smiled, “Where do you want me to start, boy?”

 

“Bottom?” Frank offered with a shrug, looking at the thick-length collar in black with a small silver attachment and a tiny ring that Frank assumed to be for a leash or chain.

 

“That’s a posture collar.” Gerard stated simply, “A posture collar is generally made of a rigid material, like this one is made of leather, Frank. And some may also contain corset style boning and straps for purposes of Breath play. The collar is contoured to fit the shoulders and the jawline, and stops the head turning or looking up or down. This causes increased levels of bondage and may also be used to train the submissive to have better posture through conditioning.”   
  


“It looks super uncomfortable.” Frank commented with a small chuckle, “Although I think that’s the point. Right, sir?”

 

“Yes, boy.” Gerard nodded, “The one above it on the right is called a classic collar. A classic, permanent collar is a black leather strap worn snugly around the neck of the submissive, usually made of the upper most portion of the back hide of a bull. Seeing as it’s tougher leather. It will have one O-ring on the front of the collar and include a locking mechanism in the rear such as buckles, straps and hooks, padlocks and other attachments. This collar has the O-ring here, like the ring gag, boy.” 

 

“I love it.” Frank muttered, “Next is?”

 

“That’s called a modern collar.” Gerard replied as Frank eyed the collar next to the classic, swallowing at the tarnished metal with it’s locking mechanism, “Modern permanent collars are often made of lightweight metals and heavy duty locking mechanisms which is some cases cannot be easily removed, and are preferably non-conductive should the submissive wish to engage in any sort of Electrical play. Modern collars often come in Flat style like this one, generally a rigid circle. The other style would be Turian Style- anatomically contoured for ergonomic purposes, I might add. These collars are commonly associated with Gorian Traditions. Remember we spoke about Gor?”

 

“The alternate BDSM thing? From the book?” Frank asked with a frown as Gerard nodded, “I see, sir.”

 

“Above that,” Gerard pointed to the thinner chain collar that made Frank smile, “That’s a simple collar. A simple collar consists of a padlocked chain, that I haven’t added yet. Often times these collars can be cumbersome if worn for extensive periods of time and are generally not the wisest choice for heavy Scene play. I think you can see why.”

 

“Looks like it’ll chafe.” Frank muttered, eyeing the chain collar before looking at the next one.

 

“See now this isn’t a specific collar,” Gerard cleared his throat as he pointed to what looked like a leather bracelet and a dog tag beside it and the simple silver ring on the end, “Some that practice the lifestyle may not utilize collars at all as symbols of power exchange but may use tattoos, scars or brands, cuffs, anklets, belly chains, dog tags, chastity devices, wedding or slave rings, or some other symbolism, or even no physical symbol at all. Exact symbols may be as personal or impersonal as the Dominant desires. I’ve given you three options for public-wear, boy.”

 

“Oh wow…” Frank looked at them, “So, for like, work and stuff, right?”

 

“Exactly, boy.” Gerard smiled and Frank looked at the bracelet with a smile before he cringed slightly, remembering the pumpkin bracelet that Ryan had given him. He straightened up and looked away.

 

“I’ll decide later.” Frank whispered, hoping that Gerard wouldn’t notice.

 

“Are you okay?” Gerard asked and Frank withheld a sigh because of course Gerard had noticed.

 

“I’m fine, sir.” Frank nodded, “Just… Yeah, I don’t know. I’ll think on it.”

 

“Frank…?” Gerard eyed his submissive, raising an eyebrow, “What?”

 

“Not now, please, sir.” Frank shook his head, “I don’t wanna ruin this.”

 

“Alright.” Gerard straightened up courteously, “I will remember.”

 

“I know.” Frank nodded, “What’s this next collar, sir?”

 

“This next one is a play collar. A play collar is generally a wide black leather collar with soft padding or materials to cushion the interior, often with several D-rings or O-rings for easy connection to bondage points or leashes. A play collar is generally donned for the purposes of power exchange within a single scene, or traded for a collar that is less durable during heavy Scene play. And don’t worry, not just pet play, boy. Any play.” 

 

Frank looked at the red fur lined back collar with the silver studs and rings around it and he pursed his lips, “I really like that one.”

 

“I thought you might.” Gerard chuckled, “Next to that one is similar to an alternate collar, but it’s known as a day collar. A day collar is a collar that is usually some form of jewelry that can pass as an inconspicuous necklace that can be easily worn for professional or other social purposes without drawing attention to the submissive and can serve as a daily reminder of the relationship even when in places that flaunting such relationship statuses might otherwise be inappropriate. So I merely got a simple silver chain for you and any of those pendants at the bottom can be fitted onto it. Any of your or my choice.”

 

“I like that.” Frank smiled brightly, eyeing the dark silver chain, “Whoa, what’s that one above it?”

 

“That’s a protection collar.” Gerard nodded as Frank reached out to the collar in question, “A protection collar is worn by a Charge and the collar is placed upon them by a Protector. A protection collar is generally used to redirect questions of a potential play partner from the charge to the protector.”

 

“What?” Frank frowned and turned to look at Gerard, confused at the terms.

 

“It’s a collar with a D-ring, boy. And it’s used to show that you are under someone’s protection, that you are owned by someone.” 

 

“Oh,” Frank blushed, looking at the next one, “This?”

 

“This will be the collar you wear when we’re not in scene.” Gerard explained as Frank looked at the deep royal blue collar with the simple and small ring on the front of it, “It’s a consideration collar. A consideration collar is worn during a period of consideration, which generally indicates a minor level of commitment where both partners are considering each other for a potential long term commitment. The consideration collar is most often blue in color, like this one. It is, however, not a sturdy one and made more for comfort and therefore won’t be worn during play or it will break. Understand?”

 

“Yes, sir.” Frank’s eyes widened as he looked at the blue collar, feeling a pool of excitement bubble up in his stomach.

 

“Good boy.” Gerard put his hand on Frank’s head, “The next one I know you won’t like but it’s a pet play collar.”

 

“Ugh,” Frank eyed the thick black collar with it’s long metal spikes around it, “It’s so cute though.”

 

“You don’t have to pet play to wear it, Frank. That’s generally what they’re for, though.” Gerard added, “There is a leash that goes with it.”

 

“And the last two, sir?” Frank straightened up and looked at them.

 

“The one on the left is a velcro collar.” Gerard started, “A Velcro collar is a derogatorily used term for relationship collars that are put on and taken off quickly. Generally it is considered bad form to don and remove the collar quickly with exception to a consideration collar as this may show a behavior pattern consistent with entering into meaningful adult relationships without any proper preparation, insight and a generally irresponsible attitude simply for the purposes of meeting one's appetite for sex and/or relationships.”

 

“Then why do we have one?” Frank frowned as he looked at the black flimsy collar with it’s velcro fastening and nothing else to it, the plainest collar in the cabinet.

 

“We have it more as an example and to have it, to show you so that you are educated in it and that you know the difference, boy.” Gerard smiled, and that last one, you will become accustomed to as of now.”

 

“What is it, sir?” Frank asked as he looked at the last leather collar in a deep red oxblood colour with a D-ring in the middle of it.

 

“That’s a training collar, pup.” Gerard smiled, “A Training collar is put on a Pupil by a Trainer that generally consists of a leather strap and may or may not symbolize relationship specific training, though frequently it indicates the latter. It generally does not have a permanent locking mechanism but may have a snap or buckle, as the training period is considered to have a definitive start and end. During the time the collar is worn the pupil responds to the commands and instructions of the trainer, which may also be their respective Dominant, or not, depending upon the purposes of the training. Training for a permanent relationship collar usually takes approximate one year according to many traditions. As we have done in the contract, boy.”

 

“Oh yeah.” Frank smiled, “Why is this one read?”

 

“Red collars usually indicate training.” Gerard stated before he put his hands on Frank’s shoulders and stepped him aside before he opened the cabinet, sliding the glass doors open before he pulled out the red collar and unfastened the buckle, holding it in both hands before he turned on his heel to look at Frank. Gerard looked at his submissive and gestured with a finger for Frank to turn.

 

Frank realised what was happening and he let out a small whimper, turning around to face away from Gerard, his heart hammering in his chest as Gerard lowered the collar down around Frank’s neck, fastening it skillfully.

 

“Too tight?”

 

“No, sir.” Frank slid a finger into the collar and felt more than enough space that he was able to breath and swallow, “It’s- It’s perfect.”

 

“I’m glad you like them, boy. We can decide on your engravings later, I think. What do you say?”

 

“Yes, sir.” Frank nodded, smiling as he reached up again to touch the leather around his neck. 

 

“Any more questions, boy?” 

 

“Um, just one?” Frank began, biting nervously on his lip, “What’s this chair in the corner for?”

 

“It has many uses, Frank. Sit in it and I’ll show you.” Gerard gestured to the chair that Frank had passed by earlier.

 

Frank shrugged, smiling as he wandered over and sat down, fiddling with the wrist straps as Gerard walked over and nudged his way between Frank’s legs, leaning down over him with waves of erotic intimidation and pure dominance radiating off of him.

 

Frank looked up at Gerard before his gaze went elsewhere, more like the boner in his boxers that he had half been nursing with all of the sordid images that ran through his head.

 

“S- Sir?”

 

“Did I give you permission to speak, boy?” Gerard asked then and Frank’s mouth dropped open, a small breath of air leaving him in reply and he shook his head, “Exactly.”

 

“I’m sorry, sir.” Frank whispered softly, feeling the smallest bout of shame in his stomach, swallowing hard.

 

“You will be if you keep speaking out of turn. Don’t make it a habit, boy. I’m warning you.” Gerard did exactly that, his tone of warning was terrifying and made frank’s legs want to involuntarily shake.

 

He remained silent, doing exactly what he knew he should. But Gerard slid a finger under Frank’s chin and lifted his head up, their eyes locking in an intense gaze.

 

“What is it, boy?”

 

“What’s with the large wardrobe there?” Frank asked as he pointed to the massive built-in closet behind the door that he hadn’t noticed initially.

 

“Those, my little fuck toy, are all of the outfits, clothes, binders and masks for you and I.” Gerard purred as his thumb grazed over Frank’s bottom lip, said lip suddenly wobbling as the insult hit him smack in the forefront of his brain, right where the previous insult had hit. He let out a shaky breath as Gerard leaned in, kissing him chastely before he straightened up.

 

“You want me to show you something you can do with the chair?” Gerard asked in a breathy tone, “Take those boxers off, boy.”

 

Frank nodded, lifting his hips up as he tucked his hands into his underwear and tugged at them, trying to pull them off as Gerard sauntered over to the glass cabinet beside the bed. He opened it as Frank kicked his boxers aside, the former grabbing something from it before he walked over and closed the door, the almost-silent click of a locked door rang out louder than it should have.

 

Gerard held up a silicone ring in his hand and looked at Frank, who stared at it blankly, shaking his head.

 

“Good.” Gerard whispered as he reached down, wrapping a hand around Frank’s semi, sliding the black silicone down to the base. Frank frowned at it, watching with baited breath as Gerard’s hand slid over Frank’s dick, stroking him into his fullest hardness. Frank hissed out a shaky gasp as the silicone tugged at his skin, as it constricted around his dick. 

 

Frank was about to question it when his mouth dropped, his eyes widening as Gerard dropped to his knees, his mouth wrapped around the tip of Frank’s dick. Frank let out a groan, his toes curling in as Gerard took him further into his mouth with way too much skill necessary for a boy so out of experience with receiving oral.

 

“O- Oh fuck.” Frank gasped, eyes squeezing shut as his head lolled back on his shoulders, his stomach tightening and heating up as though he were sat on a furnace rather than an armchair.

 

Gerard’s hand tightened around the base, stroking ever still in a teasingly slow manner that had Frank teetering on the edge of sanity. He managed a short and startled breath as Gerard’s warm mouth sank down all the way, lips brush with the silicone before he came up with intrinsic ease, no gag whatsoever. Frank whimpered as his orgasm sped through his veins ever faster, groaning at the thought of coming so close to the first time he had done.

 

Gerard’s hand slid up the inside of Frank’s thigh, palming at his balls as the tip of his finger brushed way too softly over Frank’s asshole. He jerked in the chair, moaning low in the back of his throat, his Adam’s apple brushing against his collar as it bobbed up and down under the soft flesh of his throat.

 

His nails dug into the arms of the chair, his jittering hips wanting so badly to lift off of the seat but his body felt like concrete in water, sinking faster into sweet and pleasured ecstasy. 

 

“O- Oh, God.” Frank moaned as Gerard pulled off, rubbing his mouth over the underside of Frank’s dick, tongue flitting against the sensitive skin before he sank back down again, “Sir, please… Please I- I- Fuck- Oh.”

“I told you good boys get rewards.” Gerard replied as he pulled off, stroking firmly, thumb flitting over the tip, “And good boys do, Frank? Are you a good boy?”

 

“I- I’m a good boy.” Frank gasped, “F- Fuck. I- I’m… Yours, Master.”

 

“That’s right, pup.” Gerard crooned, “All mine.”   
  



	40. Chapter 37: Never Before Had He Felt His Mind Had Shattered Into So Many Pieces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was written in so many parts and a good chunk of the last part was hand written on a Waterloo train as I went with my friend to go and see Derek live last night. Far too much fun to write. I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Any errors, apologies, but we think we got them all :)

“Fuck,” Frank cursed out, his fingers knotting tighter in Gerard’s hair. He watched his Master bob down, taking all of him into his mouth which made Frank feel like he was going to burn up just from the sight alone. Relishing in his reward, Frank panted, breathless, trying to remember to actually breathe while he watched Gerard skilfully suck his cock. The wet heat of mouth wrapped around his cock felt unbelievable. Every now and again when Gerard would flick his tongue over the head, it felt beyond phenomenal. Frank's free hand gripped the chair arm tightly, nails against the material, holding on, stabilizing himself mentally and physically as Gerard continued to blow him.

  
Amazement resided in the back of Frank's mind because Gerard had instigated the reward. He had clearly wanted to do it and this was still something that was so new to Frank. Someone wanting to be with him multiple times regularly. Someone actually wanting to go down on him and give him oral which they enjoyed doing. Gerard was clearly enjoying it, Frank could tell by the way he hummed and the vibrations hit his cock, sending shockwaves through Frank's body. It was the best thing ever because of Gerard and Gerard’s mouth and that moment every now and again when he wrapped his hand around the base, pumping at the same time as sucking on the head. This was definitely the best blow job ever. Hands down. No reluctant blow job in the past would ever surpass this.   
  
Frank stuttered and tensed when he felt tongue against his piercing, rolling and flicking at it, playing with it which made Frank mewl. His insides sparked away, hot and steady, simmering away when he looked down, rolling his tongue along his bottom lip, wanting to watch his Master at work.   
  
His Master who was already looking up at him. A shiver ran down Frank's spine, reaching his toes and making his skin prickle at the sight of those eyes looking right at him. The effect was tenfold now, so much more intense as wet swollen lips wrapped around the head of Frank's cock. Gerard's hand still stroked up and down his length, making Frank keen at the sight and the sensation, unable to take his eyes off what was happening to him.   
  
The sight of his cock disappearing into Gerard’s mouth. The wet slick of spit on his skin, not enough to be sloppy, but enough to make perfect friction with the grip that Gerard had on him. Frank swore that he could watch this all day. Get off on it just because he was watching Gerard, focussing on him, watching how he was paying attention and being attentive and was enjoying and was just generally fucking amazing at sucking him off. Frank really wanted to get off, coming in Gerard’s mouth. The thought along made Frank groan, head falling against the back of the chair he was sat in, imagining Gerard just after he had come. Frank would have been spaced out, but needing to kiss him. Taste himself on Gerard’s tongue, savouring the moment before he would want to repay his Master for the amazing oral that he had just given him.   
  
Something like this, thinking like this, would have had Frank unravelling fast. With the fact that he had already come once today, he honestly didn’t think that he would last at all. The thing was though, Frank could feel it sitting in him. He could feel it building up, but then it reached a point, going no further. Climbing and climbing until it hit a block. The blow job felt good, more than good, but the pleasure in him was idling, ticking over, not going anywhere just yet. He didn’t understand, yet he also didn’t want to consider understanding right now when Gerard squeezed, making Frank whine when he felt tongue rolling over his slit.   
  
Frank wanted to come, that he knew for definite, but it just wasn’t coming. He could feel frustration starting to build up in him because he was getting there but not going any further. Taking hold of Gerard’s hair with both of his hands, Frank couldn’t control himself when he attempted to push his hips up, pushing his cock further into Gerard’s mouth, trying to get a hold of what was still out of reach for him. The desperation was teeming in him again, feeling over sensitive and in need of release. The ache wasn’t being relieved though and Frank pretty much assumed that Gerard was revelling in the fact that he was doing this to him.   
  
Frank tried to push up with his hips, but Gerard wasn’t having it. He stopped him, hands coming to rest on Frank's thighs, nails digging into skin, making Frank hiss at the pain his Master was inflicting on him while he looked up at him, admonition in his eyes, making Frank shrink back in the chair. Trying to take control was definitely something that Frank shouldn’t have done, no matter how much he needed to. He just couldn’t help himself. Couldn’t stop himself when all he wanted to do was chase the orgasm he desperately wanted. All he wanted was to come. God knows why he couldn’t, but that made him need it more, even if it meant doing something that he could easily have gotten in trouble over.

 

Which he knew he was. The way Gerard had looked at him with his nails digging into the skin on his thighs, holding him still, Frank knew. He just hoped that Gerard would let that slide because of the fact that this was a first for him. The first blow job he had been given since the contract had been finished. It was nothing more than a slight slip up. That was all. Nothing more, nothing less. Frank knew not to do it now and he stopped, remaining still in the chair, hands still holding onto the chair arms tightly.

 

But Frank felt like he was paying for his mistake when Gerard pulled off, sitting back on his feet before he wiped spit away from his mouth with the back of his hand. Frank groaned, trying to remain comfortable in the chair even though his body was screaming out for Gerard to not do what he had just done. What he was not doing now. Frank missed the feeling of Gerard on him, needing him back where he had been.   
  
“Wh-” Frank tried to form a question, wanting to know why Gerard had stopped, but the words weren’t coming out as easily as he expected them to. Being still hard and aching with the ring sitting around the base of his cock, Frank couldn’t even think properly. His brain had pretty much given up on how to work properly because all that mattered was getting the one thing that Frank needed so badly now. All other thought processes had been diverted and Frank just panted, words failing, feeling like he was internally on fire as Gerard watched him intently.   
  
No words, Frank couldn’t get a single one out of him. Complete focus on speech had gone when he swallowed back, feeling Gerard’s eyes on him, looking at him, letting the hazel gaze melt his insides like warm ice cream. Frank had really wanted to ask Gerard why he had stopped, but his Master just smirked, choosing to stand up, leaving Frank confused because was that it? Was the reward leaving him like this? Gagging for it and with an erection that Frank just wanted to touch so he could get some form of relief.    
  
He didn’t dare though. If Gerard caught him then he probably wouldn’t blow him anymore. Not that he was now, but Frank hoped that he would come back for more. Maybe he was just teasing and torturing him like he had done in the bedroom earlier. Maybe Gerard had found a weakness in Frank and he was seeing how far he could push it. Gerard had said that he needed to work on his stamina, so maybe his reward was supposed to be a form of preparation. Training. Who knew. Frank honestly didn’t while he remained sat in the chair that he had chosen to sit in not that long before, before the blow job, before right now where he just wanted to fucking come so badly again.   
  
Even rubbing off against something seemed like a fantastic idea right now. Maybe they had done it so much that what Gerard had done wasn’t enough for right now. Yes it had been good, but Frank needed something much more intense to bring him off. Grind against the side of the chair, or the bed or even against the sawhorse that Gerard had shown him while he introduced him to the room, or anything. Frank didn’t care, as long as very soon he was going to get something out of this that would calm down his racing heart and his aching cock.   
  
Though Gerard would probably call him something rather humiliating if he did do it. The slut insult still sat in Frank's head, reminding him of how Gerard could talk to him if he came across as too desperate. The thing was though, Frank was desperate. Past the point of being even slightly desperate. Frank would do anything to get release. And if Gerard decided that Frank deserved to be called whatever colourful insult that he saw fit for what he was doing, well, it would probably end up getting Frank off more. The humiliation and degradation having yet another wonderful effect on him that Frank didn’t know he could have ever been interested in.   
  
‘Up,” Gerard instructed, snapping his fingers at Frank who did nothing more than blink at him because he didn’t understand what was going on. Was that it? The end of the reward? Frank wanted to question, asking what was going on, but he knew not to. He knew that he had to just do as he was told, even if his body refused to move for a second. Gerard sighed, shaking his head before he took the matter into his own hands. 

 

Frank yelped when Gerard grabbed at a chunk of his hair, pulling him out of the chair because he hadn’t done as he was told. The small amount of nice guy that had been residing in Gerard dissipated quickly when he tugged Frank out of the chair, pulling him over to the bed before pushing him down onto it. 

 

Frank scrambled then, pulling himself into a sitting position on the middle of the bed, watching his Master who really did look like he was annoyed at him. Probably more than annoyed. Being annoyed probably wasn’t even a strong enough word for Gerard right now, especially with the look in his eyes which made a cold shiver run down Frank's spine. He bowed his head down, closing his eyes to avoid looking at his own cock. The problem that he wanted to address. Just touch once, even if it was only for a second, just to alleviate some of the built up pressure. See if he could get himself any closer than where Gerard had had him minutes before. Just touch himself because god, he really wanted to. Frank just knew that he couldn’t and that was why he refused to move his hands from where they were resting on the bedding, taking the temptation away from himself because if he didn’t then he would more than likely end up in more trouble. 

 

He was so sure that he was already going to get scolded over the fact that he had attempted to fuck his Master's mouth. Receive some form of punishment that made his whole body clench. It definitely wasn’t a good idea to even consider touching himself, especially when Gerard stood merely a few feet away from him, looking over him, watching him carefully as a look of disdain resided on his face.

 

“Lie down, boy. On your back,” Gerard directed Frank. He moved as quickly as possible, trying to hide how his nerves, excitement and frustration were making him oh so giddy. He lay down, resting his head on the mound of pillows, trying to relax even though Gerard was making that nigh on impossible. Walking over to the right side of the bed, Gerard swiftly took hold of Frank's wrist, pulling his arm towards the top corner of the bed before wrapping and cuffing him up with a leather restraint that was attached to the bedpost.

 

Frank instantly went to pull on it, the leather pinching against his wrist, his heart rate speeding when he realised what Gerard was doing. Frank lifted his head up to watch his Master far too casually walk around to the other side of the bed. Frank knew what was about to happen, knowing even before Gerard took hold of his other wrist, doing the same thing again, leaving Frank powerless on the bed. Completely vulnerable and totally exposed on the bed. Frank's head flopped back down against the pillows, adjusting to the fact that Gerard had bound his wrists to the bed posts, absolutely fucking riveting on the bed because he was so open and defenseless. Gerard could do whatever he wanted to him and Frank wouldn’t be able to stop him. Not that he wanted to stop him. He wondered what Gerard was going to do, knowing full well that there was this whole array of toys and implements and god knows what else at his disposal. Frank stomach clenched, skin tingling before Gerard moved.

 

He paced again, stopping at the foot of the bed, looking over Frank which made his insides burn near white hot. Eyes roamed, looking over every visible inch of skin, scrutinizing. Frank fought back the whimper in his throat, unable to stop how his legs instinctively went to pull up, attempting to cover himself while his Master continued to look over him.

 

Gerard grabbed at Frank's ankles when he moved them away, pulling his legs straight again. Frank didn’t even struggle when he was held down, submitting eagerly, practically teetering when he felt cuffs being wrapped around his ankles, locking them together.

 

“Such a sight,” Gerard spoke proudly, looking over Frank and what he had done to him, leaving him trussed up like some prize that was his Master's and no one else’s, “You do look rather beguiling like this.”

 

Frank breathed through his nose, trying to hold himself together while he watched Gerard walk over to the glass cabinet that they had been in front of not long before. He watched his Master, anticipating what he was going to choose. So much to choose from, Frank's mind was going wild, unable to settle on one definite thing that he wanted done to him. Sordid and most likely degrading fantasies played out in Frank's mind while the leather pinched at his wrists, adding to the layers of arousal and sheer want to please his Master piled on top of him. He could just imagine Gerard picking out the oversized dildo that sat on the top shelf. The one that was definitely bigger and thicker than his Master. Imagining getting fucked with that, Frank's asshole clenched at the idea, whole body shuddering, making him wonder if being filled with something of that girth would even feel good.

 

It more than probably would. Frank was sure of it, especially seeing as he was rather fond of Gerard's size and how good that felt when they first had sex.

 

Gerard didn’t even pay attention to that shelf though. Frank kept his mouth shut, watching intently while his Master's back was turned on him, seeing Gerard pick out a gag. The wiffle gag, Frank remembered. He squirmed on the bed, trying to remain still and quiet as Gerard turned back to him. Frank looked up at the ceiling then, thrumming with anticipation as Gerard walked back over to the bed, the gag resting in his fingers, the ties hanging down freely.

 

“Head up, boy,” Gerard told him. Frank did just that, lifting his head up. In an instant he thought of something to say, only holding back because he didn’t have permission to speak. Frank went to ask for it, but Gerard stopped him when the gag was pushed into his mouth, making Frank muffle out a noise, an incoherent noise that made Gerard smirk while he fastened the gag behind Frank's head. Frank flopped his head back down against the pillows when Gerard was done fastening the gag, trying his best to remain still as a content smile resided on his Masters face. 

 

“Now, do you remember your signal, dog?” Gerard changed it up. Frank internally melted at it, the abasement turning him into a hot mess on the bed, back at the same point of desperation that he had been at in the chair before. Frank nodded, showing Gerard three fingers on his restrained right hand, unable to tell him that he was showing him, “Yes, your favoured hidden middle finger…”

 

Frank didn’t want to have to use it. Something in him was telling him that he could do this. If he could withstand and enjoy the spanking he had received earlier then whatever Gerard was about to do to him was going to be something that he wanted to see through. He didn’t want to come across as weak either. Unable to cope with something that he had signed up for. But at least he had it. At least he knew he could use it if Gerard pushed him further than he expected so quickly.

 

Gerard removed his lilac shirt again, tossing it onto the chair behind him. Frank couldn’t help tugging on the cuffs when Gerard started to take off the few items of clothing he was wearing, removing his boxers, leaving Frank grunting against the gag in his mouth, wishing that he wasn’t tied up. Wishing that he could just get a hand around his Master. Do something because Frank knew what he wanted and what he wanted was going to be out of reach for him as long as he remained this restricted on the bed.

 

Gerard climbed onto the bed, kneeling over Frank's bound legs, looking down at him while he ran a hand along his already hardening cock. Frank couldn’t tear his eyes away, completely transfixed and wanting. Gerard stroked his length, getting hard, torturing the boy who was completely powerless, immobilized and totally mesmerised by what he was watching.

 

“Look at you, so desperate,” Gerard taunted Frank, still with a hand on his now hard cock. Frank whimpered, the tone going right to his already overworked senses, wriggling beneath Gerard in a pathetic attempt to move, “You want this, don’t you, boy?”   
  
Frank nodded feverently, sucking on the ball gag when he realised he was drooling, unable to stop the spit that was currently working its way down his face.

 

“But do you think you deserve this, boy?” Gerard questioned again, watching the way Frank paused. He believed that he deserved it. If this was all part of his supposed reward then Gerard was being more than a prick tease. Goading him on with the way he kept his hand on his cock, stroking it, making the most sinful noises hit Frank's ears, leaving him wanting to nod. He deserved it. That was all Frank kept thinking as he finally nodded the tiniest of nods, hoping and praying that Gerard would finally give him what he needed so badly, “You really think you deserve this after you tried to take control in the chair? Or have you forgotten about you little misadventure?”   
  
Frank felt like kicking himself if he could. That one moment where he had let his need take over, his hunger for what he couldn’t achieve had brought on this one moment where his Master was continuously winding him up. Refusing to nod this time, Frank felt like he couldn’t do anything. If he nodded then he would probably end up in more trouble, and if he shook his head then he would probably end up not getting anything. Left so wound up that he felt like he was going to burst. Something had to be done, but Frank honestly didn’t know which path to take. It felt too risky right now, especially when Gerard had all the power in the world with him.

 

“Don’t think for a second that I was going to let that slide, dog,” Gerard told him, making Frank shrink, hopelessly pulling on the cuffs on his wrists, mentally cursing because of what he had done. If only he had been able to control himself a little more, then maybe he wouldn’t have been in this predicament right now. Not that he minded. Seeing as this was a first for him, he was revelling in the effect that this was having on him. There was no way in hell he was going to stop this. Frank just lay there, mesmerised by his Master, willing to do anything and everything right now, “Your ill-considered behaviour was egregious. I am very disappointed in you, boy.”

 

Frank whimpered behind the gag, unable to properly vocalise what effect Gerards words were having on him. Frank had been told off plenty of times before because of his behaviour, leaving him feeling sorry for himself. But he didn’t feel that way right now. If anything, Gerards words were having the opposite effect on him. He was getting such a kick from the intricate and over complicated words that, in all honesty, he didn’t know what half of them meant. But that didn’t matter because he knew that Gerard was admonishing him and he could feel the knot in the pit of his stomach getting tighter because of it.

 

“This kind of conduct would usually warrant punishment,” Gerard informed Frank, watching his subs eyes go wide at that. Gerard smirked, letting go of himself now that he had got Frank’s full attention, “I know what you want, but that is not even close to what you deserve,” Gerard leant over Frank. Frank's breathing faltered when Gerard looked down at him, trying to look away, but he was drawn in, transfixed, knowing full well that he was going to get whatever was coming at him, “A disobedient pup needs to be put in his place. Taught a lesson, don’t you think?”   
  
Frank didn’t move a muscle. He didn’t dare while Gerard looked over him, eyes scanning, the silence around them almost deafening. Frank closed his eyes at that point, praying that someone or something was going to take the wheel for him. Take control of himself and how he was absolutely thrumming before Gerard spoke again.

 

“Maybe some time in the cage would teach out how to behave,” Gerard decided, watching Frank react to his words, “Certainly a fitting place for such an unscrupulous mongrel who forgets who his Master is the moment that he gets a reward.”   
  
Frank shook his head, trying to speak, even though he couldn’t. Nothing but muffled sounds came out even though he was practically begging for Gerard not to do that to him. Yes he had stepped out of line, but Frank had learnt his lesson. He wouldn’t do it again. If only Gerard would let him get his words out then he would know just how sorry he was for what he had most stupidly done earlier.

 

“No?” Gerard raised an eyebrow at Frank, watching the boy squirm against his cuffs, “So you’re deciding on these things now are you? My my, I thought you knew who was in charge here? Am I going to have to remind you of that, boy?”   
  


Frank stilled then, knowing that keeping quiet was probably going to be the thing that kept him on the bed and out of the cage. All he wanted was his Master. Not some time out because for a second he had forgotten how to behave. Or something worse. Frank couldn’t even begin to imagine what other punishments Gerard might have had lined up for him when he wasn’t on his best behaviour. Clenching his fists, Frank sucked on the ball gag again, spit now running down and pooling against his collarbone, spilling over his skin and leading a line down the the bed beneath him, beginning to soak it. Trying to breathe as evenly as possible through the plastic, Frank remained still, looking away from Gerard, hoping and praying to whatever god was up there that this was going to end well for him.

 

“You need to learn control, my boy,” Gerard reminded him, choosing to move back into the position he was in, kneeling over Frank's legs, still looking down at him while he ran a hand through his hair, “One way or another, you will. One way being the situation you are in right now.”

 

Frank frowned, not knowing what Gerard was talking about. Was he talking about the fact that he was tied to the bedposts, unable to do anything other than lie there and go through this whole ordeal like this? Having no control on anything at all right now. That seemed pretty obvious, but Gerard smirked, making Frank know that there was definitely something else that he wasn’t fully aware of.

 

“You really have no idea what I have done, do you, boy?” Gerard snorted, seeing the look of innocence on Frank's face, “To teach you some control and rein in your trigger-happy urges.”

 

Frank did nothing but frown, watching Gerard, hoping that he would finally explain what he was doing to him.

 

“Do you know what the purpose of a cock ring is?” Gerard asked quite casually, second guessing the blank look on Frank's face before he shook his head, “Have you ever used one before?”   
  
Again, Frank shook his head, now catching onto the fact that Gerard clearly had put on the ring he had spotted in the cabinet for a reason.

 

“The main purpose of a cock ring is the restrict the blood flow, causing the wearer to have and maintain a stronger erection,” Gerard began explaining, making Frank wonder where he was going with this, “But it can also delay orgasms. Meaning that you, my boy, won’t be coming until I give you permission to. Do you understand?”   
  
Frank wanted to understand, he really did, but his body was screaming out for release. He muffled out a noise, tugging on the cuffs before he realised his actions were completely futile. There was nothing he could do about it. And even if he could, Gerard had spoken. He had told Frank how this was going to be and that was that. Frank caved, breathing out heavily through his nose before nodding, understanding why Gerard was doing this to him.

 

“I could fuck you for as long as I want and all the while you won't be able to come. You won't be able to do anything about it, just lying there all helpless,” Gerard went on, voice darkening, his words making Frank whimper around the gag. The idea sounded like heaven and hell all at once. Heaven because Gerard would fuck him for however long he wanted to. Continuously slamming into Frank like his only purpose was to be used like that. It sounded so wrong, but Frank wanted that so much. To be used. To please his Master. The only part of it that felt like hell was the part where he wouldn't be able to come. The constant torrent of pleasure that would go on for however long Gerard saw fit, it wouldn't amount to anything. It would get to a point and then Frank would be left there. Left dangling, hoping and praying to god that eventually Gerard would let him finally come. Let him have the one thing that he was dying to reach.

 

Gerard shifted on the bed then, taking hold of Frank's ankles. He lifted them, bending him, making Frank whine when he bent his legs. The cuffs tugged on Frank's skin as Gerard got between his legs, still bending him. The air left Frank's lungs quickly, panting, feeling like he couldn't breathe properly as his legs instinctively tried to tighten around his Master's waist. So close to the second thing he wanted so much right now. His Master in him, fucking him again. Frank sucked on the gag, beginning to not care about the spit leaking down his face. All he cared about was how Gerard was rubbing against him, making the most lewd noises leave him. Indulging in his own pleasure, the self gratification making Frank wish that Gerard would just do something to him. Anything. It wasn’t like he would come from it, but he could still feel something, even though Gerard grinding against him was already making his mind stutter and fail.

 

Then there was something. Frank practically melted onto the bed when he felt the blunt nudge of cock against his hole. Clenching his fists, Frank moaned out against the gag, head tilting back, his whole body burning up as Gerard continued to press against him. Not pushing in, just rubbing, teasing. Frank desperately attempted to push against Gerard even though that was really the worst thing that he could have done.

 

He cried out when Gerard's hand slapped down on his thigh. Realising he had done wrong, Frank whimpered, recoiling, wanting to apologise for his mistake. He just hadn’t been able to help himself. Gerard was so close but so far away from what Frank craved. It was just a natural reaction, even though he knew he was going to end up paying for what he had done.

 

“You’re lucky I want to fuck you,” Gerard spat out, his hand reaching for Frank's hair, tugging and pulling, making Frank bite down on the gag and cry out as the pain rang out across his scalp. His eyes watered as Gerard watched him with a look of disgust on his face, “If I didn’t then your continuous misdemeanours would result in a severe punishment. I’ve never known a sub to have such lax control and behaviour.”

 

Frank wanted the muffled noise he made to sound like ‘sorry, sir’, but it hadn’t done. All it had done was made him sound pathetic and frantic. Such a slut like Gerard had called him earlier. Maybe he was, but only because of his Master. The one person he should have been impeccably well behaved for. At least he could put it down the the fact that he was still new to this. He just hoped that Gerard would understand that too.

 

“I should leave you here like this, dog,” Gerard sneered, tempted by the idea, “Teach you some manners and hopefully you will learn that you can’t have it your way. I am your Master and you will do right to remember that or you will face the consequences when you keep testing me with your all-out and uncontrollable impulses. Do you understand?”

 

Frank nodded, wincing at the iron grip Gerard still had on his hair, not letting up for a second while he looked down at Frank, wondering if the boy could actually control himself for once.

 

“Now, if I hear one noise from you, you will be in the cage for the night,” Gerard spoke quickly, letting go of Frank's hair. Relief washed over for a second before Gerard shifted, bending Frank over, resting him over before pushing in. Frank instantly wanted to moan out as Gerard filled him quickly, roughly. Frank winced at the sting that he felt because of the lack of lube. Still somewhat slicked up from earlier, but it wasn’t enough. Enough to feel the burn of the stretch which made Frank's whole body turn to putty. The pain and the pleasure as Gerard pushed all the way in in one go, to the hilt. Frank silently moaned, not even making a noise as bit down on the gag, fighting against every fibre in his body which was willing him to vocalise just how good it felt to have his Master buried in him again.

 

“Good boy,” Gerard purred out, watching the way Frank contained himself. Actually listening to him. Frank writhed beneath his Master, pulling on his wrist cuffs, ankle cuffs pinching as he tried to keep his legs up and around Gerard, “You do have it in you to listen to me.”   
  
Frank breathed heavily through his nose, trying to adjust quickly to being filled so rapidly. He guessed that Gerard wouldn’t give him time to adjust, the niceness of him having dissipated the moment that Frank first fucked up in the chair. Frank just tried his best, still biting down on the gag as Gerard leant down, licking a wet stripe from his jaw up to his cheek, making Frank stifle another moan somehow successfully. He had no idea how he was doing it. Maybe there was a shred of control in him after all. Or maybe it was the fear of being thrown into the cage under the bed for the night that had silenced Frank, finally behaving, even though his whole body was dying to let out how good this all felt.

 

Gerard moved, nearly pulling out completely before he slammed back in, watching the way Frank's face contorted while he tried to hold back so many noises. The pace was set fast instantaneously, not giving Frank a chance to grow accustomed to the onslaught of sharp thrusts. All the while he continued to bit down on the gag, half expecting to find teeth marks when it was removed. Frank screwed his eyes shut in an attempt to control his bodies natural need to be vocal. The near dry slide of Gerard's cock in and out of him, it was sublime. The pain and the pleasure, such a heady combination that had the knots in the pit of Frank's stomach tightening up, but only going so far. Frank could barely hold himself together, even though Gerard had made sure that he wouldn’t end up losing it too quickly. The silicone ring sat snugly around the base of his cock, making the orgasm that was buried in him tick over. Not amounting to anything yet. It reached a point of the pleasure feeling satisfying, but even Frank could assume that after a certain amount of time it would just get too much. Not enough. Body fighting for more even though Gerard had restricted him.

 

And eventually, after god knows how long because Frank had no idea how long they had been going on for, it became too much. Gerard had kept up the constant and brutal pace for what felt like forever. Every now and again Frank had dared to look up at his Master, seeing the sheen of sweat that was covering him, the sight alone making Frank want to come, but he just couldn’t. Couldn’t get past the barrier that was stopping him. 

 

It had gone past the point of feeling good and now Frank was beyond the point of being frustrated. His whole body screamed out for what was barred. Silently he just took it though, knowing, or at least more hoping, that Gerard would eventually let him come. He couldn’t just keep him like this forever. Eventually the ring had to be taken off and then finally, fucking finally, he would come. It would be worth it, that was what Frank kept telling himself as Gerard continued, his near dry thrusts making Frank want to cry out from behind the gag, so lost in the built up static in him. 

 

Frank was practically sobbing with it all, remaining silent because of what Gerard would do if he made a sound. Still, Frank could barely take it anymore. He felt like he was dying, whole body tensing up as the need started to overtake every other thought he had at the moment. The sound of Gerard over him, the feel of him sliding near dry in and out of him, skin against skin, Frank was on the brink but held back. Frank clenched his fists, trying to hold onto the tiny shred of sanity in him that was somehow holding him together. The one thing still keeping him quiet as he pulled on his wrist cuffs, head tilting back, hoping, praying, needing, wanting to demand, but he just couldn’t. Having to remain silent. Having to just let Gerard use him, which in all honesty turned Frank on more, but he was past the point of it feeling good. He felt over sensitive but without the orgasm coming before it. Every muscle in his body felt taut, straining, soon to snap and unravel the moment that Gerard would eventually let him have what he was desperate for.

 

“Such a good boy,” Gerard panted out, his voice shot and sounding like pure sex to Frank. Closing his eyes, Frank felt the bubbling heat swirl and twist his gut over the way his Master sounded. He didn’t say a word, knowing that that would have counted for a noise and Frank really needed this to happen more than being probably kicked into the cage and left overnight, still unable to come. Gerard would have probably told him he couldn’t and of course he would have known if Frank did come. Thank god for the gag, even though Frank had lost all care over the fact that the lower half of his face and neck was covered in spit. There was nothing he could do about it. Plus the way Gerard looked at him when he was like that, he looked like he wanted to devour him which Frank would more than willingly let him do if it meant that he would be able to come at the end of it, “So well behaved. I think someone deserves to come, don’t you?”   
  
Frank stopped himself from nodding. Something in him made him think that it was a trick question. Like the answer was more than obvious and it didn’t require an answer or a nod. Frank knew that he wasn’t supposed to make a sound so even when Gerard let up for a moment, slowing down so he could talk, Frank still remained silent. He didn’t nod and he just waited patiently, seeing if his lack of response was the right thing to do or whether Gerard was going to give him permission to respond.

 

“Very good,” Gerard praised him, happy with the fact that Frank had cottoned on to the fact that he hadn’t been given permission. The boy was learning and Gerard was more than impressed, “Conduct like this deserves recompention.”

 

Frank didn’t know what Gerard meant by that with his articulate words, but he caught on pretty quickly when he felt fingers gripping at the ring around the base of his cock, pulling, sliding the ring off before it was discarded on the bed. Gerard didn’t let up then, picking the rhythm back up as Frank started to feel the once blocked off swell in him starting to grow. He knew what was coming and he was more than ready for it. Feeling his thighs starting to shake, Frank tried to breath, the overly tight coils in the pit of his stomach started to unravel. Heat blossomed and spread. Hotter than he imagined. It felt more than he expected. Something that Frank had never felt before. He had, but not to this extent. The surge in him grew and grew, overtaking any form of orgasm he had had before when it all of a sudden hit him like electricity passing through his whole body. 

 

From his curling toes to his clenched fists, it felt indescribable, like multiple orgasms all at once, hitting him and knocking him stunned. The intensity was more than he expected as his whole body lurched on the bed, come streaking his stomach and chest as he came, still fighting back the urge to make a sound, which was harder than expected while he came. Jaw clenching while he bit down hard on the gag, breathing through his nose while the orgasm continued to course through him for longer than he imagined, still sending shockwaves rippling through his whole body. Frank screwed his eyes shut so tight that he could see colours behind his eyelids. He had never come that hard before in his life. Never before had he felt his mind had shattered into so many pieces and still hadn’t tried to piece itself back together because Gerard was still going. He hadn’t stop and the overworked nerves in Frank had him clenching, wanting to stop but also not wanting to stop. It felt too good to stop, even though he was starting to feel sore. Riding out the orgasm as Gerard got closer to his own was worth it. All of this was totally worth it now as Frank felt like he was going to go limp, completely wiped out but hanging onto everything while Gerard chased, eventually coming a few short, sharp thrusts later. 

 

His whole body tensed while he came in Frank before relaxing, panting, pulling out before collapsing onto the bed beside Frank. Frank didn’t even pay attention for a second, totally spaced out and fucked out, staring up at the ceiling above him, not even properly focussing on anything until he felt the bed shift next to him. Still looking up at the ceiling, he only looked away when he felt the cuff around his left wrist being unfastened. Then the right when Gerard leant over him. Frank instantly went to rub his red wrists, lifting his head up when the gag was unfastened. His mouth felt sore. Flexing his jaw, Frank wiped the drying spit from his face, still panting, still recovering from the intensity of the sex and his expected and unexpected shock of an orgasm. 


	41. Chapter 38: You Think You Could Get Away With Trying To Take Control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait people. Busy busy week we've had, but here we are, it's update time again.
> 
> Any errors, apologies, but we think we got them all :)

Frank stood in the office hallway that Monday afternoon, his eyes scanning over the spreadsheets that Sarah had given him to process through into the system. He looked at the clipboard in his hand, biting on his lip when he realised it.

"Sarah?"

"What?" She asked curtly, looking up from the file in her hands as she stood in the doorway of the filing room.

"I uh..." Frank tried to ignore the weird look she gave him, the condescending stare as though he were stupid, "There's something missing."

"I checked it three times." She rolled her eyes, "There's nothing missing."

"Sarah..." Frank walked over, "It goes from page seven to page nine."

"No way." She muttered softly before snatching the clipboard from him, "No, no, no..."

"Sorry." Frank apologised for some reason, watching the frown set in her dark brows as she went through all of the pages frantically.

"Where the fuck?" She muttered under her breath, "Fuck, where are they?"

"I don't-" Frank shook his head as he looked around when he saw Gerard's door open out of his periphery and he swallowed. He glanced up to see Gerard standing expectantly in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe, looking absolutely delectable in his suit. Although it wasn't a matching suit, it looked way too good on him.

Frank had asked to dress Gerard that morning, grinning in surprise when Gerard had said yes, telling his submissive that it was a rarity and that it was more of a reward than anything else.

Frank had picked out a pair of tight black slacks for his master with a white button up that was striped with thin vertical black, a grey tweed blazer with thin black plaid went over the white shirt and to top it all off Frank had picked out a blood orange coloured tie that was littered with blue and white speckles over it. Frank handed Gerard a pair of black dress boots and matching red-orange socks.

Gerard eyed the outfit, smirking as he stood there in a beige towel, his pale skin still dripping with warm shower rivulets.

Frank couldn't deny just how good Gerard looked in a suit, almost just as good as he did in absolutely nothing. Frank looked at his Master again, biting on his lip when he looked again at Sarah who was in the filing room and looking through a filing cabinet.

Gerard merely raised his hand, his hand lowered at his side, palm facing out with his index finger pointed at the floor in a signal that Frank knew he should remember and he wracked his brain, thinking back to the night before when Gerard had sat teaching him Dominant hand signals.

_"Now, boy." Gerard smiled as he sat across from his submissive on his bed that evening, "A bit of submissive training to end your day. What do you think?"_

_"Yes, sir." Frank readjusted on the bed, "What kind of training?"_

_"Hand signals, boy." Gerard began, "Hand signals are a sign of nonverbal communication between a Dominant and their slave. Which means that I can give you instructions without saying a word."_

_"That- I mean..." Frank closed his mouth, realising he didn't have permission to speak, zipping his lips shut as Gerard gave him a small head nod of approval._

_"There are quite a few and a lot of Dominants create their own hand signals for their submissives but I prefer the common ones. You look like you have a question, boy?"_

_Frank nodded and Gerard waved a hand, giving him permission to speak, "How many are there?"_

_"There are..." Gerard looked up for a moment, thinking as he counted on his fingers, biting on his bottom lip before he looked at his submissive, "About twenty."_

_"I have to learn twenty?" Frank asked incredulously, blurting out all of a sudden at the thought, his eyes widening, "How am I-"_

_"Hey!" Gerard snapped suddenly, making Frank whimper and recoil at the raised voice in his direction, his leg lifting involuntarily, "One more unpermitted sound from you and there will be consequences, mongrel."_

_"Sorry, sir." Frank whimpered and looked down, hands curled sheepishly in his lap._

_"That counts as unprecedented, boy." Gerard reached up, giving the side of Frank's head a swat. Frank let out a hiss, whining at the hard slap to his head but he dare not touch, ignoring how the slap resonated through all of his insides, dick included, "You like that, boy?"_

_Frank stifled an answer, stifled the whimper that wanted to follow suit, and kept his gaze down on the bed in front of him._

_"Tell me, pup." Gerard ordered firmly and Frank felt the blush sinking into his system and rise up into his cheese._

_"Y- Yes, sir." Frank whispered, the degradation still ringing in the forefront of his brain._

_"Absolutely abhorrent, dog." Gerard muttered again, taking Frank's jaw in a firm grip, forcing him to look up, his eyes darting away from his Master, submitting to him as though he were melting, Gerard's fingertips digging into Frank's teeth._

_Frank swallowed hard, his eyes looking into the stern and set gaze of his Dominant that was glaring back. He let go of Frank's face harshly, his hand pushing Frank's head aside roughly. Frank withheld the whine in his throat at the hard turn in his neck from Gerard's forceful push._

_"You like it when I push you around, dog?" Gerard asked, his voice sickly sweet, condescending as though Frank were merely a peasant and he was the king. In Frank's eyes, however, that's how he saw it._

_Gerard was the king of Frank's world, he was the be all and end all of Frank's universe and he wanted nothing less than to worship Gerard on the highest throne, kiss his feet and do his every bidding._

_Frank shuddered in a breath, "Y- Yes, I- I do, Master."_

_"You want me to push you around." Gerard crooned mockingly, hitting Frank's head again, slapping the other side swiftly, light slaps that hit Frank's head around like a pinball. His cheeks continued to grow hotter as the humiliation continued and God knows he couldn't understand why he was both loving and hating it._

_Frank gasped softly, whimpering as Gerard clipped his head one more time before stuffing a hand into his thick locks, tugging hard, "Tell you what, boy... Why don't we use this as an incentive for you? We learn these hand signals and if you do well then how about Master roughs you up a bit, hmm?"_

_"O- Oh..." Frank gasped softly, "Yes, sir."_

_"Good boy." Gerard let go of Frank's hair and pushed him back up into a straight position, Frank's heart racing in his chest as he adjusted his red collar and looked at Gerard's hands._

_"We're gonna do the basic ones first. First one." Gerard stated sternly as he held his hand up, the back of his hand facing Frank with his index finger being the only finger extended, "This, boy. Means that I want your attention."_

_"Attention." Frank muttered softly, nodding, "Yes, sir."_

_"This," Gerard raised his other hand, mimicking the other before he crossed his two index fingers into an 'x', "Means silence."_

_"Silence." Frank whispered softly in reply._

_"This particular one," Gerard held his index finger up before twirling it in a circle, "Means I want you to get naked for me."_

_"Yes, sir." Frank whispered softly, nodding avidly, trying to pay attention when all he wanted was to leap forward and grind on Gerard and suck on his fingers, the thought having Frank fade out for a second before he sternly pulled himself back into reality just in time to see Gerard's next signal._

_Frank looked as Gerard held both hands up, curled as though he were holding a lengthy pipe, "Know what this means, pup?"_

_"N- No, sir."_

_"It means 'suck', dog." Gerard muttered and Frank swallowed, nodding at the thought when Gerard did the next hand signal. The Dominant lifted his index finger up before pointing it down, "This means I want you to come to me."_

_"Come..." Frank whispered under his breath, nodding hazily, biting then on his lip, "Got it."_

_"This," Gerard's hand curled, thumb and index finger now both pointing to the ground almost like a short-letter 'n', "Is bend over."_

_"O- Oh..." Frank swallowed, trying to sound nonchalant about the idea of bending over for his Master._

_"Kneel down." Gerard explained as he pointed his index and middle finger down at the ground._

_"Right."_

_Gerard curled his hand into the pipe grip again, his other hand coming up, index finger resting on the very rim of the opening of his hand and he looked at Frank with a smirk, "Sex boy. This means sex. This means I want it and I want you. Now. I do this and you come running, got it?"_

_"Y- Yes..." Frank nodded vigorously, "Fuck yes."_

_Gerard pointed his index and middle fingers down yet again with the only difference being that his fingers were parted and not together like before, "This means I want you to spread your legs, boy. Got it?"_

_"Crystal clear, Master." Frank whispered softly in reply, his mouth slightly drier than when they had started this knowledgeable exercise._

_"And this," Gerard's fingers circled again with his three other fingers slightly aloft, "Means 'well done'."_

_"Yes." Frank nodded, "W- Well done."_

_"What does this mean, Frank?" Gerard asked as he held his index finger up and swirled it slowly and Frank stared at it for a moment before he looked at Gerard._

_"I- You want me to get n- naked, right sir?"_

_"That's my good boy." Gerard urged and Frank withheld the wide grin that wanted to spread to his lips, "Would you like to continue?"_

_"Yes, sir."_

_Gerard turned his hand inward, pointing to the ground with his index finger, palm facing Frank, "This means come here immediately and stand on point."_

_"O- On point?" Frank stammered, a small frown knitting in his brows._

_"Essentially I want you to stand at my side like a good boy, Frank." Gerard crooned, voice dripping the warmest honey, honey that were rolling over the sharpest blade of a deadly knife that would wound you with the lightest touch._

_"R- Right." Frank whispered, nodding, "At your side... On the... L- Left, right?"_

_"That's my boy." Gerard reward, taking Frank's hand and giving it a kiss, nipping at the sensitive pad of Frank's fingertip, "Want to keep on?"_

_"Ye- Yeah. I mean... Yes, sir." Frank corrected, hissing in pain as Gerard bit down on his finger in a nonverbal warning at his mistake. Frank held his finger, nursing it with over-dramatisation._

_"If I do this," Gerard ignored his submissive and held his index finger up, palm facing Frank, "I want you to listen. Don't speak."_

_"Right, sir." Frank nodded._

_Gerard lowered his hand, facing outward with his index and middle finger down, "Kneel on the ground with your eyes down."_

_"I understand, Master." Frank whispered when Gerard lifted his hand up again, still palm facing out and he crossed his index and middle finger._

_"Any guesses?"_

_"Uh-" Frank bit on his lip for a second, studying his Master's fingers, Gerard's thumb as it rested on the knuckle of his ring finger, "Shit. I just used that for jinxing as a kid, I didn't know it meant anything."_

_"In our lifestyle, it means that I want you silent. And silent until I instruct otherwise." Gerard explained simply, "You see, each one has it's own description and although it may be similar to another, it is different."_

_"The other one included listening, this one is just quiet." Frank offered up, shrugging as a glimmer of hope at his answer rose up._

_"Very good, boy. Excellent." Gerard smiled proudly as he pointed his palm outward and his index and middle finger pointed down but parted, "This?"_

_"You showed this one," Frank frowned, "That's kneel, isn't it?"_

_"Yes, it is kneel..." Gerard nodded, "But I showed you this," Gerard closed his fingers,_

_"And this one..." Frank asked as Gerard turned his hand back outward like it was before._

_"Kneel down with your eyes down and not at me was first but this is different." Gerard explained and Frank nodded, "This is kneel with your legs spread, arms behind your back with your eyes down. Understand?"_

_"Yes, sir."_

_Gerard raised his hand, pointing lazily to the door with his index finger, "This means that I want you to leave the room but remain nearby."_

_"I see, Master." Frank nodded as Gerard did a similar hand signal from earlier, his index finger and thumb pointing downwards in a familiar 'n' shape, "That's bend over, isn't it?"_

_"Ah, you see, pup... That's this one." Gerard smiled as he widened the gap between his fingers, "But the one I'm showing you has an all the more narrowed gap, therefore, it means something different, boy."_

_"Oh." Frank flushed at his idiocy, "Right. What does it mean, sir?"_

_"Sit on the floor."_

_"Yes, sir." Frank smiled, "Got it."_

_"That's my smart boy." Gerard smiled, pointing to the door again with two fingers, his hand to the side, palm facing Frank, "This means that I'm not impressed with your lack of obedience, boy. It means that you haven't done what I've asked. In essence, this hand signal is telling you to go and do what I've told you."_

_"Like yelling but not." Frank nodded, "I get you."_

_"You better hope I don't have to use this one, boy. Or else a punishment follows." Gerard warned, his voice reaching that familiar tone that had Frank shy down like a meek puppy._

_"Yes, sir." Frank whispered, avoiding Gerard's gaze._

_"This," Gerard continued, hand facing outward and down, his four fingers pointed to the floor with his thumb tucked in, "This is for you to get on your hands and knees."_

_"Alright." Frank chuckled, smiling._

_"This is an alternate for "I want you naked," Gerard signed, his index finger up when he signed a 'z' zigzag in the air, "Altogether naked for me, understand?"_

_"So there's two for that one only?" Frank frowned, "Why?"_

_"Just is," Gerard smiled, "The other is the original but perhaps there is a difference. The other is to get naked and this is to remove your clothes. Perhaps you have something else on that isn't clothing that I would like you to keep on your body. Then I would sign for clothes only and not for total nudity."_

_"Oh, I see." Frank smiled, tucking his hands into his lap, "How many are left, sir?"_

_"Just one, boy." Gerard pointed his hand down, facing outward with his four fingers down but spread out, "This is 'on your elbows and knees, chest down and ass up."_

_"Specific." Frank whispered._

_"And something you seem to be good at." Gerard commented, eyeing Frank who instantly went pink._

_"Thank you, sir." Frank bit his lip._

_"I'm still glad that you've started taking your compliments.' Gerard stated as he got up and walked over to the middle of the floor of his room and looked at his submissive before he lowered his hand to the side, palm out with two fingers pointing down. He looked at Frank pointedly, the latter looked at his submissive, who jumped and skittered over, dropping onto his knees with his eyes on Gerard's bare feet._

_"Such a good boy." Gerard crooned, grabbing Frank suddenly by the top of his head, hand curled in his hair, forcing him to look up. Frank cried out at the sharp pain in his scalp that made his eyes water, his teeth gnashing together as he tried to compensate for the pain._

_Gerard let go, swatting Frank's cheek with the back of his hand before his hand lowered again, his four fingers spread out and pointed down. Frank complied, going down on his elbows, chest to the floor at his Master's feet._

_"Good boy." Gerard muttered, rubbing Frank's face with the bridge of his foot slowly, "Kiss my foot, dog."_

_Frank sucked in a breath, looking up at Gerard for a second, seeing the dominance in his eyes that made him look down, whimpering as he kissed the top of Gerard's foot._

_"Good boy."_

Frank stared at Gerard's hand and nodded, looking at Sarah and then at Gerard, realising Gerard wanted him there and now. Frank glanced at Sarah one more time and then turned, scurrying into Gerard's office.

Gerard closed the door behind Frank before he grabbed his submissive by the wrist and pushed him down against the desk, slamming his face against the wood. Frank grunted at the pain in his cheekbone, gasping in silent shudders at Gerard's violence, the feeling rushing straight to his pants.

"I saw you outside in the hallway, boy. I couldn't stop thinking about you and your valiant escapades last night, pushing me around and using me to get yourself off." Gerard was leaning over Frank, body pressed tight as his lips ghosted over Frank's ear, a hand holding Frank's wrist tightly behind his back, "And then I thought to myself that maybe I've been far too lenient with you, that you've been taking way too many chances, you concupiscent mongrel."

"I-" Frank began when Gerard's hand connected with his head again, Frank letting out a small and almost-silent scream.

"Did I fucking say you could speak, you obstreperous reprobate?" Gerard hissed as Frank started to whimper, his eyes squeezed shut as he panted.

"No, sir."

"Then why the fuck did you think it okay to interrupt me, boy?" Gerard's hand came down, slapping the side of Frank's hip harshly, gripping it iron-clad with his fingers, "I'm going out for two minutes to oversee something and when I get back I want you over my desk on that side with your pants down and your attitude substantially improved upon. Understand?"

"Y- Yes, Master- Sir- I- Yes." Frank babbled breathlessly as Gerard pointed at the other side of the desk as he grabbed his submissive by the scruff and pulled him up before forcibly shoving him around the side of the desk. Frank stumbled and looked at Gerard, who had already calmly opened the door and walked out, his grey tweed blazer billowed slightly behind him at his set pace. Frank swallowed hard and stared at the door, wondering whether or not he should have closed it.

Frank looked down at the desk and peered out, seeing no one in the periphery when his hands shakily went up to his belt, unfastening it and his black slacks. He froze, whimpering as he held his pants up and scurried over to the door, closing it.

He turned, locking the door that led to his and Derek's office. Frank walked back over to his spot behind the desk where he pushed his pants and underwear down around his ankles. He pulled off his blazer and set it aside, the thick material too tight on his body.

Frank carefully lowered himself over the desk, a hand slipping beneath it to his dick, sucking in a breath as he felt himself hardening in his own grip, his erection had already made itself known the moment Gerard had grabbed him.

Frank shuddered another small and muffled gasp passed his lips as his knees buckled, his fingers tightening their grip around his dick, stroking himself as he tried to breathe, waiting so patiently for his Master.

Frank heard the door open and he whimpered, frowning as he kept his eyes closed, hearing the soft tap of Gerard's shoes on the floor, silent as he crossed the carpet. Frank felt a hand caress his hair and he opened his eyes to see Gerard standing at his side, looking him over. Frank instantly dropped his hand from his dick just in case, rearranging on his feet, shifting his weight.

"Good boy." Gerard whispered, his hand running from Frank's hair and down his back before the other hand joined, his icy hands stroking over Frank's ass slowly, kneading and teasing when there was a shift in weight over Frank and hot breath in his ear, "You're my needy little whore, aren't you, Frank?"

"Y- Yes I am, sir." Frank swallowed, nodding shakily, "Yours."

"You bet your ass." Gerard bit down on Frank's earlobe, nipping a little harder than necessary and causing Frank to cringe at the pain and gasp quietly. Gerard raised his hand beside Frank's face, his index and middle fingers raised and crossed, "You know what this means, boy?"

"Q- Quiet until you say, sir." Frank swallowed.

"And now you keep it that way, understand?" Gerard warned, "Or I put you over my knee later."

Frank nodded in reply, biting on his lip as Gerard's weight over him shifted away, hands sliding over Frank's ass, heels of his hands resting on the back of Frank's upper thigh. Frank swallowed at the flat feel of Gerard's hands on his skin, stroking as his hands gripped Frank's flesh.

Then it was when Frank realised where Gerard was, the warm breath on his thighs, so close but so far. Frank could feel Gerard's mouth on his asscheek, tongue flat and warm on his skin in a surprising contrast to his cold hands on either side.

"Is this what you want, boy?" Gerard asked in a soft voice, the idle nonchalance was somehow making Frank all and every inch more riled up.

"P- Please..." Frank gasped, fingers digging into the edge of the desk as Gerard's mouth teased at the inside of his asscheek, mouthing and sucking. Frank felt like he was about to cry, practically weep at how good it felt as he wondered how he had gone his whole life without being eaten out even just once.

Frank was pulled out of his thought bubble by Gerard's tongue on his asshole, lapping slowly, groaning to himself. Frank swallowed hard, eyes squeezed shut as he lifted himself up on his toes, his thighs shaking as Gerard's tongue stroked a firm and steady rhythm over his most sensitive skin.

Frank gasped, shuddering as Gerard ran a finger over Frank's asshole, teasing and taunting, pressing and slipping his index finger into Frank slowly. Frank's mouth hung open as he dropped down from his shaky legs, thighs shivering as he his Master plundered into him with both tongue and now two fingers.

Frank's body went up into a sudden and sharp bolt of pleasure as Gerard's fingers massaged his prostate, his tongue flitting in a rapid succession over Frank's stretched hole.

Gerard twisted his hand, his fingers crooking up as he gripped the table, giving Frank's asshole one more tonguing, firm and rigid along with his lengthy fingers. Frank felt Gerard move away and stand up behind him, running his free hand over Frank's lower back as the other continued to finger Frank's hole relentlessly.

The tight knots in Frank's gut continued to tighten like a snake coiling to strike and he gasped, his skin feeling way too tight as he rutted his hips against the desk, grinding his dick against the wood.

Gerard reached forward and wrapped his hand around Frank's dick, squeezing as he stroked him deliberately and unhurriedly. Frank tried not to make a sound as his Master jerked him off, pumping him so close to his climax, Frank's legs quaking as he lifted up, whining in the back of his throat.

"You want to come, little boy?" Gerard crooned, crooking his fingers, thrusting into Frank, ravishing his prostate with his fingertips, "Let your Master hear you."

Frank let out a soft moan, his mouth hanging open as he scrunched his eyes closed even tighter, small blue spots pulsating behind his eyelids when Gerard let go of his dick. Frank wanted to whine in protest, the small groan in his throat that he thought he had control of eventually dribbled from his lips.

He had hoped that his Master hadn't heard the sound of protest but by the way Gerard had grabbed him by the scruff and lifted him up.

"You think you could get away with trying to take control?" Gerard asked in his submissive's ear, "Hmm, boy?"

"I- I-..." Frank swallowed under Gerard's hand that was wrapped around his throat.

"You know what this means?" Gerard asked as he fingered at Frank's black day collar that was hiding under the collar of his black button-up shirt, "This means that I fucking own you. You're mine, you arrogant, presumptuous little fucktoy."

Frank gasped as Gerard pushed him back down, lifting his hips up before he lined up, pushing into Frank with deliberate slowness. The pressure between them had Frank's eyes bulging until Gerard pushed in all the way, slamming in all the way to the hilt, bottoming out with way too much ease.

Gerard pulled out and slid back in, the saliva that he had slicked up Frank's hole was slowly drying, the friction between them going dry and rough. Frank gritted his teeth at the pain of it all, pushing his hips back, gripping the desk edge in front of him. Gerard's grip around his neck tightened, lifting him up as his arm wrapped around Frank's hips, keeping him close as his hips sped up in a rhythm that could only be described as unbending, ruthless and inexorable.

The soft sound of skin on skin in their dead silent office was mingling with the heady heat between them, the sweat curling under Frank's clothing, the tightness under his skin was tantric, the erotic sounds of Gerard's soft and panted breaths.

"You come here." Gerard pulled Frank up into a somewhat standing position, gripping him by the hair on the front of his head, the tight curls locked and knotted in Gerard's fingers. Gerard's face buried in Frank's shoulder, a short and shuddered breath against the white cotton, "Shit- Fuck."

Frank felt Gerard's arm tighten around him, his hips snapping roughly, dick thrusting into Frank's asshole over and over as the weak submissive felt his own legs shaking like he was about to fall.

Gerard's hips stilled, his body shaking with soft spilling tremors as he came deep inside of Frank, rocking into his submissive as he rode out his own orgasm. Frank frowned, whimpering as he rocked his hips, riding Gerard's dick as much as he could with Gerard holding him so tightly.

Gerard pulled out quickly and Frank heard the faint sound of a zipper behind him. He was pushed forward and he stumbled with his pants still around his ankles, falling with his arms out in front of him, holding himself up. He looked down at his dick with a shuddered whimper, swallowing dry as he so badly wanted to reach out and stroke himself off.

"Pants up." Gerard ordered simply and a record scratch went off in Frank's head, his gaze tearing from his leaking dick.

"P- Pardon?" Frank turned and looked at his Master, who was already fully dressed yet again, not a hair out of place and the only thing that could have given off any sort of strenuous activity was the soft pink blush to his usually pale cheeks.

"I said..." Gerard gave Frank's asscheek a slap, "Pants up, boy."

"B- But-" Frank whined softly and he turned to see Gerard's harsh glare of disapproval at his outburst.

"Excuse me, dog?" Gerard's voice dropped in volume but rose in its warning and trepidation, his eyes hardening as he looked down at Frank, "I gave you an instruction."

Frank looked down as he pulled his boxers and his black slacks back up, fastening them as he tried not to outwardly cringe at the ache and the throbbing of his still hardened dick. The straining material evident in hiding the erection within.

"Fucking cheek." Gerard muttered, grabbing Frank by the scruff and turning him around until they were face to face. Frank looked at his Master before he cast his gaze down, Gerard's grip on the back of his neck tightening, "You're lucky I gave you anything, boy. You should be so grateful, you're lucky I don't make you lick my feet as a thank you. I've given you more than you deserve, mongrel."

"Th- Thank you." Frank gasped out as Gerard's nails dug into his skin.

"Go back to work, Frank. Finish what you have to do."

"Yes, sir. Th- Thank you, sir.”


	42. Chapter 39: The only problem was sorting out the problem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good evening from the very hot UK. I hope you guys are ready because it's update time again!
> 
> Any errors, apologies, but we think we got them all :)

It was nearly midnight. That was all Frank could tell.

 

He stared up at the ceiling, not really paying attention to anything or his surroundings. Wrapped up in his half of the duvet, listening to Gerard softly snoring next to him, Frank could not sleep. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t seem to be able to drift off. He knew that he had to sleep because he was going to have to be up in about six hours, but still, actually getting his mind and body to realise that it was time to sleep, that was something that Frank wasn’t able to achieve right now.

 

It wasn’t like Frank was having a hard time adjusting to his new routine. They had gone to bed at half ten and Frank had been okay with that. He knew that he had to be up early too. Not exactly five fifteen early yet, but still early enough. Gerard had been happy to sway the wake up times to help Frank adjust to his new early starts. Get him in tune with his new rituals as Gerard had said at one point. Frank liked to believe that he was getting the hang of it, but that didn’t mean that he was going to find it easy to fall asleep when his body and mind was refusing to shut off and go to sleep.

 

No. There was one thing that Frank knew was the whole reason as to why he was still awake at nearly midnight while his Master slept soundly next to him. His Master who had got his own back in the office earlier today. His Master who had fucked him and then left him hanging for the rest of the day. That was the whole reason as to why Frank could not sleep because he had been left hanging all day and now it was starting to get just a little too much for him. The one thing keeping his mind active and awake. The sex in the office had honestly knocked Frank for six. Left him on edge all day and all night. Left him anticipating something that never came from Gerard. He never came and now here he was, lying in bed, wondering how in the world he was going to get through the night.

 

Frank hadn’t entirely been the kind of guy to just get random boners when he was in his previous relationship with Ryan. Unfortunately, this wasn’t entirely random as Frank lay there, mentally cursing because his dick was awake, standing to attention when there probably wasn’t a hope in hell of his dick getting any attention right now. Gerard continued to sleep next to Frank. Frank continued to look up at the ceiling, back on the teetering edge of sanity because he needed something. He needed the rest of what he didn’t get in the office earlier. God, how he needed to finish, but how could he when his Master was asleep next to him? His Master who had Frank wanting, needing more because he had not had his fill earlier. Needing more how in the world could he possibly go to sleep when his body was still wide awake, screaming out for something physical and oh so good. What he should have got in the office earlier, that was if Gerard hadn’t used him to get back at his behaviour.

 

Looking over at the sleeping form of his Master next to him, Frank sighed, shifting on the bed to rest a hand under his head. He had no idea what to do right now. The most obvious choice was to sort out the problem, but doing that wasn’t exactly an option that Frank could go for. He knew that if Gerard found out that he had been touching himself or even caught him while he was in the middle of touching himself, he would have ended up in more serious trouble. Frank had yet to receive any sort of proper punishment from his Master yet, but he knew that he had been pushing it. He could already sense it when he got slammed down against the desk in Gerard’s office earlier. The severe way that Gerard had shoved him around, making his dick twitch for more. His dick that was awake again, twitching for more in his pyjama pants. Jerking off next to his Master really would have been the icing on top of it all and Gerard would not even hesitate to punish him for his lack of control. Something that he barely had anyway. Frank didn’t want to think that his lack of control was completely his fault though. Given the situation he had signed up for and the fact that his Master was beyond irresistible and pretty much a sex god in Frank's eyes, this current situation and his current predicament couldn’t be put solely on him. Gerard was just as much to blame for his impromptu erection because all Frank wanted was him, right now, no matter what the time was.

 

The problem was that right now was just past midnight and Gerard had rolled over in his sleep, muttering something before going back to snoring softly. Frank watching him for  second in the dark, wondering how it was possible for someone to be so damn attractive even as the slept. He also wondered why in the world he had to go and get turned on at the most stupidest time of the day when he knew that he couldn’t just wake Gerard up because of it. Out of all the times he could have got turned on, this was by far the worst time to have picked. It was so frustrating and Frank just sighed, trying to ignore the ache in his pyjamas even though he couldn’t think of anything else.

 

As much as Frank just wanted to roll over and go to sleep, he knew that he wouldn’t be able to go to sleep until his problem was sorted out. The only problem was sorting out the problem. Usually it would have been so simple. Nothing more than quickly jerking off before he would finally be able to go to sleep. But the situation was different now and Frank knew that he couldn’t just do that while Gerard was lying next to him asleep. Frank knew that he would have been playing a dangerous game if he did decide to sort this out himself. The other option was waking Gerard up to help him out, which seemed tempting, but what if he got in trouble for waking him up? What if Gerard just told him to go back to sleep even though Frank couldn’t even get himself to sleep. Then he would just have to lie there awake with a boner that was still a problem. Frank felt stuck, not knowing what to do right now because if he left it alone then sleep still wasn’t going to come to him and coming really did seem like a very good idea right now.

 

Frank held his breath for a second, watching his Master closely as he carefully slid a hand under the duvet. Gerard was still sleeping as Frank kept an eye on him, biting his bottom lip because this was dangerous but also because it was dangerous it felt a lot more exciting. Frank knew that what he was doing was wrong and he would only end up in serious trouble over it if he got caught, but that was the thing that made it so much more exciting in a way. Frank wasn’t looking to get in trouble, but the idea of getting caught had him wondering if it was worth it. The ache in his pyjamas screamed out yes. Frank did think that it was worth it, especially because he was so turned on and had a one track mind right now, filled with thoughts of Gerard fucking him or having him in the most sordid situations that he could think of. Probably debasing him in some way, only turning him on more because the way Gerard spat insults out at him made Frank's insides burn white hot. Very similar to how they were right now as Frank slid his hand under the elastic of his pyjamas, stifling the sharp intake of breath when his fingers brushed against his cock.

 

This was so wrong, but Frank really couldn’t help himself when he moved slowly, trying not to jolt the bed or make Gerard aware of the fact that something was going on next to him. Being such a light sleeper, Frank knew that he had to be more careful, so much more careful as he slowly wrapped his hand around his cock, letting out a sigh of a moan that was barely audible as he tilted his head back on the pillow. Coils of heat simmered low in the pit of Frank's stomach while he stroked himself slowly, but somehow this didn’t feel like enough. Something had Frank stalling and not entirely getting into the rhythm of it. As much as jerking off seemed like a good idea, it just felt like it wasn’t going to be enough for him. The itch would’ve been scratched, but he probably wouldn’t have been satisfied with the end result. Frank had gone from nothing to so much in such a short amount of time that the idea of jerking off didn’t have the same effect on him as he thought it would.

 

Maybe it was the fact that the sex he now got was beyond phenomenal so jerking off wouldn’t have even come close to what he really wanted. Or maybe it was the idea of getting so lost in the moment that Frank probably wouldn’t even realise if Gerard woke up. So insistent on chasing for the one thing he really fucking needed so he could finally go to sleep, he wouldn’t notice Gerard rolling over to see what he was doing. Finding his sub touching himself behind his back, without his Master’s permission. Frank could just imagine the cold, angry and disappointed stare that he would feel on him before he finally opened his eyes and looked over, seeing Gerard watching him, knowing exactly what he was doing and exactly what he was going to have to do to make up for his misbehaviour.

 

Frank let out a frustrated sigh then, removing his hand from his pyjamas because as much as he wanted to jerk off, he just couldn’t bring himself to do it when Gerard was lying asleep right next to him. It felt wrong and Frank knew that even if it hadn’t felt wrong and he did go through with it, he would only end up getting in trouble, whether he got caught in the act or not. Somehow Gerard would know and the five minutes of pleasure before the climax really wouldn’t have been worth the punishment that would follow.

 

Unless the punishment was going to be something that Frank enjoyed. What if Gerard put him over his lap and spanked him. Frank was really into that idea and was more than aware of the fact that he really got a kick out of it. The pain and the heat and the way Gerard would come down on his ass hard had Frank squirming on the bed, getting more turned on as he thought about it. Imagined Gerard solidly spanking him until his ass was raw and his dick was hard. Frank stifled a whimper that tried to get past his lips. Thinking about getting punished was turning Frank on more. Even if he thought about Gerard doing something far more degrading and humiliating than spanking, it was still getting him going more than Frank thought it would. Frank was getting himself more and more into a hole over this and he wouldn’t be able to get himself out of it easily.

 

Frank rolled over on the bed, trying to find a position he could lie in where he wouldn’t be able to focus on the fact that his dick really didn’t want to go the fuck to sleep. Lying on his side, Frank just tried to shut off, even though that was now physically impossible. How could he possibly get to sleep when all he could think about was the sex they had had in the office and how he wanted to continue that sex now and how he could have easily been having sex right now if he just did something about it. Woke Gerard up, but that was far too risky of a thing to do, especially seeing as Frank didn’t know how he would react to be woken up at any other time that wasn’t the designated time that Frank was supposed to get him up. Frank just tried his damn best to ignore it. Ignore his one track mind and ignore how his hand twitched every now and again. The angel on his shoulder was telling him to just leave it be and get some sleep. The devil on his other shoulder however, he was the one the telling Frank to go ahead and have some fun. Clearly he needed it and Gerard was sound asleep and would be none the wiser in the morning.

 

Frank ignored it all though, letting out a frustrated sigh, getting more and more frustrated as the time went by. It was nearly one am by the time he started to admit defeat. There was no way he was going to be able to sleep if he stayed like this all night. Something had to be done, but he had no idea what. As much as Frank knew he could easily solve the problem, he knew that he couldn’t solve it alone. But then there was the whole business of waking Gerard up which he didn’t know if that would have been a good idea or not. Frank ended up rolling onto his front, letting out an annoyed sigh when he practically face planted into his pillow. He knew that he couldn’t stay like this all night. That was what Frank kept thinking over and over, amongst all the dirty and lewd thoughts he had been having of his currently sleeping Master.

 

If only Gerard was awake, then there wouldn’t have been an issue because the problem would have been dealt with and the two of them could have gone back to sleep. It really could have been as simple as that, but for someone who claimed to be a light sleeper, Gerard really had gone and slept through the entirety of Frank's dilemma. He had not woken when Frank kept tossing and turning on his side of the bed and still he kept on sleeping as Frank cursed into his pillow, turning his head to the side, looking at his still snoozing Master.

 

This was so unfair. Out of all the times Frank could have gotten like this, his body had chosen to do it in the middle of the night. Not at bedtime. Not even at dinner time which fine, it would have been so inappropriate because Lindsey had sat with them, but at least Gerard had been awake then and he easily could have got the hint that Frank still had a problem that wouldn’t go away. Not now though as Frank tried to alleviate some of the built up tension in him. So wound up. Frank couldn’t remember a time before when he had gotten this wound up and turned on, but he was and there was very little he could do about it. Maybe eventually cry because god, this was unbearable for him. He needed something, anything, he needed Gerard right now, but he couldn’t and Frank hated to even consider doing it, but he needed friction. He needed something to take the edge off and rubbing against the bed really did help him out. It might not have been much, but it was enough for Frank right now. Cool off the burning knot inside of him, just slowly rolling his hips against the bed because not only did he not want to get himself off, he also didn’t want to wake Gerard up with his actions.

 

Or did he?  
  
Frank was getting beyond the point of being able to deal with this alone. He tried to get out of his mind for a second and try and imagine what Gerard would have expected him to do in a situation like this. This wasn’t exactly something that had been covered in any of his recent training. All Frank knew was that he couldn’t do anything to himself. No jerking off. He probably shouldn’t have been humping the bed, but he was aching and he needed just something to take the edge off.

 

Frank tried to wrack his brain, trying to come up with a solution for what to do, but he was coming up empty. The only obvious thing to do was to actually wake Gerard up, which he still thought was a risky thing to do, but now was not the time to be considering how risky something like this was. Would Gerard really expect him to stay like this all night? Unable to sleep? How would he be able to get up in the morning or even properly function at work? This had to be solved and seeing as Frank couldn’t do it alone, he knew he was going to have to do the one thing that would either result in him getting told off or his problem would finally be dealt with.

 

“Sir?” Frank said quietly, eyes focussed on Gerard, looking to see if there was any sign of movement from him. Nothing. Not even a change in the way he was quietly snoring away. He still lay there asleep. Frank groaned, rubbing his tired eyes before shifting closer to his Master, “Sir? Wake up.”

 

Gerard moved then, rubbing a hand over his face before it fell back down onto the pillow next to his head. Frank rolled his eyes. The light sleeper really wasn’t waking up when he was needed. Really needed as Frank sat up in bed, looking over Gerard, resting a hand on his shoulder before deciding to gently shake him, “Sir...you’ve got to wake up, please.”

 

Frank continued to shake his Masters shoulder until finally, there was movement. He saw the way Gerard’s brow furrowed before he started to slowly stir. Grumbling to himself, he twisted on the bed, coming to lie on his back before cracking an eye open, seeing Frank looking down at him in the dark.

 

“Frank,” Gerard spoke thickly, voice filled with sleep, “What time is it? It isn’t morning yet.”

 

“About one am, sir,” Frank told Gerard quickly, not really worrying about the time right now because he had his issue which really needed to be dealt with before it eventually did become morning, “Sorry- I didn’t want to wake you but...I felt like I didn’t have a choice.”

 

If Gerard had been more awake then he would have seen the look of sheer desperation in Frank's eyes, He would have heard the way that he spoke. How needy he sounded. Pleading without even asking for anything. Gerard didn’t move from where he lay on the bed, but if he had done then he also would have seen why Frank was waking him up in the middle of the night. The problem which really couldn’t wait until the morning.

 

“You need to sleep,” Gerard brushed Frank off almost instantly, going to roll back over to sleep, but Frank stopped him. Still holding onto his shoulder, Frank stopped him and got him to look back at him, “Frank, do not test my patience in the middle of the night. You have to be up early. You need to sleep, boy.”

 

“But I can’t sleep, sir,” Frank whined, “You don’t understand. I tried to sleep. I have tried everything that I could think of...sir-”

 

“Go back to sleep, boy.”

 

“But I need you.” Frank told him. He didn’t care if he had spoken without being given permission to. He didn’t care if Gerard was about to tell him off for still being awake. He had to get the reason why he was still awake across before Gerard just told him to go back to sleep and then that was that. Frank knew that he couldn’t go the whole night like this, so Gerard had to understand that he did the only thing that he could think of doing. Hopefully the right thing to do. He had no idea. Frank knew that he would find out soon enough though.

 

“You can need all you want, but it doesn’t mean that you are going to get,” Gerard told Frank with a frustrated sigh, wrapping his arm around Franks waist to pull him back down onto the bed, “Now go back to sleep, boy. You have to be up early.”

 

“But sir,” Frank fought with all that he could, even though Gerard was somewhat strong when it came to getting his sub to obey. Franks head hit the pillow and he could sense that he was just going to have to deal with his problem. Gerard clearly wasn’t going to and that was more than annoying, “You don’t understand-”  
  
“I do understand,” Gerard cut Frank off quickly, getting him to roll over so he could wrap an arm around Frank protectively, pulling him close and tight, “But you need to go to sleep. I don’t want to hear another word from you, boy.”   
  
Frank opened his mouth to speak, but the tone that Gerard spoke in, it made Frank silence himself, biting his tongue to stop himself from protesting. Clearly nothing was going to happen and there was nothing Frank could do to stop the rejection he had just received. It was nothing like he had gotten before. It wasn’t like it was Ryan brushing him off for the nth time. This was just a one off because it was Gerard that had said no.

 

A very tired Gerard who clearly hadn’t wanted to be woken up by his overly excitable sub who really had no control over when his body decided that it was time for him to have sex. Frank just remained silent, pouting, wishing that something could have been done to help him go to sleep. But no, nothing was going to happen and he was just going to have to lump it. Do his best to ignore the erection which clearly wasn’t going to go away anytime soon and to make it worse for him, Gerard was holding him so close. He had his arm wrapped tightly around him. The way he was pressed up against Frank’s back was going numbers on Frank head and he knew that there was no way in hell he was going to sleep when all he could picture was what Gerard could do to him if he just complied and actually listened to Franks desperate plea.

 

Frank lay there for a second, eyes still open, staring out at the room in front of him while he listened out to see if Gerard had gone back to sleep. He wasn’t snoring, but he wasn’t making a sound. Surely he had gone back to sleep and Frank knew that he should have been trying to go to sleep finally now, but he just couldn’t when his Masters crotch was pressed right up against his ass. The temptation to push back and see if he got a reaction from Gerard was oh so tempting, but he also knew that if he tried it, he could have ended up getting scolded for his insistent behaviour. He could have been told to get out of bed and go and sleep in his room, which Frank really didn’t want to do.

 

He liked sleeping in Gerard's arms and to be perfectly honest, he would rather fight to go to sleep rather than lose out on this right now. It was just going to be tricky, especially when his body was insistent on staying wide awake for the next god knows how many hours. Or at least until his dick realised that he wasn’t going to be getting any action anytime soon. But that could have taken hours. Frank knew that and he hated the idea of lying there not being able to do anything other than staying wide awake, going crazy over the fact that her could shut his damn mind and body up.

 

Frank was all but ready to give up and admit defeat. He was all but ready to just give in, screwing his eyes shut in a childish attempt to get himself to go to sleep, but he felt something. He felt a shift on the bed that got his attention. Although Gerard had told him to go back to sleep, he felt the way that Gerards grip tightened on his waist. He felt the way Gerard pulled him even closer in, even though it probably wasn’t possible for them to be any closer.

 

Then he felt the shift of hips behind him. The slow grind of Gerard's crotch against his ass which made Frank open his eyes back up. He didn’t dare look over his shoulder to see if Gerard was actually awake and doing this. He could have easily have passed out thanks to exhaustion and now he was just dreaming about his Master wanting to have sex with him. But it felt real and Frank groaned out quietly, pressing back against Gerard, hoping and praying to god that this was actually going to go somewhere and this wasn’t just Gerard winding him up, making it so much more difficult for Frank to even consider getting any sleep tonight.

 

“You really think I was going to leave you in this state, boy?” Gerard spoke out against the back of Frank, his breath tickling the back of his neck.

 

“...didn’t know, sir.” Frank stammered out, knowing that yes, he was still awake. This was not a dream because there was no way in hell his dick was going to let him go to sleep while he was this wound up. Gerard was really asking him and Frank honestly didn’t know if Gerard would ever do this to him. After what had happened in the office, Frank had no idea. Clearly he wasn’t though, or at least that was what Frank was hoping, especially seeing as he could feel Gerard rubbing against him, getting hard, making Frank stifle back a moan which was eager to come out.

 

“Well I think you have your answer now, don’t you?” Gerard said huskily into Franks ear, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand. Frank whimpered, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth before gasping out, rolling his ass against Gerard to meet up with his movements. He reached up to grab at the pillow his head was resting on, holding on while Gerard continued to grind against him, getting hard, making Frank keen because god, he needed Gerard about an hour ago probably. Needed him when the problem first arose. At least this was happening now, even if Frank was getting a little too eager, pushing back against his Master firmly, needing more than just a dry hump under the duvet in the middle of the night.

 

Gerard paused for a second to remove his pyjama bottoms. Frank did the same as best he could without moving from the position he was in. Quickly he discarded them onto the floor by the bed before Gerard was pulling him back in close. Skin on skin, Gerard's cock pressing against his ass, making Frank whimper and shudder, losing grip on what he was already struggling to hold onto.

 

Gerard held Frank close again, biting and sucking on his shoulder, making Frank involuntarily rock back against his Master in sheer desperation. Gerard’s hand rested below Franks navel, so close to where Frank only wished that he would reach and touch, but he didn’t want to get too close just yet. The fact that Gerard was actually going to have sex with him right now, in the middle of the night, that was what Frank wanted the most. Not some half asleep hand job while he was ground against. No, he needed Gerard in him. He needed everything right now, even if Gerard was taking his time, winding him up more, sleepily mouthing and licking at the skin on Franks shoulder.

 

Frank continued to press against Gerard when he heard the sound of a cap being snapped open. Not stopping because it felt too good to stop, even if what he wanted was still to come. Moments passed before Gerard shifted, moving away from Frank slightly to get access.

 

An _ah_ left Frank then when he felt fingers pressing at his hole, nudging in slowly, making him grip the pillow while Gerard started to prep him. The slick slide of Gerard's finger in him was good, but it wasn’t good enough. This would have been good about an hour ago when Frank first got turned on, but he was so wound up that this needed to move along quicker. He needed Gerard in him quicker. Not just his fingers as Frank pressed down against his Master’s hand, trying to signal for more, not actually saying that he wanted more because it should have been obvious. He had been the one rubbing off against the bed before he woke Gerard up. He had been the one desperate enough to wake his Master up just so he could finally get something before eventually and hopefully being able to go to sleep.

 

Gerard got the hint, pushing in a second before sinking a third in when he realised that Frank was not messing around with all of this. Frank hissed, fighting his natural reflex to pull off. The stretch stung, but felt good, all boiling away in the pit of his stomach. The coils of heat mingling in with the burn of three fingers being in him so quickly. The thing was, it still wasn’t enough. As good as it was, even when Gerard massaged his prostate, making Frank curse out, gripping the bedding tighter, Frank needed cock. He needed his Master pushing into him. He need the thick feel of Gerard filling him up again. As good as it was when Gerard fingered him, speeding up a little to gauge just how needy Frank was, he wanted to be fucked. He wanted sex and Frank wasn’t going to be able to sleep soundly until he got what he needed so badly. Needed his Master. Needed to feel used and blissed out before they both could finally go to sleep.

 

Gerard pulled Frank close again when he removed his fingers, holding the base of his cock while he lined up. Slowly he pushed in. Frank's mouth hung open. A silent whine left him as Gerard filled him. Every inch feeling beyond satisfying. His needy over-sexed desires were finally being dealt with and Frank felt like he could have wept. Just finally, again. He had been lying awake for too long, hoping that he wouldn’t have to go through the night like this. Thankfully he wasn’t going to now. Thankfully Gerard seemed to be more than up for it too, even if he still wasn’t fully awake. Definitely more awake than anything as he rocked against Frank, listening to the stuttering moans that left him between breaths.

 

Frank hoped and prayed that Gerard didn’t want him to be quiet. He knew that it was late, but this was far too good to be quiet over. The burning hot coils in the pit of his stomach were already beginning to knot up, growing ever tighter when Gerard threw the duvet from the two of them, moving his hand to Frank's leg, lifting it up to get a better angle. Pushing in deeper which had Frank cursing out, wanting to beg for more. He just knew not to.

 

Frank held back on wanting to ask for Gerard to go faster, harder, make him feel what had just been happening to him when he finally drifted off to sleep after they had finished. Gerard was keeping a slow rhythm going which, after how they had been together recently, was unusual. It was nice, but Frank knew that it wasn’t enough for him right now. He was so wound up he needed to feel that he was being fucked. Have his Master possess him and use him and have him calling out his name when he came finally. Yes, the angle was better and yes, Frank was moaning like the slut Gerard had called him several times, but there was something in him that wanted more. Maybe the slut in him was dying to take charge, but that was something that he knew he couldn’t do. Gerard would never have it, no matter how much Frank insisted that he needed it like this. His whole body screamed out for more, but Gerard still kept up the slow and torturous rhythm.

 

Frank knew that eventually he would get off from this, but he needed to come now. He needed to come about an hour ago and as much as he was enjoying how Gerard was pushing into him, biting and sucking on his shoulder, Frank couldn’t take it anymore. If he asked for more than Gerard was giving him then he knew what answer he would get. So Frank decided, knowing that what he was going to do was probably a very bad idea, but he didn’t care. He had gone past the point of caring. His need outweighed rational thought. His need outweighed everything that he should have considered and took into account. His need was taking control and Frank was more than happy for that to happen.

 

Frank moved away from Gerard, hating how he felt so empty when he was already close to teetering on the edge. Gerard just looked at him confused when Frank sat up on the bed, moving the duvet completely out of the way.

 

“What are you doing, boy?” Gerard questioned, watching Frank who looked so flustered in the dark right now. He went to sit up, but Frank pushed Gerard back down, hands on his shoulders, finally taking hold of the reins because if he didn’t then Frank swore that he was going to probably still be turned on when they were finished. He would come but would probably be more than ready for round two, which he knew that Gerard wouldn’t be up for.

 

Frank didn’t answer Gerard. He just straddled him, panting, his insides wound up so tight that Frank felt like he couldn’t take it anymore. Even after what he had got in trouble over in the office earlier on. After his Master had verbally chastised him over his selfish need to get himself off, Frank still took control, feeling deprived of what he craved.  

 

Frank took hold of Gerards cock, instantly lining up before sinking back down, choking out a obscene moan when Gerard filled him quickly. Quicker than before. More like what Frank wanted right now. The hard and fast fuck that would get him off and satiate his reawakened sex drive. The good thing was Gerard hadn’t pushed him off, yet. Maybe because he wasn’t fully awake he was letting the control slide a little. His hands held onto Frank's thighs, nails digging into skin, adding to the overwhelming salacity that had taken over Frank.

 

Taking hold of Gerard's thighs, Frank started to move, pleasure sizzling away inside of him as he rocked on his Master's cock, picking up a rhythm that was quicker than what he had had moments before. Moaning loudly, not caring if he was being louder than he should have been at this time of night, Frank continued to shift, holding on desperately as he sped up, chasing, using Gerard for his own wanton need. Riding him like some fuck boy who was pursuing his eager desires with some sordid sex toy. Gerard was real though and Frank was whimpering, shifting, hands moving to stabilize himself. Resting his hands on Gerard's chest, nails digging, scratching, the angle changed slightly and Frank mewled, toes curling under his Master’s legs where he had anchored himself down.

 

“Fuck,” Frank cried out as the sheer intensity of heat that was already boiling away under his skin started to grow more. He swore that he had been close before he had even woke Gerard up. So turned on and riled up, he knew that he wouldn’t last long and there was no way in hell he was going to let Gerard tell him to slow down or hold it back. He was coming and Frank knew that, even as Gerard got a firm grip on his ass, other hand tugging on Frank’s hair, pulling him down close roughly, shifting on the bed beneath his boy before he finally got a grip on who was in control in the middle of all of this.

 

A slew of curses and moans worthy of being dubbed pornographic left Frank when Gerard picked the pace up even more. Snapping his hips up against Frank, Gerard slammed into him repeatedly. The sound of skin on skin and the powerful feel of his Master giving him what he wanted had Frank begging for more. The vigorous onslaught had Frank’s body straining under the pressure of what was building inside of him. The impending orgasm loomed even closer now. His insides burnt white hot. Frank could barely hold on for much longer as his thighs started to shake. Trails of what felt like fire started to spread through his body from deep in the pit of his stomach. He was there and fucking finally. Moaning hard, cursing, whole body finally giving in and shaking when the force of his long awaited orgasm finally took over.

 

Gerard didn’t let up as Frank came, holding him still, continuing to thrust into him relentlessly. Frank could barely keep himself together, fighting for air while his finally appeased and overworked body continued to fire. The sensation overload was too much but Frank relished it. His mind whited out when sensitive nerves continued to work, clenching around Gerard, still revelling in the feeling of his Master being in him. Still fucking him. Making him feel so used that Frank tried to push back. Tried to match up with Gerard's thrusts. Please his Master now that he had finally got what he wanted so badly.

 

Frank groaned close to his Master's ear when he felt the sharp thrusts growing hasty. Savouring the fact that Gerard was there, pursuing his own release. Hips stuttered for a moment until Gerard pushed in once more, stilling, grunting and panting through his orgasm. Frank clenched around his Master, rolling his hips, pushing him through it, satisfaction coursing through him not just because of the fact that he came, but because he had hopefully pleased his Master.

 

The room fell quiet apart from Gerard's laboured breaths and Frank's strained whimper when he shifted off his Master. Feeling sore and blissfully used, Frank flopped down onto the bed face first, pushing pillow out of his face before turning to look at Gerard, watching him brush hair away from his brow.

 

“Well that was rather unexpected,” Gerard commented, turning to look at Frank in the dark, seeing the lazy and tired smile that plastered his face now that he had finally got what he had been needing since they had been together in the office, “I see my words about your self-seeking disposition fell on deaf ears.”

 

Frank shrunk back immediately, guilt sinking in because he knew what he had done. He knew what he had wanted to do even when he was busy working away next to Derek earlier in the office, trying his best to ignore the boner that wouldn't go away. The erection that had him desk bound for most of the day, practically salivating at the idea of finally getting to have more sex. Only it had taken all day and most of the evening to get to this point. Frank felt bad, even though his whole body felt good. Loosened up, every once taut muscle that strained was now relaxed, tired, body finally beginning to think about succumbing to the one thing that he should have been doing before he woke his Master up, “Sorry, sir. I- I don't know what came over me.”

 

“I do,” Gerard snorted, rolling onto his side to face Frank, “I deprived you of the one thing you thought I was going to give you in the office. I took away your climax to teach you a lesson, boy. A lesson which I don't think you have fully grasped yet.”

 

Frank felt so bad now, even though he felt good. The still simmering away after effects of the sex in his gut had Frank glowing. Body still thrumming, ass comfortably sore, even though the sinking feeling of Gerard's disappointment started to fill Frank's now worrying mind.

 

“But,” Gerard added. Frank looked at him, confused. Buts were never good. Buts usually meant that there was something foreshadowing or something bad lurking around the corner. Frank could just imagine that he was going to get punished for his unusual dominant behaviour, “What you did was right. You were a good boy.”

 

Frank blinked at his Master, mouth hanging open, half expecting to be forcibly removed from the bed because of how he had used Gerard for his own pleasure. Half expecting to be caged because of what he had done. Gerard however just looked at him, not looking cross at all, confusing Frank to the point he didn't know what to say to the unexpected praise.

 

“Do I get a thank you?” Gerard questioned, wondering where Frank’s manners had disappeared to.

 

“Thank you?” Frank stammered out cautiously, trying to figure out if there was some hidden meaning or if Gerard was being cryptic on purpose to throw him off guard. Like some sort of training that he should have known about. He hoped he hadn’t forgotten anything because he knew how Gerard would have been if something important slipped from his mind.

 

“Don’t sound so perturbed, boy,” Gerard reassured him, “You did what you wanted and you told me when you needed your Master. You were obedient, boy.”

 

“Okay,” Frank smiled, relief washing over him because thank god, he wasn’t about to get in trouble or thrown out of bed. Gerard was okay, be it still tired and really looking like he was about to fall back asleep, but at least he wasn’t berating him for his actions. He had actually called Frank a good boy and that had Frank feeling more than pleased with the praise that rang out in his head, “Thank you, sir.”  


“Be that as it may,” Gerard cut in, looking over that Frank who really did look so smug right now as he pulled the duvet back over him and his Master, “It doesn’t mean that you can just roll me over and hump me anytime you want, boy. I’m still in charge here.”

 

Frank nodded, fighting back the immediate urge to giggle. Out of all the fancy and eloquent words that Gerard said on a daily basis, he had to go and say hump. He had to lower his vocabulary to the point that Frank felt like a kid hearing some rude word for the first time. Hiding his face against the duvet while he fought back the laugh, Gerard looked over him, raising an eyebrow at his subs sudden lack of control. A small laugh muffled under the duvet and Gerard just shook his head.

 

“Are you laughing because I said hump, boy?” Gerard asked, prising the duvet away from Frank, watching him roll his lips into his mouth, calming himself down as best he could.

 

“Sorry, sir.” Frank apologised, “Not exactly a word I expected to be in your vocabulary.”

 

“You did what you did, boy. You humped me,” Gerard said outright. Frank held back on the laugh this time though. He couldn’t bring himself to let the juvenile humour get to him when Gerard was watching over him, wrapping an arm around him before pulling him close under the duvet, swatting at Frank’s head when he went to chuckle again over his use of words, “No more of that for tonight though. You need to sleep, boy. Don’t forget your six o clock start.”

 

“Yes, sir.” Frank answered contently, smiling as Gerard pressed himself against his back, more than happy to finally drift off to sleep now that he had finally got what he wanted.


	43. Chapter 40: Have Fun Thinking About Your Bladder, Frank

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay on this chapter. My co writer started a new job and I've been working and stuff, but I hope this chapter makes up for it.
> 
> Appropriate tags being added as we go. Hope you continue to enjoy as we start to get closer to the end of the first book.
> 
> Few more chapters to go before we crack on with the second book.
> 
> Any errors, apologies, but we think we got them all :)

Chapter 40

 

The blaring alarm woke Frank, the pleasant sounding melody from the alarm clock that he had chosen previously was now rousing him somewhat from his heavy sex-induced sleep. He opened a bleary eye and looked at the shockingly minuscule numbers on the red face, grimacing. He reached up, his arm still heavy and dead with sleep, and shut the alarm off, the other hand scratching his head as he grabbed the blanket around his shoulders.

 

“Five minutes…” Frank muttered to himself as he closed his eyes and rolled over, his arm wrapping around Gerard’s waist.

 

Although that wasn’t the case in point for the young submissive as he drifted off into the seductive sleep that was whispering his name. 

 

He frowned to himself, slowly and subconsciously coming to the realisation that the amount of sleep that he was getting was suspiciously long for five minutes. He roused himself fully, groaning at the bright light hitting the inner of his eyelids, glowing red in his view. And then he realised his mistake and he turned, heart sinking as the alarm clock read almost half eleven in the morning. 

 

“Shit.” Frank gasped and turned over, yelping in fright when he saw Gerard standing over him at the side of the bed, hands in his pockets and the worst look of disapproval plastered to every pore and follicle.

 

“Shit indeed, boy.” Gerard’s voice was cold and clipped and Frank grimaced yet again, wishing that Gerard was rather shouting at him than speaking in such an icy calm tone.

 

“Sir, I-”

 

“Did the alarm go off?” Gerard interrupted Frank’s sad attempt at apologising, raising a hand at him to silence.

 

“Well-”

 

“Did it or did it not go off, Frank?”

 

“It… It did…” Frank whispered softly and looked away as he sat up slowly, his cheeks flushing bright red.

 

“And what did you do?”

 

“I- I thought that I snoozed it for five minutes but yours is different to mine and-”

 

“I didn’t ask for excuses,” Gerard snapped harshly, “I asked a simple yes or no question.”

 

“It went off, sir.” Frank looked down bashfully.

“I see.” Gerard replied, “Why did you not get up?”

 

“I- I was tired and- and I didn’t think five minutes would hurt anyone.” Frank offered up with a small raise of his shoulders as Gerard looked down at him with a scowl.

 

“Well here we are,” He looked at his watch, “Six hours later. And on your first day you’ve already proven to me that you can’t even do the simplest task for me. An important task. What if I had an early meeting? What if I had an appointment that I could not reschedule? What if Derek was off and everyone was relying on me to open the office today, Frank? Did you consider any of these things when you decided to disobey me and hit that button on the alarm? Nowhere in your rituals does it say that you can have a five minute snooze. If you so badly wanted one then you should have set the alarm earlier.”

 

“Oh…” Frank looked down at his lap as Gerard straightened his bright cobalt blue blazer and turned on his heel.

 

“Get up.” He ordered as he grabbed Frank by the hair and forcibly pulled him out of bed. The submissive let out a yelp of pain in protest as he was prised from the mattress and sheets. Gerard walked to the door and Frank reached towards his boxers laying discarded from the night before, “I didn’t say get dressed.”

 

“Bu- Pardon?” Frank panted softly, looking up at Gerard from an awkward angle, his hair still firmly clasped in Gerard’s fingers, the pain digging sharply into his skull.

 

“You are being punished, boy.” Gerard merely stated as he tugged at Frank’s locks, “You’re lucky I have nowhere to be until later and that I’ve called you in sick to Derek.”

 

Frank didn’t know how to reply as Gerard walked out of their bedroom and down the hallway. Frank knew exactly where they were going as Gerard tugged on his hair slightly harder to pull him along. Frank stumbled over his own feet as Gerard’s grip made him speed up whether he wanted to or not. 

 

Gerard took Frank’s wrist in his hand and put it on the doorknob, using his submissive’s hand to open the door before he pushed Frank into their playroom. Frank let out a yelp as he staggered into the room, hearing Gerard slam the door behind him. He flinched at the loud sound, whimpering. He knew Gerard was angry but he knew he wouldn’t outwardly lash out, suspecting the door-slam to be a scare tactic… One that worked for sure.

 

Gerard slowly walked over to where Frank was standing, the latter looking at his Master who had his hand to his side, his index and middle finger pointed to the ground. Frank swallowed and nodded, dropping down onto his knees with his hands placed gently on his kneecaps and his head down. 

 

“I considered various punishments for you and your first serious indiscretion, Frank.” Gerard began as his shined leather boots came into Frank’s view, stopping in front of the kneeling submissive on the wooden floor, “I considered putting you over my knee, I considered a solid caning, a stern lecturing… But no, none of those would suffice.”

 

Frank swallowed hard at the idea and looked down at Gerard’s shoes again, whimpering at the silence between them that was more than screaming at him, making his heart beat faster and his hands want to shake.

 

Gerard disappeared from view and Frank could see him walking over to the cabinet nearby, grabbing something that Frank couldn’t see. Gerard walked across the room and out of Frank’s periphery, the rattling clink of chains tinkled menacingly as Gerard went through them to get what he wanted.

 

He appeared in front of Frank again and grabbed him by the jaw, forcing his mouth open. They looked at each other for a second when Gerard spoke, “How’s your nose?”

 

“My-?”

 

“Not blocked or stuffy?” Gerard tilted his head to the side as Frank took an experimental sniff in, noting his nostrils both perfectly clear, “Good.”

 

Frank was about to ask when his jaw was prised open a second time and a bright red ball stuffed into it behind his teeth. He let out a sharp protesting groan as Gerard turned Frank’s head and fastened the straps of the gag behind his head. Frank noted it wasn’t the holed whiffle gag he had gotten the first time and it was the original ball gag that he had been so dreading. 

 

Frank shuddered as his jaw was let go of, the ache remaining as his mouth stayed open despite his best wishes.

 

“Arms up above your head for me.” Gerard ordered and Frank obeyed, lifting his arms up above his head as high as he could, stifling a sleepy yawn that left his throat. Frank continued to keep his gaze down as Gerard took his wrist in his hand and fastened a cuff around it before doing the same with the other, “Keep them up.”

 

Frank kept his bound hands in the air above him as Gerard walked off again, this time he heard clinking and a small whirring sound around him. He frowned, wanting so badly to look at what Gerard was about to do to him when Gerard appeared, tugging on the chain of Frank’s leather cuffs, hooking something to it. 

 

“Now boy,” Gerard walked off, “When I say I want you up… I want you up. And since this seems to be such a gruelling task for you, boy, i figured I’ll make you stand whether you like it or not.”

 

Frank looked up in confusion to see Gerard leaning against the wall next to what looked like a powerbox. He merely flipped a switch and Frank’s arms lifted up. He looked up in surprise to see his tight cuffs attached to a chain on a roller that seemed to be fastened to the ceiling. The chain was slowly winding up back onto its roller and Frank let out a protest at the pulling in his shoulder sockets.

 

“You’ll have to get up sooner or later, boy. That chain can hold all of your weight threefold.” Gerard commented as Frank straightened up on his knees, his back completely straight as he tried to compensate for the stretch of his limbs. 

 

Frank was lifted off of his aching knees, his legs bent as he tried to stand up, thighs shaking. He swallowed the pooling spit in his mouth as the chain sped up and pulled him up into a standing position, his arms still taut and pointed to the ceiling above his head, aching wrists and biceps were in the forefront of his mind as he squeezed his eyes shut.

 

“And now you stand until I let you down. Do you think you’ll be able to obey this simple order or not, dog?” Gerard stepped up to his submissive who was openly and ashamedly drooling. Frank nodded then, whimpering as he readjusted his weight on his feet, “I’m going to work.”

 

Frank’s eyes widened then, realising that Gerard was indeed serious about leaving him there for most of the rest of the day.

 

“Maybe now you’ll take my orders seriously, Frank. When I say something, you do it. On my time, not yours. Or you will be punished and reprimanded. Do you understand?”

 

“Ye-” Was all Frank managed to get out as he drooled on his own foot.

 

“Do you understand why you’re being punished?” Gerard asked, hands clasped behind his back. Frank looked at him and nodded solemnly, “Are you sure?”

 

“Ye-” Frank tried again, nodding still.

 

“And you understand that you deserve this punishment for not obeying my order for you, boy?” Gerard added and looked his submissive over, the latter nodding again as the drool ran down his neck, “Good.”

 

Frank looked at Gerard as he pulled a small side table into view in front of Frank and pulled a small anologue clock out of his pocket, setting it on the table, “There. Something for you to look at while I’m gone. You spent six hours asleep and now you’ll spend six hours like this.”

 

Frank watched with wide eyes as Gerard turned on his heel and walked to the door, throwing a glance over his shoulder as he opened the threshold and eyed his submissive.

 

“Have fun thinking about your bladder, Frank.” Was all he left his submissive with before he walked out and closed the door, bathing Frank in the red and pale luminescent glow of the lights around him. Frank then realised he hadn’t gone to pee in the morning like he always did, he realised his bladder was already in protest and no likely Gerard wouldn’t return in time to save him.

 

Frank felt like he was about to cry, ashamed of himself for fucking up so badly. He didn’t want to have disappointed Gerard, he wanted to get up and start the day and make his Master proud. It was a natural instinct for him to snooze the alarm, having done it every day to give himself those five extra minutes that subconsciously made a difference to his sleep and his general daily outlook. 

 

Needless to say Frank was now up whether he wanted to or not, his body standing somewhat comfortably in the middle of the room despite the nagging infirmity in his arms and the remonstrate discomfort in his bladder.

 

Frank adjusted on his feet and looked at the clock as five minutes had past. He tried to stifle another yawn behind the gag, drooling even more from the pinched sides of his mouth as he hung his head down and closed his eyes.

 

He so badly wanted to sleep, his lids heavy and body still like lead and he knew that if he found the right position to relax in that he probably could catch a nap despite still being forcibly stood in the middle of the room. The only issue he had was the still ever-present complaint of his bladder that was stopping him from reaching peak-sleep comfort levels. 

 

Frank wasn’t about to piss himself no, he wouldn’t stoop as low as peeing on his own feet and on Gerard’s floor. He couldn’t bring himself to do it even if he knew that he would be able to sleep afterwards. He remained resilient though, moving his weight from left to right foot, resting his head on his lifted arm. He glanced at the clock a second time to see only another five minutes having passed.

 

He closed his eyes, frowning as he tried to push passed every sinew of uncomfortable muscle pull. It was no use, he knew he wasn’t able to sleep now or even hit that sweet spot between slumber and consciousness.

 

Almost three hours later and Frank was still where he had been left, only now he was in agony, his legs had all but given in this time and he was hanging from the ceiling by his arms, his knees bent as though he were about to fall onto them but he was just too high off of the ground to achieve the sweet bliss of folding his legs completely. His head hung on his shoulders, his hands numb from the pins and needles.

 

He had surrendered to his fate two hours ago after his legs had given in from being so stagnant for so long. Perhaps if he had done this before and had stood for so long he would have lasted longer but no, Frank had never had to or needed to stand completely still and solid for longer than a few minutes, even in a queue there was movement. Here, however, he found it so difficult. He had thought of moving his legs about to avoid the stiffness in his joints but it only hurt his arms and his wrists even more than before.

 

He let out a small sob, groaning to himself as a wash of relief hit his body and a slow warmth. And then he realised what was happening whether he liked it or not, his body hadn’t been able to handle the pressure and agony of being so full of liquid that it had burst without warning. Frank didn’t even look down as his body relieved itself, actual pee splashing his feet. Frank couldn’t deny how much better his body felt, he couldn’t deny that he instantly felt so much more comfortable despite the fact that he currently had body-warm urine in a pool around his feet.

 

And yet he still wouldn’t have safe-signalled if Gerard was here and he knew it was because he deserved the punishment. He had  fucked up and he knew it, he had fucked up and with Gerard’s career even if it was only one morning. And the only morning, Frank internally promised himself as he curled his toes, resting his head on his arm.

 

Frank heard soft footsteps outside of the door and he whimpered, frowning as he looked at the clock in front of him, realising that if it were his Master then he were almost three hours early. 

 

The door opened and Frank glanced up to see his Master leaning in the doorway, eyes trained on him. Gerard walked in to the room after closing the door behind him, hands behind his back as he scrutinised.

 

“Look at you, boy.” Gerard’s voice was a break in the loud and shame-filled silence that was around Frank for so long, “Disgusting.” 

 

Frank winced at the last word that slipped from Gerard’s mouth and looked down again, looking at Gerard’s shoes. 

 

“You peed on my floor, boy. Have you no self control?” Gerard stepped back slightly, “Lucky I don’t rub your face in it like a filthy dog.”

 

Frank whimpered around the gag in his mouth, noting that the sound made his throat ache from the lack of fluid in his body. Gerard walked away from his submissive, idly waltzing somewhere that Frank didn’t bother looking at. 

 

There was a small clinking sound above Frank before he went crashing to the ground, landing on his knees on the hardwood floor before he fell on his chest and his face. Frank felt the urine on the floor underneath his thighs and he whined, frowning as Gerard crouched down beside him.

 

Frank felt the tight leather straps of the gag around his head finally give way and he spat out the gag, his jaw protesting at the movement. The corners of his lips stinging and most likely torn even just a fraction. Frank ran the ball of his piercing against his teeth slowly, trying to assimilate and distract from the ache in his shoulders as his arms lay stretched out in front of him.

 

Gerard pulled the chain and disconnected it from Frank’s cuffs, the chain shooting back up into it’s roller louder than Frank had wished for. He frowned at the sound, hearing the louder thuds of Gerard’s shoes on the floor coming towards him. 

 

“Up, boy.” Gerard muttered as he cleared his throat. Frank shifted on the floor, groaning as he cured his knees in towards his body and sat up, his spine clicking in more than one place. He lay his hands on his wet thighs and took in a breath of relief as the blood filled his fingertips, “Good. Have you learnt your lesson?”

 

“Y- Yes, sir.” Frank croaked, wincing at his dry and cracking throat.

 

“You understand what you did wrong?” Gerard put his hands in his pockets.

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

“And you understand why I did this to you?”

 

“I misbehaved and…” Frank swallowed, “And I didn’t listen to you.”

 

“Exactly. Will you do it again?” Gerard tilted his head to the side.

 

“No, sir.” Frank looked up earnestly, “Never again. I- I don’t want to upset you, Master.”

 

“I would think not.” Gerard shifted his weight to the other foot, “And I did shorten your punishment in half considering it’s your first real misjudgement.”

 

“Thank you, Master.” Frank whispered, sniffing softly.

 

“You’re sorry, boy?”

 

“Yes, sir.” Frank bit his lip when Gerard stepped closer.

 

“Go on.” Gerard’s foot slid forward, “Say you’re sorry.”

 

Frank looked down at Gerard’s shoe and up at his Master, his hands shaking as he clenched them and bent down, kissing Gerard’s shoe for a prolonged second. He straightened up again with the taste of leather on his lips, tingling slightly and adding to every small sensation in his body.

 

“Good boy.” Gerard muttered, looking at Frank, “Let’s get you cleaned up and fed.”

  
Frank looked at his Master gratefully as Gerard helped him up onto his feet when they paused, “Sir?”

 

“Yes, boy?”

 

“What about…” Frank glanced at the floor as the colour flooded his cheeks, “I’m so sorry.”

 

“You can clean it once you’ve gotten your strength back after some food.” Gerard shrugged before he reached over and grabbed a towel, throwing it on the floor as he walked with Frank to the door, opening it before he stopped.

 

Frank watched as Gerard unfastened his cuffs, freeing his wrists- bruised and chafed wrists- from their leather cuffs. Gerard brought one of Frank’s wrists up, kissing it softly before he looked the marks over slowly.

 

“We’ll get ice and gel on this as well, boy. I’ll look after you. But don’t think you’re out of the dogbox yet. You still have to prove yourself worthy to me again, Frank.”

 

“Yes, sir. I understand.” 


	44. Chapter 41: A Day For Him To Prove Himself To His Master

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning. How are we all today? Sorry this took took a little longer than planned. Lots going on but now you can have this before I head off to celebrate my father in laws 73rd birthday
> 
> I still can't believe how close we are to the end of the first book. It's like two chapters away and I am so excited for what Parker is writing and what I'm about to be writing and then what is to come afterwards in the second book. I really hope you guys still enjoy it and continue to read and vote and comment went into the second book. Got to finish this book first but we are very excited.
> 
> Any errors, apologies, but we think we got them all :)

Frank winced as Gerard took care of him. Frank felt much better with a full stomach and was finally dressed, sitting cross legged on his Master's bed, but the aftercare wasn't over yet. Gerard took hold of his wrist gently, avoiding the angry red marks and bruises. Frank winced when he felt the instant sting of aloe vera gel being rubbed on his wrist before it cooled. Frank got over the initial shock and relaxed into it, watching Gerard work, watching how his Master cared after what he had just Frank through.

  
"Feeling better?" Gerard asked, looking up at Frank who was still watching him tend to his sore and red wrists.   
  
Frank only nodded, mind filling with curiosity which he didn't know if he wanted to consider yet. It silenced him, making him think more than was probably needed now. The ordeal was over and Frank knew that. He knew not to make the same mistake twice, but he still thought, still wondered. The punishment fit the crime, but Frank still considered and wondered what would have happened if partway through the punishment he realised that he couldn't do this and he needed it to stop instantly.   
  
Gerard had gone to work, or at least that was what Frank was lead to believe. It was what his Master had told him he was doing so of course Frank worried if the worst had happened. He knew that he wouldn't signal, but still, even though he kept his mouth shut about it, his mind raced about what would have happened if he needed it to stop.   
  
"You look troubled, boy," Gerard commented, noticing the frown on Frank's brow. Frank snapped out of his long stare, looking up at his Master, seeing the look of concern that sat on his face. Frank didn't want to bring something up that Gerard probably had completely under control, but he couldn't help it when he wondered what would happen if it wasn't under control.   
  
Frank trusted Gerard implicitly. He was his Master and he trusted him with his life, but the niggling curious doubt still sat there in the front of Frank's skull and he couldn't deny that it was getting to him. Bothering him slightly.   
  
Not that he would voice his concern. He felt stupid for worrying, but he didn't all at the same time. He knew that he would have felt silly if he asked what would happen if he couldn't do something and Gerard wasn't there to hear or see him signal that enough was enough. Gerard knew what he was doing, but then again, Frank also knew just how new to this he was so of course he felt like he needed some form of comfort over what was taking over his thoughts.   
  
"Frank," Gerard sighed, capping the gel, setting it down on the bedside table before handing Frank an ice pack, pressing it on his wrists before getting him to hold it in place, "I know the look of concern on a sub’s face. It's what I'm supposed to spot. Tell tale signs that tell me that something is wrong."   
  
"I'm fine, sir." Frank insisted, not wanting to worry Gerard over something that he guessed was more than definitely something that his Master had control of.   
  
"Boy," Gerards tone lowered. He looked Frank straight in the eyes, making him shiver at the cold yet concerned stare. Frank knew that he couldn't hide it. Gerard was onto him, "If you don't tell me what is wrong then am I going to have to force it from you?"   
  
"I don't want to come across as stupid…" Frank admitted, lowering his gaze from Gerard's because he felt somewhat ashamed. Like he was letting his Master down for doubting his methods, "I'm still so new to this and just… I thought of something and…sir?"   
  
"Yes, Frank?" Gerard asked, sensing the nervousness in Frank, "You can say anything to me and I won't think of it as stupid. I know you are new to this lifestyle and I expect you to ask questions. How will you learn if you don't ask?"   
  
Frank nodded at that. Gerard did have a point.   
  
"I just wondered…" Frank started, taking a shaky breath before he adjusted the ice pack on his wrist, getting some relief from the burning cold on his left wrist before giving his right wrist some attention, "What would have happened if I couldn't do it, sir?"   
  
"How do you mean?"   
  
"What if I signalled that I couldn't do it?" Frank blurted out the question before he could bottle it back up again and come up with something else that he could have asked without worrying over, "What if I signalled while you were at work…if you were at work. Were you actually at work, sir?"   
  
"I was at work, I wasn't lying there," Gerard said honestly, making Frank swallow and look down at the warming ice pack on his wrist, "If Lindsey could have dealt with the work alone today then I would have stayed at home. Still told you that I was going into work, but I would have kept an eye on you, boy."   
  
"So," Frank stammered, now knowing the truth that Gerard had actually left him hanging there. He had known already, but the confirmation sent a shiver down his spine, "If I'd have signalled while you were at work, how would you have known?"   
  
"Trust your Master, boy," Gerard spoken warmly, reassuringly with a small knowing smile on his face, "I had my eyes on you the whole time."   
  
"H- How?" Frank frowned, not understanding how Gerard could have kept an eye on him while he was in the office.   
  
"I have cameras in the room for such scenes where I have to leave you alone," Gerard admitted, shifting on the bed to get more comfortable, "Do you really think that I would truly leave you alone, boy?"   
  
For a split second Frank considered it, but he shook his head, knowing full well that he trusted Gerard with all of this. If he hadn't done then his signature wouldn't have been sat on the contract.   
  
"Whatever the play…or punishment," Gerard said pointedly, making Frank look back down as he felt shame again over what he had done, "If you are out of my sight, you are still one hundred percent safe. If anything were to turn sour, it would stop instantly."   
  
"But-" Frank stopped himself, feeling like he was speaking out of turn. Gerard just waved a hand at him, letting him continue, "So, if you could see me signal that I wanted down and I wanted it to stop, how would you have stopped it from in the office? Say I started to have a panic attack and you were fifteen minutes away…what would have happened then?"   
  
"In the worst case scenario, being with you or away from you, I would stop it," Gerard reassured him again, "If you did need to get down and I wasn't there, be it in the office, I would have been able to get you down from my phone."   
  
"Wh-" Frank stopped himself. What Gerard said sounded like some sort of technological mind fuck for a second. He tried to wrap his head around it, but he couldn't. Not getting how Gerard could have controlled him from his phone while being oh so far away from him.   
  
"Don't look so confused, boy," Gerard chuckled, "I assumed that you would understand that, being younger than myself. More technologically educated than me."   
  
"Half the time I could barely get the tv to record shit when I wanted it to," Frank admitted with a smirk, "I'm not very good with technology."   
  
"Well, be that as it may, if I needed to release you, it would only have been a phone call away," Gerard continued, "There is a remote, but if I'm too far away for it to work then I merely have to make a quick call and I activate the release mechanism."

 

“I guess that is comforting,” Frank nodded, feeling the doubt start to fade away. He should have known that Gerard knew what he was doing, whether he was there or not. Frank should have known that his Master would have taken care of him no matter what the situation, but being so new to it, he needed the confirmation.

 

“As comforting as it should be, you do know that what happened to you was still a punishment. It was warranted, whether you could do it or not,” Gerard added, “I’m impressed that you did it. The first proper punishment can be rather daunting. Did you even consider signalling at any point?”   
  
Frank sat still for a second before shaking his head at his Master. Frank knew that he had done wrong. He deserved the punishment. It fitted and Frank didn’t want to come across as weak when he was so new to all of this.

 

“As proud as I am of that,” Gerard cleared his throat, getting up from the bed and walking towards the bedroom door. He snapped his fingers before lifting up his index finger, pointing it down. Frank racked his brain for a split second before he remembered the signal, scrambling off the bed to join Gerard. Standing obediently to the right with his head bowed down, Frank followed when Gerard opened the bedroom door and walked out, “You still disappointed me with your lack of urgency this morning. As of that, tonight and for however long I see fit, you will be sleeping in your room, boy. Do you understand?”   
  
Frank fought back his initial reaction to protest. He hated sleeping alone, but he also knew that he had done wrong. He knew that he had his room for occasions like this, so Frank just nodded, saying ‘yes, sir’ before he continued to follow his Master.

 

~

 

The alarm went off and this time Frank knew not to hit the snooze button. His body immediately screamed for him to get up when the sound of the shrill noise coming from his alarm pierced through his slumber. Frank's eyes opened when his hand went searching, fumbling to find the device that had signalled for him to get up. Sitting up in bed, Frank shut off the alarm, rubbing his hands over his face, fingers pressing against his still tired eyes. God he was so tired, but this was the price he had to pay for waking up so late yesterday.

 

That coupled with the fact that he was in his room. Not sharing the bed with his Master. Frank sighed to himself, waking up alone, looking at the cream walls vacantly for a second before he knew that he couldn’t waste any time this morning. He had to make up for his mistake and really, Frank did not want to be getting Gerard cross again. Not for the second day in a row.

 

No, this morning had to go perfectly and Frank knew that as he climbed out of bed, standing up, stretching before going over to his closet, grabbing some shorts and a t-shirt to throw on.

 

Yesterday’s punishment was still fresh in Frank's mind. The arduous and relentless torture he had withstood. Had deserved. Frank, of course, hadn’t meant to have slept in so late, but that was done now and today was another day. A day for him to prove himself to his Master that it wasn’t going to happen again. Of course it wouldn’t happen again, especially seeing as Gerard then decided to move forward the day when he was going to be properly starting his rituals. 

 

No more getting into it. He probably would have got another half an hour in bed this morning if he hadn’t woken up so late yesterday, but this was pay back and this was something that Frank knew that he just had to do. He had to be up at five fifteen and he had to be downstairs as soon as possible because there was no way in hell he was going to run late for waking Gerard up.

 

No one else was awake when Frank got downstairs. The house was in darkness as he padded over to the kitchen, turning on the overhead light which made him wince. His eyes were still far too tired to be dealing with this time of the morning right now, but he had to ask he checked the time on his phone. It was barely five thirty yet. Frank knew that he was ahead of schedule and he was glad of that. He didn’t have to rush around at all as he made his way over to the fridge, pulling the oversized door open to look in and see what he was going to have before breakfast.

 

There was far too much to choose from, but Frank grabbed at one of the sealed smoothie bottles, bumping the fridge door shut with his hip before leaning against it, taking a sip out of the bottle. The green concoction didn’t entirely look appetising, but Frank was thirsty and he downed half of the drink on no time at all, hoping not to waste any precious time as he went. He knew that he didn’t have long until he was waking Gerard up. Roughly twenty minutes. It seemed like a long time as Frank stood in the kitchen, drinking more of the surprisingly alright smoothie, but even he knew that he could easily lose track and then there he would be, running late again. Nothing like yesterday, but still, Frank didn’t even want to be a minute late. He didn’t want to disappoint his Master for the second day in a row, so Frank didn’t waste any time as he finished the smoothie. Still with plenty of time to go. Fifteen minutes. The obvious thing to do would be to hang around and wait until he was to go upstairs and wake Gerard, but Frank didn’t want to take any risks. He didn’t want to suddenly lose twenty minutes and then there he was, running late yet again. Making Gerard angry yet again. Having to probably go through what he went through yesterday yet again.

 

The thought of that happening again made Frank shudder. There was no way in hell he was going through that again. It was safe to say that now he knew the side of Gerard that he didn’t want to meet. The one side that he really didn’t want to rile up, so Frank walked away from the fridge, dumping the now empty bottle in the bin, making his way upstairs early because that was the safest thing for him to do at the moment. That was what he felt he should do because no, he was not going to wake Gerard up late. He was going to be on time and hopefully his Master would be pleased with his punctuality again.

 

The thing with being early for his next thing to do, Frank found himself pacing the hallway. He couldn’t just sit still and wait. He found himself fidgeting and worrying that he might end up being late. What if he sat down and ended up falling back asleep? He wasn’t immediately thinking that he would do that the moment that he sat down to wait, but he didn’t want to risk it. He was still pretty tired so dozing back off was something that he worried about doing. Pacing the hall quietly was something that Frank couldn’t stop himself from doing because it seemed like the best thing to do. 

 

In his head he was counting down the minutes, checking the time regularly to see it slowly go by. This felt like the longest time he had ever had to wait to do something, but eventually it was five forty two. He had three minutes to go and Frank knew that he was going to do it. He was actually going to get his Master up on time this morning and Frank was fucking relieved about that. Counting down the seconds in his head, Frank waited by the bedroom door, hand holding onto the door handle. The wait was agonizing because Frank just wanted to walk in and wake Gerard up and have it done, but he guessed that if he woke him up early, be it only a few minutes early, Gerard would probably not be happy with that. He would probably be annoyed at being woken up early and Frank knew that he was beginning to over worry about this when he only had a minute to go. Tapping his heel against the carpet nervously, Frank gripped the door handle tighter. So nearly there, Frank knew it and finally relief washed over him as the time ticked over and it hit five forty five. Fucking finally, Frank thought as he quietly turned the handle, opening the door before stepping into the darkened bedroom.

 

Waking up Gerard went a lot better than Frank had envisaged. Still feeling bad about running late yesterday, he made sure to be quick and light on his feet when walking over to the bed, not wasting any time before Frank had a hand on Gerard's shoulder, gently shaking him, greeting his bleary eyed Master with a smile and a good morning when he was roused from his slumber.

 

Gerard had been impressed by the fact that Frank actually did it this morning. Glancing over at his clock once sat up in bed, he saw that Frank had actually got his act together and had actually done what he was supposed to do. Gerard just didn’t show that he was impressed, more carried on like he would have done if Frank did this on a regular basis. Like this had been going on for a few months or so. Gerard threw the duvet off him before climbing out of bed, heading over to his drawers to retrieve clothes while Frank stood near the bottom of the bed, his hands held behind his back while he looked down, assuming the stance that he did while he was waiting.

 

“You need to get dressed for the next activity in your rituals,” Gerard spoke casually while pulling a t-shirt from one of his drawers, “You do remember what is next for you to do, don’t you, boy?”   
  
Frank nodded while his insides twisted unhappily. Exercise was something they had touched upon in the past week, but only in conversation. Now that his rituals were fully underway, Frank knew that there was no way he was going to get out of this. As much as he hated the idea of exercising, he knew that he had to do it. It was the one thing that was going to help him cope with what Gerard put him through. Hopefully not what he did to him yesterday again. Frank knew that he could live without that happening again for as long as humanly possible.

 

But again, he knew that this was something that he was going to have to do. No getting out of it, so Frank sucked it all in, his annoyance and despair over the idea of exercising. He might as well have tried to enjoy it, especially seeing as he wasn’t going to be alone through it. Gerard was going to be with him so he knew that even if he faked enjoying it, which he hoped that he wouldn’t have to do once he got into the swing of it, he was just going to have to lump it because this was what he had to do. This was part of the lifestyle and he knew it, having signed and accepted it in his contract.

 

“Well don’t just stand there looking like some lost soul. Go and get ready, boy. I shouldn’t have to tell you to do something that you should already know you have to do.” Gerard instructed, making Frank move fast. Going across the bedroom, Frank mumbled out a ‘yes sir’ before disappearing, heading down the hall to go back to his room to get ready. 

 

For a second Frank stood in his closet, not entirely knowing what to put on. For someone who was about to exercise for the first time since being forced to do gym at school, Frank stood in the middle of his closet, realising that he didn’t know if he owned anything that was suitable for him to wear. He had this whole room filled with clothes that Gerard had got him, but he really didn’t know if he had been bought or given anything that he could wear right now. 

 

Not wanting to waste anytime, especially seeing as when Frank left Gerards bedroom his Master was already pulling a t-shirt on over his head, he grabbed at the only things he had that seemed acceptable. It wasn’t like he needed to look smart to go out exercising. Frank knew that he needed to dress comfortably, especially since he was going to be doing something that he hadn’t done for god knows how long. Comfort was key and Frank kept thinking that as he rummaged around, grabbing what he needed, quickly dressing himself before leaving his room in search of Gerard.

 

Frank found Gerard downstairs in the front room, warming up. Not that Frank was paying attention to the fact that his Master was preparing for what they were about to do. Frank couldn’t even focus on that when all he noticed was how Gerard was dressed. It wasn’t the large plain off white shirt that caught Frank off guard, more what he was wearing on his lower half. The glorious sky blue poly short shorts with white trim. Frank swallowed as he walked over to Gerard, trying not to focus on the fact that he had never seen his Master wearing anything like this before. It had always been suits and even when he dressed down, he never wore anything remotely close to what he was wearing right now. There was so much leg on display. So much that Frank knew he was pretty much blushing. He could feel his face heating up as he joined Gerard, but he really tried his best to stay focussed, which was proving to be a hard thing to do when all he now had in his sight was Gerard stretching and warming up in the wonderous shorts with matching blue and white socks.

 

Gerard glanced over at Frank when he realised he had been joined. He was about to speak, but stopped instantly when he looked over Frank, wondering what on earth he thought he was doing.

 

“You do know you are going running, boy?” Gerard questioned, looking up and down Frank again, wondering if this was some kind of joke which was clearly going to backfire in a second.

 

Frank just stood there, frowning at Gerard because he knew what they were going to be doing. As much as he was dreading it, he knew that there was no getting out of it, “Yes, sir.” Frank replied.

 

“And you’re dressing...like that?” Gerard continued to question, hoping that his tone would make Frank realise that what he was wearing was the polar opposite of what he should have been dressed in. 

 

Frank looked down at what he was wearing, pulling his hands out of his sweatpants pockets, not understanding what Gerard was getting at. He had dressed for comfort. Frank knew that running for the first time in god knows how long was not going to be some walk in the park. Frank knew he was going to struggle, even if he was hoping that he wouldn’t. He just tried to be optimistic, dressing as comfortably as possible for the occasion, wearing his sweatpants, a comfy long sleeved shirt and a pair of converse.

 

“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” Frank asked, feeling nervous about how he was dressed now. Maybe he should have been dressed more like Gerard was, but he couldn’t go back on his choices now. He didn’t want to feel stupid for not knowing how to dress for exercise. So Frank just stood confidently, waiting for his Master to respond. 

 

“Nothing,” Gerard half snorted, beginning to realise that maybe the boy was a little out of his depth with this. But Gerard knew that he couldn’t just tell Frank that he was dressed wrong. Frank seemed so confident about what he was wearing. Clearly the confidence would run out soon enough though, Gerard knew that. Frank would learn the hard way if he was so adamant that he was going to go out running in a long sleeved shirt and sweatpants, “Just checking that you know what you are doing, boy.”   
  
“I’ve got this, sir.” Frank reassured his Master as confidently as possible, stretching his legs before running on the spot.

 

“As long as you know what you are doing, boy…” Gerard said, grabbing at two water bottles before giving one of them to Frank, “You’ve got an hour of this.”   
  
“Trust me, sir,” Frank reassured him again, “I’ve got this.”

 

~

 

“Sto- god, please stop.” Frank panted out. His lungs felt like they were on fire and for the life of him he swore that he could do this. He proved himself wrong though as he came to a stop, bending over, hands on his knees while he tried to catch his breath back.

 

This was nothing like having to run in gym class back in school. Maybe it was to a degree because he was being made to run like his old gym teacher used to make the whole class do, but Frank knew that he hadn’t got this. It became very clear from the moment that he started running alongside Gerard. It seemed to be going so well until his body realised what he was trying to do and was having nothing to do with it almost instantly.

 

“What’s the matter, boy?” Gerard asked, barely breaking a sweat as he ran back to Frank, jogging slowly on the spot as he watched the boy struggle to catch his breath back, “I thought you said, and I quote, I’ve got this.”

 

“I have…” Frank nodded, feeling the sweat already beading on his forehead, feeling how his legs already felt like they were turning to lead just from however long they had been running for. Frank glanced at Gerard briefly, feeling jealous annoyance over the fact that his Master hadn’t even stopped when he came to check on him. Gerard was still running on the spot, not even struggling as Frank looked away, wiping the sleeve of his shirt against his forehead, “Just, gi- gimme a second...can’t breathe…”   
  
“Whatever is the matter?” Gerard asked, wondering why Frank was making such a scene out of a little light exercise, “You make it look like you’ve never run a day in your life, boy.”

 

“I...I don’t make a habit of running,” Frank spoke honestly, throat still burning before he took a long drink on his bottle of water, swallowing, “Last time I ran was when… Ryan used to drive me into work sometimes and one day he thought I had a day off. I literally had to run after him just so I could get into work. Practically died when he realised I was chasing him...fuck. My chest feels like it’s on fire.”

 

“I would say that you are doing rather well, but we’ve barely made it around the block.” Gerard pointed out, making Frank groan, realising that there was no way in hell he was going to be able to do this for an hour. He was probably going to die before this was over. Or Gerard was going to have to somehow get him home when his legs gave out and he couldn’t go on any longer.

 

“Just...gimme a sec, sir,” Frank held a finger up, gulping down more air, starting to feel that the burning sensation in his chest was starting to dissipate, “I can do this.”

 

“Clearly,” Gerard smirked, still running on the spot, making Frank internally grumble at the lack of athleticism he had compared to his Master who was clearly more in shape than he was. It wasn’t fair, even though it was. Frank hoped that the fact that he was younger meant that he was more spritely and he could do this, but it was proven to be the opposite with him and Gerard, “Only fifty five more minutes to go and then you can hit the shower, boy.”

 

“Fift- are you serious?” Frank sputtered out. He swore that they had at least been running for twenty minutes. It honestly felt like it with the way Frank’s body fought the surge of movement that he had been doing. His head pounded and he swore that he could feel his heart beating in his fingers and toes. Frank didn’t know if he could do this for fifty five more minutes. He didn’t want to stop, making himself look like he couldn’t do something that looked so simple for Gerard to do. For someone who wasn’t a show off, Frank swore that he was as he kept running on the spot, not even stopping to properly check if he was okay. Frank's face was red with heat, sudden exhaustion and lack of realisation that he couldn’t do this. He had to though, even as Gerard kept going, going ahead of Frank in an attempt to get him to move.

 

“We’ve only been going for five minutes. Come on, Frank,” Gerard looked back, encouraging Frank to move. Frank cursed under his breath, having one more long drink on his water before hitting the cap shut. As much as he wanted to stop, he pushed on, wanting to catch up with Gerard who was already a few metres away from him, running briskly, not even struggling one bit. Frank tried to keep his breathing even, remembering old orders that his gym teacher used to shout at the class when they were running. His leg muscles screamed out in protest though. Frank kept pushing through, converse slapping on the pavement, eventually feeling so fucking proud of himself when he actually went and caught up with his Master, “I thought you knew that this wouldn’t just be a quick sprint around the block. Endurance my boy. Maintaining strength. Keeping yourself fit so your body can cope with what I do to you.”

 

“I think…” Frank spoke between breaths, “This will kill me more...than what you do to me...sir.”

 

“Nonsense,” Gerard chuckled, not even struggling to speak like Frank was while he ran, “This is a walk in the park compared to the array of things that I could do to you. You should know that by now, boy.”

 

“True.” Frank panted, the memory of the day before being brought right to the front of his mind. His shoulders had still ached a little, even though it wasn’t too bad. He could ignore it, not that he could now when his whole body was starting to continuously ache. Frank hoped and prayed to god that he would never have to go through what he went through yesterday ever again, but right now, he felt like he was being punished with exercise, even though this was supposed to be good for him.

 

The only good thing about it was the sheer amount of Gerard's legs that were exposed. The tiny blue shorts which Frank tried not to focus on in fear of getting distracted, but even if he did, it would have been the best distraction out of this whole hell Gerard called running.

 

“Now let’s see if you can keep up for the rest of the hour, boy.” Gerard spoke, looking over at Frank who really did look like he was about to collapse from heat stroke. Wearing the wrong clothes were starting to get to Frank, but he still pushed on, still somehow keeping up with his Master as he swigged on more water while running, “No more stops. I don’t want this to be a complete waste of time.”

 

“Yes...sir.” Frank forced the two words out, knowing full well that there was no way in hell he was going to still be running by the time the hour was up, but at least he could try. Or at least that’s what Frank kept telling himself as he continued to keep up with Gerard, only starting to lag behind when the pace began to get too much for him. His head pounded as he fell back, lungs threatening to seize, stomach probably about to eject the water he had been downing to keep himself cool. Frank tried so hard. Sweat poured down his face, down his back, starting to soak through the shirt he was wearing before a sharp pain hit him in the side, making his face twist, forcing him to stop.

 

“Oh go, ow- stop. Stop…”

 

“What now, boy?” Gerard sighed after seeing Frank standing, hands clutching at the side of his stomach. He slowed down before turning back to join Frank, finally stopping to see what the matter was.

 

“Cramp. Oh god- cramp. Shit.” Frank hissed, holding onto his side tight, trying to breathe, but it only made the pain in him far worse than anything he had ever experienced. This was why he didn’t run. This was why he knew that there was no way in hell he was going to make it to the end of the hour.

 

“In your side, boy?” Gerard asked, noticing how Frank was holding his side before looking at his Master with a pained expression, nodding, “You don’t have cramp.”

 

“Alright House,” Frank huffed out, not appreciating how Gerard was telling him what wasn’t wrong with him. He did however appreciate the fact that Gerard held onto his side, applying pressure where it hurt which did help to alleviate some of the intense pain that was shooting through Frank every time he tried to breathe in, “It fucking feels like a cramp.”

 

“Language, boy,” Gerard told him off quickly, “You have a stitch. Nothing serious. You’re not going to die from it.”

 

“Aren’t they the same thing?” Frank wheezed, feeling like he was burning up from the inside out as sweat coated his frame under his clothes. Through his clothes in parts too.

 

“A cramp is a contraction in the muscles, usually in the legs muscles when running,” Gerard explained, “What you have is a reduced blood flow to your diaphragm. Touch your toes, boy.”

 

“What?” Frank stuttered, looking at Gerard so confused.

 

“Do as I say.” Gerard ordered. Frank sighed, wincing at the pain while he bent over, doing what he had been told to do. Trying to breathe, Frank held the position for fifteen seconds before the backs of his calves started to strain. He stood up, prepared to feel the sharp, shooting pain in his side, but it was dissipating. He could actually breathe and it didn’t hurt. Frank breathed a sigh of relief, smiling weakly at Gerard.

 

“How did you do that?” Frank asked.

 

“Because I know what I’m doing, boy,” Gerard answered, looking Frank up and down once more, “Including how to dress appropriately for exercise.”

 

“Wh-” Frank started before he realised that Gerard was making a point. Commenting on how he was dressed, Frank realised that maybe he had made a mistake with what he was wearing. Clearly he was overheating, that was a given as he noticed the sweat stains on his shirt under his arms. Sweat was pouring down his red face. Sweat pants really were the worst thing to wear, adding to the heat that was making him burn up. Plus shoes. His feet were starting to hurt thanks to the battered converse he was wearing.

 

Gerard was barely sweating. He was dressed appropriately and he was probably more comfortable than Frank was right now.

 

“Why didn’t you say anything to me, sir?” Frank questioned, wiping his sweaty brow again before downing another mouthful of water.

 

“Because how will you learn if every time you do something wrong I tell you that you are in fact doing it wrong, boy.” Gerard spoke casually, making Frank realise that he hadn't said anything about his exercise dress code on purpose, “You have to sometimes realise by yourself that what you are doing is wrong. If you didn't want to boil away while running then you would have dressed appropriately. You will know for tomorrow now, won't you?”

 

“Yes, sir.” Frank said in a small voice, watching Gerard stretch again briefly before starting to run on the spot. Frank tried his best to focus on actually surviving the rest of the time he had to run for, but it was hard when his Master was leagues fitter than he was, clearly making it obvious because he was practically running circles around Frank, literally too when Frank quickly stretched his legs.

 

“Come on then boy,” Gerard encouraged his sub, jogging around him before coming to stop at his left side, “We haven’t got all day to be doing this.”

 

And somehow Frank kept up. He had no idea how he was doing it as he sweated, knowing full well that he was burning up from the inside out, probably some wonderful shade of red as he ran alongside his Master. But that only lasted for a short while. Frank knew he was running so low on energy by the time they were half an hour in. He was so not used to running for such an extended period of time. Thirty minutes was usually nothing to him, but seeing as he was so close to passing out from possible heat stroke, Frank swore that thirty minutes felt like thirty hours. He had been doing this for far too long. He wanted to stop, but he could just imagine how Gerard would be if he stopped. He would not have been pleased. More annoyed because Frank was wasting time when they could have been further on from where Frank was possibly about to pass out on. 

 

Frank drank a mouthful of water as he ran, noticing how he was slowly starting to lag behind. He didn’t care about the fact he couldn’t drink properly while he was running, spilling more than a decent drinks worth of water down his chin and shirt. He cared more about the fact that he was starting to slow down. His head was starting to pound and his legs felt like lead. There was no way in hell he was going to be able to do this, but Frank pushed, even though he was burning up more than he swore he had ever done in his entire life. Sweat poured from him. His clothes were drenched in places. His shirt clung to his back. Sweatpants starting to rub from where his legs were sweating. Frank needed to stop. He needed to cool down for a moment, but Gerard wasn’t letting up, even as he got a few feet behind him, panting, wanting to shout out stop, but he knew that he couldn’t right now.

 

They rounded a corner, heading into a park. Frank felt grateful that there was no one around to see him struggling as much as he was. Gerard was still running at a good pace, fully aware of the fact that Frank was lagging behind him.

 

“Come on boy,” Gerard called out, looking over his shoulder to see Frank behind him, “End of the park and we can take a break.”   
  
A break sounded good, but Frank knew that he wouldn’t be able to make it to the end of the park without having a coronary in the process. His eyes stung from sweat getting into them. Frank felt like he was going to collapse at any given moment. Gerard was so far ahead of him now that Frank knew there was no way he was going to be able to catch up with him. It felt like this was the end. A small part of Frank felt the urge to call out pineapples, but he fought it, even though his whole body struggling to move like he was dragging a dead weight behind him. Frank looked up, eyesight blurry from sweat, blinking hard to focus on the fact that Gerard was running on the spot ahead of him so he could catch up. Frank wanted to believe that he could do this, but his brain was slamming on the breaks. His brain knew that his body was flying a white flag. It needed to stop. Needed to cool down. Needed to not being doing this as he barely ran in an attempt to catch up with his Master.

 

Out of all the things Frank had to go and notice in the park, he heard ducks. The noise made him look to his left, seeing the expanse of pond that stretched out. In his head it registered over the fact that Gerard was calling out to him, trying to encourage him to speed up and push. The water looked disgusting. It was a murky brown colour, but to a overheating Frank, it looked divine. Like a cool shower on a boiling hot day. Frank’s dead body screamed out to have some form of relief. Not just from stopping what he was doing, but from the heat that was emanating from him. He felt like he was melting. Body nothing but an overly hot mess that couldn’t go on. Gerard was metres away from him, but the water was closer and Frank weighed up everything that was good and bad in his head while he considered the option that he had. If he went to Gerard then he would have to push on for the rest of the run. If he just did what he knew would cool him down then he could go on, but at a price. Gerard probably would have ended up furious with him for acting so unbelievably inappropriately. Frank could imagine receiving another punishment from his Master over his actions, but his actions meant that he was going to cool down so fast. His actions meant that he would get so much relief. He didn’t care if anyone saw what he was considering doing. He had a one track mind right now, pushing away the fact that Gerard was calling out to him. Pushing away the possible bad outcomes of what he wanted to do.

 

Frank didn’t even think twice as he stopped, taking in a few lungfuls of air, catching his breath back. He wiped his face dry, looking over at Gerard who had stopped running. He held his hands on his hips, looking over at Frank. He might as well have been tapping his feet and pointing to his watch, showing Frank that he was wasting so much time because he had stopped yet again. In that moment Frank didn’t care though. He felt dead. He felt like he couldn’t go on and the one thing in the corner of his eye was beyond tempting. More than tempting because Frank knew that he had made his mind up. There was no way he was going to go on feeling like he was boiling to death in his clothes.

 

Gerard called out again to Frank, but he ignored him. Frank knew there was going to be serious concequences because he had ignored his Master, but the ignoring was for a reason. The ignoring was because Frank turned on the spot, not caring about anything other than what he was about to do because the heat was too much and he knew that he couldn’t just strip off in the park to cool down. Indecent exposure was definitely something that he couldn’t do around Gerard, no matter how hot he was.

 

And what he was about to do, well, that wasn’t a good thing to do around Gerard either, but Frank didn’t care as he pushed a slow run out of himself. His exhausted legs fought the burn in his muscles. His whole body hated him for running again, but it would be over soon and he was going to be okay, even if what he was about to do was something that Gerard clocked onto seconds before he did it.

 

Frank didn’t care about anything other than cooling down as he was a few feet away from the pond. Getting closer every second, Frank took in a breath before he did what Gerard watched him do from where he was metres away from him. It wasn’t even like Frank heard his Master bark out an order for him to stop. It was a shock move that even Frank couldn’t believe he was doing, but he was doing and there was nothing that could stop him as he dove forward. In an instant there was nothing, and then there was the cool rush of relief surrounding Frank as he hit the water with a splash. The rush of water filled his ears, his overheating body felt like it was sizzling while he remained submerged under the water for a second before he surfaced, gasping for air, pushing water out of his face and back over his head. Frank spat water out, finally remembering that he had just gone and jumped into the most dirtiest water he had ever decided to jump into. He didn’t care though. A smile spread on Frank's face as his soaked clothes clung to his frame. The cold water drenched him and cooled him. He still looked so red, so unbelievably hot and overworked on his first time out running with his Master. 

 

Frank had to admit, he hadn’t even considered Gerard until he heard someone coming towards him. He heard the sound of someone running towards him before they came to a stop. Frank didn’t even want to look up because he knew who was by the edge of the pond, looking down at him with more than disgust plaster over his face. Frank just stood in the waist high water for a second, building up the courage to actually look up, still wiping water out of his face that was running down from his fringe.

 

He did look up eventually, squinting, seeing Gerard stood by the side of the pond in the same stance he had been doing when he was waiting for Frank to catch up to him. His hands sat on his hips, but the look on his face was something that Frank had to admit, his stomach churned. For a second, he couldn’t read Gerard's stoic expression.

 

The expression which was more shock because Gerard could not believe that he had just watched Frank dive into a dirty duck infested pond. The boy stood in the water, looking like some timid dog who had just jumped into a muddy puddle because it looked like fun. Clearly Frank hadn’t done this for fun though. Gerard could tell just by looking at the boy's glowing face. The boy who was drenched in possibly feculent water. His clothes were tinted a wonderfully disgusting shade of brown now. Pond weeds wrapped around the sleeves of his shirt. Frank looked a disgrace, but Gerard didn’t move a muscle as he watched the boy.

 

“I think…” Frank started, still catching his breath back as his body temperature finally started to drop back down to something that felt normal, “Next time...I need shorts.”

 

He hoped to break the awkward tension that he could sense in the air around the two of them. Thank god no one had walked past, seeing him deep in duck water, but Gerard had seen him and Frank swore that his heart was about to surrender and let him just die instead of having to go through another bout of punishment like he had done the day before. He couldn’t get in trouble over this, even though he was so sure that he would.

 

Gerard didn’t respond to Frank while he remained standing at the edge of the pond, still watching his soaked sub who remained exactly where he was in the water. Not daring to come near him or ask him for help to get out. The thing was though, even though Frank had ignored his call outs to him, even though Frank had done something so beyond ridiculous that Gerard couldn’t have even pre warned himself about this happening, he didn’t feel any form of anger rising in him. Something like this, the sheer lack of respect for him and the lack of listening to him would have had Gerard steaming, but he wasn’t. He remained completely composed the whole time he stood looking over Frank in the water.

 

Frank had no idea about his Master's feelings right now because Gerard’s facial expression remained the same for the time being. He wasn’t upset, or annoyed about what Frank had gone and done. Yes it had been so unexpected, but Gerard took in what Frank had done in sheer desperation. He looked at his saturated boy, standing amongst the ducks that were starting to come closer to him because maybe he had food on him and even Gerard couldn’t stop the smirk that came from him, followed by him shaking his head. Something like this should have been beyond unacceptable, but Gerard found it more funny than anything else right now.

 

“I think you do, boy.” Gerard finally responded to Frank, agreeing with him, coming across as nothing more than humoured which had Frank relaxing in his cooling pond bath, “And I think next time we avoid jumping head first into the pond, okay?”

 

“Yes, sir.” Frank mumbled, finally feeling somewhat back to his normal body temperature as he waded back towards the edge of the pond, wanting to get out of the water before the wildlife attacked him for food that he didn’t have.

 

“Straight home, hot shower,” Gerard instructed, pulling the boy out of the water by the arm, shaking his hand off and wincing at it when Frank was back on solid and dry ground, “God knows what bacteria is in that water. Not having you getting sick from e-coli or what other delights lurk in that pond.”

 

Frank repeated himself, saying yes sir again as he started to walk, converse squelching on the ground. Every item of clothing he had on dripped and clung to him as he walked, more waddled because soaking wet sweat pants felt rather uncomfortable and disgusting against his legs. 

 

Frank barely said a word as they made their way back home. What he had done, he knew that he had acted impulsively and jumping into a pond was more than stupid. Thankfully Gerard hadn’t be cross. More amused at the fact that he had done something so random and completely far fetched. Who even jumps into ponds to cool down anyway?

 

Frank Iero did at least.

 

Once home Frank barely set foot in the house before Gerard was stopping him, telling him to stand still in the main entrance.

 

“If you drip one drop of pond water on Lindsey's carpets...it won’t be you getting in trouble,” Gerard looked at Frank, pointing a finger at him while he walked into the kitchen, grabbing a waste bag before walking back over the Frank, “I will be the one getting it in the neck, even though you, boy, were the one to unexpectedly plunge yourself into noxious pond water. Clothes off, now, in the bag.”

 

Frank did as he was told, stripping down, peeling the wet clothes from his body, chucking them into the black bag as each item was removed. By the end of it, Frank was shivering, wrapping his arms around his chest an a weak attempt to keep himself warm. 

 

Going from overheating to walking back in sodden clothes had cooled Frank down, but it had done more than that, making himself colder than he intended to be. His teeth chatter quietly in his mouth as Gerard chucked the boy's once red but now ruined converse into the bag as well, tying it off before holding it at arm's length.

 

“You do realise you ruined your clothes, boy,” Gerard pointed out, looking over at Frank briefly, “The whole lot should be burnt instead of being washed.”

 

Frank didn’t say anything. He just remained where he was standing, wishing that he was a little warmer and a little more dressed than he was right now while he waited for Gerard to say that he could move.

 

“Well go on then, go get in the shower, boy,” Gerard ordered, snapping his fingers at Frank to move, “We don’t have all the time in the world you know. Disinfect yourself before you even consider stepping out of that shower. And don’t take too long,” Gerard reminded Frank as he walked towards the stairs, hoping not to leave his possibly dirty footprints on any carpet that he stepped on, “Breakfast doesn’t cook itself you know.”

 


	45. Chapter 42: A Lot Less Business-like and a Lot More Douchebag

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I put up chapters as soon as they are finished, but I was so reluctant to even post this one. The first book is finished on wattpad, we are moving onto the second book, but I find it so disheartening on here.
> 
> I know this has been up and down and up and down, but this isn't coming down again. I get that people aren't going to comment on any of the parts they have already read, but not getting any form of feedback on any of the new chapters is rather upsetting.
> 
> Even if it's just a comment to say that you enjoyed what Parker and I have created. Just something, anything to acknowledge what we are doing. If we are to be posting another forty odd chapters and not get any feedback, like yes, kudos and views are wonderful, but we fan fiction writers love getting comments and feedback.
> 
> When we don't, it's hard to get into the story.
> 
> Luckily we have such an influx of comments on wattpad from regular readers, but it would just be nice to hear something on here for once.
> 
> If you don't want to comment due to anxiety or anything, then I understand because I get like that too when I'm reading, but then I'm also the writer who is putting up our work on here, getting more and more nervous everytime a chapter is posted and nothing gets said.
> 
> We are appreciative of the fact that the story is being read and has hit 900 hits on here, but just a little feedback would be nice.
> 
> Any errors, apologies, but we think we got them all :)

Frank stood against the wall in his Master's office, looking down at the clipboard in his arms. He glanced at the still red marks on his wrists from Monday's punishment and he swallowed nervously, remembering his pain.

 

Frank glanced up at his boss for a second, blushing as he caught sight of Gerard looking back at him with a raised eyebrow and a smirk on his lips.

 

“Can I help you with something, boy?” Gerard asked idly as he went back to typing on his laptop.

 

“No, sir. Just looking.” Frank smiled coyly in response as he looked at the clipboard again.

 

It was just then when there was a knock on Gerard's door before it opened and the tangerine-haired receptionist Hayley poked her head in, her bright locks in a messy updo, her face flustered.

 

“Yes, Hayley?”

 

“Y- Your brother is here.” She whispered and looked down at her date book, “He didn't schedule anything.”

 

Gerard sighed, “He never does.”

 

“So what do I do, sir?” Hayley asked timidly, swallowing as she looked at Gerard with wide eyes. 

 

“Send him in, it’s fine.” Gerard waved hand at the poor receptionist who then ran off to the front desk. Frank felt his heart beating in his chest as he pressed himself against the wall, clutching his clipboard of Gerard’s notes against his chest, realising how tightly he was squeezing the plywood with his fingers to the point that it hurt, “Relax, boy.”

 

“Yes, sir.” Frank whispered softly, looking down at the realisation that he was about to meet his Dominant’s brother. Frank swallowed against the dry lump in his throat and looked at his scuffed shoes.

 

Frank looked down at the clipboard and at the dog-eared pages of Gerard’s speech that he had been busy with that morning, sucking in a shaky breath as he withheld the urge to vomit.

 

He heard the light but urgent slap of shoes on the wooden floor growing louder and he pressed himself against the wall, wishing he could become miraculously invisible. 

 

The door opened and Frank looked even further down, staring at a fibre in the carpet as caramel suede boots came into view and the ankles of black skinny jeans hit his periphery. Frank raised an eyebrow as he glanced up, his eyes widening as he took in Gerard’s younger brother. He wasn’t at all what Frank was expecting in the slightest. Mikey was dressed in his caramel suede boots and his black skinny jeans and if that colour combo wasn’t enough to spark Frank’s intrigue, it would have definitely been that faux fur coat that Mikey was donning, the colour matching the shoes all the way down to his mid-thigh. Beneath the coat was what looked like a grey long-sleeve t-shirt hoodie. He had on a pair of reflective brown aviator sunglasses, the sun glinting off both the frame and the thin nose ring that sat snug in his right nostril. 

 

Frank took in the tall and skinny man standing expectantly in the office with them, his pompous manner akin to Gerard’s but a lot less business-like and a lot more douchebag. Including the oddly fluffy middle-mohawk that was cut into his mousy hair.

 

“Dear brother.” Gerard sighed, standing up slowly, hands still on the desk as he leaned over, eyeing Mikey.

 

“Gerard.” Mikey gave his older sibling a fake smile as he sauntered in and closed the door, sliding gracefully into one of the chairs that sat across from Gerard.

 

“To what or whom do I owe this courteous pleasure?” Gerard asked as he leaned back in his own leather chair.

 

“We had an appointment for lunch today.” Mikey quirked an eyebrow, “Did your receptionist not mention?”

 

“It wasn’t in the book,” Gerard then turned and looked at Frank pointedly, “Did he phone you?”

 

“N- No, sir.” Frank choked out, “Not in your diary either.”

 

“Let me see.” Gerard held out his hand and Frank jumped, whimpering as he opened the door to his and Derek’s office, scrambling for the diary. His heart was hammering as he opened the diary to the right date, hoping that Mikey’s name wasn’t written in and that he had missed it by mistake.

 

But the page was empty of a name, merely written appointments for the morning and nothing about Mikey. Frank sighed out in relief as he scurried back into Gerard’s office and handed him the diary. Gerard took it sharply, scanning the page with pursed lips until he was satisfied.

 

“Thank you, Frank.” 

 

“Yes, sir.” Frank whispered, taking the diary back before he stood back against the wall whilst Gerard turned to his brother.

 

“It matters not, you’re here now.”

 

Mikey didn’t reply however, as he stared at Frank openly, lowering his glasses as he took in the suddenly shy assistant who was hoping to blend into the beige wall behind him. 

 

“You’re his new pet?” Mikey asked curiously and Frank swallowed, remaining silent, “Oi, little boy, speak when spoken to.”

 

“You can answer him, Frank.” Gerard stated simply and Frank looked between them, nodding.

 

“Not just his assistant, are you?” Mikey sneered, “You’re the new toy.”

 

“Michael, keep quiet.” Gerard spoke in a firm tone but the younger brother didn’t listen, ignoring his sibling as he zeroed his focus in on Frank, who had begun to blush.

 

“You can’t tell me what to do.” Mikey scoffed as he turned completely in the chair before getting up and walking right up to Frank, “Look at you… Fresh meat.”

 

“Michael…”

 

Frank looked down and out of Mikey’s gaze, knowing not to reply to anything said to him unless Gerard said so. Frank was staring at the fibres of fur on Mikey’s coat near his shoulder as Mikey looked him over.

 

“This isn’t mine.” Mikey then turned to his brother, his hand on Frank’s blazer.

 

“I’m aware, brother.” Gerard stated simply as Mikey scoffed.

 

“You’re an idiot, you could have gotten it for a discount or even free if you bought from my line.” Mikey countered, eyeing the stitching of Frank’s lapel.

 

“You see, Michael, that’s the difference between you and I…” Gerard turned, taking a sip of coffee as Mikey turned to look at him, “I got to where I am without coasting on someone else and relying on everything for free. I actually worked hard to make something of myself and I can afford to buy my staff and my… Partners things they want and need.”

 

“Fuck off.” Mikey muttered just loud enough for Gerard to hear, the latter’s lips pursing sour as he scowled at his younger sibling with abject disdain, “And you…”

 

“Leave him alone, Michael. He has no business of yours.”

 

“Bit of a let down after Adam, isn’t he?” Mikey asked outright, sneering Frank right in the face. Frank knew his face fell then, his heart dropping onto his stomach and both plummeting into his size nines.

 

“Michael!” Gerard snapped as Frank looked down, biting and tugging with his teeth on his lip ring. Frank pushed the comment aside, knowing that Mikey was most likely trying to get a rise out of him or see him mess up and step out of line. 

 

“I’m serious.” Mikey stated again, “After the others… This one is just a disappointment. I mean Billie was gorgeous, Bert was just sweet and Adam had those rugged good looks. This is just a sad excuse for a greasy punk with daddy issues just looking for a solid lay and someone to rough him up. He’ll never be good enough. I bet he’s already fucked up.”

 

Frank stared passed Mikey’s shoulder, feeling his mouth start to salivate under his tongue as he pushed back tears, keeping his gaze from anyone’s line of sight. He swallowed his spit, noting Gerard stand up in his periphery but he knew that if he looked directly at his Dom that he’d start tearing up.

 

“Michael, I said leave him alone.” Gerard’s voice was venomous as Mikey took a step back from Frank, still eyeing him.

 

“So short and skinny. What does he see in you? You wouldn’t be able to hold your own with the things he does.” Mikey scoffed, “Bet you’re still new, aren’t you?”

 

“I- I-”

 

“Frank, be quiet.” Gerard whispered in command and the submissive remained silent, closing his mouth as his legs shook uncontrollably.

 

“That’s right. Do as your Master says or else. Can’t even hold his tongue. If Billie were here he’d be on his knees as my footrest by now. Adam would have taken my coat and Bert would have done anything I asked. What will you do, huh?”

 

“Michael, I’m warning you…” Gerard walked out from around his desk, taking his brother by the shoulder in a squeeze that almost crippled him, an iron grip that made him wince for a second before he turned to Gerard.

 

“Y’know what?” He shook Gerard’s hand off, “I don’t think I want to have lunch with you and honestly… I don’t think I want to be around that ugly and disobedient thing.”

 

It was the sound that hit Frank’s ears before he registered the action. The loud singing whack of skin on skin as Gerard all but forcibly slapped his brother across the face. Mikey’s face shot to the side with the sheer force of the slap, sunglasses flying to the ground with a light skitter of metal on wood.

 

“How fucking dare you come in here so fucking sure of yourself and insult not only my staff,” Gerard grabbed his brother by the hair and spun him around to the door and opened it with more force than necessary, “But my submissive as well.”

 

“Let go of me!” 

 

“Gladly.” Was all Gerard replied as he threw his brother out of his office, muttering in most likely French under his breath.

 

But Frank wasn’t paying attention, no. He was way passed that. He was trying to be as silent as possible as he sobbed against the wall. Everything that Mikey had said to him had hit the worst nerves in his body, had triggered his very insecurities within five minutes of meeting him.

 

Frank was silently crying to himself, wiping his tears on his sleeve as he tried to stop, tried not to let the words affect him the way they had already done. Frank heard Gerard close the door again with a sigh, turning when he took a step closer.

 

“Frank?”

 

“Y- Yes, s- sir?” Frank sniffed, looking up at his Master as his heart continued to pound like a hammer in his stomach, his face hot and his hands gripping the clipboard so hard he was convinced it were about to snap in half.

 

“My dearest boy.” Gerard muttered softly as he took a step closer and tried to pry the clipboard fro Frank, “Give it here, come now.”

 

Frank let go of the clipboard as he latched his arms around Gerard, sobbing loudly against his Dominant’s chest as the latter stroked his submissive’s hair in a soothing pattern.

 

“Don’t take him to heart, boy.” Gerard whispered, his lips pressed against Frank’s head as he backed them both up slowly step by step until he lowered them both into his chair, pulling Frank into his lap, sitting the sniffling boy across his legs.

 

“I- I- And- And he.. He said- And I could- And-” Frank let out a gut-wrenching sob as more tears spilled from his eyes, warm and salty down his cheeks and into his lips.

 

“Don’t listen to that uncouth misfortune.” Gerard continued, “He knows nothing but fabric samples and espresso.”

 

“B- But he was r- right.” Frank sniffed as h clutched Gerard’s free hand in his despite how clammy his hand was, he held it in his own as tight as he could with their fingers interlocked.

 

“He most certainly wasn’t, Frank. If he were then I wouldn’t be with you.”

 

“You shouldn’t.” Frank looked down as his heart sank and his brain came to the stark realisation.

 

“Pardon?”

 

“I…” Frank frowned as he readjusted, “Pineapples.”

 

“Frank?” Gerard asked out in surprise at the sudden call of the word neither of them wanted to hear or say. Frank avoided Gerard’s gaze as he slowly and carefully climbed from his Master’s lap.

 

Frank said nothing as he reached up and under the back of his collar, unfastening it from around his neck as he felt Gerard’s eyes on him in an unwavering gaze.

 

“Are… Are you sure?”

 

“Pineapples.” Frank repeated more to himself than to Gerard, feeling like it was all he could say, like if he said anything else that it would undo what he was trying to accomplish, that any other word would pull himself back into Gerard’s tight hold. 

 

“Can I ask why?” Gerard’s voice was unreadable, his face devoid of emotion as he steepled his fingers over his lap cautiously.

 

“You deserve better and… And Mikey was right. I can’t be what you want. Sure, I- I can do this to an extent and I could probably do it well but… I’m not who you want or what you want and you deserve someone with more experience.”

 

“I don’t want someone like that.” Gerard countered calmly as more tears threatened to spill up in Frank’s already blurred eyes.

 

“But you deserve it and- and... “ Frank took Gerard’s hand and put the black collar in his pale palm, “I just…”

 

“Frank.”

 

“Please just- Just let me go.” Frank withheld the sob that was in the back of his throat when he looked up to see Gerard’s solemn eyes on him in a thoughtful gaze that seemed to be teeming with any and so many other emotions that didn’t even crack to his perfect surface.

 

“Okay.” Gerard stated simply, “I won’t hold you back if this is what you feel you need to do. Where are you planning to go?”

 

“I-” Frank stopped dead in the realisation that he had nowhere to go, that Gerard was his saving Grace and his home, “I don’t know.”

 

“Here.” Gerard sat up and opened his desk cabinet, pulling out his briefcase. Frank watched, sniffing, as Gerard pulled out a white card and a small book, writing something in it before he tore it out and handed them to the shaky and unstable Frank in front of him.

 

“What’s this?” Frank asked with a sniff as he took both items.

 

“The card is for my suite at the Hotel Plaza. You can stay there for as long as you need to decide what you want and the second is a cheque for your salary so far. You need something to tide you over and you can cash it when you see fit. I take it that you leaving means that you will be absent from work but I luckily have Josh so it’s okay. He’ll fill in for you in the meantime.”

 

“I…”

 

“You can take my car to get your things, you can just tell the driver where to go if you need to.” Gerard began shuffling papers on his desk, sorting it out when he cleared his throat and looked up Frank before he looked down again, frowning.

 

“You don’t need to do any of this.”

 

“I said I’d look after you, didn’t I?” Gerard said softly before he put Frank’s collar in his briefcase and out of sight from it laying on the desk.

 

“You- I safeworded…” Frank frowned, “I ended this, you don’t need to do anything for me if I’m not yours anymore.”

 

“You think a piece of paper defines my feelings for you within its confines?” Gerard seemed almost insulted as he looked at Frank. The latter looked down in shame at the glance he was getting, tears welling up in his eyes as he tried to bite down an apology, “I didn’t mean for that to be too harsh.”

 

“Wh-” Frank looked up, “Since when do you care about harsh?”

 

“I resent that.” Gerard narrowed his eyes and Frank looked away again, realising that he was right.

 

“I’m sorry, I- I guess I’m just trying to find any and all reasons to leave because if I don’t, I…” Frank swallowed again, “I should go.”

 

“This is the last time I’m going to ask,” Gerard began as he stood up, keeping his distance a foot or so away from Frank, “Is this what you want?”

 

“It’s best…” Frank nodded, “For us both.”

 

“If you wish.” Gerard looked Frank over for a second, “You should go.”

 

“Do- Do I get a goodbye?”

 

“Do you want one?” Gerard then raised an eyebrow and Frank mulled the idea over in his head as he ran the ball of his tongue piercing over his teeth, stepping closer. Gerard looked down at Frank for a miniscule second, reaching up to wipe away one of Frank’s stray tears before he held himself back, frowning at the indecision of his actions.

 

Frank wiped away the one lonely tear and slipped into Gerard’s arms for one last hug, a short one, he promised himself as he took in the soft musk smell of his cologne that mingled with the scent that was so strongly ‘Gerard’. 

 

Frank closed his eyes, sighing out before he realised he was far too comfortable in the tight vice of Gerard’s strong arms. Frank shook his head, muttering to himself as Gerard’s arms dropped down to his sides, looking almost as lost as Frank did although he covered it up easier and quicker than Frank ever could.

 

“Don’t hesitate to call if you need anything.” Gerard stated in a sudden business-like voice, the tone was somewhat reminiscent to Frank of their first meeting at the cafe and he was ashamed to admit just how much it hurt to be spoken to that way.

 

“Yeah.” Frank lied, “Will do.”

 

“Go on.” Gerard gestured to the door, “Collect your things and be on your way, boy. I have things to do.”

 

Frank knew it was a lie, he knew Gerard’s schedule and his workload and he knew that Gerard barely had anything to do that day. He also knew that Gerard was taking the mature high road, trying to make it easier for them both, being the strong one as usual as Frank crumbled inside.

 

“Thanks.” Frank said as he slid the card and cheque into his pocket and walked to the door to his and Derek’s office.

 

“Anything for you, boy.” Gerard whispered just loud enough for Frank to hear as he sat himself back down in his chair and reshuffled his papers, opening his laptop back up. Frank looked down at the discarded pair of aviator sunglasses on the floor and he felt bile rise up in his throat.

 

He lifted his foot, bringing it down hard on the expensive pair of sunglasses, hearing them crunch and shatter under his shoe as the taste of hatred filled his mouth and mingled it’s way into his veins. 

 

“I’d have preferred his face but that’ll do.” Frank commented, looking at the glass that speckled in shards on the wooden floor.

 

“I’ll bet.” Gerard replied curtly, looking at Frank, who gave his boss one more short glance before exiting the office, exiting their relationship, their agreement… 

 

Their life together.


	46. Epilogue: Frank Told Himself that He Wasn't Going to Cry Anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are, at the end of the first book. 
> 
> Vanilla In Our Veins is the second and final installment so please, subscribe or do whatever you've got to do on here to be told when the second is up. Hopefully shouldn't take too long. I begin work on the prologue tonight so stay tuned for that.
> 
> And for the last time on this book...any errors, apologies, but we think we got them all :)

Frank sat in the back of the car, not focussing on anything around him while he was driven. Part of him had wanted to protest and say that Gerard didn’t need to do this for him, but Frank honestly didn’t have the energy to fight his overly persuasive boss. Mikey had completely ripped him apart, broken him down so viciously that Frank hadn’t felt good about himself, even now as he sat in the car, being driven to his destination. Gerard’s driver remained silent in the front, following the orders he had been given. Frank was grateful for that. He really wasn’t in the mood for making small talk now. He wasn’t holding it together at all as he sat to the right like it was second nature to him, unfortunately still crying which he really wished that he wasn’t.

 

That was the problem though, or maybe it wasn’t such a problem because Frank had felt completely useless and in a way he still felt like he was nothing that anyone could want. Gerard had made a mistake. Frank believed that he had made a mistake. He wasn’t what he thought he could be. He couldn’t be the person that his Master expected him to be. How could he even continued to lie and pretend to be what he knew he couldn’t be. That wouldn’t have been fair on Gerard. It wouldn’t have been fair on himself either.

 

The one thing that had started it all had also ended it all. The one word Frank finally said. The safeword to end it all. After the way Gerard’s brother had spoken about him, right in front of him too, Frank just knew that he was right. The man he had never met before was somehow right about him. Maybe he was that easy to read. Maybe he looked like nothing more than a pathetic kid in a grown ups world. That was how he felt anyway. A kid trying to be something that maybe he wasn’t built to be. That’s what hurt the most because even though he was so sure that he had been kidding himself the whole time since he signed the contract Gerard had given him, Frank believed that he had it in him to be the person that his Master wanted. This was something that actually interested him. The dull and stale intimacy long gone. It was like his eyes had been opened to what he had been missing out on for far too long.

 

But then Mikey, Gerard's brother, had to go and open his eyes to the truth about himself. He was nothing more than a kid playing around in a grown ups game. He was nothing like who Gerard had obviously been with before him. His previous submissive. The mention of the name Adam had Frank cold in the office. Mikey talking about him like he was shit that Adam could have easily trodden on, wiped off his shoe and walked away from because he was nothing like him. He wasn’t well behaved. Frank knew that he had annoyed Gerard more than once. He had disobeyed orders and this was just a sign for Frank. He wasn’t cut out for any of this. He wasn’t built the same as anyone that Gerard had owned before him.

 

That’s what hurt Frank the most. The realisation that he had made nothing more than yet another mistake. His world was crumbling again. So soon after he had picked himself back up. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t him and he knew that kidding himself wasn’t going to hold any of it together if he had just gone and ignored the nasty jibes that the other Way had fired at him.

 

Frank wiped his eyes dry of tears when he noticed that the car was slowing down and turning. He frowned, looking out of the car window to see that Gerard's driver was actually driving him up to the front of his house. Frank really didn’t want to be here. He just wanted to be taken straight to the hotel so he could hit the minibar and drink until he couldn’t feel the emotions that were ripping him apart from the inside out.

 

“Sir requested that I should bring you here first,” The driver piped up, catching Frank's attention, “So you can collect your things before I take you to the hotel.”

 

“Oh, yeah, sure,” Frank nodded, realising that all he had on was the suit he had gone to work in this morning. One of the many suits that Gerard had given to him. Frank told the driver that he wouldn’t be too long, opening the door before climbing out. He shut the door, looking at the house, thankful that no one was home right now. Maybe the maid was going to be there, but Frank was more than happy to ignore her and just get on with collecting his things. 

 

Frank was more than grateful for knowing that Lindsey was at the office today. He knew that if he saw her then he would probably break down on her and want nothing more than some form of comfort to stop himself from hurting so much. But she was linked with Gerard and Frank just needed the distance. He needed to be away from this and he just needed to get himself out of the picture. Quickly in and out, that’s what Frank kept thinking as he let himself into the house and shut the front door behind him.

 

Frank didn’t hang about to see if the maid was still in the house. He was so sure that she was some wonderful lady who would be more than happy to make sure that he was okay, but Frank didn’t need some stranger to see just how worse for wear he really looked. Catching a glimpse of himself in the large mirror in the entrance way was enough for Frank to know that he looked like shit. His face was blotchy and red, eyes swollen from crying. He looked like nothing other than a mess in an overpriced suit. A suit that Frank didn’t even want to be in anymore as he climbed the stairs, heading straight for his room.

 

Frank noticed that the sheets had been changed on his bed. Clearly the maid had been and gone which was nothing more than a relief for Frank while he started to tug his tie loose from around his neck. Tossing it onto the bed, Frank couldn’t bear to be dressed in Gerard's clothes for any longer. In his head it didn’t feel right because maybe he never deserved any of this. Gerard had probably only done this to win him over and won him over it had. But again, Frank kept telling himself that he wasn’t cut out for any of this. This high life which had more kinky fuckery that Frank knew he couldn’t deal with. Over and over he kept telling himself as he ridded himself of the suit, I’m not built for this. I’m not cut out for this. I’m just not what I thought I could be.

 

Frank walked into the expanse of closet that had been his. Pulling his suitcase from a high shelf, he dropped it on the floor, opening it up. He dressed himself, throwing on one of his t-shirts as he put his clothes into the suitcase. Only his clothes. He didn’t want anything that Gerard had given him. That was all part of the lifestyle that Frank couldn’t even think about right now. He didn’t want any reminders. Plus if this was over, which he had said it was, then Frank didn’t want Gerard to think that he would steal from him. None of this was his. The rows of expensive suits and casual clothes that Gerard had bestowed upon Frank, none of this was his. He was so below this that Frank couldn’t even bring himself to look over it all while he pulled on a pair of his own jeans, pushing his feet into his sneakers. 

 

Frank was packed and dressed and out of the house as quickly as possible. He didn’t even look over the house as he dragged his suitcase into the entrance way that he had been in not fifteen minutes before. Frank didn’t waste any time as he lugged the suitcase out of the house, setting it down by the car before turning back to the house, pulling the door closed.

 

He didn’t even think twice either when he pulled out his keys, unlooping the front door key that Gerard had given him for the house, pushing it through the letterbox before turning and heading back towards the car. Frank grabbed his suitcase again, pulling it towards the trunk of the car, groaning when he heard the sound of the driver getting out of the car, walking across the gravel driveway towards him. 

 

“Let me help you with that,” Gerard's driver said politely, trying to grab at the suitcase while Frank got the trunk open. Frank knew that he was only trying to be nice. Hell, it was probably part of his job description to help in situations like this. But Frank didn’t need the help. He wasn’t Gerard who could easily click his fingers and have his driver doing somersaults for him. Frank was his own person and he could do this all by himself.

 

“It’s fine...you really don’t have to do this,” Frank insisted politely, but the driver clearly wasn’t having any of it, only making Frank more than annoyed that he was still being treated like this, “Seriously, stop!” Frank snapped, snatching his suitcase from the drivers hands, “I can do it by myself.”

 

Frank didn’t mean to snap. He hated the fact that he had snapped at the driver, but he hated the fact that he was still being treated like he was worthy of this. This lifestyle was still him, which clearly it wasn’t. Frank knew this and he just wanted to feel somewhat normal, even though he swore that he was going to break down and cry again.

 

Frank told himself that he wasn’t going to cry anymore, but even he knew that he was only lying to himself.

 

Frank put his suitcase in the trunk, feeling bad that he had snapped, but he just wanted to get out of there. The driver didn’t say a word to him as they both got back into the car. He didn’t say a word to Frank for the rest of the journey either. He liked that but also hated it at the same time because even though he was happy for not having to come up with small talk to someone that he probably wasn’t going to see ever again, Frank was alone with himself in his head. He was replaying the moment in the office over and over again. Reliving it, hating how he had been talked about. Yes, Gerard had defended him, but that didn’t stop Frank from realising he was nothing that his Master had expected him to be.

 

Frank tried not to think about it too much while he was driven to his final destination. He was too fragile to properly process anything so Frank tried his best to zone out, feeling somewhat numb and hurt from how it had all come to an end. He tried his best not to cry, but Frank couldn’t stop the stray tears from escaping, only wiping them away just so he could tell himself that he wasn’t properly crying. If he accepted that he was then it would only make him cry more. He couldn’t do that now, especially when the car slowed again, pulling up alongside where he was going.

 

“The Hotel Plaza, sir.” The driver told Frank, looking at him in the rear view mirror. Frank took a second too look out at the hotel, instantly feeling like he was not supposed to be in a place like this. The front of the hotel looked far too extravagant. Franks stomach churned as he took in the sight of the hotel, knowing full well that this was definitely the kind of place that Gerard would stay at. Nothing like the motel that Frank had been living in not so long ago.

 

“Thanks,” Frank said weakly, getting out of the car to get his suitcase from the trunk. He heaved the case out, setting it down on the pavement to see the driver standing by the side of the car, waiting for him, “Look, if you’re about to offer to carry that in for me, you really don’t have to.”

 

“Very well, sir,” The driver smiled at him, “I hope you enjoy your stay here.”

 

“Yeah…I’ll try to,” Frank muttered under his breath, lugging the suitcase behind him while he made his way towards the entrance of the hotel.

 

Frank swallowed nervously as he walked up to the black revolving doors. Instantly he knew that they were going to look down their nose at him. The door men were already watching him as he made his way up the rich red carpet that lead to the doors. He knew that he was already dressed far too inappropriately for such a high class hotel like this one. Maybe if he had kept his suit on then he would have fitted in a little better, but there was no way that he was going to be keeping anything that Gerard had given him. He just tried his best to ignore the judging looks he was getting from the door men, keeping his tear stained face down while he pushed himself and his suitcase into the hotel.

 

That was when Frank couldn’t help himself. All of a sudden he knew that he was so beyond out of place, but he couldn’t stop how his eyes went wide and his feet stopped moving. The magnitude of decadence that surrounded Frank had him dropping his suitcase down on the marble floor. He barely made it a few metres past the doors before he was completely taken aback by the sheer elegance that he had gone and walked into.

 

The lobby was lit brightly but it was warm and welcoming. Marble pillars lined with swathes of stunning flower arrangements circled a lavish and oversized carpet in the centre of the floor. Swirls of red and cream grey patterns covered the circular carpet that Frank didn’t dare to step on. He walked around it, still pulling his suitcase while taking in as much as he could of the lobby at once. He ran his hand over one of the marble pillars as he walked past it, feeling like a kid in some overly exorbitant candy store where he knew that he wouldn’t be able to afford anything that would be offered to him.

 

Thank god he had Gerard's card though. At least when he flashed that Frank knew that he wouldn’t be thrown out onto the street because he didn’t officially belong here.

 

Frank gazed over the rest of the lobby while he slowly made his way towards the front desk. A delicate yet gorgeous chandelier hung in the centre of the lobby, red silk lined chairs sat between some of the pillars on the far side of the lobby and small tables and chairs sat by the windows and Frank couldn’t help but wonder what lay past the lobby as he walked backwards towards the front desk. Frank was so in awe, no matter how he shit he looked and felt, he still couldn’t believe that he was in a place like this right now.

 

“Can I help you at all, sir?” Frank heard behind him, making him turn on his feet, his sneakers squeaking on the marble floor. He came face to face with a rather unpleasant looking member of the hotel staff. Frank smiled weakly, trying not to look like he had just been through one of the worst experiences of his life. Frank noticed the look of disdain on the front desk clerk's face, but still he tried to be as confident as possible. He had a right to be here, even if the clerk looked like Frank was the kind of thing that only came in when someone accidentally trod in something unpleasant and walked it into the hotel without realising.

 

“Yeah,” Frank nodded, remembering the card that Gerard had given him. He grabbed his wallet out of his jeans, not noticing the way the desk clerk was eyeing him unhappily. Frank pulled the card out of his wallet, sliding it across the front desk while trying to appear like he had the right to be here. Of course he did because Gerard had given him his card for his suite. The clerk didn’t know that though and looked more than displeased when he watched Frank push the white card towards him, “I’ve come to stay for a few nights.”   
  
The desk clerk picked the card up, checking it briefly before putting it back down, “This card is for the royal suite.”

 

Frank knew that Gerard had a suite here but he had no idea what said suite was called. He just assumed that he had a room and that was that. Frank nodded, trying to look like he knew exactly what the clerk was talking about, “I know what the card is for. That is why I want to stay here.”

 

“Please can you just take a seat for a moment, sir,” The clerk said far too insipidly for Frank's liking. He pointed towards the chairs behind Frank before he forced out an obviously fake smile while he picked up the card Gerard had given him, “I must make a phone call to… make sure the suite is ready…”

 

Clearly if Gerard had a suite that was all his then it was probably ready at all times. Frank knew exactly what the clerk was doing. He wasn’t stupid. As he dragged his suitcase away, going over to where he had been told to sit, Frank just knew that the desk clerk was calling someone to say that an obviously unwanted person was trying to use a suite. The royal suite in fact. They probably assumed that Frank had stolen the card, not knowing that he in fact knew the owner of the card far too well. 

 

Frank sat patiently in the rather uncomfortable chair opposite the front desk, watching the clerk talking on the phone. He looked over at Frank for a second, looking more than concerned before he realised that Frank was in fact watching him, tapping his foot on the floor, wishing that he was up in the room right now, not having to be checked before he could go and hide away and recover from what he had been put through. The clerk smiled fakely at him before turning his back on Frank, continuing to talk to whoever he was talking to. Probably someone higher up than him, wondering if they needed security to get him out of the hotel.

 

Eventually the clerk put the phone down before picking it back up again. Another call, Frank thought to himself, sighing heavily while he shifted in the chair because they really were uncomfortable. Frank tried to lip read, but he could barely make out what was being said. All he knew was that the clerk was reading out what was on the card to whoever was on the end of the phone. Then he looked shocked, rather put out before he looked annoyed, unhappy about whatever had been said to him on the other end of the phone. He looked over at Frank again, nodding before the call was ended. Frank had no idea what was going on for a second until the desk clerk stepped out from behind the front desk, walking over to him.

 

“Your suite will be ready for you in five minutes, sir,” The desk clerk said flatly, not happy about the fact that he had just spoken to the owner of the room, ready to tell him that someone was clearly trying to use his card, but said owner had told him that he had given the card to the young man in the lobby for him to use. He had every right to be there and the clerk had only hoped that he would have been able to tell this rather unfortunate state of a man that he could not use the suite and the card would be returning to its rightful owner, “Would you like to wait in the bar? Your concierge will be with you shortly to take you to your suite.”

 

“Thank you,” Frank said smugly, standing up, feeling somewhat better because he knew that he had gone and ruffled the feathers of the clerk. Frank guessed that he probably wouldn’t have been welcome to stay here if he didn’t have Gerard giving him his card, but here he was, still feeling like shit, but at least he stood proudly in front of the clerk, “Is the bar this way?” Frank asked, already making his way towards the large set of doors to his right, feeling like he could really do with a drink right about now after everything.

 

Five minutes later, which Frank was impressed with because he assumed that he would be late going up to his suite, a young gentleman in a matching suit that the desk clerk had been wearing walked up to him, giving him a bright smile. Gavin his name was, introducing himself to Frank happily as his personal concierge before offering to take his suitcase for him. Frank was about to protest, but how could he refuse when he had never been treated like this in a hotel before. He remembered the one time him and Ryan stayed in a hotel on one holiday and he had to lug everything up to the hotel room while Ryan decided that he needed to make sure that the hotel had everything that it said it did on the website. That had been exhausting and as much as Frank knew he could easily carry his suitcase up a few flights of stairs to Gerard's suite, he let the concierge take it for him, following behind, loving the special treatment that he was getting.

 

And clearly the special treatment wasn’t going to end as they left the elevator. The room was near the top of the hotel and Frank was surprised when he saw that only one door seemed to be on the floor that they were on. Clearly this had to be some fancy suite because Frank couldn’t even imagine Gerard being in some low class three star hotel. 

 

If the lobby was anything to go by then his suite was probably a hundred times more extravagant than that.

 

“The royal suite for you, sir,” Gavin said, running the card over a sensor on the door before he opened it. The card got handed back to him and Frank recognised it instantly. It was Gerard's card. He had literally given him the key to his suite. Frank pocketed it before stepping into the suite, expecting how it would be, but not actually expecting what he saw.

 

“Holy Ben Kenobi,” Frank uttered out under his breath, absolutely gobsmacked about what he had just stepped into. It was like a palace fit for a king, or a congressman at least. He took a few steps in before stopping, not knowing what to look at first. There was so much about the suite that had knocked Frank stunned, not quite believing that this kind of room even existed, “This is the royal suite?” Frank asked, looking back at Gavin who was stood near the door still.

 

“This is our most spectacular and opulent suite. Our largest in the hotel,” Gavin began, stepping closer to Frank as he held a hand out, pointing out the wonder of the suite that Frank was standing a few feet in from the door, “Four bedrooms and bathrooms, with a jacuzzi and steam room.”

 

“Jesus…” Frank said under his breath, looking over the decadent decor that filled the place. It felt more like some grand house than a suite in a hotel. The finest furniture dotted the room, sitting perfectly placed in the suite. For a moment, Frank couldn’t understand why Gerard would need four bedrooms and bathrooms in a suite, but then again, if he could afford something like this, which he obviously could, then the amount of rooms probably didn’t matter to him. It was the class of it and the status that he had which meant that this suite was definitely one that Frank could see him staying in.

 

“Only the finest antique furnishings are used in our royal suite,” Gavin went on, giving Frank a moment to look over what he assumed was technically the main room in the suite. The furnishings which were probably more treasures caught Frank's eye. Gorgeous cream sofas and gold lined chairs surrounded a large glass and mahogany coffee table. Every item in the suite screamed high class, from the red silk cushions that were perfectly placed on the sofas to the gold lamps that were dotted on priceless cabinets and tables. Frank didn’t have a word to say about the suite. He was beyond in awe about just how wonderful the suite actually was. He couldn’t even believe that he was actually staying in a suite like this, “The suite boasts two living rooms, one which we are in now… A private kitchen and a spacious dining room that can seat up to eight people.”

 

Frank was still gobsmacked to the point that he didn’t notice Gavin walking across the off cream carpet, making his way over to a set of doors in the corner of the room, waiting for Frank to join him. He did eventually when he noticed, mouth still hanging open in shock as he made his way over to the door which Gavin had opened for him.

 

“This is the master bedroom out of the four bedrooms in this suite,” Gavin explained to Frank, letting him take a few steps into the oversized bedroom, breathing out a quiet wow as he did so, “Each bedroom comes with its own en-suite marble bathroom and in this bedroom you have a king size bed. Twin beds in the other rooms.”

 

“You don’t say…” Frank spoke, not really directing his words to the concierge at all. More just saying it out loud into the room as he gazed, feeling somewhat overwhelmed and captivated by just how grand this whole suite was turning out to be. Gold trim lined the top of the pure white walls, silk curtains were pinned open at the windows and large, most likely silk again, drapes were tucked behind the bed that Frank swore was the biggest bed he had ever seen. The most sumptuous cream and purple trim sheets lined the bed. Lilac and purple pillows were placed meticulously at the head of the bed against the yet again gold lined headboard. More antique and priceless furnishings filled the room, each item seeming more and more elegant as Frank looked over them. Another glass coffee table, smaller than the one in the first living room, sat atop a silver and off white rug with more gorgeous sofas and armchairs placed around it. For a second he just basked in the amazing wonder of the suite that he was going to be staying in before he wondered and had to ask, turning to look at Gavin, “Does Gera- I mean, Congressman Way stay here often?”

 

“A few times a year,” Gavin smiled, “When on business.”

 

“And the rest of the time it just sits empty?”   
  
Gavin chuckled then, not answering Franks question as he turned and walked out the bedroom. Frank frowned, going to follow only to find the young concierge in the living room again, holding onto an iPad, “All of your in-room services and pillow menu can be found on this iPad. Any problems you can call me anytime on my personal number which is...this.” He said before handing Frank a small card with his name, position and number on it.

 

“Okay,” Frank nodded, staring at the small embossed gold printed numbers on the card, nodding again before he pushed the card into his jeans pocket, “Thanks.”

 

“I do hope you enjoy your stay here.” Gavin smiled, the probably overused line sounding more than rehearsed as he said it to Frank.

 

“I hope so too.” Frank nodded, forcing out a fake and dry chuckle, almost forgetting what had happened earlier because of what he was standing in the middle of right now. Gavin eventually left, leaving Frank all to himself, taking a moment to look around the suite again, “Fuck.”

 

For five minutes, Frank went looking around the whole suite, inspecting every bedroom which wasn’t as elegant as the master bedroom which he knew he was definitely going to be sleeping in, but they were still fancy and decked out with the most exquisite of furnishings. He checked out the en-suite bathrooms, gawking when he took in the sight of just how stunning a bathroom could be. Syrup and rich platinum tiles covered the floor, matching the warm brown red marble that lined the bath and sink. Frank caught sight of himself in one of the mirrors that covered the bathroom walls. He ignored how red his face looked. A sinking feeling grew in him, but he tried his best to ignore it while he continued to look around the suite.

 

Passing through the second living room that was attached to the first on, he found himself walking into the dining room. On the large dining room table he found an ice bucket perched with a bottle of Krug champagne sat in it, chilling. Frank half thought about opening it, but he didn’t want to seem like the sad lonely type who would put away a bottle of what was more than likely champagne that he would never be able to afford. Frank just ignored it, walking around the dining room before he went back into the living room, not quite knowing what to do with himself now that he had searched the place.

 

He half considered watching tv, but that seemed like such a dull thing to do while he was staying in this suite. It didn’t matter that he had counted nine flat screen tvs that he could choose from, Frank just didn’t feel like doing anything while he stood in the middle of the living room, hands stuffed inside his jeans pockets, all of a sudden feeling somewhat out of place.

 

And the sinking sadness that Frank had tried to ignore was rearing its head up inside of him. As much as Frank tried to push it back down, he just couldn’t as his eyes began to sting again. Screwing them shut, Frank fought it, but it was no use as the lump in his throat got too much and a quiet sob left him in the far too quiet suite that reminded him so much of the one person he had walked away from.

 

Frank honestly didn’t know what to do with himself. He wiped his eyes dry, going into denial about the fact that he was crying because he felt so alone. Going from being alone to having someone like Jamia supporting him to being alone again before Gerard and now he was back to being alone again. It felt like too much in such a short amount of time. Frank felt emotionally bruised and unable to cope with being alone again right now. Frank wished that he could pick up his phone and call Jamia because he knew that she would know exactly what to say to him to make him feel better. But he couldn’t. He wished that he could call someone who would understand and help him through this, but Frank honestly didn’t know who to call. It wasn’t like he had anyone who would understand and want to be there for him. A shoulder to cry on instead of raiding the minibar and drinking himself stupid before passing out.

 

Frank half considered calling one person because it seemed like the most obvious thing to do. It had been an option before, but Gerard had been there late at night for Frank. Gerard was no longer in the picture so the option finally made sense to Frank as he pulled his phone from his jeans pocket, dialling the memorised number slowly, thinking this all through. Making sure that this was going to be a good idea before Frank hit dial, holding his breath, waiting for him to answer, which he did.

 

“Hey…It’s me, Frank.”


End file.
